Stay ConnectedSex and relationships are intimate — and sometimes intimidating to talk about. In this weekly podcast from North Carolina Public Radio WUNC, host Anita Rao guides us on an exploration of our brains and our bodies that touches down in taboo territory.
Follow the show on Instagram and Twitter @embodiedwunc. You can find Anita on Twitter @anisrao.
Copyright: © 2022 WUNC Podcasts
A new crop of children’s book authors are trying to help kids develop curiosity about their physical bodies. But how exactly do they turn fraught body politics into compelling children's stories? Anita gets answers when she meets Tyler Feder and Shelly Anand, the creators behind the books "Bodies Are Cool" and "Laxmi's Mooch."
Meet the guests:
- Tyler Feder, the author and illustrator behind the book “Bodies are Cool"
- Shelly Anand, the author of “Laxmi’s Mooch"
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While early biology lessons often teach us about sex as a binary, our bodies tell a different story. An intersex physician tells Anita about the decades-long attempt to erase intersex folks from existence, and a parent and two young adults share their advice on how to best support adolescents who defy the sex and gender binary.
Meet the guests:
- Suegee Tamar-Mattis, a physican who is also an intersex person, describes the decades-long attempt to erase intersex folks from existence, what support is available for intersex youth in their adolescent years and the importance of intersex community
- Eric Lohman, parent to a 12-year-old intersex kid, explains how he and his wife have helped his tween explore gender and make decisions about his own body as he’s gotten older.
- Hillel and Sam, two young intersex adults, share their thoughts on what it means to be intersex, the experience of puberty and gender identity and their hopes for the future in terms of intersex awareness and advocacy
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Many autistic people assigned female at birth remain undiagnosed at 18, so what's it like to get an autism diagnosis in your adulthood? Anita meets two women whose paths to a diagnosis started on the internet. Plus a non-binary photographer shares how their late autism diagnosis has informed their marriage and sense of self.
Meet the guests:
- Irene Chon, neurodivergent creator and self-empowerment coach, talks about the challenge of getting assessed for autism as an adult and why working in customer service was kind of the perfect job for her as an autistic person
- Kofi Robinson, a lawyer and TikTok creator, shares how her autistic traits coincide with the expectations for a good lawyer and how she makes solid friendships
- Jenni Chapman, a queer and nonbinary photographer, draws parallels between coming out as queer and coming out as autistic, and how she's preparing to handle noise sensitivity as a parent
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Dig Deeper:
A 2022 study on autism and people assigned female at birth
The TikTok account that made Irene realize she was autistic
Jenni's podcast, The Queer Soul Spotlight
Our understanding of the term bisexuality has been in a state of constant evolution. In a moment when bisexual adults make up the largest share of the LGBTQ+ population, how is bisexuality being re-imagined, reclaimed — and sometimes relinquished? Anita meets two people who have grappled with the term’s history, meaning and power for building community.
Meet the guests:
- J.R. Yussuf is the author of “Dear Bi Men: A Black Man's Perspective on Power, Consent, Breaking Down Binaries, and Combating Erasure”
- Jazmín Aguilar is a host and senior audio producer at the Boston Globe
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Dealing with pimples and blackheads in middle school is practically a right of passage. But when acne is a defining feature of your adulthood... it’s a whole different experience. Anita meets two acne content creators and a photographer who talk about the emotional toll of severe acne, the myth of normal skin, and the responsibility of being today’s skincare influencers.
Meet the Guests:
- Patsy Chem, an acne-positive skinfluencer, shares the experience of getting severe acne in her 20s and how that shaped her social life
- Peter DeVito, photographer behind the "Acne Normalization" project, talks about creating a safe space in portrait photography for models with acne and the ripple effect of those photos
- Cassandra Bankson, a medical esthetician, model and skinfluencer, discusses how she handles the responsibility of challenging beauty standards while also reviewing skincare products and practices
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Dig Deeper:
Cassandra's viral video and YouTube channel
NYT on adult acne
Jessica DeFino in Teen Vogue on the myth of "normal skin" and in Vanity Fair on dermatology’s biggest rule that was meant to be broken
Patsy Chem on accepting her acne
The marriage rate in this country has fallen nearly 60% in the last half century. So what’s motivating those of us still choosing to say I do? On her one-year wedding anniversary, Anita ponders this question with the Hindu officiant who helped her build a ceremony that bridged the gap between her values and her dad's traditional desires. Plus, a comedian and queer ex-nun explains how she takes people from the place of "marriage is a dumpster fire" to a ceremony they're excited about.
Meet the guests:
- Raja Gopal Bhattar is a consultant, author and officiant who Anita and her family worked with to design her wedding ceremony
- Kelli Dunham, a comedian, nurse and queer ex-nun who officiates weddings and funerals — and refers to herself as "queer secular clergy"
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If you want to hear more of Satish Rao on Embodied:
Mixed (Parent Edition), where Anita talks to her parents about growing up mixed race
Pooped, where Satish gets to share his expertise as a gastroenterologist
Kennedy Ryan has released 23 romance books in the past decade, and along the way she's developed a style and approach that speaks to hundreds of thousandsof readers. Anita sits down with her at a special live event at Flyleaf Books in Chapel Hill to talk about how her own relationships inform her work, the art of writing unskippable sex scenes and what's next for her career as her Skyland series makes its way to TV.
Meet the guest:
- Kennedy Ryan is a New York Times and USA Today bestselling romance author.
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Looking for more romance episodes? Try these:
The Making of Great Erotica - Anita goes behind the scenes with two prolific erotica author-editors and a former producer for the audio erotica app Dipsea to figure out how the sausage — and the butt slaps — get made.
Written: Disability Love Stories - Anita meets a novelist, essayist and activist who share their disability love stories and how writing has changed their relationships with others and themselves (including an interview with author Talia Hibbert!)
Egg donation in the U.S. is a multibillion dollar industry with high stakes and complicated dynamics. Anita talks with two egg donors about why they donated and what they wish they'd known earlier. Plus, a medical anthropologist shines a light on the messy world of donor compensation and why some eggs are valued higher than others.
Meet the guests:
- Julie Ventura, egg donor and nail artist, shares her journey of donating eggs for her best friends to start a family
- Claire Burns, egg donor and Canadian playwright, actor and advocate, explains her concerns with the industry after hearing about lots of varying experiences as the co-founder of the online support group, We Are Egg Donors
- Daisy Deomampo, associate professor of anthropology at Fordham University, breaks down her research into the racialization and commodification of the egg donor market, particularly for Asian American donors
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At its best, reading is a portal to new worlds and new ideas. But a lot can get in the way — up to 20% of the population experiences symptoms of dyslexia, a lifelong neurological disorder that makes it difficult to read fluently. An author who learned to read when he was 18 and a dyslexia scholar help Anita understand how reading develops in the brain and what's at stake if dyslexic learners are left by the wayside.
Meet the guests:
- Dr. Shawn Robinson is an entrepreneur, consultant and author of the graphic novel series “Doctor Dyslexia Dude!”
- Dr. Maryanne Wolf is the director of the Center for Dyslexia, Diverse Learners and Social Justice at UCLA in the School of Education and Information Studies
A special thank you to Eso Romero for contributing her insights as a teacher of dyslexic students to this episode!
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How does living with a condition that is so deeply stigmatized affect who and how we love? Anita meets a mixed-HIV status couple who shares how they've approached sex and intimacy in their 11+ year relationship. Plus, a woman who was born HIV positive talks about dating, disclosure and overcoming the fear of rejection.
Meet the guests:
- Rainer Oktovianus is a photographer and user experience designer living with HIV
- Eka Nasution is a project management professional and Rainer's husband
- Diana Koss is a content creator and host of the "Born Positive" YouTube channel
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Anita's highly-anticipated (and highly-awkward) first kiss was in eighth grade … but she remembers it like it was yesterday! A scientist tells her why our brains respond so strongly to kissing and how our kissing customs have changed over time. She also unpacks the power of a kiss with a photographer who documents queer Black love in public and three Gen-Zers school her on contemporary kissing culture.
Meet the guests:
- Sheril Kirshenbaum, science communicator and author of “The Science of Kissing: What Our Lips Are Telling Us,” explains what's happening in our brains when our lips touch another person's and digs into the cultural history and evolution of kissing
- Kadar Small, photographer, director and filmmaker, shares his photo series "PDA," which aims to highlight and normalize images of Black and brown queer intimacy
- Donna Diaz, Parys Smith and Chris Williams, all current and past WUNC Youth reporters, talk together about their first kisses, how they think about boundaries and what makes a good kiss
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Anita brings you into part of our family secrets variety show from earlier this year, featuring North Carolina country duo Blue Cactus. She talks with the band about creating and performing an original song inspired by an anonymous secret. The secret was gathered by Song Confessional, an Austin-based podcast that matches songwriters with “confessions.”
Meet the guests:
- Walker Lukens, co-creator and co-host of the Song Confessional podcast
- Steph Stewart and Mario Arnez, members of Blue Cactus
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It's a small procedure, but a big question. Anita talks with a urologist about what medical advice to consider while making the circumcision decision (and where medicine doesn't have the answers). She also meets a rabbi and mother who offers alternatives to centuries-old circumcision rituals and hears from a circumcised father raising an uncircumcised son.
Meet the guests:
- Dr. Emilie K. Johnson, a pediatric urologist and associate professor of urology at Northwestern University, answers Anita's questions about the procedure and shares her research on disparities in access to circumcision
- Rabbi Elyssa Cherney, founder of Tackling Torah, talks about the role of circumcision in the Jewish faith tradition, how she works with interfaith couples on what parts of that tradition to follow or preserve — and she explains how she handled the circumcision decision with her son
- Chris Silva, a father, talks about how his thinking on circumcision evolved after his son was born prematurely, from assuming they would have the procedure for his son to ultimately decided not to circumcise
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In Anita's lifetime, the divorce rate for Americans over 55 has doubled. People are living longer, divorce stigma has decreased and women are more financially independent. But leaving a decades-long marriage … is a big life upheaval. Anita gets personal accounts from two gray divorcees about what it was like to rebuild their identities, finances and freedom post-divorce. They discuss money management, surfing and why women initiate divorce most often in heterosexual partnerships.
Meet the guests:
- Laura Stassi is a writer, editor and the host of the podcast "Dating While Gray."
- Dr. Stephanie Han is a literature scholar, award-winning author and educator.
Special thanks to Nanette Murphy and Linda Lingo for sharing their thoughts for this episode!
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Anita's been deep in romantasy land this year reading Fourth Wing & ACOTAR. And it's gotten her thinking about the skill required to make steamy sex scenes come alive on the page and out loud. She goes behind the scenes with two prolific erotica author-editors and a former producer for the audio erotica app Dipsea to figure out how the sausage — and the butt slaps — get made.
Meet the guests:
- Rachel Kramer Bussel has been published in more than 100 erotica anthologies, edited at least 70 others and is the author of “How To Write Erotica.”
- Cecilia Tan has written science fiction and fantasy erotica for 30 years and is the founder of the publishing company Circlet Press.
- Selene Ross is a former audio producer for the popular audio erotica app Dipsea and an artist and musician with an MFA in fiction from Oregon State University, where she teaches podcast storytelling and writing.
Special thanks to Megan Hart and Lee Suksi for contributing to this episode!
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Anita and her partner John have started talking more openly about how his hearing loss informs their relationship and how they'll continue to navigate that as they age. She meets another interabled couple (Anna and Vika) who share the sometimes humorous, sometimes challenging moments that accompany sex and dating with hearing loss. Plus, former guest Yat Li returns to talk about deafness, disclosure, and disabled identity.
Meet the guests:
- Anna Pulley, author and columnist, talks about her journey with sex and intimacy as a deaf and hard of hearing person
- Vika Mass, Anna's fiancee, shares how she has adjusted as part of an interabled couple
- Yat Li, disability advocate, inclusive model and creator of “Let There Be Ears” on YouTube, talks about how he learned to self-disclose his deafness
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Tested is a new podcast series from CBC and NPR that asks the question, who gets to compete? Since the beginning of women’s sports, there has been a struggle over who qualifies for the women’s category. Tested follows the unfolding story of elite female runners who have been told they can no longer race as women, because of their biology. As the Olympics approach, they face hard choices: take drugs to lower their natural testosterone levels, give up their sport entirely, or fight. To understand how we got here, we trace the surprising, 100-year history of sex testing.
More episodes of Tested are available here.
It took Anita 12 years and five therapists to find someone who could help her tackle questions of racial and cultural identity. She meets two therapists of color working to make that kind of support more accessible. Sahaj Kaur Kohli, founder of Brown Girl Therapy, talks about approaching wellness from a more collectivist lens, and Jor-El Caraballo shares how he helps clients build tools for resilience in the face of systemic oppression.
Meet the guests:
- Sahaj Kaur Kohli is a psychotherapist, the founder of Brown Girl Therapy and the author of “But What Will People Say?”
- Jor-El Caraballo is a therapist, the co-founder of Viva Mental Health and Wellness and the author of “Self-Care for Black Men”
Special thanks to Lisa R. Savage, Erinn Scott, Melody Li and Susan Chung for contributing to this weeks’ episode.
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Long-term stays in psychiatric institutions were once a relatively common treatment in this country. They’re not anymore, but that doesn’t mean they’ve gone away entirely. Anita meets someone who spent three years living in a psychiatric hospital in the early 90s and talks with an activist whose time spent in contemporary psychiatric hospitals pushed them to fight for alternatives.
Meet the guests:
- Suzanne Scanlon spent three years living inside the New York State Psychiatric Institute in her early 20s and is the author of the memoir “Committed: On Meaning and Madwomen”
- Stefanie Lyn Kaufman-Mthimkulu is an organizer, healer and the founder and director of Project LETs
**If you or someone you know is in an emotional crisis, reach out to the National Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by dialing or texting 988.**
Special thanks to Chanika Svetvilas and Laura Lopez-Aybar, who contributed to this episode.
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Places to find diverse narratives about psychiatric institutionalization:
When you live in a disabled body, you don’t always get to see yourself in the love stories you consume. Anita talks with three folks changing that through their own writing. She meets a novelist, essayist and activist who share their disability love stories and how writing has changed their relationships with others and themselves.
Meet the guests:
- Keah Brown, journalist and author of "The Pretty One," talks about her experience with cerebral palsy and her multi-year journey to self-love
- Maria Town, activist and CEO and president of the American Association of People with Disabilities, discusses opening up about her romantic relationship for the first time in her essay, ”This is My Solemn Vow”
- Talia Hibbert, British romance author, digs into how her own experiences as a disabled person inform the romantic leads that she writes
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Dive deeper:
“Disability Intimacy,” edited by activist Alice Wong
Anita's nail habit has evolved in the past decade from $10 drop-in manicures to 90 minute appointments with a nail artist. That artist joins her for a conversation about how Black women have shaped nail culture. Plus a fashion historian details nail history from Egyptian mummies to ‘90s Chanel colors, and a Vietnamese-American woman tells the story of growing up inside her parents' nail salons.
Meet the guests:
- Crystal Sanders, nail artist and entrepreneur, shares her business and artistic philosophy and talks about the overlooked role Black women have played in the history of nail art
- Suzanne E. Shapiro, fashion historian and author of "Nails: The Story of the Modern Manicure," explains the historical context of manicures and nail art and ties both art forms into larger cultural forces
- My Ngoc To, Vietnamese-American writer, talks about her experience growing up in the nail salons that her parents owned and how that has influenced her relationship with nail art today
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Dig deeper:
More context on Black women in nail art
My Ngoc’s piece about her family’s nail salons
Sign up for WUNC's new Politics Newsletter here.
It’s been two years since the Supreme Court revoked the federal right to an abortion. Now, nearly one in five people seeking abortion care has to cross state lines to get it. Anita meets someone who spent 20 hours on the road to get her abortion, learns how folks afford thousands of dollars worth of travel and reviews the ways that Hollywood has taken on the abortion road trip.
Meet the guests:
- Taylor Shelton, abortion-seeker who traveled from her home state of South Carolina to North Carolina three times to get her abortion, shares the emotional toll that all that travel took and why she decided to join a lawsuit suing South Carolina over its abortion law
- Serra Sippel, interim executive director of the Brigid Alliance, talks about some of the tangible ways that her organization supports folks who have to travel for abortion care and how they navigate an ever-changing legislative landscape
- Gretchen Sisson, sociologist who studies portrayals of abortion in TV and film, traces the abortion road trip subgenre and explains how these representations affect the audiences who watch them
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Dive deeper:
A visualization of abortion travel from The New York Times
A Guttmacher Institute analysis on abortion travel & data on abortion numbers and travel
The cost of traveling for an abortion
More on Taylor’s story:
From NPR
From PBS
More on The Brigid Alliance
More ‘navigators’ helping people access abortion care
An Abortion Road Trip Movie List:
Grandma (2015), directed by Paul Weitz
Never Rarely Sometimes Always (2020), directed by Eliza Hittman
Unpregnant (2020), directed by Rachel Lee Goldenberg
Plan B (2021), directed by Natalie Morales
Red, White and Blue (Short 2023), directed by Nazrin Choudhury
Tripping (Short 2024), directed by Amelia Xanthe Boscov
The vast majority of people living with dementia receive essential care from their own family and friends. This work is emotionally rigorous, but also filled with joy, surprise and creativity. More than 11 million Americans are doing this unpaid caregiving, and Anita meets two of them: a millennial who supported her mom and grandmother through different stages of Alzheimer's disease and a man in his 70s who is a care partner for his wife of 50 years.
