Freedom from Attachment

Latest Episodes:

#688 What Avoidants and Anxious Avoidants Don’t Know Jan 17, 2023

Show notes

Are you searching for a unicorn? I’m talking about someone whose specialness makes everything in life seem amazing. Someone you are (and forever will be) attracted to, who will never upset you or trigger you, who you’ll always have a deep physical connection with. Like unicorns themselves, this romantic idea you’re invested in is a fantasy. Love exists with another human who is flawed by nature. In this week’s episode we’ll look at what keeps you searching for unicorns (if you’re an Avoidant or Anxious Avoidant, pay particular attention). The kind of “perfect” love you’re looking for is only in the pages of a fairy tale. It’s a place where pain doesn’t exist… which is where many Avoidants like to live. You can continue searching for what is unrealistic, or you can look inside and deal with whatever emptiness, pain, and anxiety you’re feeling. Because unconditional love does exist. It’s just different from what you’re looking for.

#687 Moving On to a Healthy and Thriving Life! with Kieve Huffman Jan 11, 2023

Show notes

Kieve is the founder and CEO of Engager Brands, where he combines music and cannabis to create authentic lifestyle brands like Heavy Grass, Neon Roots, and Clown Cannabis. Each has roots in music and resonates with the communities that align with them. With more than 25 years of experience in the music, cannabis and tech industries, Kieve leverages his knowledge and industry relationships to create these unique, cutting-edge brands. He was one of the founders of the leading cannabis media company, PRØHBTD Media, which built the first multi-platform video network. Join me for a spirited conversation about mindset and motivation as Kieve shares the secret sauce for his unique brand of success. www.engagerbrands.com https://www.linkedin.com/in/kievehuffman/

#686 That Narcissist Ruined My Life! Jan 10, 2023

Show notes

Labeling someone as a narcissist (or dysfunctional or whatever) often comes from a place of pain and lack. They hurt you, so you want to feel superior, but blaming them for the way they are and the way they treat you doesn’t boost your self-worth. It may temporarily feel good, but that puts you in the position of victim, and victimhood is powerless. In this week’s podcast we’ll look at how to let go of the idea that they’re a monster and you’re their victim. “Diagnosing” them gives you a sense of control, but you do yourself a disservice when you look for fault in others instead of taking responsibility for the decisions you make. It can feel crappy to admit you CHOSE this person, but it’s also empowering because that means you can make a different choice. You can make small, loving choices toward you.

#685 Ignoring Red Flags Because You See the Good (REBROADCAST) Jan 03, 2023

Show notes

Yes, there is good in all of us. But that doesn’t mean you should ignore red flags in a relationship because you want to see the good in people. And it certainly doesn’t mean it’s your job to make those red flags go away; to shine that diamond in the rough! When you tell yourself what an amazing person you are for seeing the good in someone, that’s your ego talking. It’s the false part of yourself seeing the false part of others. And it’s totally rooted in insecure attachment. Emotionally healthy people don’t sacrifice their own wellbeing for others. When you believe this martyr story and ignore or excuse red flags, you sell yourself short. You do NOT deserve a “broken” person who needs rescuing. That road leads to unhappiness because it’s an impossible journey, and you’ll never find what you’re looking for. Focusing on the other person means you’re avoiding yourself. In today’s podcast we’ll explore this story we tend to create, and how to change it. Ignoring red flags doesn’t make you noble. Let’s dispel that belief so you can shift to the real work: the work that begins with you. WISDOM NUGGET (#wisdomnugget) You are your own red flag. Surrender to reality, stop the story and be that hero for yourself.

#684 You Are Not Worthless. How To Change Your Tune! (REBROADCAST) Dec 27, 2022

Show notes

Go ahead, buy that car. You’re worth it. Your well-earned promotion will finally show people you have arrived. How do you measure your worth? Is it by what other people label as important, or what you feel inside? Will chasing money, fame and success make you feel worthy and valued? Of course not. Some of the most successful people in the world have an enormous sense of lack, believing more accolades will eventually fill them up. Intellectually you know fulfillment doesn’t work this way, yet your subconscious still searches for validation over the next mountain. So where does your internal value come from? Much of it is learned in childhood from your parents’ feelings of worthlessness. Yep, it’s passed down, so to speak, through the generations. Of course you didn’t know this as a kid; you simply modeled their behavior and emotional responses. And instead of seeing the problem as theirs, you believed something was wrong with you. In today’s podcast we’ll look at how we search for worthiness externally, and how to cultivate it internally. Everything you avoid takes away your worth, so start by accepting where you are right now—even if you feel utterly worthless. Then, let resistance be your guide. What you most resist is often the pathway to a more fulfilling life. Join my FREE Facebook Group for free monthly challenges and ongoing support from me and my coaches: bit.ly/2WRdKBt

#683 Moving On to a Healthy and Thriving Life! with Treva Brandon Scharf Dec 22, 2022

