How to Do It with Stoya and Rich

My Boyfriend Loves Dirty Talk. But He Doesn’t Say the One Thing I Want. Mar 27, 2022

This week, Stoya and Rich advise a letter writer whose partner isn’t saying the right things, and they discuss a letter from a woman who can’t bear to touch herself.

Mentioned in this episode:

My New Gender Workbook by Kate Bornstein

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Continue following Rich and Stoya and their How to Do It column on Slate here.

Production by Chau Tu.

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My Husband Went on a Date With His Ex-Girlfriend Mar 20, 2022

Stoya and Rich discuss a letter from a woman whose experiment with “ethical non-monogamy” isn’t going the way she expected.

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Read the How to Do It column on Slate here. If you’re in need of sex advice from Stoya and Rich, write in here or leave a voicemail at ‪(347) 640-4025 and we may use it on the show. Remember, it’s anonymous—and nothing is too embarrassing!

Production by Chau Tu.

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No One Tells You What Happens When You’re Suddenly a Hot Guy Mar 13, 2022

This week, Stoya and Rich discuss a letter from a man whose attractiveness is getting in the way of his life and work.

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Read the How to Do It column on Slate here. If you’re in need of sex advice from Stoya and Rich, write in here or leave a voicemail at ‪(347) 640-4025 and we may use it on the show. Remember, it’s anonymous—and nothing is too embarrassing!

Production by Chau Tu.

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I’m Overwhelmed by My Boyfriend’s Sexual Demands Mar 06, 2022

This week, Stoya and Rich advise a letter writer who is overwhelmed by her partner’s daily sexual needs, and they discuss a letter from a man who wonders if his post-sex feelings are normal.

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Read the How to Do It column on Slate here. If you’re in need of sex advice from Stoya and Rich, write in here or leave a voicemail at ‪(347) 640-4025 and we may use it on the show. Remember, it’s anonymous—and nothing is too embarrassing!

Production by Chau Tu.

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The One Thing My Partner Desires in Bed Makes Me Gag Feb 27, 2022

This week, Stoya and Rich advise a letter writer who wonders what they can do to have a better experience giving oral sex, and they discuss a letter from a woman looking for advice on how to explain her specific dating needs.

Mentioned in this episode:

Breath: The New Science of a Lost Artby James Nestor

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Read the How to Do It column on Slate here. If you’re in need of sex advice from Stoya and Rich, write in here or leave a voicemail at ‪(347) 640-4025 and we may use it on the show. Remember, it’s anonymous—and nothing is too embarrassing!

Production by Chau Tu.

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I’m a Woman With a Very Male Sex Problem Feb 20, 2022

This week, Stoya and Rich advise a woman whose partner complains that she orgasms too quickly, and they discuss a letter from a woman who’s puzzled by why her boyfriend doesn’t want to have sex very often.

Mentioned in this episode:

So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sexby Ian Kerner

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Slate Plus members get another episode of the How to Do It podcast every Monday. Sign up for Slate Plus now.

Read the How to Do It column on Slate here. If you’re in need of sex advice from Stoya and Rich, write in here or leave a voicemail at ‪(347) 640-4025 and we may use it on the show. Remember, it’s anonymous—and nothing is too embarrassing!

Production by Chau Tu.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Simple Way to Have Better Sex After Marriage Feb 13, 2022

This week, Stoya and Rich answer a letter for Valentine’s Day from a man who’s looking for tips on how to spice up his sex life with his wife, and they discuss a letter from a man who’s wondering how to involve himself with his wife’s other relationship.

Mentioned in this episode:

Curious Pleasures by The Reverend Dr Eramus St Jude Croom DD

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Slate Plus members get another episode of the How to Do It podcast every Monday. Sign up for Slate Plus now for $25 off.

Read the How to Do It column on Slate here. If you’re in need of sex advice from Stoya and Rich, write in here or leave a voicemail at ‪(347) 640-4025 and we may use it on the show. Remember, it’s anonymous—and nothing is too embarrassing!