Meet the guests:
- Jacquelyn Revere, creator of "Mom of My Mom" Instagram and TikTok handles, shares her story of becoming a full-time caregiver at the age of 29 and talks about the logistical and financial realities — and joys — of taking on this role
- Kanu "KC" Mehta, care partner for his wife Sumi, explains how his background as an engineer has helped him creatively solve problems that have arisen with caring for Sumi and gets into the emotional journey he has been on as a care partner for the last 10 years
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The poem that KC reads at the end of the episode is "Do Not Ask Me to Remember" by Owen Darnell.
Sign up for WUNC's new Politics Newsletter here.
Male fertility issues make up half of all infertility cases … but you’d never know it from consuming fertility content through culture, media and even medicine. Anita meets three men breaking the silence in hopes that others get the help and support they need.
Meet the guests:
- Jared Wright, journalist who wrote a piece about his infertility journey for VICE, talks through his first time in a fertility clinic, the treatments he and his wife have undergone since their marriage in 2020 and about his experiences in the infertility space as a Black man
- Dr. Paul Shin, urologist at at Shady Grove Fertility in Washington D.C., explains some of the potential causes of male infertility and what treatments are available
- James D'Souza, a teacher, blogger and podcaster, breaks down his decision to stop pursuing parenthood after a ten year fertility journey with his wife
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Puberty is a right of passage that most of us experience as teenagers. But for some trans folks, big hormonal changes happen again in adulthood. Anita meets three transmasculine people who started taking testosterone as adults...and experienced everything from emotional fluctuations and voice changes to acne and new body hair in a period of second puberty.
Meet the guests:
- Julian Socha, actor, shares his experience of second puberty after being on T for eight years and how the physical changes have influenced his acting and how he's read in social situations
- Gibby Armijo, a chef, has been on testosterone for just about three years and talks about his journey of taking the hormone more intermittently and how it's influenced his ideas about masculinity and adulthood
- Luckie Alexander Fuller, the founder and CEO of "Invisible Men," spells out how his medical transition at age 30 influenced his relationships with his kids and helped his outer appearance align with the way he sees himself
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Building intimate friendships can be difficult, especially for men and masculine-of-center people. And once you add up the challenges presented by patriarchy, racism and sexism, it’s even tougher for Black men. Guest host Omisade Burney-Scott talks to four Black men about masculinity, friendship and vulnerability.
Meet the guests:
- Derrick Beasley, artist and community organizer, links male friendships and climate change in his art and shares how he thinks about building friendships with other Black men
- Tiq Milan, a trans activist and thought leader, breaks down how he is queering masculinity and working to help others in his community cultivate their own ideas of masculinity
- Taj and Zach, best friends and cousins, talk about the ins and outs of their relationship and how they're thinking about building and maintaining friendships as they transition from high school into college
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When you’re living with a stigmatized mental illness like bipolar disorder, opening up to romantic partners can be tough, but Anita brings on two people who’ve found their own way through love and mental health. A writer-poet talks about navigating new romantic connections, and a married couple shares how they’ve built a strong foundation for weathering mental health ups and downs over 15 years together.
Meet the guests:
- Michelle Yang, a writer and advocate, shares her journey to a bipolar I disorder diagnosis, how she navigated disclosure of her diagnosis early on in her relationship with her husband and her work to separate trauma from culture
- Bob Zammit, Michelle's husband, gives his perspective on managing mental health in their family and how he and Michelle have thought about raising their 10-year-old son to be conscious of mental health
- Hannah Blum, author of “Oh Mind, Where Have You Gone Today?”, explains how she approaches disclosure of her bipolar II diagnosis in romantic connections and what kind of mental health support she appreciates from intimate partners
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Anita learned in the early days of this show that there's no such thing as "normal" sexual behavior. But what *is* worth considering: how your relationship with sex affects your life. She meets two women whose compulsive sexual behaviors led them to seek support, and a sex-positive psychologist shares how she helps folks with sex addiction in their recovery.
Meet the guests:
- Krista Nabar, the executive director and founder of the Carolina Sexual Wellness Center, explains her sex-positive approach to hypersexuality and treatment
- Erica Garza, author of “Getting Off: One Woman’s Journey Through Sex and Porn Addiction," shares her history with sex addiction and how she's recovering in a sex-positive way
- Mz. Cici, a content creator on Instagram and TikTok, talks about her efforts to bring more awareness to hypersexuality and her experiences with hypersexuality and bipolar disorder
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Since late 2020, Jordyn Hakes has been on a quest to bring more pleasure and playfulness into her own relationship and those of her many listeners. Anita talks to Jordyn about the upheaval in her life that set her on this path and her best tips for sustaining connection in long-term intimate relationships.
Meet the guest:
- Jordyn Hakes, host of "The Horny Housewife" podcast, shares tips to keep the connection alive in the wake of parenting, body changes and other changes that long-term relationships weather
There's a growing number of women challenging the expectation that you need a partner to have a child. In honor of Mother's Day, Anita meets two single moms by choice. They talk about why they chose this parenting path and how they navigate everything from false assumptions to dating. Plus, one of their daughters – 10-year-old Estela – joins the conversation to share her take on growing up in a nontraditional family.
Meet the guests:
- Hera McLeod, mother and civil rights activist, walks us through her decision to become a single mother and how she's made some of the logistics work — like living in an intergenerational household with her parents
- Estela McLeod, Hera's oldest daughter and cohost of the "Seeking Different" podcast, shares what questions she gets from her peers and how she's thinking about the family she wants to build in the future
- C. Nicole Mason, president and CEO of Future Forward Women, talks about how she's balanced dating with being a single mom of choice and how she's reflecting on her parenting journey now that her twins are teenagers
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Something Special for you all: an episode from "Me and My Muslim Friends," featuring Sameera Qureshi. She is a therapist and founder of Sexual Health for Muslims. Her approach to sex education, therapy, and health is grounded in the Islamic framework and the Islamic understanding of the soul.
Unfortunately, most Muslims don’t have access to a comprehensive sex education growing up. Host Yasmin Bendaas and Sameera dive into the consequences of that and talk about some of the most common issues Sameera hears in her counseling practice.
Religion and sexuality are often pitted against one another...so where does that leave folks who feel attuned to both? Anita interrogates that question alongside Lamya H., the author of "Hijab Butch Blues," a memoir they wrote to be "unapologetically queer and unapologetically Muslim."
Meet the guest:
- Lamya H., author and activist, explains how their identity as a Muslim and as a queer are intertwined and talks about the intersection of both
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People with disabilities are disproportionately affected by climate change yet often sidelined from policy conversations. Anita marks Earth Day by meeting three disability activists working to turn the tides. They share how their lives and bodies have been impacted by global warming — and how their wisdom could shift climate conversations.
Meet the guests:
- Daphne Frias, youth activist, shares how some policies aimed at addressing climate change disproportionately affect people with disabilities and about how her activism philosophy has been shaped by her cancer diagnosis
- Germán Parodi, Co-Executive Director of The Partnership for Inclusive Disaster Strategies, details his on-the-ground experience providing aid in the immediate aftermath of hurricanes and other climate crises
- Julia Watts Belser, director of Georgetown University’s Disability and Climate Change: Public Archive Project, takes Anita into the public archive and talks about how the policy conversations about climate change could benefit from the wisdom in the disability community
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Sharing something special today, an episode of the Love Letters podcast. Love Letters tells stories about romance, marriage, partnership, sex, loss and the human heart, all served with a side of advice by Boston Globe columnist Meredith Goldstein.
On this episode: When Nimish left Nepal for college in the United States, he expected some serious challenges, like adjusting to a new culture and studying in a new language. Finding love was not top-of-mind. But as he got older and started to date more, Nimish’s romantic life became his biggest source of anxiety. Because with each budding relationship came an all-consuming question: How do I explain this to my parents?
You can listen to more Love Letters episodes here.
A significant portion of the funeral home workforce is entering retirement...but there's a crop of young people who are ready to take the helm. Anita meets two young funeral directors who felt called to this work at a young age. They take her inside their world -- from organizing end of life ceremonies to learning how to embalm for the first time. Plus, they share their hopes for a more death-positive future.
Meet the guests:
- Jasmine Berrios, licensed funeral director and embalmer, shares how she got into the industry, how being a funeral director impacts her dating life and how she tries to create boundaries around her work [@jasminethemortician]
- Joél Simone Maldonado, grief care professional and educator known as The Grave Woman, talks about how her family influenced her career choice, how she educates her peers around culturally competent care and the importance of open conversations around death [@thegravewoman]
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Anita has many close friends who defy all stereotypes about only children. But when it comes to thinking about having her own kids, she still can't shake some of those ingrained ideas. She hears three perspectives on single-kid families (including that of former U.S. poet laureate Billy Collins) and learns why the debunked mythology around only children still lingers today.
Meet the guests:
- Lauren Sandler, journalist and author of "One and Only: The Freedom of Having an Only Child, and the Joy of Being One,” shares her personal experience and ways to reframe the negative stereotypes about being and having only children
- Corinne Lyons, a middle school teacher in Detroit, talks about how her childhood being the only child of only children has shaped how she thinks about family
- Billy Collins, former U.S. poet laureate, reads his poem "Only Child" and shares the joy of being an only child
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Buy tickets for our live event on 4/20/24!
True or false? Victorian doctors invented the vibrator to cure women's "hysteria" by bringing them to sexual climax. The answer may surprise you...as it did Anita! She gets the truth about vibrator history from journalist Hallie Lieberman and meets Anna Lee, the engineer behind the first-ever “smart” vibrator that can help you better understand your arousal patterns.
Meet the guests:
- Hallie Lieberman, author of "Buzz: The Stimulating History of the Sex Toy," shares the history of the vibrator and debunks myths and misconceptions around how this sex toy evolved
- Anna Lee, co-founder and head of engineering at Lioness, talks about how her company designed their smart vibrator, how they collect data and what they've learned from their users so far
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Buy tickets for our live event on 4/20/24!
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Dive deeper:
A gender transition is a moment of personal flux that can also have a big impact on a romantic relationship. Anita meets two couples who continued to choose each other after one partner came out as trans: a South African couple in their 20s and an American couple who went through a transition after 22 years of marriage.
Meet the guests:
- Summer Tao and Lucy Aalto, partners and freelance writers in South Africa, describe the unexpected ways in which Summer’s transition brought them closer together and share advice to couples who may be at the beginning of their own queer journeys
- Kate and Patty Redman, wife and wife in Missouri, reflect on changes to their sex life, social circles and religious ties when Kate came out as trans after two decades of marriage
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Buy tickets for our live event on 4/20/24!
No matter how much you love your partner, your relationship will never be totally free from disagreement. And nor should it be, say researchers Dr John Gottman and Dr Julie Schwartz Gottman. We actually just need to learn to argue better. Enjoy this episode from our friends at The Happiness Lab.
The Gottmans join Dr Laurie Santos to talk us through how to raise complaints with our partners and how to react when they complain about us.
Further reading: Fight Right: How Successful Couples Turn Conflict into Connectionby Dr John Gottman and Dr Julie Schwartz Gottman.
American Sign Language is the third-most used language in the U.S. ASL has its own culture and art forms, and for many Deaf folks, ASL is about much more than just communication. Anita talks to Deaf author Sara Nović and Deaf ASL Slam poet Douglas Ridloff about how ASL gave them tools for self-understanding and artistic expression. Then she learns from scholars Carolyn McCaskill and Joseph Hill about Black American Sign Language (BASL), an ASL dialect that emerged because of school segregation.
Meet the guests:
- Sara Nović, author of "True Biz," outlines the history of ASL and how it has influenced her work as a writer
- Douglas Ridloff, visual storyteller, ASL master and executive director of ASL Slam, shares how he learned ASL and became an ASL poet
- Carolyn McCaskill, recently retired professor and director of the Center for Black Deaf Studies at Gallaudet University, talks about attending a segregated school for the deaf — and how integration raised her awareness of Black ASL (BASL)
- Joseph Hill, associate professor in the department of ASL and Interpreting Education at Rochester Institute of Technology, talks about the impact of the research he, Carolyn and two other colleagues have conducted about BASL
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Check out the video version of this conversation: part one is here, and part two is here.
Buy tickets for our live event on 4/20/24!
Anita finds a lot of ASMR videos to be deeply relaxing, but she doesn't get the well-hyped/well-documented 'brain tingles.' Why? She puts the question to a physiologist who's been exploring the science of ASMR for the past decade. Plus, she meets an ASMR artist who's entranced hundreds of thousands of people with her medical role play videos and a woman who turned to the world of Boyfriend ASMR to heal her broken heart.
Meet the guests:
- Craig Harris Richard, ASMR researcher and professor of biopharmaceutical sciences at Shenandoah University, digs into the data on what we know about ASMR, or autonomous sensory meridian response
- Semide, an ASMR artist, talks about the emotional work in her content creation and the parasocial relationships she forms with viewers
- Laura Nagy, filmmaker, writer and podcaster behind the 2021 Audible Original podcast “Pillow Talk,” shares how ASMR content helped her to open up to being vulnerable again
Read the transcript | Review the podcast on your preferred platform
Check out Craig'sASMR podcasts: “Sleep Whispers” and “Calm History”
Buy tickets for our live event on 4/20/24!
Egg donation in the U.S. is a multibillion dollar industry with high stakes and complicated dynamics. Anita talks with two egg donors about why they donated and what they wish they'd known earlier. Plus, a medical anthropologist shines a light on the messy world of donor compensation and why some eggs are valued higher than others.
Meet the guests:
- Julie Ventura, egg donor and nail artist, shares her journey of donating eggs for her best friends to start a family
- Claire Burns, egg donor and Canadian playwright, actor and advocate, explains her concerns with the industry after hearing about lots of varying experiences as the co-founder of the online support group, We Are Egg Donors
- Daisy Deomampo, associate professor of anthropology at Fordham University, breaks down her research into the racialization and commodification of the egg donor market, particularly for Asian American donors
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Buy tickets for our live event on 4/20/24!
The Brazilian butt lift (or BBL) is the fastest-growing cosmetic surgery in recent memory ... but why? Anita learns about the ins and outs of the procedure from a plastic surgeon and a BBL recipient. Then a scholar puts our obsession with big butts in historical context — tracing the conversation from Sir Mix-a-Lot to Kim Kardashian.
Meet the guests:
- Dr. Kelly Bolden, a clinical assistant professor at Howard University and Medical Director and plastic surgeon at CulturaMed, details the procedure and safety factors to consider with a BBL
- Ronte’ Jentel, a Youtube vlogger and personality, shares why he got a BBL and what the surgical process and recovery were like
- Dr. Alisha Gaines, an associate professor of arts and sciences in the department of English at Florida State University, explains the historical roots of the cultural forces propelling the BBL to popularity
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When a loved one dies, a big part of the grieving process involves letting go of the role they once played in your day-to-day life. But with new developments in AI technology … the dead can live on in new and interesting ways. Anita meets a tech journalist who built bots of her parents to see how AI could preserve their memories for the long term. She also talks with a philosophy professor about the ways that ancient Chinese philosophy can address AI's emerging ethical issues and how grief tech fits into a long history of traditions around death and mourning.
Meet the guests:
- Charlotte Jee, news editor for MIT's Tech Review, shares the process of creating her AI parents and a survey of where we are with grief tech today
- Dr. Alexis Elder, associate professor of philosophy at the University of Minnesota Duluth, talks about how Chinese philosophy can guide communal conversations about the future of this technology and how it fits into our society's grieving process
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Science fiction and real-life tech experts have promised a future filled with sex robots. But how many of those predictions will actually come true? Anita talks to an artificial intelligence scholar who's traced sex robots from Greek mythology to the prototypes on the market today. Plus, a writer shines a light on the dark world of a futuristic brothel … explored from the perspective of an AI Sex Bot herself.
