Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children

Latest Episodes:

TPP 365: Dr. Alok Kanojia Explains How to Raise Healthy Gamers Mar 12, 2024

Show notes

I married a gamer and my 19-year-old is also a gamer, so I’m no stranger to the reality of video games being a significant part of daily life. But where’s the line between healthy gaming and unhealthy gaming? How much gaming is too much? And when does a gaming habit evolve into gaming addiction?

These are some of the questions regarding screen time that I hear from many parents, and they highlight some of the ongoing challenges families face in raising children who can be responsible tech users and whose screen use and gaming doesn’t interfere with their lives in a way that can be harmful or keep them stuck.

So when I learned of the new book How to Raise a Healthy Gamer: End Power Struggles, Break Bad Screen Habits, and Transform Your Relationship with Your Kids by Dr. Alok Kanojia, I knew I wanted to invite him onto the show to talk about all things gaming with us.

In this conversation, we talked about how we as parents can know whether our child is addicted to video games or not, why screen time limits and restricting gaming time are at odds with the goal of raising a healthy gamer, and how to shift to a holistic approach that considers overall well-being and goal-setting. We also talked about why children with ADHD are more susceptible to addictive behaviors surrounding gaming and how to raise healthy gamers from a young age.

A packed episode that is a must-listen for any parenting whose child interacts with online or video games. Good, good stuff.

About Dr. Alok Kanojia

Dr. Alok Kanojia is a Harvard-trained psychiatrist specializing in the intersection of technology x mental health. Also known as ”Dr. K” to millions of people on the internet, Dr.Kanojia is the cofounder of Healthy Gamer, a mental health platform that serves the digital generation. He has inspired millions of people with online content while overseeing the mental health coaching of thousands of young people. He is widely regarded as the foremost expert on video game addiction and most prominent mental health authority for young people. When he’s offline, he’s usually traveling, gardening, or grilling with his family.

Things you'll learn:

How to determine if your child has a gaming addiction, and why it's important to trust your instincts
Why screen time limits and carrot and stick approaches surrounding a child’s gaming is at odds with the goal of raising a healthy gamer
Why children with ADHD are more susceptible to addictive behaviors surrounding gaming
The importance of engaging in open and non-judgmental communication with your child about their gaming habits and the impact it has on their life
How to shift to a holistic approach that considers overall well-being and goal-setting
Ideas for proactively creating healthy gaming habits with younger children

Resources mentioned:

Healthy Gamer website
How to Raise a Healthy Gamer: End Power Struggles, Break Bad Screen Habits, and Transform Your Relationship with Your Kids by Dr. Alok Kanojia
Growing Up in Public: Coming of Age in a Digital World by Dr. Devorah Heitner
Dr. Devorah Heitner on Parenting Kids Growing Up in Public (Tilt Parenting Podcast)
Screenwise: Helping Kids Thrive (and Survive) in Their Digital World by Dr. Devorah Heitner

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TPP 114a: Nutritionist Jennifer Scribner on Ending the "Picky Eater Battles" Mar 08, 2024

Show notes

Nutritionist and author of the book "From Mac & Cheese to Veggies, Please" talks about how we can help our children overcome their picky eating habits.

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Visit Tilt Parenting
Take the free 7-Day Challenge
Read a chapter of Differently Wired
Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

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TPP 364: A Montessori Approach to Raising Neurodivergent Children, with Simone Davies & Junnifa Uzodike Mar 05, 2024

Show notes

Montessori is often thought of as an educational philosophy, but my guests for today’s episode, Simone Davies and Junnifa Uzodike, are committed to bringing Montessori into the home and guiding parents through the principles of Montessori to enhance their children's development and foster respectful relationships with their families and the world.

Over the years, I’ve learned how much alignment there is in the strength-based parenting approach we subscribe to in our community, where we see and respect our children as the unique humans they are, with the core principles of Montessori, which prioritizes meeting our children where they are and being a guide for them as they navigate their childhood.

So I invited Simone and Junnifa to come on the show to talk about how we can apply these Montessori principles to parenting our neurodivergent kids and some of the other concepts they write about in their lovely new book, The Montessori Child: A Parent's Guide to Raising Capable Children with Creative Minds and Compassionate Hearts.

About Simone Davies

Simone Davies is the author of The Montessori Toddler and co-author of The Montessori Baby and The Montessori Child books, comprehensive guides to raising children in a Montessori way.Simone is an AMI Montessori educator based in Amsterdam. She also has a popular blog, instagram and podcast “The Montessori Notebook” and is mother to two young adults. Simone currently runs parent-child Montessori classes in Amsterdam at her school Jacaranda Tree Montessori.

