Show notes
This episode is all about not living a distracted life.
Doing things with intention and powering through difficult or uncomfortable tasks, rather than putting them off or getting sidetracked.
We are facing more distractions than EVER today so Lindsay is getting to the root of what distractions really are and how we can actually avoid distractions in our lives so we can move forward on things that matter to us and send less time jumping around from thing to thing.
Lindsay talks about how she wanted to learn about our relationships and how distractions pay into them and how they affect them. She admits that this is a work in progress for her, not something that she has mastered.
But that's the point, recognizing what you're currently doing that you want to change, learning from experts about the best ways to do it, then putting an action plan together to make it happen.
Lindsay is sharing all that she's learned about focusing on what's important, having self control to avoid distractions, and how to be happier as a result. How to be awesome at not living a distracted life.
Here are some key points from this podcast:
We are living in the greatest information time ever. We can find things online- so we have less excuses to say "I didn't know how."
Getting ahead with your goals and dreams is not just about making progress towards them and putting your head down and girding hard, it's also about avoiding distractions.
Lindsay talks about podcasts she's done about having a healthy relationship with social media and your phone.. but this takes it a step further.
Whatever it is that you say is important to you in your life- how do you make sure you do those things?
Ok so let's define it.
What is distraction?
The opposite of distraction is traction.
Traction is any action that pulls you towards what you want - something with intent.
Distraction is any action that pulls you away from what you want - often without intent.
This is freeing because it allows you to do what you want to do!!
Let's talk about hobbies and your free time. If you want to play video games or binge watch Netflix, do that! There's nothing wrong with that. Do it in your free time, WITH INTENTION.
Here is what tech does:
It makes us slaves to the "urgent" at the sacrifice of the important when we do this.
2 types of triggers!
External trigger- anything in your environment that distracts you- its not always bad.
An alarm on your phone could remind you to go to the gym.
But a notification could also interrupt quality time.
Thats moving you towards distraction.
Internal trigger- most distraction starts here.
The root cause of why we get distracted is because we are trying to avoid discomfort.
That's the main reason we do most things. You eat when you are hungry, you stop when you are full. You put a jacket on when you are cold, you take it off when you are inside and too hot.
When you are feeling lonely, you check IG.
When you are doing something hard thats tedious, you check the news or the sports scores.
We have to deal with this fact- we are trying to escape something uncomfortable.
If we don't understand this, we will always be distracted:
And learn new methods to cope with it! This is essential for change.
We are so uncomfortable doing nothing, we need some kind of sensation.
It's good to get bored!! This makes us get up and get out and learn new things or discover something new or start a business… that desire for more.
I think the answer is to figure out how to push towards traction not distraction.
If the brain feels discomfort, and wants to avoid it, it forms a habit around this.
We have 2 choices:
We either fix the discomfort or create tactics that we can use for things we can't solve.
One thing that doesn't work is strict removal of the thing completely. For many behaviors this totally backfires. You know when you do a super super restricted diet, then you end up over indulging the other direction? You're releaving the discomfort.
It's all about SELF CONTROL. And that's hard!
So here's the hack- give it 10 minutes. Psychologists call it "surfing the urge." Emotions are like waves… so you can surf the urges. Make yourself just wait 10 minutes. Lindsay talks about doing this when she's going to over eat at night. Try not to give into the initial urge but give it a beat.
So for 10 minutes, feel the sensation, don't judge yourself, try to get back to the task at hand. Don't check your email instead of writing that blog post, just keep powering through for 10 minutes and see how you feel. Just that act of self control will help so much.
You don't have to answer that email or text right away. Because in doing so, you can lose focus all day.
Put your phone on silent or put it away if you can. Or just be able to have it around but not give into the reply of it.
It's great to let your mind wander!
We wrap up talking about how you can have more meaningful and deep relationships without all the distractions.
Let Lindsay know what you thought about this episode and how you are going to live a less distracted life! Ping her on IG @LindsaysCloud.
Thanks for listening!
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