Grief Out Loud

Latest Episodes:

The Million Stages Of Grief - Michael Reed On Finding His Way After Catastrophic Loss Mar 05, 2026

Show notes

What does grief look like when you lose your wife, two daughters, your home, and nearly everything you own - all in a single night? In this episode we talk with Michael Reed, a husband, father, and author whose life was forever changed when a wildfire swept through his community, taking the lives of his wife Constance, his older daughter Chloe, his youngest, Lily, their pets, and reducing their home to ashes. Nearly a decade later, Michael shares about the darkness he fell into, who was there to hold him and his son up, the ways he stays connected to his wife and daughters, and how he's re-engaged with life through writing and helping others.

Michael Reed is the author of The Million Stages of Grief, a self-published book born from years of middle-of-the-night writing as he tried to make sense of catastrophic loss. He also became an unexpected public face of his community's tragedy - a role he has since transformed into a mission of talking openly about grief, faith, and learning to live again.

In this episode:

Michael shares vivid memories of his daughters: Chloe's extraordinary compassion and Lily's unforgettable sass and spirit.
What it's like to lose not only the people you love but every physical trace of them - and how Michael keeps their memory close without tangible reminders.
How his son Nicholas became a teacher for Michael in how to grieve.
His experience with EMDR therapy and what acceptance means to him.
The origin of The Million Stages of Grief: how raw, unedited Facebook posts led to a blog, then to a self-published book.
Why the five stages of grief didn't work for Michael - and how he came to understand that grief can move through a million stages in a single day.
A raw, honest account of his anger at God after the fire.
What it was like to become the unwilling public spokesperson for a community's tragedy, and how he has reclaimed that platform on his own terms.
His core message: loss is loss, no matter who or what you've lost — and using your own hurt to help others is how we change the world.

Connect with Michael:

Website - https://themillionstages.com/ Books - https://themillionstages.com/books IG - https://www.instagram.com/reedstrong2020

Transcript

Want to learn more about supporting children and teens who are grieving? Sign up for our online courses here: https://classes.dougy.org/

Tending To The Roots Of Ritual With Joél Simone, The Grave Woman Feb 20, 2026

Show notes

In this episode of Grief Out Loud, we talk with death & grief care professional, educator, and cultural advocate Joél Simone, also known as The Grave Woman.

Joél shares the story behind a childhood drawing that declared her future as "the grave woman," and how that early curiosity about death grew into a lifelong vocation in funeral service, grief education, and cultural competency. Drawing from decades of experience, Joél reflects on the spiritual, cultural, and embodied dimensions of grief, including what she's learned by listening closely to families, children, and traditions that are too often overlooked.

Joél also talks about her work as founder of the Multicultural Death & Grief Care Academy, including immersive learning experiences that center history, ritual, land, and lineage. Throughout the conversation, she invites us to rethink what ritual looks like and how tending to culture can provide grounding and support for grief.

We discuss:

How rituals - inherited and improvised - can be a form of medicine
What the funeral industry still needs to understand about serving Black and African American families
The importance of cultural humility, proactive learning, and not treating communities as monoliths
How children experience death and mourning from their literal, physical perspective and what adults often miss
The role of land, ancestry, and cultural preservation in grief, particularly within Gullah Geechee communities
Why culture itself can be a powerful container for grief and remembrance

Connect with Joél Simone:

Website: www.thegravewoman.com The Multicultural Death & Grief Care Academy Workshops & Classes The Death & Grief Talk Podcast

IG: https://www.instagram.com/thegravewoman Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thegravewoman/

Restrung: Music, Grief, And Fatherhood With Matt Fogelson Feb 13, 2026

Show notes

When Matt Fogelson's father died of lung cancer during his senior year of college, he turned to music to express what words couldn't - rage, self-loathing, and grief so profound he didn't know where to put it.

In this conversation, Matt - author of the new memoir Restrung - talks about the silence that surrounded his father's terminal illness, the vacuum left by an absent but beloved parent, and how grunge music (especially Soundgarden and Pearl Jam) created space for him to feel what was hard to put into words.

Matt shares how his Aunt Wendy became his unlikely guide, why he wore his father's suits to work for years trying to feel close to him, and the breakthrough moment when Pearl Jam's "Release" helped him shift his relationship with his father's memory and his grief.

We also discuss how grief shaped his approach to parenting, why he sang a Grateful Dead song to his son every night for 14 years, and the three songs he wishes he could share with his father now.

Resources

Matt's memoir Restrung (released February 3, 2026)
Matt's Substack and music blog (Fine Tuning)
More at dougy.org

Grief Out Loud is a production of Dougy Center, the National Grief Center for Children and Families.

When Grief and Trauma Collide – Christina Babich, MA Feb 03, 2026

Show notes

When Christina Babich's partner, Alex, died suddenly from a brain aneurysm while they were visiting his family in Italy, her world shattered in more ways than one. In addition to the grief of losing the person she loved and the future they were building together, Christina was also left to navigate the aftermath of a deeply traumatic event - one that profoundly impacted her nervous system, sense of safety, and identity.