Show notes

As a self-proclaimed late bloomer, it took Treva Brandon Scharf longer than most to find her direction in life. After attending multiple colleges, Treva moved from Beverly Hills to New York, then back to LA, racking up a string of relationships she was never fully committed to. It wasn’t until she hit her 40s that she realized she forgot to get married and have kids (oops). Join Treva as she shares her unconventional journey in love and life, going from copywriter to personal trainer to life coach, and from single to married for the first time at the age of 51. After years of trying to find a partner, Treva reveals what eventually led her to her husband. Today she writes about surviving singledom and finding love later in life on her blog, The Late Blooming Bride. She is also a dating coach, speaker, and podcast host. “Here is the key to the kingdom; this is the magic: surrender.” —Treva Brandon Scharf Learn more about Treva at: Website: https://trevabrandonscharf.com/ Instagram: @trevabme Twitter: @trevabme Facebook: http://facebook.com/treva.brandonscharf LinkedIn: http://linkedin.com/in/trevabrandonscharf

#682 Breaking the Toxic Anxious-Avoidant Relationship Cycle (REBROADCAST) Dec 20, 2022

Show notes

The same dance happens all the time in unhealthy relationships between an anxious and an avoidant. The anxious struggles with self-value so they perform: see me, pay attention to me! This neediness causes the avoidant to run. But then, when the avoidant is away, they miss their anxious partner. They want to feel that “closeness” again so the avoidant returns and the whole cycle goes on repeat with the anxious clinging and the avoidant running. The anxious partner tends to blame the avoidant for problems in the relationship because THEY did the leaving. Anxious see themselves as the emotional ones while their avoidant partners are robots. In truth, the anxious person is avoiding too. They are avoiding their feelings and avoiding responsibility. Both parties want control, blaming the other person so there is a winner and a loser. Where is the love in that?? In this week’s podcast we’ll dig into attached relationships driven by fear and anxiety. There are no winners and losers here—only losers. Whether you are the anxious or avoidant partner, learn how to break the cycle by focusing on yourself so you change the way you show up in relationships. There IS a better way! WISDOM NUGGET (#wisdomnugget) Whether you are anxious or avoidant, it is about YOU, not the other person. And since it IS you, you can change your relationships NOW. Join my FREE Facebook Group for free monthly challenges and ongoing support from me and my coaches: bit.ly/2WRdKBt

#681 I Adore You, I Want You in My Life (but Only as a Friend, Not a Lover!) Dec 13, 2022

Show notes

Let me set the scene: You’re dating someone and feel this incredible connection. Maybe you sleep together. Then, seemingly out of nowhere they say, “I adore you but I can’t give you what you want and hope we can hang out as friends.” Gut punch. It’s incredibly painful, especially when you thought things were going well. But what’s even more painful? Going along with it. You’re afraid that if you leave, you’ll lose your one and only chance at a relationship (hello, scarcity). Plus, when you do hang out “as friends,” maybe they hold your hand or give you some other mixed message that keeps you hanging on. But when you choose to stay, you wait for a someday that may never come while anger and frustration build. So folks, that’s what we’re talking about in this podcast—why this happens and what to do if you find yourself in this situation.

#680 Moving On to a Healthy and Thriving Life! with Suzanne Adams Dec 07, 2022

Show notes

As a kid, Suzanne wanted to be famous. So it’s fitting that today she lights up whenever she’s on stage, inspiring people to reach their highest potential. But, of course, there was a dark area in between. When she had her heart broken at age 16, a wall went up that wouldn’t come down for many years. Instead of feeling her emotions, Suzanne waited for the clock to strike 5pm every day so she could pour a glass of wine. But in 2013, while waiting for 5pm to roll around, she had an awakening. “When you plug into infinite possibilities and let something bigger than you move through you, you will radiate.” --Suzanne Adams Join me as Suzanne shares her life before and after 2013, including an entire year that she dedicated to loving herself. Feeling alive and activated, she started learning about feminine and masculine energy and how to balance them. Today she is a thought leader in personal development, energetics and leadership. Suzanne’s latest book “Quantum Vibes” (inspired by her TEDx talk) demonstrates how the confluence of the Law of Attraction, spirituality and science can deliver contentment and success. Learn more about Suzanne: https://suzanneadamsinc.com/ Grab some free gifts: https://suzanneadamsinc.com/free-gift/

#679 Santa Claus F’d Us Up! Dec 06, 2022

Show notes

Growing up, did you have to people-please and perform to earn your spot on Santa’s “nice” list? For many of us, we learned that gifts had to be earned, and there wasn’t much room for a good person who screwed up sometimes (i.e. a regular ol’ human). We were labeled as either good or bad, worthy or unworthy. For a jolly fellow, there sure were a lot of strings attached. And we got the pleasure of carrying those beliefs into our actual relationships—who needs that gift? The point of this podcast isn’t to villainize Santa, but rather to acknowledge how our childhood impacts our current relationships so we can identify patterns of behavior. As kids, we bought into those stories about what we deserved and where to look for validation (under the Christmas tree), but as adults, we get to challenge—and change—them.

Our TOPPODCAST Picks

Follow Us

Stay Connected

Related Podcasts

Links

Stay Connected