Finding Direction

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**Finding Direction**

Finding Direction is a podcast where we help people who feel lost in life find direction. We interview the most passionate and fulfilled people and reverse engineer their life and get strategies, tactics and actionable steps our audience can apply to find direction.

Latest Episodes:

Episode 380: Purpose Simplified: Discovering and Embodying Your True Calling Daily Jul 13, 2023

Show notes

Purpose Simplified: Discovering and Embodying Your True Calling Daily

◾️If you had to bring your purpose to two or 3 words, what would it be?

◾️What are some vehicles where you can start living your purpose?

Stu's IG - @stumassengill

Episode 379: Embrace the Beauty of Stress: Living a Fear(less) Life with Dr. Rebecca Heiss Jul 11, 2023

Show notes

Dr. Rebecca Heiss is an evolutionary biologist and a stress physiologist who helps people live more fearless lives. Though her deep understanding of how evolution has shaped our brains, Dr. Heiss breaks down the barriers that hold us back and helps us to live lives of meaning and purpose by playing in an "all-in" mentality even when afraid. She also teaches audiences how to use stress as tools of empowerment.

In this episode, we talk about:

◾️What is stress? How can you start to use stress as a positive force in your life?

◾️Evolutionary biology and how it held you back in your life.

◾️The relationship between stress and living a purposeful life.

rebeccaheiss.com

Episode 378: Decision Time: 7 Steps To Make Decisions With Confidence Jul 06, 2023

Show notes

Decision Time: 7 Steps To Make Decisions With Confidence

Stu's IG - @stumassengill

Episode 377: Unlocking Extraordinary Love: Creating A Thriving Relationship with Dr. Stan Tatkin Jul 04, 2023

Show notes

In this episode, I interview Dr. Stan Tatkin, a therapist and developer of the Psycho-Biological Approach to Couples Therapy (PACT). We discuss various topics related to relationships, including the different phases of a relationship, advice for single individuals looking for a partner, maintaining curiosity and learning in a long-term relationship, creating a shared purpose and vision, and understanding attachment styles. Dr. Tatkin emphasizes the importance of commitment, communication, and understanding in building a loving and lasting relationship. He also highlights the need for individuals to understand their own needs and the needs of their partner.

What We Discuss:

Finding the Perfect Relationship [00:03:20] Dr. Stan Patterson advises making a list of what the perfect relationship would be, focusing on safety, security, and shared values.

Vetting Potential Partners [00:05:45] Dr. Patterson recommends being specific about relationship expectations and observing potential partners for signs of alignment with those expectations.

Neurobiology of Dating [00:09:17] Dr. Patterson explains how nature uses emotions to drive the procreation and continuation of the species, leading to the initial stages of dating being neurobiologically drugged.

The Excitement of New Love [00:10:31] Explains the initial phase of a relationship where the brain produces chemicals that make us feel excited and focused.

Automating the Other Person [00:12:03] Describes how as the relationship progresses, we start to automate the other person and make assumptions, leading to potential boredom and loss of attention.

Recognizing Familiarity and Disliking [00:14:32] Discusses the phase where we start to recognize familiar traits in the other person, both positive and negative, and how it affects the relationship.

Why are we and what's our purpose? [00:22:30] Discussion on the importance of understanding the purpose and goals of the relationship beyond just emotions.

Creating a shared vision and dealing with deal breakers [00:23:49] Exploration of the need to align on values, culture, and deal breakers to ensure a successful relationship.

Understanding attachment styles [00:30:17] Explanation of how attachment styles developed in childhood can impact how individuals react to stress and interact in relationships.

Island and its family culture [00:34:03] * The speaker discusses how the island's family culture prioritizes performance and appearances over relationships, leading to a fear of dependency and a need for independence.

Threatening behavior of an island [00:35:11] * The speaker explains how islands protect themselves by distancing and avoiding spending time with their partner, leading to feelings of anxiety and insecurity.

