Help Me Be Me

Ep 235: I’m a Failure – a mindset reset Oct 25, 2024

“I’m ugly” “I should be better by now” “I’m a terrible mother” “My relevance is over” “I’m old”… Everybody has these thoughts. They are average. What matters is whether or not you engage with the thoughts and follow their tangent. You can quite literally start thinking ANYTHING repeatedly and you will start to see it as true. There is no such thing as true or not true, only what you experience through your own lens. The way the brain works is via comparison. It’s a threat-calculator – a unique and special one trained on our experiences. But it is not “us” in the bigger sense. “We” are the silent watcher, the presence within that witnesses these thoughts. The moment they occur there’s a choice to be made – you can follow the feeling and invest in the script, like you’re an actor in a play, or you can look at them – step back, and resume a state of non-attachment.

This is an episode all about escaping from thought prison. Have you seen around thoughts yet? This is the goal in this episode. Find this podcast on YouTube here.

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Ep 234: Falling in Love with Potential – Choosing unhealthy partners Oct 10, 2024

A lot of people fall in love with a person they see another person COULD be and not who they currently are. I was this way for a long time and yet I couldn’t see the pattern in my choices. Often we become so attached to a person after seeing their awesome potential and we hold on, despite bad behavior, for that person to reappear. We over-function to help them get somewhere new, thinking we are helping and changing something when we are not.

Often that means living through months or years of bad treatment when the other person is not capable of being kind, loving, receptive, or present with us. Maybe they are in their own world and we are left confused as to why our requests are so unreasonable. You might start to feel like you are crazy, like you are being too demanding, or that is what they make you feel.

It really doesn’t matter what they are really doing or thinking – you may be fixated on that. The most important info is that they are unavailable, not capable, not consistent and you have to accept that at face value. This is what I want to focus on in this episode. How you can move forward knowing this info and how you can avoid this situation in the future. This will hopefully demystify what is happening and why it is happening. And hopefully giving you a path forward in a loop you may be trapped in.

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Nature’s Blend

Go to drmartypets.com/helpmebemefor up to 54% OFF Nature’s Blend and get a free bag of Cod Crispies, their bestselling wild-caught cod skin treats.

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Ep 233: Your Feelings Hurt My Feelings – Breaking Thought Cycles Sep 27, 2024

This is for breaking out of cycles caused by vulnerability and anxiety – whether that’s your own mind or a common interaction with a loved one. What I am talking about are moments when you take another person’s feelings, personally. When we get triggered by their emotional response, we get defensive which creates distance and or hurt. That sequence is what I am creating an intervention around with this episode. This is also about reseating yourself in what I would call neutrality and openness: restoring faith in what is possible for you especially in the face of negative thoughts about yourself and your life. It’s really about redirection after you have what I would call an old record that gets put on the record player that is your mind. What we tend to do is that old dance of pain that takes us to this next emotion, and this next belief, and this next one. Like being in a haunted waltz with a zombie who won’t let go.

So if you have a predictable set of hopeless conversations with a spouse – OR you have a predictable rut of a thought process, yourself – this is for you. This is about wading through the mud of your engrained physical response, because with attention– there is change on the other side. Sending love!

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Ep 232: Guilt – Growing Through It Sep 13, 2024

Guilt is like a gut punch that doesn’t stop. The loss of meaning is like a thick layer of glass in front of your eyes. It’s like a constant reminder that you are not who you aspire to be. Something is not aligned in who you are. There’s also the kind of guilt you feel when you know rationally that you should not feel guilty – like you are betraying a part of yourself that is real and cannot sever an old allegiance.

In this episode, I am going to try and open up some air around the source of your guilt. I cover different kinds of guilt – the kind that results from shame over something you did and also the kind that “doesn’t belong to you” (as with severing unhealthy family relationships). My goal with this episode is for you to be able to see it as an external object–or a symptom, and not identify with it, in the hopes that you can move through it despite the intensity of the pain. My goal for you is to create change in your life and to find meaning. The path back to light and joy or at the very least progress– is with change: growth, context, understanding. If you are in the loop of guilt, step back. There is something yet to untangle. Move toward growth and evolution.

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Ep 231: Putting Down Coping Mechanisms That No Longer Serve You Aug 30, 2024

This is about growing your soul by doing the real work that will advance you. Seeing the muscle that needs work.I’m inviting you to choose to work on a coping mechanism that hurts you. To see around it – separate it from your person, and take apart its inner workings.

I think a lot of people keep themselves small or keep themselves occupied in things like relationships as a means to stave of feelings of pain. The pain results from an original wound that feels so vague and powerful that we stop to look at it. If you have a loop in your life, you might think it’s just “you.” You may have accepted it. But that is because you’re still in it and blinded by it. In order to change, we have to step back and start to work on it in very specific ways. This episode has tools for fostering that.So that we can follow our purest dreams, not the loop of what’s in front of us.

To donate to the amazing charity I mentioned and save some lives of foster kids, visit TheTeenProject.com xo!

Support this week’s sponsors! HiyaWe've worked out a special deal with Hiya for their best-selling children's vitamin. Receive 50% off your first order. To claim this deal you must go to hiyahealth.com/helpmebeme and get your kids the full-body nourishment they need to grow into healthy adults.

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Ep 230: Light Up Your Life and the World Aug 15, 2024

Have you lost a bit of shine and joy? This is a path back to gratitude and hope. This is an energy tuning episode all about restoring limitlessness and optimism on a mindset level but it also relates to being a good person, friend and parent. It’s about being conscious and responsible with your energy and tuning it to support openness and rationality. Never forget: Energy is a chain reaction: what we put out changes others, and also changes what comes our way. Think of yourself like a tuning fork. You resonate with the world around you in whatever way you are filtering your thinking. Let’s be careful and conscious about that – starting right now!

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Ep 229: Curbing Multitasking - A joy tune up Aug 02, 2024

How do you move through life? Is it with a sense of “time unfolds for me” or is it more “Hurry! I need to catch up!” Let’s curate more joy in the world around ourselves and change our perspective toward “life is happening for me, there is enough, no need to hurry.” Another name for this episode was 'a thousand points of light' because we can affect our sum with small tweaks and additions. When we draw boundaries around our time and step back from mentally being two places at once, our entire experience of life changes.

This episode was inspired by my vacation. It’s for enhancing calmness and beauty. My most important observation: how you relate to time has a creative effect on your life and how you experience its sum. Without being half-working on my phone or intensely guided by efficiency, my day has grown years longer.

When we are “in a rush” for a long time– scheduling everything down to the minute and seeing how much we can accomplish in a day, it is a life designed at the cost of yourself. The casualty is your own depth of enjoyment of ALL moments, not just the ones spent multitasking. And that is because your MO really wires everything about your life experience.

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keep your pet happy and healthy. And right now you can save $20 on your first

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Ep 228: Quieting the Inner Committee - Thought Filtration Jul 18, 2024

The inner committee is what I am focusing on in this episode. By that I mean the cast of characters in your mind that voice fears, judgements, criticisms, rules for what you can and will do, and generally limit your beliefs about your life. I sometimes refer to our mind as a stage on which actors perform scenes. “You” – the holistic, reflective self, are not your thoughts but rather a wiser presence. I sometimes refer to this as “the silent watcher” or “inner child.” That awareness takes in all this happening in your body and experiences the blips of energy created by your thoughts. One important note I want to call out – “You” might want something different for your life than your thoughts promote to you. And this episode is about being capable of guiding your life despite the chatter of the mind. Taking steps to move forward, despite them.

The inner committee can be incredibly powerful and fear-inducing. We react to them, which can hinder a lot of change, including positive change. This is about revoking their ability to control you and instead being guided by something deeper – an inner knowing. Who is this for? Anyone who feels they are holding themselves back with rumination, ambivalence, or self-limiting beliefs. Don’t give up – never give up, the story is not over yet! To donate to my friend and the foster kids head to TheTeenProject.com xo!

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Ep 227: At a Breaking Point – A calming episode Jul 06, 2024

If you are feeling pissed off, having angry outbursts, trending toward negativity, and feeling a sense of doom, there’s a likelihood that you are burned out. This is an episode inviting you to step back and recalibrate when “the pot is full,” so to speak. This isn’t about dismantling what’s working if you are currently high functioning and getting shit done. It’s about creating some air or wiggle room in the face of that burned-outness, and with that shifting your direction toward health and positivity. This has tools for focus cleansing and putting our thoughts and reactions in perspective. Some specific tools for codependent friends as well. Sending much love! If you want to check out the book I mentioned you can head here:

https://amzn.to/4cugoll

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Ep 226: Zak Rosen + Making Waves of Positive Change in Your Life Jun 19, 2024

This is a conversation with Zak Rosen of “The Best Advice Show” all about how small acts make massive waves of change outwards. This is a feel-good show all about changes that affect the arc of life: the small, conscious tweaks we make change our trajectory in terms of happiness and overall quality of life. And the advice you hear in this episode is not necessarily what you’d expect–it’s grounded, simple, and life-altering.

If you guys want to hear the episode mentioned when Zak interviewed me on his show, check out the link below:

https://podcasts.apple.com/nz/podcast/expecting-the-opposite-with-sarah-may-b/id1507811918?i=1000485483262

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Ep 225: Stuck in a Relationship You Hate Jun 06, 2024

This is about escaping a relationship that you cannot seem to leave but you know 1000% that you are extremely unhappy staying in it. When we watch ourselves in a state of inaction, we assume it to be your truth. Ambivalence, rumination and a state of paralysis when it comes to a relationship–that you are clearly unhappy in– are very common. This is what I would call an invisible wall made up of the old rules, fears and traumas of your upbringing. Often the ambivalence is rooted in an inability to accept a truth – that we do not align with our cultural upbringing, our parents values, or we have undealt with pain that rests deep within ourselves. When we process these old feelings and separate them from our current wants and values, we can move through them knowing where our hearts truly lie. So if you find that you are spinning and rethinking what is negative about changing, but you are also fully aware that you are totally unhappy in this current relationship – this is an episode for you.

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For more of my work and to make a donation head to YayWithMe.com xo!

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Ep 224: Moving Through Pain Toward Transformation May 23, 2024

This is for seeing a wall or a low point as an opportunity for transformation. This is an episode for moving out of a state of woe. When we surrender and deliberately hold ourselves as we “pass” the pain, this is when new doors open and we grow amazing new capacities.The aim of this episode is to start floating atop top the water versus fighting it, when you’re in a place of resistance and suffering.

Other names for this episode were ‘Being happy when others in your life aren’t’ and ‘Welcoming synchronicity and grace.’ And that is because when we surrender and accept powerlessness, signs begin to come in. I hope this helps you!

Let us all let go. Welcome what is. Hold ourselves through where we are. And with that, allow in the flow of love and trust. Sending love...

The two books I mention in this episode are here:

https://amzn.to/4bQwC7H

https://amzn.to/4bsBNLb

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Ep 223: Relationship Checkup - Is it working or not May 08, 2024

This episode is about taking stock of a relationship and deciding how you feel about it in an honest way. Maybe you’re considering a breakup, or you don’t know that just yet but you’re not happy with how things are. One way to tell how we feel about someone is to examine our own behavior: the things we are doing on a loop. When we can see a fight loop, we can see perhaps we are not accepting the truth of who someone is, or we can see our own unmet needs arising. This is how we move forward and grow up in a sense – by becoming aware.

This for knowing where you stand instead of fighting what is. When we can move from what is, we can honor ourselves AND our relationship! And in some cases that means coming out of the closet on what we truly want. Nothing bad about that – it just is. Accept and welcome it. When we draw boundaries around that concept, we create a life that rewards us.

Caveat: You can’t decide something based on another person’s advice. If you’re not ready for action, simply processing feelings is a great place to start.

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BetterHelp - Get it off your chest, with BetterHelp.Visit BetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMetoday to get 10% off your first month.

Fearless Finance - Visit FearlessFinance.com today. You can chat with a planner for free to make sure it’s a good fit, and you’ll get $50 off your first planning meeting when you use the code HELPMEBEME

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Ep 222: Befriending Yourself + Grounding Confidence Apr 23, 2024

This episode marks 10 years of Help Me Be Me! This is about knowing thyself and feeling grounded and resourced in that self. Being guided by and making decisions from your values, not your weaknesses.

It’s all about “coming home to yourself” as a means to feel grounded: what that means to me, plus tools for that in the face of social pressures and relationships. In moments when you feel hurt, unpopular, clingy or less-than, come back home to a wisdom of self: what do YOU hold to be sacred, cool and interesting? What do you hold to be important in terms of values? Resuming this core relieves us in moments we feel a need to please others or we are changing ourselves out of fear.

I feel the greatest gift you can give yourself is a friendship and bond with yourself. If you’re not there yet, take heart. Sometimes we need some processing of past conflicts for all of us to arrive at action. If something isn’t happening for you, there might be a part of you that has yet to fully arrive.

It’s apt that this episode marks 10 years of podcasting for me. 222 is a sacred number and I invite you to check out Taz Grout’s 222 Foundation, linked below. Thank you all for growing alongside me in this journey! For those who have been listening for that long, what I hope you take away from these episodes is an expansion of self-knowledge and self-compassion.

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Use as directed for relief of nasal congestion, runny nose, sneezing and itchy nose due to allergies.

And in honor of 222, if you want to make a donation to Pam Grout’s amazing daughter’s foundation to further the consciousness of the world, you can head here:

Taz Grout’s 222 Foundation

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Ep 221: Redefining Yourself - Shedding Older Selves Apr 12, 2024

We all grow, mature and become different people, however sometimes we cannot see that change or those around us cannot see it. This is about redefining yourself to yourself. Allowing room to witness yourself, anew. Especially in the face of people who treat us based off an old identity. This episode has exercises to help you see where you are headed and mark the change you’ve made over the past year. It’s also for examining your actions as a means to map out your internal allegiances. Often we cannot see how we truly feel because we get lost in the day-to-day content of powerful or repetitive emotions. The goal for me coming out of this episode is for you to feel as if you were given a new awareness of yourself. One that is positive, clear, and empowered. And that you can see the conscious change you have made in your life.

If you want to know who you are, just look at your physical actions. They are a map to our truth: what we believe, what we are working on, and also how we feel about ourselves. They tell us who we are more than our words, so if you want to learn something new, tune into what has changed. And take heart–change is change! No matter how incremental.

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Ep 220: Remembering Yourself – Trust + Positivity Exercises Mar 28, 2024

Think of this episode as a memory to be conjured. A memory of the truth of yourself: your power and goodness, and that you feel more present on the ride that is your life. It’s easy to live out a perspective fixated on what you haven’t done right or what is just out of reach. To reduce life to transactions versus a felt sense of magic.

This episode is kind of “hippy” in that it’s got some guided imageries. Reason being, a lot of us don’t see the greatness in ourselves unless we are given a powerful mirror. Someone who has witnessed the path we have walked and all that we have grown to become. Often it takes an experience with this kind of person or getting outside of our bubble, to jog this deeper memory of self. A compliment from the right person has the power to inspire us and move us. Through these glimpses, we see a different truth and a more positive version of the world. I wanted to try some visualizations with you today that tap into that knowing, deliberately.

Unless we curate a deeper perspective of ourselves and humanity, we can miss it for years at a time. We get conditioned into reaching toward stuff, or we get stuck in a powerful current of work that leaves us in an energy saving mode. My goal is that you tune into a sense of fullness with this episode and a deeper connection to the person you have become.

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Ep 219: Designing a Supportive Life – Living from Love Mar 13, 2024

This is about having a loving mindset as we move through our life. What does that mean? It means feeling complete and having an inner sense of safety. From here we do not feel lack when we interact with others. Nothing is “at us” and even when someone does mean us harm, it does not land. This is the energetic state where we can be the most effective, creative, wise. So really the question becomes – how do we deliberately CURATE this state in our lives? I have some tuning exercises for this in particular as well as some reflection exercises.

When we can embody love and kindness, we can light up the world, we can create limitlessly, we can see all potential.

In this episode, I’m going to be talking about these two things that seem in opposition: coming from an energy of wholeness and fullness–tuning yourself to that. And then also shoring up what I call the holes in the boat, or checking what might need boundary work in your life. In other words, making sure you are being deliberate in designing a life that is conducive to a life full of love and peace. Byron Katie calls this “loving what is” – which is EXACTLY what it’s like! Fully embracing and welcoming the truth of what is, including what supports you and makes you feel safe, and also accepting what does not. From here we can build a life that is in accordance with our values.

Sending so much love! To support the show, you can make a donation at YayWithMe.com or visit me on Patreon.

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AquaTru water purifiers come with a 30-day Money-Back Guarantee and they also make great gifts!

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Ep 218: Humanely Navigating Long-term Relationships Feb 28, 2024

There are many phases to a long-term partnership – many moons. When it comes to long-term partnerships, we are traveling through a human existence which includes dealing with that pain of our own identity. That pain then interacts and affects our partner, which can define the kinds of conflicts we perceive are happening.

This is about how to humanely deal with the pain of miscommunication and unmet needs in long-term, intimate relationships. Many relationship issues don’t have “correct” solutions. They result from being different people with different needs and different styles of communication. The goal then becomes to act humanely as we deal with that fact – including toward ourselves. This episode is about having that goal of doing no harm and also being able to step back from our own programming. Whereas when we are choosing a partner we must be incredibly stringent in our standards, once we have chosen one, we can become accountable enough to challenge ourselves. We can practice acceptance of who the other person is and also look at how we choose to change.

This is for about working with our own ego wounds as they occur, and also stepping back from old chain reactions. It’s a reminder that marriage can be hard and often the best we can do is come from love and respect, for ourselves and others.

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Ep 217: Creating Meaning in Your Life – Making the Space for Joy Feb 14, 2024

So much of our ability to enjoy and live a rich life comes down to our frame: how we interpret the ingredients and recognize “what is.” We also expect a TON from ourselves: We are constantly lamenting what we didn’t do, the thing that we failed at, how we fucked up this or that thing in our life, where we are still falling short. We have a very inhumane set of expectations around what we ask of ourselves: I am talking about overworking, overscheduling, overdemanding. At the cost of…happiness.

A lot of people believe they are supposed to continue to chase and muscle through work all the time. And that work will always come first and SHOULD always come first.

Like everything else should be scheduled in between all that striving and it will always come at a much lower priority. Work-first is a cultural norm that many have unconsciously accepted without considering whether or not that supports your truest goals. This is an episode aimed at asking what your authentic hierarchy is and then placing time and emphasis on those things.

So it’s for taking note of what is meaningful and then consciously putting time, focus and more energy toward those things. Which includes fighting against the current that is our natural energy saving tendencies. Because we are so inundated with stuff, it’s really hard to stay focused on what we really actually want to do! It’s harder than shutting off. So hopefully this will help with that as well.

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Ep 216: Beautiful Humanity – Regrowing a sense of vitality and inspiration Feb 01, 2024

If you have a sense of ambivalence or blah–like you’re staring at a white wall, but on an emotional or spiritual level. I wanted to write an episode that reminds us all of our humanity and what that feels like and looks like. This is about regrowing and regenerating our vitality by listening inward and channeling our creative, original voices. Allowing yourself to be “original” and not what everyone else wants you to be. Often we lose sight of who that person is, as we grow into adults and we do all the things we “should” for a very long time.

I think a lot of us either grow numb or we feel a pervasive sense of dread and exhaustion when we move through a routine set of adult functions, day after day. It can start to feel like we just need to be better at swallowing it or medicating it versus tuning in to see what is starving us. I am really talking to my type-A friends out there and also my creative friends out there.

Something I notice is that many of us feel a sense of anxiety over all that we have on our plates and the neverendingness of it. And what we often do to deal with that anxiety is take meds to allow ourselves to do more of it. Like this will fix that pain. But that is not a positive, holistic or long-term solve. What I am inviting you to do with this episode is try rewarding that inner self and seeing how that improves all factors in your life – creative, calmness and also clarity.

This process of reconnecting with that inner self takes time and commitment but it IS important! It’s important in how it corresponds to the vastness and scale that is the quality of your life. If we were to stand at the end of your life, how colorful is it? (Not from a stuff and literal places you’ve travelled perspective – but in a depth of self, kind of way?) Like the way you talk and write about your experiences – the way you report them to others: are you skimming the surface and checking boxes? Or do you feel fully alive and like you are savoring this ride? Let’s fucking savor, man. Let ourselves be based on who we would like to be and not who everyone else seems to be on social media. I for one, forgot who that self was for a long time. And I was in a routine of checking boxes.

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Ep 215: Professional Mojo – Renewing Energy and Motivation When in a Rut Jan 18, 2024

This is for anyone who is feeling professionally or creatively stuck, like you have no prospects and like you don’t have anything going for you. It’s also for if you don’t feel mentally or emotionally shiny which adds to a sense of inaction. This episode is mostly tools for kicking off a change in that mental state. Maybe you’ve been laid off and you are feeling the lack of traction/prospects as a reflection of your talents/merits. If that’s true for you, know that a lot of people are looking for work right now and there are lots of weird effects from the pandemic and also the strikes.

This is really about creating an energy shift – a way to change your relationship to life and all that’s in it. This is how we can see the same room anew. Doors and windows open all the time based on our energy. So how do we get the ball rolling on all that energy shifting? Especially when we are in a rut. Sending energy and love!!

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3 very ripe bananas
1 melted stick of butter
A bit more than 3/4 cup sugar
2 large eggs
1 ½ cups flour
1 tsp baking soda
Large pinch of salt
½ tsp vanilla extract

Mix all together and then bake at 350 degrees F for just under 1 hour. And smile.

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Ep 214: A New Year Fresh Start – Personal Inventory Reflection Jan 04, 2024

This is my yearly new year reflection style episode where we take stock and celebrate what we have accomplished in the year prior as well as start this year off on the right foot. In this episode I will ask you to ponder - What would you like to change? What would you like to let go of? And what would you like to invite forth as you move through the year?

As you listen to this episode please take note of where you are energetically and respect that season. I am in a winter state, coming out of sickness. All stages are good and valuable in how they set a stage in our cycle: all supports our greatest form of thriving.

My wish for you this year is that you are more able to enjoy your life and live it authentically. We are so primed to be searching for something: “I need X. I should post about X. What are other people doing? Should I be doing that, too?” We are almost automated by our devices and technology to do so. This ordinary stuff of life is pretty great and wonderful, just as it is. If you can tune into the simple moments with your energy: stop that busy searching loop and step outside of it. Maybe quiet life is relaxing and lovely and we should enjoy all that we have, right now.

Sending love to you all and happy new year!

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Ep 213: Gratitude + Grounding - Practices for moving through the holidays Dec 20, 2023

This episode is my invitation to reset as you move through holiday functions. What does that mean? Not getting sucked into family drama and also keeping your eyes on what’s important: feeling a sense of gratitude and being able to savor all that you have.

Holidays can be heavy for a lot of people. I want to invite you to tune into joy and optimism. As you move through the end of the year, this is an episode with tools for grounding and setting boundaries. It’s also for journaling and recalling what is most important and what is actually a total waste of time.

I’d call this episode a meditation or reflection of sorts in that it’s about resetting how we think about life and what we prioritize. And also just feeling grateful. Never a bad time to do that! Sending so much love! And to check out the book by Rick Rubin, here is a link!

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Ep 212: Self-forgiveness – Releasing a regret you are holding onto Dec 07, 2023

This is for anyone who is holding onto a regret or pain that affects their identity in the present: something that you do not want to take into the new year. When something is bugging us about the past, we are really just pausing a part of the present and living through a warped memory. Sometimes that is because we feel that this will somehow give us what we deserve, like an unconscious act of penance. And sometimes it’s because we are twitching around this thing– almost like a muscle spasm. When we just can’t seem to face a regret in an objective and open way, we cannot process and release it.

So this is my invitation to release the spasm! Pop that zit! Let’s break open that thing whatever it is and work it out so that we can release it. A lot of the time these things will inform the next steps and that will be a gift. Don’t fear it, welcome it, it actually sets us free. I say that because SOOO many of the things that scare us from the past are actually really old fears that are not current or do not belong to the present. Like they are the fears of a 9-year-old self. Or the fears of a very sad child. Which takes me to an important caveat: approach this episode safely. I don’t want to make you triggered, overwhelmed or unstable. The holidays are already a big and heavy season because of that recurring marker that is this time of year.

For you I want to remind you of therapy– a great resource to process sadness and grief caused by the echo of unprocessed loss. Often our bodies are in a static state of “but I don’t want this to be true.” And this is just an echo of that- like a splinter that now has formed scar tissue over it.

For all of you I say walk toward the conflict within and let it be seen as a gift of insight and growth. It will be if you choose to see it as an opportunity.

For more of my work and to make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com xo

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Ep 211: Creative Work Refresh – Tapping into your creative voice + letting it flow Nov 21, 2023

This is for anyone who is looking to be inspired and get closer to their unconscious goals as an artist and creator. I am trying to move closer to my artist self which has been a beautiful process of reuniting with the child that lives inside. One aspect of that process involves really letting go of what other people think is right and asking instead, “what do I have to say?” Removing the measures that pressure your ego to strive in ways that feel in opposition to who you are. I have some practices in this episode for you that are hopefully going to tune your being toward the best form of your creative projects that are ready to be expressed. I highly recommend you practice a meditation of some sort before you begin any creative work- for me it's incredibly helpful!

This episode is aligned with the teachings of The Artist’s Way, Rick Rubin’s new book The Creative Act and Inner Work. Putting links to them because I love them so!

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Ep 210: Letting Go of a Small Self - Tools for openness as we enter the holidays Nov 09, 2023

This is an episode inviting you to shed one part of an old, wounded self. A chip on your shoulder that exists currently. To start to see yourself as not small, not trivial, but strong and confident. When we get into a more open, loving groove in our lives, we can grow our power. This is an episode for reorienting your energy toward that which expands: Conditioning yourself toward a target, especially as we move toward the end of the year. Together, let’s ask: how do I want to feel and what do I want to bring forth.

I think of our actions and intentions as echoes that ripple outwards into our future and also into the world. So let’s begin to filter that as we move through the end of this year: what will I create in my life? What is no longer serving me?

This episode has lots of tools for stepping back from feelings of less-than and also bringing out the love you already have inside.

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Ep 209: A Thriving Design – Building the Life Conditions for Happiness Oct 25, 2023

This is about building a mental sense of sanctuary from the outside in and the inside out. This is aimed at moving through your life in a state of trust and openness: teaching yourself out of self-limiting thought loops and responses. One thing I’ve been thinking about a lot lately is the importance of our conditions. They very much co-create our lives in that they create the factors we have bandwidth to respond to. What conditions are you being subjected to in your day-to-day life? How can we become conscious of them and begin to set higher goals in this area? All change in life begins with a goal. Once you set it we are already moving toward it.

A life that is conducive to happiness and serenity and success really comes down to curating the ingredients that allow for that to happen. Often what stops that from being possible is small thinking (stopping ourselves from striving) or one negative factor like a bad relationship or an unhealthy work environment. So how can we create a life of happiness, harmony, inspiration and luxury? If you feel like you could use a cleanse or a boost in this area this one’s for you.

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Ep 208: Confronting Big Life Changes: Separation, divorce or letting go of an addiction Oct 11, 2023

This is for anyone who is wants to confront what could be a major life change like a separation, a divorce, or perhaps letting go of an addiction. This is to enable you to do some processing in your own head – not for confronting another person. I know these are disparate types of changes, but I think they are similar processes – in that we often feel like we cannot possibly do it. We cannot possibly let go of something that has kept us safe in a routine for so long. That has helped us create a sense of control or normalcy. But if you are intrigued by this episode, I am guessing that some part of you wants to explore an answer and to be at least able to fully do that without holding yourself back/hiding. This is about letting go of FEAR as a process of willful blindness and instead taking the stigma out of thinking through all sides of a future decision. The goal: moving through hard shit with love in your heart – for others, and for yourself, and being able to welcome the truth of how you feel. This is how we ultimately create healthy boundaries and make the future new. When we hide or ignore problems, we create more drag on our life and also often make problems bigger than they have to be.

Regardless, I hope this helps you get more intuned with how you feel about something in your life, whether or not the situation changes or stays exactly as its been. Sending love!

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Ep 207: The Long Game – Healthy Boundaries for Complicated Arrangements Sep 27, 2023

This is for issues related to couples or former couples who are bound together by some means – whether that be a business, children, or a living circumstance. OR perhaps you are in a long-term relationship that is no longer healthy or loving that you are choosing to remain in, for a particular reason. This is for navigating from an empowered and compassionate position, negotiating voicing your needs when they might conflict with the needs or wishes of the other.

This is for getting to the truth of the experience – seeing what needs boundary work, and also what is outside of your control. A lot of our pain comes from resisting something that simply needs processing/to move through our body.

The goal of this episode is to give you a change of perspective so you can act from a place of agency and honesty. Sending love, friends. Take heart…Life is long and complicated, it has many seasons – things will continue to change, so leave room for that.

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Ep 206: Not Falling Into Someone Else – Staying confidently yourself in relationships Sep 15, 2023

Relationships are very difficult because we get lost in them: they can overtake our sense of self, especially if that relationship is long term and we don’t have a lot of contact with others outside of the relationship. This is a reminder to come back into your own shoes – if we tip off balance we start to default to what someone else wants or what we think they want us to do. To the other person, this can also feel like we don’t respect ourselves.

I use this metaphor often for relationships but they’re like a rubber band is around both people and we have to keep it taught by walking together, but separately. There should be equal and voluntary gift giving/taking, and if that balance has been tipped and things are growing lopsided, the most important thing you need to do is register and react to that truth.

This episode has tools for getting back in touch with your sense of self and also tools for setting healthy boundaries, if you are in a situation where the other person is encouraging the enmeshment.

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Ep 205: Course Correcting - Taking an inventory of change Aug 29, 2023

How we relate to our life and what it contains is always being renegotiated and that is positive and healthy. Sometimes our priorities change or our needs change. Or areas of friction are notifying us that we are ready to change. This episode is about course correcting: looking at areas of feedback or friction in your own life – and also those that arise in relationships. It’s for taking an inventory of any negative trends that perhaps aren’t serving you. Course correction is really another term for intentionality.

This is for reorienting your path toward what you want, including things like autonomy and balance. This is related to your relationship with your life, and your relationship with others – so I have some tools around codependency.

This is inspired by several letters I’ve gotten where people say they have a problem, that they are a certain way and they end up with a certain result, and how that can feel defeating. And I wanted to address that by saying this is the beginning of change! It’s an invitation. Life is forever a process, which is the fun of it. Place this frame around all work you may be doing: this feedback is helping us get where we want to go. There is no such thing as “this is the way I am” because we are always in motion.

Sending love and to see any more of my work or make a donation you can head to YayWithMe.com xo!

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Ep 204: Over-Giving in Relationships: A Codependency Workshop Aug 17, 2023

If you are a caregiver type or your relationship is somewhat uneven, this is an episode aimed at looking inward. It’s for seeing your role in how the imbalance is created. TBC, this is about becoming aware. Not making big moves or changes. Just simple curiosity and awareness. This is an episode that is going to challenge you!

There’s this totally unconscious thing that happens as you are revealed next to someone. We start to feel vulnerable and with that, we seek control. This is when we start to do more and give more as a means of feeling more secure. It’s to abate feelings of “less-than.”

If you are someone who gets too wrapped up in the thoughts or feelings of others then I think this episode will resonate with you. This also extends to feeling like you need others to act a certain way, or feeling like you are doing it all and the other person in your relationship is not doing enough. In other words, getting stuck in a caregiver role or a role where you are the one who is overactive, and they are the one who is under-active.

What it really comes down to is not being able to accept the truth of someone as they are. In that denial there is some overcompensation that occurs which leads to feeling really angry at them for not being the way you want them to be.

So that’s where this episode is focused! For more of my work or to make a donation you can head to YayWithMe.com

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Ep 203: A Personal Check-in: Where do I stand + where am I going? Aug 01, 2023

This podcast is a reminder to come back to the best of you–the best thoughts, the best energy, the best focus. It’s somewhat a reflection episode: a time to get right with yourself and get tuned. There is nothing wrong or lessor about the life you have chosen – it is important to know and embrace that self. To see your decisions as founded on the past you have lived.

Make your life, your mission and your focus about what is meaningful to you. Do not make it a reaction to others. Know where you stand and where you’re going. Welcome that feedback around what isn’t working, and what is. This will set us free from false missions.

This episode is also to tune your energy if you have gotten into a groove of feeling less-than/exhausted/a victim. Or simply less than grateful. The tools in this episode will also remind you of how to jump what I would call energetic channels. It’s super easy to fall into a groove of feeling a particular way, day after day. To forget glee and optimism. It becomes an addiction of sorts–stress, depression and anger feed themselves. But we can remember how to feel another way and resume that feeling of excitement and gratitude. Ready to welcome something new and great.

Support this week’s sponsor! Hello Fresh!

Go to HelloFresh.com/helpmebeme50 and use code helpmebeme50 for 50% off plus free shipping!

To check out a book by Dr. Joe Dispenza, you can click here.

And to check out the art and work of my friend who passed away check here.

Sending my love to all of you out there! Looking for more? Visit me at YayWithMe.com

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Ep 202: Tapping Into Your Dreamer: Big You and Little You Jul 19, 2023

This is a motivation-based episode for creative individuals. What is that thing you really, genuinely want but some part of you is halfway trying to let it slip away? It’s that weird thing we do – we decide to forget. It’s related to subconscious fears but also an energy-saving setting that we tend to fall into because we are quite literally exhausted and distracted by external alerts, haptics, notifications and bright interface lights. We basically live with slot machines in our hands. The mental tank is tapped by regular, everyday functioning so the glucose is short.

To really start to change our habits in favor of what we deeply want, sometimes we steer our lives by watching our feet walk in a new direction, despite our brain.

This is all about what I’m calling The Two You’s – the dreamer and the worrier, and how we can really look at ourselves from outside ourselves in order to make the right decisions and investments in life. Because a lot of what guides us is a sense of habit.

Here are the links I mentioned, the first being Adam Grant’s Ted podcast called Rethinking (former sponsor of the show).

And the fiction book I am enjoying called “Waiting for the Barbarians.”

And last the Rick Rubin interview with Trent Reznor which speaks to showmanship.

And lastly, to support my work and make a donation head to YayWithMe.com xo!

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EP 201: Working With the Energy of Scarcity - Choosing fulfillment Jul 05, 2023

Do you feel you’re out of time, that there are not enough resources, or that you have to overdeliver because you are not keeping up? This is for anyone who is pervasively focusing on what they need and lack over what they have and what is bountiful.

This is an episode about ways to be more conscious, SLOW DOWN, and really deliberately move your body and mind and energy into a state of trust. Trust in self. Trust in time. Trust in the universe and in your safety. Maybe everything is just fine and perfect, as it is now.

A lack/scarcity mentality is something we may have developed at a young age that we can’t stop flexing as adults. Like a hamster gathering seeds from our food bowl and hoarding in a corner. This is a bad habit and a perspective that is self-inflicted, so the good news is we can teach ourselves out of it.

This episode is dedicated to Little Richard, graffiti artist known by the name of XPRES. My first crush. Always true to himself. He recently passed away, very unexpectedly. This was already and episode I was writing but his death definitely brought this into sharper focus.

Sending love to all of you. If you want to make a donation you can head to YayWithMe.com xo!

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Ep 200: Getting Back Into the Energy of Limitlessness: Mental Tuning Exercises Jun 20, 2023

Everything we live is either a bad habit or a good habit. What are you rehearsing feeling?

This is for remembering a sense of limitlessness, and by that I mean the perspective of openness and optimism. We all have days like that – when we can see “wow, anything is possible and I am capable of anything!” When we feel our best, most confident and we feel strongly that the universe is on our side. Yet we can also fall into grooves of feeling small, limited and put upon. But the good news is we can jump out of that energy by reminding ourselves that the former exists. It’s a memory of reality that we can resume.

So my hope with this episode is that you wilk really remember how that feels – to live in an awareness of your own limitlessness.

For more of my work and to make a donation head to Yay With Me! xo

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Ep 199: Healing from Choosing Bad Relationships: Coming Back Home to Yourself Jun 06, 2023

This is about codependency and how it can make it hard to choose right. This is aimed at changing the goal you have in your search for love.

This is for anyone who has a habit of choosing bad relationships and therefore they feel like they cannot be happy. Maybe you have a pattern of super meh relationships and you don’t really know if you like the other person, or maybe you have a pattern of really legit terrible relationships where you are chosen by that other person and they adore you, but you find again and again they are a mess and your job is to clean them up and beg for tiny crumbs of getting your needs met.