Meet the guests:
- Dr. Kate Devlin, a scholar in artificial intelligence and society in the department of digital humanities at King's College London, shares her research into sex robot technology and philosophy
- Sarah Cho, writer and director, talks about her new graphic novel, Red Light, which takes readers into a futuristic AI brothel from the perspective of an AI sex bot named Lacy
Dig Deeper:
Learn more about Kate's book Turned On: Science, Sex and Robots
Find Sarah's graphic novel series Red Light in installmentsonline or find the full collection in paperback July 2024
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When human romance isn't working out, can an AI chatbot successfully take its place? Anita hears varied perspectives on that question. She meets a journalist who got dumped by her AI crush and talks with a woman whose AI companion turned her life around. Plus, psychologist Melissa McCool, the clinical product consultant for AI tech company Luka, takes Anita behind the scenes of making AI companions.
Meet the guests:
- Christina Campodonico, thesenior reporter of arts and culture at The San Francisco Standard, talks about her experience dating a bot named Kyle through the app Blush, and how the relationship met an untimely demise
- Denise Valenciano, a Replika app user, shares how her interactions with her AI companion Star have taught her boundaries and preferences for human relationships
- Melissa McCool, a clinical product consultant at Luka, licensed psychotherapist, and chief product officer at Ellipsis Health, talks about her behind-the-scenes work with building AI companions and why we build strong bonds with digital entities
Dig Deeper:
Read more about Christina's experience dating on Blush in her article, What’s It Like To Date AI? We Tried
Denise and her AI partner Star's NBC Nightly News interview
More about Denise and Star's story: Meet the artificially intelligent chatbot trying to curtail loneliness in America , Mental Health and AI: How Replika users find support from chatbots | IBTimes UK, The Women Falling in Love With Their AI Boyfriends (thecut.com)
Investigate the Replika and Blush apps
To read TJ Arriaga’s interviews with his AI companion, Phaedra, check out his Instagram highlight ‘AI7’
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In the 34 years that guest host Omisade Burney-Scott was a menstruating person, she always felt that blood held more significance than just the biological. She meets an OB/GYN who shares little-known facts about period blood, and talks with two menstrual health advocates about how art and community have connected them to their cycles. Plus, an attorney discusses what she's paying attention to this year in terms of period policy.
Meet the Guests:
- Dr. Charis Chambers, who is known as "The Period Doctor," talks about how period blood can inform menstruators about other things going on in their bodies, and why we don't want to think of a period as "a detox"
- Vianey Blades, a certified exercise physiologist and menstrual embodiment mentor, traces her connections to menstruation activism back to her grandmother and how art has helped her feel connected to her period
- Ashi Arora, a reproductive and menstrual health liberation activist and researcher, shares how complex trauma can affect menstruation and how community has been significant in her experience of her period
- Jennifer Weiss-Wolf, attorney and executive director of the Birnbaum Women's Leadership Center at the NYU School of Law, discusses how and why she coined the term "menstrual equity" in 2015 and what she's paying attention to in terms of period policy this election year
Dig Deeper:
Omisade's work with Black Girl's Guide To Surviving Menopause
Dr. Charis Chamber’s Instagram and TikTok accounts (check her out on YouTube too, why not!)
Explore the Society for Menstrual Cycle Research
Join Vianey's newsletter or sign up for her interactive sister circle meetups
Jennifer Weiss-Wolf’s book Periods Gone Public
Why 2015 was the "Year of the Period"
Learn more about the "tampon tax"
Kiran Gandhi on bleeding and running
The trailer for Lina Lyte Plioplyte's film "Periodical"
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You might have noticed that the word “y’all” is popping up everywhere. For decades, linguists have noted that regional American accents are disappearing. But at the same time, use of this traditionally Southern pronoun is rapidly spreading — and the reasons may surprise you. We hope you learn as much as we did from this special episode from The Broadside, produced by our colleagues at WUNC!
Meet the Guests:
- Brody McCurdy, Linguist and Researcher at NC State
- Antonia Randolph, Assistant Professor of American Studies at the UNC-Chapel Hill
Dig Deeper:
- You can find a transcript of the episode here.
- Check more of The Broadside's episodes here.
Anita is no stranger to anxiety, but her spirals are mostly short lived. In this episode she meets folks who often get caught in loops of extreme worry and compulsions with little relief. A married couple shares how OCD put them in survival mode, and a woman whose OCD symptoms began in kindergarten talks about learning how to open up about her experience in friendships and dating.
Meet the guests:
Dig Deeper:
Nicole's Modern Love essay
Mike and Nicole's Substack, Hey Honey
The website for psychologist Dr. Monnica Williams
OCD advocate Alexandra Reynolds on Instagram
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Anita usually feels better after a good, long cry. But why is that? She explores that question with a poet who spent years diving deeply into the science and culture of crying. And a forerunner of the "crying selfie" trend shares how he pushes back on toxic masculinity by embracing tears.
Meet the guests:
- Heather Christle, poet and author of "The Crying Book," takes us into some of the science of crying and looks at tears through a political and gender-informed lens
- Viorel Tanase, a model and creative director, explains why he decided to share a crying selfie (before the trend took off) and how being vulnerable is part of the human experience
Dig Deeper:
More about the "crying selfie"
Read the transcript | Review the podcast via your preferred platform
Erectile dysfunction affects as many as 30 million people in the U.S. — yet the fears of not being “normal” prevent folks from speaking up about it. Anita meets a man who was silent about his ED for 10 years before getting surgery and opening up to partners…and talks with a sex therapist who challenges the word “dysfunction.” Plus, a 72-year-old describes how he’s redefined intimacy in his 30 years of experiencing ED.
Meet the guests:
- Ven Virah, a public speaker and global healthcare staffing professional, talks about experiencing erectile dysfunction for 10 years before seeking help
- Dr. Reece Malone, a sexologist, sexuality educator and sex therapist, discusses how ED can be a gateway to discussing other relationship, mental or physical problems
- George Marx, a retiree in his 70s who started experiencing ED in his 40s, talks about how he's developed intimate relationships without penetration
Dig Deeper:
Reflections on ED from George's blog
An interview with author Will N. Richards, and his book "Mother" that features a character with erectile dysfunction
Steve Jones’s new book of poetry, Words Woke Me: My Prostate Cancer Journey in Poetry.
The blog, A Touchy Subject, which Steve credits for preserving his sanity during his ED experience
The documentary Hard: The Fight to Solve Erectile Dysfunction, which features personal ED stories and info about inflatable penile prosthesis
Shannon's Facebook group
Please leave us a rating and review in the app you're using to listen to us!
Anita is committed to self-improvement but skeptical of self-help. She brings her qualms and questions to the experts: Kristen Meinzer, a podcaster who has lived by the rules of more than 50 self-help books, and Beth Blum, a scholar who's traced the genre back to its roots. Plus Sondra Rose Marie, a former self-help fan, shares how the industry has failed her as a woman of color.
Meet the guests:
- Kristen Meinzer, pop culture commentator and podcast host, shares what she learned from following the rules of over 50 self-help books
- Beth Blum, Harvard humanities professor and author, talks about the long history of the self-help industry, and how it's changed over the decades
- Sondra Rose Marie, writer, talks about why she started following a self-help guru...and what events made her leave
Dig Deeper:
Kristen's podcasts How To Be Fine and Daily Fail
Beth's book "The Self-Help Compulsion"
Sondra's Medium article on self-help
Stuttering occurs in every culture with a spoken language. So why do many communities treat it as a source of shame? Two speech-language pathologists and a comedian help Anita question cultural assumptions about stuttering and explore the growing movement to embrace speech diversity.
Meet the guests:
- Dr. Derek Daniels, licensed and certified speech-language pathologist and associate professor in the department of Communication Sciences and Disorders at Wayne State University, shares his own experience of stuttering and what we know about what causes stuttering
- Jia Bin, doctoral student at Michigan State University, talks about growing up in rural China with a stutter and what she's hoping to bring back to the stuttering community there
- Nina G, comedian and author of "Stutterer, Interrupted: The Comedian Who Almost Didn’t Happen," explains why she decided to embrace her dream of doing stand-up and shares how her stuttering has impacted romantic and platonic relationships
Dig Deeper:
Follow Nina G's comedy on Instagram
Jia on stuttering as a superpower
Stuttering content on YouTube by Courtland Crain and Matice Ahnjamine
National Stuttering Association website
Anita reconnects with the woman who changed her thinking on incarceration: her beloved college thesis adviser Ashley Lucas. Ashley reflects on her father's 20-year prison sentence and the untold stories of families navigating incarceration from the outside. Journalist Sylvia A. Harvey also shares how losing her mother to asthma and her father to a life sentence in prison before she was 6 years old led her to investigate the carceral system as a whole.
Meet the guests:
- Ashley Lucas, professor of theatre and drama at the University of Michigan, talks about how her experience growing up with an incarcerated father informs her research and led to her play "Doin' Time: Through the Visiting Glass"
- Sylvia A. Harvey, a journalist and author, examines the intersection of the carceral, education and child welfare systems and investigates some of the larger forces shaping the experiences of families with an incarcerated loved one
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Dive deeper:
My Dad Went to Prison When I Was 5. Now I Write About Families Like Mine by Sylvia A. Harvey
An article Ashley wrote about Russell Maroon Shoatz, who served 49 years in Pennsylvania prisons and was the father of seven children
An interview Ashley did with Maroon’s son, Russell III, “Tell a Tale of Two Fathers”
A virtual panel featuring Ashley called “What Prison Does to Children”
Dealing with pimples and blackheads in middle school is practically a right of passage. But when acne is a defining feature of your adulthood... it’s a whole different experience. Anita meets two acne content creators and a photographer who talk about the emotional toll of severe acne, the myth of normal skin, and the responsibility of being today’s skincare influencers.
Meet the Guests:
- Patsy Chem, an acne-positive skinfluencer, shares the experience of getting severe acne in her 20s and how that shaped her social life
- Peter DeVito, photographer behind the "Acne Normalization" project, talks about creating a safe space in portrait photography for models with acne and the ripple effect of those photos
- Cassandra Bankson, a medical esthetician, model and skinfluencer, discusses how she handles the responsibility of challenging beauty standards while also reviewing skincare products and practices
Dig Deeper:
Cassandra's viral video and YouTube channel
NYT on adult acne
Jessica DeFino in Teen Vogue on the myth of "normal skin" and in Vanity Fair on dermatology’s biggest rule that was meant to be broken
Patsy Chem on accepting her acne
More Americans are living into their 90s and 100s than ever before, and it blows Anita's mind that so few people are talking about it! She meets a 94-year-old man who opens up about the changes in his romantic, platonic, and familial relationships, and his two kids join to share their perspectives. Plus, a woman in her 70s introduces Anita to an innovative model for combating social isolation in your senior years.
Meet the Guests:
- Charles Owens, a 94-year-old man living in North Carolina, talks about friendships, love, assisted living and saying goodbye to your waffle iron in old age
- Eddie Owens and Rosa Rouse, Charles' adult children, talk about how their relationship with their father has shifted in the later decades of his life and how they supported him through the changes
- Madeline Franklin, executive director of STL Village in St. Louis, talks about the "village" model that helps adults age in place
Dig Deeper:
Learn more about the broader Village Movement HERE
Anita walked away from her first pole dancing class slightly bruised … but very intrigued. She talks with a veteran stripper about the history and politics of modern pole dancing and meets a pole sport athlete and studio owner who is trying to build an inclusive space for pole practitioners. Plus, a nonbinary pole dancer shares how their relationship with the pole has evolved alongside their gender identity.
Meet the Guests:
Dig Deeper:
Paige Gabert’s studio,Midwest Movement Collective
Advocacy organizationStrippers United, where Nats is on the leadership board
Anita’s pole lesson studio, Aradia Fitness Triangle
Anita has fallen down her fair share of wellness rabbit holes [including a certain alliterative family's beauty and shapewear brands...]. Wellness industry insider and journalist Rina Raphael shares how this $4 trillion industry misleads all of us, and 'Dope Black Social Worker' Kim Young gives us the wellness reframes we all need.
Meet the guests:
- Rina Raphael, author of "The Gospel of Wellness: Gyms, Gurus, Goop and the False Promise of Self-Care,” shares how insidious wellness industry marketing can be
- Kim Young, licensed clinical social worker known as the Dope Black Social Worker, explains how we can take charge of our own wellness ... without buying anything
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What happens when trauma occurs not as a single isolated event, but millions of smaller, ongoing incidents? Guest host Anisa Khalifa talks with an artist, psychotherapist and racial trauma expert about understanding complex post-traumatic stress disorder and the path to healing.
Meet the Guests:
- Fariha Róisín, a multidisciplinary artist and writer, talks about her journey to healing from complex trauma and why her newest book is titled "Survival Takes a Wild Imagination"
- Dr. Karen Winkler, a nurse-psychotherapist with a doctorate in clinical psychology and long-time advocate for people living with chronic illness, discusses the link between complex PTSD and chronic illness and the need for trauma-informed medical care. Dr. Winkler is also a public health advocate in New York City
- Dr. Monnica Williams, professor of psychology at the University of Ottawa and the Canada Research Chair in mental health disparities shares how racism can lead to complex trauma, and her strategies for treating racial trauma
Dig Deeper:
Fariha’s recent book of poetry
Out of the Storm forum and website for discussions and support on having C-PTSD
Racial Trauma & PTSD resources
As a child of two immigrants, Anita has a tumultuous relationship with the question: "Where are you from?" So, too, do many third culture kids — people who spend a significant number of their developmental years living in places that are not their parents' homelands. She talks with two third culture kids — one 35 and one 12 — and their moms about growing up between cultures and how they’ve built identity and relationships along the way.
Meet the Guests:
- Rayla Heide, a senior narrative designer at Blizzard Entertainment, talks about establishing cultural identity as a third culture kid and the grief and joy involved in moving around in childhood
- Madeleine Maceda Heide, an international school leader and modern elder as well as Rayla's mother, shares the advantages of being a third culture kid and the ways she helped their family feel at home wherever they lived
- Phuong Tran, and international journalist and communications consultant for overseas non-profit organizations, talks about her and her son's recent move from Thailand to North Carolina, and what they gained and lost in making that transition
- Kaden Tran, a middle school student, talks about why moving to the US didn't meet up with his expectations and how its impacted his friendships
Guest host Anisa Khalifa first became a fan in high school. She gets an explanation from a psychologist about how being in fandoms benefits mental health, and a journalist describes what role the internet has played in shaping fan culture. Plus, Anisa invites the co-hosts of her K-drama podcast to reflect on how fandom brought them together — and what it means to be a fan.
Meet the guests:
- Lynn Zubernis, a psychologist and professor at West Chester University, talks about what poises some people to become superfans more than others, and how being in a fandom can be mentally beneficial
- Candice Lim, co-host of ICYMI, Slate's podcast about internet culture, talks about how different internet platforms shape fan communities, and the increasing ways that fandom and regular life are overlapping
- Paroma Chakravarty and Saya, Anisa's co-hosts on the podcast Dramas over Flowers, share how the K-drama fandom bonded them together, and what responsibilities fans hold in their communities
Dig Deeper:
Lynn's research and writing on fan psychology
The ICYMI episode on this summer's hacking of AO3
Many autistic people assigned female at birth remain undiagnosed at 18, so what's it like to get an autism diagnosis in your adulthood? Anita meets two women whose paths to a diagnosis started on the internet. Plus a non-binary photographer shares how their late autism diagnosis has informed their marriage and sense of self.
Meet the guests:
- Irene Chon, neurodivergent creator and self-empowerment coach, talks about the challenge of getting assessed for autism as an adult and why working in customer service was kind of the perfect job for her as an autistic person
- Kofi Robinson, a lawyer and TikTok creator, shares how her autistic traits coincide with the expectations for a good lawyer and how she makes solid friendships
- Jenni Chapman, a queer and nonbinary photographer, draws parallels between coming out as queer and coming out as autistic, and how she's preparing to handle noise sensitivity as a parent
Dig Deeper:
A 2022 study on autism and people assigned female at birth
The TikTok account that made Irene realize she was autistic
Jenni's podcast, The Queer Soul Spotlight
Anita hasn't always loved getting her photo taken, but seeing herself through the artistic eye of a close friend and photographer has changed her perspective. She meets two intimate photographers who take her behind the scenes of their shoots and share their philosophies on capturing the erotic in an image. Plus, she talks with a model about her intimate work that explores disability and sexuality.
