HEALTHY FAMILY CONNECTIONS

Latest Episodes:

Are We Dumbing Down Our Expectations? Apr 24, 2018

Show notes

In this episode Neil responds to a Dad who has given his son permission to smoke marijuana and drink, if it's not to often, not too much, and not when driving. Neil helps Dad see that this poor decision was made in a Control Battle based relationship that has left parents disempowered and burned out. Neil reminds Dad of the vital developmental tasks taking place during adolescence and gives Dad a way to get back on track. Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit

My Failure to Launch Son Apr 10, 2018

Show notes

In this episode Neil responds to the mother of a 20 year old son with social anxiety living at home, not working or going to school who spends most of his time in his room playing video games. Mom is wondering if she needs to kick him out and change the locks. Neil helps this Mom see the Control Battle she is in with her son and supports her in reclaiming a healthy vision of him while setting limits in a healthy manner. Neil role-plays a Control Battle Ending Conversation she can have and recommends intensive therapeutic resources that can get this young man the therapeutic support he needs. Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit

My Teen Daughter Doesn't Like to Socialize Apr 05, 2018

Show notes

In this episode Neil responds to the mother of a 10th grade girl who does well in most areas, but doesn't pursue friendships and doesn't like to challenger herself. Her favorite thing is being at home and playing with her brothers and her parents. Neil explains that kids develop in different ways and at different times and reassures this mother that her daughter is healthy and on her own developmental path. Neil addresses the issue of parenting information overload perhaps making parents overly stressed when their child or teen is unique in some way and Neil cautions against the tendency to focus on areas of relative weakness rather than on areas of strength. Neil provides this Mom with lots of good ideas to help her daughter continue to grow and thrive. Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit

My Teen Daughter Says She Hates Me Mar 28, 2018

Show notes

In this episode Neil responds to a mother of a young teen girl who blames her for everything and when she gets mad says, "I hate you". Mom and Dad's best efforts to help her calm down, feel loved and get perspective haven't worked and they're wondering what to do. Neil explains how the temperamental differences between the parents and their daughter are interfering in their ability to offer support and accountability to parental standards to their daughter. Neil shows this mother and listeners how to match an intense child or teenager's emotional level in a positive way to reestablish accountability. Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit

Should I Push my Anxious and Fragile Son to Try Harder? Mar 20, 2018

Show notes

In this episode Neil responds to a mother of a 17 year old teen who has been suffering from GAD or generalized anxiety disorder for several years. He's has lots of professional resources but hasn't gotten better and now he has no friends and doesn't talk in school at all. Mother's question is whether or not she should require him to go to Adolescent Therapy Group or not, since he doesn't want to go and is fragile. Neil helps this mother understand that their 17 year old and his parents are in a Control Battle, albeit a passive one, where parents are trying to get their son to move forward, and the son is avoiding and trying to stay in his comfort zone. Neil offers several things the parents can do to immediately effect change. Neil Challenges the listeners to understand and remember that chronic problems with children and teens always exist in a family context and if you want the behavior to change, the family pattern will need to change. Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit

I'm Terrified That My Son Is Losing His Way Mar 13, 2018

Show notes

In this episode Neil responds to a mother of a 15 year old teen who stopped caring about his school work and is hanging around with a kid who is exposing him to marijuana. Mom feels helpless and desperate. Neil identifies this mother's disempowered attitude and her parental burnout as contributing factors. Neil offers several actions Mom can take and role-plays a talk she can have with her son. Neil ends the podcast by challenging the listener to be aware of disempowering themselves and he offers the Alice Walker quote: "The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don't have any." Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit

Time to Switch from Consequences to Privileges Mar 07, 2018

Show notes

In this episode Neil responds to a Dad whose son says removing his privileges is just a form of punishment. Neil explains the concept of earned privileges and how it teaches and encourages children and teenagers to develop personal responsibility, an empowering skill necessary for happiness and success. Neil then answers this Dad's question directly and gives him a strategy to talk with his son and effectively switch from consequences to earned privileges. Neil ends by challenging listeners to get out of the rut of giving ineffective consequences and shifting to the model of Earned Privileges. Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit

The Unique Challenges of Families In Transition Feb 27, 2018

Show notes

In this episode Neil talks with Clinical and Educational Psychologist Mark Burdick. Mark specializes in evaluations and placements for adolescents and young adults who require greater support in settings such as wilderness programs, residential treatment and recovery programs. In this episode, Neil and Mark discuss the challenges of families living abroad or in new locations as well as some of the ways to address their increased need for support. Neil challenges listeners to be mindful if their extra need for support if they are relocated or to support someone they know who is new to an area. Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit

My Rude and Demanding Daughter Feb 21, 2018

Show notes

In this episode Neil responds to a Mom with a rude and demanding 13 year-old daughter. Mom feels guilty because she's been yelling when she gets to the end of her rope. Now she doesn't know how to respond when she goes to set limits and her daughter, and her daughter points out that Mom's behavior is just as bad as hers. Neil explains and demonstrates use of "The Talk" as a method to shift out of an old unhealthy pattern into a new and healthy one. By helping Mom take responsibility for her own behavior and making amends, she can now require her daughter to take responsibility for hers. Neil challenges listeners to examine the question of whether we are doing too much for our kids and then being resentful when they take advantage of that. Neil challenges listeners to always require our teenagers' best. Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit

Why Isn't My Son Happy? Feb 14, 2018

Show notes

In this episode Neil responds to a Dad concerned that his young adult son isn't happy. Neil looks at how Control Battles can develop when parents over-focus on making their sons and daughters happy. He engages a discussion on the subject of happiness; where it comes from and how to raise our children and teenagers to live happy fulfilling lives. Neil challenges listeners to examine the question of whether we, as a culture are over focused on happiness. Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit

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