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    Kids & Family

    Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children

    Feeling overwhelmed by the complexities of raising a neurodivergent child? Full-Tilt Parenting is here to help. Hosted by parenting activist and author Debbie Reber, this podcast is your go-to resource for navigating life with ADHD, autism, learning disabilities, PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance), giftedness, and twice-exceptional (2e) kids. With expert interviews and candid conversations, you’ll discover practical solutions for things like school challenges and refusal, therapy options, and fostering inclusion, social struggles, advocacy, intense behavior, and more — all through a strengths-based, neurodiversity-affirming lens. Whether you’re struggling with advocating for your child at school or seeking ways to better support their unique needs, Debbie offers the guidance and encouragement you need to reduce overwhelm and create a thriving, joyful family environment. It’s like sitting down with a trusted friend who gets it. You’ve got this, and we’ve got your back!

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    Copyright: © 2023 TILT Parenting: Raising Differently Wired Kids

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    Latest Episodes:
    TPP 360: Dr. Jade Rivera on Designing Strengths-Based IEPs Feb 06, 2024
    Show notes

    If you are parenting a neurodivergent kid, you probably have a lot of experience getting feedback about your child — in IEP meetings, parent teacher conferences, therapists, neuropsychs, school counselors. And, so often this feedback is highlighting what’s hard or challenging and what needs to be improved, which, honestly, takes its toll on us and our kids. It can leave us feeling drained, discouraged, and overwhelmed.

    If you relate to this experience in any way, you’re going to appreciate today’s conversation with Dr. Jade Rivera, as she is going to talk with us about a new way she and her team are providing feedback with a completely different, and much more positive and optimistic, focus.

    Jade is the Lab Director for the new Strength-Based Assessment Lab at Bridges Graduate School, which uses the Suite of Tools, developed by twice-exceptional thought leaders Dr. Susan Baum and Dr. Robin Shader, to identify what a child likes, loves, and excels at. The goal of the Lab is to empower students, families, educators, and professionals in creating positive and collaborative learning experiences for children facing challenges in their educational environments.

    So today, Jade talks with us about her work and the Strength-Based Assessment Lab — what a strengths-based assessment is and how it’s conducted, what differentiates a strength and a talent, how to encourage our kids to pursue their interests without putting pressure on them to live up to our idea of potential. We also talked about how to get strength-based goals incorporated in IEPs and how to approach meetings when we are trying to shift the focus to our child’s strengths.

    About Dr. Jade Rivera

    As the Lab Director for the Strength-Based Assessment Lab at Bridges Graduate School, Dr. Jade Rivera leads the Lab to empower students, families, educators, and professionals in creating positive and collaborative learning experiences for children facing challenges in their educational environments.

    With over fifteen years of experience, she has designed and led micro-schools beloved by quirky and sensitive children, uniquely positioning her to provide insights into positive niche construction, strength-based pedagogy, and talent development for neurodivergent children. Her training in Nonviolent Communication and Montessori credential inspire her educational philosophies and practices, including project-based learning, dual-differentiation strategies, and gradeless classrooms.

    In 2016, the California Association for the Gifted honored Jade for distinguished service on behalf of gifted and twice-exceptional children. More recently, she was recognized as a “person to watch in the 2e movement” by 2e News. She earned her Ed.D. at Bridges Graduate School of Cognitive Diversity in 2022. She is honored to continue as a professor at the same school, supporting others as they envision a strength-based world for neurodivergent humans.

    Things you'll learn:

    • How the Strength-Based Assessment Lab at Bridges Graduate School gathers information from the child, caregivers, and professionals in the child's life to identify strengths, environmental obstacles, and dreams for the child's potential
    • The difference between recognizing and supporting a gifted or twice-exceptional child's strengths and talents and placing pressure on them to reach a certain potential
    • How parents and educators can incorporate a strengths-based approach in traditional school settings
    • Ideas for including strength-based goals in IEPs
    • Why it’s important to foster opportunities for a child to demonstrate what they love and what they're good at, even in small ways

    Resources mentioned:

    • The Strength-Based Assessment Lab at Bridges Graduate School of Cognitive Development
    • Jade Rivera on Substack
    • Susan Baum
    • Robin Schader
    • Bridges Graduate School of Cognitive Diversity in Education
    • Dr. Joseph Renzulli
    • Sunnyside Micro-School
    • Sandra Kay / Talent Development

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    TPP 102a: Sex Educator Amy Lang Gets Real About Kids and Pornography Feb 02, 2024
    Show notes

    A frank and open conversation with sex education expert Amy Lang about the risks, impact of, and reality of kids' exposure to pornography.

