In The Circle

• Join us at r20.com/welcome to explore how to move beyond addiction and thrive in your life.

• Come and experience an in-person event or retreat: r20.com/events

In The Circle is produced by Crate Media.

8. Understanding Relapse: Abstinence vs. True Recovery Mar 28, 2023

Show notes

Today's thoughtful inquiry comes to us from Elizabeth, as she offers the deeply meaningful subject of relapse for closer inspection. In doing so, we reframe the meaning of the word, removing all shame from its existence, and call in the support of others on the path.

Where it’s easy to point blame at a person, a circumstance, even one defining moment – we learn to take a step back, in silence, to assess the many other variables that led to such a moment. In taking responsibility for how we can get there, it becomes easier to avoid the same path.

Tommy discusses:

• Relapse is not a necessity, even though it's very common

• Optionality of relapse outcomes

• Identifying and traveling to different levels of consciousness

• How can we avoid relapse?

• What are the signs of a relapse?

Connect with Tommy:

• Join us at r20.com/welcome to explore how to move beyond addiction and thrive in your life.

• Come and experience an in-person event or retreat: r20.com/events

In The Circle is produced by Crate Media.

7. The Power And The Pitfalls Of Grief Mar 21, 2023

Show notes

Today's inquiry comes to us from Melly, who brings up the topic of grief and loss. We’ll discuss the importance of allowing ourselves to fully feel the waves of grief when it comes up for us. Because grief and loss can lead to relapse in some cases; and it’s essential that we let those feelings in and give ourselves time to process.

We will often attach stories to grief; whether it’s losing a child to addiction, not being able to care for a parent in their illness, or not being present when a loved one passes away. These stories stick with us, and cause the grief to stick as well, so we need to learn to release them through our healing process. When we lose people, our way of communicating with them must change. Their form has changed, but their connectedness to us never goes away.

Tommy discusses:

• The difference between sadness and grief

• The stories we attach to grief, and how to release them

• How grief affects those who have lost loved ones, children, and animals

• Experiencing grief in recovery

• Why grief can lead to relapse in some cases

• How to navigate grief

Connect with Tommy

• Join us at r20.com/welcome to explore how to move beyond addiction and thrive in your life.

• Come and experience an in-person event or retreat: r20.com/events

In The Circle is produced by Crate Media.

6. Alcohol Is Not Ruining My Life, But I Can’t Stop Drinking Mar 14, 2023

Show notes

Today’s inquiry is from our community member, Rebecca, who says, "alcohol is not ruining my life, but I can't stop drinking." This is specifically important for those in recovery, and yet relevant for everyone else.

Because this inquiry is for the person who does not identify as an alcoholic. This is for the person who isn’t going to necessarily end up at an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. This is for the person who is able to stop drinking for a week or two, but find themselves going back to it again, and again, and again.

The severe alcoholic in one respect, in one single respect, has it easier than anybody else: because there's no question that they have a problem, and there's no question that they need to change. But we do not agree with the premise that people need to be utterly broken in their life in order to try something new.

What if we didn't judge drinking as good or bad? What if we just reflected upon our own experience, our own feelings, and we can make a decision for ourselves from that place? Wouldn't that be a wonderful thing?

Tommy discusses:

• The concept of a “high bottom”

• The definition of a teaching, and how it applies universally

• The importance of practice in recovery, and not looking for a specific “end date”

• Misunderstandings around alcohol

• Light, medium, and heavy drinking

Connect with Tommy:

• Join us at r20.com/welcome to explore how to move beyond addiction and thrive in your life.

• Come and experience an in-person event or retreat: r20.com/events