In this episode, Christina shares what it was like to grieve a sudden, "out-of-order" death while also navigating the derealization, hypervigilance, and other ways the trauma of his death affected her. She talks about how being a "quasi widow" shaped the care and recognition she received and why platitudes about resilience and post-traumatic growth can sometimes feel alienating rather than supportive.

Christina also reflects on how her personal experience shaped her work as a psychologist specializing in grief and trauma, including the role of Cognitive Processing Therapy (CPT), the pressure placed on people who are grieving to "transform" their pain, and the importance of being witnessed by someone who truly understands.

We discuss

The difference between grief and trauma - and how they often coexist
Derealization, PTSD, and nervous system responses after a sudden death
What Christina means by "quasi-widow"
Why platitudes about strength and growth can feel harmful
How Cognitive Processing Therapy was helpful for her
Grieving lost identities, futures, and imagined lives
Finding connection with others who can relate
Living day-to-day when the future feels overwhelming

Connect with Christina Website: https://www.christinababich.com/ Substack: christinababich.substack.com

Echoes Of Her - Adell Coleman On Grieving Her Mother & Finding Community Jan 26, 2026

Show notes

In this episode of Grief Out Loud, we talk with Adell Coleman about her mother who was killed when Adell was just 24 years old. Adell reflects on the closeness of their relationship and how her mom's death radically shifted her sense of safety in the world. She shares how the circumstances around her mother's death, including being the person who found her, has made it difficult to remember how her mom lived, without reliving how she died.

Adell also talks about what it's been like raising two daughters who never met their grandmother, but somehow carry her presence in surprising and meaningful ways. She reflects on anniversaries 14 years later, the exhaustion of grief, and how becoming the family "grief expert" interrupted her capacity to engage with her own grief.

The conversation closes with Adell describing how community, therapy, boundaries, and creative work - including her documentary and podcast, Echoes of Her: To Mom With Love - have helped her find language, connection, and space for her grief.

We discuss

Losing a mother in young adulthood and feeling "not ready" to be an adult
How violent death and trauma impact grief and memory
The challenge of accessing good memories when you are dealing with traumatic imagery
Parenting while grieving and helping children connect with a grandparent they never met
Anniversaries, emotional exhaustion, and grief over time
Becoming the family "grief expert" and having to put off personal grief
Finding community after loss and why the right support can take time
Creating meaning through storytelling, connection, and creative projects
Adell's documentary and her new podcast, Echoes of Her: To Mom With Love

Connect with Adell Instagram: @iamadellcoleman Podcast: Echoes of Her Threads: @iamadellcoleman Documentary: Echoes of Her: To Mom With Love Substack: On My Momma

Why Grief Isn't A Journey (And What It Is Instead) - John Onwuchekwa Jan 08, 2026

Show notes

What if grief isn't a journey for us to eventually finish, but more a language we become fluent in? In this first episode of 2026, we talk with writer, storyteller, and social entrepreneur, John Onwuchekwa, whose life was profoundly shaped by the death of his brother Sam in 2015. John shares how Sam's death altered not just his relationships and priorities, but his understanding of grief itself.

Rather than framing grief as a journey with an endpoint, John offers a different metaphor: grief as a language that we learn over time, one with past, present, and future tenses. He explores how grief comes through not just in our words, but our bodies, our reflexes, and our relationships, showing up in ways we often don't consciously choose.

We discuss:

The limitations - and harm - of common grief metaphors
The shifts in John's priorities and perspective that occurred after Sam died
How loneliness often sits at the center of grief
The ways grief can show up in our bodies, before our minds understand what's happening
Holding grief and hope at the same time

Connect with John Website: https://www.johno.co/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jawn_o/?hl=en We Go On: https://www.andwegoon.com/ Blog: https://www.johno.blog/ Podcast: Four In The Morning https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast... Portrait Coffee: https://www.johno.co/ventures#portrait

Time Keeps Moving, But She Doesn't: Mackenzie Galloway-Cole On Grief And New Year's Dec 22, 2025

Show notes

In the fall of 2023, Mackenzie Galloway-Cole was living out her rom-com-worthy love story with her wife Megan in New York City. Then, on an ordinary night in November, Megan collapsed and died a few hours later from a sudden cardiac event. In the aftermath, Mackenzie had to find her way in this newly shattered world without Megan, her anchor and biggest cheerleader.

Mackenzie reflects on the shock of becoming a young widow, the added layers of grief that come with queer partner loss, and the painful realities of navigating death care systems that often default to heteronormative assumptions.

Together, Jana and Mackenzie talk about the isolating nature of sudden and unexplained death, the importance of finding people who "get it," and the ways time itself becomes a particularly painful aspect of grief. Mackenzie also shares why New Year's can feel like a uniquely brutal grief milestone, how absence accumulates as life continues, and how Megan's love still shapes the way she takes care of herself today.

