Hello Dysfunction

Latest Episodes:

S1 Ep15: Stay Outta The Creek Jan 09, 2019

Show notes

Dog rescues, R. Kelly's bullshit, disturbing childhood stories, bullying, some parenting tips, and dirty creek rendezvous.

Trigger warning- sexual assault, grooming and other sensitive issues are discussed.

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S1 Ep14: God's Well Jan 01, 2019

Show notes

It's New Year's Eve and in this final episode of 2018, Pata Fria and Crystal discuss the new year, white parents w mixed children, repairing your credit, being a submissive Christian wife, how Pata Fria got scammed on craigslist and having foul-mouthed children.

Have a safe and happy new year. Don't drive drunk.

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S1 Ep13: "Cheese Sandwiches" Dec 25, 2018

Show notes

This week the chaos of Christmas, vintage tips on how to snag a husband, Karma and a false birth control method are all discussed. Crystal shares some family dysfunction and we find out why you shouldn't tell Pata Fria you own a restaurant. Happy Holidays xo

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S1 Ep12: The Playboy Club Dec 18, 2018

Show notes

Mental health, toxic relationship behavior, and why Crystal should never enter a church kick off this week's episode. The girls also talk about period sex, shitty celebrities, pervy friends, and Pata Fria's love of shock sites. The holidays, childhood snitching, and good ol' Florida also make an appearance this episode.

As always, enjoy.

PS- Pata Fria is still NOT a doctor.

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S1 Ep11: Gramma's Heart Attack Dec 11, 2018

Show notes

This week the dysfunction gets a bit serious. The girls are discussing kaiser's strike, losing virginity, relationship advice, holding grudges, a few very personal stories, and more crying (what's new). Of course the mood is lightened with some of Pata Fria's childhood antics, nail shop preferences, and gramma's "heart attack."

This episode does require a trigger warning, as sexual assault is discussed.

As always, enjoy.

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S1 Ep10: Parental Advisory Dec 04, 2018

Show notes

This week the dysfunctional duo are offering up parental advice of all sorts. From the Hawaiian Pine-sol event, apologizing to your children, walking the parent/friend line, and teaching your children gratitude. The girls also touch on dick pics, "porn vs. dom" reality, and as always, listener questions. Enjoy. 💦

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S1 Ep9: Weird Sex Nov 28, 2018

Show notes

The holidays are here, and so is the dysfunction. This week the duo are talking about weird news, the online attack on sex-workers, favorite porn, a mirror ghost, and penis size. The girls close out with some listener questions, crazy sex, and a few funny stories. As always, enjoy.

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S1 Ep8: Curing Rickets Nov 20, 2018

Show notes

Crystal’s father Big Billy is here and the dysfunction is outta control. "I didn't do drugs before I was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia, I just smoked pot, did acid and rode my motorcycle." Buckle up motherf$^#*s….

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S1 Ep7: I'm A Doctor Nov 12, 2018

Show notes

From chemtrails, to California fires, to Pata Fria's burn unit vagina story, this week the girls are on fire, literally. The duo also goes over premature ejaculation, tampons vs. diva cups, racism, and a ghost story. This episode is packed with self-love, and of course some more crying, lol. As always, enjoy..

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S1 Ep6: Gas Station Salad & Dirty Sanchez Nov 06, 2018

Show notes

The dysfunctional duo is back, and unapologetically unfiltered while discussing sx dolls, g-spot location, open marriages, liars, and prison relationships. They are breaking it down and dissecting so listen up.

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