How To Survive The Classroom

Latest Episodes:

My Most Irrational Classroom Pet Peeve Feb 23, 2026

Show notes

Teacher besties… this episode has everything: licensure panic, conspiracy theories about teacher testing companies, medical dramas I probably shouldn’t have described in detail, and one first-year teacher who is being absolutely swarmed during passing period.

Gerry is in his final form of teacher paperwork chaos, grinding through the edTPA like it personally offended him, and I may or may not have gone on a small rant about why some of these hoops exist in the first place.

We also debate whether PE teachers really need a Praxis (Gerry has thoughts), spiral into television recommendations that absolutely should not be watched with children nearby, and answer a classroom management question that I know so many of you are living right now: how do you survive those first five minutes of class without losing your mind?

Plus, we share irrational classroom pet peeves, discuss why students absolutely cannot “just do it at home,” and Gerry unveils what might be his final, grand Potoka.

PRE-ORDER MY NEW BOOK (OUT MAY 5, 2026)!!! — ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/43BquPd⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Takeaways:

Why Gerry believes this is the edTPA’s toughest opponent yet.
My completely unverified theory about who really benefits from teacher testing requirements.
The one classroom management move that will instantly stop the passing-period swarm.
The pet peeve that will make Gerry physically lock a door.
Why “I’ll just do it at home” is one of the most dangerous lies in education.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

My Husband Is Funnier Than Me Feb 16, 2026

Show notes

Gerry is back after what can only be described as the Ice Age: Wake County Edition, we compare notes on barely meeting our students, and I realize, once again, that trusting Facebook teacher groups might be a dangerous choice.

We also talk about something huge in my life: my husband decided to try stand-up comedy for the very first time… during my show… with zero warning to anyone. Watching him crush five minutes on stage somehow made me more nervous than any set I’ve ever done myself, and Gerry’s reaction alone was worth it.

From there, we spiral (naturally) into comedy venues that feel like side quests, students who refuse to pay to see their professors perform, the deeply unserious idea of giving extra credit for attending comedy shows, and the absolute audacity of calling planning time a “gift.”

And yes, I climb onto a hill I’m fully prepared to die on, this time involving taxes, reading levels, and why being educated shouldn’t feel like a trap.

PRE-ORDER MY NEW BOOK (OUT MAY 5, 2026)!!! — ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/43BquPd⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Takeaways:

The moment I realized my husband might secretly be good at stand-up comedy.
Why teacher Facebook groups should never be treated as primary sources.
The phrase administrators use that makes my eye twitch instantly.
The awkward truth about students, professors, and paid entertainment.
The hill I’ll die on involving taxes, literacy, and common sense.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When People Demand You “Say Something”  Feb 09, 2026

Show notes

Teacher besties… this episode is a little heavier than usual, but it’s one I felt I needed to record exactly as it is.

Lately, the news cycle has been overwhelming, and as teachers, we don’t get the luxury of tuning it out, because our students bring it straight into our classrooms. In this episode, I talk honestly about what it feels like to be asked to “say something,” why nuance disappears online, and how impossible it can feel to hold space for kids who are scared, angry, confused, or all three at once.

I share why structure can be one of the most compassionate things we give students during chaotic times, how I’ve navigated these conversations in my own classroom, and why empathy has to come before ideology when kids are involved.

Then, we pivot, because life doesn’t stop. I respond to a first-year English teacher who is cheering out loud while grading student writing (yes, really), reflect on the power of what we say to kids, and explain why words from teachers can echo for decades.

PRE-ORDER MY NEW BOOK (OUT MAY 5, 2026)!!! — ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/43BquPd⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Takeaways:

Why “just stay neutral” isn’t as simple as people think for teachers.
The classroom strategy that can ground students when the world feels unsafe.
A grading moment so joyful it startled a janitor.
The reminder of how deeply a teacher’s words can shape a student’s future.
The grading policy hill I am fully prepared to die on.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Snapchat Story That Got A Teacher Arrested Feb 02, 2026

Show notes

I’m fresh off Teacher’s Lounge shows in Seattle and Portland (cities I was told to fear, but absolutely adored), and Gerry is coming back to work after a winter break so long it fully erased his sense of time, purpose, and identity.

