How To! with Charles Duhigg

Latest Episodes:

How To Write Your Memoir Mar 25, 2025

Show notes

To some, the act of writing a memoir might seem daunting, invasive, or navel-gazing. But excavating memories, noticing patterns, and revisiting events from other points of view can lead to healing—regardless of whether your work gets published.

On this episode of How To!, Carvell Wallace brings on Melissa Febos. Melissa is the bestselling author of five books, including Girlhood—winner of the National Book Critics Circle Award in Criticism—and a forthcoming memoir, The Dry Season. She teaches us how to create our own narrative in ways that are safe for you and empathetic of others.

If you liked this episode check out: Carvell Wallace on Another Word for Love, How To Start Writing (with Anna Quindlen and John Dickerson), and How To Get Your Book Published

Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen.

The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer.

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How To Discover Music You'll Love Mar 18, 2025

Show notes

Music streaming services like Spotify offer huge libraries of songs and albums—with recommendation engines that can feel unadventurous and repetitive. On this episode of How To!, Carvell Wallace welcomes online tastemaker and podcast host Derrick Gee to discuss the shortcomings of music streaming algorithms. And, they sit down with R.J. and Brie—two music fans from different generations—to offer up tips for finding hidden gems and obscure jams that might reinvigorate your own music-seeking journey.

Recommendations from this episode:

Internet radio: KEXP (Seattle), KALX (UC-Berkeley), NTS Radio (UK), and KVRX, "None of the Hits, All of the Time" (Austin, Texas)

Podcasts and online features: Speaks Volumes With Derrick Gee, Bandsplain, NPR's Song of the Day

Derrick G's playlists

If you liked this episode check out How To Write the Perfect Breakup Song (with special guest Ben Folds).

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Supercommunicators | 3. How to Have the Hardest Conversations Mar 12, 2025

Show notes

The final installment of our series explores the conversations that most of us dread, like frank discussions of our differences or a negative performance review at work. We often anticipate that these chats will go badly—and end in hurt feelings or embarrassment—but there are proven ways to make them easier to navigate.

Host Charles Duhigg talks with psychologist Jay Van Bavel about strategies for having the hardest conversations. And: Vernā Myers, Netflix's former vice president for inclusion strategy, tells the story of what happened inside the company after an executive was fired for using a racial slur.

This Slate miniseries dives into the art and science of meaningful conversations, inspired by Duhigg's bestselling book, Supercommunicators. The guides we mention in this episode can be found at charlesduhigg.com/tools/

Supercommunicators was produced by Sophie Summergrad and Derek John, who also did the sound design. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Quick Fix: Moving 575 Books Mar 11, 2025

Show notes

In this exclusive Quick Fix bonus episode: Co-hosts Carvell Wallace and Courtney Martin both moved to new homes recently. Ahead of peak moving season, they sit down to share the lessons learned from moving hundreds of books, sharing the responsibility of home decor, and taking the plunge into a major renovation. Plus, Courtney and Carvell share recommendations based on what they're loving right now.

Links Mentioned:

KALX 90.7FM live stream (UC-Berkeley)

WKCR 89.9FM live stream (Columbia University)

WSUM 91.7FM live stream (University of Wisconsin-Madison)

WBAR (Barnard College)

Anora

Heartstopper

How To! is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer.

This episode is member-exclusive. Listen to it now by subscribing to Slate Plus. By joining, not only will you unlock this episode—you'll also access ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Visit slate.com/howtoplus to get access wherever you listen.

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How To Lose Your 'Virginity' at 43 Mar 11, 2025

Show notes

For most of her life, Elizabeth was a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, which forbids having sex outside of marriage. But she recently left the Mormon faith, and now she's ready to have sex for the first time—at age 43. On this episode of How To!, Courtney Martin brings on Nicole Hardy, author of Confessions of a Latter-Day Virgin to offer Elizabeth advice that's relevant to anyone who's ready to tap into their sexuality later in life—but unsure how (or where! or with whom!) to start.

If you liked this episode check out: How To Orgasm, How To Make Sexual Consent Sexy, and How To Be Free of Body Shame

The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

How To Interview Someone Mar 04, 2025

Show notes

Interviews are a time-honored way to elicit intimate insights from public figures and people in power. But at a moment when so much history is being denied or even deleted, interviewing family members and elders can be an important way to document their lives—and understand more about ourselves. On this episode of How To!, Carvell Wallace brings on Sam Fragoso, host of the podcast Talk Easy. Sam explains what he's learned from hundreds of longform celebrity interviews, and how he applied those lessons to sit-downs with his parents.

If you liked this episode check out: The Art of the On-Mic Interview or How To Ace an Interview

How To is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Supercommunicators | 2. How to Communicate Without Words Mar 01, 2025

Show notes

Why is it that we can tell someone "I'm totally fine!" and they instantly know we're not? Gestures, facial expressions, tone of voice, and other subtle nonverbal cues play a huge role in how we connect with one another.

In this episode, host Charles Duhigg explores how we communicate without words, including a deep dive into the visual and tonal cues embedded in one of the biggest sitcoms of all time, The Big Bang Theory.

He talks with Dr. Dustin York, a professor at Maryville University who studies nonverbal communication and worked in public relations for Barack Obama's 2008 presidential campaign. He also sits down with Dave Goetsch, a co-executive producer and longtime writer for The Big Bang Theory, and journalist Jessica Radloff, who wrote an exhaustive book about the show.

This Slate miniseries dives into the art and science of meaningful conversations, inspired by Duhigg's bestselling book, Supercommunicators.

Supercommunicators was produced by Sophie Summergrad and Derek John, who also did the sound design. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Quick Fix | Challenge #2: Sleep Hacks Feb 25, 2025

Show notes

Can you actually make your life better? Every month, How To! producer Rosie Belson will put some of our best advice to the test. This month: optimizing sleep!

Featured How To! episodes:

Next month we'll be breaking up with our phones—with advice heard on these episodes:

How To's supervising producer is Joel Meyer. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

How To Protect Your Parents From Fraud Feb 25, 2025

Show notes

May's father nearly lost $4,000 to an online scam. How can she protect him from future fraud? On this episode of How To!, Courtney Martin brings on Kathy Stokes, director of fraud prevention programs at AARP. She also runs their Fraud Watch Network. Kathy helps May rethink how she's talking to her parents about cyber scams—she explains steps that everyone can take to avoid becoming a crime victim.

If you or someone you know has been the victim of cyber fraud, you can contact AARP's helpline at 877-908-3360.

Liked this episode? heck out: How To Beat Hackers at Their Own Game and How To Steal Back Your Identity

How To's supervising producer is Joel Meyer. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Supercommunicators | 1. How to Talk to Anyone Feb 22, 2025

Show notes

Why are some people able to talk with just about anyone—about almost anything? One answer may lie in the questions we ask—and how deeply we ask them. Stick with us here…

In this episode, host Charles Duhigg examines why deep questions are so powerful and how to ask them in everyday life.

He talks to Nick Epley, psychology professor at the University of Chicago and lifelong researcher of deep questions. And we catch up with Mandy Len Catron, 10 years after she wrote the viral New York Times article "The 36 Questions That Lead to Love."

This Slate miniseries dives into the art and science of meaningful conversations, inspired by Duhigg's bestselling book, Supercommunicators.

Supercommunicators was produced by Derek John and Sophie Summergrad.

Our technical director is Merritt Jacob.

Joel Meyer is our supervising producer.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.