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Enlightened By Dogs: Living with Cooperation, Not Obedience — Kids & Family
Enlightened By Dogs: Living with Cooperation, Not Obedience

Welcome to our podcast where we dog moms discuss modern, enlightened dog parenting! Each week, we’ll take a dive deep into the human-dog connection and explore strategies that will inspire you to create connection and cooperation with your dog…no obedience training needed!

We meet up at the intersection where training and behavior meet Heart and Soul…and where we leave behind the ‘power over’ obedience training paradigm we inherited and lead the way to an enlightened ‘power with’ approach. Join us for an inspirational and educational journey as we explore what living in cooperative partnership with our beautiful dogs looks like in real life.

Brilliant Partners are kind, loving, calm, clear, confident, and cooperative … and when WE learn how to be a Brilliant Partner, our dogs do too.

Kathy Kawalec is an author, writer, the founder of Dancing Hearts Dog Academy and creator of the Brilliant Partners Academy, The Foundation Formula, Herding Partners Academy, and Creative Alchemy Passion Plan.

Latest Episodes:

EBD167 The Summer Series on The Power of Partnership - Part 1 of 5 Jul 26, 2021

Show notes

How much clarity do you have about you and your dog's partnership right now?

It's easier to work out where you're going once you know where you are. That's why getting clear on which areas of your partnership could do with some work is a vital first step on your journey to a happier life together.

In this first episode of a five-part summer series, Kathy introduces us to Mary, a dog mom facing some tough challenges. Kathy explains how Mary got clear on the issues she had with her dog Max, and shares the insights and takeaways you can bring to your own partnership.

This series is a look behind the curtain at what learning to be together as partners really looks like – and just how far you can both come!

In this episode:

What getting clear on your challenges can do for your partnership
How to encourage self-regulation
Kathy's key questions to help you gain clarity

Read the blog post on this topic.

Quotes:

"Clarity leads to success."

"Everything else is possible, once we know exactly what we want, how we want to live, and what it is that we want our dogs to know about how we live together."

"What specific challenge with your dog could use your focus right now?"

Want More of Kathy?

To read the blog post on this topic and to explore other episodes, click here.

EBD166 Are You Trying Too Hard to Connect with Your Dog? Jul 19, 2021

Show notes

Are you struggling to form a solid heart-to-heart connection with your dog?

It could be a simple case of trying too hard or overthinking it. If we're distracted, focused on other things, or too busy, this can affect the close partnership we all dream of having with our dogs.

Sometimes it pays to really step back and take some time to reflect on your perspective and how you role model for your dog.

In this episode of the Enlightened By Dogs podcast, Kathy shares some of the simple things standing in the way of a real heart-to-heart connection and a peaceful partnership with our dogs.

She explains a simple tactic to become more present in the moment to help quieten our wandering brains.

In this episode:

What's standing in our way of having a heart-to-heart connection
Why we need to get off the hamster wheel of being stuck in our own heads
The problem with striving for perfection

Read the blog post on this topic.

Quotes:

"If we're afraid of making a mistake or getting it wrong, well, that means that we're literally building a wall between our dog and us."

"We're stuck in this cycle of being busy. And we don't even know that we're on the hamster wheel."

"What my dog needs most is a heart connection. My dog needs to feel connected. My dog needs to feel like they belong and are heard."

Want More of Kathy?

To read the blog post on this topic and to explore other episodes, click here.

EBD165 Life Lessons From A Junkyard Dog Jul 12, 2021

Show notes

Sometimes we just get so caught up in the drama, urgencies, to-do lists, and life's responsibilities that we forget what's truly important.

We can even get lost in an idea of how our dogs are supposed to be. We fixate on how they're meant to look and behave without even realizing that it's all down to choice.

In this episode of Enlightened By Dogs, Kathy takes you through a simple way to change your perspective on life in general, but more specifically, with your relationship with your dog.

Kathy shares some stories from members of the Brilliant Partners Academy on how they learned to "join up" with their dogs rather than try to control them.

In this episode:

Why you need to "join up" with your dog rather than control them
How to stay focused on "the main thing"
Why connection with your dog is so important

Read the blog post on this topic.

Quotes:

"When we're available for connection, magical stuff happens."

"Rather than try to convince our dogs or campaign for our dog's attention, how about sometimes we just join up with our dogs?"

Want More of Kathy?

To read the blog post on this topic and to explore other episodes, click here.

EBD164 How to Help Your Dog Stay Calm Instead of Reactive Jul 05, 2021

Show notes

Are things a little crazy around your home right now?

