Hello Dysfunction

Latest Episodes:

S1 Ep193: Business In The Bathrobe Nov 12, 2022

Show notes

We’re back and better than ever!
We love men who cry, break ups are embarrassing, we love meeting listeners and don’t lie about sleeping with people.
Check out this week’s sponsors!

BetterHelp

Professional therapy from the comfort of your own home.
Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO

Gladskin

Gladskin is a product that works with your skin’s natural bacteria to soothe and resolve eczema, rosacea, acne and other skin irritations. Steroid-free and non-toxic, safe enough to also use on baby.
Right now our listeners get 15% off plus free shipping (we love that) at gladskin.com with discount code HELLODYSFUNCTION. That’s Gladskin.com/hellodysfunction
Join our Patreon!! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction
Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction
Instagram.com/lurkpatafria2
Instagram.com/crystaldamato21
Email us your questions/stories at: hellodysfunction@gmail.com

S1 Ep192: Little Mama Nov 05, 2022

Show notes

Starting out with a little ASMR. They aren’t called “windmeals”. You gotta be a little well off to really enjoy Disney. Childhood makes you the person you’ll be. Nightmares have been really rude lately and unnecessary details are Crystal’s favorite.
Check out this week’s sponsor!
• Gladskin
Gladskin is a product that works with your skin’s natural bacteria to soothe and resolve eczema, rosacea, acne and other skin irritations. Steroid-free and non-toxic, safe enough to also use on baby.
Right now our listeners get 15% off plus free shipping (we love that) at gladskin.com with discount code HELLODYSFUNCTION. That’s Gladskin.com/hellodysfunction
Join our Patreon!! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction
Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction
Instagram.com/lurkpatafria2
Instagram.com/crystaldamato21
Email us your questions/stories at: hellodysfunction@gmail.com

S1 Ep191: Bang Bang Niner Gang Oct 28, 2022

Show notes

Welcome to episode 191
Peez swings on everyone, genetics are crazy and we’re slowly becoming our moms. Don’t send illegal things thru the mail, Crystal has very sexual recipes and it’s so cute when you let kids dress themselves.
Check out this week’s sponsor!
• DIPSEA
Dipsea is an audio app full of short, sexy stories designed to turn you on!
The characters feel like real people with real life scenarios and new content is added weekly.
If you need to wind down there are also wellness sessions, sensual bedtime stories and soundscapes to help you relax before you drift off.
Right now Dipsea is offering an extended 30 day trial of full access for our listeners!
Start now at dipseastories.com/dysfunction
That’s D I P S E A stories .com/dysfunction
Join our Patreon!! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction
Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction
Instagram.com/lurkpatafria2
Instagram.com/crystaldamato21
Email us your questions/stories at: hellodysfunction@gmail.com

S1 Ep190: Pata Freak Oct 22, 2022

Show notes

Peez introduced this episode, Crystal serenaded our intro, Toto is timeless and Pata Fria might be drunk.
There’s a new Damato in the gang, 80’s Cabbage Patch Kids are the current obsession and we got some things to celebrate!!!!
War times are getting intense, don’t make a joke of adrenochrome, iron lungs are crazy and Grandmacore is not what it sounds like.
Check out this week’s sponsors!
• Gladskin
Gladskin is a product that works with your skin’s natural bacteria to soothe and resolve eczema, rosacea, acne and other skin irritations. Steroid-free and non-toxic, safe enough to also use on baby.
Right now our listeners get 15% off plus free shipping (we love that) at gladskin.com with discount code HELLODYSFUNCTION. That’s Gladskin.com/hellodysfunction
• THE Commercial Break!
Two long time best friends Bryan and Krissy get together each Monday Wednesday and Friday to discuss life, love and the pursuit of absurdity.
Sinister ministers, ridiculous MLM companies, alien light language, TV dating shows, monster hunters, terrible psychic readings and more!
The Commercial Break hosts use their unlikely friendship and personal life stories as a backdrop to discuss some the insane topics and trends from around the globe.
THE Commercial Break is available wherever you find your favorite podcasts or you can visit TCBpodcast.com .Thats TCBpodcast.com or go to YouTube.com / THEcommercialbreak
Join our Patreon!! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction
Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction
Instagram.com/lurkpatafria2
Instagram.com/crystaldamato21
Email us your questions/stories at: hellodysfunction@gmail.com

S1 Ep189: Ruby Edgewood Oct 14, 2022

Show notes

Welcome. This is not a scam.
Knees are getting injured left and right, Peez had a meltdown in front of the paramedics and Mexican pizzas have been subpar.
Check out this week’s sponsors!

