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Enlightened By Dogs: Living with Cooperation, Not Obedience — Kids & Family
Enlightened By Dogs: Living with Cooperation, Not Obedience

Welcome to our podcast where we dog moms discuss modern, enlightened dog parenting! Each week, we’ll take a dive deep into the human-dog connection and explore strategies that will inspire you to create connection and cooperation with your dog…no obedience training needed!

We meet up at the intersection where training and behavior meet Heart and Soul…and where we leave behind the ‘power over’ obedience training paradigm we inherited and lead the way to an enlightened ‘power with’ approach. Join us for an inspirational and educational journey as we explore what living in cooperative partnership with our beautiful dogs looks like in real life.

Brilliant Partners are kind, loving, calm, clear, confident, and cooperative … and when WE learn how to be a Brilliant Partner, our dogs do too.

Kathy Kawalec is an author, writer, the founder of Dancing Hearts Dog Academy and creator of the Brilliant Partners Academy, The Foundation Formula, Herding Partners Academy, and Creative Alchemy Passion Plan.

Latest Episodes:

EBD157 Extreme Behavior to Partnership with Stella Murrell May 17, 2021

Show notes

When it comes to reactive dog behavior, it can feel like you've tried just about everything, and nothing seems to work.

A reactive dog can put a huge strain on your relationships with your beloved pets. It can significantly impact the quality of a dog's life as well as your own.

Traditional training is what many people turn to. But if that doesn't work, what next?

The truth is, helping your dog isn't about forcing them to act differently. It's about opening your mind and looking at it from a different perspective.

Stella Murrell and her dog, Henna, came to the Brilliant Partners Academy (BPA) around 18 months ago looking for a solution. Henna was a young dog with a series of physical and mental difficulties that were impacting her and Stella's partnership.

In this episode of Enlightened By Dogs, Kathy chats to Stella about her journey towards building a strong partnership with Henna. Stella and Henna are a fantastic success story for BPA and highlight why striving for a partnership lifestyle is so worth it.

In this episode:

What Stella and Henna's relationship looked like before BPA
The different steps and tactics Stella tried
How the Brilliant Partners Academy transformed the way Stella interacted with Henna
What their strong and loving partnership looks like now

Read the blog post on this topic.

Quotes:

"I'd been trying to turn her into another dog. I just couldn't accept her. And once I did accept her, then everything changed."

"I was quite dismayed the first time I went to a trainer. She said, 'You need to give this dog a very firm hand.' That was the exact opposite of what was needed."

"People stop me in the street and say, 'Is that the same dog?'"

"The biggest gift that you can give to your dog is partnership and communication."

Want More of Kathy?

To read the blog post on this topic and to explore other episodes, click here.

EBD156 Real Listening to Reactive Dogs with Steph Taleb May 10, 2021

Show notes

You may think that you're listening to your dog's wants and needs, but listening isn't always what you think it is.

We all want to do what's best for our dogs. However, sometimes, in the quest for a successful relationship, we can get stuck pursuing traditional training methods that just aren't working. The reality is, truly listening to your dog can look very different from how you might have imagined it.

When you open up your mind and your heart to your partnership's possibilities, that's when things can really start to change – especially if you have a reactive dog.

Steph Taleb and her dog, Pow, are a perfect example of how real listening can build a strong, thriving partnership. In this episode of Enlightened By Dogs, Kathy speaks to Steph about her journey with Pow and discusses how their relationship has gone from strength to strength since Steph chose to pursue a partnership lifestyle.

In this episode:

How Pow and Steph began their journey to a brilliant partnership
What to do when traditional training doesn't work
Why Steph turned to the Brilliant Partners Academy
How to embrace real listening
Why expectations and compliance could be holding your relationship back
What Steph and Pow's brilliant partnership looks like now

Read the blog post on this topic.

Quotes:

"What it feels like to listen to her now is that there's a flow between us. It's a gentle flow of energy between us that is organic."

"It was like teacher-student relationship – now it's a partnership."

"My idea of what perfect was, of having a perfect dog, of trying to make her perfect, doesn't even exist anymore."

"Once I got rid of that pressure and that stress of compliance, then she wanted to come to me."

"Open your mind. Listen to your heart."

Want More of Kathy?

To read the blog post on this topic and to explore other episodes, click here.

EBD155 Success Is An Inside Job May 03, 2021

Show notes

We often think about success as external. But what internal work happens on the way to achieving a brilliant partnership?

Your mindset can be a powerful guide on the path to a happy lifestyle with your dog. But there are many factors that influence how you think, feel, and respond in any given situation. Most of the time, this happens on the unconscious level. Thinking carefully about how you can make more conscious, intentional choices can lead you to truly being a brilliant partner and loving leader for your dog.