Production by Chau Tu.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I (Unfortunately) Know What My Husband Has Been Doing in Garage Feb 06, 2022

This week, Stoya and Rich answer a letter from a woman who’s worried about her husband’s secret habit, and offer suggestions for oral sex to a letter writer who has a unique problem.

Mentioned in the episode:

Sex, God, and the Conservative Church by Tina Schermer Sellers

Is Porn Addiction a Real Thing?

Moody Bitchesby Julie Holland

“TMJ and Intimacy” by S. Michael Plaut

Slate Plus members get another episode of the How to Do It podcast every Monday. Sign up for Slate Plus now and get $25 off.

Read the How to Do It column on Slate here. If you’re in need of sex advice from Stoya and Rich, write in here or leave a voicemail at ‪(347) 640-4025 and we may use it on the show. Remember, it’s anonymous—and nothing is too embarrassing!

Production by Chau Tu.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I’ve Only Just Discovered What Really Turns Me On. But What Is This Even Called? Jan 30, 2022

This week, Stoya and Rich answer a letter from a man who’s just made a new sexual discovery about himself. Then they hear from a woman who’s feeling judged for her boundaries.

Guest: Ryan Scoats

Mentioned in the episode:

‘I don’t mind watching him cum’: Heterosexual men, threesomes, and the erosion of the one-time rule of homosexuality.

Understanding Threesomes by Ryan Scoats

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Slate Plus members get another episode of the How to Do It podcast every Monday. Sign up for Slate Plus now for just $1.

Read the How to Do It column on Slate here. If you’re in need of sex advice from Stoya and Rich, write in here or leave a voicemail at ‪(347) 640-4025 and we may use it on the show. Remember, it’s anonymous—and nothing is too embarrassing!

Production by Chau Tu.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What Everyone Gets Wrong About Herpes Jan 23, 2022

This week, Stoya and Rich answer a letter from a woman who has a tricky question about herpes and a new man she’s seeing. Then they hear from a man who didn’t like the surprise he got in bed.

Mentioned in this episode:

“How Herpes Became a Sexual Boogeyman,” by L.V. Anderson, Slate, Dec. 2, 2019.

Slate Plus members get another episode of the How to Do It podcast every Monday. Sign up for Slate Plus now for just $1.

Read the How to Do It column on Slate here. If you’re in need of sex advice from Stoya and Rich, write in here or leave a voicemail at ‪(347) 640-4025 and we may use it on the show. Remember, it’s anonymous—and nothing is too embarrassing!

Production by Chau Tu.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I'm Worried About Cheating on My Girlfriend With My Wife Jan 16, 2022

This week, Stoya and Rich answer a letter from a man who’s concerned he’s cheating on his girlfriend—with his wife. Then they hear from a woman who wonders how bad it is that she kept a secret from a new romantic interest.

Slate Plus members get another episode of the How to Do It podcast every Monday. Sign up for Slate Plus now for just $1.

Read the How to Do It column on Slate here. If you’re in need of sex advice from Stoya and Rich, write in here or leave a voicemail at ‪(347) 640-4025 and we may use it on the show. Remember, it’s anonymous—and nothing is too embarrassing!

Production by Chau Tu.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I Have “COVID Dick.” Can I… Grow It Back? Jan 09, 2022

This week, Stoya and Rich answer a letter from a letter writer who wonders what he can do about “COVID dick.” Then they hear from a letter writer who doesn’t know if she’s capable of having casual sex—even though she wants it. Guests this episode: Charles Welliver and Ashley G. Winter.

Mentioned in this episode:

RestoreX

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Slate Plus members get another episode of the How to Do It podcast every Monday. Sign up for Slate Plus now for just $1.

Read the How to Do It column on Slate here. If you’re in need of sex advice from Stoya and Rich, write in here or leave a voicemail at ‪(347) 640-4025 and we may use it on the show. Remember, it’s anonymous—and nothing is too embarrassing!