BetterHelp

BEST FRIEND ENERGY

Looking for your next podcast obsession? You'll be sure to find it on the new weekly chat series: BEST FRIEND ENERGY with hosts Clea Shearer and Joanna Teplin of The Home Edit. On BEST FRIEND ENERGY you get to know Clea and Joanna even better than before--you become a part of their inner circle!
Their friendship and business began with a single text and now has them organizing celebrity homes, traveling the world and laughing every step of the way.
From Sony Music Entertainment, Hello Sunshine, The Home Edit and Somethin' Else, listen and follow Best Friend Energy wherever you get your podcasts.
Join our Patreon!! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction
Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction
Instagram.com/lurkpatafria2
Instagram.com/crystaldamato21
Send us your questions/stories at: hellodysfunction.com or submit to hellodysfunction@gmail.com

S1 Ep188: Your Sleeping Bag Stinks Oct 08, 2022

Show notes

It’s our anniversary.
Familial masturbation is awkward.
Pata Fria’s ghost is jealous again.
The wedding was beautiful and Crystal beat a ticket!
Be grateful for everything, even the hard lessons. Carolyn needs a phony inspection. Dreams are getting crazy and we have serial killers.
Check out this week’s sponsor!
• DIPSEA
Dipsea is an audio app full of short, sexy stories designed to turn you on!
The characters feel like real people with real life scenarios and new content is added weekly.
If you need to wind down there are also wellness sessions, sensual bedtime stories and soundscapes to help you relax before you drift off.
Right now Dipsea is offering an extended 30 day trial of full access for our listeners!
Start now at dipseastories.com/dysfunction
That’s D I P S E A stories .com/dysfunction
Join our Patreon!! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction
Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction
Instagram.com/lurkpatafria2
Instagram.com/crystaldamato21
Email us your questions/stories at: hellodysfunction@gmail.com

S1 Ep187: Small Town Girl Sep 25, 2022

Show notes

If you don’t like us, we feel you.
Pata Fria was given a defective vagina, Crystal used to love morning after pills and there’s a fine line between subtle enhancements and full on transformation. Crystal lasered herself a new face and loved telling everyone all about it.
Men flirting is really cringe. Sexual dysfunction is stressful and Crystal is NOT from Steel Magnolias.
For bonus content and additional episodes join our Patreon!! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction
Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction
Instagram.com/patafria.again
Instagram.com/crystaldamato21
Email us your questions/stories at: hellodysfunction@gmail.com

S1 Ep186: Her Shoes Don't Fit Sep 17, 2022

Show notes

Pata Fria is a bio hacker.
Roasting yourself is empowering!
Bring back pink popcorn, more lavender foods and bad moms are a popular theme this week.
It’s Latinx heritage month! Scarface is cancelled and don’t give your child a ridiculous name.
Check out this week’s sponsor!
• DIPSEA
Dipsea is an audio app full of short, sexy stories designed to turn you on!
The characters feel like real people with real life scenarios and new content is added weekly.
If you need to wind down there are also wellness sessions, sensual bedtime stories and soundscapes to help you relax before you drift off.
Right now Dipsea is offering an extended 30 day trial of full access for our listeners!
Start now at dipseastories.com/dysfunction
That’s D I P S E A stories .com/dysfunction
Join our Patreon!! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction
Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction
Instagram.com/lurkpatafria
Instagram.com/crystaldamato21
Email us your questions/stories at: hellodysfunction@gmail.com

S1 Ep185: One, Two, Three, Six Sep 10, 2022

Show notes

Happy Birthday Peez!!
Hers a big girl and is already acting like it.
The Queen has passed. Now return the stolen artifacts. We’ve been having record breaking temperatures, don’t share my goodbye letter and tape your mouth shut.
Check out this week’s sponsors!
• BetterHelp
Professional therapy from the comfort of your own home.
Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO
• Gladskin
Gladskin is a product that works with your skin’s natural bacteria to soothe and resolve eczema, rosacea, acne and other skin irritations. Steroid-free and non-toxic, safe enough to also use on baby.
Right now our listeners get 15% off plus free shipping (we love that) at gladskin.com with discount code HELLODYSFUNCTION. That’s Gladskin.com/hellodysfunction
Join our Patreon!! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction
Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction
Instagram.com/lurkpatafria
Instagram.com/crystaldamato21
Email us your questions/stories at: hellodysfunction@gmail.com

S1 Ep184: It's Ramen Time Sep 03, 2022

Show notes

CHREEEEEEEES!!
We feel sick. Crystal is a woodworker. Don’t sleep with your dead pets and Pata Fria is opening a Montessori school.
Be patient with your neurodivergent partners and learn your love/apology languages.
Forgiveness develops with time. Growing up in the 90s was so incredibly toxic and have you made a virginity promise to your dad?
Join our Patreon!! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction
Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction
Instagram.com/lurkpatafria
Instagram.com/crystaldamato21
Email us your questions/stories at: hellodysfunction@gmail.com

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