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    TPP 359: An Conversation with Dr. Emily Edlynn on Raising Autonomous Children Jan 30, 2024
    Show notes

    There are so many parenting styles — attachment, helicopter, positive, peaceful, authoritarian, authoritative, and on and on. And those of us parenting neurodivergent kids know there is no one-size-fits-all approach for navigating the day-to-day, even when our big picture goal is similar — to raise children who grow up to know themselves deeply and are prepared to live self-actualized lives, whatever that may look like for them.

    So I really loved learning about the focus of Dr. Emily Edlynn’s work on autonomy-supportive parenting, which she defines as “raising our children to understand their authentic selves, including developing self-respect, self-worth, behaving by values, the ability to self-govern, and feeling a sense of volition, or control over choices and actions.” She explains how to do this in her new book, Autonomy Supportive Parenting: Reduce Parental Burnout and Raise Competent, Confident Children, and that’s what we get into in today’s show.

    During this conversation, we talk about the ways in which autonomy-supportive parenting nurtures a child's autonomy, competence, and relatedness, which are actually the three needs that must be met according to self-determination theory, what “controlling parenting” is and how it can have negative effects on a child's well-being, and how to balance autonomy support with appropriate support and intervention when parenting a neurodivergent child or a child who is experiencing mental health challenges. We also discussed what keeps parents from adopting autonomy supportive parenting and how to navigate it when one’s partner isn’t on the same page in terms of parenting approach.


    About Dr. Emily Edlynn

    Dr. Emily Edlynn is a clinical psychologist, author, mother of three, and co-host of the Psychologists Off the Clock podcast. She pens the regular parenting advice column, Ask Your Mom, for Parents.com, has written for national outlets such as Washington Post, Scary Mommy, and Motherly, and has been featured as an expert across parenting articles in outlets such as the New York Times, CNN, and BBC. Emily works with children, teens, and families as the Director of Pediatric Behavioral Medicine at a private practice in Oak Park, IL. She lives in Oak Park with her endlessly supportive partner, three opinionated and charming children, and two rescue dogs. Emily’s new book, Autonomy-Supportive Parenting: Reduce Parental Burnout and Raise Competent, Confident Children is out now.

    Things you'll learn:

    • Autonomy supportive parenting (ASP) is a science-based approach that nurtures a child's autonomy, competence, and relatedness
    • What “controlling parenting” is and why it can have negative effects on a child's well-being
    • How ASP can be applied to neurodivergent kids by providing external structure and scaffolding while still promoting their sense of agency
    • How to balance autonomy support with appropriate support and intervention when parenting a child with mental health challenges
    • What gets in the way of parents embracing ASP
    • How to navigate it when one’s partner isn’t on the same page in terms of parenting approach

    Resources mentioned:

    • Dr, Emily Edlynn’s website
    • Autonomy-Supportive Parenting: Reduce Parental Burnout and Raise Competent, Confident Children by Dr. Emily Edlynn
    • Emily Edlynn’s free newsletter on Substack
    • Emily on Instagram
    • Emily on LinkedIn
    • All Joy and No Fun: The Paradox of Modern Parenthood by Jennifer Senior
    • How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success by Julie Lythcott-Haims
    • Julie Lythcott-Haims on Helping Differently Wired Kids Launch (Tilt Parenting Podcast)
    • Growing Up in Public: Coming of Age in a Digital World by Dr. Devorah Heitner
    • Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishment to Love and Reason by Alfie Kohn
    • I Will Die on This Hill: Autistic Adults, Autism Parents, and the Children Who Deserve a Better World by Meghan Ashburn and Jules Edwards

    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices


    TPP 095a: Anya Kamenetz Talks About Her Book "The Art of Screen Time" Jan 26, 2024
    Show notes

    NPR Journalist Anya Kamenetz discusses her new book "The Art of Screen Time" as well as her takeaways on the latest research surrounding screen time and differently wired kids.