A lot of the time when we grow up with dysfunction and chaos, we find that we are unable to judge the other people we meet because we don’t have a connection to our inner compass. And we are struggling to feel safe, so we constantly focus on the others around us. As we get older we are still in this state of reacting to everything around ourselves. And as a way to get relief from our anxiety, we help and soothe others. We build them up, fix them and make them our project. When someone sees beauty and greatness in us and we share a connection, the pain goes away and we fall deeply in love. But this is a love that depletes us – we are constantly trying to come back to that feeling of intoxication: the moment when we were seen, loved unconditionally, and the other person made all the pain go away. But instead, we find that we are still working and working for crumbs.

If this sounds like you – and perhaps you are aware of it, and sick of it, and thinking you cannot ever find love, know that that thinking is not helpful or functional. And it’s not true. It’s just where you are right now, but that can change. You have to actively want to change that – to see the issue at the root and work on it from there.

This one’s for Aubrey.

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LifeMD is the simplest way to get the healthcare you need, where and when you need it. Become a LifeMD member today for on-demand video visits with a doctor, unlimited messaging with your LifeMD care team, and so much more. Membership plans start at a little more than a dollar a day, so don’t wait.

Visit lifemd.com/HelpMeBeMe to get started, and experience the difference of virtual healthcare.

To make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com xo!

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Ep 198: Fear of Conflict: Getting comfortable voicing your needs in your relationship May 24, 2023

This is about growing comfortable asking for what you want, and also comfortable when someone else does not give that to you. Really stepping back in that moment and accepting that at face value. Not taking another person personally and also not getting pulled into inner narratives around their response can result in a total night and day outcome in how you experience your life. This is also about setting healthy boundaries in relationships specifically in how you demand good treatment for yourself. I would say this episode may resonate more with those who consider themselves recovering codependents, like myself.

Standing up for yourself and your needs is an important habit to keep, so you can keep yourself and your relationship safe. I don’t mean that everything has to be a fight– this is not about focusing on the bad things over the good things. This is really about taking the stigma out of bringing up how you’d like to be loved and cared for so you can continue to be healthy in your relationship.

Many issues that come up in our intimate relationships are co-created by the fears and unmet needs of our past. This episode will also give you some awareness around taking in the other person’s response, so you don’t take it personally if/when they respond badly to voicing personal issues. Because often half of what another person perceives is their projection of their own past unmet needs.

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Ep 197: Creative Power: Fully Tapping Into Your Creative Voice May 09, 2023

This is an episode all about tuning into your authentic self, the practice of play and having fun for the sake of strengthening your creative muscles.

You can curate an inner state that allows you to tap into your creativity, intuition and joyful presence so you can channel your authentic creative voice. This is a reservoir that exists at all times, and you can draw upon it if you exercise these muscles and make it a consistent practice. This is also about creating an inner hierarchy in that it enhances the way you look at the world and everything in it.

We create the world and future we want to see. What are you inviting? And follow-up question, is it hindered by unconscious fear and resistance? SO much of what stops us from success in areas we want to pursue are unseen blocks. Old fears that we think don’t mean much to us but in our behaviors they do.

We very much want the average of our life to be made up of things that are excellent and inspiring. When all that we take in is creative, inspiring, and artful, this becomes the platform from which we launch. It’s our “raw material.”

We create a world for ourselves with not only what we choose to focus on, but also the energy and perspective we curate, the people we surround ourselves with, the content we ingest, and the level we hold ourselves to in our personal bar. Never forget that you can boost that world and make it reflective of all that you love.

This is dedicated to Rick Rubin - we are preaching a lot of the same messages. Love your new book and I recommend it to everyone!

To get the amazing book by Rick Rubin:

The Creative Act

To support this week’s sponsors:

Native Sunscreen

Give your skin the protection it deserves with Native’s mineral Sunscreens! Go to NativeDeo.com/HelpMe, or use promo code helpme at checkout, to get 20% off your first order!

LifeMD

LifeMD is the simplest way to get the healthcare you need, where and when you need it. Become a LifeMD member today for on-demand video visits with a doctor, unlimited messaging with your LifeMD care team, and so much more. Membership plans start at a little more than a dollar a day, so don’t wait. Visit to get started, and experience the difference of virtual healthcare. LifeMD.com/HelpMeBeMe

For more of my work and to make a donation head to YayWithMe.com xo!

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Ep 196: Curating the Space to Know What’s Important Apr 25, 2023

What is the most important ingredient for living a happy life? Knowing what you want. This is an episode aimed at giving you awareness and intention: making the space to be able to tell how you feel while you live your life.

This is for burnout. Exhaustion. And not being sure you’re happy with where you are and what you’re doing. Know that the little maneuvers go a long way: changing how you invest 5 minutes here and there can alter how you feel about your entire life. Once we have an awareness of what we value, space opens up for those things to flower with simple honesty and intention.

To support this week’s sponsors please check out:

Songfinch.com

The cost for a personalized song is $199, and let me tell you it is worth every penny!

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I shop here for all my probiotics and vitamin supplements !

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Sign up for a free trial today and discover the joy of speaking Spanish, French, Italian, German, Japanese, Chinese, Korean and many more languages like a local. Use the promo code HELPMEBEME to get up to $200 off on any language.

Visit rocketlanguages.com to get started today!

And to see more of my work or make a donation you can head to YayWithMe.com xo!

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Ep 195: Breathing Through the Discomfort of Imposter Syndrome Apr 11, 2023

Remember that everyone feels a sense of self-doubt and that can actually be a sign you’re pushing yourself to grow. We can help ourselves to curate an inner reservoir of “I got this” by using thought-hacks and mental work-arounds. This is how we choose to widen or our locus of control: it’s a subtle shift toward feeling we are riding the wave versus being pummeled by it. It’s all about mentally moving ourselves to the top of the wave that is life and fear.

My goal is for you to leave this episode with an increased sense of risk tolerance and have a few work arounds in the moments you suffer from a feeling of lack/imposter syndrome. Never forget – some of the most outwardly successful people in the world are utterly miserable. Happiness and self-love are things we curate from the inside and they emanate outwards. They’re not created from outside conditions. It all starts with a choice – to make the inside be the truest metric of success.

I invite you to ask yourself – “How do I want to feel?” Inspired. Confident. Self-loving. Self-forgiving. I want to be always okay, no matter what anyone else says, and no matter what I have “won” in my life. I am enough as I am.

Sending so much love friends.

And to support this week’s sponsor, please check out Native Sunscreen!

Give your skin the protection it deserves with Native’s mineral Sunscreens! Go to www.NativeDeo.com/HelpMeBeMe or use promo code helpmebeme at checkout, to get twenty 20% off your first order.

For more of my work you can head to YayWithMe.com xo!

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Ep 194: Turning Inward - A Path to Confidence, Creativity and Excellence Mar 28, 2023

The energy inside creates what you see outside. What are you putting out to the world with your energy? That’s coming right back into you, creating your life experience. Something I’ve been doing lately to really self-examine and rise about my own smallness, is what I’ll call turning inward. When I hate on something or criticize a person in my mind, I do a turnaround: I look at that reaction and examine it like it is targeted at myself, so I can feel what I am creating. If you find yourself being critical, it’s usually coming from fear and judgement in you that is hurtful all-around. The reason to do this process of turning things inward is everyone wins! You win: your life and happiness benefit but also the world wins. Not to mention, it creates a totally different world via your perception.

This is an episode for anyone who wants to grow in the direction of more whole, less needy and less insecure. Growth is a great project to have, and one that is lifelong. It’s something we can do incrementally – with super tiny but deliberate thought-hacks. Regardless, make sure you’re always giving yourself mental space to focus for yourself for growth. In your capacity, in your compassion, in your maturity.

Sending love to all of you and if you’d like to support our sponsor this week while becoming a better person, check out Headspace!

Headspace has helped me and more than 100 million people worldwide. They can help you too! For a limited time, all of you can try Headspace free for 30 days by going to Headspace.com/HelpMeBeMe

You won’t find this offer anywhere else! This is not something they normally do. Check out Headspace.com/HelpMeBeMe

The Byron Katie book I mentioned in this episode can be found here:

https://amzn.to/3FXc53G

And to find more of my work or make a donation you can head to YayWithMe.com xo!

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Ep 193: Getting in the Energy Path of Change Mar 14, 2023

This is an episode that creates a very gentle initiation of a change in your life. A change of lifestyle, a change of perspective, a change of overall bar, and ultimately a change of epic and wonderful proportions. It’s all about getting on the level with yourself and then getting all the ducks in a row. I look at this as the first stage of building momentum toward something big and great like a paradigm shift.

This is about getting literal about something you want to change: really visualizing it while also letting go of the energy of struggle. Struggles that result from fear or the struggles that result from impatience and muscling toward a goal.

This is aimed at allowing you to set (a seemingly) lofty goal and then “getting right with yourself.” By that I mean really looking at where you are and what needs to be done.

When you can state an intention from a place of truth and full transparency, everything aligns. The key in this is really meaning and letting go of how it will happen or if it will happen. Just saying “I choose this.” It starts with that. What will you choose?

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Here’s the quit smoking book "Alan Carr’s Easy Way" – if you’re addicted to something, read it or any of the other Alan Carr editions. If you already read it and didn't quit, read it again! I had to read it a few times.

https://amzn.to/3TvFsjv

And here are the episodes I mentioned on boundary setting:

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/help-me-be-me/id895918183?i=1000535368733

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/help-me-be-me/id895918183?i=1000532339844

And here’s a great book all about staying curious and pursuing your own excellence – I can’t stop recommending it!! It’s “The Artist’s Way.”

https://amzn.to/3FkuaIM

For more of my work or to make a donation you can head to YayWithMe.com xo!

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Ep 192: Changing Your Life: Remembering a sense of possibility Feb 28, 2023

Never forget that change is possible and at any point in time. This is an episode for anyone who is feeling a bit stagnant or perhaps uninspired, so-so, bored, or stuck.I think sometimes when we get depressed we don’t even notice. Because in your conscious mind, you can easily distract and get into your phone, the limitless options on streaming, or busy yourself with work. If you’re unsure, you can look to your behavior as a way to discern whether or not you are happy and thriving. Are you not interested in doing much? Are you neutral on many things? Do you feel like a blank piece of paper? If you are happy and thriving, you will feel your aliveness: you feel energized and ready to go when you wake up. It’s like a feeling of excitement for life. If you’d like to get more of that, this is an episode for you.

With this episode, I really wanted to paint the picture of how change can happen. It can happen today. It doesn’t need to be hard, but when we get into grooves of feeling hopeless we think that it’s too hard. We start to focus on the wrong things – suddenly we are looking down at our feet saying, “I don’t like where they’re standing.” This kind of thinking is just wasted energy. Look at where you want to go.

Let’s tune the engine!

To support of sponsor this week, please checkout and download Headspace! The best meditation app ever! You can go to www.headspace.com/helpmebeme to get Headspace free for 30 days!

For more of my work and to make a donation you can go to YayWithMe.com xo!

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Ep 191: The Roles We Play + how they encode us with meaning Feb 14, 2023

Roles! What do I mean by that: I mean unspoken hierarchies, relational patterns, engrained and felt archetypes that our family, friends and coworkers reinforce and we reinforce in how we interact with them. This episode is a bit meta. What do I mean by that? It looks at implied and non-verbal communication that creates a lot of the feelings and manifestations in your person via your relationships. So much of communication is non-verbal and implied with tone, delivery, physical cues, subtext, or plays off contextual meaning. We are reading our “place” in a particular situation at the same time as we are dictating our place by how we set boundaries, what we tolerate and how we react to others. This episode is not about dissecting how those situations occur – it’s more a reflection exercise for you to examine the role you have taken on in any given relationship and consider whether or not you want to shift it. We control so much with how we choose to dance in a set of given rhythms.

So this is an invitation to examine the relationships in which you play a role that is not bringing out your best, most joyful and positive self. Maybe it’s in your family of origin. Maybe it’s at work with your coworkers. Maybe it’s in your new family unit. Or a friend group. Regardless we can change everything just with how we covet and respect ourselves!

To read more about how family systems work/manifest, you can check out these books:

https://amzn.to/3IlYDYW

https://amzn.to/3lD7igt

For more about setting boundaries you can check out

https://amzn.to/40NADoG

For some studies around eating disorders and the interactivity of family dynamics you can check out

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5633277/

https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2016.02046/full

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/when-food-is-family/201204/issues-in-attachment-may-contribute-eating-disorders

For more of my work and to make a donation you can head to YayWithMe.com xo!

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Ep 190: Self-Regulation - Tools for calming anxiety and fear forecasting Feb 01, 2023

Becoming the expert on you. There’s an optimal range of functioning that we want to stay within in order to enjoy our lives and bring all of our selves “into the room.” When we get tipped in the direction of feeling too hurried or too sluggish, that is something that we can learn to recognize and then regulate– just like that dial that turns the heat up or down in your home.

Why? Because the truth is – everything can be simple and your body can remain calm. No matter the situation, it will happen one minute at a time. We are only in the moment we are living right now and to approach that from a place of serenity will allow us to honor our truth at any given time.

I hope you enjoy this and for more of my work you can head to YayWithMe.com xo!

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Ep 189: Self-Compassion – Untraining unhelpful thought patterns Jan 18, 2023

This is for anyone who struggles with thoughts that are self-critical and deactivating. Our goal with this episode is beginning to teach ourselves to not attach or engage with the thoughts that aren’t serving us, and more importantly – stopping ourselves in the process of scripting out narratives that create negative future outcomes. This is really about practicing non-reactivity and non-judgment in the face of thoughts or feelings. And to do that we have to recognize when it’s happening to us and rehearse a new process. We can retrain our brain and reset the grooves that have set in. A lot of the pain we experience in life is the pain we tell ourselves to feel - including when it comes to feeling bad about ourselves.

This was a request – I hope it helps and sending much love!

For more of my work and to make a donation you can head to YayWithMe.com xo!

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Ep 188: Let’s Plant Some Seeds: Reflections and intention-setting for the new year Jan 03, 2023

Let’s start this year by reminding ourselves that we can have so much joy and fun and vibrance. And let’s also take stock of the things we love, and also the things we want to work on with a bit of focused energy.

In Tibetan the word Karma translates to action – seed – results. With this idea of planting seeds that eventually bloom into results, I wanted to invite you to reflect on your year past and scan areas for possible growth. The goal of this episode is to journal and reflect so we can be more intentional, conscious and compassionate as we bring about the year to come.

What will you grow with your actions? I invite you to grow more inspiration, love, intimacy, and health and success in your life.

For more of my work and to make a donation, you can head to YayWithMe.com

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Introducing: Sorta Awesome Dec 27, 2022

I would love to introduce "Sorta Awesome" a women's lifestyle podcast geared towards listeners who want to stay current on all things awesome, including culture, media and trending conversations! Each episode of Sorta Awesome begins with the Awesome of the Week. Meg and her co-host share a recent discovery that makes life easier, better or more sparkly. From there, the show delves into topics that are as varied as the team itself!

Sorta Awesome on Apple Podcasts- apple.co/sorta

Sorta Awesome on Spotify

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Ep 187: Stepping Back: How to come back to yourself when fixated on the feelings of others Dec 20, 2022

This is for anyone who obsesses about the thoughts and feelings of others, clinging, feeling anxious and being unable to be yourself. This is targeted at those who are in bad relationship loops but it will also help if this is something that comes up in familial relationships. I thought it was a good refresher for the holidays because a lot of stuff comes up this time of year.

This habit has a lot to do with codependency and relationship reliance because it’s a need to get validation from another person – to hear specific words from them that you are not hearing. It’s also something that comes about when we have a habit of controlling others, often due to fear and uncertainty during childhood. Regardless what we can do to help ourselves is recognize this is happening and come back into ourselves.

That is the key: working on us for us, holding our own hand as we move through the pain. So here are some tools to come back to yourself and ground so you can come back to reality.

For more of my work and to make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com xo

To get your StoryWorth subscription for your loved ones this year, head to Storyworth.com/helpmebeme

To get your Nutrafol head to Nutrafol.com and use promocode HELPMEBEME

Happy Holidays friends!

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Ep 186: Life and Death - Making the Most of Time with Our Loved Ones Dec 07, 2022

Life is temporary – and that is kind of a beautiful thing. I recall as a child thinking that was so intensely and overwhelmingly sad. I almost couldn’t comprehend it. And now I can and I see it as a beautiful part of this experience.

I think a lot of people don’t think about that part of life because it’s too far off or too painful to think about, and because of that we don’t curate our experiences in the way we might if it was more top of mind. Meaning we spend a lot of time in the doing. The pursuing. The distractions. The stuff that doesn’t matter. Often it takes a loss to see how short and temporary life is and how quickly it goes by, to put things in perspective.

So as you move through this life experience, what can we do? We can first become aware. Make it a goal – an intention– to appreciate, value, slow down, be present. Enjoy. And we can be thoughtful in the experiences we curate and the time we invest.

The goal of this episode is to allow yourself the opportunity to take stock of your priorities and the relationships that have great meaning in your life. Maybe that means changing your relationship to a parent or elder for the better. Maybe it means investing your time differently. Or simply appreciating those in your life a bit more.

I’d like this to be a happy and positive episode. Not a downer. Hopefully this allows you to reflect and re-enter an old relationship, anew.

This has been a request quite a few times and it’s also something I have been thinking a lot about. Aging parents, losing loved ones recently. I hope you enjoy it and so so sorry for the background noise! I had to record outside because of sick kids at home.

For more of my work and to make a donation, you can head to YayWithMe.com xo

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Ep 185: Getting Out of Your Own Way Nov 22, 2022

Tools and insights for those who have dreams but are unable to take action toward them. This is about how to work with fear of success and fear in general. And most importantly looking at what is holding you back. Because when we don’t act the goal isn’t to force ourselves to act when we’re not ready. (Like, this is not about being pro-impulse. Because often there are real factors in our ambivalence.) The goal is to begin to understand why you are not acting so you can take the right steps.

This is for anyone who has an inkling that they’d like to do something and they cannot for the life of them get themselves to even try. It might be a job. It might be as simple as making a TikTok. (That’s my weird fear.) Or maybe you are absolutely SURE that something is meant for you, like you are mid-screenplay – but you watch yourself repeatedly be inactive on this front. Or you don’t even know where to start – and so you don’t.

Maybe it’s not even that explicit – maybe it’s just a general sense of procrastination. Or something weirder – like a general sense of resent or distaste for those who are successful at something in particular. That is because you are a magnet for this thing: you are reacting to it because it exists inside you! So use that feedback and take a listen.

This is life school, remember? We are here to grow. Let’s give this little seed some water. Small changes evoke massive, life-changing ones!

Here are the two links I mention:

Dr. Stutz’s website with more of his tools plus more about the Netflix doc “Stutz” that I mention:

https://www.thetoolsbook.com/

And the book, “The Artist’s Way” that I love:

https://amzn.to/3OvUrHr

For more of my work and to make a donation, you can head to https://www.YayWithMe.com and to check out my very first TikTok’s (gulp) you can find me at https://www.tiktok.com/@yaywithme

Xo!

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Ep 184: Creating sanity in the face of gaslighting or a person with bad boundaries Nov 08, 2022

This is for anyone who has a relationship with someone or has to have interaction with someone who does not respect their right to basic human kindness, respect, personal space, or maintain healthy boundaries. This might show up as a person who insults you. Who picks at you, mocks you, targets you by belittling you. Maybe they make you are crazy for the way you do something. For the words you choose. For some habit you keep. For the way you exist or some random thing. Whatever it is, it’s confusing and hurtful. It also might make you start to question whether or not you are crazy. That my friends is the definition of gaslighting. And it may happen to you in a casual circumstance in your life. It can happen in any intimate relationship and it can happen in any environment, and don’t worry– you’re not crazy.

The other name for this is ‘The war on words’ – that’s my term for someone starting to spin you in a web of conflict. So as soon as you try and pin them down, they jump to the next topic or the next one. And you can’t seem to solve the conflict – it only seems to get bigger.

If this rings any bells, I want to acknowledge that confronting a person who is angry and violent can be extremely dangerous – so if that is true for you please speak with someone at this resource and form a plan:

https://www.thehotline.org/

For the rest of the links I mention in this episode, here’s the one about escaping a relationship with a narcissist:

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/episode-50-how-to-break-away-from-a-narcissist-relationship/id895918183?i=1000341326142

Here’s one link to Gabor Maté’s site about the connection between anger suppression and disease (he has a lot of great books, though a lot of them are downers haha):

https://drgabormate.com/healing-force-within/

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Ep 183: Pump it up! An energy tune for if you’re feeling less-than, drained, jaded Oct 25, 2022

Let’s regenerate a bit of that energy and perspective when we are feeling optimal, excited and at the top of our game. This state is also when we are the wisest and most capable of seeing reality for what it is. The energy shift I’m talking about is the difference between clapping along with the camp counselors as they sing songs, and rolling your eyes at them. I think we all have both of those people inside us and we have to choose to lean toward that perspective of “yes-and” –this is how we create lives full of excitement, positivity, friendship and inspiration.

This is an episode aimed at curating an energy of optimism and shininess – because, truly we dictate our worth with how we present in the world. Meaning if we feel less optimal, more lazy, more down, more pessimistic, our energetic presence suffers. We make very different decisions, have very different conversations, and with that different opportunities arise. Our ability to command a room and bring a powerful, positive feeling to ourselves and others, also gets reduced.

So let’s shift our energy, together! Sending love and smiles. For more of my work head to YayWithMe.com xo

DISCLAIMER! There’s like 200 different construction projects happening around me while I’m recording and it sucks. I am so sorry– hopefully it will end before my next record. 

And here’s the book I mentioned (The Four Agreements). It’s short and a good stocking-stuffer for anyone who hasn’t read it. (If that’s even possible.)

https://amzn.to/3svSaSo

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Introducing: ReThinking: Allyson Felix on Defeating Disappointment and Savoring Success Oct 14, 2022

Hi friends! This is a preview of a podcast from our friends at TED Audio Collective: ReThinking with Adam Grant. In this episode, organizational psychologist Adam interviews Olympic medalist Allyson on finding motivation, bouncing back from failures, and learning to appreciate successes. If you’d like to hear more from leading thinkers and creators, follow ReThinking wherever you get your podcasts. Each week, Adam dives into the minds of interesting people to learn the unique ways they think and find practices we can all apply in our daily lives to live a little better. This season, the show features guests like bestselling author Celeste Ng, Oscar-winning actor Reese Witherspoon, and death-defying rock climber Alex Honnold. Enjoy!!

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Ep 182: Codependency in Relationships – Stepping back from a habit of controlling Oct 11, 2022

This is an episode for anyone who is spending a whole lot of time and energy fixated on the habits, thoughts, or faults of a person they have a relationship with. Maybe that is a partner, parent, friend or a sibling. Regardless, this relationship is lopsided: you do all the things and they do not. Let’s say you are a caregiver type: you know how to make others function better than they know how to function, solo. But that also means you end up annoyed and exhausted.

This is an episode tailored around stepping back from the energy and habit of being controlling – because despite how it feels, we really do have a choice. It’s hard to see that if you are in a relationship with someone who is using, depressed, or needy. But truly – when you step back, new opportunities open up. We can let go of all the struggle that we create for ourselves – and get such relief, instantly.

What we often forget is that to be overly fixated on the thoughts, feelings, faults or ways of another person really robs us of our own enjoyment of life. It also robs the other person of the dignity of making their own mistakes.

Caveat: this is not for you to listen to if you are a caregiver to a dependent, like a child.

For more of my work and to make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com xo!

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Ep 181: Breaking Up With Your Thoughts: An interview with Byron Katie Sep 27, 2022

This is my interview with the amazing author/speaker, Byron Katie. I wanted to do this interview because I feel that her process is powerful but simple and it very much enables individuals to practice disengaging from thoughts that are not helpful and/or cause a lot of pain and perpetuate dysfunctional behavior.

We discuss her process for breaking free of thoughts that keep us trapped in loops of reaction. We also discuss how these thoughts are self-inflicted and the idea that pain is something that is predominantly created by ourselves, in our minds.

TRIGGER WARNING: we discuss topics such as being the victim of a physical violation, so please avoid if this is a topic too sensitive for you.

Byron Katie is the creator of “The Work” and practices “The 4 Questions of Inquiry” as well as “The Judge Your Neighbor Worksheet” which is found at the link below.

To check out Byron Katie’s app plus download her free worksheets, head to:

https://thework.com/

For more of my work, you can head to YayWithMe.com xo!

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Ep 180: How to Let Go of Shame Over a Past Life Sep 13, 2022

Shame is one of the most damaging feelings because of how it defines us to us. This is a request and it’s for anyone who has shameful memories that cause them pain, a person who has changed their life and made amends but cannot seem to let go of the shame. I can relate! Know that it takes time, education, support, context, and also the light that comes from processing something. I think when we can own something and talk about it, it stops owning us and therefore it no longer defines us.

What I express in this episode is my personal path to letting go of shame. A lot of it still lingers around the most upsetting memories. I literally can’t even say what I’ve done on this show because that is how potent it is – I have tried and edited it out because I cannot bear for that to be circulating in the world. So that tells you something. Shame is SUPER INTENSE! I think of myself as having done a lot of work. So take heart and move through it at your own pace, don't be angry with yourself if it takes a bit longer on some things.

Warning: this is not for you if you have self-harmed in the last 3 months, if you are suffering from psychosis, or you are suicidal or homicidal.

For more of my work and to make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com xo!

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Ep 179: Difficult Relationships + the power of projection Aug 30, 2022

For anyone who is dealing with a friend or family member (or anyone, really) who feels you are critical, rude, insensitive or always in the wrong. And when this happens, you are baffled...

Projection is powerful. What we see we believe but most of it is created by our inner world. The reason I’m doing this episode is because projection is also a major factor in how someone charts their course in life. So if that person is self-loathing, unhappy, insecure and angry – they will be making decisions based on this set of feelings – including as it relates to their relationship with others. That person may choose to cut off contact with you, feel offended by you, or think of you as insulting them in the most average of situations. In other worlds, all they can see is how they feel inside. Regardless of how irrational, they see their reasoning as valid, and this is like a welcome escape from their inner world. Because it’s out there! Not me. It’s them.

This episode has tools for setting boundaries with a person like this – and also tools for orienting yourself in the face of this.

For more of my work and to make a donation, head to Yaywithme.com

The two articles I mention in this episode are here:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/projection

https://www.britannica.com/science/projection-psychology

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Ep 178: Inner Shine: Curating joyful energy + a sense of aliveness Aug 16, 2022

This is for anyone who with a tendency toward a lack perspective – maybe you default to a survival mode of unconscious “doing” and because of that your life is somewhat based in “not enough” / a sense of being less-than. This is a recipe to help you transition out of that. The motivation for this episode is I have always had a fear/lack perspective and a desire for safety, which was underlying many of my decisions in adult life. I think this is also something interwoven into confidence/self-love issues. So take note if that seems true for you. It may show up as being risk-adverse. Or subtly resisting powerful roles in your life. Or perhaps in the way you date: choosing people who have serious issues.

This is all about getting into that state of inner “shine.” Feeling fully alive and present and living your life from this energy, as an intentional practice. Not just “checking the boxes, doing the things and keeping up” but shining from the inside out.

What does shine energy feel like? Bounty. Joy. Love and energy – like “I can run the whole way down the trail.” Like “I am a kid again and there is no such thing as gravity or fatigue.” But not just in a physical sense. In a view of the world, sense.

Here’s the book I am reading (and liking) that I mentioned called The Enlightenment Project:

https://amzn.to/3bsAP81

Here’s Martha Beck’s podcast “The Gathering Pod” that I mentioned:

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-gathering-pod/id1544173982

To make a donation or see more of my work, head to YayWithMe.com ! xo

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Ep 177: Couples Counseling – when to do it + the ways it can help Aug 02, 2022

This is for anyone considering attending couples counseling and you are unsure of what to look for or perhaps you are hesitant about going because you don’t know if it will be effective.

This is also for if you are in fight loops and your conflicts are not being solved and things are being heightened. If you find that you are both throwing out intense ultimatums and yet both staying in the relationship, it’s definitely worth trying – and also shopping for the right person who brings out the deeper emotional truths in both of you. If you haven’t done it before – this is my opinion as a married person: Why you’re doing it as well as what happens while you’re there.

I also think a lot of people believe, “I’m doing everything right and my partner is doing everything wrong.” And they go to couples counseling not knowing what the goal is or expecting the counselor to tell their partner, “You are wrong and you should listen to everything your partner is saying.” And so I wanted to give you my two cents on how to approach couples counseling in the hopes that it will allow you to get something better out of it. So this may help you identify a goal for yourself in therapy – with your partner, so you can curate that result.

I think of a couples counselor as a translator in many ways. They are also containers for the deeper feelings to be revealed so that both can shift behavior toward love and or decisions that are loving. Take what helps and leave the rest! Sending love.

For more of my work you can head to YayWithMe.com xo!

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Ep 176: The Power of Openness– An interview with author Pam Grout Jul 19, 2022

This is my (fan-girl) interview with Pam Grout – author, amazing human being & teacher of love and positivity. She has written 20 books including E-Squared, E-Cubed, Thank & Grow Rich and her latest, The Course in Miracles Experiment: A Starter Kit for Rewiring Your Mind. One of the topics we discuss is disengaging from expectations! A lot of people struggle with unconsciousness. By that I mean getting lost in thoughts. In busyness. In mental commentating. In future expectations. We don’t realize how powerful expectations are as well as judgment of neutral facts–in creating our reality. When we can be open to seeing the alternate version of that same reality everything changes. Including the future we create for ourselves.

If you want to find Pam definitely read her blog and subscribe to get them via email:

https://pamgrout.com/

Here's her new book - The Course in Miracles Experiment:

https://amzn.to/3RGGQyp

And if you want to make a donation to the 222 Foundation, you can head here:

https://www.dccfoundation.org/fund/Taz-Grouts-222-Fund

If you want to check out more of my work or to make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com or Patreon.com/SarahMayB

Xo!

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Ep 175: Non-Stop Seeking – For feeling empty, never enough and unfulfilled Jul 06, 2022

A meditation on the feeling of non-stop seeking and grasping toward things that exist on the outside – versus asking from the inside, how can my life become more meaningful.

I think a lot of people look outward for a source of success and fulfillment: in what others say, in what we have, in all the proof points of “I am enough.” And that is reinforced by the systems in place: social media, devices, content, entertainment…

This is an episode that invites you to consider: Maybe there’s nothing to fix, but the problem lies in our grasping and avoiding of discomfort. This episode also invites you to scan back on your life and look at what truer values are for your happiness – the things you don’t necessarily see reflected back to you on a phone. What are the moments that only you appreciate and how can you bring out more of them in your life? It starts with becoming aware of this habit loop in the first place.

The book I mention in this episode is here:

https://amzn.to/3IluA22

For more of my work and to make a donation, you can head to Yaywithme.com xo!

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Ep 174: Relationship Ambivalence: Stuck in fight loops + wanting change Jun 21, 2022

For anyone who perhaps is negotiating standing up for yourself and also accommodating your relationship to make it peaceful and loving, and unsure of how to balance those two things. You might find that your fight loops are repeating and you are unhappy because of that. You both are likely seeking love and closeness but also wanting change. This is targeted at those in relationships that are well established. For example, when the novelty has worn off and any imbalances have had time to set in. You might be asking - do I want to be with this person or is this relationship hopeless? What do I want? What’s happening in my relationship? Is this at all fixable? We both used to be happy but now I am flipping between love and hate, pretty often. OR you might be asking– why can’t my partner see me? Why can’t they meet my needs when they are so small? What the hell happened… things were great and as soon as I brought up my needs, this turned into something so much worse. Am I crazy?

This is a topic that obviously has a lot of variables – but this will at least give you something to reflect on if this sounds like your situation. And every solution will be different and based on you and your partner – so don’t force anything that doesn’t feel right for you.

There are 3 parts to this episode– the what, why, and how–the tools, and we will hear from our sponsors right before the tools section. For more of my work and to make a donation, you can head to YayWithMe.com ! xo

The book on love languages is this one:

https://amzn.to/3bdC7mW

And here is a love language quiz to take:

https://5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/love-language

If you don’t feel safe in your relationship, this is for you:

National Domestic Violence Hotline

https://www.thehotline.org/

800-799-7233

Hours: 24/7. Languages: English, Spanish and 200+ through interpretation service

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Ep 173: Owning Yourself - Being fully embodied and unapologetically yourself Jun 07, 2022

What does it take to own yourself? To be fully confident in your voice and unapologetically yourself in all situations. I think it takes being deeply rooted in our skin. I feel like a lot of us are robbed of parts of ourselves throughout our life – whether that’s during adolescence when you’re trying to fit in, or as an adult in a relationship where you are not confident in your beliefs and the other person talks you out of your feelings. As we grow up and grow stronger – we may reclaim parts of ourselves. Our values shift, and we may gather the pieces of past broken selves and put them back together – as a true part of us. And I LOVE LOVE LOVE this process. So this is an episode in service of that – being unapologetically yourself, fully embodied, and validated just by your own opinions.

As I mentioned if you are a person who is in a relationship where you don’t feel safe and you know you want to exit it, this is a resource to start with:

https://www.thehotline.org/

Internet usage can be monitored and is impossible to erase completely. If you’re concerned your internet usage might be monitored, call the domestic violence hotline at 800.799.SAFE (7233).

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Ep 172: Reflecting on Your Relationship: When Things Require Some Work May 25, 2022

This is an episode for anyone who is at the cusp of counseling or is negotiating a power struggle in their relationship. I think for a lot of people it can be hard to know if you are happy or if you want to stay, or if you are actually ready to leave a relationship. It’s one of those things that requires a lot of talk and reflection, and it gets even more complicated because of how interwoven it is with everything in your life as an individual.

Relationships are hard, and if you want them to work long-term they take a lot of maintenance, work and also introspection. A lot of the time keeping them healthy means voicing your issues and being strong enough to walk away if it requires that.

This is an episode that is mostly tools. I wrote it for anyone who is in a difficult relationship situation. Maybe you are thinking of getting counseling or you are currently in a power struggle. And it’s tailored to codependents and those of us who get stuck in the swallowing our needs, feeling if we just try hard enough EVENTUALLY we will get the love and respect we crave.

If you are in a dangerous relationship and need help to exit in a way that is safe for you head to this resource:

https://www.thehotline.org/

Internet usage can be monitored and is impossible to erase completely. If you’re concerned your internet usage might be monitored, call us at 800.799.SAFE (7233).

For more of my work head to YayWithMe.com and to become a Patreon head to Patreon.com/SarahMayB

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Ep 171: An Introduction to Dream Work May 10, 2022

Dream work is much more personal and specific to you – it’s powerful and amazing. And once you unlock the meaning behind one dream, I think you will be hooked. Because it’s like a shortcut to the suppressed feelings that are too far away from your conscious mind to be readily accessed. You might find that you have different feelings on topics than you think you do. I have found new confidence and awakening through dreamwork. I have also found insights that make me appreciate myself more. I have also discovered what I really felt despite what was going on in my present consciousness. I invite you to work with some of the material in your dreams to see what it alights in you!

This episode will get weird. But I think there’s a lot of power in dream work. I do it often. You can of this as the laymen’s casual intro to dreamwork – if you are curious about it. This is based on my personal dream work – how I’ve learned to work with my own dreams. I used to think that dream work was total bullshit because if you google it and read most any casual postings on how to interpret your dreams, it does not translate.

This is a totally experimental episode – and if you hate hearing about other people’s dreams, then not an episode for you!

The big picture book on dream work that I spoke about is this:

https://amzn.to/38AT49m

The Jung books I recommended are here:

https://amzn.to/37StaxV

https://amzn.to/3EXguC4

https://amzn.to/3kqAVxX

https://amzn.to/3rY3FlY

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Ep 170: Inner Listening – Curating Private Psychic Space Apr 26, 2022

This is an episode aimed at helping you tune in to what you think and feel and becoming aware of the external pressures that may be hindering your creativity. There are a lot of journal prompts for reflecting on what it is you want – truly, and also ways to resist the performative masks you might be wearing in your life. This is alsoa selfish episode aimed at making all of you out there a bit more silly, fun and in your skin. Because I think we need it. I think we need less looking perfect, less oversimplification, less judgement. More complexity, weirdness and openness. A lot of people in the world are lonely and feel isolated. I think that a lot of this comes from a feeling of being dehumanized by professional spheres, working remotely as well as living and communicating on the internet. I send you my love and if you want to check out more of my work, head to YayWithMe.com xo!