In this episode of Enlightened By Dogs, Kathy shares why becoming a better version of yourself starts with looking inward. Plus, she reveals some of her favorite mindset hacks and lifestyle principles to help you on the way to a successful, growing, and brilliant partnership with your dog.

In this episode:

3 ways to cultivate an optimistic mindset
How visualization can strengthen your partnership
What to do when things don't go to plan
Why attainment and accomplishment are forms of success

Read the blog post on this topic.

Quotes:

"Optimism is a skill that can be learned"

"We already have everything that we need to be brilliant inside of us"

"Whether you know it or not, you have an opinion about what you and your dog can and cannot do"

"Who we become as a result of sharing our life with dogs is what brings true satisfaction, true pleasure, true happiness"

Want More of Kathy?

To read the blog post on this topic and to explore other episodes, click here.

EBD154 Social Activity and Arousal Balance for Dogs Apr 26, 2021

Show notes

Are the activities you do with your dog really meeting both your needs?

Both you and your dog are social beings. You have socialization and intellectual stimulation needs that you have the power to fulfill. But we often make mistakes about how to socialize our dogs and the engagement that we have with them.

In this episode of Enlightened By Dogs, Kathy shares a segment from one of her Brilliant Partners Academy classes. She talks about two topics, including how to meet your dog's social needs in real-life situations and how to balance the activities you do with your dog to avoid over-arousal. She also shares a framework to help you be more mindful about creating a brilliant life for you and your dog.

In this episode:

Meeting your needs and your dog's needs as a social being
How to balance engagement and activities with your dog
Why it's important to accurately assess your dog's response to daily activities
Kathy's recommended framework to plan activities with intention

Read the blog post on this topic.

Quotes:

"We're looking to love our dogs' choices authentically from our heart, at every opportunity."

"You want to do your best to consider both yours and your dog's needs when you look for your social activities."

"We need to be in a state of learning and growing mentally, and it's just as important for your dog as it is for you."

"Your dog can learn to associate you, and engagement with you, with high arousal and activities only."

Want More of Kathy?

To read the blog post on this topic and to explore other episodes, click here.

EBD153 Balancing Emotions with Flower Essences Apr 19, 2021

Show notes

When your emotional pathway is clear and balanced, you're primed for connecting and co-regulating with your dog. But finding balance isn't always easy. So, what tools can you use to help restore emotional balance in your partnership?

In this Enlightened By Dogs episode, Kathy shares how you can use flower essences to find balance when you're experiencing mental, emotional, or spiritual unease.

These flower essences are simple and safe to use and can be an effective remedy in times of need. Using these to bring you and your dog back to balance sets the stage for successful co-regulation, as you help each other navigate life as the responsible, loving leader.

In this episode:

What are flower essences?
The different flower essence systems, and why Kathy prefers the Bach remedies
How to use the flower essences and their remedies
Choosing flower essences for you and your dog

Read the blog post on this topic.

Quotes:

"When we are more balanced emotionally, that sets the stage for us to be a leader."

"Essences focus on the root, emotional causes and help bring that back to balance."

"That's the beauty of flower essences – they're very, very safe."

Want More of Kathy?

To read the blog post on this topic and to explore other episodes, click here.

EBD152 Balanced Behavior Starts Here Apr 12, 2021

Show notes

There are five key pillars that all social animals need to connect and thrive. These five elements build trust between you and your dog, and bring you back into balance when things start to go awry – so they're crucial for maintaining a partnership lifestyle! But what are they?

The five pillars are to be safe, to be connected, to belong, to be heard, and to be helpful. When you keep these pillars in mind, it can help your dog calm down, think clearly, learn from you, and cooperate with you. They're a vital part of living the safe, calm, and happy life that you dream about.

In this episode of Enlighted By Dogs, Kathy shares what it means to be heard and how you can better listen to your dog to build a happy, understanding partnership. She also reveals the key role your leadership has to play in creating a safe space for your dog.

In this episode:

The five pillars for a partnership lifestyle
What it means to be heard
How to listen as a loving leader
How to help your dog feel safe
Kathy's 5 key takeaways for how to truly hear your dog

Read the blog post on this topic.

Mentions:

Quotes:

"Trust and cooperation are feelings. They are not instructions."

"A trusting relationship is the key to successful animal companionship."

"We are culturally conditioned to believe that dogs are not capable of choosing to be loving, playful, well-behaved partners without being paid to do so. And that is simply not true."

Want More of Kathy?

To read the blog post on this topic and to explore other episodes, click here.

EBD151 Calming Your Dog from the Inside Out Apr 05, 2021

Show notes

In the world of dog behavior, there's a lot of talk about "impulse control". But what is causing these impulses, and what's the best way to approach "controlling" them?

In this episode of Enlightened By Dogs, Kathy turns the idea of "impulse control" upside down and inside out! Instead of trying to control impulses, Kathy explores how you can use your natural biology of connection to help your dog calm down.