Meet the guests:
- LaQuann Dawson, an artist and community organizer, shares his passion for documenting the Black, queer community through intimate photography and what it's been like to turn the lens on himself
- Shoog McDaniel, a queer, fat photographer and artist, describes the process of guiding others through intimate, mostly-nude shoots in nature and what it's like to witness them discover new ways of being in their bodies
- Trista Marie McGovern, a writer, photographer, speaker and model, talks about using intimate photography as a tool to explore the intersections of disability and sexuality
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Dive deeper:
Meet the guests:
- Esmé Weijun Wang, a writer, speaker and the author of "The Collected Schizophrenias," talks about navigating medical stigma and the ways that writing and performance have contributed to her understanding of schizophrenia
- Christopher Grant, an artist and animator based in Canada, talks about how he uses drawing to process his moments of psychosis and what it's been like to share his story on TikTok and Instagram
- Ashley Smith, an author and writer who runs the blog "Overcoming Schizophrenia," talks about being a parent with schizophrenia, and what conversations about mental health look like with her 11-year-old son
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Show Extras:
A sampling of Esmé's essays:
- “Perdition Days” - https://the-toast.net/2014/06/25/perdition-days-experiencing-psychosis/
- “On the Ward” - https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/esmewwang/psychiatric-hospital-inpatient-collected-schizophrenias
Ashley’s books:
Anita first learned about surrogate partner therapy from the 2012 movie "The Sessions," and her curiosity was piqued. It's a widely misunderstood and stigmatized type of therapy work in which touch is a mechanism for healing. Two surrogate partners take her inside the day-to-day of their jobs, and a certified sex therapist shares why she hopes others in her industry will be more welcoming to the practice.
Meet the guests:
- Brian Gibney, a surrogate partner, educator and advocate, explains what makes surrogate partner therapy distinct and shares his experience in this work
- Arianna Fernandez, surrogate partner and member of the International Professional Surrogates Association, talks about how her genderqueer identity impacts how they show up in the work
- Deva Segal, a licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist, breaks down her role in surrogate partner therapy and why she recently started incorporating this work into her practice
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Anita agrees to a suggestion posed by a listener: Explore why the hair-pulling disorder trichotillomania is so taboo. She talks with an artist who started pulling their hair more than two decades ago but only recently told her parents…after publishing part of their story in a national news outlet. A psychologist on the front lines of studying trich treatment talks about the importance of acceptance; and a hairstylist with trich takes us into why her salon is a safe haven for other folks with hair loss.
Meet the guests:
- Haruka Aoki, a poet and illustrator who published a comic about their trichotillomania journey in The Washington Post, shares what it was like to learn a term for the disorder later in life
- Dr. Suzanne Mouton-Odum, a licensed psychologist and board member for the TLC Foundation for Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors, describes her counseling work with folks who experience trich
- Dorin Azérad, a hair loss hairstylist, shares how her ongoing journey with trich shapes the services she offers to other folks with hair loss at her salon
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Dive deeper:
Anita has no tattoos but plenty of admiration for the art form that gives us new ways to experience our bodies. She talks with a heavily-tattooed scholar who's interrogated how society treats tattooed women; a queer, Jewish tattoo artist reclaiming body art; and an artist who's pushing back on the misconceptions of tattooing melanated skin.
Meet the guests:
- Beverly Thompson, professor in the sociology department at Siena College in New York, talk about how gender impacts the perception of tattooed bodies
- Joey Ramona, a queer tattoo artist, shares how their Jewish heritage has influenced their tattoo journey
- Oba Moori, owner of PUSH Tattoo Studio in Delaware, talks about tattooing melanated skin and the power of a great tattoo
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Dig deeper…
…into tattoo history: https://theconversation.com/tattoos-have-a-long-history-going-back-to-the-ancient-world-and-also-to-colonialism-165584
…into tattoos as body reclamation: https://www.yesmagazine.org/opinion/2023/06/01/for-the-colonized-body-tattoos-are-reclamation
Anita discovers just how wrong “Fifty Shades of Grey” was about BDSM. A dominatrix and community leader introduce her to kink spaces rooted in community and healing. Plus, a scholar talks about the long history behind our understanding of masochism.
Meet the guests:
- Smoky, the co-founder of Obsidian, shares how she became interested in the world of BDSM, what draws her to the role of submissive and what inspired the creation of Obsidian
- Dia Dynasty, a professional dominatrix based in New York City, talks about the importance of being trauma-informed in domination and the healing opportunities in the BDSM community
- Amber Jamilla Musser, the author of “Sensational Flesh: Race, Power and Masochism” and an English professor at the CUNY Graduate Center, explains the history of the term "masochism" and some of the controversy around masochism in feminist circles
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Anita has heard one resounding truth from her friends who lost a parent in early adulthood: That death was the biggest thing that has ever happened to them. She meets two people who've built specific communities around their grief on the internet and a writer who experienced losing his dad twice.
Meet the guests:
- Liz Zorn, photographer and model, talks about the sudden loss of her father and how it's changed her views on the afterlife
- Naomi Edmondson, grief educator and space holder, shares how the experience of losing two mother figures in her 20s inspired her to create a community group for Black folks who are grieving
- Jeff Dingler, author and journalist, explains how he lost his father twice: first to mental illness when he was 14 and then to death when he was in his 20s
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Dig deeper:
Liz’s YouTube video, “What no one tells you about losing a parent”
Fifteen years ago Anita took Women's Studies 101 on a whim … and to this day, she still doesn't have an answer to the question: what is masculinity? In further pursuit of some clarity, she talks with a trans man and a non-binary person about what's possible when we take a more gender-fluid approach to manhood. The two share where their own beliefs about gender come from and how they're building a more expansive definition of masculinity in their own lives.
Meet the guests:
- Ocean Wei, a rising senior at Kenyon College and a trans writer, explains the roots of his views on masculinity and how they've evolved over time, as he's moved from Beijing to rural Missouri and come out as trans
- Anjan Alavandar, creator of Masq, talks about how they create safe spaces for folks to examine and dissect their own relationships with masculinity
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Anita got friend dumped for the first time in 6th grade, and she's still not over it. She talks to folks about the distinct pain of a platonic breakup and gets some tools for building strong friendships, setting boundaries and figuring out when it's time to let go.
Meet the guests:
- Michelle Elman is an author and life coach best known for her activism campaign Scarred Not Scared. She tells Anita about "the mass exodus" — a period of time in which she went through multiple friend breakups
- Tony Liu is a medical student and former radio and podcast producer for NPR and "On Being." He shares how tenderness informs how he makes and breaks up with friends
- KB Newton is the founder and creator of HEART Convos. She talks about being a recovering "trash friend"
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Anita wouldn't have made it through her 20s without her work friends. But now that she's a manager and working in a hybrid office, she's noticed that work friendships don't come as easily as they used to. A psychologist answers her burning workplace relationship questions and dives into the surprising amount of data about work besties. Plus, a Gen Z writer urges her to re-think the importance of work as a primary social hub.
Meet the guests:
- Dr. Marisa G. Franco, a psychologist and author of "Platonic: How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make — and Keep — Friends," shares the benefits of a work bestie and talks about why employers are invested in these positive relationships in the workplace
- Katherine Hu, assistant editor at The Atlantic, talks about how her generation is navigating the social scene at work
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Anita has no qualms about being an armchair therapist for friends going through a breakup. But sometimes she wonders how her advice aligns with what relationship experts say. Advice columnists Meredith Goldstein and Stacia Brown give guidance on breaking up "well," going no-contact, navigating social media and finding the right breakup anthem for the moment.
Meet the guests:
- Meredith Goldstein, writer and podcast host behind The Boston Globe column and podcast "Love Letters," shares insights from her personal and professional experiences with love and heartbreak
- Stacia Brown, writer and producer, talks about her own pandemic breakup and shares wisdom akin to what she delivers regularly in her role as a columnist for Slate's parenting advice column "Care and Feeding"
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Anita is confused about hook up culture. Is it a thing, and if so, who makes the rules? She talks to a recent college grad about her research on the sex lives of her peers, plus a therapist who shares her take on why it doesn't feel as liberating as we think it should. Then she dives into Celibacy TikTok — a space where Gen Zers are committing to being sex-free.
Meet the guests:
- Sophie Aaron, a writer, researcher and 2021 graduate of Oberlin College shares insights from her senior thesis on hookup culture on her campus in the time of COVID
- Dr. Cherlisa Jackson, a sexual health educator and counselor based in Atlanta, talks about the myths vs. realities of hookup culture
- Cindy Noir, a motivational speaker and TikTok creator, talks about why she has experimented with abstinence in response to hookup culture
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Anita invites her parents back to Embodied for a special bonus episode. She hears their take on our recent episode "Mixed," about growing up biracial. Then she turns the tables and puts herself in the guest seat as her parents ask her a few questions.
Meet the guests:
- Sheila Rao, Anita's mom, shares some of the context surrounding her marriage to Satish and how that influenced the way they raised their children — and asks Anita how she's thinking about these issues as she's building her own mixed race family
- Satish Rao, Anita's dad, talks about the influence of where Anita grew up on their family and asks Anita about the strengths and weaknesses of being biracial
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Anita's nail habit has evolved in the past decade from $10 drop-in manicures to 90 minute appointments with a nail artist. That artist joins her for a conversation about how Black women have shaped nail culture. Plus a fashion historian details nail history from Egyptian mummies to ‘90s Chanel colors, and a Vietnamese-American woman tells the story of growing up inside her parents' nail salons.
Meet the guests:
- Crystal Sanders, nail artist and entrepreneur, shares her business and artistic philosophy and talks about the overlooked role Black women have played in the history of nail art
- Suzanne E. Shapiro, fashion historian and author of "Nails: The Story of the Modern Manicure," explains the historical context of manicures and nail art and ties both art forms into larger cultural forces
- My Ngoc To, Vietnamese-American writer, talks about her experience growing up in the nail salons that her parents owned and how that has influenced her relationship with nail art today
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More context on Black women in nail art
When Anita moved away to college, she experienced a big shift in her biracial identity. Turns out that the questions that emerged for her are ones that many mixed young adults still ponder today ...15 years later. She meets two college seniors and they talk through navigating everything from "Where do I belong?" to "How do I date?" Plus she hears wisdom from a life coach who helps mixed adults tell new stories about identity.
Meet the guests:
- Adiah Siler, a senior at the University of the Arts in Philadelphia, explains how moving out of her small town to go to college allowed her opportunities to explore her Blackness and has influenced her journey as a mixed race person
- Claire Gallagher, a senior at the University of Michigan, shares her own experiences growing up as a mixed race person and brings up some of the anxieties she's had about her identity, especially since attending a predominantly white college
- Sarah Lotus Garrett, a certified life and goal fulfillment coach, emphasizes the confidence and healing that being a part of a mixed race community can bring
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Dig deeper:
Sarah’s program for mixed adults
Claire’s piece on the fetishization of mixed race identities
Anita does not work with her boo, but after sharing home office space for two pandemic years, she's started to wonder how couples who *do* work together make it work. She talks with two sets of couples in very different professional industries about their strategies for tackling finances, alone time and intimacy.
Meet the guests:
- Sarah & Austin McCombie, the married duo behind the North Carolina-based band Chatham Rabbits talk about how they learned to give each other constructive creative feedback
- Brandé Elise and Danielle Gray, co-founders of CBD product and lifestyle company Unoia share why they felt ready to start a business together just three months after they started dating
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Update: Chatham Rabbits is on tour this summer — learn more here. And Unoia is making more of a shift towards CBD for pets — learn more here.
Anita is a bashful sexter, and she's ready to get over her insecurities. A pleasure enthusiast advises her on the art of a good sext; a sexting expert traces the short and spicy history of sexting in this country; and a high schooler breaks down the relationship between sexting and consent.
Meet the guests:
- Penda N’diaye, founder and CEO of Pro Hoe and pleasure enthusiast, shares tips to help Anita get more comfortable with sexting and outlines the importance of consent
- Amy Hasinoff, associate professor in the communication department at the University of Colorado Denver, breaks down the legal landscape of sexting and puts the moral panic over this kind of communication into historical context
- Aaliyah, graduating high school senior and peer educator, explains the role of sexting in her and her peers' relationships and talks about how she's navigated sexting
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Dig deeper:
More information about sexting laws by state
Penda’s “How to Talk Dirty Without Sounding Fake” workbook
Guest host Omisade Burney-Scott is well aware that gentle parenting is a divisive concept. So she's gets into it! Omi talks with two other Black mothers about their definitions of gentle parenting and how it can break cycles of generational trauma. Then her older son shares how he has seen her parenting evolve over the past three decades.
Meet the guests:
- Destiny Bennett, a content creator and mother of three boys, explains why she chooses to describe her parenting philosophy as "intentional" and how important connection and communication is in her parenting
- Trina Greene, mother and founder of the virtual community Parenting for Liberation, outlines her parenting evolution and breaks down how she creates consequences without using punishment
- Ché Nembhard, Omisade's eldest son, reflects with Omi on her three-decade parenting journey
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Destiny’s TikTok and Instagram
Five Accounts to Follow If You’re Curious About Conscious Parenting
Natasha Nelson is a Certified Positive Discipline Educator, veteran and mother to two autistic Black girls. Follow her account for examples of how she practices positive parenting and autism acceptance with her kids.
2. @untigering
Iris Chen is a “deconstructing tiger mom.” Her account, blog and book, “Untigering,” share resources on peaceful parenting and describe the journey she’s gone on from authoritarian parenting to gentle parenting.
Shelly Robinson is a certified family wellness coach and mom of two. She helps parents understand their own traumas and vulnerabilities so they can better create the relationship they want with their child/ren.
4. @mrchazz
Chazz Lewis, or “Mr. Chazz,” is a parenting and teacher coach, helping those who educate and rear children to avoid power struggles and frustration with kids and find joyful, effective strategies for communicating and interacting.
Parenting for Liberation is a virtual community offering resources and connections for Black families, founded by Trina Greene. P4L seeks to help Black families raise children without fear.
Male fertility issues make up half of all infertility cases … but you’d never know it from consuming fertility content through culture, media and even medicine. Anita meets three men breaking the silence in hopes that others get the help and support they need.
Meet the guests:
- Jared Wright, journalist who wrote a piece about his infertility journey for VICE, talks through his first time in a fertility clinic, the treatments he and his wife have undergone since their marriage in 2020 and about his experiences in the infertility space as a Black man
- Dr. Paul Shin, urologist at at Shady Grove Fertility in Washington D.C., explains some of the potential causes of male infertility and what treatments are available
- James D'Souza, a teacher, blogger and podcaster, breaks down his decision to stop pursuing parenthood after a ten year fertility journey with his wife
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Anita passes the mic to our friends at the feminist documentary podcast "Bodies" for an exploration of ADHD and identity. Producer Hannah Harris Green talks about how getting an ADHD diagnosis helped her release the shame she'd been carrying since childhood.
Meet the guests:
- Hannah Harris Green, contributing producer for "Bodies," shares her journey to an ADHD diagnosis as an adult and how the disorder has impacted her entire life
- Matthew, Hannah's partner, talks about how Hannah's ADHD impacts their relationship and helps her come to terms with her diagnosis
- Dr. Andrea Spencer, child psychiatrist and vice chair for research for the Psychiatry Department at Lurie Children's Hospital in Chicago, explains her research on the intersection of ADHD and PTSD
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A growing number of American adults have the same feeling about romantic partnerships: They don’t want one. Anita meets three people who have chosen singlehood: a scholar who examines the double standard of relationship status, a single mother of two by choice and a man shedding toxic masculinity to build a deliberately single life.
Meet the guests:
- Dr. Kris Marsh, associate professor at the University of Maryland and author of “The Love Jones Cohort: Single and Living Alone in the Black Middle Class,” brings us into her research on single, Black Americans and some of the larger structural forces that shape an individual's choice to be single — and how that work has informed her own embrace of singlehood
- Aisha Jenkins, a single mother by choice and the host and creator of the "Start to Finish Motherhood" podcast and blog, shares her journey to becoming a parent and the key relationships that have supported her along the way
- Lucas Bradley, author of "A Single Point of Light" Substack newsletter, explains what he has put into place to create a fulfilling life for himself as a deliberately single man
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Anita's highly-anticipated (and highly-awkward) first kiss was in eighth grade … but she remembers it like it was yesterday! A scientist tells her why our brains respond so strongly to kissing and how our kissing customs have changed over time. She also unpacks the power of a kiss with a photographer who documents queer Black love in public and three Gen-Zers school her on contemporary kissing culture.
Meet the guests:
- Sheril Kirshenbaum, science communicator and author of “The Science of Kissing: What Our Lips Are Telling Us,” explains what's happening in our brains when our lips touch another person's and digs into the cultural history and evolution of kissing
- Kadar Small, photographer, director and filmmaker, shares his photo series "PDA," which aims to highlight and normalize images of Black and brown queer intimacy
- Donna Diaz, Parys Smith and Chris Williams, all current and past WUNC Youth reporters, talk together about their first kisses, how they think about boundaries and what makes a good kiss
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Anita usually feels better after a good, long cry. But why is that? She explores that question with a poet who spent years diving deeply into the science and culture of crying. And a forerunner of the "crying selfie" trend shares how he pushes back on toxic masculinity by embracing tears.