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Ep 169: Know Thyself - Moving through fear + ambivalence + growing self-trust Apr 12, 2022

Fear is a state of mind. This is for you if you are currently doing any self-work and trying to grow your confidence especially when it comes to overthinking your decisions. It's something to practice if you’re in a fear-state or overly identified with your thoughts. It's for when you have pain around life being what it is, in the form of regret. There are tools for self-forgiveness via acceptance of what is and what was. Or gentle practices around forgiveness especially in the moments of self-doubt when you cringe at something you’ve done or said. So this is really cringing of all kinds! Past and recent – the goal here: know thyself.

This is for moving into a state of relief and safety. I intend it for you to use when it relates to yourself – feelings of self-doubt you may have when you don't trust yourself or overthink everything you do.

For more of my work head to Yaywithme.com xo!

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Ep 168: Loving Yourself Enough to Let Someone Go Mar 29, 2022

This is an episode for emotional pain related to leaving a relationship that is not working. This is really a follow up to the “bad relationship” episode. I have gotten several requests in this area so I’m going to try and give you some tools to really process what you want, why that is valid, and relieve some of the negative thoughts that may come about when you try and leave a bad relationship. This is for re-centering yourself and finding a bit of peace in the face of your own decision making. A lot of us struggle with guilt and second-guessing ourselves when so much is at stake. It’s incredibly painful and challenging to move through a loss voluntarily – so if you are contemplating leaving – and it’s been a long time, then I would guess it’s that bad. It’s not easy to do. Don’t take it lightly. I wanted to give you a heads up – this episode has a lot of tools because it’s really geared toward help and mental processing.

For anyone who is in a relationship that poses danger to your physical safety, and in need of support to exit/escape that relationship here is a great resource:

National Domestic Violence Hotline. 24/7. Languages: English, Spanish and 200+ through interpretation service 800-799-7233. Text "start" to 88788, or chat live at thehotline.org.

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EP 167: Moving Out of Jealousy + Comparison - How to Let Creativity Unfold Mar 15, 2022

This is an episode all about how to move out of a state of comparison – one that prevents us from being a creative, embodied self. I would also say this is an episode for anyone out there who is painfully sensitive – like myself. It can be almost scary to put your heart on the line and invest in an act of self-expression. Your own mind can be the most stunting voice blocking you from being in a flow-state. The tools in this episode has a little of everything – all aimed at moving out of negative energy that is critical and into that more open, expansive, positive energy of creation.

For more of my work you can head to Yaywithme.com and to become a sponsor you can also visit Patreon.com/SarahMayB

Xo!

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Ep 166: Grounding + Growing Through Ritual – An interview with Becca Piastrelli Mar 01, 2022

Hi friends, this is my interview with Becca Piastrelli, author of a new book entitled, “Root and Ritual - Timeless Ways to Connect to Land, Lineage, Community, and the Self.” One important thread in this episode is unhooking from the systems of urgency, productivity, and denial of your body’s inner clock that happens due to the speed of technology. We also discuss the importance and power of ritual and how you can grow that in your life – something that is especially valuable if you have no current source of belief or spirituality in your life.

I had to “regrow” my sense of spirit in my adult life and in doing so I have found so much relief and grounding. I would recommend this episode for anyone who craves something deeper in life or perhaps you feel lonely, depressed, isolated and a lack of meaning in life, currently. For more of my work and to give feedback, you can head to Yaywithme.com xo

Here’s a link to Becca’s book:

https://amzn.to/3tdUoWI

And here’s a link to one of our sponsors this week – Circles!

If you struggle emotionally, you don't have to go through it alone. Be it grief over the loss of a special someone, the pain of divorce or separation, complex relationships or other challenges - Circles offers theme-based online support circles facilitated by professionals. Circles meet weekly in group video meetings and are also available for mutual support in a 24/7 group chat. You can try it out for free for 30 days and Help Be Be Me listeners get an additional 50% off on your second month! Sign up here https://bit.ly/3IIPUhm

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Ep 165: Curating Life - Stepping back from thought patterns + elevating our energy Feb 15, 2022

We choose our life with our energy. What are you choosing with your energy, currently?

In this episode I am going to invite you to become conscious in the sense that I will invite you to disengage from your thought patterns. To make room for newness and stay in a state of flow and at the very least– non-attachment, throughout your day. When we practice this deliberately, we can navigate life more freely and reinvent ourselves time and time again. We just have to step back from whatever we are doing and become aware of what we are practicing.

When you can curate a sense of openness and freedom, amazing things happen! The day actually gets longer! And there’s more air, more color, more beauty. So choose the right thoughts and tune that energy. Xo

For more of my work head to YayWithMe.com

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Ep 164: Bad Relationship – Dating a person who is cheating + lying, feeling powerless Feb 01, 2022

This is for anyone who is in a bad relationship and they suspect the other person is cheating or lying and you don’t know what to do about it. Maybe you are still chasing that high from when you first met them or you’re holding out for the brief moments of time when you guys connect and you feel totally intoxicated by love.

We often ignore red flags and bad behavior because we see the potential in someone and we think we can love them enough, support them enough and that person can come through. But at the end of the day what matters most is who this person is capable of being. Not who they could be in your eyes.

If you're taking a lot of bad behavior, I would guess that this relationship makes you feel more bad than good and if you could snap your fingers and make it disappear, you’d choose to get out of it.

If any of this sounds familiar, I can relate. I have walked in your shoes. I send you my love and I hope this helps! Xo Sarah May B.

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Ep 163: Parents + Family Who are Emotionally Hurtful Jan 18, 2022

How to deal with parents who are emotionally unsupportive, unloving, say mean things, are manipulative or compare you to others. The goal of this episode is to move on and heal so that you can be happier and more loving to others. It’s a starting point for putting down the wounds and not living through that place of need, so much. I do think this is an issue best tackled with a therapist because you have do a lot of processing and get perspective. I am a huge fan of therapy and I can’t recommend it enough! You can change everything in your life – including how you relate to others in your family – just by changing yourself. So if you want a healthier relationship with your family, I would start there.

I know this is a tough and painful wound. It doesn’t have to define you forever. Start with a goal and everything else will organically unfold. Sending much love… xo.

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Ep 162: Chasing Beauty – A painful fixation on our looks Jan 04, 2022

This is an episode for anyone who feels like they are obsessed with being prettier, younger, something-er, in some external way, and you feel that it is reducing your wellbeing in life. This came up when I was interviewed by Melissa Rivers. She asked something like, “What if you’re never happy with the way you look? How do you stop feeling that way?” What she was struggling with was the emptiness and that feeling of never enough that comes with a constant pursuit of beauty. The products, the treatments, the correcting of some flaw we see in our physical selves. What happens if you are an image-focused person, or you happen to live in a society that is super image-focused, is you get warped. You stop being able to see yourself and instead you only see what is wrong with yourself. So if you could use a new lens, this is an episode for you! And heads up – it’s a messy episode! Sorry hahaha. My whole family has COVID right now.

Happy new year lovely friends… xo Sarah May B.

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Ep 161: Building a Vision Dec 21, 2021

This episode is targeted at you having a vision of a future life that is beautiful and rewarding. Seeing it clearly. And not being embarrassed about going through that process. If you – like me, are often too embarrassed to take on practices like this, then I want to call that out. How silly is that, right? If that’s one thing that we can all put down at the end of this year – for good. Never be too embarrassed to try something out. To invest in it. To mean it. It’s wasted energy. Feeling silly held me back from so much. But no longer! I think allowing your mind to wander and paint pretty pictures of different futures is so instrumental in seeing the ratio you want to create in your current schedule.

In order to see a life that will make us happier, we have to be able to think outside our sphere, and our routine. Which can be challenging! As we head into the end of the year and toward the new year, I think one really important step is getting clear about what you want. I don’t mean making a vision board – unless that is something you enjoy doing that you find resonates with you – then by all means go for it!

I have a vision of being in the UK for a month, and the way my routine dictates my life, that will not come about unless I really get into the reflection and action stage of that dream.

The reason for this is I remember early on in my self-help beginnings I was kind of tentative about investing in the guidance given, specifically when it required I dream big. Like I was still “on the outside” of the genre and poking fun at it, deciding how much of it I believed and how much I thought was cliché horse doodoo. And now what I would consider well along the path of my self-help dive, I think one thing that is very important if you are growing and building toward something –is being able to see a life you want. I think that can be difficult especially when you are limited by a routine or feeling stuck.

It's also something that feels a little “fluffy” like it’s a waste of time. So this is an episode that makes a case for why this is important and also very powerful. And at the end we are going to go through some actual exercises to start to ideate around the life you want.

Sending you so much love and if you are in search of additional content, head to Patreon.com/SarahMayB

To make a donation and to see more of my work, head to YayWithMe.com

Xo!

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Ep 160: Holiday Feels – Ways to Stay Centered in the Face of Holiday Stress Dec 09, 2021

This is for anyone who needs some help to navigate difficult feelings and situations that come up around the holidays – whether that be dealing with family drama, overwhelm, or loneliness.

If a lot of “stuff” is coming up for you right now, know that you are not alone. A lot of feels come up during the end of the year: it’s heightened. There are a lot of expectations – ours and those of loved ones. We tend to feel like we need to be somewhere in our life, be with someone, have certain things, or be a certain way – especially when it comes to putting on a certain face around family. And if you are working on yourself, it can be just enough to push you over the edge of “okay” toward “freaking out” or “overwhelmed.”

So the shorthand of this episode is – do what you need to do to take care of yourself and honor yourself! That and be very aware of your thoughts: don’t let them take over your experience of this time. You get to choose the thoughts you want to follow, and the ones that are not helpful.

Sending much love – and if you want to check out additional content, head to Patreon.com/SarahMayB

To make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com/Donate

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Ep 159: Paths Back to Worthiness Nov 23, 2021

To listen to when you start to get into that energy of unaccomplished/ugly/stupid/fat/alone/I don’t like myself for fill-in-the-blank reason. This is an episode aimed at returning you to a feeling of confidence and embodiment, in the immediate onset of the “I suck” energy. I think one thing that comes up – all the time, but often during holidays when we are returning to old friends, siblings, family – is that sense of comparison. And a heightened sense of self-awareness. And it can be triggering – we can often be leveled back to an old self – one less balanced, less confident, or less convicted in who they are. So this is an episode to hopefully help you get back to “YOU” in the all caps written-in-lights, sense.

You can understand your felt experience as in large part authored by the set of thoughts you repeat to yourself. So the goal is to get back to a place where we’re repeating the right kinds of thoughts to ourselves! The ones that make us feel our own sense of limitlessness. You are awesome and you know how to take care of yourself. The most important thing is to START taking some constructive actions. Start building the house of confidence back up – layer by layer!

I send you much love and if you want to support any of our sponsors this week check out:

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For more of my work head to YayWithMe.com and for additional content, head to Patreon.com/SarahMayB

Xo!

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Ep 158: Hearing the Change You Want Nov 09, 2021

This is a super short episode because it’s aimed at a very specific reflection exercise. It came about because one thing that I have noticed in my One-One-one sessions, is that people repeatedly say the change they want, very clearly, though they often don't hear themselves saying it. The change you want and need to make – in order to be happier– is simple and finite, if we can just hear ourselves. However, often we don’t because we are saying it unconsciously. So this is an episode all about how to make that thing conscious. It's all about discovering what you are yearning for, what you want to change, what condition is making you unhappy, and how to alter that simply. It’s a shorter episode because it’s really simple as an idea – and it really revolves around some specific journal prompts.

For more of my work and to make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com ! xo

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How to grow your sense of self Nov 09, 2021

This is a reflection episode all about how to foster originality and grow your sense of selfhood (and self-love). There’s something that happens when people become a mass – there’s a leaning toward sameness. This is a recording in service of inviting you all to lean into the things you think, feel and do, that no one else does. How to stand by yourself. And with that, I believe you will grow a loving friendship with yourself.

For more of my work check out YayWithMe.com xo!

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A reflection on play and feeling fully alive Oct 27, 2021

This is a sensory kind of reflection on feeling more tied to your sense of wonder and aliveness. An invitation to anyone who gets into a default of doing and checking off boxes, versus feeling a sense of awe and rest.

This is a spur of the moment record done post-rain, an offering I wanted to throw out there for anyone who is looking to bring more play into their lives. It’s my current “frame” by which I am reexamining the habits I have in my life.

I hope you enjoy! Xox

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Ep 157: Lauri Burns of The Teen Project: Growing Your Intuition + Sense of Spirituality Oct 26, 2021

This is an interview I do with longtime friend Lauri Burns, founder of The Teen Project. It’s all about that little voice that guides us from within and how we can strengthen our awareness of it so we can be guided when we need it the most. Warning: this episode has some sad topics in it, including abuse of children. If you need to skip that part you can stop listening right when I ask Lauri to tell a story from her new book.

For anyone who wants to donate to The Teen Project:

Visit TheTeenProject.com

For the book about Lauri’s life story (cover featuring yours truly) check out: https://amzn.to/3mchiv4

For the book from the girls of Vera’s Sanctuary:

https://www.yaywithme.com/shop/sanctuary-of-the-heart

For her new book check The Teen Project website in December!

What is that little voice that nudges me at the most random times? How does it sound? How can I tap into it more and allow it to guide me? This is for anyone who wants to grow their sense of spirituality, or even just understand that little voice that I am calling “intuition” a bit more. It’s that weird little voice that nudges you to go back and investigate something random and then you find your long lost wedding ring. Or that thought you get of someone you love who is deceased, but then you find an oddly perfect letter from them – that pertains to this moment.

To be clear - I am not preaching any God in this episode, I am describing something that could be totally scientifically explained. It’s really about opening up to recognizing that we have these other senses that are very attuned to things that our mind cannot understand.

I personally grew up with a bad experience of religion – and nowadays religion is less popular than ever, despite this, I think we life suffers without an awareness of this “muscle” – this sense, in ourselves. And when we get triggered or creeped out by spirituality or the non-explainable, we are deliberately shutting off a part of ourselves that can sense into much “greater” than the known/explained universe. Those nudges of intuition are subtle and often bizarre. The voice cannot be rationalized or explained because it’s smarter than our brain – so that’s where I want to start: don’t try and rationalize your way through this episode. If you trust me at all, be open to entertaining the topics discussed.

Also for anyone I trigger with this episode. That is totally fine and I get it. Put this on a shelf and listen to it on a day you feel more playful and curious. Personally, when I was in the thick of my pain and recovery of various types – I wasn’t able to believe in anything lofty. I was screening out anyone who might think anything too lofty. So I relate to you. I will say a lot of that comes from just being in a place where you are struggling to get grounded and even know how you feel – in your body. So that is where your priorities should lie. Sending love your way.

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Ep 156: Emotional Scripts - When Family Emotional Patterns Repeat Oct 13, 2021

This is really about when we start to enact the emotions, fears, losses, and wounds of someone in a previous generation – be that a parent, a parent's parents, or maybe a combination of these plus a self from many years ago who went through something really painful and damaging. Regardless, it can make you act out some pretty big feelings that are not truly aligned with the way you live your life in the present. This is how the course of our relationships can be changed for the worse - unless we become aware of these unconscious scripts.

SO MUCH of what we feel and enact is not ours. And it can wreak havoc on your closest adult relationships. So if something emotional is coming up for you that feels heightened or it happens to be looping, this may be an episode for you!

The book I mention in this episode is here:

https://amzn.to/3lyYCVZ

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Xox

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Ep 155: In Love With an Addict - Codependent and obsessed with someone else’s using Sep 29, 2021

For those in the throes of an obsession with an addict or high on your codependency – maybe you’re in love with someone and they start using or you discover they have an addiction, be that drugs, sex, alcohol. And they have continued to use despite you telling them you need them to stop.

If you are in the midst of a relationship that suddenly turned crazy due to one partner resuming an addiction, this can lead to you feeling crazy, yourself. This is to listen to in the moment this occurs – especially if you feel like you are losing yourself and your sanity.

Major caveat: This is for if you have an adult in your life who is using – not if you are a parent with a child who is using. Things are complicated when you have a child because you are responsible for caring for them and they are not adults yet capable of caring for themselves. I would not give you the same advice.

I know it’s tough when you are in an area where there is no access to good 12-step meetings – so if you don’t have any friends, family, or concrete resources like a good therapist with experience in addiction or a good meeting like COSA, Alanon or SLA, then this is for you. Because I listed this in the episode and they are one of my sponsors – please check out: BetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe for online access to therapists!

To support our sponsors this week check out:

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The two books I mention in this episode are here for the daily reflection book:

https://amzn.to/3CWwke8

And here for the audiobook:

https://amzn.to/2Y2uklu

And hang in there. I know this part is really not fun. Xoxo.

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Ep 154: How to Set Boundaries with Family + Loved Ones Sep 15, 2021

This is a follow-up episode to the previous boundaries episode a few weeks ago. It’s to listen to when you are in need of help in setting boundaries with a loved one, if you need some more tactical advice. I cover things to say to that person as well as ways to ground if you are feeling confused and lost in their arguments. It’s also mainly to remind you that boundaries are positive and loving for all people – you and the people in your life you are setting them with. Sending much love and know that it gets easier and more logical as you practice this! Xox!

To check out my Patreon page including some exclusive content head to Patreon.com/SarahMayB

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Ep 153: Letting Go of an Addiction – Smoking, drugs or something else that’s killing you Sep 01, 2021

This is for anyone who wants to quit something but is terrified of trying again – or feels hopeless about it. Or overwhelmed. Maybe you’ve already proven to yourself that you don’t like life without this thing enough to stay off of it. Or you are too disheartened to try again.

I would bet that although you still do it, you hate this thing so much. You hate that it causes you so much sadness and lost time. And lost self-esteem. And you wish more than anything that you could just press a button and this thing would be gone from your life. That you didn’t have to struggle with this problem. A problem that stays between you and others. That keeps you from love or health or confidence. Of really feeling you can invest in your life being long and happy.

I know that feeling well. It’s like living as a dead person – you are always aware of this dark shadow that is – that thing. The deadly addiction. And you want to turn off your ears and mind to it because it really feels like “I have no other option – so why would I listen?”

But what you can’t see from here is that change is possible when you have the right logic. Change is totally possible when you have the understanding that allows you to truly let go of this problem. I’ll talk a lot about my particular addictions in this episode. And here are the books that I mention – PLEASE READ ONE!!!

For smokers:

https://amzn.to/3mVEM8N

For vapers:

https://amzn.to/3kEK5q9

For over-drinkers (but I think it will apply to drugs, too):

https://amzn.to/3mP65RX

Another for more severe drinkers:

https://amzn.to/3kKvLMQ

Haven’t read this but it’s using his principles, about emotional eating:

https://amzn.to/3BoYehY

This episode is dedicated to my aunt Margaret. I love you. And I will miss you forever.

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Ep 152: Good Boundaries – What they are, how to set them + how to be self-loving Aug 18, 2021

This is an episode about good boundaries: how to set them as well as WHY to set them. You can think about having one loose boundary as having a leak in a boat: if there’s one hole (aka I have a bad boundary when it comes to dating – I can’t walk away when they don’t follow through) this means your whole sense of self is perpetually sinking. It resets the baseline for your entire life. You will be compromised in your self-respect, your worth, your self-love. It affects everything about your life. I created this episode because a lot of us don’t know what the hell a boundary is – and also why they directly translate into whether or not you like yourself and love yourself. This is a HUGE CORNERSTONE piece of confidence, happiness, lack of fear, lack of jealousy and the ability to actualize personal growth. If you change this ONE HABIT and begin to set firm boundaries, I kid you not it will change everything about your life for the better. It’s AMAZING in what it affects. IMO, it’s the most freeing and powerful thing you can do. So with that – here is the show! 3 parts – what why and how the tools.

To check out my Patreon page including some exclusive content head to Patreon.com/SarahMayB

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Ep 151: Easy Does It – Dealing with a stressful life Aug 03, 2021

We have experiences that imprint the physical responses we have to stressors in our life – big or small. So if you are feeling a sense of inner chaos and overwhelm, or you are feeling like you cannot handle all that is happening in your life, this is likely at least in part related to your physiological wiring. Meaning the experiences that impacted you the most from your upbringing. Maybe you get that feeling of panic or you have been feeling an overwhelming sense of hopelessness that causes you to procrastinate. Yes, stress has a lot to do with our literal life circumstances, but what we bring to those circumstances is also a huge piece of the puzzle.

So if you are feeling a sense of “I can’t handle it” – or you have been snapping a lot lately, or you’ve been feeling numb – or very irritable, or perhaps very controlling and like a motor that is slowly running into the ground– this is an episode for you. I cover a lot of ways to lighten your load and come back to a place of resource. There are three parts to this episode – the what why and how the tools.

If you’re looking into having kids and you’d like to support our latest sponsor, check out Modern Fertility! It’s the easy and affordable way to test your fertility hormones at home with a simple finger prick. Mail it in with a prepaid label, and you’ll get your personalized results within 10 days. Right now, Modern Fertility is offering our listeners $20 off the test when you go to www.ModernFertility.com/HelpMe xoxo!

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Ep 150: Painful Comparison - Why it’s happening and how to find relief Jul 21, 2021

This is for anyone who isfixating on what is better about someone else and devaluing yourself. The flux that is your own perceived value. It can become an obsession – something that doesn’t let go of your brain – and haunts you almost like a worry you cannot put to rest. I am in particular focusing on the measurement that may be done while online, maybe that’s with social media like Instagram, or with photos – some kind of evidence that you get obsessed with and cannot seem to stop weighing and quantifying. “If this thing I perfect, where do I fall compared to this thing?” Because just like anything, this is a perspective that – with deliberate effort and focus, can be shifted.

For more of my work you can head to YayWithMe.com

To support our latest sponsors, you can check out BirchLiving.com/HelpMeBeMe

Or you can check out the podcast Chatting with Candace on Apple Podcasts!

Xo!

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Ep 149: How to Move On Without Closure Jul 07, 2021

How to move on if you didn’t get any explanation as to why someone is ending a relationship. Maybe that’s a romantic relationship. Maybe that’s a work relationship. Or maybe that’s a friendship. Because in that situation you might be searching for grounding that never comes. And this can be one of the hardest ways to end something – because it’s in itself a trauma.

If you are in need of more information on this subject, you can check out The Break-Up Album on YayWithMe.com/shop/the-break-up-album

That is my “break-up coach in a podcast album” that deals with how to move through a break-up in the most empowering, self-loving way possible. This is really like a truncated version of a chapter in the podcast album. And if you are really struggling, I highly recommend checking out BetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe and chatting with a therapist. This can bring up a lot of old trauma around loss. Regardless - I send you my love and positive vibes of healing and self-discovery! xox

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Ep 148: Stuck in a Codependent and Bad Relationship – Tools for strength-building Jun 22, 2021

This is an episode for starting to work your way out of a codependent relationship.

When you’re in a relationship that really doesn’t make you feel better about yourself. Maybe it feels really unhealthy, or you know you’re not rewarded or happy. But you can’t leave – and you find yourself getting pulled back in again and again. This is also for anyone who is currently in a relationship with a person who they don’t trust. Maybe you have had issues with them in the past – they blame you for the issues in the relationship, they make you feel insecure and that you’re the crazy one. Maybe they have had a negative effect on your life – you’ve distanced from your friends, you have little positive input in your life outside of the time you spend together – and despite knowing that, you can’t seem to do anything about it. Heads up - as with all of my episodes, this is based on my personal experience and not a professional diagnosis. I strongly recommend therapy for this issue in particular. It worked great for me! There are 3 parts to this episode – the what, why and how – the tools!

And if you are interested in checking out our sponsor for this episode and getting $200 off all mattresses plus 2 eco-rest pillows, head to BirchLiving.com/HelpMeBeMe

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Ep 147: Our Words: Becoming Aware of the Stories We Tell Ourselves and Others Jun 08, 2021

This is focused on becoming more aware and also deliberate in your words – curating a more positive and empowering story for yourself and for those you love and enjoy, in life. This episode is also targeted at helping you to recognize your words: making them conscious and guided – because they very much narrate the future of your life. The ones you use inside and importantly outside, really do tell You and others– how things will go. Also, the stories we tell ourselves are often not even our own. We inherit them from parents or others who have modeled a situation for us in formative years: you might find yourself repeating things and really feeling them – even though they’re not true to your life situation.

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Ep 146: Love Reset: For when reactivity and oversensitivity takeover healthy relationships May 25, 2021

Or, "It's not about you." There are all sorts of unconscious processes that occur in individuals and they show up in our relationships. Usually, if we are getting into that loop of reactivity, it’s not about what it’s about. Rather, it’s a chain reaction of misunderstandings. Or it can often be due to both people feeling tapped and therefore yanking at the other person to please see them and give them attention. The best way to navigate out of a situation like this is to change that habit and bring in the feeling of bounty and openness. Easier said than done, but this is an episode aimed and getting you to that state. And also reminding yourself, if your partner is venting onto you– it’s not about me!

To go more in-depth on this type of information you can check out Gottman here:

https://amzn.to/2St6rAs

For more of my work you can check out YayWithMe.com!

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Ep 145: Regaining Confidence and Autonomy When Feeling Clingy + Small May 11, 2021

Tools for regaining a sense of autonomy and self-confidence if you find that you are clinging and overly sensitive to the opinions of others. So if you are in a codependent relationship or you feel trapped in that fear-based loop that can happen when you are too consumed by a relationship, and you feel small and powerless, this is an episode for you. These are exercises – both physical and written- to do in order to condition your mind and body to resume a more empowered headspace. Strong. Self-assured. If you are feeling reliant on someone else or something else – like your value is somehow dictated by that thing, try starting here. I did these steps myself recently and found them to be re-centering and enlightening.

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Ep 144: Creative Fertility + Inspiration - Tools For Creative Burnout Apr 25, 2021

Burnout shows up as a loss of meaning – it might feel like everything is hard, or pointless, or not worth doing. So if you are experiencing something like that, you might be in that stage of “winter” – when we must go on an inner journey. One that brings forth new play and inspiration and growth. Creativity is an energy. A fountain of love and passion and drive and fun. We all must foster it! It brings us life and it brings the truest value we have, into the world. I am posting this for anyone who is experiencing burnout and in search of their origin: their innate sense of creativity. Because creativity is also play. It does not need to be useful – nor should it be. It does not need to be popular or understood. The soul yearns for an expression that is deeply rewarding, brings joy. I want to bring you all some magic and fire this week in the form of this powerup episode. It has a bunch of tools and exercises to invite forth your creative instincts if you are in the stage of burnout. The books/thinkers I mention in this episode are here: https://amzn.to/3aIeuzC and here for Parker J Palmer: https://amzn.to/3vgPSWK To help out this show, check out our sponsor: Better Help. Better Help is online access to therapists, around the globe. So if you are depressed or anxious or feeling stuck, use our code for 10% off your first month of therapy. Head to TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe

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Ep 143: Fostering Enoughness - Tools for combating envy Apr 14, 2021

Feeling we are good enough and that our lives and decisions are valid and make sense – so that we can move into an active and inspired state. This is for anyone who is looking at others and feeling like they are falling short – like they should have what they have. Or maybe you’re focusing on their life their stuff their experiences and feeling resentful and desiring to have that stuff. It’s a painful feeling – often one we don’t want to have. So if that sounds like you, this is an episode for you. Three parts – what why and how! Here's my fave dream book: https://amzn.to/3e9xIPU Here's the book that I mentioned in the tools section: https://amzn.to/3akw90l If you'd like to check out some of my research here's one book with some interesting theories: https://amzn.to/3diN0SS This episode is sponsored by Better Help: online access to therapists, around the globe. If you want to support this show, use our code for 10% off your first month of therapy. Head to TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe

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Ep 142: Self-Dialoguing - How to Do Self-Work in a Journal Mar 25, 2021

You can do a lot of great work on yourself with a journal. If you want to try and work through a problem, or you want to start a journal but don’t know what to write about, this is an episode for you. It can also be really confusing as to what to talk about. Especially if nothing flows. The journal I use is this one: https://amzn.to/3tV5Vc5 And to apply for the free chat session you can head here: https://www.yaywithme.com/shop/apply-for-a-free-recorded-chat-session This episode is sponsored by Better Help: online access to therapists, around the globe. If you want to support this show, use our code for 10% off your first month of therapy. Head to TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe

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Ep 141: Imposter Phenomenon - Feeling Like You Don’t Deserve the Good in Your Life Mar 06, 2021

When You Can’t Own Your Successes. This is an episode about Imposter Phenomenon and what to do if you cannot own the successes you have in your life. If you’re not sure if you have this, I will ask you – is there an eternal disconnect between what others see in you and what you see in yourself? There are two very common underlying traits to Imposter Phenomenon- perfectionism and neuroticism. Which means you are overly perfectionistic and also overthink and put immense pressure on yourself, and set unreasonably high setpoints for yourself. This episode is sponsored by Better Help: online access to therapists, around the globe. If you want to support this show, use our code for 10% off your first month of therapy. Head to TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe

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Ep 140: Dealing With Loneliness - Tools for Mid-Pandemic Feb 16, 2021

What to do if you’re feeling lonely right now, mid-pandemic. This is for anyone who is suffering because of social isolation. Maybe you are single and none of your friends are single. Maybe you are normally able to visit others, or they normally visit you, but COVID stopped most of that. Maybe you had lots of casual friends but now they have dropped off the map. Maybe you used to socialize in bars or at the gym or at work. Regardless you feel like you have no one. And that is terrifying in how distant it feels. Like you’re on an iceberg floating far away from the mainland. So here are some tools to deal if that sounds like you! As with all my episodes, there are 3 parts: the what why and how. This episode is sponsored by Better Help: online access to therapists, around the globe. If you want to support this show, use our code for 10% off your first month of therapy. Head to TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe

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Working in a Vacuum: Inspiration for when you feel groundless Jan 29, 2021

This is for anyone who has to self-motivate - maybe you're in the in-between times of employment or you’re trying to get something off the ground that you have made yourself, from scratch. When we only have ourselves to be accountable to. It’s easy to feel like nothing you do matters. When in reality, it does. So if this sounds like you right now – these are some words I wanted to pass along. Having been in those places many a time – what I can see, now in retrospect. This episode is sponsored by Better Help: online access to therapists, around the globe. If you want to support this show, use our code for 10% off your first month of therapy. Head to TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe

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Ep 139: Comedian Sam Tallent on How to Create Art for Joy + Being True to Yourself Jan 12, 2021

This is my interview with author and stand-up comic, Sam Tallent. His new book– Running the Light, is fiction– it’s fantastic and it’s available at SamTallent.com A burst of inspiration for anyone worried about whether or not what they want to make– is worth it. This is an episode (inspired by my husband, Adam) all about creativity, going for it and not letting external systems decide your creative output in this life. I found this conversation very energizing and inspiring – I hope you do as well! The book I referenced in this episode is here: https://amzn.to/38xDwkE Some of the books Sam referenced are here: https://amzn.to/38upu35 https://amzn.to/3oA5gub https://amzn.to/2XvyWwE This episode is sponsored by Better Help: online access to therapists, around the globe. If you want to support this show, use our code for 10% off your first month of therapy. Head to TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe

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Grieving the loss of time Dec 31, 2020

Finding comfort in the face of a year lost and ways to alter your expectations moving forward. Heads up – this is a reshare of a previously recorded episode called ‘The Extra-Strength Lightning Bolt’ but with a new introduction. This is for those of you who can’t get the things you wanted this year. I send you my love and well wishes – and never forget to have hope! This episode is sponsored by Better Help: online access to therapists, around the globe. If you want to support this show, use our code for 10% off your first month of therapy. Head to TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe

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Self-Help for people who hate self-help Dec 15, 2020

Hi friends! This is a short episode all about what the theme of this show means to me. So if you're struggling and you don't know why you keep blowing up your life, this is a little bit of inspiration for you. If you don't like therapy or you don't think there's help out there for you, think again and take a listen. And if you've been through trauma at some point in your life - definitely read this book: https://amzn.to/2Wm5KaN ...and don't lose hope! This episode is sponsored by Better Help: online access to therapists, around the globe. If you want to support this show, use our code for 10% off your first month of therapy. Head to TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe

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When Life Feels Limited - Open a Window Dec 08, 2020

This is a little inspirational power-up episode for anyone who is feeling stuck and uninspired. This was something I wrote 5 years ago but I felt like it could help people today, right now. So if you're feeling uninspired or stuck, this one's for you! The two people I mention in the episode are here: https://thekickasslife.com/ https://amzn.to/3ngWbGl

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Ep 138: Negotiating Messy Family Relationships Nov 25, 2020

It can painful and confusing to deal with all the feels that come up around family, especially when certain members of your family don’t get along. So if you’re having some shit come up – including a lot of hurt around negotiating the way you relate to other family members, then this is an episode for you! This episode is aimed at organizing your feelings so you can remember why you’re doing what you’re doing. The most important priority is to come from love. Why? Because when you do that you are right with yourself. And happy holidays my lovely friends! xoxo The book I reference in this episode is here: https://amzn.to/3m8oG8u This episode is sponsored by Better Help: online access to therapists, around the globe. If you want to support this show, use our code for 10% off your first month of therapy. Head to TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe

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Seriously Burned Out Nov 10, 2020

This is a power-up episode for anyone who feels exhausted and burned out by their week. Maybe you are multitasking a lot and feeling super overwhelmed by the days and weeks to come. That could be due to COVID, job, lack of job, stress, kids, dating, lack of dating, fear, anxiety, or life crap in general! Heads up this is best done when you can close your eyes – but that’s not a mandate. (BTW, this was recorded last week before the US presidential election – just in case you were wondering..) This episode is sponsored by Better Help: online access to therapists, around the globe. If you want to support this show, use our code for 10% off your first month of therapy. Head to TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe

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Ep 137: Fight Loops in Relationships - Finding Empowerment Oct 27, 2020

This is for anyone who is finding themselves in predictable fight loops with their partner or any other close relationship. Maybe you are frustrated they are not doing what you think they should be doing or you find yourself exploding at them then feeling weak and shitty about yourself. It’s about how to find empowerment and align your actions behind what it is you truly want. I’d say it’s the start of the path toward making a change that needs to take place. The two books and the article I mention in this episode are here: https://amzn.to/31uf13I https://amzn.to/37vlU8z https://www.nytimes.com/2020/10/15/parenting/kids-tantrums-advice.html This episode is sponsored by Better Help: online access to therapists, around the globe. If you want to support this show, use our code for 10% off your first month of therapy. Head to TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe

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Don’t Forget Yourself: Keeping Lightness in Your Life Oct 13, 2020

This is a power-up (shorter) episode for anyone who has been living in a purely reactive state where they are going through the motions/dealing with thousands of to-do’s. It’s really easy to forget what is good and fun in your life and with that, we start expecting/seeing only the serious and dire around us. It’s also easy to forget what makes you You, and what makes that self-awesome. This is a little energy-setting reminder. This episode is sponsored by Better Help: online access to therapists, around the globe. If you want to support this show, use our code for 10% off your first month of therapy. Head to TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe

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Ep 136: Rock Bottom - Where to Go From Shame Sep 29, 2020

This is for anyone who wakes up and feels like a different person. One who they really don’t like. And you can’t do anything about it. Maybe you did something really terrible and you thought you knew yourself, but you now realize you didn’t know yourself. It could be a shameful action or a revelation about yourself. It’s paralyzing and ugly and crippling in how it makes you feel. This is rock bottom. The fucking worst of days. Where do you go from here? That’s what this episode is about. Because the hardest most impossible changes we make in life – are a choice. This is a shorter episode because it’s a simple message. The goal of this episode is to help you turn around. This episode is sponsored by Better Help: online therapy with licensed counselors, available around the globe. To get started and also help out this podcast, use our code and get 10% off your first month of therapy. Visit TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe

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Ep 135: Empty on the Inside - Attention-Seeking on the Outside Sep 15, 2020

How being overly identified with what others think is tied to a lack of self-love. This is for anyone who doesn’t trust themselves and generally doesn’t feel they’re a quality person. If you act in really selfish and self-destructive ways – maybe you betray others and lie or cheat. Or you feel really heavily identified with your body or your appearance, or the attention of others – but you don’t feel there’s much more that’s good about you and who you are, then this is for you. This is about beginning the process of understanding why this is happening and also starting to build up faith that you are a good person. The mindfulness books I mention in this episode are here: https://amzn.to/3izGVla https://amzn.to/32jI371 https://amzn.to/2RkNBHY This episode is sponsored by Better Help: online therapy with licensed counselors, available around the globe. To get started and also help out this podcast, use our code and get 10% off your first month of therapy. Visit TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe

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Ep 134: How to Stop Insecurities From Hurting Your Relationship Sep 01, 2020

