How To! with Charles Duhigg

Latest Episodes:

How To Stand Up To a Workplace Bully Mar 22, 2022

Show notes

When a fellow employee started bullying Christy at her workplace she took the situation to her supervisor, Human Resources, and even filed grievances with her union. But the situation never improved. In fact, it got worse to the point where Christy had no choice but to walk away from her job of over 30 years. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Megan Hunter – co-founder and CEO of High Conflict Institute and author of BIFF at Work: Your Guide to Difficult Workplace Communication. She offers insight into the bullying Christy experienced and shares advice for anyone who might be in a similar situation. "We just have to know the rules and then we can manage that relationship instead of having that person and their fear-driven operating system manage us," Megan says. With input from Christy, Megan sheds light on how to handle a toxic work environment.

If you liked this episode, check out: How To Fire a Bad Employee

Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show.

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How To Make Friends... Like a Man Mar 15, 2022

Show notes

After Zach heard our "How To Make Friends as an Adult" episode, which coincidentally featured all women, he and a few other male listeners wrote in questioning how useful it was for men. He wondered if we could address the unique challenges men face when it comes to making new friends. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Slate staff writers Dan Kois, author of How to Be a Family, and Aymann Ismail, former host of the podcast Man Up, to coach Zach through a few easy tips. "You just gotta be shameless about it," says Dan. Whether it's balancing parenthood or playing the numbers game, Dan and Aymann share practical ways to put yourself out there, even if it means being a little bit vulnerable.

If you liked this episode, check out How To Put Your Wife's Career First.

Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen.

Podcast production by Derek John, Rosemary Belson, and Katie Shepherd.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

How To Have Happy Regrets Mar 08, 2022

Show notes

Courtenay has more than a few regrets, starting with her career. Despite her accomplishments as an opera singer, she wishes she'd prioritized her professional goals, become more proficient on the piano and with foreign languages. Then there are the personal regrets, like the elderly friend Courteney lost touch with — who then passed away. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Daniel H. Pink, author of The Power of Regret: How Looking Backward Moves Us Forward, to coach Courtenay through reclaiming her regrets. "We haven't taught people how to properly deal with negative emotions," Pink reminds us. We'll learn about the four core regrets that most of us share and how to turn them into wisdom.

If you liked this episode, check out "How To Uproot Your Life."

Podcast production by Derek John, Rosemary Belson and Katie Shepherd.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

How To Stop 'Having It All' (Before You End Up With Nothing) Mar 01, 2022

Show notes

Janey is the very definition of a woman trying to "have it all." She's an occupational therapist by day, a ghost writer for influencers by night and in between co-hosts a podcast. On top of that, she has two sons who play travel sports and a husband who works long hours. It's left Janey wondering if she'll ever catch her breath. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Amy Westervelt, who's no slouch herself. She's a journalist, host of the award-winning podcast Drilled, a busy mom and author of the book Forget "Having It All": How America Messed Up Motherhood, and How to Fix It. She shares with Janey how trying to "have it all" almost left her with nothing. It's advice that all of us can use to rebalance our lives and reprioritize what's important.

Check out Amy's invisible labor calculator.

If you liked this episode, check out "How To Advance Your Career By Quitting Your Job."

Do you have a question with no easy answers? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Encore: How To Win Gold Without Losing Yourself Feb 22, 2022

Show notes

Winning the Olympics is everything Steve Mesler ever wanted. So when he and his U.S. bobsled teammates stood atop the podium at the 2010 Vancouver Games, his life seemed golden in every way. But soon after his triumph, Steve began to experience a period of extended mourning. Even though he won a gold medal, he lost his identity and sense of purpose. And he wasn't the only one. On this episode of How To!, the former Olympian, co-founder of Classroom Champions, and current United States Olympic and Paralympic Committee board member talks about the complicated aftermath of achieving an all-consuming pursuit. He discusses his struggles with depression, losing teammates to suicide and what the USOPC is doing to destigmatize mental health treatment. (This episode originally aired July 20, 2021)

If you liked this episode, check out: "How To Be a Badass On and Off the Court."

