How to Survive

Latest Episodes:

How to Survive: Apostle (2018) Nov 21, 2018

Show notes

It's episode 169 and the promise of the Divine is but an illusion. Nothing in this world is pure... except for the How to Survive podcast.

Apostle (2018) tells the story of Thomas. Called upon to rescue his sister from a religious cult on a Welsh island, Thomas gets more than he bargained for when the cult's rituals appear to hide a terrifying secret.

We talk about thorough investigative measures; terrible contraception advice; the importance of stealth in an assassination.

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: I fear our Lord no longer hears my podcast. Yet still, I pray for your download... for my savior. Please bring me home. Your beloved daughter...

Next week, our franchise run continues with Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge (1985).

Get in touch! HowtoSurviveShow@gmail.com

How to Survive: The Final Destination Marathon Nov 20, 2018

Show notes

The Final Destination franchise is a staple for horror movie fans. Despite having no clear antagonist, the threat of an inescapable and horrifically violent demise kept audiences glued to their seats for over a decade.

The franchise is often requested by listeners, and Chris and Joe felt it was finally time to board the proverbial plane; pull out into the proverbial traffic; keep their hands and feet inside the proverbial vehicle; attend the proverbial Nascar event; and... get caught in the proverbial bridge collapse...? (That will have to do).

In this special bonus episode Chris and Joe talk through their experience of watching all 5 movies for the second How to Survive Marathon Video. Though they talk through all the burns, cuts, scrapes, crushes, explosions and eye-ball pops that you'll ever need to hear about.

All of which leads to one question...

Why haven't you watched it yet?

Watch the full video now: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7pN00FFtB40

How to Survive: Hold the Dark (2018) Nov 14, 2018

Show notes

It's episode 168 and what happened here, happened to me.

Hold the Dark (2018) tells the story of Russell - an expert in wolves. Russell is summoned to Alaska to investigate some wolves who have been taking children - and ends up in the middle of something nobody could have seen coming.

We talk about the risks of being instantly boiled to death; the importance of choosing your suppliers wisely, and equally the importance of questioning a brief.

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: Your daddy wanted wolf's oil - for you. Do you know that? He said you was "unnatural." That was his word. Unnatural.

Next week, Gareth Evans' 2018 laugh-fest Apostle, which is available on Netflix.

Get in touch! HowtoSurviveShow@gmail.com

How to Survive: Mandy (2018) Nov 07, 2018

Show notes

It's episode 167 and that was my favourite shirt!

Mandy (2018) tells the story of Red and Mandy - lovers who have moved into the wilderness to live in the comfort of each other's company. All that is thrown into disarray when a passing cult leader becomes infatuated with Mandy - and what happens next has to be seen to be believed...

We talk about bringing a gun to a chainsaw fight; spotting drug misuse in the people around you; and the benefits of making sure vengeful people can't enact their revenge.

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: You're just meat. Without a soul, without a brain, without anything. Animal. You, you have no spirit- everlasting! No, no radiant light! I possess elucidations you will never know!.

Next week, Jeremy Saulnier's 2018 Werewolf movie 'Hold the Dark', which is available on Netflix.

Get in touch! HowtoSurviveShow@gmail.com

How to Survive: Halloween (2018) Oct 31, 2018

Show notes

It's episode 166 and our favourite time of the year...

Halloween (2018) is the story of Laurie and Michael Myers, set 40 years after their first encounter in the movie of the same name in 1978. Laurie has spent the intervening decades stockpiling weapons and ruining her relationship with her daughter and granddaughter - but all of that is turned upside down when Michael Myers escapes from prison and returns to Hadonfied...

We talk about the most boring villain in movie history; the importance of screening for staff in your hospital; and the risks of laying down deep roots in a town which has nothing to offer you

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: Happy Halloween, Michael. .

Next week, its headspinning art-house horror with Mandy (2018)

Get in touch! HowtoSurviveShow@gmail.com

How to Survive: Unfriended (2014) Oct 24, 2018

Show notes

It's episode 165 and it's probably a glitch...

Unfriended (2014) tells the story of a group of friends who are Skyping, instant messaging, texting, Facebooking, emailing and Instagramming each other one evening - when all of a sudden all of those messaging platforms appear to become haunted by the spirit of their dead schoolfriend.

Is it a glitch? A hacker? Or are they really being haunted over the internet from beyond the grave?

We talk about the difficulties of sympathising with the world's worst collection of people; the benefits and limitations of shooting an entire movie over Skype; and there's never been a better reason to turn off your computer and go outside.

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: listen sweetheart you're a f**king asshole and if you don't download right now, I'll come over there and knock the trash out of your ears.

Next week, it's the spookiest day of the year in Halloween (2018)

Get in touch! HowtoSurviveShow@gmail.com

How to Survive: The Belko Experiment (2016) Oct 16, 2018

Show notes

It's episode 164 and if you dislike workplace disputes, don't apply to work at Belko.

The Belko Experiment (2016) tells the story of Mike Milch, who works for international corporation 'Belko' in its Colombia office. One day, the doors and windows are sealed shut, and the employees are ordered to kill each other or be killed themselves. The Belko Experiment has begun...

We talk about passive resistance against in a Total War scenario; the importance of picking your fights wisely; and we enjoy a lively debate about the best piece of office equipment to use to kill your colleagues.

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: HR will have a field day with this one.

Next week, we'll be Skyping in for Unfriended (2014).

Get in touch! HowtoSurviveShow@gmail.com

How to Survive: REC (2007) Oct 10, 2018

Show notes

It's episode 163 and we're paell-ing on the gore in possibly the best found-footage film ever made!

REC (2007) follows news reporter Angela, and her cameraman Pablo, as they follow Barcelona firemen on a routine night of work. What could possibly go wrong? Oh, just hordes of the rabid undead and heinous religious abuse.

We talk Spanish history, the best splat sound in horror history and the benefits of a little bit of health & safety planning.

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: If this is a pain in the ass, just cut, okay?

Next week it's The Belko Experiment (2017), which is available on Netflix!

Get in touch! HowtoSurviveShow@gmail.com

How to Survive: Creep 2 (2017) Oct 03, 2018

Show notes

It's episode 162... and maybe the best horror sequel ever...

This week, Creep 2 (2017), in which another videographer is drawn into the path of Josef. Josef now calls himself Aaron, and this time he's hoping to collaborate with Sara. Will Sara's desire to make an interesting YouTube video cause her to become ensnared in Aaron's trap - or will she turn the tables?

We talk about sensible knife-holstering; un-sensible view finder positioning; and why a professional approach to editing and Video SEO is always encouraged.

Whatever happens, one things for sure: Sara loves her juicy fruit. And Aaron loves to kill.

Next week, we say Hola to Rec (2007)

Get in touch! HowtoSurviveShow@gmail.com

How to Survive: Alien³ (1992) Sep 26, 2018

Show notes

It's episode 161... and in space... no-one can hear you snore...

This week, Alien³ (1992), David Fincher's first movie, as 'We love franchises' season wraps up.

Alien³ tells the story of Ellen Ripley who, having survived the events of Aliens, now has to fight another Alien (which also somehow survived). This time the showdown is on a planet inhabited by a band of all-male space prisoners who haven't seen a woman in years, and don't have any weaponry to speak of.

We talk about the common-sense fortification; common-sense surgical hygiene; and a common-sense approach to guardpost staffing.

Whatever happens, one things for sure: In an insane world, a sane man must appear insane.

Next week, we return to our great love, Found Footage, with Creep 2 (2017).

Get in touch! HowtoSurviveShow@gmail.com

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