If you have insecurities that come up and cause you to push your partner away or cling too closely, this is for you. Maybe you find that you are acting out in petty ways – like, starting fights. Or maybe it comes out in jealousy. When you get insecure, you are taken out of the present joy of a relationship, something that can make you feel haunted or like you are going crazy. The worst part of insecurities is you unfriend yourself in the process. You don’t feel you SHOULD feel the way you do, so it makes you feel shitty about yourself FOR feeling shitty about yourself. Often what we do in these situations is pretend it isn’t happening. So if this sounds true for you – this is an episode for you! As with all my episodes, there are 3 parts – the what, why, and how the tools. This episode is sponsored by Better Help: online therapy with licensed counselors, available around the globe. If you feel stuck in life or something is blocking you from the change you want to make, try Better Help – simply fill out a survey and they will match you with a counselor within 48 hours. And if you want to help out this podcast, use our code and get 10% off your first month of therapy: visit TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe

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When the Narcissist Contacts You Out of the Blue Aug 18, 2020

This is for anyone who has escaped a relationship with a narcissist and they reach out to you, out of the blue – and how to navigate that situation. So if you were manipulated, taken advantage of, and could not find your way out of a relationship that left you feeling like the shell of a human – you were likely with a narcissist. Getting out of this kind of relationship is extremely difficult – so the eventual reach-out from this person might leave you feeling sick to your stomach. I send you my love and please stay strong! The two previous episodes I have done on this topic are here: https://soundcloud.com/helpmebeme/episode-50-how-to-break-away-from-a-narcissist-relationship https://soundcloud.com/helpmebeme/ep-111-how-to-tell-if-youre-dating-a-narcissist The book I mentioned that I like on this topic is here: https://amzn.to/3iFhYEC This episode is brought to you by Better Help: online access to therapists, around the globe. If you want to support this show, use our code for 10% off your first month of therapy. Head to TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe

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Ep 133: Stuck + Ambivalent: When You Can’t Make a Decision or Let Go Aug 04, 2020

One of the hardest things to do is give up or accept a loss, even if we are unhappy and have been for a really long time. This is for anyone stuck in ambivalence over a decision to create a change in their life. Sometimes this happens when you are in a long relationship and you feel you can’t leave it – even though you are not happy and you don’t feel in love. Another common scenario is when you are in a field you don’t love but you have been to school for x number of years so you feel like you can’t leave now. It’s so scary to trust the feelings you have when you know they can sometimes change – especially when weighing this against something that is valuable in the eyes of the world. The book I referenced by Dan Ariely is here: https://amzn.to/2DwW9bl This episode is brought to you by Better Help: online therapy with licensed counselors, available around the globe. If you want to help out this podcast, use our code and get 10% off your first month of therapy, visit TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe

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Ep 132: Not Good Enough: Obsessing About Our Faults + What to Do About It Jul 20, 2020

This is an episode about feeling “not enough” and constantly fixating on an identity that is lower, less-than, lazy, fill-in-the-blank negative adjective. What I am describing is something in part caused by our negativity-bias – that part of our brain that scans for threat and fixates. It’s also an identity: a secret truth – one that you subconsciously adhere to. The explanation for all things in your life, that gets repeated to you in your head whenever you are rejected, or complimented for that matter. It’s a story that restates what you lack and interprets the subtext of every situation. It’s pretty much like building a small fence around your life because it dictates how far you’re willing to strive, how much money you think you deserve, how bold you act at work, and what possibilities you even see as open to you as an individual. Which sucks! Because it’s a story ultimately created by you. It can be reinforced by the outside world but you have the ultimate authorship power to affirm or reject that story. So if you are telling yourself the wrong one, or you want to tune up the habits you have around negative narratives about yourself, this is an episode for you. As with all my episodes there are 3 parts – the what, why and how the tools. This episode is brought to you by Better Help: online therapy with licensed counselors, available around the globe. If you feel stuck in life or something is blocking you from the change you want to make, try Better Help – simply fill out a survey and they will match you with a counselor within 24 hours. And if you want to help out this podcast, use our code and get 10% off your first month of therapy: visit TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe

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Ep 131: Working as a Creative + Sharing Yourself With the World Jun 20, 2020

This is an episode about whether to make your creative passion into your job and how to create for public consumption, especially if you are a sensitive person. I have had several people ask me about podcasting and how to get started in it. I have also mentored several people in creative fields – so this is a blend of what I have shared with those people. In sum this is for anyone making the decision to do creative work and how it should come about in your life so you can thrive. - - - - If you are currently struggling with your mental health and are interested in trying therapy, you can be paired with a therapist within 24 hours via your phone or computer. To get started, simply fill out a brief survey and you will be paired with a licensed counselor – and it’s free to switch if you don’t like the first one you get. For 10% off your first month of therapy and to support this show head to TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe

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Feeling Unstable: For Those Having a Hard Time Emotionally Processing Jun 04, 2020

This is an episode for those dealing with a fragile emotional state and they don’t know what to do with themselves. Who I am speaking to here are those who are overwhelmed and don’t know where to turn. The letters I am getting are not all related to one source of upheaval: Some of you are struggling to process anger and feelings of powerlessness over injustice. Some of you are struggling to deal with anxiety and sadness on top of anger and powerlessness. Some of you are feeling so many things that you feel as if you are going to break into a million pieces. Some of you feel useless and like nothing you do matters. Some of you are feeling lonely and overwhelmed by COVID and worried about the uncertainty of the future. And there is so much happening right now – so much emotional upheaval, on top of the isolation we are already suffering due to COVID, and the uncertainty of the future, there are the high levels of joblessness. There’s a lot of toxicity in the news and especially in social media right now. In short - there’s a lot to manage, understand and process - especially if you are already someone who suffers from anxiety or depression. And especially if you are someone who really cares about doing the right thing – and you feel unable to be active in that right now. A lot of you who have never experienced trauma or have never been pushed to your threshold as far as dealing with overwhelm and anxiety – now’s a difficult time to be going through that. Why? Because resources for self-soothing and grounding are limited due to COVID. So this episode is slightly different – first I will address those in an immediate state of “I feel like I’m going to explode or jump out a window!” Then I have some tools for the coming weeks for day to day negative thinking and anxiety. - - - - - - - - - - This episode is brought to you by Better Help – remote therapy with licensed counselors, which is a great option if you are emotionally overwhelmed right now. If you want to support this show and get 10% off your first month of therapy, head to TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe xo

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Audience Q&A’s: On the Fence About Having Kids (part 2) May 22, 2020

This is an episode that answers questions from the audience about fears around having kids, and since I am about to give birth to my second child, I thought it timely! It's a followup to an episode I did a few years back on the same topic. The questions I answer are as follows: 1. I love my life now, I’m afraid of not being able to do what I want when I want to do it. I’m also afraid of another being depending so critically on me. How do I know if I should have kids? 2. How will my anxiety be when I’m a parent? 3. What is it like to never have a break? How do you adjust and get through? 4. What joys of parenting have you found ground you? 5. What are the normal highs and lows and how do you ride them? For anyone new listening to this show, I am a regular person who has lived through a lot of random difficult shit and come out the other end pretty happy, high functioning, with healthy relationships. I am not a therapist or a scholar! So take what helps and leave the rest. A couple of books on this subject (and for once you have a baby) that I recommend are here: https://amzn.to/2yngOfy https://amzn.to/2LV5IBv https://amzn.to/2Zr4fLf https://amzn.to/2XinR1D - - - - - This show is brought to you by our latest sponsor: Better Help – licensed therapists you can see from the privacy of your couch! If you are interested in trying out therapy(at a lower cost), and you want to support this show, visit TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe for 10% off your first month of care. xo!

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Ep 130: Clinging Desperately to Relationships – Even When They’re Not Great May 09, 2020

This is an episode for if you have a painful obsession with an ex or a pervasive habit of fixating on relationships: they’re more important than job, personal time, family and friends. And often that relationship is one you know isn’t great – but you still obsess about that person, and it consumes your life. This might be especially painful during quarantine because you’re unable to distract yourself and do something about it. This is about putting yourself in ridiculously desperate positions, clinging to a relationship – even when you know it isn’t right for you. And that gush of fear, terror, loneliness, pain that overwhelms you and causes you to feel like you’d do ANYTHING to get someone to come back to you. It can make you act in crazy and degrading ways – but the pain of not having a person is too great. This was a request from a few different people (some of whom requested it quite a long time ago - so hopefully this is still helpful)!! The two books I mention in this episode are here: https://amzn.to/2SOD9d2 https://amzn.to/35IuJsU For more of my work and to make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com xo!

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Ep 129: Caregiver Burnout + Secondary Trauma: When the suffering of others gets to you Apr 21, 2020

If you are one of those people who are trying to make the world a better place and that process is taking a lot out of you – causing you vicarious trauma and a deeper kind of damage that affects your ability to continue to contribute to the good of others, then this is an episode for you! You might not even realize that this is happening to you – but maybe you have noticed that you exist in survival mode all the time and it has changed you. You might be irritable, exhausted, depressed, hopeless, overwhelmed, and thinking dark thoughts that you know are not right or appropriate for a healthy happy person to be thinking. If that sounds like you – this episode is a starting point. As with all of my episodes take what helps and leave the rest. I am just a regular person – I have no certificates whatsoever. So if you are suffering in a really bad way, please call 9-1-1 or your local emergency services. For more of my writing, to work with me, make a request or make a donation, head to Yaywithme.com xo And to read more on this topic check out this AMAZING book that is a reference for this research: https://amzn.to/2XY8lKn - - - - - - - - This episode is brought to you by Ned, maker of (awesome) organic CBD products! I very much enjoy these products and they’re made from very high-quality ingredients. Go to www.helloned.com/HELPMEBEME or enter HELPMEBEME at checkout for 15% off your first order plus FREE shipping. Thanks!

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Ep 128 : Totally Overwhelmed: Keeping Calm + Thinking Rationally Apr 07, 2020

This is an episode dedicated to self-regulation, if you are in and out of a state of panic, you get lost in your emotions, or perhaps even experiencing symptoms of trauma. Maybe you just lost someone – or your lost something, like your sense of security or your job. Or maybe you are fear-forecasting and feeling very overwhelmed by the outlook of the future – like figuring all of this out is impossible. This episode begins with a grounding exercise and ends with the 21-days-of-Happiness challenge. (I threw that in there because it’s an effective way to train your focus away from what’s wrong – so please don’t think I’m being flip by including it!) In between, there are a lot of tools for talking yourself back into a rational headspace. That said if you are feeling like you can't emotionally handle wherever you are right now, reach out to your local emergency services or check out this hotline: https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ I hope this helps you and if you’re looking for more of my work, head to YayWithMe.com xo! - - - - - - - - This episode is brought to you by Ned, maker of (awesome) organic CBD products! I very much enjoy these products and they’re made from very high-quality ingredients. Go to www.helloned.com/HELPMEBEME or enter HELPMEBEME at checkout for 15% off your first order plus FREE shipping. Thanks!

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Ep 127: Dealing with Overwhelming Stress, Anxiety + Worry due to COVID-19 Mar 24, 2020

This is anyone struggling with anxiety and worry right now – maybe you’re having a hard time being quarantined, maybe you are now out of work, or maybe you’re getting overwhelmed by reading the news because of the various effects of coronavirus. Whatever it is, if you find yourself in a seemingly endless state of stress and you are dooming and glooming, this is an episode for you. This episode has 3 parts but it’s mostly tools. And heads up – I couldn’t get into the recording studio thanks to said virus, so this one has a lot of background noise. Apologies in advance!! For more of my work and to make a donation you can head to YayWithMe.com or visit me on Patreon. Thanks! xo - - - - - - - - This episode is brought to you by Ned, maker of (awesome) organic CBD products! I very much enjoy these products and they’re made from very high-quality ingredients. Go to www.helloned.com/HELPMEBEME or enter HELPMEBEME at checkout for 15% off your first order plus FREE shipping. Thanks!

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Ep 126: Problems Oversharing in New Relationships Mar 10, 2020

This is an episode all about oversharing when you start a new relationship – consciously or unconsciously, and when that negatively affects your life. So for example – if you end up disclosing everything bad that has happened to you on a first date (romantic or friend), and you end up feeling naked and awkward after the fact. Or you find that you end up oversharing as a way to get people to pay attention to you – but this leads to relationships that are less than positive, on the whole in your life. As with all my episodes there are 3 parts – the what, the why, and the how – the tools. For more of my work and to make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com ! xo - - - - - - - - This episode is brought to you by Ned, maker of (awesome) organic CBD products! I very much enjoy these products and they’re made from very high quality ingredients. Go to www.helloned.com/HELPMEBEME or enter HELPMEBEME at checkout for 15% off your first order plus FREE shipping. Thanks!

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Audience Q&A’s: Dealing with Rejection Mar 01, 2020

In this episode, I am going to tackle a question from the audience (how to deal with rejection) and then go right into some tools! How to deal with rejection is a big one! It’s a muscle you have to intentionally grow. But quite literally it’s one of the most valuable muscles you can have because it means you move through life directly – with purpose, not guided by fear. It also means you grow exponentially. There are two pains in rejection: the loss of something imagined/the sadness of mourning. And second - the injury to ego. This second pain is the one that tends to fuck us up the most. Hopefully, I will offer you some tools for managing these pains and helping yourself move through rejection more quickly and positively, in the future! For more of my writing and to make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com or visit me on Patreon xo!

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Ep 125: Base-Level Self: When You're Acting Like a Person You Hate Feb 12, 2020

This is an episode all about when you are your base level self. When you are rude, hurtful, intentionally mean, aggressive or difficult with others. Or perhaps you are sad, clingy, manipulative and controlling. In other words, when you act in ways that make you feel really bad about yourself. These states of being usually come about when you are super overworked or stressed, or you’re sleep-deprived or hormonal¬– and you end up snapping at people you love. Regardless of the conditions that set it up, it’s a state of being that perpetuates more of itself via feelings of shame and self-blame. A vicious cycle! So included in this episode are tools to help you navigate out of that state and also retrain yourself if you habitually end up here. For more of my work, to make a request, or to make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com xo! - - - - - - - - This episode is brought to you by Ned, maker of (awesome) organic CBD products! I very much enjoy these products and they’re made from very high quality ingredients. Go to www.helloned.com/HELPMEBEME or enter HELPMEBEME at checkout for 15% off your first order plus FREE shipping. Thanks!

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Ep 124: Living From the Neck Up - When You’re Not as Happy as You “Should be” Jan 29, 2020

This is an episode all about when we start living life from our routine of “should’s” versus stopping to ask ourselves whether or not we are happy. When we get into a machine mode, going through the motions – we are on an autopilot of sorts. We are only operating from the neck up. This is when our life’s decisions are based on what we think we should do based on whatever particular responsibilities we have during that time. Yes, the brain is what serves us most in terms of survival – but it can lead us into a state of emptiness and resent if we don’t stop to listen to our heart and gut, too! (If you’re a caregiver who is not as happy as you think you “should be” based on everything you have, this is an episode for you – too!) For more of my work, to make a request, or to make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com xo! - - - - - - - - This episode is brought to you by Ned, maker of (awesome) organic CBD products! I very much enjoy these products and they’re made from very high quality ingredients. Go to www.helloned.com/HELPMEBEME or enter HELPMEBEME at checkout for 15% off your first order plus FREE shipping. Thanks!

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Ep 123: Giving Up on Change + Feeling Stuck Jan 13, 2020

This is an episode for anyone who feels like self-help and steps toward personal growth haven’t worked for them and they likely won’t. Maybe that’s because you feel alienated by most of the content out there, or maybe that’s because you feel like all the change you try to make does nothing: you just can’t win. Or maybe you feel like you haven’t made enough progress in your life in the areas that matter most to you: relationships, self-control, career success, happiness, confidence… etc. So you just feel stuck in a rut. Or maybe you just feel resentful toward all the people who seem to apply self-help easily to their lives. You might think….Self-help doesn’t work for me. I never can change, I don’t take the steps, I don’t read the books. I am royally fucked in my issues – I don’t see them going away anytime soon. Most people don’t resonate with me or “get” my issues. This is also for you if you are in a place where nothing seems to work for you – if you want to believe all the touchy-feely optimistic stuff but in the past it hasn’t worked for you. Maybe you are staring at your gratitude jar and saying “Why me? Why won’t things work out for me?” As with most of my episodes, there are three parts - the what the why and the how the tools. To read more of my work, see the products and services I offer, and to make a donation head to YayWithMe.com xo!

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A Self-Awareness Reflection as You Start the New Year Jan 05, 2020

This is a set of journal prompts for you to reflect on as you orient yourself for the year and reflect back on the years previous. This is what I have done and I got a lot out of it. I think you will, too. I like it because it draws on data while really bringing out more of what’s positive. It matters WHY you do something – because if you don’t really want to in your heart of hearts, it’s much harder to do it. These are reflections that allow you to set goals focused on what has made you the happiest. I hope you enjoy it and happy 2020! If you have any requests, comments or to make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com xo

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Ep 122: Shame and Trauma: Unseen Bruises that Define Self Dec 23, 2019

Shame and trauma cannot be separated – they are incredibly interwoven. The reason I created this episode is shame is virtually unavoidable if you’ve been through a trauma and often times the shame is even harder to process and heal from. Why? Shame is an unseen self-authoring wound. It creates a whole slew of behaviors because we are tasked with carrying it – and as you are aware, shame is toxic. In order for us to contain it we need a wide buffer: a padding between it and consciousness. However, the way we create this is often very damaging and shame-inducing. So it’s a domino effect. And so most people avoid it for many years – why? It is too painful for us to look at. It’s also painful for others – if it tells you anything it’s often also avoided by therapists, because of how much discomfort it causes. So this is really just an entry-level exploration of possible shame in your person. Inspired by my own recent enlightenments. They happen the tiniest bit at a time. I also have some reading for you on the topic: Book 1 (for mindfulness intro): https://amzn.to/378upTT Book 2 (for more about shame/trauma): https://amzn.to/2sjyfuz reference for this piece: https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/epdf/10.1002/anzf.1275 For comments, requests and to make a donation head to yaywithme.com Yay.

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Ep 121: Inner Dialogues: When Others Trigger Us + We Get Stuck in Our Heads Dec 11, 2019

If you are one of those people who debates things in your mind endlessly, shuts down, isolates – this is for you. This is for you only if you find that this is causing you issues in your communication with others, difficulty in your relationships or perhaps you notice that it's affecting your confidence. This might be especially relevant for anyone out there who is heading back home for the holidays – if you return to your family of origin, all sorts of old drama can come up. You become a very sensitive organ reacting to very old wounds. There’s a lot in here about triggering family members and how to negotiate that situation. Shout out to two listeners in particular! Hope this helps! Xox For more of my work and to make a donation head to YayWithMe.com xo!

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Ep 120: Study Your Inner Scripts + Negative Self-Talk Oct 26, 2019

By scripts I am talking self-judgment. Negative self-talk. The things we perceive inside our heads – that tell us how to act and dictate what we believe about ourselves. We all have things we believe about ourselves and how we are perceived. However, there’s something very different that is experienced by the outside world. This episode is calling attention to that gap and examining whether or not it’s working for or against you. Because you can change everything in your life by changing how you interpret it! If you want to check it out – this is the book that inspired this episode: https://amzn.to/31PUyU8 For more of my work and to make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com xo!

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Ep 119: Emotional Spending + self-soothing habits that hurt Oct 18, 2019

This is an episode about the self-soothing habits that we have that do not help us. For some that is online shopping. For some that is eating. And for some that is getting likes or getting hit on. What these have in common is they don’t fulfill us or make us feel whole. They actually end up making us feel an ever-increasing void where it matters most: on the inside. For more of my writing, to ask a question, and to make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com or visit Patreon.com/sarahmayb Xox! To check out an article with more info about shopping addiction, head here: https://www.elle.com/fashion/shopping/a41845/shopping-dopamine/

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Ep 118: Being Treated Like Crap – What to do, how much to take Sep 17, 2019

This is for anyone has a person in their life who is mistreating them. For example, let’s say you have an in-law who treats you like a punching bag, or your partner is hurting your feelings on a daily basis, or you have a volatile sibling who speaks to you terribly. It can be really disorienting, especially if you’ve been taking this for a really long time. Plus, with intimate relationships there’s often a trade-off that makes this even more complicated: if this relationship also provides you with rent, or your spouse doesn’t share your hurt perspective – you might feel guilty about having the feelings that you have. Caveat: this topic has some overlap with domestic violence but I am not addressing people who are victims of domestic violence. Why? Because in your situation, your physical safety is of primary concern and some of the tools I am offering might threaten that safety. For you I recommend you head to: thehotline.org or google your local domestic violence resource. And know that if you are in a relationship that you have been unable to leave – then know that it’s HARD but it’s not impossible. I’ve read that it takes an average of 7 to 8 times to leave – so whatever you do, don’t give up. As with all my episdes, there are three parts – the what, why and how the tools. To make a donation and for more of my work, head to YayWithMe.com xo!

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Ep 117: Self-Care + Mental Maintenance: Building Your House Right Aug 16, 2019

This was inspired by a friend of mine saying, “I’m not too many steps from a crazy person.” That really resonated with me – because it’s true. When life unravels, it’s really easy – and rapid – to get to a point of being completely leveled. Where we have no tools, where we are grasping, begging, underfoot, feeling desperate and worthless. Or crazy. Or like a mess, like life is a mess – like we fucked everything up. No one loves us, etc. So this is a preventative episode about “building your mental house right” – and you’ll hear more about that in the episode. I hope you enjoy! The book I talk about in this episode that I recommend if you are curious (but unsure) about therapy is here: https://amzn.to/33HcEtJ As with all my episodes – take what helps and leave the rest. I am not a doctor or a professional of any kind. I am a regular person who wants to help. You know you best. If you liked this episode and you would like to make a donation to support this podcast, head to YayWithMe.com and click donate or visit Patreon.com/SarahMayB xo!!

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Ep: 116 Chronic Emptiness & Depression: The Body’s Way of Mourning Life Jul 20, 2019

Hi friends!! Apologies for the lag in postings…I have had some super intense hours as of late. But it will lighten up very soon. This is an episode all about the deeper and perhaps more logical causes of depression and anxiety. It’s inspired by a book I just read – which is BRILLIANT. Link at the bottom of the notes. Here’s the gist: Depression and anxiety are both forms of disconnection. We are cut off from things we need as humans – they are basic needs that we don’t realize we have. Because we live in the bubble of culture! You don’t realize how much that culture affects your world view and your habits; the thoughts and feelings you about yourself. If you want to do an experiment to see how conditioned you are by the various facets of culture, I invite you to watch a movie from 10 years ago. We don’t realize the messages we are receiving all the time and the power of those messages. A lot of our cultural depression is a literal mourning of consistent life experiences that we are meant to have– things that are vital to our baseline as humans. These needs aren’t being properly recognized, addressed, and or processed. I think – because a lot of people don’t know how REAL and NECESSARY they are! Back in the day, life was kind of set up around these basic needs – we had smaller villages where everyone had a role, and you were close to your family. Community networks kind of sustained everyone in these really core human needs. The isolation that we now experience – paired with the focus on external possessions really keeps us all in a state of chasing. So if you are struggling with a sense of chronic emptiness and you cannot see a logical cause, this episode is for you. And more importantly – this book is for you – it’s called “Lost Connections.” https://amzn.to/2SxK4WM For more of my work, to send comments, or make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com – and as with all my episodes – take what helps and leave the rest!! I am not a professional. I’m just a gal who wants to help. xox

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Tools for Self-Regulation: Staying in the “Chill Zone” Jun 10, 2019

Hi peeps, this is a way to make sure you’re keeping yourself functioning at an optimal level – and not getting stuck in a stressed/triggered state or a low/depressed state. It’s basically how to widen your capacity for resiliency via grounding yourself in moments you are getting out of whack. This one is based on a lengthy training I had and it’s meant to be done in person - one-on-one, so hopefully it translates somewhat! If you need more information about this one, please let me know and I’ll post a part 2. For more of my work or to make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com xo!

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Ep 115: How to deal with people who trigger you May 31, 2019

This is for anyone who get triggered around a family member or other person in their life, but you have decided that you want to continue to be around this person – despite this trigger. So really – these are management tools for tolerating these interactions. This is from a listener who has to endure some triggers around a family member. When this person is there, they feel drained and irritated – so these are some tools for a similar situation. This is a very difficult (and sadly, common) experience – the gist is how to manage the experience of being around a triggering person if you’re still working on your shit in therapy. As with all my episodes – three parts: What, why and how the tools. If you’d like to see more of my writing or make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com xo!

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Self-Advocacy: Tips for Growth in the Workplace May 08, 2019

Ways to represent your best self in work and in life. Tips for asking for a raise, evolving within your workplace and growing your confidence professionally. This is more geared toward individuals who work within a company versus being your own boss. For more of my work head to YayWithMe.com xo! Here's a good article on things to think about before having a raise/promotion conversation with a boss: https://www.business.com/articles/salary-negotiation-tips-how-to-ask-for-and-get-a-raise/

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Ep 114: Painful Perfectionism Apr 20, 2019

You might not realize that you are a perfectionist. You might just think you have a high bar and believe in excellence. A lot of perfectionists think that there’s nothing wrong about their high standards. And I would agree with them – unless you are robbing yourself of health, wellness, and happiness. By that I mean – are you unknowingly running yourself into the ground? OR are you possibly robbing yourself of enjoyment and balance in life? Perfectionism is like a helmet you wear through life because it alters your experience of everything: it alters how you feel, how you behave, and what you can appreciate. As with all my episodes – remember I am a regular person. No degrees or expertise. This is just my opinion, so take what helps and leave the rest! To make a donation and to see more of my work head to YayWithMe.com xo!

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Managing Stress & Avoiding Burnout Apr 01, 2019

This is a powerup for anyone who is burned out or about to be burned out – currently getting super overwhelmed by their schedule and they’re starting to freak out. A lot of the reason we start to freak out is we get stuck in a state of anticipation: we start to foreshadow negative consequences, imagining how bad something will be – we actively live suffering in our minds. What I want to remind you of is your actual physical moment is quite different. When you are stressed out and overwhelmed in this actual moment – it looks very different. If you want to make a donation or check out more of my work visit YayWithMe.com xo!

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Ep 113: How to Stop Being a Controller Mar 04, 2019

This is for anyone who is struggling with attempting to control others and/or obsessing about things in their own life, for example predicting future events and what they can do about them. The best part of this episode is def the tools! So if you're curious and also impatient, skip to part 3 - the tools. This is a request from a listener– it’s somewhat related to the self-sabotage podcast. The listener pointed out that when you are self-sabotaging you are attempting to control what will be – because the anxiety is too great. Once you know this is happening for you, how do you let go of the future and stop trying to control it? It’s a toughy, but I’m going to do my best! The audiobook I mention in this episode can be found here: https://amzn.to/2VGMySY For comments, to make a donation or to read more of my work, head to YayWithMe.com xo!

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Ep 112: Dating Anxiety – How to deal when your brain stops working Feb 15, 2019

This is for anyone out there who is dating and they are struggling with letting go of the people who don’t text you back. It’s also for anyone who is dating someone you think you really like – and because of the rarity of that, you’re freaking the fuck out because you don’t know what to say or do and you don’t want to misstep. So – it’s for the mind-boggling stage of dating where nothing makes sense and there seems to be no structure or logic and you feel like a crazy person with no power. And every decision is decided by the focus group that is your friend group. This one is for Ty (‘s friend). Hope this helps! As with all my podcasts take what helps and leave the rest. xo If you are in this demographic and you’re struggling I recommend reading these two books– (at least) the first 3 chapters of this: https://amzn.to/2E9RtWL And this (but replace pronouns where appropriate): https://amzn.to/2NbzCla If the tone turns you off, I get it! But I would read it/listen to it regardless because it’s a good synthesis of very basic/clear information. To make a donation or to find more of my work, visit YayWithMe.com xox!

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Ep 111: How to Tell if You’re Dating a Narcissist Jan 27, 2019

Do you feel like you lost all power and autonomy in your new relationship? Are you always wrong, apologizing, groveling? Does it feel like you’re on drugs because of how intoxicating this person is? Do you obsess about them and yet you also kind of loathe dating them? Then you might be in a relationship with a narcissist. This is inspired by a listener and I thought it might be helpful to someone out there. And heads up - this is all information that is widely available out there on the interwebs so if you want to know more, give it a quick google – there are tons of resources. Here are a few books that I like if you want to dive deeper: Book 1: https://amzn.to/2MxkBd3 Book 2: https://amzn.to/2Mz4BqO And a book recommended by a listener (which I haven't read yet, but looks promising): https://amzn.to/2RW4ZFC To make request, see more of my work and to make a donation head to YayWithMe.com xo

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Ep 110: Owning Your Power - A New Years Reflection Exercise Jan 10, 2019

A reflection process for guiding your life versus your life living you. Happy New Year! I wanted to invite all of you to do a check in with yourself and your life – to see if you are happy, and specifically whether or not you are living it with the right “ratio.” Think of this like a screentime analysis of your life. I want you to grab your journal because we are going to reflect on specifics of what makes you the happiest. There are 3 parts. The first part is a journal reflection with 10 questions. The second part is an assignment to ensure you’re starting 2019 off on the inspired foot. The third part is a strength-building exercise for maintaining your best self. I hope you enjoy! If you’d like to check out more of my work or to make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com Xo!

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Aud Q&A’s: How to Stick to a Breakup When You Feel Weak and Confused Dec 19, 2018

This is a combo Q&A episode all about how to deal with the pain and courage needed to deal with a breakup. Four people had questions about leaving a relationship and struggling with that decision. The questions are as follows: >> How can especially sensitive people stand by their decision to leave a relationship and resist urges to go back and try harder? >> What are some healthy ways to deal with intense nostalgia when it strikes and convinces you that you left a perfect relationship? >>Despite knowing this person is not right for me, my brain goes into survival mode and has this insane desperation to continue to reach out and repair. Also is hard to see red flags when you’re in it; hindsight is 20/20 >>Is it possible to stop loving someone when you don’t want to love them anymore? I already consciously decided to leave the relationship I’m currently in but the thought of actually initiating a break up literally sounds like the worst thing ever. The book I think will help that I mention during the episode can be found here: https://amzn.to/2SaZr6f For more of my writing, to make a donation and to purchase The Break-Up Album, head to YayWithMe.com xo!

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Audience Q&A's: How to Deal with Self-Doubt Around Applying for Jobs Nov 30, 2018

In this episode I answer the audience question: Do you any tips on what to do about "social anxiety" around applying for a new job? I get overwhelmed every time I apply, feeling that I’m not enough and that I’ll hate the job when I get it… For helpful resources around this issue check out this book: https://amzn.to/2Qwq73O And for skills around this issue, check out this book: https://amzn.to/2Qs4kdx For more of my writing and to make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com xo

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Audience Q&A: Questioning Worth & Life Decisions Nov 20, 2018

Hi friends, in this Q&A episode I answer just one question from a college student about how to accept yourself when you're not feeling confident in life. So if you're starting out in your adult life and you feel like a fraud, this is for you! If you want to check out more of my writing or to make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com and have a happy holiday xo!

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Ep 109: Breaking Up with Ed - overcoming a binge-eating disorder Oct 31, 2018

This is a biggie, and the subject is not simple - however, I am going to try and chip off a small piece of the iceberg that is the issue of disordered eating. Because disordered eating is rampant in today’s society! It’s like the more we focus on ourselves, the more we pick those selves apart, and the more disconnected from our bodies and what they need, we become. What I’m covering is how to begin the process of conquering a binge-eating disorder – whether that’s just binging or binging and purging. I think it will still apply to you if you suffer from any disordered eating but it’s a request from someone asking specifically about binging. If you are on the fence about whether or not this episode will apply to you – I’ll ask you this: Are you trapped in a cycle of obsession that occupies a majority of your time and worry? Are you constantly fixated on the scale? Do you find yourself constantly needing to exercise for fear you won’t burn enough calories today? Are you living your life – or is the routine of thinking and feeling and worrying, living you? If you feel like you have a fulltime job called monitoring-my-body, then I think you’ll get something out of this episode. A few links from the episode… A few books I would like to recommend if you do suffer from this issue: https://amzn.to/2DtHxbc https://amzn.to/2Dsx1RA https://amzn.to/2SWlRJf A doctor who works with (and has cured) people who suffer from diabetes: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joel_Fuhrman

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Detaching From Ego & Connecting to Higher Self Oct 24, 2018

This is a power-up episode just to invite you all to become familiar with the mind machine. The “computer” that helps us, keeps us driven and safe – but at times also hurts us – in that it reduces us to a base-level self. That self that feels small and wounded when we feel slighted, or mean and bitey when we feel judgmental. The goal of this is really just to become familiar with its tendencies so that you might you’re your choices despite it when it is not serving you. By "it" I mean your inner narrative. Because yes, you are a thinking being – but you are much more than your thoughts. Your thoughts are a thing that happens to you in you’re your body. You are the passive observer behind them. When we are overly identified with our thoughts – this can bring about a lot of pain. It’s much less painful when we can remind ourselves in the moment that it’s optional – and dis-indentify with the thinking in that moment. SO here’s what this power-up is. An explanation combined with a series of thought-exercises to do so you can get to know your ego as an entity separate from yourself.

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Ep 108: Ghosting – Why’d it happen & what to do if it happens to you Oct 03, 2018

This is for the person who got ghosted, not the person who ghosts. Contrary to how it feels, a lot of thought can go into ghosting. It could be something that someone debates and replays in their mind for weeks on end. The decision to ghost comes from a very specific place. It’s not “I don’t care at all” it’s more, “I don’t know what to say…” As in all my episodes, there are three parts – the what, why and how – the tools. This one’s for Bryan! For more of my work including the blog versions of my podcasts, head to YayWithMe.com To make a donation you can visit YayWithMe.com/donate or find me on Patreon.com/SarahMayB

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Ep 107: Kicking a Toxic Love - Relationship Withdrawals Sep 12, 2018

This is for anyone who’s in the throws of getting over a really toxic and yet, addictive relationship. I would otherwise call it the rock bottom part of your relationship loop. Maybe you’ve known this was not a good relationship for you for a very long time but you were always too terrified to leave it. Yet now that you’re mid-escape, you feel crippled by the intense pain that’s been brought on by it. If that sounds like you – first of all I want to say – get to a therapist’s office, stat. This can be a really scary thing to go through without support. Now of all times, it can be really helpful to even try meds to take the edge off. If you feel like you can’t handle your sich – dial 9-11. That’s the simplest tool. And second, know that this will not be forever – even though that’s what your feelings tell you, right now. It’s just gonna suck for a little while. You’re in the thick of it, right now. The only way to move is up. Here are some tools to help you start heading there. The book (The Five Second Rule) I mentioned in this episode can be found here: https://amzn.to/2x8pUZa For more of my writing and to make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com xo!

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21 Days of Happiness Challenge Aug 29, 2018

Hi peeps! This is an oldy but a goody. I posted this on my blog like 6 years ago but since someone requested, I thought I would throw it out again and also do the challenge myself. This is appropriated from a TedTalk by Shawn Achor - if you want to hear more about it you can watch that here: https://www.ted.com/talks/shawn_achor_the_happy_secret_to_better_work?language=en For more of my writing and to make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com Join me - this is my Day 1! xoxoxo!

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The Self-Care Tools I Use the Most(Currently) Aug 15, 2018

Hi friends, this is a special power-up episode – it’s basically a list of my favorite and most frequently used tools as of late. I’m just going go through them in list format. If you’re in need of some tools for happiness, compassion, self-awareness, confidence, and energy-tuning – this is an episode for you. For anyone interested, here are the books and authors I mentioned: A book where you can find more of John Gottman’s principles: https://amzn.to/2vM4fGb A book about Loving What Is: https://amzn.to/2vN7z3K A book for fun and joy-tuning by Pam Grout: https://amzn.to/2OBeFzj If you want to check out more of my work and to make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com xo!

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Ep 106: Fear of Intimacy + Commitment Jul 29, 2018

In this episode I talk about why people are afraid of intimacy and commitment – and I do it for both sides of the relationship: the fearers and the chasers. So this is for anyone who was in a happy in a relationship and then their partner started distancing as soon as things got close. It’s ALSO for anyone who can’t seem to stay in a committed relationship and you don’t know why you find yourself bailing as soon as someone starts to like you. This is something I see often in my One-on-One’s and I thought it warranted a podcast episode. And because I am directing this at two audiences, I jump back and forth between who I am identifying with. So sorry in advance if that gets annoying. I don’t want one side to feel left out. As per usual there are three parts: the what, why and how the tools. To make a donation and see more of my writing head to YayWithMe.com My references and your recommended reading: For Huskies: Mindsight https://amzn.to/2AjEkKN The Self-Sabotage Cycle https://amzn.to/2LsQrds For Cubs: Attached https://amzn.to/2NQ8tTQ Men Who Can’t Love https://amzn.to/2K3MGpa

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Audience Q&A’s: Partner With Boundary Issues + Unrequited Love Jul 04, 2018

Hi friends, today I answer two questions – the first is about dealing with a partner who has boundary issues with a person who is infatuated with them. The second is about dealing with unrequited love – basically, how to confront saying goodbye to someone if you’re friends and in love with them. If you’d like to ask a question or to make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com xo!