About Junnifa Uzodike

Junnifa Uzodike is an AMI trained Montessori guide for the 0-3, 3-6 and 6-12 levels. She is the co-author of The Montessori Baby and The Montessori Child book with Simone Davies. She is also the founder and head of school at Fruitful Orchard Montessori in Abuja, Nigeria. Since discovering Montessori in 2011, Junnifa has continued to build her knowledge and experience in child development using Montessori principles. She has three children whom she has raised using Montessori principles from birth. Junnifa’s Montessori work includes guiding children at Fruitful Orchard, mentoring teachers and closest to her heart is supporting parents in implementing Montessori from birth. She inspires parents around the world to bring Montessori into their lives by sharing her Montessori journey and offering courses and other resources via her blog.

Things you'll learn:

What the philosophy of Montessori is and the planes of development
Why the Montessori approach to parenting can be a good fit for neurodivergent children
How to raise children who have a strong moral compass
The role of family agreements to reduce conflict and support healthy family dynamics
What scaffolding looks like in Montessori when helping children expand their sense of capability and responsibility

Resources mentioned:

Simone Davies’ website, The Montessori Notebook
Junnifa Uzodike’s website, Nduoma Montessori
The Montessori Child: A Parent's Guide to Raising Capable Children with Creative Minds and Compassionate Hearts by Simone Davies and Junnifa Uzodike
The Montessori Toddler: A Parent's Guide to Raising a Curious and Responsible Human Being by Simone Davies
The Montessori Baby: A Parent's Guide to Nurturing Your Baby with Love, Respect, and Understanding by Simone Davies and Junnifa Uzodike
The Montessori Notebook on Instagram
Nduoma Montessori on Instagram
Simone Davis on Montessori and Differently Wired Children (Tilt Parenting Podcast)
The Power of Empathy and Staying Calm in Difficult Situations (podcast episode with Simone Davies)
Setting Up Your Home to Support Your Child’s Growth (podcast episode with Simone Davies)

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TPP 109a: Author and entrepreneur Jonathan Fields on How to Live a Good Life Mar 01, 2024

Show notes

Author, entrepreneur, and founder of the Good Life Project Jonathan Fields talks about his book "How to Live a Good Life: Soulful Stories, Surprising Science and Practical Wisdom."

Connect with Tilt Parenting

Visit Tilt Parenting
Take the free 7-Day Challenge
Read a chapter of Differently Wired
Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

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TPP 363: Emily Ladau on Demystifying Disability: What to Know, What to Say, and How to be an Ally Feb 27, 2024

Show notes

A theme we often touch upon on this show is how the discourse surrounding neurodivergence and the language used when referring to neurodivergence is ever-evolving. I’ve observed on social media and in other spaces how conversations about terminology can be confusing, divisive, alienating, and complicated to navigate. Disability is one of those terms that can be uncomfortable for some people, including parents of neurodivergent kids, to embrace, but my hope is that this conversation will help you have a deeper understanding of what it means to be disabled, how ableism shows up and hurts all members of the disability community, including our kids, and how we can be better allies in the disability

To talk about this, I invited disability rights activist and writer Emily Ladau onto the show. Emily wrote a wonderful book called Demystifying Disability: What to Know, What to Say, and How to be an Ally, and in today’s conversation, we explore some of the core ideas in her book. As always, we covered a lot of ground in this episode, including what it actually means to be disabled, why the euphemism “special needs” is problematic for many people, how ableism is normalized in our society, disability etiquette do’s and dont’s to keep in mind for future interactions, and so much more.

About Emily Ladau

Emily Ladau is a passionate disability rights activist, writer, storyteller, and digital communications consultant whose career began at the age of 10, when she appeared on several episodes of Sesame Street to educate children about her life with a physical disability. Her writing has been published in outlets including The New York Times, CNN, Vice, and HuffPost and her first book, Demystifying Disability: What to Know, What to Say, and How to be an Ally, was published by Ten Speed Press, an imprint of Penguin Random House, in September 2021. Emily has spoken before numerous audiences, from the U.S. Department of Education to the United Nations. Central to all of Emily’s work is harnessing the power of storytelling to engage people in learning about disability.