We talk about Pacific Northwest vibes and play a game that asks the important question: is this a student insult… or a Portland restaurant?

Then we pivot into teacher reality: the story of a teacher arrested over a “private” Snapchat, what that means for how we vent, joke, and exist online, and why context doesn’t always save you anymore.

We also dive into the grossest things we’ve ever seen in student backpacks, hypothetical snakes in classrooms, science teachers with emotional-support lizards, and the hills we are absolutely prepared to die on as we stumble back into the school year.

PRE-ORDER MY NEW BOOK (OUT MAY 5, 2026)!!! — ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/43BquPd⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Takeaways:

The restaurant names that made me question reality in Seattle and Portland.
Why “private” messages aren’t actually private and what teachers need to consider now.
The backpack discovery that permanently altered my brain chemistry.
How different teachers react to wildlife in the classroom (and why some people scare me).
The workday expectations that make absolutely no sense after a long break.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Names Kids Call You When You’re Not Listening Jan 26, 2026

Show notes

Teacher besties… this episode is what happens when you let me and Gerry talk long enough to uncover each other’s secret side quests.

I found out Gerry is casually coaching middle school basketball, we unpack why coaching parents somehow feel less terrifying than classroom parents, and I confess that my basketball career was built almost entirely on effort, fouls, and one accidental broken nose.

We also get into musical theater respect, drama teacher burnout, the teacher red flags that instantly make you question the vibes, and the deeply humbling experience of hearing what students really think you look like.

Plus, we tackle a Would You Rather that exposes the fantasy of “saying whatever you want at work,” debate poop patrol versus state testing, and I plant my flag firmly on a hill involving people who describe themselves as “just blunt.”

PRE-ORDER MY NEW BOOK (OUT MAY 5, 2026)!!! — ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/43BquPd⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Takeaways:

The secret coaching gig that somehow flew completely under my radar.
Why some teacher fashion choices immediately feel like a red flag.
The student comparisons that emotionally scar you forever.
A Would You Rather that reveals how broken school incentives really are.
The personality trait people brag about that is actually just a warning sign.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Why Gerry Wasn’t Invited to Florida Jan 20, 2026

Show notes

Teacher besties… this episode officially marks a new era, and honestly? It’s already unhinged. I’m joined by Gerry (yes, that Gerry), and we immediately get into important topics like whether Terre Haute feels like witness protection, why Florida keeps rewarding me while Jerry watches from afar, and how I accidentally ended up hanging out with an NSYNC member in a fancy room full of extremely rich people.

We also talk about New Year’s resolutions that feel suspiciously like punishment, the ongoing grading spiral, why middle school books sometimes hit harder than “grown-up” books, and the eternal debate of which boy band you’d actually want to survive a tour with.

Plus, we dive into airplane etiquette (someone flossed), teacher Would You Rather questions that reveal way too much about school systems, and why Gerry’s geography confidence remains… ambitious.

It’s chaotic. It’s conversational. And it’s exactly the energy this podcast is moving into.

PRE-ORDER MY NEW BOOK (OUT MAY 5, 2026)!!! — ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/43BquPd⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Takeaways:

The moment I realized I had crossed into a tax bracket I do not belong in.
Why Gerry is still recovering emotionally from Florida.
The airplane behavior that deeply horrified my husband (and will probably horrify you).
A teacher “Would You Rather” that exposes just how broken school coverage systems are.
The book recommendations that prove middle-grade fiction absolutely still slaps.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When Your Recess Turns Into a Protest Rally Jan 12, 2026

Show notes

PRE-ORDER MY NEW BOOK (OUT MAY 5, 2026)!!! — ⁠https://bit.ly/43BquPd⁠

Teacher besties… I am recording this episode with teeth that feel like exposed electrical wiring, so if I sound unwell, it’s because I am unwell. I decided to get my teeth professionally whitened, and let’s just say the pain level was somewhere between “natural childbirth with a broken epidural” and “why did I do this to myself.”

But vanity drama aside, this week I’m talking about the real chaos. Second graders chanting suspicious initials, a recess mystery that may or may not have involved children unknowingly shouting a swear word, the ongoing saga of my unfortunate last name, and the moment my husband revealed he once ran a black-market lamination scheme to get into a basketball game.