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Ep 105: Inner Unworthiness + Self-Judgment Jun 09, 2018

This is for anyone who feels not good enough, like a failure. Maybe you feel like you wasted your life, money, time, heart, career, 20’s, 30’s, fill in the blank. This feeling of not knowing who you are – not knowing why you’re behind everyone else, why you can’t seem to build a life that makes you happy – and it comes with an itchy state of discomfort with self. A constant narrative of self-judgment – the voice that isolates you and makes you feel worthless and like you need to escape social situations or at the very least have something expensive or exotic to talk about otherwise everyone will see what a loser you are. Maybe you’re one of those people who feels like their skin is crawling when they’re around happy and beautiful people: you look at other people and think – they’re so much skinnier, smarter, funnier, happier or ____than I am. Whatever the voice in your head says, this one's for you if you're hating on yourself and your life path. For more of my work and to make a donation head to YayWithMe.com ! xo References: https://www.goodtherapy.org/learn-about-therapy/types/voice-therapy

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Audience Q&A’s: What to do - BF cheating on Grindr + Ghosted after job loss May 22, 2018

Today I answer two audience questions: the first from a guy who caught his BF sexting on Grindr, and he doesn’t know how to move forward. The second, a girl who got ghosted by her love of her life right after semi-losing her job – now she’s overwhelmed and panicking about life and where to go from here. Hang in there guys - I hope this helps and the book I mention for Fred is linked below: https://amzn.to/2IEh5ib For more of my writing and to make a donation head to YayWithMe.com

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Ep 104: Messy Loss: How to approach the death of someone you've had lots of conflict with May 04, 2018

This is all about how to deal with the loss of a person who has been very difficult in your life: the pros and cons of getting “closure” and if that’s right for you. Hi friends, today I am talking with one of my besties, Leila, about loss and impending loss – and basically, how to prepare yourself mentally for the loss of someone you have a lot of mixed feelings about. I am going to loosely structure this in 3 parts – since it’s more of a conversation. So in short, a relationship you have protected yourself from – because it’s toxic, and now you have to deal with the fact that you are losing this person – and that brings up all the unfinished shit from growing up. Hope it helps!! If you have any questions, or to make a donation, you can find me at YayWithMe.com xo!

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Curbing Smartphone Addiction & FOMO Apr 25, 2018

Hi peeps! This is a “Digital Diet Challenge” all about creating mental space for yourself and checking any harmful habits you might have around smartphones and social media. I challenge everyone to take a stab at this. I want to preface this by saying this isn’t about removing smartphones and social media – it’s just about becoming aware of how you are feeling in reaction to it. I hope this helps! For more of my writing and to make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com xo! The study I mentioned is here: http://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/2167702617723376 A podcast about this topic is here: http://www.abc.net.au/radionational/programs/allinthemind/the-kids-of-today/9637570

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Ep 103: How to Keep Your Balance During Times of Life Chaos and Hardship Apr 12, 2018

This is for anyone who’s going through a stage in life when they are necessarily dealing with a shit-storm of really difficult responsibilities. Like life has demanded you put yourself on “managing mode” and you have to take care of others for an extended period of time. Or maybe you can’t attend to your normal self-care routine and haven’t been able to for a while, and you’re barely just dealing with the day to day – as of now. This is really for you to listen to, to remember yourself and remember where you are and feel your own hands and feet and feel okay. And more importantly – ways to take a breather and check in with yourself, in the hopes of bringing a tiny bit more balance back into the equation. This one was a request from a listener from a while back - hope it helps! For more of my writing and to make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com or visit me on Patreon.com/SarahMayB xo!

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Audience Q&A: How to Build Positive Friendships Mar 25, 2018

Hi friends! This one’s about building healthy friendships and relationships and how do you know if a relationship is healthy or toxic. This one’s for Heather! This is a great topic, it’s something I had to think long and hard about at one point in my life so I made you all a list of what to look for. For more of my writing and to make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com xo Sarah May B.

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Audience Q&A: Painful Infatuation, Feeling Empty & Lost, Needing Instant Friends Mar 03, 2018

In this episode I answer three different audience questions. The first, how to stop obsessing about a person after a single date – and the other person doesn’t want you back. Second, how to deal with feeling empty and lost – like the shell of a person. Third, how to stop forcing instant closeness with new friends – including oversharing. This one’s for: “Hijacked with infatuation,” “Lost” and “Instant Besty.” The links I mention in this episode include: The book The Depression Cure: http://amzn.to/2F9PCPv The fish oil I take in DHA: http://amzn.to/2tecCvb and EPA: http://amzn.to/2oIX1iH The Lily Pad podcast episode: https://soundcloud.com/helpmebeme/episode-44-personal-priorities-pond-a-self-esteem-building-exercise And to make a donation or read the blog version of this podcast, head to YayWithMe.com xo! Sarah May B.

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Ep 102: Why Won't He Sleep With Me? When Relationships Become Sexless Feb 16, 2018

This is a request I got from a couple of female listeners, and I address their issue directly – so heads up, this is based on hetero relationships between a guy and a girl and the guy is the one who doesn’t want to have sex. That said, I believe you can translate this to your partnership based on the traits you share with the examples I will discuss. If you want to know more about something I do not address, reach out with an email and I’ll tack it onto the next episode (info@yaywithme.com). Most importantly, know that this is not intended to be reductive to anyone or their lifestyle – it’s meant to be helpful. Also, there’s not a whole lot of reading on this subject that I could find, so if you have some recommendations, please also reach out and lmk! I will announce up front that this deals with gender roles and therefore it’s going to generalize. I know that in my reading I found myself getting angry at several valid ideas. I am not trying to make anyone feel worse, OR tell you what is “right” “correct” or “normal” for a man and woman to be, obvi – so if you feel offended by things that reinforce gender roles, take what helps and leave the rest! End of disclaimer! If you want to make a donation or to read the blog versions of this podcast, head to YayWithMe.com or visit me on Patreon.com/SarahMayB – thanks! xo

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Look Forward to the New Year – A Journal Reflection Exercise Jan 26, 2018

Listen to this one with your journal in-hand! This is similar to the one I gave last year, but it’s basically a super fun journal exercise to help you focus your attention on what you love and want more of in the new year, moving forward. And yes – it’s intentionally not something I posted new years day! Hope you enjoy it! If you want more of my writing or to make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com

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Ep 101: How to Find Your Passion & Choose a Career Path Jan 10, 2018

In honor of the new year, this is all about finding your passion – facing feelings of anxiety and anticipation about the future and also what factors to consider when choosing a career path. This one is for Seema and Aja. Thanks for the topic suggestion!

“The Passion Test” book I mentioned is here: http://amzn.to/2mkWYre

The slashies episode I mentioned is here: https://soundcloud.com/helpmebeme/episode-51-we-are-the-slashies-5-ways-to-grow-as-a-working-creative

The Freakonomics episode I mentioned is here: https://www.wnyc.org/story/how-become-great-just-about-anything/

For more of my writing and to make a donation head to YayWithMe.com

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Audience Q&A's: How to Trust Your Gut + Stop Focusing on Expectations of Others Dec 17, 2017

Hi friends, in this episode I answer two questions. One: "How do you trust your gut if you struggle with anxiety and perfectionistic overthinking - if your thinking gets you into messes all the time? Should you believe what other people say about you - even if you don't agree with them?" Two: "How do you stop focusing on the expectations of others, while in a relationship? I find that I neglect my needs and often focus on what I think I should do to make another person happy." For more of my work and to make a donation visit YayWithMe.com The Melodie Beattie book I mention in this episode is here: http://amzn.to/2k3jvZm The podcast I mentioned is here: https://soundcloud.com/helpmebeme/episode-44-personal-priorities-pond-a-self-esteem-building-exercise

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Ep 100: How to Deal with Getting an STD Dec 03, 2017

This is for anyone who is coping with the aftermath of finding out they have an STD and what that means for you as an individual. There are some great articles on this topic – some from people who seem to be super successfully living with STD’s. I will link to those in the blog version of this post, all of which live on YayWithMe.com – along with The Break-Up Album – a breakup coach in a podcast album. There are some tools about how to have that conversation with a potential partner. How to still believe you have a chance at finding your happy with a partner. I wanted to also cover the side of this topic that has to do with your personal feelings about yourself. Because I think that’s one of the hardest parts. How we change this moment into a major meaningful milestone that somehow redefines who we are. This one is for a listener. Thank you for request! It’s a great one. With that there are 3 parts: the what, why and how – the tools! References: https://goo.gl/xff7Mw https://goo.gl/e47UYF https://goo.gl/QUAB4D https://goo.gl/Z6jmub https://goo.gl/ZHuW1Z https://goo.gl/SXqs9p https://goo.gl/cmQMRR

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Audience Q&A's: How to Deal with the Pain of Future Loss + Repeatedly Being Broken Up With Nov 18, 2017

This is an episode answering two questions – the first: how do you deal with real fears and awareness of imminent pain, for example – the pain of a future loss of a loved one, or the fear over the current situation in the world. The second question: how do you deal with the pain of wanting someone who has broken up with you multiple times. Is it okay to go on Tinder and hookup with other people – just to help get over them? For more of my writing, to make a donation and to purchase The Break-Up Album, head to YayWithMe.com xo Sarah May B.

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Ep 99: Constructive Criticism: How to Grow a Thicker Skin as a Creative Person Oct 27, 2017

How to take constructive criticism well, specifically, when it comes to creative endeavors. That means hearing it, taking it in and doing something with it, without it triggering you emotionally – which can change what the criticism means to you. Like when you feel you should defend yourself, or you automatically feel like a failure, or your desire to please the person outweighs the creative truth. So if you are a creative of any kind and you have a hard time hearing constructive criticism this one’s for you! This is a topic request and heads up it has some baby ambient noise as it’s recorded from my maternity leave. This one’s for Catherine. Thank you for the request and your generous donation. It’s truly how I am able to do this work. People like you. xo For more of my work or to make a donation you can visit Yaywithme.com

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Unsure About Having Kids: Help Making Big Life Decisions Oct 11, 2017

This is a power-up for ambivalence about a big life decision – like leaving a relationship, trying a new career or having a baby! This is a power-up episode structured like a conversation between you and me. This is about how to decide whether or not to have a baby, but I also think it could apply to any issue. So if you’re on the fence about kids and you’re running out of time – this is for you. And I know that this is a polarizing topic – so if you listen to this, know that it’s a personal opinion, not a "should" – and i do not believe my opinion is better than others. So don’t take offense to anything I say and if it doesn’t feel right for you, leave it. It has the potential to bring up some weird feelings in some people – especially if you have issues with childhood and parents – so that is my big fat caveat. Heads up - this topically leans more toward women! For more of my writing or to make a donation, check out Yaywithme.com xo!

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My Life Hurts: When A Problem is Really, Really Bad Sep 29, 2017

This is about when life becomes unmanageable – for example there’s a condition that threatens your sanity and it gets to the point that you are in serious discomfort. This is when you are feeling hopeless and overwhelmed and in a state of action-paralysis. When you don’t know how to help yourself, you are in a state of fretting. Feeling overwhelmed and unable to think past how bad things are. So if you are in that state – feeling dread and hopelessness, this is for you. Hopefully the short increment will allow it to be applicable to you in those moments – so first things first. I want you to grab a paper and a pen. From this moment right now, you cannot see the solution but no matter how bad things are or have been for a long time – something that will help – exists. Part of the paralysis is believing in the sense of hopelessness because when actions don’t impact your outcome repeatedly, we learn to believe it. We believe it’s hopeless until it’s not. The trick is to take the pain ONE notch down from what you’re in now. When it comes to really dire, hopeless situations – chronic ones, you need dramatic big change. More than a simple tweak. More than a podcast. You need a big leap. You can’t do this all on your own – you need to involve reinforcements. Today’s podcast is dedicated to Catherine. Catherine your donation has literally changed my life – I hope I am able to repay you in some small way. For more of my work or to make a donation, visit YayWithMe.com xo Sarah May B.

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Healing a Possibly Scarring Experience Into a Resilience Booster Sep 12, 2017

A shorthand version of changing a trauma or hurt from a scar into a medal. I’ve covered this in other episodes but I thought it would be helpful in this format - it's condensed for in-the-moment application. I used these steps myself recently and it works! So this is if anyone has had something really traumatic happen to them that hurts them and you can tell it’s one of those sore spots that makes you cry really hard. I want you to practice these steps around that experience as soon as it has happened. It will likely have to do with your powerlessness in the face of something excruciating – and your inability to change that. For more of my work including the blog version of this podcast, head to YayWithMe.com To donate head to Yaywithme.com/donate

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Ep 98: Resilience for Codependents and Those Experiencing Adult Hardships Aug 31, 2017

When we don’t feel safe, we tend to panic. Especially if you lack the innate knowledge that you will be okay. So when external events happen that take our sense of safety away – it can lead you into a state of intense suffering that then deepens into a state of hopelessness. This is when external hardship is really damaging. However – you can foster an innate sense of resilience – by practicing steps and thoughts despite yourself. So if you are in that state, of if you want to preempt it – here are some steps for you to take. If you want to read more of my writing, to make a donation, and for more helpful resources, check out YayWithMe.com

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Ep 97: Improv Therapy- Being Awesomely Yourself w/ Billy Merritt of Upright Citizens Brigade Theater Aug 06, 2017

Today I have to honor of speaking with Billy Merritt, actor, writer, improviser– and one of the founding fathers of The Swarm at The Upright Citizens Brigade, an improv comedy theater and school, well known in LA and NY. Today we are going to talk about lots of things – but in particular, how the tools of improv can help you be more present and comfortable in your own skin on and off the stage. For more about Billy, check out The Smokes - Monday at UCB Franklin in Los Angeles or The Swarm, the first Saturday of every month at UCB Sunset, or find him on Twitter @BillyMerritt Heads up! We got cut off during our first recording session so you'll hear the sound change as we pick back up about half way through. Sorry if we repeat a few things - but I think you'll enjoy nonetheless! To work with me or to find more of my writing and podcasts, check out Yaywithme.com

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Audience Q&A's: What To Do if You’re Stuck and Passionless, Stuck and Hopeless, Stuck and Friendless Jul 28, 2017

Hi friends, in this episode I answer 3 questions: what to do if you’re stuck and you can’t figure out what you’re passionate about. What to do when you are stuck in a pit of hopelessness and despair and you feel ashamed and can’t seem to get a break. What to do if you are stuck, depressed and you really don’t have any good friendships. I hope this gives you some relief! I know a lot of these issues are really big, chronic ones and the solutions will not be quick and easy – but if this was your question, I want to say whatever you do – don’t stop trying. I believe eventually you fill find your cocktail solution. It just takes persistence and a teaspoon of luck, which can be arrived at via trial and error. Xo Sarah May B. For more of my writing, my one-on-one plans, my books and other resources check out YayWithMe.com

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The Self-Work Vortex: Why Am I Still Unhappy? Jul 11, 2017

It’s hard to be yourself – it takes work. There’s a lot of emotional and thought clutter that gets in the way – especially when you are so wholeheartedly pursuing your best self! This is for anyone who’s been working on themselves and feeling like they’re not happy, not where they want to be, and stuck. Simple shifts in perspective and brain vs body balance can be the difference between lightness and darkness: like changing the channel in your brain when viewing your life. For more of my podcasts and blogs check out YayWithMe.com xo!

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Audience Q&A’s: Obsessed About Ex Moving On Soul-Mates + When to Start Dating Again Jun 24, 2017

In this episode I answer 3 audience questions: What do you do if you can’t stop focusing on your ex and whether or not they’re with someone new? Do we have multiple soul-mates and how do I know if I should fight for my ex? When can I start dating again if I went through a breakup 4 months ago? Got a question? LMK! contact@yaywithme.com If you are interested in learning more about mindfulness based therapies check out this book: http://amzn.to/2t4UHq6 And if you want more research about how to be happier, check out this book: http://amzn.to/2s1bjPy And here’s a link to some helpful ways to stop obsessive thoughts: https://www.get.gg/step6.htm And for more of my work including the blog version of my podcast, check out YayWithMe.com

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Ep 96: Sibling Rivalry – Why We Can’t Stop Fighting, Blaming & Resenting Jun 07, 2017

This is for anyone who has a super tumultuous relationship with a sibling, one that that defies all logic. It’s to give you context for a lot of common sibling issues and also some tools for clarity and staying firmly balanced on the ground. Just a heads up, I am talking mostly about adult sibling rivalry – though you might gain something from this if you’re listening because of your kids. I will touch on how these conflicts are formed early on in life. For more of my writing head to https://www.YayWithMe.com and for my references for this episode check out: http://www.slate.com/articles/life/family/2009/12/oh_brother.html http://amzn.to/2skMf5r https://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/199301/adult-sibling-rivalry

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Brain Clutter: Creating Mental and Spiritual Space for Yourself May 29, 2017

A practice of getting closer to your original self. Analysis, ambivalence, endless "stuff." Checking, pursuing, not knowing if any of it is right. When will I finally be happy? When I finish this thing? But then there’s that other thing I have to do. Hi friends! This power-up is a set of tools all about trimming out the mental work we create for ourselves and getting closer to your playful, original self. That mental work that seems to go in circles. In favor of something deeper and possibly more rewarding. For more personal play and exploration - here are a few books I enjoyed. xo Jung on dream analysis http://amzn.to/2rOrX3U Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu http://amzn.to/2s7gwSe Bodhisattva mind http://amzn.to/2quH3aQ

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Ep 95: Forgiveness: How to let go of hurt and anger, and why to do it at all May 09, 2017

Forgiveness is a monumental practice because it really guides a lot of what you believe in your life -about the world, love, relationships and also yourself. I’ve said this before but truly the reason to forgive is for you: because it’s kind of like being stabbed and then keeping that knife in your body. Forgiveness is something only you can decide you are ready to do, but it’s also something only appropriate in certain situations. It comes from a pure and genuine goal created for the right reasons, with all the practical information at hand. For example, you might want to forgive your ex for breaking your heart, but you can’t force that until you are ready to accept and move on. Another example of a situation that might be best left for processing but not forgiveness – is chronic abuse. This is a situation when we are likely to blame ourselves – so it’s really vital to lean into anger and claim that blame. When it comes to other deep wounds, when we prematurely choose to forgive it’s often because some part of us wants to skip over the pain of confrontation – looking at how bad we really hurt. When we want to forgive because the emotions associated with a certain event bring us BELOW the level of who we know we are, that is a mature and profound decision – one made from your highest self. This is something we all get to choose: basically, to align ourselves with who we know we are. What I want to do with this episode is really pose that invitation in a way that might get you closer to the reality of processing or forgiving – or knowing where you need to place a hurt from your past. References: Triumph of Heart http://amzn.to/2pt308G The science of forgiveness http://www.salon.com/2015/08/24/the_science_of_forgiveness_when_you_dont_forgive_you_release_all_the_chemicals_of_the_stress_response/ Haven’t read this myself but this is by the guy who heads up the Stanford Forgiveness Project which does a lot of good research. http://amzn.to/2qZy5Tt

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Ep 93: Relationship Fight Loops and Distance: Why We Lose Access to Intimacy Apr 19, 2017

Contrary to popular belief, fights are not better talked out to the bitter end and happiness and intimacy are not the result of more loving couples. It really comes down to how you manage these perpetual fights. I want to give you the main reasons people end separating or remain happy and together - based a couple different disciplines of research. Because a lot of what is the most damaging, isn’t obvious or calculated by a person. It’s totally accidental. When we have the same arguments and we start to get distant, it’s often because we don’t want to fight and we have a sense of dread around a repeated loop, so the distance is like a no-war zone between two foreign cultures. And the SHITTY news is when you get distant, your relationship is actually in the most trouble – because both parties are no longer demonstrating an investment in the bond. This is when you stop identifying as a couple and you start thinking in terms of me, the individual. And with that solo identity you start to focus on goals as an individual and not as a couple. Your focus redefines your past together as crappy – you see things from a personal interest standpoint. So if you guys are feeling distant and resentful, this is an episode for you! Caveat: I want to stress that this is NOT for people with abusive partners. Domestic violence is not something that I recommend using these tools for – if you’re in an abusive relationship, my heart goes out to you. If you like this episode, check the Gottman Institute for more! A lot of this is from his work. For more of my writing and the blog version of this post, check out Yaywithme.com (the blogs will be posted a bit later than the podcasts). Book references: Couples counselor questionnaire: goo.gl/zWndxG How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It http://amzn.to/2oOqmqP John Gottman’s most popular book: http://amzn.to/2o3HxHU The Gottman Institute – all their good, short articles. gottman.com A book by the creator of Imago: http://amzn.to/2onby1d What to look for in a couples counselor: http://www.marriagefriendlytherapists.com/whattolookfor.php

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Preventative PMS: How to protect those you love and balance your bod Apr 07, 2017

This is for those who suffer gnar PMS. I know girls who don’t go out when they’re PMS-ing because of how dangerous it is for others. It can be confusing and rob you of yourself! I hope to give you some background info about how to prep for PMS– basically all the info I could find on the internet. If you’re a severe sufferer you likely know all this stuff, but hopefully something good or at least guilt-relieving will come out of this. Disclaimer: This is my personal opinion on some preventative PMS - for the love of GOD, consult your doctor before taking any supplements. I'm not a nutritionist and I don't have any training in this area - of any kind. If anything, use this as a starting point for your own personal research. Check out these references for more complete info: https://goo.gl/IhmSpI https://goo.gl/CUkknB https://goo.gl/NWamy5

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Audience Q&A's: Obsessed Exs, Depressed Partners and Getting Ghosted Apr 02, 2017

Hi friends, this is a quickie Q&A episode answering three questions: What do you do when an ex keeps trying to come back into your life?! How do you deal with a depressed partner/friend who pushes you away? How to deal with being ghosted and positive ways to overcome it? If you're looking for more please reach out! xo Sarah May B. Here’s the Reco’d Reading I mentioned: The Gift of Fear: http://amzn.to/2nMhwcL The Depression Cure: http://amzn.to/2nPCEQX Codependent No More: http://amzn.to/2oqPw16 Courage to Change: http://amzn.to/2orhFVw

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Ep 92: Confidence in Love - A Core Workout Mar 18, 2017

Let’s say you’re not confident, which leads your to focus on others and accommodate their needs solely. Or you have been tipped off balance because there’s someone in your life that you want so bad and you feel like you can’t keep them so you’re doing whatever you can think of to keep them – but that’s creating a cycle where they pull away more. This is for you. It’s a recommended “core workout” in that it’s for regaining your inner strength. It starts with strengthening that relationship with yourself and a bond with yourself. Another term for it would be self-love. Heads up - this is an episode I recorded without a script so if something doesn't make sense, leave me a comment and I'd be happy to answer. If you liked this, please leave me a review on iTunes! For more of my work check out HelpMeBeMe.com xo

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Ep 91: Rules of Courtship, Dating & Sealing the Deal w/ Alicia Marder Mar 07, 2017

This is an interview with my bestie and go-to love guru, Alicia Marder. We'll discuss dating and courtship and how to demonstrate your value and "seal the deal" down the line. Heads up! This is most applicable for straight ladies but hopefully helpful to all! Just trade out the pronouns where necessary. I hope you enjoy! For more about Alicia, check out ilikeyourvoice.com and for more from me check out yaywithme.com - and if you like this episode, let us know if you want to ask any questions! We might do a follow-up. xo

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Ep 89: How to Deal with Emotional Dysregulation with Dr. Sharon Flynn Feb 03, 2017

I interview Dr. Sharon Flynn PhD on what dysregulation is, what it’s from and some ways you can treat it. When emotions overtake you and make you unable to act in ways to help yourself, this is called dysregulation. It’s something that happens to a lot of people sometimes from trauma or ptsd, sometimes from the way you’re wired. For more you can check out Yaywithme.com or DrSharonFlynn.com xo Sarah May B

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How to deal with rejection Jan 19, 2017

If you got dumped or you didn’t get your dream job, here are some tools and insights to get you back on the wagon of awesomeness. Getting rejected is a confidence assault on so many levels because it reduces you to below the level you were before you mustered the courage to try. Especially if you don’t see it coming, it can make you feel like you can’t trust your gut and therefore, you should never try again. Well I assume you’re waiting for the typical catch-phrases like, “You can’t win if you don’t try.” But that would make me annoyed if I just got rejected so I’ll skip that part. Here are some tips to give you some grounding if this just happened to you. Looking for more? Head to YayWithMe.com xox My theme song was created by BookerHillMusic.com

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Ep 88: What to do when you can’t speak your truth Jan 06, 2017

This is an episode that I’ve been wanting to write for a while – because it’s something that reminds me of a very confusing and difficult time for me. When I couldn’t find my voice, or access it. It’s a thing that happens to a lot of people – you can feel the thing you have to say and it’s just stuck inside your body. You can almost hear yourself screaming it, desperately trying to get it out. But your physical body doesn’t move. It’s like witnessing a silent victim trapped behind double mirrors in prison – why can’t they see me? Why can’t they hear me? Wherever this is coming from – for you, I think I can help give you a bit of a leg up. Because I know how this feels – it’s traumatizing. The worst. Because it’s like you are doing it to yourself, and you are somehow the cause of your own horror – because of the fact that you can’t even stand up for yourself. It sets up a really heavy, powerful loop that compounds a new truth: I am hopeless. I am a liar. I am invisible. I am a coward. No one can see me suffering. No on can help me, including me. Wow – that got kinda dark, huh? Well it’s kinda that feeling – a deep, dark where no light reaches. Let’s get to some proactive information shall we? There are 3 parts, the what why and how – the tools.

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Holiday Reflection Exercise: glance back on your year Dec 23, 2016

This is something to do with a warm blanket and your journal, kinda like a date with yourself. Have your journal handy if you can – and your iphone calendar or a regular calendar, and take a listen. Feel free to pause as you go. This is what I’ll be doing as I go through my year. Happy holidays lovely friends! Celebrate as much as you can. xo Sarah May B.

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Audience Q+A's: Guilt, ish w/ family, unfollowing ex's, dating anxiety & universal stuckness Dec 06, 2016

Hi peeps! In this “experiment” I answer several questions you’ve asked – quick-fire style! Like it? Let me know! What to do when the universe is shitting on you, How to deal if you don’t get along with your parents. Dating: What to do when you can’t help but feel needy or anxious. What to do if you have the same problem in relationships: why it happens, why you should take notice. How to deal with social media when you’ve been through a breakup, and How to forgive yourself when you fuck up a relationship or you feel like you made a bad decision in a relationship.

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Ep 87: What to do When You Have Feelings You Don't Want to Feel Nov 28, 2016

It can be something that sets up a chain reaction: first the feelings of hate or desire or insecurity, then the shame, then the guilt. Then the loop that exacerbates it. I am writing this for all different kinds of situations, so hopefully if you’re suffering you can get a bit of relief – for yourself, and those you love. With that there are three parts – the what, why and how! Let’s do dis! For more of my work head to Yaywithme.com and to donate visit me on Patreon.com/sarahmayb

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Hate relief: How to stop hating and how to heal from a hate crime Nov 12, 2016

For those who have been assaulted in some way by hatred – perhaps from a person you though you were close to. Maybe a peer or a stranger on the street. Or something you heard via the news that really shocked and upset you. Or maybe you’ve been experiencing hate yourself, and you are trying to help yourself out of that. Check out yaywithme.com/love for a list of rights-support organizations – it's an ever-growing on Google docs. I also have a link to help organizations for assault. Hang in there, friends. xox Sarah May B.

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Ep 86: Love Anxiety - How to Deal with Fear Forecasting in New Relationships Nov 02, 2016

This one’s all about the anxiety and stress that you might feel as soon as you end up in a good relationship. The clinginess might be painful, almost excruciating, and the anxiety of not knowing the future and if it's gonna last – might not only take you OUT of the joy state, but ruin your ability to be yourself during the courtship phase. So if this sounds like you, know that there’s nothing wrong with you, I was just like you, and you are among many. This is not forever – so take heart. As usual there are there parts: the what, why and how – the tools! For more of my writing or to make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com

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Gratitude Joy-State Powerup Oct 21, 2016

Get into the positive, grateful state where you are the most rational. This is to get you smiling and blow your mind a little bit. Share it with someone you love! Enjoy and check out Yaywithme.com for more smiles xox Sarah May B. mwa mwa mwa

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Ep 85: How to Stop Bad Relationship Loops Oct 19, 2016

When we promise ourselves that we’re never ever going to do the thing we hate, again. Maybe that's the thing your parents did, or the thing we already did that burned us – yet we end up right back in that exact same relationship. Or we might promise ourselves that “this is the last time I take this person back! I KNOW what I want for myself and this is not it!” It’s like being a wind-up toy in that suddenly you find yourself resetting the same loop once again, feeling powerless to stop it when its happening to you. You might say things like, “I have no idea how I ended up in this situation!!” Or, “How could I possibly have made excuses for this person and ignored the signs?” Or even, “Why am I still taking this crap? Why do I allow myself to take this person back again and again? I am MISERABLE. I know I am miserable, and yet I can’t seem to stop.” Maybe when you’re IN a relationship it just feels like love. It’s wonderful and hopeful and passionate and fun. You feel great being appreciated by this other person – they adore you and show you their best, and you feel like you’re finally able to use all your gifts. If you're looking for more of my writing head to Yaywithme.com and if you're looking for immediate help, I recommend this guy's list: http://mentalpod.com/get-help xox Sarah May B.

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Ep 84: Therapy 101 - What Kind of Help to Get, Why + How Oct 07, 2016

An interview with Dr. Sharon Flynn, PhD all about therapy and how it works. How long does therapy take? How do I find a therapist? What's the difference between all the different doctors? How much does it cost? We will discuss various techniques, plus why someone might want to go to therapy in the first place. Hopefully if you've had a "dumb" question about therapy, I will ask it for you! To find Dr. Sharon Flynn, visit https://goo.gl/Mg1yLO

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30 Days of Gratitude Challenge Oct 04, 2016

Hey peeps, this is a practice to help you retrain your brain out of a negative focus. I just started it and I invite you to do the same: 1 negative-into-positive-gratitude per day! (Not in the place of your current gratitudes, in ADDITION to it!) Hope you join me. xo Sarah May B.

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Ep 83: Balanced Goal Setting - Enjoying Life While Achieving Sep 19, 2016

Hi friends, this is really about something I’ve been experiencing lately which is the great energy and ability that comes from doing things that are really challenging and not fun or comfortable for you. I guess because I see in a lot of people who become slaves to habit, a fear or perceived lack of ability when they venture outside that routine. So in many ways, this is about the danger of comfort and how to initiate flexible and changeable self. This is written in part because when you are in a state of continual growth, you can better stay connected to the fact that nothing in life is really such a big deal. Nothing can “take you out” or make you suffer, and better yet – you can do anything and everything you want. You aren’t trapped by the “learned helplessness” that is created by routine – in that you learn from your own behavior, what “you” can do. When you make a habit of trying things that are really hard and make you feel dumb, you stay connected to your “bigger self” – that is you-in-this-entire-lifetime, sense. Because it’s easy to forget when you were a kid and you didn’t care – when you tried before your brain could speak up. I want to help you grow that self a bit more. If you want more of my tools head to Yaywithme.com and if you like this, please share it! xo

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Chronic Fomo: A Recalibration Exercise Sep 03, 2016

It's easy to get sucked into constant self-measuring and with that, discontent. This is a recalibration for your focus - if you are suffering from FOMO or hyper-focusing on the day-to-day pursuit of better-than. What I call, the hamster seed-gathering loop that is modern day life. If you like this check out Yaywithme.com for more of my writing and tools. xo Sarah May B.

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Ep 82: When We Lose Friends to Love - the Pairing-Off Process that is Adulthood Aug 27, 2016

Change is tough. New relationships shift old ones. This is for you if someone close to you is falling in love – or changing their priorities. Maybe it’s a new spouse, maybe it’s a new job, maybe it’s a new habit or phase of their life – whatever it is, you can’t be intimately a part of it. What you previously had is suddenly gone: and though occasionally you try to meet them in the same way on the same level – it’s different. They’re not there with you anymore. And that hurts – it makes you sad, and cling to the past. Maybe you don’t feel loved by them anymore. You feel separate – like you don’t know them anymore, even though you know them best! Maybe even better than they know themselves. And yet – they’re going through this new stage and you’re not the same part of it. If you want the blog of my reading list check out YayWithme.com later this month. This one's for Donnie - hope you like and that this helps! xo

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College Essay Rough Draft C, or Why Therapy is Worth It Aug 23, 2016

**Warning might make you sad! It's a story that will ground you to the earth and the scope of life, more than make you laugh. With that...This is the story of the moment my entire life changed – I am posting it to give you hope if you suffer from a trauma. Because I have grown to a place of safety and happiness – past mine. I can only see this progress, now in the process of reading it aloud – and not quivering in my voice, or being triggered by it. It doesn’t mean that this story doesn’t mean a great deal to me – it’s just the opposite. It’s that this story – for me – is not something I cannot talk about, anymore. The person it’s about is still very special to me – and will always be a part of me. This is my college essay – and a story about one of the best friends I’ll ever have on this earth. I hope you enjoy. xox Sarah May

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Be Alive! Enjoy Being Simply - Yourself Aug 15, 2016

Hi peeps! This is a mid-dance-party mini power-up episode and my invitation to you to please join me. Because you need to get out of "normal" and just be human once in a while. xo Hope you likee! Check out Yaywithme.com for all my latest blog and podcast content, and subscribe for updates on The Break-Up Album!

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Ep 81: Stress Eating and the Difference Between Good Stress and Bad Stress Jul 31, 2016

Hi peeps! This was going to be a power-up then I started researching and it turned into a full-length episode. So Jessica – this one’s for you. Hope it helps! And anyone who hasn’t heard already, Yay With Me.com is now officially launched. Check it out peeps. Anyhoo, if you are listening to this because you have a rollercoaster dieting style, or you tend to go into an unconscious compulsive state when it comes to food, I think this will be enlightening and helpful in some way. It’s also got some info on the effects of stress and the difference in kinds of stress that’s harmful and not – so hopefully this will be helpful outside of food. As usual there are three parts, the what, why and how – the tools.

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Ep 80: I Want My Ex Back - Best Practices Toward Loving Outcomes Jul 19, 2016

Hi peeps, this is a cheat of an episode in that it’s about how to get closest to getting your ex back via supporting yourself. There are no cheats that will make your ex spontaneously love you if things fell apart, so think of this as a best-practices-for-best-conditions kind of thing. That feeling of pain and longing and even obsession over the loss of your relationship. Maybe it wasn’t something you were expecting, or you both kind of “decided” it was right but now you’re realizing it’s not at all what you wanted and you can’t stop thinking about getting back together. Maybe you’re internet stalking your ex, maybe you’re just super depressed and texting them when you get drunk. Or maybe you’re actively trying to convince them you should get back together – as respectfully as you possibly can, and you can’t for the life of you, figure out how to do this right. So this is for anyone who is trying to get their ex back or is holding their head up high and not admitting they want that, but still wishing they were magically back together– either because you broke their heart and you know now you screwed up, or because you were dumped and you were not ready or willing to have this outcome. If this is where you are – you’re likely in a split personality state that can be sometimes a belligerent puking of tears, sometimes a banal but painful loneliness, sometimes annoyingly obsessed, sometimes scary-obsessed, or sometimes feeling like complete and utter worthless shit – and ONLY your ex can make you feel stable and “yourself” again. If you are helped by this podcast, consider a small donation. Visit https://www.yaywithme.com/support-help-me-be-me or visit www.Patreon.com/sarahmayb

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A Grounding Talk for Confronting What Feels Impossible Jul 11, 2016

This is a power-up episode for anyone facing change that feels too hard or too painful. Take heart and remind yourself that you will do what you need to do when you're ready and in your own time. xo! Sarah May B.