During the summer months, many of us start remodeling, landscaping, gardening, or doing construction work on our homes.

This can cause many dogs to become reactive to the new activities and environment around them. Lots of new noises, people, smells, and a disruption to their routine can make even the calmest dogs antsy. Many may bark more than usual or become a bit over-excited or stressed during this time.

If you're struggling to help your dog stay calm, tune in to this episode of the Enlightened By Dogs podcast. Kathy shares some simple tips from an old, archived episode that's just as relevant today as it was then.

In this episode:

Kathy gives a few personal examples of how she acts as a role model for her dogs
Why we need to address our own behaviors before our dogs'
4 ways to become a good role model for your dog

Read the blog post on this topic.

Quotes:

"My dogs are very accustomed to me…they look to me for guidance on how we respond to this unique situation."

"When we role model for our dogs, we're literally expressing with our thoughts, our emotions, our actions, that it's no concern of ours."

Want More of Kathy?

To read the blog post on this topic and to explore other episodes, click here.

EBD163 Helping an Easily Over-Aroused Dog with Andrea Baumann Jun 28, 2021

Show notes

If your dog struggles with over-arousal, you'll be no stranger to emotional outbursts. Overwhelming experiences like these can trigger anxieties that make it difficult for you and your dog to move forward. But life with a reactive dog doesn't have to be this way.

When Andrea Baumann got her standard poodle, Tobias, she dreamed he would become her service dog. Andrea was aware of Tobias' over-arousal and was prepared to help him overcome this so that one day, he could help her.

But over time, Tobias' reactivity got worse. Andrea turned to the Brilliant Partners Academy and has since been on a journey that's transformed her life and their relationship. In this episode, Kathy speaks to Andrea about the obstacles they've overcome and more!

In this episode:

The impact one-on-one training had on Tobias' real-world responses
What changed when Andrea shifted her focus from issues to connection
How Andrea takes a proactive approach to Tobias' reactivity

Read the blog post on this topic.

Quotes:

"I wasn't making good choices for us by putting him in situations that were too hard, thinking that we were training or counter-conditioning."

"When I can help my own stress and role model calm, he responds to that."

"I was so focused on his behavior issues that I was missing out on the joy and the connection."

"We're on a journey, but I'm loving where we are."

Want More of Kathy?

To read the blog post on this topic and to explore other episodes, click here.

EBD162 From Family Dog Fights to Family Harmony with Alicia Martin Jun 21, 2021

Show notes

Establishing a partnership with your dog when they have behavior issues can be a real challenge. But what about building a partnership with 13 dogs all with their own unique needs?

Rescuing or fostering a dog can be such a rewarding experience that it's no wonder people get hooked! Over the last 7 years, BPA member Alicia Martin has fostered over 60 dogs – but not all went on to other homes. Alicia is now in service of 13 foster fails, otherwise known as her family pack of lovable misfits.

There were many underlying reasons why some of these dogs couldn't get adopted, including behavior disorders. This led to lots of family fighting and an unsettled home life for Alicia and co.

In this episode, Alicia joins Kathy to share how the BPA helped her re-establish a harmonious home in just 18 months and confidently lead her chaotic family pack.

In this episode:

How Alicia became the foster mom of over 60 dogs!
Alicia's challenges dealing with a diverse family pack
How the BPA helped Alicia transform the hostile dynamic into a harmonious one

Read the blog post on this topic.

Quotes:

"We were not connecting, and they were not being heard."

"Unless you're 95% or more sure that your dog can and will do a thing, don't ask."

"We don't do training. We do heart connections."

Want More of Kathy?

To read the blog post on this topic and to explore other episodes, click here.

EBD161 Get Back to Grazing Jun 14, 2021

Show notes

Does your dog often get over-excited or easily stressed? Does that feeling pass onto you, and before you know it, you're both stuck feeling frustrated or angry?

Our dogs look to us for so much guidance and reassurance. When we get over-excited, so do our dogs. When we become fearful, our dogs can pick up on that too.

So, what can you do to keep your dog calm in stressful situations? It all starts with you and how you react to stimuli around you.

To calm yourself and your dog, you can use something Kathy calls the "Back to Grazing Protocol."

In this episode of Enlightened By Dogs, Kathy takes you through the six steps of the Back to Grazing Protocol to help you and your dog feel more at ease and able to handle difficult situations.

