Stay ConnectedDig into the underdiscussed corners of the human experience. Each week, host Anita Rao leads intimate conversations with people unafraid to question what we think we know about identity, relationships and health.
Follow the show on Instagram at @embodiedwunc and on Bluesky at embodiedwunc.bsky.social. You can find Anita on Bluesky at asrao.bsky.social.
Copyright: © 2022 WUNC Podcasts
Anita first learned about surrogate partner therapy from the 2012 movie "The Sessions," and her curiosity was piqued. It's a widely misunderstood and stigmatized type of therapy work in which touch is a mechanism for healing. Two surrogate partners take her inside the day-to-day of their jobs, and a certified sex therapist shares why she hopes others in her industry will be more welcoming to the practice.
Meet the guests:
- Brian Gibney, a surrogate partner, educator and advocate, explains what makes surrogate partner therapy distinct and shares his experience in this work
- Arianna Fernandez, surrogate partner and member of the International Professional Surrogates Association, talks about how her genderqueer identity impacts how they show up in the work
- Deva Segal, a licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist, breaks down her role in surrogate partner therapy and why she recently started incorporating this work into her practice
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Anita agrees to a suggestion posed by a listener: Explore why the hair-pulling disorder trichotillomania is so taboo. She talks with an artist who started pulling their hair more than two decades ago but only recently told her parents…after publishing part of their story in a national news outlet. A psychologist on the front lines of studying trich treatment talks about the importance of acceptance; and a hairstylist with trich takes us into why her salon is a safe haven for other folks with hair loss.
Meet the guests:
- Haruka Aoki, a poet and illustrator who published a comic about their trichotillomania journey in The Washington Post, shares what it was like to learn a term for the disorder later in life
- Dr. Suzanne Mouton-Odum, a licensed psychologist and board member for the TLC Foundation for Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors, describes her counseling work with folks who experience trich
- Dorin Azérad, a hair loss hairstylist, shares how her ongoing journey with trich shapes the services she offers to other folks with hair loss at her salon
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Dive deeper:
Anita has no tattoos but plenty of admiration for the art form that gives us new ways to experience our bodies. She talks with a heavily-tattooed scholar who's interrogated how society treats tattooed women; a queer, Jewish tattoo artist reclaiming body art; and an artist who's pushing back on the misconceptions of tattooing melanated skin.
Meet the guests:
- Beverly Thompson, professor in the sociology department at Siena College in New York, talk about how gender impacts the perception of tattooed bodies
- Joey Ramona, a queer tattoo artist, shares how their Jewish heritage has influenced their tattoo journey
- Oba Moori, owner of PUSH Tattoo Studio in Delaware, talks about tattooing melanated skin and the power of a great tattoo
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Dig deeper…
…into tattoo history: https://theconversation.com/tattoos-have-a-long-history-going-back-to-the-ancient-world-and-also-to-colonialism-165584
…into tattoos as body reclamation: https://www.yesmagazine.org/opinion/2023/06/01/for-the-colonized-body-tattoos-are-reclamation
Anita discovers just how wrong “Fifty Shades of Grey” was about BDSM. A dominatrix and community leader introduce her to kink spaces rooted in community and healing. Plus, a scholar talks about the long history behind our understanding of masochism.
Meet the guests:
- Smoky, the co-founder of Obsidian, shares how she became interested in the world of BDSM, what draws her to the role of submissive and what inspired the creation of Obsidian
- Dia Dynasty, a professional dominatrix based in New York City, talks about the importance of being trauma-informed in domination and the healing opportunities in the BDSM community
- Amber Jamilla Musser, the author of “Sensational Flesh: Race, Power and Masochism” and an English professor at the CUNY Graduate Center, explains the history of the term "masochism" and some of the controversy around masochism in feminist circles
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Anita has heard one resounding truth from her friends who lost a parent in early adulthood: That death was the biggest thing that has ever happened to them. She meets two people who've built specific communities around their grief on the internet and a writer who experienced losing his dad twice.