Production by Chau Tu.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

My Husband Tried Something “New” With His Penis. I’m Dying. Jan 02, 2022

This week, Stoya and Rich answer a letter from a letter writer who’s been traumatized by her husband’s new “look.” Then they hear from a letter writer who wants to bring spanking outside of the bedroom.

Slate Plus members get another episode of the How to Do It podcast every Monday. Sign up for Slate Plus now for just $1.

***

Read the How to Do It column on Slate here. If you’re in need of sex advice from Stoya and Rich, write in here or leave a voicemail at ‪(347) 640-4025 and we may use it on the show. Remember, it’s anonymous—and nothing is too embarrassing!

Production by Chau Tu.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Thing That’s Been Turning Me on the Most Is Completely Unavoidable Dec 26, 2021

This week, Stoya and Rich answer a letter from a letter writer who’s keeping a neighborly secret. Then they hear from a letter writer who wonders how to bring up a touchy subject with her boyfriend.

Slate Plus members get another episode of the How to Do It podcast every Monday. Sign up for Slate Plus now for just $25 off your first year.

***

Read the How to Do It column on Slate here. If you’re in need of sex advice from Stoya and Rich, write in here or leave a voicemail at ‪(347) 640-4025 and we may use it on the show. Remember, it’s anonymous—and nothing is too embarrassing!

Production by Chau Tu.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I Had Another Woman Take Over Sex With My Boyfriend... Dec 19, 2021

This week, Stoya and Rich answer a letter from a letter writer who feels left out of her partners’ escapades. Then they hear from a letter writer who’s bothered that they don’t know why they didn’t get another date.

Mentioned in the episode:

Out of the Shadows by Walt Odets

Slate Plus members get another episode of the How to Do It podcast every Monday. Sign up for Slate Plus now for just $25 off your first year.

Read the How to Do It column on Slate here. If you’re in need of sex advice from Stoya and Rich, write in here or leave a voicemail at ‪(347) 640-4025 and we may use it on the show. Remember, it’s anonymous—and nothing is too embarrassing!

Production by Chau Tu.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Is What I Just Did Really “Cheating” on My Boyfriend? Dec 12, 2021

This week, Stoya and Rich answer a letter from a letter writer who wonders if what she just did counts as cheating. Then they hear from a man who wonders how to get his husband to agree to indulge his new desire in bed.

Slate Plus members get another episode of the How to Do It podcast every Monday. Sign up for Slate Plus now for just $1 for your first month.

Read the How to Do It column on Slate here. If you’re in need of sex advice from Stoya and Rich, write in here or leave a voicemail at ‪(347) 640-4025 and we may use it on the show. Remember, it’s anonymous—and nothing is too embarrassing!

Production by Chau Tu.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

My Girlfriend’s Real Sexual History Caught Me Off Guard Dec 05, 2021

This week, Stoya and Rich answer a letter from a man who just found out something about his girlfriend that disgusts him. Then they hear from a letter writer who’s wondering what to do about his in-laws’ peculiar pre-wedding tradition.

Mentioned in the episode:

Shamelessby Nadia Bolz-Weber

Slate Plus members get another episode of the How to Do It podcast every Monday. Sign up for Slate Plus now for just $1 for your first month.

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Read the How to Do It column on Slate here. If you’re in need of sex advice from Stoya and Rich, write in here or leave a voicemail at ‪(347) 640-4025 and we may use it on the show. Remember, it’s anonymous—and nothing is too embarrassing!

Production by Chau Tu.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I Have the Curse of the Straight Woman Nov 28, 2021

This week, Stoya and Rich answer a letter from a woman who can’t quit men. Then they hear from a man who is about to have sex for the first time since he lost his wife.

Mentioned in the episode:

She Comes First by Ian Kerner

Slate Plus members get another episode of the How to Do It podcast every Monday. Sign up for Slate Plus now for just $1 for your first month.

