Freedom from Attachment

Latest Episodes:

#820: Having A Hard Time? Sep 03, 2025

Show notes

Having a hard time? Yeah, everybody goes through hard times. You're not alone. But here's what gets lost when life feels like a shit show: kindness to yourself. Not the bullshit "be kind to your neighbor" stuff—real kindness to YOU. When everything's falling apart, we get lost in all the circumstances and stories instead of asking: How can I be kind to myself right now? Most of us can think those thoughts, but actually feeling it and living it? That's the hard part. In this episode, Tracy explores: * Why we exhaust ourselves beating up on ourselves during hard times * How avoidance and numbness keep us stuck in struggle * The difference between problem-solving and actual self-compassion * Why being honest about where you are IS kindness * How small promises to yourself create real change "It's not about the tenacity to get to the goal, it's actually the tenacity to be kind to yourself. The tenacity meaning staying on track." ~ Tracy Crossley

#819: Are You Still Forcing Sh** to Happen? Aug 27, 2025

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Are you exhausted from trying to make everything happen? From kicking down doors and forcing your way into opportunities that never quite pan out? Stop. Just stop. You think you're being proactive, but you're actually running from yourself. Every time you force something—a relationship, a job, a business opportunity—you're telling the universe you don't trust it to deliver. You're saying you're not enough as you are. In this episode, Tracy explores: * Why forcing comes from not believing in yourself * How attachment keeps you stuck in patterns of scarcity and desperation * The difference between taking action and forcing outcomes * Why avoidants struggle to value what they already have * How to break the cycle of work hard → fail → repeat "When you force, you're never emotionally available. I was forcing because I thought that would open a door that would bring what was missing, but it never did." ~ Tracy Crossley

#818: Approval Seeking Avoidants Aug 19, 2025

Show notes

Are you stuck in your comfort zone, waiting for someone or something to rescue you from yourself? You're not alone. So many of us live in what Tracy calls "the box"—that familiar prison where we feel safe but never truly alive. We tell ourselves we don't need approval. We act like we don't give a shit what anyone thinks. But deep down? We're still waiting. Waiting for the right person to make it safe. Waiting for the universe to send a sign. Waiting for someone else to take the emotional risk first. In this episode, Tracy explores: * Why seeking approval keeps you trapped in avoidance patterns * How "safe" actually means familiar (and why that's dangerous) * The difference between avoiding life and living in flow * Why emotionally risky action is the only path to freedom * How to break free from your own fucking prison, one small step at a time "You have to create your own safety. And stepping forward and taking an emotionally risky action is the only way that you live a life where you feel it's full of joy and happiness." ~ Tracy Crossley

#617: How To Stay In The Flow As An Avoidant Aug 06, 2025

Show notes

Are you exhausted from forcing everything to happen? From pushing through goals that leave you feeling empty once you reach them? Most avoidants live like they're perpetually on fire—reacting, controlling, forcing outcomes because "easy" feels dangerous. But here's the thing: all that forcing keeps you from the very flow state that would actually get you where you want to go. In this episode, Tracy explores: * Why ease feels dangerous when you're avoidant * The difference between forcing and allowing * How perfectionism keeps you stuck in empty cycles * Sitting with discomfort instead of reacting * Recognizing when you're escaping versus flowing "When you're forcing, you're coming from a state of lack. You can't force a healthy relationship. You can't force anything meaningful. But we keep trying because we're afraid to let go of the false building we've created that everyone can admire." ~ Tracy Crossley

#816: The Truth About The Accidental A$$hole Jul 31, 2025

Show notes

Do you crave connection but keep everyone at arm's length? You might be what Tracy calls an "accidental asshole." You're not trying to be a jerk. You built that wall as a kid to survive. But now it's blocking the very thing you want most. You date with one foot in, one foot out. You need drama to feel anything. When someone actually wants to love you? Boring. Or terrifying. Stop waiting for someone who won't trigger you. That person doesn't exist. The work is dealing with the discomfort of letting someone in. In this episode, Tracy explores: * Why you need tension to feel attraction * How the "perfect person" fantasy keeps you unavailable * Why you get pissed when you actually get attached * Why you contact exes months later * How to feel without the protective facade "Emotionally available people do not seek out unavailability." ~ Tracy Crossley