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    TPP 358: Dr. Maureen Peterson on Finding Peace in Parenting a Child with Chronic Illness Jan 23, 2024
    Show notes

    Overwhelm, sadness, guilt, stress, and exhaustion are common experiences for parents raising neurodivergent children, and this is especially true when that child is navigating the complex landscape of also living with a serious or chronic illness. Unpredictability, financial strain, impact on the siblings, uncertainty about a child’s prognosis can all present significant challenges and lead to parental burnout.

    But according to my guest, Dr. Maureen Peteren, it’s possible for parents of chronically ill children to regain control of their lives and thrive at fulfillment. And she would know, as she has a distinct birds-eye view both as a general pediatrician and allergist/immunologist, she has spent her career caring for patients with a variety of acute and chronic health problems and first-hand experience of being a parent of a child with long-term health issues.

    I asked Maureen, who is also the author of the book Reclaiming Life: A Guide For Parents of Chronically Ill Children, to talk with us about the ways in which managing chronic illness in children requires parents to navigate overwhelming emotions and advocate for their child's health, even when that advocacy can feel uncomfortable; how maintaining perspective and turning challenges into gifts can help parents cope with the emotional toll of parenting a child with a chronic illness, and the importance of open communication with children and involving siblings in the care process in order to foster understanding and support within the family.

    Whether your child has asthma, severe allergies, diabetes, or some other chronic health condition, Maureen’s guidance and coaching will give you practical strategies and reframes for finding more peace in your day-to-day lives.

    About Maureen Michele Petersen

    Maureen Michele Petersen, MD is an award-winning physician, life coach, author, and mom. As a general pediatrician and allergist/immunologist, she has spent her career caring for patients with a variety of acute and chronic health problems. She is an accomplished life coach who helps parents of chronically ill children regain control of their lives and thrive at fulfillment. Maureen is the mother of three amazing children and has first-hand experience with being a parent of a child with long-term health issues.

    Things you'll learn from this episode

    • How to navigate overwhelming emotions that come up due to the unpredictability and uncertainty that accompanies chronic illness in kids
    • Strategies for maintaining perspective and turning challenges into gifts
    • How to create a culture of open communication with other children / siblings in the care process in order to foster understanding and support within the family
    • How to effectively advocate with healthcare providers by staying curious and engaged and being aware of emotions

    Resources mentioned for Finding Peace in Parenting a Child with Chronic Illness

    • Dr. Maureen Michele’s website
    • Maureen on Instagram
    • Maureen on Facebook
    • Reclaiming Life: A Guide For Parents of Chronically Ill Children by Maureen Michele, MD

    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices


    TPP 083a: A Conversation with Melissa Wardy About Raising Anxious Kids Jan 19, 2024
    Show notes

    Author Melissa Wardy shares her personal story of discovering her children's anxiety disorder and adapting her life to support who they are.

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    TPP 357: Parenting At the Intersections of Race and Neurodivergence Jan 16, 2024
    Show notes

    We’ve talked a lot about advocating for our children on the show, but today, we are adding the additional consideration of race to the conversation, because we know that families raising differently-wired kids of color experience additional roadblocks when it comes to getting support in all kinds of environments, fostering empowering neurodivergent identities and much more. My guests for this rich conversation are Jaya Ramesh and Priya Saaral, authors of the brand new book Parenting at the Intersections: Raising Neurodivergent Children of Color.

    They came to this big through their lived experience as neurodivergent moms raising neurodivergent kids in this intersection of race, identity, and disability. Jaya is a psychotherapist in private practice specializing in supporting BIPOC neurodivergent individuals and couples in having more authentic relationships. And Priya is a play therapist and a parenting coach specializing in the emotional well-being of neurodivergent children and parents.

    Parenting at the Intersections is a wonderful book, and I did my best to explore some of the concepts they thoughtfully write about, including how parenting at the intersections involves navigating multiple marginalized identities and systems of oppression, why identity development is a complex process for children at the intersections, how parents can create conditions for their kids to be seen and respected, and the ways in which advocating for kids in the education system requires awareness of rights, documentation, and support from organizations and advocates.

    About Jaya Ramesh

    Jaya Ramesh, MA LMHC, is a psychotherapist in private practice in the greater Seattle area, specializing in supporting BIPOC neurodivergent individuals and couples in having more authentic relationships. She also supports organizations in creating an anti-racist culture in the workplace.