Things you'll learn from this episode

The difference between models of disability, including the medical, social, and charity model
Why it’s critical that we recognize and address internalized ableism in order to promote inclusivity
What intersectionality is and ways disability intersects with other marginalized identities
What should be considered when looking at accommodations and accessibility when meeting the diverse needs of individuals
Do’s, don’t’s and best practices when it comes to disability etiquette

Resources mentioned for Demystifying Disability: What to Know, What to Say, and How to be an Ally

Emily Ladau’s website
Demystifying Disability: What to Know, What to Say, and How to be an Ally by Emily Ladau
The Accessible Stall (Emily’s podcast)
Words I Wheel By (Emily’s Facebook page)
Emily on Instagram
Emily on LinkedIn
Tyler Fedder (Illustrator)
D’Arcee Neal
The Platinum Rule

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TPP 108a: Dr. Laura Anderson on Gender Noncomformity and Differently Wired Kids Feb 23, 2024

Show notes

Clinical child and family psychologist Dr. Laura Anderson talks about gender noncomformity in children and explores the link between autism and gender dysphoria and gender fluidity.

Connect with Tilt Parenting

Visit Tilt Parenting
Take the free 7-Day Challenge
Read a chapter of Differently Wired
Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

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TPP 362: Dr. Chris Wells Explains the Theory of Positive Disintegration Feb 20, 2024

Show notes

I have such a fascinating conversation for you today. A few months ago, I heard about something called the Theory of Positive Disintegration — a theory created by K. Dabrowski, whose name I was familiar with because of his bringing attention to the idea that gifted children have inborn traits known as overexcitabilities – and I was instantly curious. Positive Disintegration – what does that mean exactly? It sounded complicated, and good, but also messy. So I wanted to know more.

That’s when I learned of the work of Dr. Chris Wells, who is the founding president of the Dąbrowski Center and who is dedicated to sharing knowledge and resources about this profound theory and the psychology of giftedness.

I invited Chris on the show to explore the Theory of Positive Disintegration with us, and fortunately for all of us, they said yes. And I will just say upfront — there is a lot that goes into understanding this theory and the implications it has for our differently wired children. So in today’s episode, we are only scratching the surface of this theory. But I am so excited for the opportunity to share this conversation because I believe this fascinating framework has the potential to offer a new perspective on neurodivergence and mental health that is important for families in our community to explore.

One last thing, this episode includes mention of suicidality and suicide attempts, so if those are trigger topics for you, please take care of yourself while listening.

About Chris Wells

Chris Wells, PhD, LSW, is a neurodivergent writer, social worker, and Dąbrowski scholar with a passion for studying and applying the theory of positive disintegration. As the founding president of the Dąbrowski Center and co-host of the Positive Disintegration Podcast, Chris is dedicated to sharing knowledge and resources about this profound theory and the psychology of giftedness.Chris provides specialized consulting services to clinicians and educators internationally, delivering deep insights into positive disintegration and its practical applications. They also offer their unique blend of lived experience and professional expertise as an advocate and speaker for mental health awareness and suicide prevention. Chris lives with their partner and teenage son in Highlands Ranch, Colorado.

Things you'll learn:

What the Theory of Positive Disintegration is and how it offers an alternative perspective on mental health struggles
What the five domains of Dabrowski’s Overexcitabilities
How the connection between overexcitabilities and the autonomic nervous system can provide insights into nervous system regulation
How the Theory of Positive Disintegration fits in with traditional therapeutic modalities
How anxiety and depression might be signs of growth and development

Resources mentioned:

Chris Well’s substack Positive Integration
The Dabrowski Center
The Positive Disintegration Podcast
Dabrowski’s Overexcitabilities
“Mellow Out,” They Say. If I Only Could: Intensities and Sensitivities of the Young and Bright by Michael Piechowski
Michael Piechowski
Adults with Overexciteabilities Facebook Group
Living With Intensity: Understanding the Sensitivity, Excitability, and the Emotional Development of Gifted Children, Adolescents, and Adults edited by Dr. Susan Daniels and Dr. Michael Piechowski
Welcome to Positive Disintegration (Positive Disintegration Podcast)
Depression and Anxiety in Development (Positive Disintegration Podcast)
Positive Disintegration in Children and Adolescents (Positive Disintegration Podcast)
Disintegration and Neurodivergence (Positive Disintegration Podcast)

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TPP 099a: Barry Prizant Talks About His Book "Uniquely Human" Feb 16, 2024

Show notes

In this episode of the Tilt Parenting Podcast, I have a powerful and thoughtful conversation with Dr. Barry Prizant, one of the world’s leading authorities on autism. Barry is recognized as an innovator of respectful, person- and family-centered approaches for individuals with autism and neurodevelopmental disabilities. He has more than forty years of experience as a scholar, researcher, and international consultant, and he’s an adjunct professor at Brown University, a certified speech-language pathologist and director of Childhood Communication Services, a private practice.