***

Read the How to Do It column on Slate here. If you’re in need of sex advice from Stoya and Rich, write in here or leave a voicemail at ‪(347) 640-4025 and we may use it on the show. Remember, it’s anonymous—and nothing is too embarrassing!

Production by Chau Tu.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What Happens After I Fight With My Girlfriend Is … Worrisome Nov 21, 2021

This week, Stoya and Rich answer a letter from a man who’s getting highly aroused at an inopportune time with his girlfriend. Then they hear from a letter writer who wonders what to do about her husband’s strange penis.

Mentioned in the episode:

“Sexual interest as performance, intellect and pathology: A critical discursive case study of dacryphilia”

The Little Death(2014)

Slate Plus members get another episode of the How to Do It podcast every Monday. Sign up for Slate Plus now for just $1 for your first month.

***

Read the How to Do It column on Slate here. If you’re in need of sex advice from Stoya and Rich, write in here or leave a voicemail at ‪(347) 640-4025 and we may use it on the show. Remember, it’s anonymous—and nothing is too embarrassing!

Production by Chau Tu.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I Discovered an Astonishing “Secret” About My Boyfriend Nov 14, 2021

This week, Stoya and Rich answer a letter from a woman who wonders if she got duped by her boyfriend—including feedback from listeners like you. Then they hear from a letter writer who wonders if it’s weird that they hate the most basic form of intimacy there is.

Mentioned in the episode:

“The reasons humans started kissing,” BBC Future, Aug. 15, 2021

Stoya’s How to Do It column on kissing

Slate Plus members get another episode of the How to Do It podcast every Monday. Sign up for Slate Plus now for just $1 for your first month.

***

Read the How to Do It column on Slate here. If you’re in need of sex advice from Stoya and Rich, write in here or leave a voicemail at ‪(347) 640-4025 and we may use it on the show. Remember, it’s anonymous—and nothing is too embarrassing!

Production by Chau Tu.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Big Problem With Well-Endowed Men Nov 07, 2021

This week, Stoya and Rich answer a letter from a woman who wonders if she can do more to accommodate her partner’s, uh, large needs. Then they hear from a man whose wife has a alarming sex drive.

Slate Plus members get another episode of the How to Do It podcast every Monday. Sign up for Slate Plus now for just $1 for your first month.

***

Read the How to Do It column on Slate here. If you’re in need of sex advice from Stoya and Rich, write in here or leave a voicemail at ‪(347) 640-4025 and we may use it on the show. Remember, it’s anonymous—and nothing is too embarrassing!

Production by Chau Tu.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I Saw What My Husband Is Secretly Doing on His Computer Oct 31, 2021

This week, Stoya and Rich answer a letter about a woman who has noticed her husband’s peculiar secret habit on his computer. Then they advise a woman who wants to know when is the right time to disclose her sexual history and preferences.

Mentioned in this episode:

“Why Do People Watch Porn When They’re Not Masturbating,” Mel Magazine.

Slate Plus members get another episode of the How to Do It podcast every Monday. Sign up for Slate Plus now and get $25 off your first year. This special offer is only available until Oct. 31.

***

Read the How to Do It column on Slate here. If you’re in need of sex advice from Stoya and Rich, write in here or leave a voicemail at ‪(347) 640-4025 and we may use it on the show. Remember, it’s anonymous—and nothing is too embarrassing!

Production by Chau Tu.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Truth That Would Devastate My Husband Oct 24, 2021

This week, Stoya and Rich answer a letter from a woman who feels guilty for what she thinks about during sex with her husband. Then they advise a letter writer who doesn’t want to screw up the new sexual opportunity he’s been given by his wife.

Slate Plus members get another episode of the How to Do It podcast every Monday. Sign up for Slate Plus now and get $25 off your first year. This special offer is only available until Oct. 31.

***

Read the How to Do It column on Slate here. If you’re in need of sex advice from Stoya and Rich, write in here or leave a voicemail at ‪(347) 640-4025 and we may use it on the show. Remember, it’s anonymous—and nothing is too embarrassing!