Plus, I’m sharing why now is the perfect time to be your classroom’s Agent of Chaos, the website that gives you instant science/math magic for K-8, and the massive show update I’ve been waiting to announce.

Takeaways:

The cosmetic decision that almost made me collapse in the Lowe’s parking lot.
The recess chant that had teachers whispering, “Wait… what did they just say?”
Why my husband’s teenage criminal enterprise involved a stolen lamination machine.
How to inject the perfect amount of chaos into your classroom to survive winter.
The huge announcement about the future of the show (and the beloved guest joining me full-time).

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Why Class Sizes Are the Real Crisis No One Is Fixing Jan 05, 2026

Show notes

Teacher besties… this episode I’m talking about hosting nearly 30 people for Thanksgiving (including a self-appointed “Director of Thanksgiving”), discovering my husband’s family may have some intense World War II memorabilia, and the moment I suddenly had to ask, “Was he… on the right side?”

And then, because the universe wasn’t done with me, we dive into a student who shotgunned a seltzer in the middle of a lesson like he was training for a frat he cannot legally join yet… and another student who thought it would be hilarious to make his teacher’s mom his Chromebook wallpaper.

Plus, I’m climbing onto a hill that I know is going to get me fired up, because if we don’t fix this issue in education, nothing else even matters.

PRE-ORDER MY NEW BOOK (OUT MAY 5, 2026)!!! — ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/43BquPd⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Takeaways:

The unexpected family “heirloom” that made me question everything I knew about my husband’s family tree.
The seventh grader who cracked open a seltzer like he was at a tailgate… during a lesson on industrialization.
Why I now fully believe middle schoolers work for the FBI.
A brain break resource that turns even high-schoolers into unhinged backup dancers.
The one education issue that will ruin every reform effort until we actually address it.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Teacher With a Degree in Vibes with Gerry Potoka Dec 29, 2025

Show notes

PRE-ORDER MY NEW BOOK (OUT MAY 5, 2026)!!! - https://bit.ly/43BquPd

Teacher besties… this week I brought on one of my favorite chaotic humans: the hilarious Gerry Potoka, comedian, teacher, and man of mysteriously undefined licensure.

In this episode, Gerry and I try to pinpoint what he actually teaches, debate whether PE tests are secretly impossible, unpack his “desk art collection,” and discover that his lowercase k is actually a cursive crime.

We also react to a voice memo that had both of us questioning the ethics of having “favorite students,” accidentally stumble into a conversation about charcuterie boards and disease vectors, and play a game of Would You Rather: Teacher Edition that reveals way too much about our tolerance for cafeteria behavior.

Takeaways:

The shocking subject Gerry may, or may not, actually be licensed to teach.
Why his lowercase k started an existential crisis in the teacher’s lounge.
The voice memo that made us both rethink “favorite students” forever.
Kinder field trips vs. middle school dances: the battle of true horrors.
A charcuterie board, a stomach bug, and a chain reaction that absolutely nobody survived.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When All Your Students Misunderstand the Assignment… Guess Who’s the Problem? Dec 22, 2025

Show notes

PRE-ORDER MY NEW BOOK (OUT MAY 5, 2026)!!! — https://bit.ly/43BquPd

This week I’m talking about the grading spiral that made me question my entire career, the wild field-trip confessions my five-year-old brought home, and the absolute unhinged energy that middle schoolers bring into any art room with a blank sheet of paper.

And the voice memos? Oh, they’re next-level. One features a crime scene so disgusting I almost logged off my own podcast. The other… well, let’s just say a substitute made a choice that will go down in school-wide legend, and not in a good way.

Plus, I’m climbing up on a hill I fully expect to die on, and it involves legal loopholes, teenagers, and why this country needs to get its act together.

Takeaways:

The surprisingly delicious St. Louis food that healed my pre-show stomach disaster.

How a grading pile-up turned into a full-on identity crisis.

Why elementary crushes feel like Shakespearean monologues now.

The most unhinged classroom vandalism case I’ve ever heard—and the wild “investigation” that followed.

The legal hill I did not expect to die on this week… and why I’m standing on it anyway.

—

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices