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Episode Summary Like people, ideas have histories, even when we’re not aware of them. Living in an age of uniquely advanced science and technology, we don’t always perceive how our allegedly most rational beliefs can actually be based on ancient legends and stories. That certainly appears to be the case with many Western medical and psychological beliefs about women’s health, sexuality, and pain.From the Garden of Eden myth casting childbirth as a curse to Greek philosophers describing women as inverted men, these cultural frameworks have deeply influenced how female bodies are perceived, researched, and treated. For generations, women’s pain was normalized, their pleasure dismissed, and their experiences left out of medicine altogether.My guest today, Suzannah Weiss, has been writing and speaking about these issues for years. In her first book Subjectified(which we discussed on Theory of Change last year), she explored how women are socialized to see their sexualities through the lens of shame and stigma. Now, in her new book Eve’s Blessing: Uncovering the Lost Pleasure Behind Female Pain, she takes on the cultural inheritance that tells women to expect suffering in their bodies, from menstruation to childbirth to sex itself.In our conversation, we trace how myths and religious teachings became medical dogma, how centuries of ignoring women’s health needs still show up in research gaps and dismissive doctors, and why ideas like the “orgasm gap” persist. We also talk about what happens when women push back—when they reclaim pleasure in childbirth, resist the narrative of inevitable period pain, or simply insist that their symptoms deserve serious attention.It’s a balancing act. Culture shapes the mind and how we live in our bodies. But it’s also true that how we think to our situation can affect how our bodies feel generally. Pain and suffering are real–and so is pleasure. If old ideas can teach us to expect suffering, then perhaps new ideas can help us find joy, intimacy, and freedom.The video of this episode is available, the transcript is below. Because of its length, some podcast apps and email programs may truncate it. Access the episode page to get the full text. You can subscribe to Theory of Change and other Flux podcasts on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Podcasts, YouTube, Patreon, Substack, and elsewhere.Related Content—Women are discovering how to become a sexual subject rather than an object (Suzannah’s previous TOC appearance)—Why the right-wing freakouts about sorority dancing are about so much more—Reactionary gender messages are trying to poison kids’ minds, here’s what parents are doing in response—The ‘world’s oldest profession’ is attaining new relevance in the internet age—How Republicans became the party of misogynist online trolls—Science and sex are obviously different but what they have in common is why they’re both hated by reactionariesAudio Chapters00:00 — Introduction09:53 — The one-sex and two-sex models13:36 — Medical dismissal of women’s pain20:50 — Suzannah’s personal health journey23:42 — Cognition as an embodied act34:39 — Contradictions in male attitudes toward female sexuality36:53 — Gender non-conformity and the myth of brokenness42:44 — Trauma and its physical manifestations50:17 — ‘Sexy but not sexual’58:10 — Mindfulness and body awarenessAudio TranscriptThe following is a machine-generated transcript of the audio that has not been proofed. It is provided for convenience purposes only.MATTHEW SHEFFIELD: And joining me now is Suzannah Weiss. Hey, Suzannah. Welcome back to Theory of Change.SUZANNAH WEISS: Hi. Thanks so much. I’m so glad to be back.SHEFFIELD: Yeah. So you’ve got another book out. The last time you were on, you were talking about your first book Subjectified, and this one is called Eve’s Blessing, which is about society and it’s particularly Western society, focusing on women’s pain and seeing it as sort of destination and inherent to women. Can you walk us through just kind of the origin of that belief in Western culture? Because that’s where you start the book off. And I think we should start off here with that.WEISS: Yeah, so my book is called Eve’s Blessing: Uncovering the Lost Pleasure Behind Female Pain [00:04:00]. And it’s about experiences of mine and other women of having their pain normalized, including period pain, childbirth, pain during sex, and even pain associated with chronic illness, along with what I call pleasure-lessness, meaning sex without an orgasm, sex without pleasure, even painful sex, and how this ties to different ideas, particularly the curse put on Eve in the Garden of Eden, and ‘thou shalt give birth in sorrow.’ And how in some religious communities, this is considered a curse, not just on childbirth, but on menstruation, even on first time sex. There, there’s, other parts of the Bible and I focus mainly on Judeo-Christian religions. like in Deuteronomy being, This passage about use blood on the sheets as a symbol of painful, of like virginity. the idea that sex for the first time is inherently painful and there’s a whole history behind that. The idea of the hymen, which is not actually like some medical professionals call it the vaginal corona because hymen is not.Really a, accurate term with the association we have with it is that it’s this seal that you need to break. And that’s not true. It’s just part of the vagina that naturally stretches. And yeah, there’s all these experiences women have had, I my own was dealing with various symptoms of chronic illness and being told that a lot of it was normal.Also, going on antidepressants and being told and having difficulty orgasming because of that. I’m being told a lot of women deal with that. Just use a vibrator. And, my book also shows how women are living the opposite life. That these ideas would suggest how women are [00:06:00] having pleasurable childbirth, pleasurable periods, pleasurable, orgasmic sex and pleasurable childbirth is a weird concept to many, but I interviewed a lot of women who indeed had this experience and, Yeah, just how we, underestimate like how good it can be to live in a female body, but thankfully women today are waking up to that.SHEFFIELD: Yeah, that’s right. And the idea though of women’s bodies as being somehow destined for pain obviously that’s, as you said, clearly a, genesis type, belief.But also, you talk about that there was that this belief was pretty common in, some, Greek cultural stories as well. in addition to the idea that, I, that women were sort of destined for pain the Eve, the Adam and Eve myth, it also is inherently blaming women for trying to get knowledge.Also, I think that’s worth talking about as well,WEISS: Yes, there’s actually, it’s really interesting today we have this idea that women are less sexual and more pure. And that actually arose around the 17 hundreds. And before that it was thought women are like lascivious and desirous because ate the apples.So women are hungry and curious and sin prone. So it is really interesting no matter what, we take from that story, we take something negative about women.SHEFFIELD: Yeah. Well, and then of course there is, and she’s not in the Bible, but of course there’s the, Lilith character as well within the Judaic legends as well.Right. You, review that for people who dunno the story. Yeah.WEISS: Well, our friend Kaitlyn Bailey talks about that in her show, Whore’s Eye View. She says Lilith was the one who wanted to fuck [00:08:00] Adam on top, and Adam was intimidated by her. So we went with Eve then. She represents the dark feminine, so she was the witch, the bitch and the whore.And, I think Jewish mythology and we, kind of cast out that aspect of women because we, demonize Lilith.SHEFFIELD: Well, literally in her case. And it’s hard for cultural historians to kind of pinpoint the amount of influence that her story had because she was cut out of the Bible.But there’s a lot of these extra-biblical characters who you see them crop up in art a fair amount over the Renaissance and even some medieval times. So these stories circulated even though they were not given canonical status.And, I think that there’s, that there’s reasons for that because they were meaningful.WEISS: I, I worked with a Jungian therapist last year who taught me something about Lilith because I kept telling her I was having psychedelic trips and dreams where I kept seeing a black snake. And she showed me this image, this painting of Lilith with a black snake wrapped around her, and it represented the dark feminine.And she suggested that was what I was accessing in the symbolic realm, was this dark, feminine figure that needed to be brought into the light.SHEFFIELD: I don’t know how much I buy into Jungian psychiatry, but that there is something there that, people do have these—there is something, I think to the idea that there, that ideas resonate because we do have common experiences as human beings and, I mean, that’s what this book is about.The one-sex and two-sex modelsBut you also do talk about just the idea [00:10:00] within Greek philosophy proper that that women were not quite even the same species. It seems like, when you look at as you do, talking about, some of the, ancient, the original doctors and things like that.Right. Tell us about that, if you would.WEISS: Yeah, so there’s a famous book called Making Sex by Thomas Laur that tracks, and some historians have challenged it because it’s not this simple, but what he argues basically is that from the time of the ancient Greeks, until around the 17 hundreds, scientists followed what’s called the One Sex Model where male and female bodies are considered basically the same.So the ancient Greek philosophers. Said things like, women are like, men turn inward, and women are like, women’s genitals are like mole’s eyes. They, they’re there but they don’t really have a function like mole’s. Eyes didn’t see. And so there was this idea that women were smaller men, or inferior men, or like inverted men.And it caused this gap in research where research. Was done primarily on men, and it was assumed to apply to women also. And we see this today, we see, for instance, certain health trends like intermittent fasting or high intensity interval training don’t work as well for women. And all the research is done on men and it doesn’t factor in things like the menstrual cycle in women’s hormones.And then on the flip side, around the 17 hundreds, due to a variety of political forces, specifically the Victorian era in England, saying that women were pure and Medford domesticity and also the, French Revolution saying, that women, [00:12:00] there