Understanding different attachment styles [00:36:14] * The speaker emphasizes the importance of understanding one's own attachment style and that of their partner to avoid causing harm and to create a secure and lasting relationship.

Episode Resources:

Dr. Stan Tatkin Instagram @ drstantatkin (Website)

Dr. Stan Tatkin Website (thepactinstitute.com)

Dr. Stan Tatkin's Best Selling Books (Website)

Episode 376: One Perspective To Change Your Whole Life Jun 29, 2023

Show notes

One Perspective To Change Your Whole Life

◾️Over the next 7 days, pick an area of your life where you feel like you're behind, and take the perspective shift of "I am exactly where I'm supposed to be right now."

Stu's IG - @stumassengill

Episode 375: The Forgiveness Gym with Dr. Robert Enright Jun 27, 2023

Show notes

In this episode of the Finding Direction podcast, I sit down with renowned forgiveness expert Dr. Robert Enright to explore the transformative journey of forgiveness. Dr. Enright shares his insights on how forgiveness can heal the negative effects of injustices and offers practical steps to embark on this path of healing.

But what exactly is forgiveness? According to Dr. Enright, it means being good to those who have not been good to you. He emphasizes the importance of recognizing our own vulnerabilities and the impact of past experiences on our internal world. From there, we can choose the path to healing, seeking support from friends, engaging in physical activities, or even therapy. Dr. Enright challenges traditional methods of healing and encourages us to consider the untried path of forgiveness.

Teaching children about forgiveness is also a crucial aspect of breaking the cycle of hurt in relationships. Dr. Enright shares his expertise on how to introduce forgiveness to children through stories and age-appropriate activities. By practicing forgiveness from a young age, children can develop a forgiving mindset and prepare themselves for the challenges they may face as adults.

If you're ready to start finding direction and experience the power of forgiveness, join me and Dr. Robert Enright on this enlightening podcast episode. Discover how forgiveness can heal, transform, and break the cycle of hurt in your life and relationships.

What We Discuss:

Introduction to Dr. Robert Enright [00:00:00] Dr. Robert Enright's background, his work in forgiveness, and his accomplishments in the field.

Importance of Forgiveness [00:03:32] The significance of forgiveness in healing from injustices and the negative effects of unjust treatment.

Process of Forgiveness [00:07:05] The steps involved in the process of forgiveness, including acknowledging the injustice, making a decision to heal, and expanding one's understanding of the person who caused the harm.

Recognizing the personhood of others [00:11:47] Understanding the importance of seeing others as individuals with their own experiences and emotions.

The process of forgiveness [00:12:48] Exploring the steps involved in the journey of forgiveness, including developing compassion and standing in the pain.

The impact of forgiveness on personal growth [00:14:02] Discussing how forgiveness can lead to a sense of purpose and a desire to help others, resulting in personal healing and growth.

Introducing Forgiveness to Children through Stories [00:22:04] Dr. Enright discusses the importance of teaching children about forgiveness through stories and curriculum guides.

The Global Impact of Forgiveness Education [00:23:11] Dr. Enright shares how forgiveness education is being implemented in over 30 countries, including areas with conflict like Belfast, Galilee, and Taiwan.

Dr. Enright's Journey into Forgiveness Research [00:26:21] Dr. Enright explains how he stumbled upon forgiveness as a research topic and the opposition he faced in academia before forgiveness gained recognition.

Dr. Robert Enright's books on forgiveness [00:34:44] Dr. Enright discusses his self-help books on forgiveness and how they can be helpful to those who want to walk the path of forgiveness.

Taking action to find direction through forgiveness [00:36:17] Dr. Enright suggests committing to do no harm to someone you're annoyed with as a way to start finding direction through forgiveness.

Celebrating a life that lights up your soul [00:37:37] The host congratulates the listeners for not settling for less and encourages them to celebrate a life that brings them joy and fulfillment.