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Ep 79: In Living Color: Self-Examination Exercises to Get More Out of Experiences Jun 27, 2016

This is all about how to get the most out of your capacity and your life experiences as well as how to navigate the painful stuff. I want to talk about the growing of self, as it relates to culture and society – and how it has changed. Plus ways that you can begin to maximize your growth as a human. So this is all about you – and the way you grow yourself in this lifetime. Like a self-reflective path-tuning educational episode. This one’s dedicated to Rich and Aldana. Hope you like!! xo

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Grief & Deep Sadness - a meditation exercise for releasing and passing pain Jun 10, 2016

A power-up episode for anyone dealing with the pain of sorrow of grief and they don’t know where to put the painful feelings. This is a new meditation exercise I learned and I think it’s pretty amazing. I hope it works for you, too. xoxo

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I Am So Upset!!! (Anger Fixation Relief - Part Deux) Jun 02, 2016

Hi loves, this is a more immediate version of the Anger Fixation Relief Power-Up. This one is designed more for if you’re in the moment of an angry loop of emotion – to help you calm down and relieve the immediate effects. I think it’s good to follow up with the second “Anger Fixation relief” episode. xo! Sarah May B.

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Ep 78: Codependency: I Need to Find Someone Who Will Make Me Whole Jun 01, 2016

It’s really hard to stop yourself from helping someone out, doing it for them, giving your time and energy, saying what you said you wouldn’t do again, or diving in head first to a partner – especially when chemicals take over. Because that’s who you are! A giving and loving person! It can feel almost like a commitment to being true to yourself, because when you have all the understanding of someone’s voids – you feel compassion. And even if you didn’t want to try to make them happy or fix something, you feel obligated – mostly by yourself you’re your own inner voice. It’s also because you like them so much and you want to make them happy. To fight against this habit will feel wrong, unnatural. And super uncomfortable – and it makes others so happy. It’s a confusing dilemma – to NOT follow your instincts will make you might feel like you’re not being yourself. You want to be loving and give your best for someone you love. It’s a catch-22. And so the flip side of this is you end up doing it all: you’re the saver who comes to the rescue and others will continue to disappoint you on a loop. Like you’re surrounded by children. You end up feeling resentful toward others for not giving you the love and care and THANKS you deserve, but you can’t stop yourself from being there for them and helping them live better lives. It feels good to be helpful. This end result leaves you and whoever else you are stuck to in life, fighting or empty – battling for love and care and attention. And you’re not asking so much at all – just for a tiny bit of love and support at SOME time in life. Or just for them to not be so destructive. This one’s for Ty – great topic! Thank you! If this helps you in any way, consider making a monthly donation at HelpMeBeMe.com thanks!

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Ep 77: Something's Wrong: When Worry, Hurt, Stress and Sadness Make You Stuck May 18, 2016

Oh shit. This is bad. I’m not wrong, they’re wrong. Ouch this hurts. I wish this wasn’t this way. Why does everyone hate me? I hate everyone. I am dreading going to this place. I wish I never dated that person. They’re probably talking shit about me. I should be doing better by my age. I haven’t done anything with my life. No one loves me. I look like shit. These are the voices of worry, shame, fear, regret, pain of various forms – the loops that play out and push us to solve for x or act according to x. This is when you can’t find your way out of a situation and instead your life just gets smogged over by the situation: when you know that something is wrong and because of it, you feel terrible inside. Life suddenly loses its highlights. You ask for advice, you work on plans to overcome it, you wish on it, pray on it, lament it, replay it, try to aggressively work on alleviating it, or you hide from it and numb it. And it thickens. It’s the one thing that really catalyzes a whole lot of other beliefs – and you can’t seem to figure out a workaround. When an emotion sticks inside us it CONTROLS US and often pushes us to act on its behalf – like a little demon with a joystick inside your brain. So if this sounds vaguely familiar, this is an episode for you. There are three parts – the what, the why, and the how - the tools! Before I go on I wanted to let everyone know about my second podcast called “Love is Like a Plant” with Ellen Huerta of Mend. She’s building an app to get you through a breakup. Check us out – it’s all about relationships and dating. Anyhoo. The what! If you like what you hear and you want to support this show visit me on Patreon or head to HelpMeBeMe.com and click donate! xox

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When Life Gives You a Wedgie and Smashes Your Confidence May 18, 2016

Hi peeps, this is a little power-up reflection exercise for anyone who has just had the wind taken out of them by a life gut-punch. Whether you lost a job, didn't get a second date, or just had a person tell you in whatever words that you're a loser - this is perfect for you. Heart to heart, directly from my brain this morning. Hope you enjoy. And NO, you're not crazy, your life's not over, and you're not alone. xox Sarah May B.

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Anger Fixation Relief: A gratitude reflection exercise Apr 26, 2016

I did this myself and it worked for my so I wanted to offer it to you! This is a little refocusing exercise to help you let go of anger and resent - especially if you're fixating on something that bugs you. Whether it's a friend, a partner, a boss - you can train yourself to remember your kind and loving state. It comes down to a simple re-focusing practice when you need it most. xox Sarah May B.

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Ep 76: Dirty Tactics: When Someone Uses Manipulation to Make You Feel Crazy Apr 23, 2016

This is also known as gas-lighting – based on a Hitchcock film where Ingrid Bergman was made to feel crazy by her husband. What I am going to talk about is what to do and how to recognize when someone is intentionally keeping you feel off-balance or pushing your buttons to make you into the bad guy. It’s a control tactic, and it’s extremely cruel – not to mention, when done overtime it can make you believe you can’t trust your own instincts. You will start to lose a connection to your own gut instincts because someone is making you believe that they might be wrong, consistently over time. It can stall you from actually reaching the solution to an issue, and even blind you to real and dangerous truths happening right in front of you – on a greater and greater scale. Because over a long period of time – no matter how rational and confident you start out, eventually you catch “the sickness” of the manipulative behavior. Long story short – it’s DANGEROUS and NOT COOL and you shouldn’t be tolerating it or be around it – at all. This is an episode to give you a starting point for helping yourself out of this situation. Three parts – what why and how, the tools. Apologies for the background sounds - I recorded this after work in the car so there are helicopters around me!

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Ep 75: WTF Happened? When Great Relationships Suddenly Turn Bad Apr 01, 2016

How good relationships turn into bad relationships, seemingly out of nowhere. Whether that’s with fights that ensue endlessly, or one partner suddenly betrays the other partner – this kind of behavior can make you feel mystified, angry, and stuck. So I want to shed a bit of light on a potential reason behind these changes – if you once had a healthy and mutually rewarding relationship, this might give you a starting place for the work that has to be done. OR at the very least enlighten you as to what happened. My other name for this episode is Family Ties. You’ll know why if you listen to this. Does any of this sound familiar? “I thought I married someone who loved me and they seem like they hate me now.” “This behavior came out of nowhere – one day she told me she didn’t love me anymore.” “I can’t believe this happened – I want to ask her, was it worth it?” These are the kinds of things I hear often from my One-On-One clients, especially when it comes to break-ups. It’s a very common experience to suddenly see your partner change into someone you don’t know, you didn’t think they’d be. It can make you feel stupid like you should have known better. It can make you feel assaulted – like you just got a hard slap for no reason whatsoever. It can make you feel you can’t tell up from down and the world is not what you thought it was. There’s a reason why this is happening, just like there’s a solution – if you want one. Before I get started I want to tell you that this is much more abbreviated than it should be, because this is such an intricate and amazing topic. If you’re interested in learning more about it I will post a link to my reading material on my website in the blog version. It’s worth a read – called Intimate Partners by Maggie Scarf. A blow your mind amazing book. There are three parts: the what why and how – the tools. Help Me Be Me takes hundreds of hours to create. If you get anything out of this show or it brings value to your life, please consider a monthly donation – even something as small as a cup of coffee helps immensely. To donate visit HelpMeBeMe.com or Patreon.com/SarahMayB Thanks! If you like what you hear, check out my other podcast called Love is like a plant with Ellen Huerta of Mend! xo

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Ep 74: Self-Sabotage: Why We Betray Ourselves and Destroy Our Relationships Mar 13, 2016

For those who can’t stop trying to convince themselves they’re bad with self-destructive actions. This one is for Nikki. Why do we destroy relationships with those who love us? Why do break our own trust, betray our own dreams, and rob ourselves of happiness and safety as soon as we get close to it. It’s a mystifying loop of behavior that has powerful effects on everything about our life: a chain reaction that keeps us hiding or running from the ugly truth of what we’ve done. Just like an addict, you live with a subconscious awareness that you will inevitably destroy whatever good you might have – and that anxiety is overwhelming and scary. Like a lurking future of pain awaits you just around the corner. Happiness is immediately blocked by the overwhelming sense of dread that it will soon be lost. And so you self-medicate the fear and cling more tightly to what you want so badly. When you do inevitably self-sabotage and act out in ways that betray your values and the values of your partner, the experience is laden with fear and the resulting shame is soul-crushing. Like you just woke up inside a nightmare. You have an almost separate self who is doing these things despite you. I want you to know there’s a simple reason behind your cycle of behavior that you must CHOOSE to learn. It’s not who you are, it’s a tactic that you learned to cope with unrelated pain and anxiety. There are three parts: the what, the why, the how. Help Me Be Me takes hundreds of hours to create. If you get anything out of this show or it brings value to your life, please consider a monthly donation – even something as small as a cup of coffee helps immensely. To donate visit HelpMeBeMe.com or Patreon.com/SarahMayB Thanks!

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The Invisible Wall Blocking You From Change Mar 06, 2016

Why Can’t I Change? Why Can’t I Reach My Goal? Hi friends, this is a power-up for anyone who wants a change and has wanted it for a long time, but you just don’t seem to get there and you’ve pretty much accepted it or given up hope. I am addressing a number of changes: maybe you want to be healthier, you want to find love, you want a different job, whatever it is – you want something – badly, but you’ve all but accepted that it’s not going to happen. There are too many obstacles so while you want this thing, you’ve been living without it for a very long time – and that’s the fate you’ve been dealt. I want to propose a theory I have and I am coming from a place of love – and I’d just like to ask you to attempt to believe what I’m saying is true, for you. Just for the sake of openness – treat it like an exercise. In other words – try it on “as if it were true” as your first stance, and don’t allow your defensive reflexes to stop you. I have them too – we all do, the voice that says, “False! This doesn’t relate to me at all– that’s not true in MY case…” I hope you enjoy this and if it helps you at all consider a monthly donation. Even something as small as a cup of coffee helps me keep this show going. Visit Patreon.com/SarahMayB or TeaspoonOfHappy.com/donate xo!

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How to Be There: A Simple Way to Make Life More Meaningful Feb 26, 2016

This is a power-up episode all about how to be more present in your everyday life – specifically when it comes to your human interactions. This is something I decided to record after reading (listening to) “When Breath Becomes Air” and this episode of All in the Mind – the guest is this amazing woman called Christine Bryden who was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimers in her 40s. She’s amazing and so is this interview. Her latest book is called “Before I Forget.” Anyhoo, I hope you enjoy – it’s very much my train of thought, so be forgiving… Xox Sarah May B. When Breath Becomes Air: http://amzn.to/1LmSgmo All in the Mind: http://www.abc.net.au/radionational/programs/allinthemind/2015-12-13/7012970 Before I Forget: http://amzn.to/1LmShHc If you're looking for more content, subscribe to "Love is Like a Plant" by new podcast with cohost Ellen Huerta of LetsMend.com – it’s all about love and break-ups: https://soundcloud.com/loveislikeaplant

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Ep 73: Love & Honesty: What We Hide and Why Feb 23, 2016

Why sometimes people aren’t honest with us and sometimes we’re not honest with ourselves. This one’s written for a person who contacted me who’s newly single and dating quite a bit. He has a few different partners and has had a lot of difficulty saying he is doing so because it goes against everything he wants. This is all about how the simple act of being honest can change your life in awesome earth-shattering ways. I talk about honesty and dishonesty and how it comes into play in our relationships. So if you’re the type of person who dates and doesn’t tell the other person where you’re really at – or if you’re super jealous and suspicious about your partner and it drives you mad, or if you’re a regular person dealing with regular relationship power-plays— this is for you! Help Me Be Me is advertising free and takes hundreds of hours to create. If you enjoy my work or it improves your life, consider a monthly donation: even something as small as a cup of coffee makes a big difference. Head to HelpMeBeMe.com/donate or visit Patreon.com/SarahMayB Thanks! xox Looking for more? Check out my other podcast with cohost Ellen Huerta of LetsMend.com Check us out on Soundcloud and iTunes – our show is all about love and heartbreak, called Love Is Like a Plant. Yay!

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An Introduction to "The Break-Up Album" (in honor of Valentine's Day) Feb 11, 2016

Hi friends, in honor of Valentine’s Day I wanted to share the introduction to “The Break-Up Album” my podcast album coming out later this year. Why? Because it can be a difficult holiday for many of us – the pressure is on! And if you’ve recently been through a break-up, Valentine’s Day can be like a party to celebrate your pain – it salts the wound and makes you feel like you’re not good enough because you don’t have a person to call your own. But in reality, you’ve been given a gift – if you choose to see it that way. That’s what the Break-Up Album is all about! Making this break-up into the best thing that ever happened to you. Which I believe it can be. So with that – take a listen to the introductory chapter of, “The Break-Up Album” available later this year. If you’d like to be added to the pre-order mailing list, head to HelpMeBeMe.com and click on the album. Sending you much love this week and every week!! xox Sarah May B.

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Ep 72: Toxic Love: I Need Her, Don’t Leave Me, I Can’t Live Without Him Jan 28, 2016

Love shouldn’t hurt. It shouldn’t feel like it’s your lifeline – that you will fall into a million pieces if someone else chooses to break up. This kind of chemical bond is similar to that we universally associate with High School romance: hormones are high and we reach sometimes addiction-level chemical intoxication. But that’s not how it should feel when you pass the hormonal bump. Like such an intensely devastating and all-consuming obsession. Past the initial courtship stage, love shouldn’t be tied to NEED and it shouldn’t be able to command your mood and focus. So if you experience it this way, and it causes you to do things that betray yourself and put your needs aside those of another. If you find yourself all-consumed by the actions or thoughts of another to the degree that it controls your happiness – this is an episode for you. It’s about the particular reasons that this kind of attachment happens to you, that you might not be able to see are operating – or know are optional. To you it probably just feels like “you” and who you are, not some other powerful unseen force. Because most people who operate like this think of it as a measure of how MUCH they love, or their ability as a person to bend and adapt. Not so. This is an unhealthy form of attachment that can be tweaked once understood. This is an episode to educate more than anything because awareness is the first step to change. So listen to this with the goal of simply taking it in. I WANT TO HELP YOU begin the process of the kind of loving that can be done from a safe and balanced distance. From a comfortable place inside yourself, that protects you always. It’s a way of being that allows you to create healthy boundaries, and choose mates who are capable of loving you, and more importantly – makes you capable of receiving it. Because truly we teach others how they should love us, by how we love ourselves. If you are not protecting your needs and giving yourself care and gentle loving attention, then you’re also telling others not to. With that, here are the three parts! Part 1 is the what, Part 2 is the why, Part 3 are some steps to take now. Help Me Be Me takes hundreds of hours to create. If you get anything out of this show or it brings value to your life, please consider a monthly donation – even something as small as a cup of coffee helps immensely. To donate visit HelpMeBeMe.com Thanks!

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A Gratitude New Year Reflection Practice, To Do With a Friend or Solo Jan 18, 2016

Hi lovies! This is a Power Up to do with a friend, your hubby, or just solo with a pen and paper. Caveat: This leans more heavily into the self-help genre than most of my podcasts, but despite that – it’s super fun and more importantly, it’s beneficial to your quality of life! I think so much of personal growth is getting over that hump of “OMG this is stupid” and just doing it anyway even though you sound like a cliché. So with that – I want to offer you a Gratitude Practice that’s best done with a friend or significant other. A way to look at your growth and foster what you want more of moving forward. Enjoy! xox Help Me Be Me takes hundreds of hours to create. If you get anything out of this show or it brings value to your life, please consider a monthly donation – even something as small as a cup of coffee helps immensely. To donate visit HelpMeBeMe.com or Patreon.com/SarahMayB Thanks!

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Ep 71: Creating Your Worth: How to Ask for a Raise and Interview With the Best Outcome Jan 16, 2016

Hi there! This is the second half of episode 70, about bettering your outward-facing self to get more of what you want and deserve. This one is all about how to ask for a raise and ways to set up the most successful outcome when negotiating your worth. This episode is structured differently than past episodes. Part 1 is about grooming and creating more value in yourself as a professional, plus ways of showing others that value. Part 2 is about how to ask for a raise in the most hard to argue with and amicable way possible – how to make it easy for a boss to give you what you want vs unintentionally souring the position you have. Part 3 is about how to go into a new job interview – the best way to present yourself and also dictate your value to the perception of another. How to ask for what you want and create the right image. I believe you are capable and perfect for anything you choose to do with all your heart. If it is not in the cards – find a new pathway – a side entry or a different avenue that rewards that part of yourself. And check where the motivation is coming from. If you’re doing something because you want to tell others you’re doing that thing, it’s not the right reason. If you’re doing it because it comes naturally – and feels right – or it is something you love passionately, then you’ll do it anyway. Follow your inclinations. Listen to what fits or flows. Don’t listen to anyone who tells you that you shouldn’t do something. They are saying that for their own reasons – usually fear, or deep unhappiness. This life comes down to YOU and what YOU decide you want to do during this part of it. No one else makes that call but you. Help Me Be Me takes hundreds of hours to create. If you get anything out of this show or it brings value to your life, please consider a monthly donation – even something as small as a cup of coffee helps immensely. To donate visit HelpMeBeMe.com or Patreon.com/SarahMayB Thanks! x

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Ep 70: Weak and Insecure: How to Grow Your Strength and Confidence at Work and in Life Jan 03, 2016

Hi peeps! It is moi, Sarah May. This is Part 1 of a two part episode. Part 2 will be solely focused on how to ask for a raise and how to tell someone your value when you apply for a new job. This is for anyone who is insecure or has a hard time with confidence at work or socially. Maybe you are introverted or sensitive, so this prevents you from speaking up or saying what you think. Or maybe when you do assert yourself it hurts to hear what people say back to you that’s critical. Maybe you feel intimidated by those around you and they use tactics to make you feel worse. Because in an unseen but felt way, your life overall is guided by this theme of fear, low self-confidence, low self-worth: instead of an upward climb, it’s a torturous plateau full of mental battles and fearful anticipations. And you want to do the things that everyone else does – like speak up with confidence, demand a raise, let go of what other people think, have faith in the value of your own opinions, and be a boss. It’s just that pesky inner voice that seems to get in the way. Help Me Be Me takes hundreds hours of create. If you get any value out of the work I do or it helps your life, please consider a monthly donation. Even something as small as a cup of coffee helps this show exist. To donate visit HelpMeBeMe.com or Patreon.com/sarahmayb Thanks! xo

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A Simple Reflection Exercise for Clarity and Awareness Dec 26, 2015

Heads up, this is recorded on my iPhone, so forgive me, it’s not the best quality – it’s a post-yoga reflection that I just had to record for you as soon as it came to mind, so I hope you enjoy it. It’s a short meditation to do as we enter this new year full of awesome potential. A way to check in with your thoughts and reorganize them so that you can better your trajectory, see what you’re holding onto that’s not serving you, what’s playing on a loop in your head, and what has manifested in your life that you might want to tweak. Much love and have a happy new year! Xo Smile loves.

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Ep 69: How to deal with family who are unwelcoming and mean Dec 18, 2015

I know the holidays are just a few days away– which can bring up a ton of uncomfortable feelings especially if you have not-so-loving-family members. This is for anyone who has family, or anyone in their life who is meant to be nice to them and instead has chosen to close off and be mean. This could be your significant other’s family or your own family, like for example – your parent married into a new family and you feel excluded by them. So this is for anyone who has a significant other with a family who doesn’t accept or acknowledge you. Or maybe they constantly divide you and your spouse. Maybe this isn’t your significant other – maybe it’s a friend or your family – like if a parent remarried, or your family has dysfunctional ways of relating to you. This is for a friend who wrote to me – hang in there. I know this ain’t easy and it takes the strongest person to manage it. If you are helped by this podcast and find value in it, consider making a monthly donation - even an amount as small as a cup of coffee. Visit HelpMeBeMe.com or find my page on Patreon. xo!

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Ep 68: Burnout – How to Deal With Creative and Motivational Exhaustion Nov 29, 2015

It’s no shocker that working all night and all day with a million different deadlines can lead even the most inspired and motivated individuals to burnout and depression. Careers and schools often demand it, and it becomes the norm – hopefully for only a short time in your life, but regardless – it’s dangerous for your body and soul and can take a toll on the future-you and your success as a professional AND happy individual. So this is for people who are in creative fields, schools, or professions that require they go hard for extended periods of time – causing them to burnout mentally and motivationally. I have some information to empower you to make better decisions, plus some tools to help you if you’re already stuck in an overworked depression. And ways to temper the stress and anxiety of intense deadlines and assignments moving forward. I know there’s a lot written on this subject but I will offer you a more practical set of solutions so that you can actually implement them starting NOW and not in six months, when “things calm down.” This one is for my new friend in the Netherlands – Nathalie. xo There are three parts – the what, the why, the how – the tools.

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Ep 67: Living As A Fraud: When you have a voice in your head that tells you you’re not good enough Nov 14, 2015

Are you guided by a belief that something is wrong with you? That you’re not good enough, and that you are fooling everyone – pretending you’re like them, but soon enough they’re going to realize you’re not talented, cool or smart. Maybe you constantly strive to build the life of someone worthy, but always seem to feel just as worthless as before: you’re never thin enough, you’re not as successful as you’d like to be, or maybe you’re living a life that you know you don’t want but you’re too afraid to do anything about it because it’s going to show the world that you’re a weak and shameful loser. So it’s better to just stay safe, and protected in the lie. Even though you feel suffocated and stifled by this life. Well if this sounds like you then you’re in good company – this is a universal human trait: to feel that we’re not good enough. And that’s because so much of the self is defined by things we learn from others. The brain we use to drive and make money is also the brain that computes risk based on a very specific structure we’ve built via our life experiences. So it’s natural to have grown up with a set of beliefs that are – to say the least – not in favor of your confidence and self-love. So if this sounds like you I hope to offer you some relief in the form of understanding, plus a few tools to manage the affects. As usual there are 3 parts: the what, the why, and the how: the tools. This one is for Guy.

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Ep 66: How to Use Compassion to Rise Above the Hate & Intolerance of Others Oct 30, 2015

We all want to be nice and caring people – because it feels good. It rewards us. However we are human and sometimes it can be a challenge to stay in that mindset, especially if people are deliberately cruel and hateful. Anger and hate become a natural reaction – or to simply shutdown and ignore. For the same is true of fearing those who hate: when you don’t understand someone and their beliefs betray everything you hold sacred, it’s a feeling that can touch every nerve inside you and incite the same thing – inside you. A hate and intolerance for their beliefs. It’s tough to be willing to understand others, especially when they express hate, brutality or intolerance. Like looking into the face of someone filled to the brim with fire and toxic sludge, spitting at you – it can offend every sense you have to witness such a thing. And worse, it can infect you and bring you down. There are lots of toxic people out there, and the natural reaction is to stay as far away from them as possible. But when it comes to people you love, you work with, or you can’t shut out of your life – this is a set of tools to help you understand them and better relate to them. In the face of intolerance, the self-protective instinct is to run away – to shut down to them and soothe the hurt, lest this hurt you anymore. But this is only a temporary fix to manage the situation. There is a state you can graduate to – PAST this point of managing and shutting off – one comparable to enlightenment: compassion. It’s challenging but also freeing, and it can be a powerful solution when it comes to someone you care about or must deal with in your life – for example a loved one or family member. I hope you enjoy! xo For more of my writing head to TeaspoonOfHappy.com

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Episode 65: Stuck, Depressed and Full of Self-Hate Oct 25, 2015

This is for anyone stuck in a place of self-hate and inaction. Someone in a shitty place in life, depressed and hopeless: hating on themselves, where they are, and at a loss for where to go from here. Maybe you have people in your life who love and encourage you and you hate that you’re bringing them down – yet you can’t figure out why your life just sucks so much when others get to be happy. You feel it is unfair for both of you. However – if you suffer severe depression, it’s probably not for you. I know that chronic depression is one of the hardest things to battle. And for some, it’s paralyzing – like worse than death. It’s like being a human zombie. I am terrified of depression – it’s the worst kind of pain. So if you suffer that, you might not like this post – because it assumes that you have some power in the situation. If you are a sufferer who is incapacitated by your depression, this is not for you. I feel for you, and when I have enough to offer you, I will create an episode just for you. There are three parts. The what, the why and the how. Let’s do this! xo

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Episode 64: Trivial Couple Fights: For Getting Stuck in Battles of the Technicalities Oct 10, 2015

How to stop trivial couple arguments that involve endless semantics debates – the ones usually started by faulty communication that are pointless and seem to last forever. This is a follow-up episode to last week’s episode which was about better loving - it’s all about a modern condition many couples are suffering in greater and greater numbers: the stupid arguments we get into with our awesome significant others – over stupid little things like corrections and blame. The couples’ court battle of technicalities. What does that mean? Endless arguments with your significant other argued with technicalities – who said what, who’s right, who’s wrong – what I meant when I said that thing, no YOU said that which is what made me say that. You always do this! Can we not? Please? Can we stop this stupid fight? You’re the reason this started! I’M the one who’s trying not to fight— etc. We’ve all been there, and we all don’t want to go there – ever! Because it’s a massive time and energy suck and it usually results in nothing positive or helpful. It’s just a way to ruin a nice night or make us ready to fight for the rest of a Saturday. So why does this happen to modern couples and how do we get out of it? That’s what this episode is all about. As in all of my blogs, there are three parts – the what, the why and the how – the tools. And I’ll put my references in the blog version of this post. Yay! This one’s for Matt. Hope you enjoy!

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Episode 63: How to Love – Giving to Your Relationship in the Best Way Possible Oct 01, 2015

This is for people in a loving relationship and you’re working to give love BETTER to that person. I have a lot of tools in this one – many of them are for being the most effectively supportive if your partner is suffering. Many of them are for breaking through to an empowered position when the powerful patterns take over – when intimacy is not fun or simple romance, and you are both struggling to find a path to be loving in the midst of life stress and conflicts. Because, relationships are very confusing – they’re personal. When two people get intimate, another human becomes a very major your focus – you cannot separate yourself completely when you operate as a pair. And that can make you feel frustrated, overwhelmed and powerless - And when someone it comes to one partner’s suffering, it can be very difficult to deal – because it’s your life, too. There are three parts – the what, the why and the how – the tools. This one is for Katie – I hope this helps!! For the blog version check out TeaspoonOfHappy.com later this week. Smile lovely friends!! xox

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A Teaspoon of Happy Sep 16, 2015

This is a different kind of power-up episode to inspire a positive state of life. It’s a simple one that I offer you as you begin your weekend. And yes, it’s called “A teaspoon of happy” – just like my blog title! What does that mean? It’s super cutesy and girly, yes. It sounds good on a site like Hello Giggles, yes. But it’s actually my methodology – my approach to happiness. Because I think of it as a recipe. One I would like to offer you. I hope you enjoy! xox

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Episode 62: Where We Hold Pain: How Negative Emotions Get Stuck in Our Bodies Sep 11, 2015

Just like stress can cause you to get a tight knot in the muscles of your back, so too can other parts of your body hold tight to things like fear or anger or even malform due to a particular belief system. Things like a pervasive feeling of lack in life can manifest in physical form in the way we digest food. You’ve probably heard things like this a million times and thought to yourself, “Ha - yeah right!” Because it’s a heady concept and not something you could TEST with a beaker tube. The power of the mind over the body comes off as super new-agey and therefore we all to often put it in the bullshit pile. But the affects of how we hold onto emotional pain are quite severe, they manifest in disease and damage your gene code for future generations– so in my opinion, why not lean in favor of, “do something about it, regardless” because there’s nothing to lose, everything to gain. OR, even just decide to stay open to what I am saying purely for the sake of practicing openness. In broad strokes, I will go through some of the connections between emotions we hold onto and where they tend to get stuck in our body- plus a few tools to do something about it. There are several books on the particular topics that I will post at the end of the blog version of this podcast, but in truth – if you suffer from chronic pain go to a doctor! And if you suffer severe emotional pain, see a therapist! This is not a substitute for either of those. So you know what you’re getting into – this is an episode all about the body, with a lot of yoga poses to soothe particular negative emotions that get stuck in your body. If that doesn’t appeal to you – you probably won’t like this episode– but I will bet you get something valuable out of it regardless. This is about the body, so I’m going to talk about things like pooping – so if that’s not what you want to listen to right now, then maybe save this for another time. There are three parts – the what, the why and the how. I hope you enjoy lovely peeps. xoxoxo

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What's the Rush? Sep 09, 2015

Hi peeps! This is an emotional power-up episode for those who hate to be bored, who have a constant habit of hurrying through life. For increasing mindfulness around the habit of rushing: when 'it’s not enough, you’re not there yet, life is frustrating, why are things so slow, stupid, boring' etc. It’s easy to get into a kind of permanent unconscious state – being in a hurry comes with the speed of pretty much all technology. It’s your job to be deliberate about slowing yourself down. So in the moment you recognize yourself rushing – or impatient, stop and take a look around in that moment. Really recognize the details inherent in that moment and appreciate them. Think to yourself that maybe, they are exactly as they are for a very good reason. The way they are is the way they should be – and you are not meant to be further ahead than you are. Witness what there is to appreciate in the individual moment. And practice just being with it. Accepting it. As exactly what it’s meant to be – even if that’s nothing exciting. See the value in that moment being just that: a moment. It doesn’t have to be – and shouldn’t be “SOMETHING” for it to have value. Why? Because a sentence needs air, it’s with the pauses – with pacing, comes a natural texture and flow. It’s where our experience can drink up the organic beauty vs. muscle and control it. Like fighting a current when you can instead just flow with it. Smile lovely friends! Have a request? Write me! @sarahmaybee or sarahmaybee@me.com xo For more of my writing, check out http://www.TeaspoonOfHappy.com

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Episode 61: Frustration and Dissatisfaction: I’m Not Where I Want to Be and That Sucks. Aug 26, 2015

If you’re in a place of constant frustration with your current life – wanting to be somewhere in the future or wishing life was better, like it was in the past. Maybe you are working toward some kind of personal growth and you’re getting mad at the slow speed its happening. Or you’ve been struggling to make something happen for a long time and it’s not happened yet – and you’re getting super bummed out. This one is dedicated to my Grandma, Irene May – who recently passed. She was one of my favorite people I ever had the privilege to know. This is all about shifting perspective toward openness. Becoming receptive and loosening your need to control. There’s a meditation, plus an acceptance ritual – it’s chocked full of stuff! I hope you enjoy. xox Smile y’all!

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Episode 60: Crankiness: For Anger, Meanness and Chronic Negativity Aug 17, 2015

Are you in a state of “I hate this” or “people are morons” or are you just generally over something about life? Well this episode is for anger of all kinds – from crankiness to annoyance, all the way to pure hatred and ‘fuck this shit to hell.’ What I am really addressing is the mental and physical state itself – because it’s not what you want, it can wreak havoc on your body, those around you, and worst of all, it perpetuates itself. Unhappiness cultivates unhappiness. If you’re interested in listening to this I assume that’s because you are well aware this is bringing you down and it’s not what you want – but you can’t seem to help yourself out of the situation because there are external factors that make that impossible. Life is full of triggers – work, traffic, not to mention – other angry people, so this is to address how you can remove their affect regardless. So without further ado – there are 3 parts to this puppy – the what, the why, and the how: the tools. Yay. Let’s do this! Check out TeaspoonofHappy.com later this week for the blog version of this post. Smile friends! xo

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Emotional Heaviness: Releasing Sorrow, Stress and Emotional Muck Aug 12, 2015

Hi friends, this is an emotional cleansing power up episode for clearing sorrow and stress and emotional muck. It's best to listen to it while you take a short walk outside. It’s a visualization meditation of sorts, one you can do with your eyes open. If you can’t do this while walking, I recco you do this while in a yoga inversion of some sort. It focuses on calming your nervous system with breathing exercises, and its one I do myself - quite often. I hope you like! xox Sarah May B.

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Episode 59: Ex-Obsessed: Emotionally Devastated and Driving Yourself Insane Aug 04, 2015

For when you’re in the break-up zone that causes you to obsess over the person you just broke up with. This is for anyone who has just been broken up with or broken up with a person that they felt they loved – and now you’re obsessing and even Facebook stalking this person. Maybe you know this is not helpful but you can’t stop wanting to know what they’re doing, who they’re with, who they’re seeing now and what that person looks like. And that is hurting you even more! But it’s an obsession and you can’t stop. Firstly – I am so sorry you’re here! This time will end. You are in the hardest part right now – and the more you can do to be self-loving and be nice to yourself, the faster this will end. I’ve been here myself and it blows. But you can half the time you suffer if you do everything in your power to do what you know is best for yourself. And that includes some healthy tough love when it comes to policing yourself and what you allow your focus to rest on. This kind of a break up is way worse because it’s hitting you on multiple fronts – in other words, this is not just about the loss of love. With all break-ups, time is the greatest healer – but in addition to that, I want to empower you with some insight into your “why” so that you can begin to separate from the process you’re victim to, currently: the obsessing and salting the wound. So you can see the difference between the kinds of suffering: and see what is NOT truly coming from love. As usual there are three parts. The what the why and the how – the tools. This is for Chelsea. I heart you girl! Hang in there. X

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Episode 58: The Importance of Being Present Jul 23, 2015

Hi peeps! This is an episode with a short meditation in part 3. It covers why soothing your body and reducing the chatter in your brain is the key to your ultimate happiness. As a society we tend to get hyper focused. We get into the groove of our job or our relationships – and we get stressed by how many things there are to worry about. Am I doing well as a person? Am I successful?” When will I get to the right level? How can I be more of what I want to be? Suddenly we’re looking straight down at our feet and trying to take bigger steps instead of keeping our eyes to the beautiful sunrise on the horizon. This is almost like an introduction to my podcast in that it is truly the KEY to every positive change you want to make in your life. It is also the key to happiness and also the key to finding your life’s purpose. What is it? Ready? Listen intently. Consciousness: Feeling the feelings that are going through your body as they come. Being fully connected to that awareness and not “occupied” be a roaring sea of thoughts or rapid firing fears and analysis. Sometimes it’s like facing a roaring lion because some terrible awful stuff lives inside us in many moments of our life. Feeling hopeless, or worthless or afraid of what if’s to come. And yet, we must allow ourselves to feel those things - it's the key to building your ultimate life. This is an episode with three parts. The general what, why, and then as a tool, I end with a meditation. Check out TeaspoonOfHappy.com later this week for the blog version of this post and I hope you enjoy this! Smile lovelies! xox Sarah-May

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Episode 57: The Average Case of Body Dysmorphia - Ugliness In the Eyes of the Beholder Jul 11, 2015

This one’s for planet earth. We all have an internal self portrait –and that is created by the way we feel about who we are. There are SOOOOO many factors that control how we feel about ourselves – and what we perceive as our flaws. And that’s why BD is such a big problem: it looks and acts like “normal” self-image concerns. It walks and talks like vanity. And, yet, it destroys the average person’s happiness in so many ways across a lifetime, unchecked. Your self-image is a distorted hallucination – one heavily affected by your fears, vulnerabilities, your brain chemicals, and the way you integrate information from the world around you. AND when it comes to how we view our flaws, it has no connection to how the world views you or your actual physical appearance. That’s one reason this is such a powerful and rising problem is because it’s a kind of suffering that’s veiled as “normal.” An every-growing percentage of the population is dissatisfied with some or many traits of their physical appearance. When everyone you know obeys the same standard and marketing and media reinforce the irrational bar – how would you ever know there was another option? For the resources mentioned check out teaspoonofhappy.com later this week. Smile y'all! Xo

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Episode 56: How to get over it: How to stop old conflicts from stunting your present life Jun 29, 2015

This is for people who are aware of when old issues are entering their present and they know they don’t want that to be happening. Our old memories operate like a trigger/pattern system. Think of it as a pinball machine called “My Pain Game” and it makes the shape of your brain with all sorts of memories that you allow to define who you are, what is allowed to affect you and what you focus on and feel. You have that little pinball that lies latent but when it’s triggered – it shoots around your brain and activates different zones of pre-set actions. Those zones are things like, “ There are two little paddles you get to control at the base of this game. Your emotionally driven reaction depends on where you choose to hit this ball. If you hit it hard, it shoots into “pain and drama.” When you don’t hit it at all, it drops off the board. The point being – you are the one who keeps the ball in play. So when it goes into a certain area, it activates new triggers that are not controlled by you. Those little “hot spots” that shoot it even harder – these emotional hotspots take over the game and the ball will shoot around the table at top speed. The ball makes its way around and back to our hands – and what we tend to do is shoot it back up again, causing it to replay the series of triggers we have all over our “memory of self.” Just like a pinball machine – often it feels in our mind like we have no control and we are not to blame for this patterned response. However – ultimately we have control, and we can choose to keep the ball in play or not. Our power comes into play when we actually choose to USE that control in the moment it counts. When we have the brief moment of awareness – that we are about to play out our game again. Aren’t you sick of the game? I bet you are – because what you’re losing right now is quality of life. If your old pain is old enough, it’s likely voiced by the rationale of a child – so the childhood logic, which is petty and small – is still operating you. Even if the situation is recent and totally unrelated to your childhood dynamics –the same baggage will pilot you when a trigger comes up. Don’t let it. You’re a grown up now. And grownups can look at things and put them down already. Old pain is totally unnecessary and the only person it robs is YOU. You hurt you by wasting your valuable moments in an old automatic loop of behaviors and thoughts and reactions. Who wants to play this now? It’s old, dusty and not fun. For more visit Teaspoonofhappy.com and please review me if you like this! xo

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Episode 55: Jealousy – How to Rise Above Your Weakest Self Jun 19, 2015

Jealousy, or a perception of your insecurities come to life. How does it sneak into your mind? Your darkest thoughts in your most fearful voice begin scratching at your feelings, dragging you down and causing you to act as your lowest self. You assume you are less than and life is against you somehow. You're either not enough, or something else outside of you is not enough. What is this emotional state? Your lowest form of self, the self that is motivated by fear and hate, put in a threatened defensive position. Think of it as You minus your awareness of what is good and loving in this world. This low emotional self is also called your irrational self. Most of jealousy acts as a hallucination. It does not show you reality it shows you insecure self-loathing reality: in that world, no one likes you and all the fears you have about yourself are true. For many of us it is clear that we are in an emotionally charged, irrational state – however, we cannot stop ourselves from wanting to “solve” for the perceived insult. “Is it true?! If so, how true? I need to know!” Nothing will quench the irrational need to compute “why” we have been betrayed: we go into loops of solving, calculating, tallying, replaying. And jealousy has a very potent ability to madden us for that reason: it’s all consuming, it belittles us, and we are aware it’s inside of us and us alone. A self-inflicted pain with the power to torture and haunt our every moment. You will never arrive at your truth through jealousy - you can only do that from a calm, objective vantage point - so this is all about stepping back from the emotion so you can regain your sound thinking. The power behind jealousy is also the key to undoing it: it does not live in reality – it lives in our reaction to reality. So we can indeed help ourselves when we struggle in the triggered moments. Hopefully, I will offer you a few tools to help you navigate out of it and back to your true and highest self: grounded, making decisions from a balanced and sane mindset. There are three parts: The what. They why. The how: the tools. This one is for Fran - thanks for writing me and I hope you likee! xox Sarah May B.