was sort of a feminist movement, but then there was backlash saying women need to stay at home while the men are revolutionaries.And so all of these sort of, these factors, and then there were scientific discoveries, like the idea that actually women did not need to orgasm to have a child, which was actually not, widely believed around, the 16 or 17 hundreds that was discovered, that used to be believed that women like needed to orgasm, to conceive, and actually the clitoris was more valued.And so all these different factors led to what’s called the two sex model, where women and men are seen as opposites. And basically that contributes to ideas like the normalization of the orgasm gap that men can orgasm so easily and women cannot, or basically that men are made for pleasure and women are made for pain.So right now we, we see both of. The influence of both of these ideas. We see this research gap between, male and female bodies, and we also see where like women are assumed to be exactly like men. And we also see, this idea that men and women are opposites. And like, testosterone is this hormone that causes you to be really horny and angry, and estrogen causes you to be warm and nurturing, which isn’t the case.They both have many roles. And we also erase people outside the gender binary, intersex people, two-spirit people, et cetera. And that’s all tied in with colonialism. That’s my, like, that’s my two minute version of that whole story. Mm-hmm.Medical dismissal of women’s painSHEFFIELD: Yeah. Well, and yeah, and, absolutely like within the medical context it, it did, it was also that, that, as you talk about that, women’s.Pain was not believed to be real in some sense because, well, all the doctors were men. And so, when women were talking about, period pain or, various, [00:14:00] complications with pregnancy, they were not believed in some sense, right? Or just assumed, well, this is how it is. And, as, and as you talk about the pregnancy for at least for, for some women, not, we can’t say for everybody obviously, but for some women, they, they don’t see it as that way, as something, inherently or obviously destined to be painful.Right.WEISS: Yeah, there was a tension in writing this book between acknowledging women’s pain as real and also as not natural or inevitable. Because it is a reality today that many women live with period pain, that for most people giving birth, it is painful. And so I definitely don’t aim to invalidate that pain.My goal is to explore where it comes from and for instance, period pain. There’s not a ton of research, but there is some research tying it to things like household chemicals, things like the modern American diet. Things we kind of take for granted in society. Overworking, sedentary lifestyle stress.It’s kind of a, society-wide problem that is contributing to certain forms of pain, women experience, and of course un undiagnosed illnesses, misdiagnosed illnesses, lack of research on women, and, even childbirth. There is a lot of pain that is connected to childbirth, trauma to deprivation of choice, to unnecessary interventions, and to a medical system that prioritizes doctors’ interests that wants you to give birth as quickly as possible so the doctor can leave their shift, et cetera.And so, we need to both take women’s pain more seriously and also question where it comes from and whether it’s natural and whether we can do something so that it is not so common.SHEFFIELD: Mm-hmm. Well, and you do talk about, in that regard about how many doctors will push for women to [00:16:00] have, cesarean sections.Much more than they used to. And that, that, that does seem to be driven not necessarily by medical needs of the women, right? Or the people. Mm-hmm.WEISS: Yeah. Not just cesarean sections, but a lot of, inducing labor, for instance, Pitocin, which actually makes contractions more painful. episiotomies where there’s a cut made between the vagina and the anus are still sometimes done without consent, though less so now there are a lot of interventions that are done, like to prioritize the hospital’s interests or even they might, may not see it that way.It may be to be very careful. And, just, but the thing is, there is some research showing if a hospital has more than a 15% C-section rate, like there’s actually more maternal deaths and more complications. So there is this. Almost this patronizing view, like that women can’t give birth on their own or that they can’t give birth with just the amount of interventions that they decide on.And that actually backfires because like our bodies do have an innate wisdom and there is a lot of overprotection, excessive interventions that it can actually lead to more pain.SHEFFIELD: Mm-hmm. Yeah, and I mean it, but it is a balancing act as you’re saying earlier, that that pain is real. but, it doesn’t perhaps always necessarily have to be something that happens.Sometimes people cause it. And yeah, I mean, so there, there’s, now you, talk about, some of your own experiences in other women in regards to pain that, that. had been sort of forced on you and, others. So maybe talk about one of the [00:18:00] experiences of your own first, if you would please.And then maybe we can talk about some of the other ones.WEISS: So, I have not had. The experien…
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