Episode Resources:

Robert Enright's Forgiveness Website (Website)

Episode 374: How to Change Your Mood Instantly Jun 22, 2023

Show notes

Have you ever felt like you're stuck in a negative mood and can't seem to shake it off? In this episode of the Finding Direction podcast, I share valuable tips on how to change your mood instantly and improve your focus and physiology to achieve better results in life. I emphasize the importance of focusing on positive thoughts and engaging in physical activity to improve mood and mental health. I provide practical ways to use physiology to change your mood instantly, such as going for a walk, engaging in physical activity you enjoy, and listening to your favorite songs. Learning this skill can be a powerful tool in all areas of life, and I encourage you to give yourself grace and keep practicing until you can change your mood instantly. Tune in to this episode to learn how to take control of your mood and achieve your goals.

What We Discuss:

Introduction [00:00:00] Stu welcomes listeners to the Finding Direction podcast and introduces the topic of changing mood instantly.

Importance of Focus [00:03:12] Stu discusses the importance of focusing on positive thoughts and shifting focus away from negative thoughts to improve mood and achieve better results in life.

Using Your Body [00:08:47] Stu talks about the importance of engaging in physical activity to improve mood and mental health, and how motion equals emotion.

How to improve your mood [00:09:50] Stu discusses the importance of physical activity, such as going for a walk or engaging in a physical activity you enjoy, to improve mood and mental health.

Quick fix to change your mood [00:12:32] Stu shares a quick fix to change your mood instantly by putting on your favorite song and jamming out to it for 10-15 minutes.

Practice changing your mood [00:14:28] Stu encourages listeners to practice changing their mood by focusing on positive thoughts and engaging in physical activity, and to give themselves grace as they learn this new skill.

Episode Resources:

Stu's IG - @stumassengill

Finding Direction Instagram - (Profile)

Episode 373: The Science of Forgiveness with Dr. Everett Worthington Jun 20, 2023

Show notes

Have you ever struggled to forgive someone who has hurt you? In this episode of the Finding Direction podcast, I interview Dr. Everett Worthington, a leading expert on the topic of forgiveness. Dr. Worthington shares his insights on the importance of forgiveness and its impact on our physical and mental health, as well as our relationships. The most valuable lesson from this episode is that forgiveness is a choice, and it's crucial for our well-being to let go of negative emotions and replace them with positive ones.

Dr. Worthington introduces his REACH method for reaching forgiveness, which involves recalling the hurt, empathizing with the person who hurt us, giving an altruistic gift of forgiveness, committing to the forgiveness, and holding onto it. He also emphasizes the importance of self-forgiveness and taking responsibility for our actions.

The episode debunks common misconceptions about forgiveness, such as the idea that forgiveness stops justice or that it's only necessary if the person apologizes. Dr. Worthington's personal story is also shared, highlighting the importance of staying curious about our passions and reflecting on what drives us. Overall, this episode is a must-listen for anyone who wants to improve their well-being and relationships through the power of forgiveness.

What We Discuss:

Introduction [00:00:00] Stu Mason introduces the podcast and welcomes the guest, Dr. Everett Worthington, who is an expert on forgiveness.

Two types of forgiveness [00:03:32] Dr. Worthington explains the two types of forgiveness: decisional forgiveness and emotional forgiveness.

Effects of unforgiveness [00:07:49] Dr. Worthington talks about the negative effects of unforgiveness on physical and mental health, as well as relationships.

Blaming for Good and Bad [00:11:42] The importance of blaming someone for both the good and bad things they have done to us.

Forgiving Oneself [00:14:44] The importance of forgiving oneself and the negative effects of self-condemnation.

The Reach Method [00:17:29] Dr. Worthington's method for reaching forgiveness, which involves recalling the hurt, empathizing with the person who hurt us, committing to forgiveness, and holding onto that forgiveness.

Forgiveness and Justice [00:23:59] Dr. Worthington explains that forgiveness and justice are two different things and that forgiveness does not stop justice.

Misconceptions about Forgiveness [00:24:30] Dr. Worthington discusses the misconception that forgiveness is only necessary if the person apologizes and that forgiveness is a choice.