In this episode:

What the Back to Grazing Protocol is and where the concept comes from
How looping thoughts can increase the drama in our lives
Why gratitude is key to halting looping thoughts

Read the blog post on this topic.

Quotes:

"Our dogs are so attuned to us."

"There are no failures. There are only opportunities to learn."

"Our dogs are depending on us to be safe, calm, and happy, and to be the guide. If we are upset and stay in that place of emotional upheaval, that's what our dogs are getting from us."

Want More of Kathy?

To read the blog post on this topic and to explore other episodes, click here.

EBD160 New Habits Create A New Life Jun 07, 2021

Show notes

We all have dreams, goals, and aspirations, but what is the key to achieving them?

One of the most common pieces of advice is that you need to change your mindset to achieve your dreams. After all, your mindset is key to everything in your life. It affects your health and wellness, financial status, career, and the relationships you have in your life – including the partnership you have with your dog.

Mindset matters, but does just changing your mindset ever really work? Kathy talks a lot about mindset on this podcast. But this time, she takes a deep dive look into why mindset matters, how it relates to our habits, and why changing it doesn't always work.

In this Enlightened By Dogs episode, Kathy looks at why achieving your dreams isn't just about mindset. It's about the actions we take and the dreams and feelings we strive for.

In this episode:

Why simply changing your mindset doesn't work
How the three main parts of the brain interact
Why creating new habits is key to achieving your dreams

Read the blog post on this topic.

Quotes:

"Anytime that you say you want to change your mindset, what you're really saying is that you want to change a habit."

"Your true and deep emotions are your most meaningful roadmap to live from your heart – this authentic you."

"Your real feelings are the strongest, most inspiring motivators possible."

Want More of Kathy?

To read the blog post on this topic and to explore other episodes, click here.

EBD159 What If It Was Easy? May 31, 2021

Show notes

Are you feeling disconnected from your dog? Are you struggling to remain present and live in the moment with them?

Living a partnership lifestyle means intentionally creating a heart-to-heart connection with your dog. It means learning to be present and having an awareness of yourself and your thoughts and feelings. By learning more about yourself, you can learn how to become a brilliant partner for you, your dog, and everyone else in your life.

In this episode of Enlightened By Dogs, Kathy discusses ways to regain and revisit your connection with your dog. She takes you through a simple exercise you can practice if you're struggling with feeling present and connected with your dog.

In this episode:

Why it's so important to focus on what we have, not just what we want
How to embrace a feeling of gratitude
How to use Kathy's "field of flowers" exercise to center yourself
How our dogs fit into our life experiences

Read the blog post on this topic.

Quotes:

"That field of flowers is like a metaphor for how I'm always in love with my dog. I'm always connected heart-to-heart with my dog. Even when we're having a communication breakdown, we are still always standing in our field of flowers together."

"The sum total of our thoughts and feelings is what creates our life experience."

"You can have that feeling of gratitude and abundant love and connection in any moment that you want – when we give up our need to find that feeling outside of ourselves."

Want More of Kathy?

To read the blog post on this topic and to explore other episodes, click here.

EBD158 Living with An Excitable Dog with Beth Williams May 24, 2021

Show notes

When your personality doesn't align with your dog's in the ways you might expect, how do you communicate and connect?

BPA member, Beth Williams, welcomed her new dog, KZ into her life with open arms and an open heart. But after years of owning earth-type dogs (and being an earth-type herself), adapting to a dog with a fire-type personality was quite a change!

KZ's excitable nature presented many new challenges for Beth and put a lot of initial strain on their relationship. Now, they have the heart and mind connection Beth always dreamed of. How did they do it? Find out in this episode of Enlightened By Dogs, as Kathy speaks to Beth about her incredible path to calming and connecting with her excitable dog.

In this episode:

How Beth's dog-centered lifestyle created challenges for KZ
Why Beth needed to adjust her expectations for her new puppy
Why understanding your and your dog's personalities can help you connect better
Beth's new perspective on communicating with your dog

Read the blog post on this topic.

Quotes:

"I just had to let go. That's not who he is. That's not what he enjoys. Maybe at some point in his life, he may enjoy it, but he's not now and trying to make him do that wasn't helping our relationship."

"Because he is so big and so young and the reputation that his breed has, there was a sense that I really needed to control him. I just needed to be able to get a handle on him and be able to control him more to keep everybody safe."

"Staying connected was always my reframe versus preventing him from doing something I didn't want him to do."

"The thing it tends to come back to is staying connected."

Want More of Kathy?

To read the blog post on this topic and to explore other episodes, click here.

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