She explains how you and your dog are biologically wired for connection and how to tap into this to co-regulate your dog's nervous system. Kathy also shares how the Dancing Hearts partnership lifestyle method can help your dog default to feeling safe, calm and happy, and why this grows your trust and connection.

In this episode:

What it means to grow or leak trust
The importance of meeting your and your dog's need to feel safe and connected
How co-regulation is the heart of all positive relationships
Why reliable regulation helps you and your dog engage and grow
How to condition your dog's nervous system for safety and connection

Read the blog post on this topic.

"We suffer when our biological need for connection is unmet."

"When we're not dependable, predictable, steady role models in life, our partnership starts leaking trust."

"Pause, breathe, connect. Pause, breathe, connect."

Want More of Kathy?

To read the blog post on this topic and to explore other episodes, click here.

EBD150 Loving Your "Difficult" Dog Mar 29, 2021

Show notes

If your dog is displaying difficult behavior and not cooperating, it may make you feel like your dog is deliberately giving you a hard time. But the truth is, your dog is having a hard time!

When you have these negative thoughts about how your dog reacts to you, it leads to trust leaks in your partnership. But there are ways to turn your thinking around and reframe your dog's behavior so that it doesn't damage your bond.

We all have the capacity and capability to start unconditionally loving our difficult dogs, even when they are displaying challenging behaviors. In this episode of Enlightened By Dogs, Kathy explains how to reframe "negative thoughts" about your dog's behavior and how understanding their personality type can help.

In this episode:

Why negative thoughts cause trust leaks in your partnership
Which misconception leads to frustration and anxieties
What negative thoughts are common for each personality type
How understanding your dog's personality can help you reframe your thoughts
Some BPA examples of working with different personality types
Three journal prompts to help you start reframing

Read the blog post on this topic.

Quotes:

"Our dogs are having a hard time not giving us a hard time."

"One of the misconceptions we have is that all dogs are alike and that the same training will be effective for all dogs."

"What we want to do is to shift our perspective with intention and reframe that 'negative thought' into a trust and partnership building thought, instead."

Want More of Kathy?

To read the blog post on this topic and to explore other episodes, click here.

EBD149 The Right Way to Socialize Your Dog or Puppy Mar 22, 2021

Show notes

Socializing your dog can be tricky business! Especially when there are so many theories of how it should be done. However, some methods might not be right for your dog and may do more harm than good to your partnership.

In this episode of Enlightened By Dogs, Kathy shares the three common socialization myths that you should be aware of. She explains why attempting to socialize your dog in any of these ways could be a mistake. Kathy also reveals how you should approach socializing your dog to build trust, confidence, and resilience.

Whether you're socializing your puppy for the first time or are working towards a stronger partnership with an older dog, this episode shares some amazing socializing insights!

In this episode:

Why not all socialization methods are beneficial to developing your dog's social skills
How to approach socialization for your dog
The three common socialization myths to look out for
How to honor your dog and their right to choose
What other factors may influence your dog's way of socializing

Read the blog post on this topic.

Quotes:

"Letting your dog have the freedom to choose if they want to get involved will lead to greater trust, greater confidence, and greater resiliency."

"Honor your dogs by not putting them into circumstances that make them uncomfortable, nervous, and are unnatural for them."

"Positive and proper socialization happens when we honor our dog's breed, character, emotions, and don't discount or try to distract from their emotions."

"Positive, safe, calm, and happy experiences create positive associations with new experiences."

Want More of Kathy?

To read the blog post on this topic and to explore other episodes, click here.

EBD148 Digging Into Personality Type Combinations Mar 15, 2021

Show notes

Life can get pretty interesting when we mix personalities.

Understanding your dog's personality type teaches you why they behave the way they do. Knowing more about how your dog expresses their personality gives you an insight into what they're trying to communicate and how. This better communication and understanding ultimately leads to a strong partnership bond!

When personality types come together, they react in different ways. Some combinations are naturally geared towards a peaceful union, while others require a consciously mindful approach to understanding each other.

So, what happens when we combine personality types? In this episode of Enlightened By Dogs, Kathy digs into the challenges and advantages that different personality-type combinations can experience and shares how you can find balance in your partnership.

In this episode:

A quick recap of the five different personality types
How to find balance using the five-element theory
The challenges and successes with each personality type combination
What a deeper understanding of you and your dog's personality could do for your partnership
How to find out your dog's personality type

Read the blog post on this topic.

Quotes:

"The five-element theory is designed with the big picture perspective that everything is meant to be in balance."

"If one personality type is imbalanced, another can bring them back into balance."

"Expand your mind into new perspectives about what might be happening with you and your dog and with other personalities in your life."

Want More of Kathy?

To read the blog post on this topic and to explore other episodes, click here.

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