Grief Out Loud

Latest Episodes:

Ep. 101: Grief, Seven Decades Later Jan 10, 2019

Show notes

What is it like to grieve for a father you know only from stories and photos? In August of 2018, Joy Wallace traveled to Tinian Island to see the place where her father, Kenneth, died when the plane he was flying as a 2nd Lieutenant in the Army Air Corp in World War II crashed. Joy's father died three months before she was born and she grew up with a longing to visit the place where he died. Her trip, which was filled with synchronicities, broke open the grief she'd been carrying for over seven decades.

Ep. 100: It's A Grief Party! Dec 27, 2018

Show notes

Okay, so it's not really a grief party, but it is Grief Out Loud's 100th episode. When we started this show four years ago in January of 2015, we weren't sure we'd do more than 10 episodes, never mind 100 and we have you, listeners and guests, to thank for helping us reach this milestone. In the past four years, we've had the honor of hosting 99 storytellers - people coming forward with the emotions and thoughts that may never have been spoken aloud before. For many of us, grief resides in the shadows. It's tucked behind, kept quiet, and told how to behave. And by behave what most of us mean is please stop existing. Stop tugging on our hearts and taking up space in the vacancy left behind by the people who have died. But what we've learned is grief doesn't take kindly to being told what to do and it really doesn't love being told to shush. So that's what we hoped to create with this show - a place where people can talk openly about the swirl of thoughts and feelings that come with grief. A place where those who are feeling lost can come for connection and flashlights of hope. A place to feel less alone and maybe a little less lonely.

As a way of thanking listeners and guests for making Grief Out Loud what it is, we wanted to turn the show over to you today. We asked you to tell us what the show has meant to you. Thank you to everyone who helped make this episode happen!

Ep. 99: It's So Much More Than What We Can See - Doreen Wiggins, MD Dec 14, 2018

Show notes

In 2000 Doreen Wiggins, MD began having vivid dreams that her husband was going to die. These dreams, combined with a session with an intuitive healer who confirmed her fears, prompted Doreen, who was already an accomplished surgeon, to seek out training in supporting grieving children. Then in 2009, while skiing in Colorado, her husband died suddenly due to hypertrophic cardiomyopathy. Doreen's fears had become a reality. Devastated and still needing to parent their 5 children, she first turned to therapy and then yoga, finding a lifeline in what would become a daily practice. This overlap of her medical training and the benefits of yoga sparked her interest in researching how grief affects us physiologically, emotionally, and spiritually.

If you or someone you know is struggling with thoughts of suicide, please reach out for help.

24/7 Crisis Text Line: Text Hello to 741741 24/7 Crisis Phone Line: 1-800-273-8255 (TALK)

Ep. 98: Under Pressure - Holidays & Grief Dec 06, 2018

Show notes

Nothing says end of the year holiday stress like grief. Dougy Center staff member Rebecca Hobbs-Lawrence is back with more great tips on planning for and making your way through the holidays when you and your family are in the midst of grief. We also share some new activities to try that can be done solo or as a family.

Downloads to explore: The Gift List article Chef for a Day activity Holiday Plan & Worksheet

Listen to Ep. 27: Grief And The Holidays

Ep. 97: An Unexpected Devastation Nov 28, 2018

Show notes

For Camila, death came barreling into her world with zero warning. When she was 21 her world shifted on its axis on an average morning in September. She woke up in the house she shared with her mother in the Bay Area expecting just another day. Then, she went to check on her mother, only to find that she had died in her sleep. There were no warning signs. No indicators that anything was amiss. Her mom was there and then she wasn't. In the 9 years since that morning, Camila has grieved intensely and intently. She's searched for connections with her mother, finding an outlet for expression in writing.

Check out Camila's recently published book of poetry: The Progression of Grief.