Meet the guests:
- Liz Zorn, photographer and model, talks about the sudden loss of her father and how it's changed her views on the afterlife
- Naomi Edmondson, grief educator and space holder, shares how the experience of losing two mother figures in her 20s inspired her to create a community group for Black folks who are grieving
- Jeff Dingler, author and journalist, explains how he lost his father twice: first to mental illness when he was 14 and then to death when he was in his 20s
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Dig deeper:
Liz’s YouTube video, “What no one tells you about losing a parent”
Fifteen years ago Anita took Women's Studies 101 on a whim … and to this day, she still doesn't have an answer to the question: what is masculinity? In further pursuit of some clarity, she talks with a trans man and a non-binary person about what's possible when we take a more gender-fluid approach to manhood. The two share where their own beliefs about gender come from and how they're building a more expansive definition of masculinity in their own lives.
Meet the guests:
- Ocean Wei, a rising senior at Kenyon College and a trans writer, explains the roots of his views on masculinity and how they've evolved over time, as he's moved from Beijing to rural Missouri and come out as trans
- Anjan Alavandar, creator of Masq, talks about how they create safe spaces for folks to examine and dissect their own relationships with masculinity
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Anita got friend dumped for the first time in 6th grade, and she's still not over it. She talks to folks about the distinct pain of a platonic breakup and gets some tools for building strong friendships, setting boundaries and figuring out when it's time to let go.
Meet the guests:
- Michelle Elman is an author and life coach best known for her activism campaign Scarred Not Scared. She tells Anita about "the mass exodus" — a period of time in which she went through multiple friend breakups
- Tony Liu is a medical student and former radio and podcast producer for NPR and "On Being." He shares how tenderness informs how he makes and breaks up with friends
- KB Newton is the founder and creator of HEART Convos. She talks about being a recovering "trash friend"
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Anita wouldn't have made it through her 20s without her work friends. But now that she's a manager and working in a hybrid office, she's noticed that work friendships don't come as easily as they used to. A psychologist answers her burning workplace relationship questions and dives into the surprising amount of data about work besties. Plus, a Gen Z writer urges her to re-think the importance of work as a primary social hub.
Meet the guests:
- Dr. Marisa G. Franco, a psychologist and author of "Platonic: How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make — and Keep — Friends," shares the benefits of a work bestie and talks about why employers are invested in these positive relationships in the workplace
- Katherine Hu, assistant editor at The Atlantic, talks about how her generation is navigating the social scene at work
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Anita has no qualms about being an armchair therapist for friends going through a breakup. But sometimes she wonders how her advice aligns with what relationship experts say. Advice columnists Meredith Goldstein and Stacia Brown give guidance on breaking up "well," going no-contact, navigating social media and finding the right breakup anthem for the moment.
Meet the guests:
- Meredith Goldstein, writer and podcast host behind The Boston Globe column and podcast "Love Letters," shares insights from her personal and professional experiences with love and heartbreak
- Stacia Brown, writer and producer, talks about her own pandemic breakup and shares wisdom akin to what she delivers regularly in her role as a columnist for Slate's parenting advice column "Care and Feeding"
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Anita is confused about hook up culture. Is it a thing, and if so, who makes the rules? She talks to a recent college grad about her research on the sex lives of her peers, plus a therapist who shares her take on why it doesn't feel as liberating as we think it should. Then she dives into Celibacy TikTok — a space where Gen Zers are committing to being sex-free.
Meet the guests:
- Sophie Aaron, a writer, researcher and 2021 graduate of Oberlin College shares insights from her senior thesis on hookup culture on her campus in the time of COVID
- Dr. Cherlisa Jackson, a sexual health educator and counselor based in Atlanta, talks about the myths vs. realities of hookup culture
- Cindy Noir, a motivational speaker and TikTok creator, talks about why she has experimented with abstinence in response to hookup culture
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