Production by Chau Tu.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I Feel Terrible About What Turns Me On. But It’s So Hot. Oct 17, 2021

This week, Stoya and Rich answer a letter from a woman who feels terrible about what turns her on the most. Then they advise another woman who’s suffering from a problem that people usually think only men have.

Slate Plus members get another episode of the How to Do It podcast every Monday. Sign up for Slate Plus now and get $25 off your first year. This special offer is only available until Oct. 31.

***

Read the How to Do It column on Slate here. If you’re in need of sex advice from Stoya and Rich, write in here or leave a voicemail at ‪(347) 640-4025 and we may use it on the show. Remember, it’s anonymous—and nothing is too embarrassing!

Production by Chau Tu.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Question You Can Never Ask Men on Dating Apps Oct 10, 2021

Slate Plus members get another episode of the How to Do It podcast every Monday. Sign up for Slate Plus now and get $25 off your first year.

This week, Stoya and Rich answer a letter from a woman who wonders if she was wrong for asking a certain question on a dating app. They also advise a letter writer who’s caught her husband cheating online.

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Read the How to Do It column on Slate here. If you’re in need of sex advice from Stoya and Rich, write in here or leave a voicemail at ‪(347) 640-4025 and we may use it on the show. Remember, it’s anonymous—and nothing is too embarrassing!

Production by Chau Tu.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

My Wife’s Devastating Confession About Our Sex Life Oct 03, 2021

Slate Plus members get another episode of the How to Do It podcast every Monday. Sign up for Slate Plus for just $1 for your first month.

This week, Stoya and Rich answer a letter from a man who just found out what his wife secretly thinks of their sex life. Then they respond to an 18-year-old heading off to college with a big question about his first time having sex.

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Read the How to Do It column on Slate here. If you’re in need of sex advice from Stoya and Rich, write in here or leave a voicemail at ‪(347) 640-4025 and we may use it on the show. Remember, it’s anonymous—and nothing is too embarrassing!

Production by Chau Tu.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I Thought I Was Pro-Sex Work Sep 26, 2021

This week, Stoya and Rich answer letters from a woman who thought she was pro-sex work—until her friends started doing it. They also discuss another letter from a woman who is worried about what her boyfriend can’t seem to pull off during sex.

Slate Plus members get another episode of the How to Do It podcast every Monday. Sign up for Slate Plus for just $1 for your first month.

Read the How to Do It column on Slate here. If you’re in need of sex advice from Stoya and Rich, write in here or leave a voicemail at ‪(347) 640-4025 and we may use it on the show. Remember, this is anonymous, and nothing is too small or embarrassing!

Production by Chau Tu.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What I Just Caught My Wife Doing Sep 20, 2021

For launch week only, this Slate Plus episode of How to Do It is free to everyone. Sign up for Slate Plus now so you don’t miss out next Monday.

On this week’s second episode, Stoya and Rich discuss a letter from a man who caught his wife in a compromising position while his friend was visiting.

Read the How to Do It column on Slate here. If you’re in need of sex advice from Stoya and Rich, write in here or leave a voicemail at ‪(347) 640-4025 and we may use it on the show. Remember, this is anonymous, and nothing is too small or embarrassing!

Production by Chau Tu.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Love at First Jizz Sep 19, 2021

This week, Stoya and Rich answer letters from a man who falls in love for a very embarrassing reason, and a woman whose good friend just started a new OnlyFans account—and seems to be targeting all her friends’ husbands for follows.

Slate Plus members get another episode of the How to Do It podcast every Monday. Sign up for Slate Plus for just $1 for your first month.

Read the How to Do It column on Slate here. If you’re in need of sex advice from Stoya and Rich, write in here or leave a voicemail at ‪(347) 640-4025 and we may use it on the show. Remember, this is anonymous, and nothing is too small or embarrassing!

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