    About Priya Saaral

    Priya Saaral, MSW, LICSW, RPT-S is a neurodivergent mama, a play therapist, and a parenting coach in the Greater Seattle area, specializing in the emotional well-being of neurodivergent children and parents by helping them reconnect to their playful spirit amidst personal and structural adversity

    Things you'll learn:

    • How parenting at the intersections involves navigating multiple marginalized identities and systems of oppression
    • Why identity development is a complex process for children at the intersections, and how parents can create conditions for their kids to be seen and respected
    • The ways in which advocating for kids in the education system requires awareness of rights, documentation, and support from organizations and advocates.
    • How unschooling can be a form of resistance in the context of raising neurodivergent children of color.
    • How parents who aren't raising children of color can still benefit from learning about the experiences and challenges faced by these families.
    • Why community support is crucial in mitigating the loneliness and providing understanding for parents raising neurodivergent children of color.

    Resources mentioned:

    • Parenting at the Intersections: Raising Neurodivergent Children of Color by Jaya Ramesh and Priya Saaral
    • Website for Parenting at the Intersections
    • Parenting at the Intersections on Instagram
    • Jaya on Instagram
    • Priya on Instagram
    • Jaya on Linkedin
    • Cheryl Poe and Advocating 4Kids
    • Akilah Richards on Unschooling and Raising Free People (Tilt Parenting Podcast)
    • Raising Free People: Unschooling as Liberation and Healing Work by Akilah Richards

    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices


    TPP 075a: Julie Neale Talks About Her Mother's Quest to Live an E.P.I.C. Life Jan 12, 2024
    Show notes

    Debbie talks with Julie Neale talks about her journey as mother to two differently wired boys and how she's supporting mothers in living an E.P.I.C. life through Mother's Quest.

    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices


    TPP 356: Supporting Healthy Digital Media Use for Neurodivergent Kids Jan 09, 2024
    Show notes

    Many of our kids spend a LOT of time engaging on screens and with technology, and I don’t know about you, but for me it feels like this is an ever-changing, and fast-changing landscape, and one that can be hard to stay on top of. Whether we’re talking about assistive technology, videos, games, or social media, these forms of media continue to offer new ways of interacting, developing relationships, and even exploring identity, and this has added to the complexity of raising neurodivergent kiddos. So I invited Dr. Meryl Alper, a researcher on the social and cultural implications of communication technologies with a focus on disability, digital media, and children and families’ tech use to join me to talk about how we should be thinking about our kids’ relationship with screens and tech.

    I reached out to Meryl after reading her new book, Kids Across the Spectrums: Growing Up Autistic in the Digital Age, which explores the often-misunderstood technology practices of young autistic people, as well as what it means to be “social” in a hypermediated society.

    So that’s what we get into: the factors that influence a child’s relation to media, how digital media is creating spaces for kids to develop their identities online, and what we – parents, schools – should be doing to better educate kids on safely interacting with online communities and new technologies. We also talked about fandoms and how they have become a part of identity and belonging development, and why every parent needs to spend time understanding how their children are using and consuming media.

    If your child, autistic or otherwise neurodivergent, regularly engages with screens and tech, you’ll get a lot out of this episode.

    About my guest

    Dr. Meryl Alper is an Associate Professor of Communication Studies at Northeastern University, where she researches the social and cultural implications of communication technologies, with a focus on disability, digital media, and children and families’ tech use. Dr. Alper is the author of Digital Youth with Disabilities (MIT Press, 2014) and the award-winning Giving Voice: Mobile Communication, Disability, and Inequality (MIT Press, 2017). Her latest book, Kids Across the Spectrums: Growing Up Autistic in the Digital Age (MIT Press, 2023), explores the often-misunderstood technology practices of young people on the autism spectrum, as well as what it means to be “social” in a hypermediated society.

    Dr. Alper also draws on nearly 20 years of professional experience in the children’s media industry as a researcher, strategist, and consultant with organizations such as Sesame Workshop, PBS KIDS, Nickelodeon, and Disney. Prior to joining the faculty at Northeastern, Dr.Alper earned a Ph.D. and M.A. from the Annenberg School for Communication and Journalism at the University of Southern California.She also holds a B.S. in Communication Studies and History from Northwestern University, as well as a certificate in Early Childhood Education from UCLA.