#815: Find Your Spark; Get The Love You Want! (REBROADCAST) Jul 10, 2025

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Are you fun? Do you have a spark in your eye or are you just a sad sack? You put on your dating face. Your interview face. You're all excited and lighthearted at first. Then what the fuck happens? You turn serious. You start complaining. You focus on what's not happening instead of asking yourself - does this actually work for me? If your happiness depends on external circumstances, you are screwed. In this episode, Tracy explores: * Why we go from fun to fucking serious when expectations aren't met * How much you complain about the person or job (that's your clue) * What happens when you lose your sense of humor * Why everything doesn't have to be your way * How to stop sacrificing your wellbeing for stories in your head "You have a choice. You do. Stop giving up your happiness in favor of trying to change someone else or feeling stuck in a prison you made." ~ Tracy Crossley

#814: "F" Stress (REBROADCAST) Jul 03, 2025

Show notes

Shit happens. That's life. But here's the thing—just because life throws curveballs doesn't mean you have to marry the stress that comes with them. Tracy gets raw and real about her own recent struggles. Unexpected life events. Emotional turmoil. The guilt that creeps in when you think you should have it all figured out by now. Sound familiar? In this episode, Tracy explores: * Why we choose to stay married to stress instead of divorcing it * How guilt keeps you trapped in emotional patterns that don't serve you * The difference between experiencing stress and becoming it * Why your business (and life) suffers when you can't separate yourself from your circumstances A practical exercise to help you release the stress you've been carrying Plus, Tracy walks you through a real-time stress relief exercise. Because sometimes you need tools, not just insights. "I don't need to be married to the stress just because shit is happening doesn't mean I need to be stressed by it." ~ Tracy Crossley

#813: No BS Podcast Jun 18, 2025

Show notes

Tired of the endless cycle of self-help promises that never deliver? You consume podcast after podcast, read book after book, seeking that magic formula for perfection. But here's the truth nobody wants to tell you: you're chasing a fantasy. The "fake Candyland bullshit goal" is what's making you feel like crap about yourself. One day you're on top of the world, the next you're spiraling. What changed? You're still you. Stop waiting for external validation to feel okay. You already have everything you need inside you—you just don't know how to access it yet. In this episode, Tracy explores: * Why seeking validation instead of actual help keeps you stuck * How victimhood and living in your head sabotage real growth * The difference between knowing something and actually living it * Why beating yourself up over past "mistakes" never brings peace * How to stop giving your power away to the "wishing and hoping farm" "The reality is if someone broke up with you, they broke up with you for their own reasons. That's how it works. If I have a problem with somebody, it's because of me and how I look at something." ~ Tracy Crossley

#812: Rules in Relationships: WTF is Compromise? (REBROADCAST) Jun 11, 2025

Show notes

Do you find yourself saying things like "we can only talk once a week" or "it's too late to make plans now"? You might be disguising control as boundaries without even realizing it. Here's the truth: rigid rules in relationships come from fear. Fear of being taken advantage of. Fear of losing control. Fear of trusting the flow between you and another person. In this episode, Tracy explores: * Why rules are really about control, not protection * The difference between boundaries and rigid demands * What you're actually afraid of when you won't compromise * How authenticity creates real connection * Why middle ground doesn't mean losing yourself "Rules are not the path to developing deeper connections with people. When you are authentic and speak your truth, you can compromise without sacrificing yourself or your values." ~ Tracy Crossley

#811: The Desire to Bolt Jun 03, 2025

Show notes

Are you physically avoiding someone in your own home? Running to another room when you hear their footsteps? Your body knows what your mind tries to rationalize away. Sometimes we find ourselves in situations where our nervous system screams "danger" even when logically we know we're safe. Tracy gets brutally honest about living with her narcissistic mother and the physiological response that has her literally hiding in her own house. In this episode, Tracy explores: * Why your body reacts before your mind catches up * How childhood patterns show up in adult responses * Living with toxic family members who gaslight * The difference between intellectual awareness and emotional healing "We don't really change unless it's going to benefit us in some way." ~ Tracy Crossley

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