Meet the guests:
- Heather Christle, poet and author of "The Crying Book," takes us into some of the science of crying and looks at tears through a political and gender-informed lens
- Viorel Tanase, a model and creative director, explains why he decided to share a crying selfie (before the trend took off) and how being vulnerable is part of the human experience
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Anita treasures sleep and moments of silence. So when she hears typical narratives of early parenthood that include unending cries and restless nights, she has concerns for the mental toll on new parents. But culturally there is a lot of silence around how challenging it can be and recognizing deteriorating mental health while caring for another person can be isolating. In part two of the postpartum series "Delivered," she meets a prolific artist whose experience with postpartum depression catalyzed a mental health journey and a diagnosis of Bipolar II Disorder. She also talks to a couple about what folks should know about sex and relationships postpartum and why the mental health of non-birthing partners should be part of the postpartum conversation.
Meet the guests:
- A’Driane Nieves, artist and mother of two
- Shannon Purdy Jones, co-owner of Scuppernong Books in Greensboro and mother of two
- Darren Jones, Shannon’s husband and director of Pricing at Mack Trucks, Inc
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Anita has been around enough postpartum folks to know that there's a whole lot they felt unprepared for when it came to how their physical bodies would experience pregnancy and childbirth. In part one of a two-part series, she hears from folks about meeting their new postpartum bodies. A postpartum doula talks about her trauma-informed approach to caring for the physical body; a photographer shares why they're trying to diversify the images we associate with postpartum bodies; and a former Marine talks about navigating the pressures of a highly physical job postpartum.
Meet the guests:
- Lydia-Carlie Tilus, birth and postpartum doula at her practice, SageFemme Wellness, and a certified massage therapist talks about her philosophy on postpartum care
- ash luna, social worker, photographer and founder of the 4th Trimester Bodies Project shares her experience photographing postpartum bodies for more than a decade
- Letticia Solomon, teacher and mother of two takes us into her experience being a postpartum woman in the U.S. Marine Corps
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Anita is no stranger to anxiety, but her spirals are mostly short lived. In this episode she meets folks who often get caught in loops of extreme worry and compulsions with little relief. A married couple shares how OCD put them in survival mode and a woman whose OCD symptoms began in kindergarten talks about learning how to open up about her experience in friendships and dating.
Meet the guests:
- Mike and Nicole Comforto, writers who published a Modern Love essay about how Mike's OCD impacted their marriage, share their story and talk about what led to Mike's diagnosis, what the experience was like for both of them and how Mike's OCD impacts other relationships in his life
- H.T., a writer who wants to remain anonymous for personal and medical privacy, explains how her OCD symptoms first showed up as a young girl, how she navigated getting an OCD diagnosis and how she discloses her OCD to those she is close to
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Here’s a link to the International OCD Foundation, where you can find an OCD specialist near you.
It's a small procedure, but a big question. Anita talks with a urologist about what medical advice to consider while making the circumcision decision (and where medicine doesn't have the answers). She also meets a rabbi and mother who offers alternatives to centuries-old circumcision rituals and hears from a circumcised father raising an uncircumcised son.
Meet the guests:
- Dr. Emilie K. Johnson, a pediatric urologist and associate professor of urology at Northwestern University, answers Anita's questions about the procedure and shares her research on disparities in access to circumcision
- Rabbi Elyssa Cherney, founder of Tackling Torah, talks about the role of circumcision in the Jewish faith tradition, how she works with interfaith couples on what parts of that tradition to follow or preserve — and she explains how she handled the circumcision decision with her son
- Chris Silva, a father, talks about how his thinking on circumcision evolved after his son was born prematurely, from assuming they would have the procedure for his son to ultimately decided not to circumcise
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Anita has interrogated so many aspects of parenthood. But how about the decision to become a parent at all? She talks with three women about making their child-free decisions and meets a psychotherapist who's devoted her career to helping people find clarity in that choice.
Meet the guests:
- Sarah Deavitt, certified holistic nutritionist, talks about her decision to live a child-free life and how taking over care for her grandfather with Alzheimer's solidified that decision
- Samhita Mukhopadhyay, writer and former executive editor of Teen Vogue, shares how watching her friends with kids struggle during the pandemic reinforced her decision to be child-free
- Uriah Rex, a quality assurance representative, explains how her childhood influenced her choice of a child-free life
- Merle Bombardieri, parenting decision coach and author of “The Baby Decision: How to Make the Most Important Choice of Your Life,” shares strategies for those struggling to decide whether or not they'd like to become parents
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Anita sniffs out what's so fascinating about the science of smell — and gets her mind blown. A psychologist shares why smell is our most emotional sense, plus stories about the mental health consequences of anosmia (losing your sense of smell) and a scent designer describes how to re-create memories through candles.
Meet the guests:
- Bonnie Blodgett, author of “Remembering Smell.”
- Rachel Herz, neuroscientist and author of “The Scent of Desire.”
- Christina Degreaffenreidt, founder and creator behind Multifaceted, a candle-making company based in Greensboro.
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Stuttering occurs in every culture with a spoken language. So why do many communities treat it as a source of shame? Two speech-language pathologists and a comedian help Anita question cultural assumptions about stuttering and explore the growing movement to embrace speech diversity.
Meet the guests:
- Dr. Derek Daniels, licensed and certified speech-language pathologist and associate professor in the department of Communication Sciences and Disorders at Wayne State University, shares his own experience of stuttering and what we know about what causes stuttering
- Jia Bin, doctoral student at Michigan State University, talks about growing up in rural China with a stutter and what she's hoping to bring back to the stuttering community there
- Nina G, comedian and author of "Stutterer, Interrupted: The Comedian Who Almost Didn’t Happen," explains why she decided to embrace her dream of doing stand-up and shares how her stuttering has impacted romantic and platonic relationships
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Anita learns about non-sexual, social nudity and why opting to live life mostly in the nude could actually make her think about her body LESS. [This episode originally aired in September 2021.]
Meet the guests:
- Naomi Brown, a reporter and host at WUNC, talks about her personal journey to becoming a practicing naturist
- Jay Shapiro, lead coordinator and president of Triangle Area Naturists LLC, shares how to separate sex from nudity
- Sam and Aleah, creators of Our Natural Blog, share how they're working to bring more young folks into the naturist movement in Florida
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True or false? Victorian doctors invented the vibrator to cure women's "hysteria" by bringing them to sexual climax. The answer may surprise you...as it did Anita! She gets the truth about vibrator history from journalist Hallie Lieberman and meets Anna Lee, the engineer behind the first-ever “smart” vibrator that can help you better understand your arousal patterns.
Meet the guests:
- Hallie Lieberman, author of "Buzz: The Stimulating History of the Sex Toy," shares the history of the vibrator and debunks myths and misconceptions around how this sex toy evolved
- Anna Lee, co-founder and head of engineering at Lioness, talks about how her company designed their smart vibrator, how they collect data and what they've learned from their users so far
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Anita has many close friends who defy all stereotypes about only children. But when it comes to thinking about having her own kids, she still can't shake some of those ingrained ideas. She hears three perspectives on single-kid families (including that of former U.S. poet laureate Billy Collins) and learns why the debunked mythology around only children still lingers today.
Meet the guests:
- Lauren Sandler, journalist and author of "One and Only: The Freedom of Having an Only Child, and the Joy of Being One,” shares her personal experience and ways to reframe the negative stereotypes about being and having only children
- Corinne Lyons, a middle school teacher in Detroit, talks about how her childhood being the only child of only children has shaped how she thinks about family
- Billy Collins, former U.S. poet laureate, reads his poem "Only Child" and shares the joy of being an only child
The name Embodied came to Anita in a dream, and she's on a quest to figure out how that happened. She talks to a dreamworker about strengthening the bridge between dreaming and creativity, unpacks weird COVID-19 dreams and learns about nightmare therapy. [This episode originally aired in March 2022]
Meet the guests:
- Angel Morgan, an artist, filmmaker and the founder of Dreambridge, gives Anita a Dream Science 101 lesson and shares how folks can better connect their dreams to their creativity
- Chris Ufere, the founder and CEO of uDreamed, a free online service for dream logging, talks about analyzing 3,000 COVID19 dreams and what patterns emerged
- Michael Nadorff, an associate professor of psychology at Mississippi State University, shares his research on the link between nightmares and suicide
Anita has fallen down her fair share of wellness rabbit holes [including a certain alliterative family's beauty and shapewear brands...
Meet the guests:
- Rina Raphael, author of "The Gospel of Wellness: Gyms, Gurus, Goop and the False Promise of Self-Care,” shares how insidious wellness industry marketing can be
- Kim Young, licensed clinical social worker known as the Dope Black Social Worker, explains how we can take charge of our own wellness ... without buying anything
After not seeing a drag show for the first 30 years of her life, Anita now dives in. She explores the history and evolution of the artform with a drag scholar-turned-performer; meets a non-binary drag 'thing' pushing boundaries through performance; and talks with a Durham-based drag artist who speaks out against anti-drag violence.
Meet the guests:
- Rose Butch, Vancouver's premiere Drag Thing, explains the origins of the term "Drag Thing" and talks about how their gender transition out of drag has informed — and been informed by — their drag persona
- Larry La Fountain-Stokes, professor at the University of Michigan and author of "Queer Ricans" and "Translocas," dives into the history of drag and shares how his drag persona Lola von Miramar has had an effect on his research
- Naomi Dix, Afro-Latinx drag artist based in Durham, North Carolina and a member of the House of Coxx, talks about how she uses drag as a platform to educate and speak out against anti-queer and anti-drag violence
Anita reconnects with the woman who changed her thinking on incarceration: her beloved college thesis adviser Ashley Lucas. Ashley reflects on her father's 20-year prison sentence and the untold stories of families navigating incarceration from the outside. Journalist Sylvia A. Harvey also shares how losing her mother to asthma and her father to a life sentence in prison before she was 6 years old led her to investigate the carceral system as a whole.
Meet the guests:
- Ashley Lucas, professor of theatre and drama at the University of Michigan, talks about how her experience growing up with an incarcerated father informs her research and led to her play "Doin' Time: Through the Visiting Glass"
- Sylvia A. Harvey, a journalist and author, examines the intersection of the carceral, education and child welfare systems and investigates some of the larger forces shaping the experiences of families with an incarcerated loved one
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Dive deeper:
My Dad Went to Prison When I Was 5. Now I Write About Families Like Mine by Sylvia A. Harvey
Anita and her partner John have started talking more openly about how his hearing loss informs their relationship and how they'll continue to navigate that as they age. She meets another interabled couple (Anna and Vika) who share the sometimes humorous, sometimes challenging moments that accompany sex and dating with hearing loss. Plus, former guest Yat Li returns to talk about deafness, disclosure, and disabled identity.
Meet the guests:
- Anna Pulley, author and columnist, talks about her journey with sex and intimacy as a deaf and hard of hearing person
- Vika Mass, Anna's fiancee, shares how she has adjusted as part of an interabled couple
- Yat Li, disability advocate, inclusive model and creator of “Let There Be Ears” on YouTube, talks about how he learned to self-disclose his deafness
Last October Anita got an e-mail that piqued her curiosity: a story pitch about how anti-fat bias affects people seeking gender-affirming surgery. She hands the mic over to audio journalist H Conley, who follows a 26-year-old Black nonbinary food writer as they overcome repeated barriers to getting top surgery due to body size.
Meet the guests:
- Chala June, an associate editor at "Bon Appétit" magazine, shares their experience of being told to lose weight before getting top surgery
- Dr. Alexes Hazen, a New York City-based aesthetic and reconstructive surgeon who performs top surgeries, explains some of the various factors that come into play for surgeons when considering patients
- Lacie Parker, a psychotherapist who works with queer people and focuses on eating concerns and body image, talks about weight stigma for trans folks
Meet the creator:
- H Conley is a a New York City-based journalist, audio producer and artist. Find more of their audio work here.
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Click here to see the photos that accompany HC’s story.
Anita learned in the early days of this show that there's no such thing as "normal" sexual behavior. But what *is* worth considering: how your relationship with sex affects your life. She meets two women whose compulsive sexual behaviors led them to seek support, and a sex-positive psychologist shares how she helps folks with sex addiction in their recovery.
Meet the guests:
- Krista Nabar, the executive director and founder of the Carolina Sexual Wellness Center, explains her sex-positive approach to hypersexuality and treatment
- Erica Garza, author of “Getting Off: One Woman’s Journey Through Sex and Porn Addiction," shares her history with sex addiction and how she's recovering in a sex-positive way
- Mz. Cici, a content creator on Instagram and TikTok, talks about her efforts to bring more awareness to hypersexuality and her experiences with hypersexuality and bipolar disorder
Anita has not participated in a Dry January, but there are times when she's motivated to pay extra-close attention to her relationship with alcohol. Most recently: during the pandemic. While some of us started drinking more, another group of folks committed to sober curiosity: a movement encouraging introspection about your relationship with alcohol. She meets two people who are years into building sober lives and asks them to reflect on how their sobriety journeys have shaped everything from relationships to thoughts about the future.
Meet the guests:
- J.Nicole Jones, co-host of the “Sober Black Girls Club” podcast and host of “The Grief Bully” podcast talks about choosing sobriety at age 23
- Tawny Lara, co-host of “Recovery Rocks” podcast, shares what it was like to become sober after years working as a bartender
Anita has been unpacking intergenerational trauma ... thanks, in part, to Hollywood. Seeing herself in movies like "Turning Red" and "Everything Everywhere All At Once" has helped her make sense of her own family's challenges. She talks with three women who've investigated how events in their own family histories have rippled through the generations to influence their bodies, parenting and culture.
Meet the guests:
- Dr. Ramona Beltrán, multiracial Chicana, mother, scholar and dancer, shares how generational trauma has manifested in her own family and how "Encanto" is a great example of the different ways intergenerational trauma can show up
- Brandy Wells, a licensed independent social worker and conscious mother of three, talks about how she realized the trauma she inherited once she started having children
- Merissa Nathan Gerson, author and sex educator, explains how her ancestors' Holocaust experiences influence her life today
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Dive deeper:
- “A Survivor’s Granddaughter Visits a Place Haunted by Unshakeable Memories” by Merissa Nathan Gerson
Anita is a sucker for live storytelling, so when she and the Embodied team planned their first in-person event, they knew the vibe they were going for. They invited five people to stand on stage in front of a live audience and explore how purity culture has shaped their faith, relationships and sexuality. In part two, you'll meet a poet and a producer who're questioning what purity culture taught them about sexual identity and masculinity.
Meet the guests:
- Ashley Lumpkin, a poet and educator, shares their story about the talk their parents DIDN'T have with them
- Ryan Clark, co-host of "Touch Podcast," explains how waiting to have sex until marriage impacted his relationship with his wife
Anita met Embodied listeners IRL for the first time earlier this year at the show's first in-person event "Purified." The evening was part late night talk show and part live storytelling. With music DJ-ed by Quilla to set the tone, five people shared their unique experiences with purity culture on stage in front of a live audience. In part one, you'll meet a social worker, preacher and faith leader who take you from church camp to the pews.
Meet the guests:
- Indhira Udofia, a student in the joint program of social work at UNC Greensboro and North Carolina A&T, shares her journey through purity culture and participating in True Love Waits
- Reverend Solomon Missouri, senior pastor at Invitation AME Zion Church, explores how purity culture presents a double standard when it comes to the Christian mandate to care for the sick
- Angie Hong, writer, speaker and founder of Kinship Commons, describes the need for a space to examine and interrogate the ways purity culture harms women of color in particular
Anita has a lot of practice talking about taboo topics with strangers. But when it comes to having these conversations in her own family, especially around the holidays, she gets squirmy like the rest of us. She invites her older sister Priyanka onto the podcast to reflect on tricky — but often inevitable — conversations with family members. Priyanka, a mom and pediatrician, talks about her ongoing journey to broach difficult subjects that come up a lot this time of year: loss, family dynamics and parenting boundaries.
Meet the guest:
- Priyanka Rao, a mom and pediatrician (and Anita's older sister!), shares her parenting philosophy when it comes to some of the thornier issues that come up around the holidays
Anita wouldn't have made it through her 20s without her work friends. But now that she's a manager and working in a hybrid office, she's noticed that work friendships don't come as easily as they used to. A psychologist answers her burning workplace relationship questions and dives into the surprising amount of data about work besties. Plus, a Gen Z writer urges her to re-think the importance of work as a primary social hub.
Meet the guests:
- Dr. Marisa G. Franco, a psychologist and author of "Platonic: How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make — and Keep — Friends," shares the benefits of a work bestie and talks about why employers are invested in these positive relationships in the workplace
- Katherine Hu, assistant editor at The Atlantic, talks about how her generation is navigating the social scene at work
Anita has not lived with her parents since leaving for college. But during the pandemic, many Millennials and Gen Zers returned home. For some of them, especially those with unpartnered parents, this meant new and unexpected insights into their parents’ love lives. Anita shares an episode of the podcast “Dating While Gray” that features conversations between parents and their adult kids about the ongoing search for a happily ever after.
Adult children of single parents … are they a source of emotional support and strength, or a disruptive influence in finding a “happily ever after”? We explore with guests including the millennial daughter of our ever-so-curious host.