    Things you'll learn:

    • Why representation in media is crucial for autistic children to develop a sense of identity and belonging
    • How technology can provide opportunities for connection and community for autistic children
    • Special considerations parents and educators could keep in mind regarding online safety for neurodivergent children
    • The importance of advocating for media literacy education that is catered to neurodivergent children
    • Why understanding the individual needs and experiences of neurodivergent children is essential when making decisions about their technology use

    Resources mentioned:

    • Meryl Alper’s website
    • Kids Across the Spectrums: Growing Up Autistic in the Digital Age by Meryl Alper (via MIT Press website)
    • Download / read the Introduction to Kids Across the Spectrum (PDF)
    • MIT Press open access version of Kids Across the Spectrum (digital only)
    • Meryl Alper on LinkedIn
    • Scratch
    • Wonder by R.J. Palacio

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    TPP 355: Dr. Sharon Saline on Understanding and Working with ADHD in Girls Jan 02, 2024
    Show notes

    You may have heard about the “lost generation of autistic women,” which refers to those women whose diagnoses were missed when they were younger because of the male gender bias in the diagnostic criteria. But that phenomenon doesn’t just apply to autism – the same thing goes for girls and ADHD. There’s actually been a lot written about this in recent years, including a popular 2020 article in The Guardian called The Lost Girls: Chaotic and Curious, Women with ADHD All Have Missed Red Flags That Haunt Us.

    It’s true that the stereotype of a kid with ADHD is that energetic, impulsive, disorganized boy. But in girls especially it can also look like perfectionism and having a hard time receiving feedback, forgetfulness, misreading social cues and struggling with friendships, drifting off, and inconsistency in schoolwork.

    In this episode, you’ll hear about why ADHD in girls often goes undiagnosed or misdiagnosed, what kind of ineffective coping strategies girls with ADHD may to hide their struggles, and what some of the early symptoms are and how to recognize them. We also talked about the challenges of how rejection sensitive dysphoria, which co-occurs in many people with ADHD, may impact girls, and ADHD burnout.

    About Dr. Sharon Saline

    Sharon Saline, Psy.D., clinical psychologist and author of the award-winning book, What Your ADHD Child Wishes You Knew: Working Together to Empower Kids for Success in School and Life and The ADHD solution card deck specializes in working with children, teens, adults and families living with ADHD, learning disabilities, twice exceptionality and mental health issues. With decades of experience as a clinical psychologist and educator/clinician consultant, she guides educators, clinicians, families and adults towards effective communication, closer connections and greater understanding. She lectures and facilitates workshops internationally on topics such as ADHD and neurodivergence, executive functioning, the anxiety spectrum, motivation, perfectionism and working with different kinds of learners.

    Things you’ll learn:

    • Why ADHD in girls often goes undiagnosed or misdiagnosed due to the different ways it presents compared to boys
    • How girls with ADHD may exhibit symptoms such as anxiety, depression, forgetfulness, difficulty listening, and problems with social interactions
    • Why girls with ADHD may develop ineffective coping strategies to hide their struggles, leading to challenges in school, relationships, and emotional regulation
    • Why early diagnosis and support is crucial for girls with ADHD to help them succeed academically, socially, and emotionally
    • The ways in which RSD (rejection sensitive dysphoria) can complicated social struggles for ADHD girls

    Resources mentioned:

    • Dr. Sharon Saline’s website
    • Sharon’s YouTube Channel
    • Sharon on Instagram
    • Sharon Facebook
    • What Your ADHD Child Wishes You Knew: Working Together to Empower Kids in School and Life by Dr. Sharon Saline
    • The ADHD Solution Card Deck: 50 Strategies to Help Kids Learn, Reduce Stress & Improve Family Connections (created by Dr. Sharon Saline)
    • Sharon Saline on What Our ADHD Kids Wish We Knew (Tilt Parenting Podcast)
    • Dr. Megan Anna Neff on RSD (Neurodivergent Insights)
    • Sharon Saline on RSD (Additude Today)
    • Dr. Donna Henderson and Dr. Sarah Wayland on Their Book Is This Autism? (Tilt Parenting Podcast)
    • Is This Autism? A Guide for Clinicians and Everyone Else by Dr. Donna Henderson and Dr. Sarah Wayland
    • The Lost Girls: Chaotic and Curious, Women with ADHD All Have Missed Red Flags That Haunt Us (The Guardian)

    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices


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