Dr. Worthington's Career Path [00:26:14] Dr. Worthington talks about his transition from nuclear engineering to counseling psychology and how he eventually became interested in forgiveness research.

Influential Graduate Students [00:35:49] Dr. Worthington talks about how his graduate students have influenced him as much as he has influenced them.

Self-Reflection and Passion [00:38:33] Dr. Worthington suggests that self-reflection and thinking about one's passion is important to find direction in life.

Importance of Forgiveness [00:40:40] Stu Mason encourages listeners to consider forgiveness and shares how it can bring peace and better quality of life.

Episode Resources:

Dr. Everett Worthington's Website (Website)

Dr. Everett Worthington's Books (Website)

Forgiveness Workbook: reach.discoverforgiveness.org

Episode 372: Unlocking The Magic of Flow: The Holy Land Jun 15, 2023

Show notes

Have you ever felt like everything in life is just falling into place, doors are opening, and you're filled with passion and happiness? That's what they call a state of flow, and it's something we all strive for. In this episode of the Finding Direction podcast, Stu Mason, the host, shares six things that I can do to unlock a state of flow in my life. The most valuable lesson from this podcast is to ask myself three questions: What is my inner voice telling me? What should I focus my energy on right now? And, what do I need to stop doing? By answering these questions, I can determine where my flow lies and start taking steps towards achieving it.

Once I've answered these questions, Stu provides five more steps to help me achieve a state of flow. These include setting clear goals, finding an optimal level of challenge, embracing a growth mindset, giving myself distraction-free time, and enjoying the process. Stu emphasizes that achieving flow is not just about the end result, but about the person I become in the process. So, I'll take these steps and apply them in my life to achieve flow and experience the benefits it brings. And, I won't forget to share this episode with friends who could benefit from these tips!

What We Discuss:

What is flow state? [00:02:09] Stu Mason defines flow state as a state of optimal experience where individuals are fully immersed in an activity, feeling focused, energized, and deeply engaged.

How to unlock flow state? [00:05:54] Stu Mason shares six things you can do to achieve a flow state, starting with getting clear with your inner voice through journaling or going somewhere peaceful to have a dialogue with yourself.

Questions to ask your inner voice [00:08:08] Stu Mason suggests asking three questions to your inner voice to start opening up the space of flow: "Where is my flow?", "What is blocking my flow?", and "What can I do to increase my flow?".

Finding Flow [00:10:20] Stu Mason discusses how to achieve a state of flow in life and the benefits it brings. He shares three questions to ask yourself to get into a state of flow.

Setting Clear Goals [00:13:19] Stu Mason talks about the importance of setting clear goals for the area where your flow lives. He gives an example of setting a goal for your career and breaking it down into manageable tasks.

Embracing a Growth Mindset [00:18:28] Stu Mason emphasizes the importance of embracing a growth mindset as you go through the process of finding your flow. He encourages continuous learning and growth.

Getting to know your inner voice [00:19:21] Tips on how to grow awareness of your inner voice and continuously improve yourself to get closer to your six-month goal.

Distraction-free time [00:20:17] The importance of giving yourself daily distraction-free time to focus on achieving your goals and how to do it.

Enjoying the process [00:22:13] The significance of enjoying the process of achieving your goals and how it can lead to a state of flow in life.

Episode Resources:

Stu's IG - @stumassengill

Episode 371: The 85 Year Scientific Study on Happiness with Marc Schulz Jun 13, 2023

Show notes

Marc Schulz is the associate director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development, the longest study done on happiness at about 85 years. He is also a professor of psychology and the director of Science Program and previously chaired the Psychology Department and the Clinical Developmental Psychology PhD Program at Bryn Mawr.

In this episode, we talk about:

◾️The biggest insights on how to live a good life from the studies they've done by following people for 85 years.

◾️The one thing you need to start doing immediately to increase your ability to live a good life.

◾️The surprising truth about money and living a good life, as well as the correlation between those two.

the-good-life-book.com

https://www.linkedin.com/in/marc-schulz-20663222a/