After two divorces, Gia’s on the fence about getting back out there. Daughter Lauryn aims to help by sharing ideas and resources, including this podcast. Then there’s gray dater Laura, whose partner seems less than enthusiastic about moving their relationship along. Are his grown kids the reason, or an excuse? Finally, DWG host Laura Stassi and her daughter compare notes on living together while exploring individual romantic pursuits. (How did that no-sleepovers pact turn out?)
Anita hasn't always loved getting her photo taken, but seeing herself through the artistic eye of a close friend and photographer has changed her perspective. She meets two intimate photographers who take her behind the scenes of their shoots and share their philosophies on capturing the erotic in an image. Plus, she talks with a model about her intimate work that explores disability and sexuality.
Meet the guests:
- LaQuann Dawson, an artist and community organizer, shares his passion for documenting the Black, queer community through intimate photography and what it's been like to turn the lens on himself
- Shoog McDaniel, a queer, fat photographer and artist, describes the process of guiding others through intimate, mostly-nude shoots in nature and what it's like to witness them discover new ways of being in their bodies
- Trista Marie McGovern, a writer, photographer, speaker and model, talks about using intimate photography as a tool to explore the intersections of disability and sexuality
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Anita agrees to a suggestion posed by a listener: Explore why the hair-pulling disorder trichotillomania is so taboo. She talks with an artist who started pulling their hair more than two decades ago but only recently told her parents…after publishing part of their story in a national news outlet. A psychologist on the front-lines of studying trich treatment talks about the importance of acceptance; and a hairstylist with trich takes us into why her salon is a safe haven for other folks with hair loss.
Meet the guests:
- Haruka Aoki, a writer and illustrator who recently published a comic about their trichotillomania journey in The Washington Post, shares what it was like to learn a term for the disorder later in life
- Dr. Suzanne Mouton-Odum, a licensed psychologist and board member for the TLC Foundation for Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors, describes her counseling work with folks who experience trich
- Dorin Azérad, a hair loss hairstylist, shares how her ongoing journey with trich shapes the services she offers to other folks with hair loss at her salon
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Anita is getting married next year, which means she's been thinking a lot about money and what kind of spending aligns with her values. Turns out that her money behaviors (and yours) are shaped by experiences and beliefs that have accumulated since childhood. She talks with a financial therapist and a money coach about their work to help people better understand their money hang-ups and explores some unconventional ways to think about your money.
Meet the guests:
- Steven M. Hughes, a financial therapist and money reiki practitioner, helps us go deep when we think about our relationship to money — and how that can help our relationships to each other
- Morgan Curtis, an organizer and money coach, explains how we can translate feelings of shame or guilt about money into tangible action that can help our communities
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The first time we did an episode about the pelvic floor, Anita learned that y'all needed that education just as much as she did. She revisits the topic with a focus on access for trans and gender nonconforming folks. Two providers reflect on the sexuality education that has informed their approaches to treatment, and a patient shares his experience navigating pelvic pain with providers who weren't always well-informed about treating trans patients.
Meet the guests:
- Markus Harwood-Jones, an author and TikTok user under the name @markusbones, shares his experience with pelvic floor physical therapy
- Alex Papale, a pelvic health physical therapist and sex educator, talks about the barriers to pelvic PT for trans, nonbinary and gender nonconforming folks
- Dr. Uchenna “UC” Ossai, a sex-positive pelvic health physical therapist and sexuality counselor, introduces ways that patients can advocate for themselves
Anita is well aware that bringing a new baby into the world is a lotttttt of work (even though she's never done it herself). But when she heard about friends and family members choosing surrogacy to build their families, she realized how little she knows about that process — and how many misconceptions exist. She talks to a three-time surrogate about why she chose this path. A father who has had a child via surrogacy details how his family navigated the process from a financial, legal and emotional perspective; and a sociologist zooms out to give the big picture of the surrogacy industry.
Meet the guests:
- Eloise Drane, founder of Family Inceptions, talks about her experience as a three-time gestational surrogate. Family Inceptions is one of the only Black-owned surrogacy agencies in the country
- Brian McGunagle, founder of Westport Pride, shares his experience going through the surrogacy process with his husband to have their now-toddler son
- Heather Jacobson, professor of sociology at the University of Texas at Arlington, shares her ethnographic research on gestational surrogacy in the United States
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Dive deeper:
- Surrogacy law map state-by-state
- Heather Jacobson’s book “Labor of Love”
After Anita watched the Netflix docuseries "Keep Sweet," it was on her mind for weeks. She sat down with Elissa Wall, one of the central figures in the series, to talk about growing up in an isolated, polygamist religious community in which everything was decided for her – from what she could wear to whom she would marry. Elissa talks about adjusting to life outside the FLDS Church, her process of healing after a traumatic childhood and her ongoing journey of embodiment.
Meet the guest:
- Elissa Wall, speaker, advocate, mother and author, talks to Anita about her upbringing in the FLDS church, her forced marriage at the age of 14, and her ongoing journey to re-establish a relationship to her body after leaving the community. She is the author of the memoir "Stolen Innocence: My Story of Growing Up in a Polygamous Sect, Becoming a Teenage Bride, and Breaking Free of Warren Jeffs."
Please note that this episode contains references to religious trauma, pregnancy loss and sexual assault of a minor.
For most of guest host Omisade Burney-Scott's life, she was a reluctant viewer of horror films — squinting through her fingers long enough to get to the closing credits. In recent years, that trepidation has turned into thrill as she's watched the Black horror genre evolve. She talks with a filmmaker, director and horror scholar about how they see their own experiences reflected in the Black horror renaissance.
Meet the guests:
- Lana Garland, writer, director, producer and curator of the Hayti Heritage Film Festival, reminisces about the Black horror films that left their mark on her and how the genre has evolved
- Dr. Kinitra Brooks, Leslie Endowed Chair in literary studies at Michigan State University, shares her own Black horror memories and examines key ingredients in the genre
- Bree Newsome Bass, artist, organizer and filmmaker, talks about the evolution of the genre both on and off camera
Anita pretty much stopped wearing bras in the pandemic, and she's likely not going back. But she knows that for many, a good bra is clutch for daily comfort. She traces the surprising history and technology of the brassiere with the inventor of the sports bra and an expert who consulted with the Army on their first-ever tactical bra. Then she meets two people whose bra stories bump up against how we define and redefine gender and social norms for ourselves and others.
Meet the guests:
- Lisa Lindahl, an author and entrepreneur, tells the story behind the invention of the sports bra
- Jené Luciana Sena, a bra expert, author and host of the podcast "Visible Panty Lines," explains the technicalities of bra fit and shares her work collaborating with the Army on their first-ever tactical bra
- Destiny Liley, a freelance content creator, talks about the challenges of being a larger-chested person and her thoughts on bralessness
- Ren Gutierrez, a first-generation Latine advocate for queer and trans mental health, reflects on going through his bra collection in the weeks before getting top surgery
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Dive deeper:
- The origins and evolution of the bra
- Behind the invention of the sports bra, via the National Inventors Hall of Fame
Anita has long taken a laissez-faire approach to digital security. But as she's learned (the hard way), just because she doesn't have something to hide, doesn't mean she has nothing to lose. She calls in experts, including an abortion doula and sex worker, to learn strategies for keeping personal information safe online.
Meet the guests:
- Amanda Bennett, a project manager for Digital Defense Fund, walks us through the basics of digital security and shares practical tips
- Kestrel, an abortion doula and member of the Mountain Area Abortion Doula Collective, shares what they and their collective members do to protect themselves
- Dr. Olivia Snow, a sex worker and research fellow at UCLA’s Center for Critical Internet Inquiry, talks about what we can learn from sex workers when it comes to digital security
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Dive deeper:
- How to keep your abortion private and secure, from the Digital Defense Fund
- A report tracking abortion criminalization
- Digital Security tools from the Electronic Frontier Foundation
Anita revisits a conversation with folks who've undergone facial feminization surgery as part of their gender confirmation process. FFS is a set of bone and soft tissue surgical procedures that reshape the forehead, brow, jaw and more. They share what the surgery meant for them, plus a medical anthropologist helps unpack who gets to decide what femininity looks like.
Meet the guests:
- Emma Ward, songwriter, producer and community manager, shares her experience of facial feminization surgery
- Eric Plemons, associate professor of anthropology at the University of Arizona, discusses some of the history of this set of procedures and how we define a "feminine" face
Guest host Omisade Burney-Scott is a proud Aries Sun-Leo moon-Virgo rising and has been looking to the stars since the ‘70s. She and her best friend of over 50 years look back on how astrology influenced their relationship growing up and how they move in the world today. Plus, she talks to two astrologers about how this practice can play a role in social justice movements and in the intersections of our identities.
Meet the guests:
- Cheyanne Headen, a community and de-escalation specialist and Omisade's cousin and best friend, talks about how astrology influences her work and parenting styles
- Jessica Lanyadoo, astrologer and host of "Ghost of a Podcast," explains how our cultural understanding of astrology has evolved and how this practice can be applied to social justice
- Zacchary Powell, astrologer and former president of the Association of Young Astrologers, explores how a spiritual practice of astrology can deepen self-understanding
Anita shares an episode of “This Is Uncomfortable,” a podcast from Marketplace that explores the ways money messes with our relationships and life plans. Rebecca Danigelis never planned to stop working. Raising two kids as a single mom, everything she earned went to making sure they got the best education she could afford. But when her son Sian-Pierre's career took off, hers started to crumble.
Find “This Is Uncomfortable” wherever you get your podcasts. Look out for their next season in early October.
Anita grew up betwixt and between two religious communities and never felt like she fully belonged to either. The upside? She had a lot of room to figure things out on her own. She talks with two people who didn't find that freedom until they left their conservative religions. They tell her about extracting themselves from tight-knit religious communities and reconnecting with their sexuality and identity on their own terms.
Meet the guests:
- Nicole Hardy, writer and author of the memoir "Confessions of a Latter-Day Virgin," tells Anita about why she left the Mormon church as a single woman in her mid-30s, and how that process shaped her sexuality and relationships.
- Dr. Jon Paul Higgins, creator and executive producer of "Black, Fat Femme" podcast, shares their experience growing up as a Jehovah's Witness, what led them to leave, and their ongoing healing work to make sense of religious trauma.
Before recording this episode, Anita would have turned to Google for her burning questions about abortion. But now, she knows better. She meets two abortion doulas who share the practical and philosophical components of their job. They reflect on what has changed for them since the overturn of Roe v. Wade, and what's stayed the same for their alternative and community-based networks of care.
Meet the guests:
- KáLyn Banks Coghill, an abortion doula, writer, organizer, educator and doctoral student at Virginia Commonwealth University, shares their on-the-ground experience serving their community as part of the Richmond Reproductive Freedom Project
- Raven Freeborn, full spectrum doula and community educator, brings us into their work training abortion doulas
If you’re interested in finding an abortion fund or practical support organization in your area and learning more about what they do, these sites may be helpful:
https://abortionfunds.org/funds/
Anita had a terrible 18th birthday (she'll tell you later), but not much changed for her when she legally became an adult. For tens of thousands of young folks in the U.S. each year who turn 18 while in foster care, "legal adulthood" brings a slew of new challenges. Two women who aged out of foster care tell Anita about their experiences and how they informed the relationships they're building today. Plus, she meets someone who's seen the foster care system from both sides — as a kid, and as a foster parent.
Meet the guests:
- Stephani Smith, a mental health professional, shares how her time in foster care shaped her philosophy on relationships — especially the relationship with her stepdaughter
- Ángela Quijada-Banks, holistic purpose coach and author of "The Black Foster Youth Handbook," explains how her foster care experience impacted her romantic relationships
- Jessica Lloyd-Rogers, chair of the National Foster Parents Association Council of State Affiliates, talks about how her own time in the system informed how she parented her daughter and the young people she fostered
Anita is a dog mom. Her wire-haired, bearded terrier Oliver has been her companion through heartbreak, job changes and pandemic turmoil. She's never going to feel ready to say goodbye, but she knows from watching others lose family pets, that pet grief can wreck you, and it's better to acknowledge this reality sooner rather than later. She talks with pet owners, a veterinary social worker, a vet and her own parents about making space for pet grief and memorializing the animal companions we have loved.
Meet the guests:
- Corban Smith, adjunct professor at James Madison University, jail/emergency services clinician at Valley Community Services Board talks about being the pet guardian of the late Dallas
- Sarina Manifold, certified grief recovery specialist and owner of Authentic Healing Counseling shares what it’s like to be a veterinary social worker
- Dr. Erika Lin-Hendel, board member of Not One More Vet and a relief veterinarian, opens up about the veterinary mental health crisis and what community care for vets could look like
Anita's idea of relaxation often involves a good book. She's begun exploring the vast world of romance novels and was surprised to learn how much more diverse the genre has become since the days when Fabio was the only inspiration for sexy book covers. Three neurodivergent authors tell her about writing the characters they longed for as readers and making space for new takes on the "happy ending."
Meet the guests:
- E.S. Yu, author of the paranormal romance “Human Enough” talks about the way indie publishing has welcomed her as a reader and writer
- Ceillie Simkiss, author of two romance novella series, including "Learning Curves" shares her favorite romance tropes to upend in her writing
- Emery Lee, author of "Meet Cute Diary" talks about the art of writing neurodiverse characters in young adult books
Anita does not work with her boo, but after sharing home office space for two pandemic years, she's started to wonder how couples who *do* work together make it work. She talks with two sets of couples in very different professional industries about their strategies for tackling finances, alone time and intimacy.
Meet the guests:
- Sarah & Austin McCombie, the married duo behind the North Carolina-based band Chatham Rabbits talk about how they learned to give each other constructive creative feedback
- Brandé Elise and Danielle Gray, co-founders of CBD product and lifestyle company Unoia share why they felt ready to start a business together just three months after they started dating
Anita has not participated in a Dry January, but there are times when she's motivated to pay extra-close attention to her relationship with alcohol. Most recently: during the pandemic. While some of us started drinking more, another group of folks committed to sober curiosity: a movement encouraging introspection about your relationship with alcohol. She meets two people who are years into building sober lives and asks them to reflect on how their sobriety journeys have shaped everything from relationships to thoughts about the future.
Meet the guests:
- J.Nicole Jones, co-host of the “Sober Black Girls Club” podcast and host of “The Grief Bully” podcast talks about choosing sobriety at age 23
- Tawny Lara, co-host of “Recovery Rocks” podcast, shares what it was like to become sober after years working as a bartender
Anita's now living in one of the few places in the U.S. South without an abortion ban. As her home state becomes the nearest safe provider for millions of people, she's observing how abortion providers here are preparing for the spike in demand. She reconnects with one of them, Dr. Rathika Nimalendran, who has been providing access to abortions in North Carolina for years, to talk about what action she's taking in the wake of the Supreme Court's decision to overturn Roe v. Wade.
Meet the guest:
- Dr. Rathika Nimalendran, family physician with Planned Parenthood South Atlantic and a fellow with Physicians for Reproductive Health talks about what is on her heart and mind in this moment
Anita comes from a tea-drinking family, but she's happiest when she's holding a mug of coffee the size of her face. For years, she's been reading headlines about why coffee is "good" for you, but she's not sure where myth ends and fact begins. So, she turns to the experts: Dr. Rao (her dad) is back to explain why coffee makes you poop, and how it affects your gut. A neuroscientist tells her about what her brain is doing once coffee hits her system. And two folks with deep ties to java talk about coffee culture, from bean to brew.
Meet the guests:
- Dr. Satish Rao, gastroenterologist and professor of medicine at Augusta University (and Anita’s dad), gives Anita the coffee-gut advice she needs
- Dr. Shannon Odell, science communicator and neuroscientist goes Magic School Bus on coffee science
- Samuel Ngwa, founder of Safari Pride Coffee shares how his family’s story as coffee farmers in Cameroon inspired his coffee business today
- Austin Jeffries, co-owner of Borough Coffee mobile coffee cart, talks about his hopes for a more slowed-down coffee culture in the U.S.
Anita treasures sleep and moments of silence. So when she hears typical narratives of early parenthood that include unending cries and restless nights, she has concerns for the mental toll on new parents. But culturally there is a lot of silence around how challenging it can be and recognizing deteriorating mental health while caring for another person can be isolating. In part two of the postpartum series "Delivered," she meets a prolific artist whose experience with postpartum depression catalyzed a mental health journey and a diagnosis of bipolar II disorder. She also talks to a couple about what folks should know about sex and relationships postpartum and why the mental health of non-birthing partners should be part of the postpartum conversation.