Full text of the poem Camila reads at the end of the episode:

The Absence of Her As the crisp November breeze Drowns out the rest of October, The aching sadness Meanders in. At first, I attribute it To anxiety, To my fear of scarcity Rooted from fantasy nightmares Instead of reality. I want to blame it on The cold Or how nostalgic the Changing seasons Makes me feel. But as the days pass, And it becomes mid November, And the familiarity of this pain Settles into all the crevices of my heart, I know what this really is. My grief returns, Amused mildly at my assessment That it ever left. As the orange and yellow leaves Are more present crumbled on the ground Than dancing on the branches, I feel myself pulling inwards. In the absence of The lady in purple, The woman who always made me feel Like everything would be okay, I have created a life that I love. A life better than I ever Could have imagined. And yet, The absence of her, At times -- Many times, Still feels gaping, Still feels unjust, Still feels like I will never recover. In the absence of The lady in purple, I allow myself to see all The signs of hope and connection, Always craving another connection to her. As we barrel forwards, Approaching another holiday season, Another winter, Another year, The hole within me still feels gaping, Still feels empty, Still craving her love and comfort to fill it. ~Camila Martin

Ep. 96: Dear Me, A Mini-Episode Nov 20, 2018

Show notes

November is National Children's Grief Awareness Month and as part of the effort to raise awareness about children's grief, the National Alliance for Grieving Children (NAGC) invited people to write a letter to their younger grieving selves. In this mini-episode, we share two of those letters. One by Brennan Wood, the Executive Director of The Dougy Center, to her 12-year-old self. The second letter is a compilation of suggestions and advice for the staff at The Dougy Center. To learn more about the NAGC and their work to support grieving children, visit their site.

Ep. 95: Witnessing A Stranger's Death Oct 30, 2018

Show notes

On a random Monday morning in the Bay Area of California, Beth Duckles realized too late that she was in the wrong lane of the highway. A lane that would take her across the Bay Bridge from Oakland to San Francisco. This unexpected trip across the bay bridge would alter Beth's life. Swerving to avoid a parked car, she watched a man walk to the edge of the bridge, climb onto the railing, and step off. She called 911 and somehow managed to drive across the bridge until she found a safe place to stop on the other side. In ways she couldn't imagine at the time, witnessing this man's death would become an experience that deeply connected her to long-standing family grief and her own mother's sudden death four years later.

Check out Beth's powerful essay about this experience.

Ep. 94: Conflicted Grief - Jan Canty, PhD Oct 22, 2018

Show notes

When someone dies, we often discover things about them we didn't know before. Those discoveries can range from mundane preferences like realizing your dad didn't love chocolate to huge revelations that alter your entire perspective on the person and the life you shared with them. What author Jan Canty discovered about her husband after he was murdered changed everything and left her shocked and angry. Now, 30 years after her husband's death, Jan is working on a book entitled Till Death We Did Part: A Memoir of Deception/Murder and Recovery.

Ways to connect with Jan and find out more about her upcoming book:

Facebook

Website

Ep. 93: Grief & Transformation - Phelica Glass, LSCSW Oct 16, 2018

Show notes

What does transformation mean and how does it connect (or not) to grief? How can people make their way into everything that comes with this kind of loss and still keep track of themselves?

Phelica Glass is a Licensed Specialist Clinical Social Worker in Topeka, Kansas. In her private psychotherapy practice, Phelica works with children, teens, adults, and families who are facing major life transitions, including grief.

In this episode, we talk about :

Grounding techniques for when the grief tide rolls in
How therapy can help ease the anxiety that is often present in grief
Transforming our relationship with the person who died

Connect with Phelica: https://www.facebook.com/1PhelicaGlass /

Ep. 92: Grief At School Oct 01, 2018

Show notes

As much as schools are places of learning, students don't leave their lives at the door when they enter the building. They bring their whole selves to the classroom, and for many, that includes grief. We talk with school social worker, Kate Sherwood, LCSW, about how to support students and the entire school community when grief shows up. Kate shares ideas for acknowledging grief, notifying the school community when a death occurs, and the power of bringing students together in their grief.

For more information about Judi's House/JAG Institute's Childhood Bereavement Estimation Model (CBEM), check out their site.

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