Barry is also the author of the must-read book Uniquely Human: A Different Way of Seeing Autism, which suggests a major shift in our understanding of autism. Instead of classifying “autistic” behaviors as signs of pathology, he sees them as part of a range of strategies to cope with a world that feels chaotic and overwhelming. As you listen to our conversation, you’ll know exactly why I was so excited to bring Barry onto the show. He is at the forefront of the revolution in helping to change the way neurodiversity is perceived in the world and frankly I’m just so grateful there are people like him in the world doing this critical work. I hope you enjoy the episode.

THINGS YOU’LL LEARN FROM THIS EPISODE:

Barry’s personal story for how he came to be doing this work
How things can change for autistic kids when we reframe and view their “behavior” through a new lens
The relationship between trust and emotional regulation
Barry’s perspective on the use of language such as “high-functioning” and “low-functioning” autism
Why words like “oppositional” and “noncompliant” in relation to an autistic person’s behavior are usually completely off-mark
The very real cost of pathologizing autism
Barry’s powerful ideas for how he is trying to shift thinking around the way autism is perceived
What should our goals be with regards to the long-term vision for our autistic children?
The story behind Barry’s book Uniquely Human

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

Barry Prizant’s website
Uniquely Human: A Different Way of Seeing Autism by Dr. Barry Prizant
The S.C.E.R.T.S. Model

Connect with Tilt Parenting

Visit Tilt Parenting
Take the free 7-Day Challenge
Read a chapter of Differently Wired
Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

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TPP 361: Margaret Webb on Archetypes and the Hero's Journey in Parenting Feb 13, 2024

Show notes

It’s been a little while since Margaret Webb, my absolute favorite parenting coach and the lead parenting coach in the Differently Wired Club, was on the show, but I’m so so so excited to have her one to talk about much anticipated book, Hero’s Journey in Parenting: Parenting the Child You Didn’t Expect While You Were Expecting. Margaret is a certified Master Life Coach, parenting coach, nature-based coach, former elementary school teacher, wife, and mother of a now 20-year-old autistic son. I’ve personally experienced first-hand how deeply and profoundly Margaret’s approach can support parents raising neurodivergent kids, and so I’m truly thrilled that she’s making her insights and learning available to the rest of in her new book.

While we couldn’t explore all the transformational concepts in Margaret’s new book, I did my best to touch upon some of the biggies, including the power in reframing parenting as a hero’s journey, how incorporating archetypes such as the queen/king, child, warrior, and community builder into our framework can provide valuable perspectives and tools for parenting, why recognizing and addressing shadow forces, such as limiting beliefs and unhelpful patterns, can lead to personal growth and more effective parenting. We also discussed why it’s so crucial to understand a child's developmental age in a given moment and how it can help parents tailor their approach and better meet their child's needs.

And honestly, a lot more. This is one of those episodes you’ll probably want to listen to more than once. And then you’ll want to get Margaret’s book. It’s really that good.

About Margaret Webb

Margaret Webb is a certified Master Life Coach, parenting coach, nature-based coach, former teacher, wife and mother. As a life and parenting coach, she weaves together her experience as an elementary education teacher with the tools she’s learned in Martha Beck’s Life Coach Training, Sagefire Institute’s Nature-Based Coach Training, and what she’s applied to her own life as a mom of a now 20-year-old son with special needs.

Things you'll learn:

Parenting is a hero's journey, and it is important to approach it with curiosity, playfulness, and a willingness to learn and grow.
How using archetypes, such as the queen/king, child, warrior, and community builder can provide valuable perspectives and tools for parenting.
Recognizing and addressing shadow forces, such as limiting beliefs and unhelpful patterns, can lead to personal growth and more effective parenting.
Understanding a child's developmental age in a given moment can help parents tailor their approach and better meet their child's needs.

Resources mentioned:

Margaret Webb’s website
Margaret on Facebook
Margaret on Instagram
Hero’s Journey in Parenting: Parenting the Child You Didn’t Expect While You Were Expecting by Margaret Webb
Parenting the Child You Didn’t Expect When You Were Expecting, with Margaret Webb (Tilt Parenting Podcast)
Margaret Webb on What to Do When Grandparents Don’t Understand Our Child (Tilt Parenting Podcast)
Margaret Webb on How to Get Through the Most Difficult Moments With Our Kids (Tilt Parenting Podcast)
Margaret Webb Shares Tools and Mindsets for Surviving the Summer Break (Tilt Parenting Podcast)
Byron Katie’s The Work

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TPP 103a: Margaret Webb On How to Get Through the Most Difficult Moments With Our Kids Feb 09, 2024

Show notes

Parenting coach Margaret Webb shares her best strategies for dealing with our children's intense and explosive behavior, both in the moment and in the aftermath.

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