Meet the guests:
- A’Driane Nieves, artist and mother of two, talks about her personal story of postpartum depression
- Shannon Purdy Jones, co-owner of Scuppernong Books in Greensboro and mother of two, talks about how her postpartum mental health impacted her marriage
- Darren Jones, Shannon’s husband and director of Pricing at Mack Trucks, Inc, shares his mental health journey as a non-birthing partner, and how therapy has helped support their marriage
Anita has been around enough postpartum folks to know that there's a whole lot they felt unprepared for when it came to how their physical bodies would experience pregnancy and childbirth. In part one of a two-part series, she hears from folks about meeting their new postpartum bodies. A postpartum doula talks about her trauma-informed approach to caring for the physical body; a photographer shares why they're trying to diversify the images we associate with postpartum bodies; and a former Marine talks about navigating the pressures of a highly physical job postpartum.
Meet the guests:
- Lydia-Carlie Tilus, birth and postpartum doula at her practice, SageFemme Wellness, and a certified massage therapist talks about her philosophy on postpartum care
- ash luna, social worker, photographer and founder of the 4th Trimester Bodies Project shares her experience photographing postpartum bodies for more than a decade
- Letticia Solomon, teacher and mother of two takes us into her experience being a postpartum woman in the U.S. Marine Corps
Anita got glasses young, and as a kid every time her prescription got worse, her anxiety about losing her vision spiked. She realizes now how much of that fear was ableism at work. Three artists who've lost their sight and found myriad ways to fortify a culture of blind pride show her it's about disrupting the binary and pushing for a more accessible, creative future
Meet the guests:
- Dr. M. Leona Godin, writer, performer, educator, and the author of "There Plant Eyes: A Personal and Cultural History of Blindness" talks about the term occularcentrism
- James Tate Hill, author of the novel "Academy Gothic" and the memoir "Blind Man’s Bluff" shares his personal story of hiding his low vision from most folks his life for almost 15 years
- Lachi, award-winning recording artist, songwriter, and inclusion advocate shares how she is pushing to make the Grammy’s more inclusive
Anita finally learned how to put on sunscreen properly and care for her body’s largest organ, thanks to medical and skincare industry experts who give advice she revisits in this episode. Their tips helped her figure out what to focus on in her skincare routine, and how to resist the temptation to fall down Tik-Tok beauty rabbit holes.
Meet the guests:
- Dr. Chesahna Kindred, a board-certified dermatologist at the Kindred Hair & Skin Center in Maryland, teaches Anita about the science of the skin and why focusing on a few small things consistently will go a long way
- Anay Castro is a certified physician assistant at the North Carolina Center for Dermatology. She talks about how our skin changes as we age, and why she works to give culturally-sensitive skincare advice
- Leo Louie takes Anita inside the beauty and skincare industry. He shares insights from years working jobs ranging from Sephora brand representative to writer for the website Beauty Tap
Anita turns the mic over to guest host Omisade Burney-Scott to explore the many ways folks are raising kids outside the nuclear family unit. First, Omi talks with her former romantic partner about their evolution from significant other to co-parents. Plus, she meets a woman who is part of a four-person parenting structure and hears from someone who is creating resources for folks in blended families.
Meet the guests:
- Michael Scott, Omisade’s coparent and father of Taj talks about their evolution as partners in parenting
- Zena Sharman, writer, LGBTQ+ health advocate and author of the book “The Care We Dream Of” shares her experience as part of a four-person coparenting structure
- Trina Greene-Brown, founder of Parenting for Liberation, illuminates the existing and needed resources for folks in blended families
Anita knows there's no way she can prepare herself or her loved ones for the ways a terminal illness can alter their lives. But meeting people with incurable conditions, and their loved ones, helps her understand what is possible when time suddenly becomes limited. A couple navigating a terminal ALS diagnosis share their story and how their definition of intimacy has evolved. Plus, a woman in her 20s talks about building a dating profile and keeping her sense of humor when her life expectancy is unknown.
Meet the guests:
- Andrea Lytle Peet, triathlete, person living with ALS and creator of Team Drea Foundation talks about how her definition of intimacy has evolved
- David Peet, Andrea’s husband shares how he and Andrea are constantly in conversation about how to best support one another
- Megan Yaeger, blogger, contributing writer for theMighty.com and an aspiring photographer talks about dating with a life-threatening illness
Anita's clocked hundreds of hours in therapy, and she's a fan. But there's a part of the profession she hasn't tapped yet: sex therapy. This kind of counseling is designed to support couples — and individuals — through challenges with their bodies and in the bedroom. Some experts join her to share how it can help people reconnect, plus she tests a smartphone app that helps folks broach uncomfortable sexual conversations.
Meet the guests:
- Dr. Lauren Walker, a registered clinical psychologist and an associate professor at the University of Calgary, talks about the role of sex therapy for folks with cancer diagnoses
- Dr. Donna Oriowo, a sex and relationship therapist based in Maryland, shares why she invites clients to work at the intersection of where their race meets their sexuality
- Zoë Kors, a consultant for the sexual wellness app Coral, shares how new technology is making sexual wellness more accessible
Anita sniffs out what's so fascinating about the science of smell — and gets her mind blown. A psychologist shares why smell is our most emotional sense, plus stories about the mental health consequences of anosmia (losing your sense of smell), and a scent designer describes how to re-create memories through candles.
Meet the guests:
- Bonnie Blodgett, author of “Remembering Smell" talks about what it was like to lose her sense of smell
- Rachel Herz, neuroscientist and author of “The Scent of Desire" shares how our brain processes scents
- Christina Degreaffenreidt, founder and creator behind Multifaceted, a candle-making company based in Greensboro, talks about the art of scent design
Anita shares an episode of a podcast produced by her colleagues that gets her teary every time she listens (but in a good way). “Black Widow” from the podcast Great Grief features Grammy-nominated musician Nnenna Freelon reflecting on what’s changed for her in the years since her husband Phil’s passing. Nnenna’s now grappling with a brand new identity: widow.
Anita has been inhaling the Netflix show "Sex Education." It's bold, not just in its approach to representation and inclusivity, but also sex. A critic, sex therapist and show superfans join her and guest host Anthony Howard (Embodied's intern) to talk about what the show taught them about self-pleasure, boundaries and methods for healthier sexual relationships.
Meet the guests:
- Drew Gregory, screenwriter, staff writer for Autostraddle, and co-host of the podcast “Wait Is This a Date?” shares the reasons why she's (for the most part) been impressed with how the show handles representation
- Dr. Rosara Torrisi, founding director and senior therapist at The Long Island Institute of Sex Therapy talks about what the show gets right and wrong about the sex therapy profession
- Claire Holland, a writer and host of the Sexy Books Podcast talks about what the show taught her about self pleasure
- Tyra Blizzard, a social activism influencer, shares what they want to see from the show in future seasons
Anita remembers only a few things about her in-school sex education: humor-laden condom demos and pregnancy fear. It's safe to say, she had a lot to figure out on her own after class, and that's typical. Only half of U.S. students get info that meets national standards, so it's clear that something has gotta change! Two high schoolers share why they've taken it upon themselves to give their peers inclusive, shame-free sexuality education. Plus, an expert on college sex lives tells us how the sex ed we receive shapes our adult interactions. And we meet a sex therapist who details how she's talking to her kids without references to birds or bees.
Meet the guests:
- Kyndia Motley, high school student and member of Planned Parenthood’s Teen Council talks about the sex ed she's helping her peers access
- Linden James, high school student and youth advocate for SafeBAE and iNSIDEoUT shares what's at stake if our sex ed curriculums don't change
- Dr. Lexx Brown-James, sex therapist, shame-free sex educator and founder of The Institute for Sexuality and Intimacy talks about the importance of starting conversations with kids early about sex and their bodies
- Dr. Lisa Wade, associate professor at Tulane University and author of "American Hookup: The New Culture of Sex on Campus" shares how limited sex education shapes the experiences of college students
Anita grew up in the 1990s, the era of Purity Culture. Unlike Britney (Spears) and Jessica (Simpson), she had no purity ring, but she's seen how abstinence messaging shaped her generation's relationship with sex, religion, pleasure and their bodies. She talks to two folks who've been unraveling their own indoctrination, and meets someone who's on an mission to help parents recover from purity culture and raise a more sex-positive generation.
Meet the guests:
- Lyz Lenz, the author of "God Land: A Story of Faith, Loss and Renewal in Middle America" and "Belabored: A Vindication of the Rights of Pregnant Women," talks about growing up immersed in purity culture
- Nathanael Novero, a former youth pastor, shares how he's exploring his relationship with purity culture through filmmaking in a new genre called holy erotica
- Cindy Wang Brandt, author of "Parenting Forward: How to Raise Children with Justice, Mercy, and Kindness" and the creator of the "Parenting Forward" podcast talks about how her own break with purity culture informs how she is raising her kids.
Anita declines invites to gender-reveal parties, but she gets why some expectant parents look to gender as a way of organizing the world — they've been socialized to do so. So what happens when a kid comes out as trans or gender nonbinary? Anita talks to three parents of gender-expansive kids about learning to support and advocate for their children. The parents, and one of their kids, share what it's looked like for them to push back on the gender binaries present everywhere: from doctors offices to summer camps and schools.
Meet the guests:
- Harrison Casey Garcia, a member of the Youth Leadership Team at the LGBT Center of Raleigh, talks about their advice to other gender-expansive kids
- Vincent Garcia, Harrison Casey's dad, shares their family's journey to embracing and affirming Harrison Casey's gender identity
- Marlo Mack, a mom, blogger, the host of the podcast “How to Be A Girl" and author of the memoir “How To Be a Girl" tells us about documenting her daughter's transition and confronting her own assumptions about gender
- DeShanna Neal, the founder of the Intersections of Pride Foundation and the co-author with her daughter Trinity of the children's book “My Rainbow" shares how her approach to parenting has evolved through raising two gender-expansive kids
Anita is confused about hook up culture. Is it a thing, and if so, who makes the rules? She talks to a recent college grad about her research on the sex lives of her peers, plus a therapist who shares her take on why it doesn't feel as liberating as we think it should. Then she dives into Celibacy TikTok — a space where Gen Zers are committing to being sex-free.
Meet the guests:
- Sophie Aaron, a writer, researcher and 2021 graduate of Oberlin College shares insights from her senior thesis on hookup culture on her campus in the time of COVID
- Dr. Cherlisa Jackson, a sexual health educator and counselor based in Atlanta, talks about the myths vs. realities of hookup culture
- Cindy Noir, a motivational speaker and TikTok creator, talks about why she has experimented with abstinence in response to hookup culture
The name Embodied came to Anita in a dream, and she's on a quest to figure out how that happened. She talks to a dreamworker about strengthening the bridge between dreaming and creativity, unpacks weird COVID-19 dreams and learns about nightmare therapy.
Meet the guests:
- Angel Morgan, an artist, filmmaker and the founder of Dreambridge, gives Anita a Dream Science 101 lesson and shares how folks can better connect their dreams to their creativity
- Chris Ufere, the founder and CEO of uDreamed, a free online service for dream logging, talks about analyzing 3,000 COVID19 dreams and what patterns emerged
- Michael Nadorff, an associate professor of psychology at Mississippi State University, shares his research on the link between nightmares and suicide
Anita got friend dumped for the first time in 6th grade, and she's still not over it. She talks to folks about the distinct pain of a platonic breakup and gets some tools for building strong friendships, setting boundaries and figuring out when it's time to let go.
Meet the guests:
- Michelle Elman, an author and life coach best known for her activism campaign Scarred Not Scared, tells Anita about "the mass exodus" — a period of time in which she went through multiple friend breakups
- Tony Liu, a medical student and former radio and podcast producer for NPR and "On Being"shares how tenderness informs how he makes and breaks up with friends
- KB Newton, the founder and creator of HEART Convos talks about being a recovering "trash friend"
Anita has no qualms about being an armchair therapist for friends going through a breakup. But sometimes she wonders how her advice aligns with what relationship experts say. Advice columnists Meredith Goldstein and Stacia Brown give guidance on breaking up "well," going no-contact, navigating social media, and finding the right breakup anthem for the moment.
Meet the Guests:
- Meredith Goldstein, writer and podcast host behind The Boston Globe column and podcast "Love Letters," shares insights from her personal and professional experiences with love and heartbreak
- Stacia Brown, writer and producer, talks about her own pandemic breakup and shares wisdom akin to what she delivers regularly in her role as a columnist for Slate's parenting advice column "Care and Feeding"
Anita has a close nuclear family unit but knows that's not the case for everyone. Meeting folks who — by choice or circumstance — are estranged from members of their family, she hears reflections on finding belonging elsewhere and seeking support from non-traditional sources. She also learns from two siblings who were estranged for more than 40 years that while reconciliation is possible, it's not for everyone.
Meet the Guests:
- Raksha Vasudevan, a writer, talks about her estrangement from her father, mother and brother and how being an immigrant shapes how she thinks about her family story
- Tiffany Scott's father left their family and stopped speaking with her in 2016. She talks about what it was like to be ghosted by her dad and how she's still making sense of her family's experience
- Siblings Fern Schumer Chapman and Scott Schumer share their 40-year estrangement story and what led to their reconciliation eight years ago. Fern wrote the book “Brothers, Sisters, Strangers: Sibling Estrangement and the Road to Reconciliation"
Anita figures out why everybody's talking about the pelvic floor. Turns out, getting-to-know the hammock-like structure of muscles we carry around has helped some people heal their relationships with sex and their bodies. She also uncovers the game-changing ways her own dad has contributed to pelvic floor medicine.
Meet the Guests:
- Ijeoma Nwankpa, a certified specialist in pelvic health, trained sexuality counselor and owner of the Center of Pelvic Excellence Physical Therapy & Wellness LLC, gives us an education in pelvic floor health
- Allyson Byers, a freelance writer and editor, shares her personal experience seeking help for pelvic floor pain
- Dr. Satish Rao (Anita's dad), a professor of medicine at Augusta University and a specialist in gastroenterology, hares his work pushing for more collaborative study of the pelvic floor as it relates to the bowels
Anita's voice is her bread and butter, but yours likely means a lot to you too. How we sound speaks volumes about our identities...but should it? A vocalist, a vocal coach and an artist sound out the links between voice and gender, and what our built-in instruments reveal about who we are.
Meet the Guests:
- Tona Brown, a violinist and vocalist who founded Aida Studios, talks about becoming the first trans vocalist to headline at Carnegie Hall and the space she's creating for other students as a music instructor
- Kevin Dorman, a speech-language pathologist and vocal coach at their business Prismatic Speech Services, talks about helping folks change their voice to better reflect their identity
- Andrea Oliver Roberts, a multi-disciplinary artist based in Winnipeg, shares their work explores the intersections of technology, capitalism, and identity
Anita applies herself to learning the fascinating history of her favorite item of makeup: bold red lipstick. Experts and aficionados tell her about influencers who have shaped makeup throughout history, from Rosie the Riveter to Rihanna, and how the cosmetics industry has evolved over time.
Meet the Guests:
- Rae Nudson, the author of "All Made Up: The Power and Pitfalls of Beauty Culture from Cleopatra to Kim Kardashian," takes us through the history of products like bold red lipstick and blue eyeshadow
- Dawn Mitchell, a licensed cosmetologist, talks about the history of inclusivity in the makeup industry and why she founded her own beauty and skincare line Pretty Till Dawn
- Natasha Noir Nightly, an activist and the winner of the Miss Blue Ridge Pride 2018, shares her makeup philosophy and the technique behind her signature look as a bearded drag queen
Anita brings the RESOLVED series to a close by revisiting a conversation about body neutrality. Fat activists teach her about radical reframes, including body positivity and a newer term to her: body neutrality.
Meet the Guests:
- Virgie Tovar, a fat activist, host of the Rebel Eaters Club podcast and author of “The Self-Love Revolution: Radical Body Positivity for Girls of Color" talks about why body neutrality is a helpful step for some in their body liberation journey
- Tigress Osborn, thee chair of the board of directors for the National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance, shares the history of fat liberation and what's been lost as the movement has shifted away from its black, radical roots
- Zoë Bisbing, a psychotherapist and co-founder of the Full Bloom Project, talks about building a research-informed resource for those who want to foster a body-positive next generation
Go deeper with the Anti-Diet series discussion guide
Intuitive eating is an approach to food and health that encourages tuning into your body’s signals about when, what and how much to eat. Anita talks to a neuroscientist about how our brains respond to dieting and two registered dieticians walk her through the 10 principles of intuitive eating and what can change for folks when they relearn their body's food cues.
Meet the Guests:
- Sandra Aamodt, a neuroscientist and author of Why Diets Make Us Fat: The Unintended Consequences of Our Obsession With Weight Loss, talks about the neuroscience of our how we response to food
- Vincci Tsui, a registered dietician and certified intuitive eating counselor, shares her approach to coaching folks through the 10 intuitive eating principles
- Christyna Johnson, a registered dietician and host of the podcast Intuitive Eating for the Culture, explores how moving away from diet culture can help you embrace your cultural heritage
Go deeper with the Anti-Diet series discussion guide
Diet culture is the water we're all swimming in. Anita unpacks the science that props it up with a registered dietician and certified internal medicine physician. She also hears how folks are pushing back against the ways it manifests in the doctor's office, on the trails, and in the gym.