This conversation holds space for heartbreak, dark humor, love stories, and the not-so-quiet ways grief rewires daily life - especially when the person you most want to turn to is the one who died.

In this episode, we discuss:

The story of how Megan and Mackenzie met and fell in love
Sudden death and the trauma of an ordinary day turning catastrophic
The intersection of being a young, gay widow
Navigating hospitals, funeral homes, and death administration as a queer spouse
Why the small, everyday moments can hurt more than the big ones
How the second Christmas can feel even harder than the first
New Year's as a "sneaky" grief holiday
How the choices you make in life can reflect and honor your person who died

Mackenzie Galloway-Cole writes about grief at Good Gay Grief on Substack and can also be found on Instagram at @deadwifeclub

Brennan Wood On How Grief Is To Feel, Not Fix - Even At The Holidays Dec 11, 2025

Show notes

It's our annual holiday episode, this time with Dougy Center Executive Director and TEDx speaker Brennan Wood. Brennan first encountered Dougy Center after her mom, Doris, died of breast cancer three days after Brennan's 12th birthday. She has since navigated almost four decades of holiday seasons with grief along for the ride. She shares about the early years that were awful; the young-adult years she spent volunteering away from family; and how, as an adult, she's learned to hold both grief and joy while creating new traditions for her own family. Whether this is your first or 41st holiday season with grief, this conversation offers validation, tangible suggestions, and new ways to think about this time of year.

We discuss:

How attending a peer grief support group as a teen introduced Brennan to the idea that grief is to feel, not fix.
Accepting that not everything has to be bright and shiny, especially during the holidays.
Recalling the first Christmas after her mom died and why it felt awful.
New traditions she's created as an adult with her own family.
Grounding rituals Brennan uses, especially during the holidays.
Why it's okay to be mad at holiday traditions you used to love.

Need additional tips and suggestions for this time of year?

Check out our past episodes and our Holiday Grief Tip Sheet & Worksheet

It's Okay That It's Not the Same: Grief at the Holidays

It Can Be So Awkward: Holidays & Grief

The Not- Most Wonderful Time of the Year: Holidays & Grief

Grief And The Holidays

Under Pressure – Grief & December Holidays

Watch Brennan's TEDxPortland Talk - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZN4zP5baJrg Read her A Kid's Book About Grief - https://dougybookstore.org/products/a-kids-book-about-grief Learn more about Brennan - https://www.dougy.org/about/team-dougy/executive-director

Beyond Silence: Kyndal Parks On Honoring Her Grandfather & Advocating For Better Grief Support Dec 04, 2025

Show notes

When Kyndal Parks' grandfather died on Black Friday - the day after Thanksgiving – she lost one of her biggest supporters and confidants. While navigating her grief, Kyndal was also navigating life as a college student where she often felt unseen in her grief by faculty and the wider institution. What began as a class assignment turned into a powerful audio piece about loss, legacy, and the urgent need for grief-informed spaces on college campuses, particularly at HBCUs where collective trauma, silence, and resilience intertwine.

In this conversation, Kyndal shares about her grandfather's extraordinary life - from his childhood in the 1940s, to living with a disability, to his time as a Black Panther, a gardener, a traveler, and the steady source of love that shaped her into the person she is today. She talks about the traditions they built together, how her grief shows up even from 2,000 miles away, and why vulnerability and community care are essential if we want to build environments where students who are grieving feel supported.

Kyndal also explores the cultural and historical patterns of grief in Black communities, the pressure to "push through," and her vision for a world where grief is met with connection, not silence.

We discuss:

What made Kyndal's grandfather such an influential figure
How his death reshaped her understanding of family, holidays, and identity
What grief looked like at her college, and within her family and community
Why she created her audio piece and what she hopes listeners take from it
The need for vulnerability, community support, and grief-informed care at HBCUs and beyond
How her grandfather continues to guide her today

Check out News Ambassadors, the program that helped connect us with Kyndal and her audio piece.

Going To College With Grief - Loss In Young Adulthood Nov 25, 2025

Show notes

When Hilary was 18, her oldest sister, Kelly, died from a rare cancer called DSRCT (desmoplastic small round cell tumor). In the same year, Hilary left for college and her parents divorced - three life-altering events that reshaped her relationships, sense of stability, and the early years of adulthood.

In this episode, we talk about:

Growing up as the youngest of three sisters and the creative, nurturing bond she shared with Kelly
Navigating Kelly's diagnosis, treatment, and death while still in high school
Trying to appear "fine" in college while carrying immense grief
The ways her family dynamics shifted after Kelly's death and her parents' divorce
How grief continued to evolve across developmental stages, from early adulthood into her mid-30s
The unexpected moments - like baking bread or bringing home a new pet – that bring new waves of grief
How her experience shaped her work as a therapist supporting others in pain

Hilary also shares what she wishes she had known about grief at 18, how exhausting it can be, and how she learned to make space for grief that shows up differently over time.

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