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Episode 54: Stuck in Survival Mode – When Worry Takes Over Your Life Jun 08, 2015

For when you can’t stop feeling worried or obsessed with what is threatening your stability in life – a stress response based on past traumas or recent ones, for that matter. In this episode, ‘survival mode’ is the term we are giving a pervasive sense of fear and stress and anxiety over issues that are not a real threat, though they are experienced in hypotheticals. Survival mode drives people to obsessively think about painful things: things past, things to come, analyzing and solving endlessly. In other words – like the worst version of brain overdrive you can imagine and all the time. It’s so powerful that it takes over your life. This can come in varying degrees – from intolerable writhing panic to manageable but potent worry. Regardless, it’s always something that keeps you outside of your life – unable to truly engage and enjoy it as you see others do. Living in survival mode, you want to run and you don’t know where. This one is for Heather! I heart you girl – hope this helps the teensiest bit. For more of my writing head to TeaspoonofHappy.com

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Episode 53: Love Languages: Overcoming Emotional Baggage So You Can Better Receive and Give Love May 31, 2015

This is for anyone who has conflicts with someone they care about who wants to figure out ways to get out of those conflicts fast and productively. It’s about our emotional baggage – specifically the unmet needs from our childhood, and how those block us from being able to see and receive the love from people in our life currently. I will focus on how to get out of conflicts and pain and move into happiness and get more of what you want. How to better love others and better encourage love back. It’s a set of tools to stay out of blaming and resenting and let go of what you think they should do. So that you can empower yourself to get to more of what you DO want – which is shared affection and happiness. Hi friends! I’ve been away for a bit because I got hitched! It was awesome and wonderful. And now I’m back! I will do the usual 3 parts: The What, The Why, The How – the tools. And to be clear – this is about all relationships that involve conflicts between the needs of others and your own. About relationships that involve needs of others and your own – and when those don’t match up. For more check out TeaspoonOfHappy.com Smile peeps! xo This one’s for Lara from Spain – thanks for writing me girl! :)

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Episode 52: How to Stop Negative Thoughts May 10, 2015

This episode is about noticing negative thought patterns when they’re happening. What are negative thoughts? Bad habits. They’re not You – they’re the voice of a bad computer framework operating through you being fed by a chemical addition. You are now used to the chemical results of this thinking, so your brain wants to repeat it. They are the trained in ways of being – basically muscle memory but in your brain. So based on old experiences, just like a river wants to flow down the lowest path, so do your thoughts follow existing trained in currents. The more often you have these thoughts – the stronger the habit becomes. In other words, you have trained in the path of the river with repetition. As a result of that – you now perceive and look for this thought habit in your everyday life – like if you’re thinking of mean people who hate you, you will see mean people who hate you. Because it’s your mindset now. Plus, now that you are looking for this thing, you find it – so negative thinking becomes self-fulfilling. What is most important about all of this: it’s all totally unconscious. The fact that they’re unconscious is also the key to stopping these thoughts! This episode is broken up into three parts. What. Why. How aka Tools. For the blog version, check out TeaspoonofHappy.com later this week. It also has my book references for anyone who wants to read further. Smile friends! xox For more of the Buddhist psychological types – check out “The Chemistry of Joy” – linked here: https://goo.gl/diu91t

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Episode 50: How To Break Away From A Narcissist Relationship May 04, 2015

This is for a person who filled out my survey – I don’t know your name, but this is for you! I hope it helps. You asked how to break out of the vicious cycle of a narcissistic relationship. Because it can be extremely terrifying and painful and feel much like a hostage situation. The reason is that if you are in a relationship with a narcissist – you know how ruthless and dark their punishing can be. It also goes deep into your heart strings, puppeting you around like a raw nerve. In other words – they are master controllers and know exactly what to do to make you do what they want. And also they are WILLING to do it, at all costs. This episode is 3 parts – the what, they why, the tools. I will also provide a download for you on my site in case you are in a bad place and need to get a map out of this. For more check out Teaspoonofhappy.com and enter the headspace contest to win a year of free meditation!! Smile lovely friends - and look for the blog version of this post in the next week on Teaspoon.

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Episode 51: We Are The Slashies - 5 Ways to Grow as a Working Creative May 04, 2015

What is a slashie? A creative person who knows that their day job isn't their real job: a busboy/actor; waitress/screenwriter/photographer; singer/production designer/legal secretary. Your slash is your professional makeup. In other words, most of us - if we are honest with ourselves. Because a creative thinker is many things, today if you are a slashie you are forging a new path in a wide open sea of opportunity, but you likely haven’t solved for that single, money-making passion just yet. But that’s a good thing – unlike how it might feel to a slashie – this stage is part of the process. Slashies are a growing percentage of the workforce because careers nowadays don’t have “work experience.” A creator can build a new app/community/business overnight and because of that, new job definitions are being invented every day. Thanks to equal opportunity of the internet, it’s like a claim-jumper era for creatives with a desire to build something new. It can be hard to choose a new career or even entertain the idea because if you are an adult, you want to be stable and have security. Because, hey - when you're a grownup, that’s what you are supposed to do. Thankfully nowadays there are all sorts of new avenues for creative thinkers to pursue professional careers based on their particular aesthetic and passions. So that’s what this is about. Five ways to better pursue your creative passions and figure out what can take your slashes to a more convenient or purpose-driven definition – for you as a creative voice with one lifetime on this earth. References: For the instagram marketing webinar head to: Ilovecreatives.com For B-school head to marieforleo.com For General Assembly, head to generalassemb.ly To find my reading list, head to: teaspoonofhappy.com/reading-list

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Episode 49: Emotional Eating: How to Tackle Negative Soothing Habits Tied to Food Apr 24, 2015

Emotional Eating in this episode translates as negative soothing habits around food that relate to specific emotional states. So, depending on your dynamic, that could mean binging, constant eating in an unconscious state, or feelings of powerlessness with a complete lack of control that feels similar to being possessed or out of body. If you’re not an emotional eater, if you have pretty much any negative emotional-soothing habits, you will likely get something out of this podcast. It’s about how we have grown patterns of soothing – and also a few tools for objectively tackling them at the root. Food is often a metaphor for how we deal with fear. And pain. We either soothe we run we lash out we deny. In Buddhism, they call these psychological types out as the grasping/fear type, the rejecting/anger type, or the denial/adrift type. So depending on your type, you will react to stress in a predictable set of ways if you have grown used to coping with specific bad habits. For example – with food. There are 3 parts to this episode: What, Why, plus 3 Tools that work for me – that can give you a starting point. I will post the blog version on TeaspoonOfHappy.com later this week with my reading references. And if you haven’t already –check out the contest to win a year of meditation! Headspace y’all. It’s the ish. Head here to enter that little gem: http://www.teaspoonofhappy.com/headspace-contest And smile! Xox Sarah-May

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Manufacturing the Capacity for Happiness Apr 15, 2015

This is a little power-up episode about creating more joy-filled and memorable moments in your life. Happiness is a thought-habit that for many of us, requires constant maintenance and deliberate focus. Though there are many reasons to feel grateful for our life – they’re all around us all the time - in order to be capable of feeling that value, we need contrast. Contrast meaning the complimentary opposite of gratitude and appreciation: pain or difficult striving. In other words, a constant state of awareness of value (happiness) often arrives from a true understanding of its absence (pain). Without that contrast, it’s easy for life to get stuck in a middle array of emotions – a permanent state of “so-so” or “okay.” When you live in this state for long enough, powerful emotions like gratitude and happiness are assigned to a set of general milestones (birthdays, weddings, getting a promotion etc) but outside of that it can be frustrating to find a true sense of joy. The real kind – that moves you to tears, or sticks in your memory for the rest of your life. So that kind of joy is what I want to talk about. You have the power to create that range in your life, minus the negative contrast. It’s a super power you are likely unaware of until you actually put it to use: but when you approach life in this way, you are also expanding your capacity to feel love, gratitude and happiness. So if you’re interested in having more of those real joyful moments, this is a podcast for you. And if you want to read the blog version of this I will post it shortly on TeaspoonOfHappy.com Smile lovely friends! xox

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Episode 48: Busyness Junkies: Breaking the Habit of Stress and Over-Scheduling Apr 14, 2015

This is about the value of stepping back from your preoccupations to do more nothing. Busyness is a cultural habit that is also an addiction. Physiologically as well as on a level of personal identity. Are you one of those people who is sooo busy and you can’t tell where the time is going? When you see someone and they ask how you are – do you find yourself inclined to say, “I am soooo busy.” It’s a state we can all relate to. It’s also often a boast hidden in a complaint. Culturally we have all agreed to take on this state of life – thanks to texting and smart phones and email and social media. They are making you mentally connected to all people and obligations and stores and humans simultaneously. Hence- the empty private time with yourself, alone is gone! The biggest downside of the busyness pattern is you trade your life, day by day, to this insecurity. It can happen without you noticing, quite simply because your not present. You are caught up in your busy thoughts. So that’s what today’s podcast is about: slowing down – and stopping. Literally, I am going to promote the idea of doing nothing. Nothing but being. Hanging out. Nothing on your agenda. No one to respond to – nothing to pick up, attend, return. When was the last time you sat in an extended amount of time – like that? The episode has three parts. Part 1: Why aim to do nothing. Part 2: Self-Diagnosis. Part 3: 3 Tools to help you free up your time. And to download the Journal Exercises mentioned in the episode head here: https://teaspoonofhappy.squarespace.com/busyness AND if from April-June 2015, if you haven’t yet, please enter the Headspace contest to win a year awesome mind-soothing meditations! http://www.teaspoonofhappy.com/headspace-contest This episode is dedicated to Irene May Bates - my grandmother and one of my heroes. She makes the most valuable moments in your day.

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Episode 47: What to Look For in a Therapist Apr 04, 2015

Hi friends, This is my personal list of what to look for when choosing a therapist, plus a few basic tactics to attack the task. Take what helps and leave the rest! It’s an amazing and important gift to give yourself and it’s more worth it than anything you will spend money on for the rest of your life – quite simply, because it will change your life – everything about it and everyone in it – for the better. I send you my love and positivity – and if you have time, please please leave me a review on iTunes – it’s super important to me and I love to read them. And if you haven’t already, please enter the contest to win a year of Headspace! If you are listening to this in the months of April to June 2015. Enter here: http://www.teaspoonofhappy.com/headspace-contest For the blog version check out http://www.teaspoonofhappy.com later this week! xo!

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Nego-Habit Shift: Make One Small Change to Make a Massive Difference Apr 04, 2015

Hi peeps! This is a power-up episode to create one small positive change in yourself starting today. I want you to look at one thing in your life that you can and will change for the better. Because it's all about upkeep and the trajectory as a whole. What can you do today that will take no effort at all? Let's tackle that together - because you would be amazed at how easy change is when you don't feel the affects one tiny bit. It's spring, y'all! Let's do some soul cleaning! For more of my writing and to sponsor me head to http://www.teaspoonofhappy.com I heart you all! Smile! xo Sarah-May B.

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Episode 46: Going Nowhere: Stuck in a Bad Relationship Mar 30, 2015

This is for anyone who is currently romantically involved with someone who is not treating you well and you are taking it, and it hurts. You know it’s not right but you can’t seem to leave it for some reason. This situation betrays your foundational values, and in staying in it, you betray yourself and what’s important to you. What do you want for your future? Because you get to decide what’s important to you. That’s what this episode is about. Are you tolerating and accepting less than what you want from another? Are you giving more and receiving less? Are you operating on less than a trustworthy bond? Are you dating someone who won’t commit to you or maybe they don’t want the same things you want but you’re still hanging around “just because you don’t have anything better at the moment.” Maybe you are in a committed relationship but you want more – you want better – you want this to go to the next stage: moving in, getting married, or just better treatment – but this person is “complicated” and it’s not how they roll. Maybe you break up occasionally but always end up getting back together. Maybe they decide they need a break and then they come back again as soon as you become too visibly independent. In case you are wondering, yes, this is for every gender and all kinds of relationships because it’s a topic that relates to your relationship with yourself. It doesn’t have to be a guy doing this to a girl – everyone can be squirrely and everyone can want and expect a real relationship from a person they choose to share their life and soul with. It’s all a valid and realistic dream and goal to have. And it’s something you choose for yourself. It’s a common situation to be in for an adult. You end up in a relationship that’s not aligned with what you want for yourself and you can’t figure out an exit and you just kind of get stuck. What I am going to do is hopefully enlighten you as to why you’re there and what needs to change for you to confront the change that needs to happen for you to get to where you’re meant to be. Where are you meant to be? In a mutually loving and supportive relationship based on the terms and values that you choose for yourself. So, with someone who deserves your love. So let’s go there together, shall we? Emma this one is written for you. I hope it changes the way you see things so that you can change what it is that has you stuck, presently. xo! For more of my writing head to http://www.teaspoonofhappy.com To check out the Personal Priorities Pond I mention in the episode, head here: https://soundcloud.com/helpmebeme/episode-44-personal-priorities-pond-a-self-esteem-building-exercise

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Personal Happy Place: For When You're Stuck in a Place in Life You Don't Want to Be Mar 23, 2015

Hi loves, this is to use anytime this week or this month – it’s a little tool for regaining control of the wheel of your person, in the face of enduring places, people or situations that are not to your liking. It’s called “Happy Place.” The situation, though it sucks and tests your tolerance and ability to pursue what you want despite this situation – is NOT helped by your succumbing to focusing on the pain and unhappiness. Anger is toxic to your body so you are not only hurting your physical health, you are actively causing yourself MORE agony by focusing on it while it’s happening. Often we have an unconscious habit of savoring the sheer magnitude of annoyances in our life and relishing our increased stress or fatigue or the level of idiocy around ourselves. That unconscious savoring is your worst enemy. Is taking time to acknowledge what it is you don’t like and you might not even notice you’re celebrating it again and again because it’s a habit. So now’s the podcast power up to make note of it! The stupid-crap-from-my-day-celebrations stop today! This week! Yay for today! For more of my writing- including my newsletter, head to Teaspoonofhappy.com

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Episode 45: What's the Work in Self-Work - Sizing Up the Personal Growth Ahead Mar 16, 2015

What is self work? It’s acknowledging something in yourself that needs to be addressed for the sake of growing. It’s what you decide to do when you look at your life and decide you’re not so stoked to be where you are. It’s a moment of clarity – or fed-up-ness with the conditions of yourself and your inability to do anything about them – maybe you’ve been stuck in a pattern you want to break, or you looked up one day and realized you aren’t where you thought you’d be and time is flying by. Most importantly, self-work is the beginning of your life in many ways. It’s the moment you become aware that you have the power to create the self you want to be, in every shape and form – and because that is such an epic and wonderful thing – you make the decision to act on that information by taking steps in an educated direction toward doing that work. And what a profoundly exciting move that is. In my opinion, it’s the best decision you could ever make in your life. I gotta admit, this post made me a bit choked up. I hope you enjoy it – and if you did, please visit my new Patreon.com profile! If you like this content, please support it – any amount counts. Sending you my love and lots and lots of positivity. xox Smile my lovely friends! Xox Sarah-May B. To sponsor this podcast, you can visit: https://www.patreon.com/sarahmayb If you have a moment, please take this survey - it will help me help you, better – which is what I dream to do! http://www.teaspoonofhappy.com/blog/survey Thanks in advance! xoxo And, I hope you dig my new Podcast theme - it's by Booker Hill Music, right here on Soundcloud! Check 'em out! https://soundcloud.com/booker-hill-music/treetops?in=booker-hill-music/sets/all

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Episode 44: Personal Priorities Pond - A Self-Esteem Building Exercise Mar 13, 2015

Personal Lily-pads: A Self-Esteem Building Exercise Around Priorities Hi peeps, this is an exercise for you to use to improve your personal alignment with your priorities and simultaneously boost self-esteem. It’s actually a process used to heal in any injury in the body – you strengthen the muscles around the area that has been injured in order to give it the time and support to heal. For example, when you hurt your shoulder, you might be told by doctors to strengthen the muscles around it. The same goes for your personality. The more of yourself that you dedicate to diverse passions and strengths, the stronger you become and the more confident you feel. It’s also how you can heal yourself the most quickly. When it comes to a painful loss of a part of your definitions of self, your other passions and roles can grow bigger and help support you in the place of what is gone. So if you are looking to become more stable and confident, this is a self-esteem building exercise for you – and I HIGHLY recommend you do it in a journal. It’s a process that applies to everyone and it has to do with the various skills and passions and practices that identify you to you. For more of my writing head to teaspoonofhappy.com xo!

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Episode 43: Parents Just Don’t Understand: for the pain caused by parents who didn’t do their job Mar 06, 2015

Your relationship with your parents can be attached to a lot of big feelings of hurt or anger because it’s such a major relationship in your life! Your parents! So if you are struggling with your relationship to them it can be emotionally overwhelming to say the least. So this is a podcast for when you end up getting hurt by your parents so you cut them out of your life in some degree to protect yourself. Maybe you hide things from them because you know they won’t be able to understand, or you try desperately to get their approval and they never give it no matter what. OR maybe you try to keep a balance but always getting burned in the end by something thoughtless they do to you. Or maybe you’ve cut them out of your life altogether because it’s just too painful. So if any of this sounds familiar, this is a podcast for you. Because this is one of the most relevant relationships of your life, it can have a really powerful affect on your emotions and your understanding of your very self. This one’s for Ken – thanks for the suggestion! This is a big topic and is sure to reach a lot of people – thank you!! For more of my writing head to http://www.TeaspoonOfHappy.com and check out the blog for the written version of this podcast. I send you my love and if you have any requests, by all means send me an email! Smile y’all! Xoxoo Sarah May B.

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Episode 42: Prison of Thoughts-Recognizing the Ego That Has Blocked You from Happiness Feb 23, 2015

Okay, yes, this is a melodramatic title but it’s because this is a big deal and it’s causing millions of people to suffer from a whole slew of different side effects. Maybe you’ve felt it – anxiety, worry, a lack of focus. You feel hollow and nothing seems to quench it. You get a little retail therapy because you’re kind of just “meh” about life, just unfulfilled. It’s a modern condition that robs many across the globe of their happiness, inner peace, and keeps them trapped in helpless inaction. What I am explaining is a false identity of “self” that manifests from the dominance of our thoughts. Thoughts that appear to us as the voice of our soul – that dictate how we are feeling, what we want, what we need, what we’re worried about – what we should be doing. And often, all at once. Our thoughts often won’t shut up regardless of how hard we try to soothe and distract. They also mislead us into thinking we can find happiness and relief if we just follow their orders. But this is what this episode is about. The condition is the thoughts have staged a coo. Contrary to how it might feel, thoughts are not You. Think of them right now as they are passing through your mind. They narrate in your voice. They chatter of needs, they report feelings – but these thoughts are not “YOU.” Who are you then? You are the one observing your thoughts. You are a being – you are Awareness. Whichever term appeals to you more. One perceiving the physical through the use of this body. And at one point in your life – probably so far back that you can’t remember it, you had no thoughts like this. You had no constant inner monologue. You were probably around 7 years old, sitting in a classroom – bored, but your mind was completely silent. No narration. Just you, there, totally present, and observing. So if you suffer from this condition, I am going to describe how it works, in my laymen’s words in the hopes that you will be able to understand it and then perceive it. The tools to help it? The tool is just this podcast. It’s aim is to remind you that you are Awareness. That’s all. How to get outside of this prison. This is for you, Christina! Hope you like it!! xox Smile y'all! For more of my writing head to http://www,TeaspoonOfHappy.com I will post the blog version of this later this week. If you want to do your own reading, this information is all straight out of two books, "A New Earth" by Eckhart Tolle and "Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself" by Dr. Joe Dispenza

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Episode 41: What Do They Think: How to Stop Obsessing About Other People’s Thoughts Feb 21, 2015

Has it ever happened to you – that you do something nice for someone else and they don’t respond and so part of you is worried they didn’t like it, but then you start to get mad, because you are thinking – they should have appreciated that gesture! And how could they?! So uncaring. Wow – they are really a jerk, after all. Or, maybe there’s someone in your workplace who gave you a dirty look – and you can’t figure out why, did they hear something? Do they really just dislike you? And if so, why? You didn’t do anything to them. Maybe you try to be nice and they don’t acknowledge you at all and now you just feel uncomfortable. The tension makes you feel nervous and distracted because you are nice! AND didn’t do anything wrong! If this sounds like you and you do everything in your power to talk yourself out of it, but still can’t seem to soothe the obsessive thoughts of everything from worry to hate to insecurity and self-doubt, then this is a podcast for you! It’s got some information about why this happens plus some methods to soothe the obsession. And most importantly, how to curb your need for validation from other people when it’s hurting you to do so. For more of my writing, check out TeaspoonOfHappy.com Smile lovely friends!!! And if you like this, please show me some love! It helps me a lot a lot! xox Sarah May B. (This one's for you - Ambika! Hope it helps xox)

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Episode 40: Personal Goal Misalignment - When You're Not Getting the Results You Want Feb 17, 2015

This is an episode about aligning your actions to your true wants in life. I challenge you to ask yourself what are you allowing to happen in your life that’s not aligned with what you want. This is for anyone who’s been wanting something in a certain area of life – maybe it’s love, career or health, and you’re just not getting what it is you want. A lot of the time you don’t get the things you want because you are unknowingly acting against yourself. Because sometimes we have unconscious actions that are the true reason for us not seeing the results we want. In this episode I will cover a few simple tools on the three categories. For all of them, the solution begins with taking a personal inventory of your behavior: literally, begin to observe yourself and your habits everyday by creating a behavior log. What you’re looking to record: any and all habits and actions around the pursuit of your goal. Because the real misalignment will show up in those details. It might surprise you to see yourself from an objective standpoint, because most of the time misaligned behavior is totally unconscious. We have no idea how we are blocking ourselves – and sometimes it’s a form of self-sabotage. Like a strange unconscious fear of the thing we truly want. For example, when you are looking for a real relationship but you are biding your time with the flings you know are not the ones you want. You THINK you are desperately seeking love when you are in REALITY staying comfortable with the ones you don’t feel threatened by: the easy and available. Your actions? NOT ALIGNED. So to help you become more aware of the accidental misalignments in your actions and goals I will go over three topics in detail: Love, Career, and Health. The tools are very simple and the core of them? Just awareness and focus. For more of my writing check out TeaspoonOfHappy.com – and smile my lovelies! Xo Sarah May B.

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Feeling Isolated When You're Working Hard to Make Positive Change Feb 16, 2015

This is a power-up episode for when you’re in the process of personal change and you suffer the feeling of isolation that happens when you’re not like everyone else. Your goals are more absolute and because you’re training in a new habit – you have to stay strongly committed to them so that they really stick. It’s this part of creating new change that takes priority over other social pleasantries like parties. And when you’re the only one who’s trying to confront issues, it can be lonely when everyone else seems to be numbing them and moving in the opposite direction. This is a power up episode to help you stay the course and remind yourself you started this path because it’s a worthy one. Now’s the time to keep going. This is inspired by my new friend on Soundcloud (you know who you are). For more of my writing head to TeaspoonofHappy.com And if you like this please, please review me or follow me on Soundcloud! And I love comments and letters and reviews. Xox Smile friends!

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Struggling to Keep Up the Work When You Haven't Seen Results Feb 16, 2015

This is for anyone who is at the stage of personal growth where you haven't seen the change yet and you’re struggling with doubts about whether or not you should keep going at all. Maybe the positive affects are not obvious and therefore you don't have enough momentum to sustain your focus at the same level – so some part of you is suggesting you give up and accept that you are different than those who succeed. Maybe you're relying (barely) on sheer faith and your own will but doubts are sneaking in. This is an inspirational power-up from the sidelines from someone who can see where you are on the hill. Yes, it’s the toughest part – but this will hopefully help you keep going! Don’t stop now!!! You’re almost there! For more of my writing check out TeaspoonofHappy.com and smile lovely friends! This is for a friend on Soundcloud – you know who you are – and thanks for your inspiring note! xo Sarah-May B.

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Episode 39: Finding a State of Inner Balance-Tools for Strength-Building Feb 11, 2015

This is sort of a follow up to the “emotionally raw” episode – and it’s for Emily – I hope you like it! Because in a more pervasive sense you are in a stage of reintegrating your knowledge of life, yourself, and also healing from trauma, while growing into fortified new and improved version of your self. So if you are reeling from a recent discovery or the life you planned fell apart- this is for you. It’s a framework I would like to present to you in the hopes that it gives you a point to focus on as you move through this time. Because – yes, this time is painful, but it’s also a time of growth. You’re growing right now whether you know it or not. So this is my way of saying, “Hey! Look over here! Grow in this direction!” I know this time is sad and painful, but consider that this is all part of the path. It leads you to a better place that you’re meant to be in, that you would not have reached otherwise. Because of a breaking down of structures in your life, a big window just opened and there's a wonderful opportunity sitting there. What is it? A permanent approach to life that comes from a very rare and valuable perspective. Think of it as a new program that you can upload into your brain that gifts you relief from all self inflicted pain that results from the desire to predict and control. That means living with an innate understanding of the difference between what is, and is not within your control. It’s also an innate grasp on what it means to be you – as your true and best you, a person who remains on stable ground at all times. This program you are going to upload? Let's just call it your inner balance. For more, head to TeaspoonofHappy.com and don't forget to smile! xo

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Episode 38: Emotionally Raw and in a State of Pain Feb 04, 2015

This is for states of emotional pain - when you are trying to make it through the day-to-day in environments that don't make you feel safe. It's for anyone who has had something take the wind out of them lately and maybe you’re hurting pretty bad, and you feel very fragile as it is – and yet you’re out in the world in places that make you feel even more vulnerable. Maybe you’re working on healing but when you are exposed or raw in particular kinds of environments – it makes it really really hard to keep your head up and your eyes from twinkling. The super deep gut pain that makes you want to curl up in a ball in bed. This is for you – to hopefully ground you in those moments. When you are raw you will feel only completely aware of your vulnerability in the world – how fragile you feel emotionally, plus the deep bruise of whatever you have recently gone through. In short –this is a tough spot to be in. It can induce waves of gut-wrenching agony, causing you to wish there was an invisibility cloak. I will go through 1. Where you are: some perspective from outside of your pain to hopefully ground you. 2. What to expect moving forward 3. Some tools to use in the moment. I hope you likee and if you want to read more, check out TeaspoonOfHappy.com xo! This is for you, Fran! Hope it helps and hang in there. xox

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Brain Chatter Relief: A Daily Quieting Meditation Feb 04, 2015

This is a short-ish mindfulness meditation for you to do while sitting just about anywhere. It's a manual-brain-shut-down button for anyone who has incessant, non-stop thoughts that never seem to quiet down. That's a sign that there has been some imbalance created in you brain based on your lifestyle. To remedy it, I recco starting a daily meditation practice. This is one of those meditations (if you like it, that is.) To listen to it, find somewhere you can be alone and uninterrupted for at least half an hour - somewhere you are comfortable. It's under 15 minutes and should be completed in one sitting. If you like it, let me know and I'll make more! For more of my writing you can head to TeaspoonOfHappy.com Smile lovely friends! xox

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Outsmarting Negative Thought Patterns Feb 03, 2015

Hola Peeps, this is a little mental power up episode to help you manage persistent thought patterns. We all have moments we call out to ourselves via thought-instant-message, "You are now experiencing(fill in the blank familiar state of being)," despite our deliberate effort to change that state. It's that thought, in itself, that then creates our actual state moving forward. It’s often that semi-average, automated thought that we trust as legit - that tends to hold ultimate power over us. Thoughts like, "I'm tired." can alter the remainder of our thoughts for the rest of the day. Those automated thoughts also have the power to block us from mental stillness and calm. For example, even in the moment of attempting to quiet your mind, you might experience the thought, “I am having a hard time keeping my focus today.” That, too, is just a thought - and instead of taking it as gospel, we must instead observe it as just another automated mumble floating through our consciousness. So this is to hopefully help you separate from those mumbles so that you can dethrone them in favor of a happier you. For more check out http://www.TeaspoonOfHappy.com I hope you have a fantastic week! xo

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Episode 37: Training in a Positive Mindset Jan 31, 2015

Hi friends, this is for anyone who perhaps considers themselves a positive person but still has a hard time maintaining a positive mindset. OR maybe you are working on becoming more positive and you’re not quite there yet. This is a great topic because we all need some form of maintenance – whether you were born with a smile or you have to work on it quite a bit. Stefanie asked for some exercises or tips to improve positivity – so I recommended my happiness journal, which for daily positivity reinforcement. If you want to get one, you can order on TeaspoonOfHappy.com – and if you don’t want to purchase it, I am going to go over what it contains so you can do the same thing in any daily journal that suits you. Basically the gist of it is your mindset takes daily maintenance. It’s something that requires your attention on a daily basis. That doesn’t mean it has to be tedious – in fact, it’s quite the opposite. There are a select few people in the world who are born that way – that’s awesome for them, but for the rest of us – it’s something you decide to be and then you craft a daily practice that works for your life that you can do to maintain. This one's for Stefanie - thanks girl! xo

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Episode 36: The Badges That Define You and Dictate Your Self-Worth Jan 28, 2015

Hi my friends! Today’s podcast is about “badges” – or external factors that somehow take on supreme meaning in your life and dictate your self-worth – to you. Whether it’s a job, a number on the scale, a trophy or an expensive car – a badge can affect you so deeply that your whole world changes in the blink of an eye, almost like a hallucination. You might have experienced the results of wearing your badges when you’re either on a personal high or low – and the difference between the two worlds is vast and disorienting, despite how small the factors are when put in perspective. For example – let’s say you get an accolade at work: you feel like you’re a star, you’re so powerful and confident, you don’t need anyone! You don’t even need to call people back! You are that worth knowing, and everyone loves you. Maybe you more freely spend money because you’re going places! You look better in the mirror, you feel young, successful, sexy… “Man I impress everyone!” The flip side of that coin is pretty dark: when you feel you have failed at something or lack something meaningful. For example, maybe you met someone you liked and texted them, but never got a text back. Suddenly the same you will feel ugly, fat, clumsy, talentless, incapable, and perceive that everyone around you sees you as an imbecile. Suddenly this hallucination changes your interpretation of everything anyone says to you: you question whether or not your friends like you, whether or not you are smart, and even how you see your reflection. From this state of mind, you see your acne as horrendous! “How does anyone like me, at all?” And all of this happens in a split second: with one tiny bit of information, your view of yourself and your life - changes. That’s how powerful these external badges can be, and that is not how they should be. Because that is very unfair to you, to be owned by something so dumb – and it’s making you miss out on the real goods you might experience – you’re focusing on the wrong thing if you want to really understand and appreciate who you are. Which is great, and a gift of a person to know. So if you’re in a place where you feel bad about yourself based on an external definition – so much so that it has taken control of the opinion you hold about yourself– this is a podcast for you. Perhaps even listen to it twice, because if this is happening to you – this can be untrained just like any other bad habit. And you deserve for it to stop – cause you’re awesome! For the blog version, check out TeaspoonOfHappy.com later this week, and as always, smile peeps!! xox Sarah-May B.

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Episode 35: Justin Lyon on Yo Gabba Gabba, Inspiration and Success Jan 19, 2015

This is an interview with the wonderful and talented Justin Lyon – entrepreneur and all-around happy person. His ventures include Yo Gabba Gabba, The Unique Camp, Photo Fieldtrip, LuLaRoe clothing and photographer for Amelia Lyon Photography. If you’re a creative person looking to make what you love in your life into your livelihood, this is for you. We cover topics like inspiration, confidence, pursuing your dreams, spending time with your fam, being an awesome dad, working with your spouse – plus some valuable new resources out there for creators of all kinds. For the blog version of this post and the links to all we discuss, visit TeaspoonOfHappy.com later this week or check out HelloGiggles.com A couple links to get you started: https://twitter.com/justinlyon http://yogabbagabba.com http://amelialyon.net http://photofieldtrip.com http://theuniquecamp.com http://www.lularoe.com

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Episode 34: Besties: Zooey Deschanel on Childhood Memories and What Makes a Friendship Last Forever Jan 11, 2015

Today’s podcast is about what makes an awesome bestie so I’m interviewing my best friend of around 30 years – singer/songwriter/actress and all around wonderful girl – Zooey Deschanel. We discuss favorite childhood memories, fave dance moves, a few bestie hypotheticals, plus what qualities to look for in your own best friends! It’s basically a love fest about all our childhood memories so I hope you enjoy this one as much as I did! Xox Sarah May B. For more of my writing and the blog version of this interview, check out http://www.TeaspoonOfHappy.com later this week!

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Episode 33: Blindsided with a Broken-heart: When you lose something you thought you had forever. Jan 06, 2015

When you go through a devastating experience like being left by someone you thought was “yours for life” it can be unearthing of everything in your world. Shaking what you want, how you feel about yourself and the future, what you feel safe with – who you feel safe with. Aside the expected affects, the pain, the mourning, this kind of experience can have some very strange effects – because when you’re taken by surprise by something like a relationship, it’s traumatic. You have been shocked. So I will hopefully tackle some of the common ones – so you can see that you’re not crazy, it’s all quite natural, as well as hopefully offer you a timeline for how you might feel. One you can follow along with – so that you can best care for yourself and allow yourself to heal and grow. If this was a long-term relationship – or even a short one but one you relied on in immense ways, the loss can make you feel you have nothing to stand on. In short, it can level you and remove all safety from your life. You might be going through worry over what will come of your life – will you remarry? Will you ever love again, trust again? Are you loveable? Am I too old, am I stupid to have trusted this person? Was I the only one who didn’t know – how didn’t I know? What’s wrong with me that I didn’t see this coming? How do I even move on with love? Woah. Yeah, that’s a lot. So slow down. It’s going to be okay. It’s time to put that aside. Now is not the time you should be thinking about the future. You should simply focus on loving and caring for yourself right now. Truly, how could you tackle planning anything other than addressing your immediate needs – you just experienced a traumatic event in your life and you are in a recovery/healing mode – that’s what you need to be aware of most. All you need to do right now is make yourself feel soothed and healthy and balanced. If you’re going through a total limbo of character and it’s freaking you out, I will go through a couple of common reactions that happen when one is put through a trauma such as yours. And yes, it’s a “trauma” which means your person is likely having a hard time integrating this new information back into your brain alongside the rest of your experiences. So in short, a big shift is happening. Don’t worry! It’s all for the good. I hope I can help you stay balanced throughout it – hang in there, friend - because I know an event like this can rock you to your core. If you want to read more of my writing on a variety of other topics – and to see the blog version of this podcast, visit: http://www.TeaspoonOfHappy.com Smile y’all! Sending you my love… Sarah-May B. This is for Linda, I hope you like and hang in there girl!