Do you have an Olympic-sized problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

How To Fight With Your Parents Feb 15, 2022

Show notes

It's been two decades since Maggie's mom has gone to the doctor and her health is incredibly….shaky. Maggie's mom has severe asthma and allergies which has basically isolated her from the world. With isolation has come anger and bitterness. Maggie is at a loss. She's tried everything she can think of yet her mother refuses to get help. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Elizabeth Berg, a nurse-turned-bestselling novelist who has penned some 30 books, many focusing on family drama. Her latest is a touching memoir called I'll Be Seeing You, which follows her perfectly imperfect parents as they've gotten older. Elizabeth has some hard-earned wisdom for Maggie, and all of us, about navigating a contentious relationship with our aging parents.

If you liked this episode, check out "How To Embrace Your Anti-Vax Family This Holiday Season" and "How To Get a Stubborn Parent to Listen."

Do you have a question with no easy answers? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

How To Beat Hackers at Their Own Game Feb 08, 2022

Show notes

Susan was concerned when she first learned that someone was impersonating her on Facebook, but that soon turned to anger when she realized the imposter had sent inappropriate photos to her real life friends. Susan tried and failed to get the account taken down. Then came the extortion letter...and now she's freaking out a bit. On this episode of How To!, Jack Rhysider, host of Darknet Diaries and cybersecurity veteran, talks about the time he was stalked on the internet. Jack no longer shares much online — he won't even show his face. You don't have to go that far, but there are things you can do to protect your online data and your emotions in real life. If you're worried about being exposed, Jack has some great resources for battling stalkers and online harassment.

If you liked this episode, check out "How To Steal Back Your Identity."

Do you have a hacker horror story with a happy ending? Or some other problem we can help solve? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

How To Crack Up Your Coworkers (Without Being Offensive) Feb 01, 2022

Show notes

Last week we learned about using the four different styles of humor to your advantage, and who makes a good target for a joke. But what if you read the room wrong and absolutely bomb? On this episode of How To!, the second in a two-part series, we resume our conversation with Naomi Bagdonas, co-author of Humor, Seriously!, and Michael Terry, the most hilarious hedge fund guy we've ever met. They swap stories about office jokes that fell flat, how to navigate a suddenly tense situation and what to do if your humor accidentally offends someone (especially your boss).

If you liked this episode, check out "How To Be Funny" with comedian Gary Gulman.

If you want to discover your own humor style, take the test on Naomi and Jennifer's website.

Do you have a joke that killed at the office, or totally bombed? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

How To Make Humor Your Superpower Jan 25, 2022

Show notes

Did you know that we, as a society, have fallen off a comedy cliff? No joke. Studies have shown that we largely stop laughing when we enter our mid-twenties, which is a shame because delighting in humor has a ton of health benefits. Plus, being perceived as funny can actually make people think you're more intelligent, more competent, and even better looking! So on this episode of How To!, the first in a two-part series, we bring on Naomi Bagdonas, co-author of Humor, Seriously!, and Michael Terry, an amateur comedian who is working in the funniest of places: high finance. Combined, they have decades of experience harnessing the power humor and applying it to the workplace.

If you liked this episode, check out "How To Confront a Crazy Neighbor" with Tig Notaro.

If you want to discover your own humor style, take the test on Naomi and Jennifer's website.

Do you have a question with no easy answers? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Encore: How To Succeed When Everyone's Mad at You Jan 18, 2022

Show notes

Have you ever had to make an impossible decision? One that doesn't have an obvious "right" answer. One that someone will inevitably hate. John knows this feeling all too well. He's the superintendent for a mid-size school district in California. To say the last school year was difficult is a major understatement… John tried to ensure the safety of his students, teachers, and faculty while balancing the reality of students struggling in their virtual classes. Throughout the school year, John's relationship with his teachers and the teachers union deteriorated. Now, classes are back in session and he's hoping to find common ground as soon as possible. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Gary Friedman, a world-renowned conflict mediator. He has some tips on how all of us can mend a fraught relationship before it's too late.

If you liked this episode, check out "How To Stand Up to Your Terrible Manager—Without Getting Fired."

Do you have a problem you can't get out of your head? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show.

This episode originally ran on August 31, 2021.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

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