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Episode 32: Sticktoitivness: When You Want to Give Up is When it's Most Important to Keep Going Jan 01, 2015

It’s that period of time when you’re not sure what to do – but nothing’s changing and you’re trying your hardest, and something better happen soon or else you just might give up. Whether you’re on a new health kick and not seeing dramatic results, or attempting to pursue a new career – often the most difficult to surmount is the master of disguise – the plateau. Oh, the old plateau will make life look pretty much the same for long enough that you start to get antsy. That you start to feel you might have already failed – or that change of course is needed – “I haven’t seen progress for quite a while - something must not be working – it must be me, why did I even think to try in the first place? This must not be right-“ or my favorite, “Silly me, I never had a chance of success in the first place…” It is this window of time – the plateau – I would argue, that is the most difficult challenge you will ever face. It’s not the last leg of the race that tricks you into stopping. It’s the time when literally the only piece of advice you need is “Keep going.” It’s this advice that’s the hardest to follow – especially when it comes to pursuits that are new – that require you go out on a limb and jump. If this is you, I am writing this to give you a much-needed push in the same direction. You must have a large gulp of Gatorade and listen to the sound of my voice – keep running. I know it’s not fun anymore, you don’t feel successful, but there was a very good reason you started this run – and now’s the time you’ve got to trust that and just keep running. Trust your own original instincts and power through. You’re on a plateau and the plateau ends – your path will eventually round a turn, and once it does, you will be able to see the finish line in the distance. Check out http://www.TeaspoonOfHappy.com for the blog post version of this podcast in the next few days and if you like this, please follow me on Soundcloud or review me on iTunes. Happy new year lovely friends!!! xox Sarah-May B.

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Episode 31: Self-Control: Why a lack of it isn’t your fault, plus a couple ways to improve it. Dec 21, 2014

Self-Control: Why a lack of it isn’t your fault, plus 6 tools to improve it. If you find you have a lack of willpower to do what you know is best for you when it matters the most, this is a podcast for you. I will go into the reasons why as well as a few tools to help you make progress. The episode is divided into three parts: 1. The science behind low-willpower and its effects on your life. 2. General Causes of Low-Willpower. 3. Tools to Improve Your Lack of it, starting today. Willpower is a particular kind of energy to exert control. With low-willpower comes a whole lot of badness. It compromises your ability to follow rules, reduces your emotional control, increases anger, anxiety, how well you do at school, the amount of traffic accidents you have, how popular you are, how successful you are. Most relevant: it’s a finite reservoir – so if you’re using it throughout the day, you tap it out. And unfortunately you can’t tell when your willpower is depleted but it’s worn down throughout the day. So universally, you have the most of it in the morning. The energy for willpower is linked to your body’s natural energy supply. That’s why dieting is a catch-22. You need energy to have willpower. Not to mention: The more you diet, the more your body learns to resist dieting. That’s why the amount of self-control you have has a large effect on work and school, but a small effect on dieting. So if you suffer most from a lack of willpower when it comes to food, fill yourself up with healthy food so your body has fuel to supply willpower. And most importantly: use the strength you have to accomplish one task at a time. When you split your energy to two different habit changes, you are likely to fail. For example, dieters are less able to quit smoking. Can’t do two things at once. It’s a finite increment of energy inside of you at all times so if you are dealing with managing a lot of pain – let’s say you are stressed or in pain, emotionally, you will likely have a huge problem stopping yourself from snacking in front of the tv at night. Picture yourself swatting away flies all day long. At the end of the day you’re going to be exhausted and likely slow down, even giving up and allowing lots of them to land. When you’re depleted, you also become more aggressive. When you have more of this energy / glucose you become less aggressive. Hence road rage! Most importantly, if you suffer from low-willpower, don’t be mad at yourself – help yourself and support your own ability to do what you know is best for yourself! Xox Sarah May B. For more of my writing and the blog version of this posting, visit http://www.TeaspoonOfHappy.com

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Episode 30: Mourning and Dealing with the Pain of Loss Dec 16, 2014

This is for anyone who is suffering the pain of loss. Loss of someone or something important in your life is one of the most difficult things you will ever have to deal with. And though it feels excruciating, it’s part of what makes your life rich – it is the other half of love. Right now you are likely struggling with what you want to believe is impossible. It feels so wrong – like such a violation of natural laws. Your brain and body also wants desperately to deny that this loss is true. That is the fear of the pain you will feel – you don’t want to look. Like you almost want to forget – to avoid confronting this truth. I must tell you that although the pain is almost unbearable, it will not kill you. You will move through it – just allow yourself to move through it a little bit at a time. Act as your own caregiver in the way you treat this managing of pain. I know it's a process that will feel like it's never ending but in reality it will be much shorter than you think, and every day it will get the tiniest bit easier. Just the tiniest bit. And one day you will once again be happy. Right now - all you can do is move through this time with grace: decide you are going to take it easy on yourself and soothe yourself in any and all ways you possibly can. The best tools I can give you are to manage the processing of the pain in small and manageable increments, so that you can remain as stable and healthy as possible. What I will (hopefully) give you: - A structure to abide for self-care. - A way to mourn so that you can continue to function and take care of yourself. This one's for Bo. I hope this helps you even a little bit! xox

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Mini-Mindfulness Meditation Dec 12, 2014

This is a very short guided meditation for supporting your overall level of calm and relaxation. I recco this or your own ritual if you have a high level of stress in your life or you can't seem to shut your brain off at night. Just do it first-thing in the morning or at lunch while you’re taking a walk. Anywhere really, as long as you can close your eyes and be uninterrupted for about ten minutes. If you want to learn more about why it’s important to get your mind to relax, check out the podcast on how to stop thinking so much. Hope you enjoy! xox Sarah May B. For more of my writing including the blog version of the over-thinking podcast, head over to: http://www.teaspoonofhappy.com

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Episode 29: How to Stop Thinking So Much - Tools for Chronic Overthinking Dec 10, 2014

Does your brain start chattering and seemingly never stop? Do you feel distracted and unable to focus? This is for anyone who is trapped in chronic thinking. Like your brain won’t seem to shut up and it’s getting a bit noisy up there. I will cover the what, the why, and most importantly, the solution. There are about 10 different super silly tools to get you started. And apologies in advance - I also drop the F-bomb. (Just once!) This is for Cindy – and it’s a great topic. Thanks for suggesting this girl! Check out TeaspoonOfHappy.com for the blog post with all my references and research -it will be live later this week. Smile peeps! xox Sarah-May B.

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When will my self-work start working? An emotional power-up when you’re discouraged and dwelling. Dec 03, 2014

If you’re in the process of retraining your brain out of negative thought patterns, sometimes you can get discouraged – thinking it’s never going to work. That’s when you can get stuck dwelling in the fact that you are stuck in a negative mindset. What a vicious cycle! This is an emotional power-up for if you’re getting discouraged with the change you are trying to make in your own bad habits. Maybe you’re trying to train yourself to focus on happiness, to stop worrying, or to be simply calm and still. Whatever it is – this is to soothe that fear and get you back on track – which is where you are already, whether you can see it or not! I hope you like and if you want to read more of my writing or read my book, head to http://www.teaspoonofhappy.com I send you my love and vibes of positivity! Smile peeps!! xox Sarah-May B.

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Episode 28: Regret: Relief from the Self-Inflicted Pain that Drives Us Mad Dec 03, 2014

This is a podcast for relief from the self-inflicted pain called Regret. If you suffer from a chronic problem of regret – or you have a major life-defining regret, this is a podcast for you. The most important part is it’s not about what it’s about. It’s a ruse! I am going to try to logically dismantle if for you, because I do not have regret – ever. It’s not because I don’t mess up, it’s because there’s no such thing as an undo button and regret is a worse sin than the original mess up. It’s like burning something valuable and throwing opportunity in the trash. Quite simply? It’s really a bad habit – and it’s not about what it’s about. You are punishing yourself for having to learn a lesson the hard way. Why? You want to feel bad because you feel like it’s warranted: Like penance. It's a trained-in compulsion, your mind naturally assigns it. It has nothing to do with the thing you regret, itself. As your life exists only in the present. You are deciding (unconsciously of course) to relive the thing you dislike, that happened in the past. That is illogical: and most importantly - it is worsening something negative by wasting valuable energy and focus on it. Continuing to create waste! That is the real problem. It’s like building a bonfire in the center of your living room because you accidentally burned a hole in the couch. Often, source of your regret is totally unrelated. They are old residual feelings of low self worth. It's a go-to label for all resonant feelings of pain. You get that sinking feeling of pain that creeps over you, and you think, “what is this about? Oh yeah – I am sad because I ruined my interview..” when in reality, it’s from when you were in school and you got in trouble all the time. The feeling is really tied to, “I’m a bad kid.” Regardless of the source – it’s an automated reaction that must be deliberately undone. Starting now! Please join me!! Xox Sarah may B. This is for Angelica. Thank you for this awesome topic! I know it’s a big one. :)

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Episode 27: Nine Tools to Build Successful Friendships Dec 01, 2014

OR Building friendships worth growing for a lifetime. In this podcast I go over the three essential ingredients to good friendship so that you can train yourself to choose great ones. I also cover nine general rules for being a great friend to yourself and others – as well as ways to find friends that are perfect for you. So if you are looking to make new and better friendships that you can invest in for a lifetime, this is a podcast for you. This is for Catherine – (thanks girl!) She wrote, “Can you talk about what it means to be a good friend – and ways to practice that.” Catherine - I know your question was more general than the topic above. I chose to take this angle because I think it’s a good way to force yourself to choose better relationships, despite your conditioned-in blinders. Just like with anything else – a job, a marriage, or anything really, we bring our old rusty eyeballs into a relationship – and often we can’t tell how we are being blinded by those issues and experiences. Sometimes they can compromise our ability to choose the right people for the right reasons, or give and to receive the fruits of friendship. In other words, they get in the way of smart and self-loving decision-making. So I am going to present this to you in a way that hopefully will allow you to approach friendship from an intentional perspective so that you can build mutually beneficial and powerful friendships that bring value to your life and the others who are out there right now, in need of a friend like you. If you likee, check out the Teaspoon for more of my writing- as well as my books. And if you prefer to read, this will be posted as a blog later on this week. Smile peeps! xox Sarah May b. http://www.teaspoonofhappy.com

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Episode 26: Going Back Home for the Holiday - Tools for Managing Hurtful Family Dynamics Nov 24, 2014

If you’re scared to go home this holiday because you’re worried that you’re going to have painful, triggering-situations with your family, this is a collection of tools for moving through the holiday with balance and grace. So whether or not you decide to skip it this year or move through the experience for the good of the future-you, it always helps to prepare yourself beforehand and have a couple tools ready in your emotional belt. I will cover a few general categories of painful family dynamics – so depending on your level of pain, choose the one that helps give you the healthiest amount of mental distance and support. If you want to read more, keep your eyes peeled for the blog version of this podcast on TeaspoonOfHappy.com or Hello Giggles. Also, I will be adding a supportive happiness challenge to my newsletter for the holiday season so if you are in need of some extra positivity support, head to TeaspoonOfHappy.com and subscribe! I send you my love peeps - xox Sarah May B.

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Extra-Strength Lightening Bolt: For Prolonged Bad Moods and a Jolt Out of Negativity Nov 21, 2014

Sometimes breaking through the pain of negativity takes an extra “jolt.” If you are on a path to becoming your best self, you might encounter – at random – moments in your life, or days or weeks even, that you lose touch with the brightness and joy that lives inside you. For whatever reason, you might become trapped in a mood or be overcome once again by your conditions. And often this dark cloud will feed itself – it will become more “true,” more weighty and real, and with your inability to find the salve, the more blind to the falsity of this mood, you become. This is when, once again, we are secretly removed of our power – by fear. Fear that “we will always be this way” and “how did I believe I could let this part of who I am go” and “the hope I felt was false after all.” It is during these moments that “extra-strength” meds come in handy. And by meds, I mean a profound “jolt” from outside of us: the affects of someone with a lightning bolt of truth that can reach you through that cloud – that lie that is your chemical fear – and “jolt” you out of that physical mood/moment and back into your awareness of joy. It’s like a hard-restart when the programs won’t stop running. If you have been stuck in a chronic dark-cloud of energy, this is a podcast power-up for you. For more of my writing and my toolkit book, check out Teaspoon of Happy! http://bit.ly/1vyjzl0 And if you like, please post a Testimonial on Teaspoon or review me on iTunes! Xox Sarah May B.

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Episode 25: Vengeance of the Heart - When you've been burned and you're all-consumed Nov 17, 2014

This is for anyone who has been burned and now they are struggling with the idea of revenge. Maybe you were in a relationship with someone and discovered were betraying you. Maybe you confronted the person and they acted aloof and then immediately moved on. This is so you can accept the truth of your situation. so that this never happens to you again. If you are reeling from a very recent realization – I know this is all a lot to take in so go easy on yourself and don’t do it all at once. The loss of someone you loved itself is painful. On top of that you are confused by the fact that they seem to care nothing about you or your feelings. That’s painful. It’s extremely confusing because you have feelings in all directions: they all don’t make sense. Because this is not how a person who loved you is meant to act. That is a key piece of information. THAT IS NOT HOW SOMEONE IS MEANT TO ACT. It’s not normal or average – this is not what your life and future are meant to be. If this is your situation, I send you my love and know that this time will pass! I will post a blog version of this episode along with some reading material so that you can further investigate your particular situation. Know that you will get through this. I send you my love and vibes of positivity, xoxox Sarah May B. This one is for Diane! Hope this helps and thank you for writing me!! Xo Links to the blog etc: http://www.teaspoonofhappy.com

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When You're Hating On Yourself and Feel Like a Loser *Contains Sparse Profanity Nov 12, 2014

Warning - I say a couple bad words in this one! And it's cause the topic demands it. This is a little "confrontational" power-up for anyone who's hating on themselves and feeling like a loser. It's to help you stop the negative thoughts and focus on more positive and relevant thoughts - like what you want to do that makes you happy! I hope you likee and if you want more there's a bunch of tools on the links below: xox Sarah May b http://www.teaspoonofhappy.com teaspoonofhappy.squarespace.com/bookstore/

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Anger-Soothing Meditation: For When You're Stuck in Actively Painful Situations Nov 12, 2014

Power Up: Soothing from Anger This is for anyone who is stuck in a moment of feeling pain and rage. Maybe you’re in the moment – someone has stung you, or you are feeling completely overwhelmed by the injustice or idiocy of the situation around you. I will tailor it to those who cannot leave that situation but if you can, take a walk while you listen. Even if it’s just going into the bathroom and sitting in the stall. I will include one breathing tool and one visualization exercise. For the blog version, check out Teaspoon of Happy in the next few days! Xox Sarah-May B. Links to other help: https://teaspoonofhappy.squarespace.com/bookstore/ https://teaspoonofhappy.squarespace.com/mail-happy

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A Visualization Exercise for Putting Painful Feelings Away Nov 12, 2014

This is a guided visualization exercise for anyone who's suffering from a recent trauma or in mourning - or maybe you're just going through some tough stuff with your therapist. It's a guided visualization to help you put the painful feelings away when you need to go on with your day and function. Trust me - it works! I hope you likee and if you want more there's a bunch of tools on the links below: xox Sarah May b https://teaspoonofhappy.com https://teaspoonofhappy.squarespace.com/bookstore/

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Episode 24: The Smart Way to Quit with Entrepreneur and Fashionista, Jennifer Puno Nov 08, 2014

An interview with Fashion-Forward Funny Chick/Starter-Upper/App-Developer/ Entrepreneur/Photographer/Pop-culture Icon/Friend to Girls/ One of the best-dressed gals I know, Jennifer Puno. We will be breaking down the process of quitting a job you don’t like in favor of pursuing your dreams. In this episode I get to interview one of my besties, Jennifer Puno, or as she’s known to most, “Puno.” She, along with her husband Daniel, has created the curated photographic map of cool and beautiful places across the globe, “Made with Map,” on Instagram. Aside from MAP, Puno has a million other awesome projects – “just cuz,” including a Startrek homage – with photos and gifs, shot on location in Iceland, with photographer friend, Ken Lin. The topic of today’s podcast is Path-Forging: basically, authoring your own life – fearlessly, but intelligently – including pragmatic steps to take if you’re in need of a total career-change. In my opinion, Puno took on this process in the best way possible: with data and spreadsheets to ensure she had the right back-up plan and savings mapped out while she figured out her next step. For those of us who find all numbers to be super hard, those spreadsheets, as well as an awesome dance party video will be available for free in the blog version of this interview on Teaspoon Of Happy. (Keep your eyes peeled in the next couple days.) I hope you enjoy! And smile peeps! Xox To download the future-planning spreadsheets, you can also visit the podcast page on Teaspoonofhappy.com Puno’s links: https://www.madewithmap.com http://punodostres.com

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Episode 23: Where to start the process of personal growth Nov 03, 2014

It’s pretty easy to “never deal” with anything heavy, or anything that makes you feel vulnerable in life. You can always find a way to distract yourself, or hide from the tough stuff. Maybe you’ve been coasting through your emotional adult life and perhaps medicating any and all issues and scary feelings that might come up – or numbing them with drinks, tv, or constant distractions. Maybe you’ve never allowed yourself to become vulnerable to another person – you’ve kept it very superficial, and you just kind of “pass the time” in your life – but never venture past the top layer. It all feels fine until one day you suddenly “wake-up” and realize you don’t know who you are, what you want, or even whether or not you like yourself. Maybe something in your life comes to a head, like you finally meet someone you want to be in love with and that makes you totally clingy because you feel so reliant on their liking you, or maybe you’ve been through a break-up and you suddenly realize you feel shattered – like you have nothing, to you, solo. This window of clarity might force you to realize you’ve got some work to do on yourself so that you can actually figure out who you are and what you want. And with that work, grow to like that person, and be happy with who that is. If you’re staring at the vast ravine of what you don’t know quite yet – and realizing you’ve been asleep at the wheel of your life for years, I know looking at the amount of work you have to do can feel totally overwhelming. So if this sounds like where you are right now– this is a podcast for you. Firstly, know that you have been gifted with an amazing opportunity. Right now you get to choose who you want to be. Which is really awesome and shows that you have what it takes – already – to become who you want to become. That you even have this awareness about yourself is the key to the change itself. So what I am going to give you are some steps/tools to help you move through this time efficiently. There are 10 of them and if you want to read them, I will also post the blog version on TeaspoonOfHappy.com so keep an eye out in the next couple days. Ready? Here we go! This is a blessing in disguise and you're about to enter the best time of your life!!! This is for you, Justin. Thanks dude for suggesting this to help others!! I hope this helps you, as well. xo! Sarah May B.

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Episode 22: Create Awesomely - Movie-Monster-Maker Mark Shostrom on Letting Your Creative Soul Shine Oct 28, 2014

This is a special Halloween podcast episode - an interview with one of my heroes, special effects and creature effects artist/ innovator, Mark Shostrom. He’s influenced so much of what you see today in all kinds of make-up and special effects in TV and film, with an incredible legacy of work. His resume includes 30 years of scary movies, everything from “Nightmare on Elm Street 2” to “Videodrome.” We talk about inspiration, creativity, and going for your dreams and not your obligations— not to mention, the best way to make an open flesh-wound for your Halloween costume this year. There are also a few super creepy Hollywood ghost stories about the Hart Building at Paramount studios. This is for all creators, makers and passionate thinkers out there. It’s a challenge to commit to your own bar of excellence and go for it. Decide to do whatever you do awesomely, and foster your voice as a creative thinker, because life is too short to do something you hate, or can simply tolerate. Plus, when you decide to follow your passions, what you leave in your wake is a legacy: something you are proud of that others will learn from for generations to come. *Warning: Includes some explicit language, gore and scary stories!

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Episode 21: Undoing Negative Muscle Memory or When Your Body has a Mind of Its Own Oct 26, 2014

When you suffer from habitual thinking that you don’t like – and you have a hard time undoing it, it’s because you’re trapped in a physically engrained system of thinking. What happens overtime is your brain gets trained into feeling certain emotions and you grow used to it. It becomes unconscious, just like when you have peeled an apple so many times, you don’t even think about it anymore. Or when you drive to work – you do it without having to think. The same happens with feeling certain emotions, even if they are unpleasant – they become unconscious and that is where you feel the most inclined to be. It grows to be your “normal” and therefore, it’s where you are comfortable. Despite when it’s an emotion that doesn’t feel good. I often talk about mental muscle-memory: you have habits of feeling certain things when you are in the corresponding environments and they repeat. Eventually, it’s just reality and “the issues you face in life.” So when you’re working on creating positive change it will feel uncomfortable, tedious or even scary because of this muscle memory. It feels insurmountable but it's not, in reality - it's just because you’re used to feeling bad and it’s now associated with “comfort” and safety. I will give you tools to overcome this habit so that you can "wake up" and decide who you want to be and what you want to do with your life. It's a revolution against old habits you don't want in your life! Join the resistance!!!!! And if you likee, please review me on iTunes!! Would make me very happy! For the blog version of this, check out TeaspoonOfHappy.com - will be up in the next couple days.

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Balance Meditation and Personal Awesomeness Visualization (Sans Music) Oct 21, 2014

Hi friends, This is a quieter version of the "Emotional Soothing & Balancing Reflection Exercise" and it has no music beds, in case you get distracted by that kinda thing. It's for you to play while taking a walk around the block or sitting in a quiet place - to help you check-in with you and visualize just how awesome you are. For more on this topic, check out my blog and my book on TeaspoonOfHappy.com If you want to listen to the music tracks separately, here are two links to my recommended playlist. :) miss piaf: http://goo.gl/UyOdTW mr. orbison: http://goo.gl/bXYjGX

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Emotional Balancing & Soothing Reflection Exercise Oct 21, 2014

This is a little power-up episode for balancing and soothing your emotional self and visualizing the present and the future for what it is: awesome. Your work on yourself is not for nothing. This is a podcast to acknowledge that. A lot of change and even a lack of change can feel scary and unsettling, but in reality, it's all good. So today I would like to offer you a simple reflection exercise so that you might gaze around your life, see beauty, feel gratitude, and embrace the wonderful change you are making around you. Also, this episode is scored with a couple "empowering tracks" compliments of my faves list on Youtube - links to both tracks are listed below! For more of my writing check out the latest on TeaspoonOfHappy.com xox Smile lovely friends!! miss piaf: http://goo.gl/UyOdTW mr. orbison: http://goo.gl/bXYjGX

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Episode 20: I Thought I Had it All Figured Out Oct 15, 2014

It’s a pretty universal experience: you plan out your whole life, everything’s on track to be what you’d imagined it’d be, and then seemingly out of nowhere your whole life begins to unravel and your “perfect picture” falls apart. One moment you’re winning at the game of life: the career, the relationship, the paycheck, the “perfect future”… the next, you get fired, your partner dumps you, your bank account gets leveled – suddenly the path you saw before you evaporates and you feel like you have nothing at all. Losing your “staples” in life – those things that defined the way you spent your time – forces you to look at EVERYTHING differently. The people you hang out with, the restaurants you go to, your living situation as a whole down to the way you spend a Saturday night. Not to mention – the holidays are on their way and the thought of all of it, now solo, can make it feel overwhelming to say the least. If you’re suffering from shattered-future shellshock and are not sure what to do, and you’re in pain, this is for you. If you're in need of some weekly positivity, check out teaspoonofhappy.com and subscribe to the Sunday newsletter. I'll also post a blog version of this on Teaspoon and Hello Giggles so if you prefer to read, keep your eyes peeled. Sending you my love and vibes of positivity, xox Sarah May B.

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You are Spectacular Oct 12, 2014

This is a power up episode for if you are stuck in your head and can't seem to shake a state of self-nego-talk and worry. If you're stuck on what is "supposed to be" and can't seem to focus on the truth - that you are a rare and one-of-a-kind miracle. This is a message for you so that you can remember you are singular. Meaning, you are spectacular and wonderful - just as you are and there will never be anyone with gifts and a voice just like yours. You are innately beautiful and brilliant if you allow yourself to just - be. Not to hurt and not to suffer- but to thrive, in happiness. If you want to read more, I will post this as a blog on my website as well. (Teaspoonofhappy.com) Hope you like and I send you my love! xox Sarah May B.

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Episode 19: The Mind Body Connection Oct 05, 2014

If you have been feeling anxious or depressed lately, unmotivated to do much, or maybe you’re just over-all bummed, there’s a good chance it’s not tied to anything negative about your life at all. What I mean is, often feeling bummed is simply a symptom of a blip in your happiness-chemicals. If you’ve been hunting through various factors in your life – searching for what could be a cause of your unhappiness, before you hunt any further, stop to give yourself an emotional tune-up. When the source of your problems is not apparent, it’s the first and most obvious place to look! Might be time to balance your chemical levels! I will help you take your emotions to the fastest, easiest mechanic – okay, enough of the puns… It’s important to medicate the physical body and not take every emotion at face value - so if you’ve been feeling a bit crummy lately and you’re not sure why, this is a podcast for you. Firstly – I’m gonna describe what you might be experiencing right now. Second – I’m gonna describe what might be hurting you: aka some typical causes. Third – I’m gonna give you some super simple tools to Turn That Ship Around. That’s my main mantra for getting myself out of a bad mood – I use it all the time and it works like a charm! I picture a little happy tugboat that sees a giant storm overhead and is like, “Whoo hoo! Let’s bust a U!” If you prefer to read, I will also post this in blog form on my site, TeaspoonOfHappy.com I’m also going add an emotional tune up in this Sunday’s Teaspoon Newsletter, so subscribe if you want to get that, too. Don’t forget to smile peeps! And if you likee, please review me on iTunes! xo p.s. This episode was written for Moon - I hope it helps and thanks for the suggestion girl! xo!

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I should be doing better Sep 29, 2014

This is a power-up episode for anyone who’s suffering from the FOMO’s or what I like to call comparison self-hating. If you’re getting down on yourself about anything, take a listen for a quick jumpstart! Hope this helps! This is especially for you, Moon! Hope it helps xox Sarah-May B.

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Episode 18: Learning How To Trust Again - Getting Over Bad Experiences Sep 27, 2014

Often when you grow up with caregivers or relationships with people who are inconsistent, unstable, deceptive and unreliable, as a natural result you end up completing the other half of the Yin-Yang and it becomes inherent to your make-up as a person. You grow opposite and complimentary strengths – and those strengths actually reward you in lots of ways, not to mention, it feels good to be able to take care of others and make it happen. However – here’s the kicker – as a result, in the rest of your life, you unconsciously seek out others you can compliment in the exact same way, which means you often end up with partners and friends who are just as incapable or flawed. It’s not your fault, it’s just the dynamic you’re comfortable with. It’s also because that’s who is drawn to you: they crave what you can give and once they see you giving it, they cling to you. You also have a very specific form of trauma in that you expect and anticipate disappointing behavior from everyone in your life. Why wouldn't you? Based on your life experience, to trust is to place yourself in harm's way. Not to fear! This is not a damning situation in the least. You have the building blocks for something much greater than if you hadn’t had this upbringing at all. You can build the muscle to trust others and you can also build the muscle that will allow you to find trustworthy people. Your solution will take conscious and consistent work, but it’ll be simple and somewhat automatic, so don’t stress. It will unfold on its own, and it can start right now with 3 very conscious, deliberate steps. I’m going to introduce you to those steps right now. For more about me and to read more of my writing, check out TeaspoonOfHappy.com If you likee please review me on iTunes! 'Twould help me a lot. xo Sarah May B.

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Episode 17: Diet Fear - When Your Body Feels Like an Alien Sep 25, 2014

This is for anyone who’s in a place in their life where you feel like your body is an unpredictable enemy, or maybe you're terrified of it or you're stuck in a vicious loop of dieting. Maybe your body is acting weird and you cannot tell what’s going on with it at all. My friend Leila is a guest host today because she and I both went to the same amazing MD/nutritionist and the basic education we got was so blow-my-mind amazing, we had to share it with you. It’s amazing how many misconceptions we had about food and the way your body relates to it. In short – this episode is about Nutrition and Metabolism 101 – cause of a lot of us don’t know about that stuff! I didn’t. The goal of the episode is to help you build holistic health. It’s about why it’s most important to come from health if you want to look great and you want your body to look great. If you want that – build it right. Otherwise you’re screwing the future-you out of a whole lot of happiness and also likely putting a whole lot of stress on your metabolism. Check out TeaspoonOfHappy.com for the show notes with added info links! Link to the blog post is now here: Diet Fear http://www.teaspoonofhappy.com/blog/2014/9/28/diet-fear

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Episode 16: Why Don't They Like Me Sep 20, 2014

If you’ve recently gotten dumped or you can’t fit in with the crowd you want to hang out with, this is a blog for you. Firstly, I am sorry you are here because it’s definitely painful and lonely – but know that this is not forever, it’s not because of anything being wrong with you, and it’s actually a gift in disguise.

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Episode 15: Great Expectations - When People You Love Disappoint You Sep 11, 2014

This is about when people you love disappoint you. If you're stuck in a loop of bad behavior and find yourself set up again and again, maybe even to the point that a confrontation has come about, this is a podcast for you. Whether it's a friend, family member, or significant other, the solution lies in setting your expectations to zero. Not in a bad way - in a realistic and self-loving, healthy way. When someone you love constantly disappoints you, what is really hurting you is your expectation not being met. If you want to keep this relationship, you’ve got to be able to accept both outcomes, and be okay with that. I know that’s easier said than done so I will cover the what, why and how in these types of relationships in hopes that you will better find a solution if you happen to be in a relationship like this.

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Episode 14: Holistic Beauty - An Interview With Celeb Choreographer Sophie Olson Sep 08, 2014

This is an episode for anyone looking to foster their inner beauty: that glow of light that only comes from the inside out, an interview with choreographer (and one of my fave girls) Sophie Olson. It’s a bit of inspiration juice for anyone working on building their self-love or working on body image issues, from a girl who’s contagiously passionate and extremely sweet. Sophie Olson has choreographed music videos for Zooey Deschanel and is the creator of the S.O.D.E. Mobile Dance program. Visit her at SophieOlsonDanceExplosion.com Topics include creative inspiration, body-image and motivation. I hope you enjoy!

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Episode 13: Detaching with Love Sep 04, 2014

This is for anyone stuck in a relationship that hurts them. There’s also a blog version on Hello Giggles and Teaspoon of Happy. Often people find themselves stuck in unhealthy relationships, anticipating negative behavior and growing sick inside with worry. Because so many of the unhealthy relationships are with people you would consider family, it’s extremely painful and confusing to get out of one. You will find yourself tortured with guilt, questioning and doubting your own motives. You might find yourself saying things like “But I have to!” rationalizing why it's easier to stay in it than try to leave. This is a relationship is felt much like a hostage situation would be: you have a proverbial gun held to your head by the implied impact of your actions. In other words: you’re damned if you do and damned if you don't, so for now you're trapped and can’t get out. If this sounds familiar, this episode is a toolkit for you.

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Episode 12: The Good Fight: Tools for constructive fighting Aug 28, 2014

The Good Fight is an episode for anyone suffering and stuck in fights they don't want to be in, whether it's with a friend, spouse or coworker. I know it can be rough on the soul, but fights give you the potential to grow closer to others. If you’re fighting, it means you’re both invested in the relationship. Even if things seem dire, don’t lose hope— sometimes all you need are the right tools to help you get there. x Sarah May B.

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Episode 11: Looking For Love in All The Wrong Places Aug 22, 2014

What is your "Achilles" type? Know that the bad choices you make are not your fault — it’s likely that you cannot see the patterns in your choices because it's encoded into your chemistry, based on your upbringing. It’s all part of your “love map” – basically the foundation for what you believe around love, commitment and relationships. This is an episode for anyone who has a track record of choosing bad relationships, whether it’s friends or love interests. I will go through the basics of bad relationship matches: how to spot them and why they are the way they are. I'll also offer you insight into what could be drawing you toward these types in the first place so that you can choose be intentional about looking for different types moving forward. Also, I have a special guest with me— the love of my life and my future hubby, Adam. Yay.

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Episode 10: Commit to Happiness Aug 18, 2014

This is to help you cure yourself of self-inflicted pain, the kind caused by a focus on what you believe is lacking in your life. Whether that suffering comes from worry, an obsession with weight, or a feeling that you need someone else in order to be happy, happiness comes from aligning your goals with your highest values. True happiness results from what is in your best interests, wholistically. Once you set the right goals, the recurring negative results fall away: things like self-bullying, worry and negativity. I invite you to take a listen and decide on a better set of goals - including a commitment to your happiness.

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Episode 9: Shame Shame Shame Aug 13, 2014

This episode is about things that cause us to feel ashamed and what those things have in common. It's about examining the roots of these acts so that you can let them go, move on with your life and live more happily. If there's anything that you don't want in your life, you can decide to change it today.

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Everything's Alright Alright Aug 12, 2014

This is a little emotional power-up for when you get stuck in all the "stuff" and clouded by thoughts. It's to help you refocus on what is great about today and how amazing it is to be alive. Don't forget to enjoy your life while you living it and look around once in a while!

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It's Never Too Late Aug 02, 2014

This is an emotional power-up for a dose of perspective and inspiration. It's for anyone who's afraid to make a big life change because they think it's too late or too hard at this point. There's no such thing as too late, because no one has lived your life but you.

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Episode 6: The Dating Game Jul 29, 2014

This is a dating toolkit for staying committed to what you want for yourself in a relationship. There are tools for overcoming extreme want, avoiding bad relationships, and building a path to meet "the one." Tools include several chapters from the "Help Me Be Me" book, including "The Love List" and "The Big Red Hat."

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Episode 7: Self-Love from Scratch Jul 29, 2014

The relationship you have with yourself is the most important relationship you have in the world. This episode features a recipe for creating more self-love and confidence so that you can live a happier and more fulfilling life. There are ten different tools, a few of which are from the "Help Me Be Me" book. Invest in your relationship with yourself and you will better the lives of everyone you touch.

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Episode 5: Letting Go Jul 25, 2014

Letting go of someone or something you love can be a terrifying proposition. This episode offers a small beacon of hope if you are confronting a painful loss.

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Episode 4: Stuckness Jul 24, 2014

A dose of perspective to help with a case of stuckness: those times in life when you can't seem to get any traction and it seems like the universe isn't listening. This episode also includes tools to help you direct your energy and focus.

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Episode 3: Frenemies Jul 18, 2014

Friendships should always bring out the best in both parties. If you find yourself feeling stung by a friend, you might want to take a listen. This is about "the why" behind frenemies, with tools to help you take steps a positive direction.

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Help Me Be Me: A Case of Malaise Jul 07, 2014

A power-up for when you get stuck with malaise and need help to jumpstart your positivity. All it takes is a shift in perspective and you can change your mood, right now.

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Stop Self-Doubt Jul 07, 2014

Smile and knock that bad mood out of your way! Sometimes all it takes is a little shift in perspective and your whole day can do a complete 180.

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Don't Be Discouraged! Jul 07, 2014

An emotional power-up for when you are feeling down about unmet goals and need help getting un-stuck.

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HelpMeBeMe: All worry is wasted Jun 21, 2014

This is a little power-up to help you if you are stuck in worry. xox

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Episode 8: Walking the Inspired Path Jun 05, 2014

This is a toolkit for staying inspired on a path that is forged by you alone. Whether you're working on a creative project that tests your confidence or you're trying to make a passion project a success, these are 11 tips for staying committed to goals when the going gets tough.

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Episode 2: Fat Thoughts May 19, 2014

Dispelling the causes of food issues so that they can be effectively uprooted. If you suffer from issues with dieting, your problem is likely not in the place you're looking.

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Episode 1: "The Why" Apr 19, 2014

This is a self-help podcast for people who don't like self-help. It's about unlocking the problems that plague you so that you may be free. All of the things you believe to be insurmountable are false. It's a story your brain tells you based on your life experiences. Anything you think you can't overcome, I believe 100% without a doubt that you can. You just need the right tools to help you. Smile. You are already on your way. Music intro/outro by the fantastic Jeremy C. Simon!

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