Meet the Guests:
- Christy Harrison, an anti-diet registered dietician and a certified intuitive eating counselor takes us inside the history she explores in her book: "Anti-Diet: Reclaim Your Time, Money, Well-Being, and Happiness Through Intuitive Eating."
- Dr. Louise Metz, an internal medicine physician and the owner of Mosaic Comprehensive Care in Chapel Hill, NC talks about being a Health At Every Size healthcare provider
- Mirna Valerio, also known as "The Mirnavator," is an ultrarunner, marathoner and the author of "A Beautiful Work in Progress," which tells the story of her experience as an athlete in a fat body
- Ilya Parker, a physical therapist assistant, certified medical exercise specialist, and the owner of Decolonizing Fitness, talks about building an online education resource for breaking down toxic fitness and diet culture
- Natalia Petrzela, a historian and a professor at The New School in New York City shares the history of fitness culture
Go deeper with the Anti-Diet series discussion guide
Athletes who push their bodies to muscular limits take Anita inside their physique sport. She explores their personal motivations and talks with a health professional about the toll this kind of training takes on competitors' physical and mental health.
Meet the Guests:
- Coryne Butler, a bodybuilding lifestyle and transformation coach with FitBody Fusion, shares her experience as a woman in the sport of bodybuilding
- Tommy Murrell, a personal trainer and former bodybuilding competitor, explains how his time in the gym helped him to improve his mental health — and grappled with his gender identity
- James Leone, a professor of health and kinesiology at Bridgewater State University, talks about the consequences both physically and mentally of bodybuilding-style training
This episode also features the voices of bodybuilders Joshua Langbein, Alex Edwards, Luke Nathan, Elijah Busier and Alex Tilinca.
Anita stopped wearing real bras in the pandemic. But that doesn't mean she's stopped eyeing lingerie. Lingerie aficionados — including a historian, model and designer — take her inside the world of undergarments: from the history of crotchless panties to how folks are rethinking intimate apparel design to fit a wider range of bodies.
Meet the Guests:
- Cora Harrington, founder and editor-in-chief of The Lingerie Addict blog and author of "In Intimate Detail: How to Choose, Wear and Love Lingerie" shares the history of certain pieces of lingerie, like crotchless underwear
- Jake DuPree, burlesque artist, fitness instructor and lingerie lover with *killer* intimate apparel photo shoots on Instagram, talks about the power he feels when he wears and performs in lingerie
- Catherine Clavering, founder of the UK based lingerie brand Kiss Me Deadly, takes Anita into the lingerie design industry
Anita doesn't slow down...until her body demands it. That's thanks in part to a culture that values productivity, making true rest a challenge for many, especially people from marginalized backgrounds. For Black folks in particular, sleep deprivation has roots in slavery and racial oppression — which makes rest a form of resistance. Hear from people who are reclaiming their right to rest and pushing back against hustle culture through art, therapy and activism.
Meet the Guests:
- Gabrielle Zhuang-Estrin, clinical social worker and psychotherapist, explains how her own relationship with rest has evolved and why rest is so important
- Dom Chatterjee, meditation and yoga teacher of South Asian descent and the community organizer behind Rest for Resistance, discusses the relationship between community and rest
- Fannie Sosa, artist and co-creator of Black Power Naps, a sculptural installation and curatorial initiative, shares the history and philosophy behind their art
- Navild Acosta, artist and co-creator of Black Power Naps, gets into the cultural roots of his art
Anita's parents have told her that they want their aging process to be easy on her and her siblings. But how does that intention become reality? Anita talks to folks who are looking at the aging process head-on and thinking about how to build webs of community and care for their older selves.
Meet the guests:
- Steven Petrow, journalist and author, talks about how watching his parents age has informed what he does and doesn't want for his older self and shares his tangible preparations and mindset shifts about aging
- Vega Subramaniam and Mala Nagarajan, nonprofit social justice consultants, coaches and life partners, share their vision for creating a community in which they can age in place with other queer older folks
Anita learns from folks who identify as the A on the LGBTQIA spectrum. It's a sexual identity that's long been ignored, minimized and misunderstood. They share their differing experiences of not being sexually attracted to anyone and a reminder we could all use: love and sex are not the same.
Meet the guests:
- Angela Chen, journalist and author of “Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society and the Meaning of Sex,” talks about the range of experiences in the ace community, including her own
- Yasmin Benoit, model and asexuality activist, pushes back on assumptions about asexuality with her campaign #ThisisWhatAsexualLooksLike
- Sebastian Yūe writer, editor and model discusses how to increase representation of asexual characters in literature and fiction
Anita meets folks who've undergone facial feminization surgery as part of their gender confirmation process. FFS is a set of bone and soft tissue surgical procedures that reshape the forehead, brow, jaw and more. They share what the surgery meant for them, plus a medical anthropologist helps unpack who gets to decide what femininity looks like.
Meet the guests:
- Emma Ward, songwriter, producer and community manager, shares her experience of facial feminization surgery
- Eric Plemons, associate professor of anthropology at the University of Arizona, discusses some of the history of this set of procedures and how we define a "feminine" face
Anita sometimes fantasizes about no longer having to deal with having a period. But folks along the perimenopausal parkway remind her that menopause is no quick and easy road. Anita's mom and others navigating the change share how it's shaped their relationships with their bodies, sex and where they turn for support.
Meet the guests:
- Sheila Rao, Anita’s mom, shares her experience of bodily changes once menopause set in
- Dr. Anna Camille Moreno, certified menopause practitioner at Duke Health, explains what's happening in the body during menopause and some of the options for symptom management
- Omisade Burney-Scott, Embodied guest host and creator of the Black Girl's Guide to Surviving Menopause, interviews Paris Hatcher, founder of Black Feminist Future, about her experience going through menopause in her 20s
Anita learns about how the smart devices that keep many of us connected have also contributed to the rise of a new type of intimate partner violence. Survivors share stories of tech-enabled domestic abuse and a cybersecurity expert discusses what folks can do about it.
Meet the guests:
- Ashley, a survivor of digital domestic abuse who runs a TikTok account under the name MerelyAshley
- Kathryn Kosmides, a multi-time gender-based violence survivor and founder and CEO of Garbo.io, a background check nonprofit set to launch later this year
- Audace Garnett, technology safety specialist with Safety Net at the National Network to End Domestic Violence
- Eva Galperin, director of cybersecurity at the Electronic Frontier Foundation and a founding partner of the Coalition Against Stalkerware
Read the transcript | Review the podcast
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Anita now knows why sex scenes in some of her favorite recent TV shows look a whole lot more like real life: intimacy coordinators. Two of them join her to talk about their work choreographing intimacy and training everyone on set about how boundaries and structure makes things sexier and more fun.
Meet the guests:
- Mia Schachter is a consent educator and intimacy coordinator who takes Anita behind the scenes of their work on set.
- Teniece Divya Johnson is a stunt performer and intimacy coordinator who shares how we can expand our definition of intimacy.
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Anita finally learned how to put on sunscreen properly and care for her body’s largest organ, thanks to medical and skincare industry experts who give advice she revisits in this episode. Their tips helped her figure out what to focus on in her skincare routine, and how to resist the temptation to fall down Tik-Tok beauty rabbit holes.
Meet the guests:
- Dr. Chesahna Kindred, a board-certified dermatologist at the Kindred Hair & Skin Center in Maryland, teaches Anita about the science of the skin and why focusing on a few small things consistently will go a long way
- Anay Castro is a certified physician assistant at the North Carolina Center for Dermatology. She talks about how our skin changes as we age, and why she works to give culturally-sensitive skincare advice
- Leo Louie takes Anita inside the beauty and skincare industry. He shares insights from years working jobs ranging from Sephora brand representative to writer for the website Beauty Tap
Anita learns daycare for children can continue well into the night thanks to facilities open around the clock meeting the needs of parents working nontraditional hours. Two 24-hour care providers take her into their day-to-day operations and discuss the unique bonds they form with the families they work for. Plus a single mom shares her story of relying on a 24-hour facility to help meet her needs.
Meet the guests:
- Deloris Hogan, co-founder of Dee’s Tots Childcare in New Rochelle, New York, talks about building and running a 24-hour childcare center for more than 30 years.
- Evy Hart, co-owner of Molly’s Daycare Center in Rocky Mount, North Carolina, tells Anita about the unique needs of children and families who use overnight care.
- Ayana Moore, clinical research manager, tells Anita about how 24-hour childcare has supported her schedule as a working single parent of two.
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Anita learns the science behind the most effective form of birth control and hears from a sociologist about how getting a vasectomy transformed his relationship with his masculinity.
Meet the guests:
- Dr. Matt Coward, an associate professor of urology at the UNC School of Medicine, talks about the science of the vasectomy. He is also the director of Male Reproductive Medicine and Surgery at UNC Fertility.
- Ryan Cragun is a sociology professor at the University of Tampa. He shares his experience getting a vasectomy — and the reflections on masculinity and manhood it inspired.
Anita acknowledges that looking in the mirror and loving everything she sees may be unrealistic. Fat activists teach her about radical reframes, including body positivity and a newer term to her: body neutrality.
Meet the Guests:
- Virgie Tovar, a fat activist, host of the Rebel Eaters Club podcast and author of “The Self-Love Revolution: Radical Body Positivity for Girls of Color" talks about why body neutrality is a helpful step for some in their body liberation journey
- Tigress Osborn, thee chair of the board of directors for the National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance, shares the history of fat liberation and what's been lost as the movement has shifted away from its black, radical roots
- Zoë Bisbing, a psychotherapist and co-founder of the Full Bloom Project, talks about building a research-informed resource for those who want to foster a body-positive next generation
Read the transcript | Review the podcast
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Anita's only had a handful of up-close experiences with dying people, and it's something she'd rather not think about. It's the antithesis to the philosophy of some folks she admires: death doulas. They say: Spend more time looking head-on at the inevitable. Respect death, don't fear it. Turns out, this uncomfortable approach may make things more comfortable in the end.
Meet the guests:
- Vivette Jeffries-Logan, a citizen of the Occaneechi Band of the Saponi Nation, a person who holds healing space for those processing death and dying and a founding partner of biwa| Emergent Equity, talks about how she learned to hold ceremonies for folks who are dying.
- Angela Zimmer, a death doula based in Charlotte, talks about how her own experiences of grief informed her desire to help others.
- Dr. Aditi Sethi-Brown, a hospice physician, end-of-life doula and co-founder of the Center for Conscious Living and Dying, shares how she builds relationships with clients like Sara who are in the end-of-life planning process.
- Sara Jenkins, an editor and writer living in Western North Carolina, talks about working with Aditi and preparing for her death amidst a pandemic.
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Anita learns about non-sexual, social nudity and why opting to live life mostly in the nude could actually make her think about her body LESS.
Meet the guests:
- Naomi Prioleau, a reporter and host at WUNC, talks about her personal journey to becoming a practicing naturist.
- Jay Shapiro, lead coordinator and president of Triangle Area Naturists LLC, shares how to separate sex from nudity.
- Sam and Aleah, creators of Our Natural Blog, share how they're working to bring more young folks into the naturist movement in Florida.
- Earl runs the website Clothes Free Life, an online resource about naturism around the globe.
- Patricka is one of the founders of the Black Naturists Association, which advocates nudity through naturist environments for those in the Black community.
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Anita loves a good romantic story — especially when lovers prevail against all odds. There are a million reasons to give up on happily ever after when one or more people in a relationship are incarcerated. But for those who stay together despite prison walls, a special kind of connection is created, as we learn in the season two finale.
Meet the guests:
- Monae and Adriel Alvarado share their one-of-a-kind love story — from meeting inside prison while they were both incarcerated and sending love notes while in solitary confinement to building a life together on the outside.
- Sutina and Steven Green reflect on building a relationship and growing a family while Steven was serving a life sentence without parole in California.
- Jenesee Green, Steven & Sutina's 17-year-old daughter, talks about growing up with an incarcerated father and what she's learned from her parents' love and relationship.
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Anita may not shy away when conversations get uncomfortable, but approaching difficult topics can depend on who you're talking to and which self you're bringing to the discussion. In this special episode, she exchanges notes and kinship with Anna Sale and Allison Behringer, hosts of the podcasts "Death, Sex & Money" and "Bodies" respectively.
Meet the guests:
- Anna Sale, host of "Death, Sex & Money," shares lessons learned from 7 years of hosting hard conversations on the microphone and personal insights detailed in her new book "Let's Talk About Hard Things."
- Allison Behringer, creator and host of "Bodies," a feminist documentary podcast, shares what exploring the mysteries of our health & bodies with has taught her about creating space for hard conversations.
Read the transcript | Watch the event | Review the podcast
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Anita has little trouble knocking out for a good night's sleep. But feeling well rested all the time? That's a little more complicated. Why do our bodies struggle to do what we know is good for us?
Meet the guests:
- Jade Wu, a psychologist and sleep specialist, gives us some sleep science 101 and shares her top tips on battling insomnia.
- Andre Royal Sr. shares how narcolepsy affects his relationships and why he's trying to help folks better understand what narcolepsy looks like through his organization Suddenly Sleepy.
- 15-year-old Jordan tells us about being diagnosed with narcolepsy in third grade, and how he's navigated friendships, school and life ever since.
- Anita's parents talk about what they've learned from dreamland and making sleeping a priority.
- Dayna Johnson, an epidemiologist, tells us about sleep disparities for Black folks and why we should think about sleep as a public health issue.
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Anita surprised herself with judgements she made about others with only a photo to go on during her years of online dating. Such bias and misconceptions are something folks with physical disabilities contend with every day on the apps...and IRL.
Meet the guests:
- Julie-Ann Scott-Pollock, a performer and communication studies scholar, talks about living with spastic diplegic cerebral palsy and what non-disabled people can learn about consent and communication from the disabilities community.
- D'Arcee Charington, a disabilities advocate and English doctoral student, shares stories about online dating as a wheelchair user and talks about how ableism shows up in romantic relationships.
- Ariella Barker, an attorney and communications specialist, talks about how her approach to online dating has evolved and the intersection of gender discrimination and disability discrimination.
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Anita has the skin privilege of a white woman and the upbringing of an Indian-American girl. That can make belonging a challenge, something like what transracial adoptees often experience in their own families.
Meet the guests:
- Shruti Shah talks about growing up as a transracial adoptee in a mixed-race family in Memphis. She also brings on her parents to ask them some lingering questions.
- Writer Andrew Lee and his father are both Korean adoptees. Andrew shares how his family's story fits into the bigger, geopolitical history of Korean-American adoption in the U.S.
- Rebekah Hutson talks about what it's like to be the "Only Black Girl" in a lot of spaces and how she hopes the adoption industry will do a better job supporting transracial adoptees moving forward.
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If Anita weren't boo'd up, she might wonder if there's someone in her life she already knows who is a good romantic match for her. But is it healthy to look to the past for a chance at future happiness? With help from the podcast Dating While Gray, we examine the pros and cons of "boomerang love."
Meet the guests:
- Jeannie Thompson talks about her own boomerang heartbreak that led her to leading online discussion forums on reconnecting with former loves.
- Grace shares what happened when she reconnected with a childhood crush after her long marriage had gone stale.
- Mary and Del, who split after the flame of desire went out in their 20-year marriage, answer the question: Can living separate lives reignite a spark?
Read the transcript | More Dating While Gray
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Anita, like many of us, was essentially taught that a herpes diagnosis means the end of a good sex life. Now it's time for a real education about the sexually transmitted infection, which is extremely common and far less terrifying once you open the door to conversation about it.
Meet the guests:
- Sex and culture critic Ella Dawson talks about her experience navigating a herpes diagnosis and how opening up about it publicly has shaped her life and relationships.
- Infectious disease expert Dr. Peter Leone shares the science of herpes and clears up common misconceptions about the virus.
- Anita's good friend shares the range of responses she's gotten while disclosing her diagnosis and how she hopes the conversation around herpes will evolve.
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Anita is over adulting and would love to lose herself in some serious play time. She's never been a gamer but is intrigued by how video games help us tap into the fun side of our brains while creating spaces designed to help us strengthen our connections with others.
Meet the guests:
- Hadley Causey talks about founding Spectrum, a queer exclusive server on Discord (a social network for gaming communities) that helped them create a safe space they didn't have in real life.
- Tess Tanenbaum, an assistant professor in the department of informatics at University of California, Irvine, talks about the link between game design and relationships that can form within games.
- Adriana de Souza e Silva, a professor in the department of communication at NC State, talks about how location-based games like Pokémon GO can connect adults and kids and help everyone integrate more play into their lives.
- Nikilesh, Anita's little brother, talks about his relationship with gaming, and how it was a lifeline for him when his family moved to the South while he was in high school.
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Anita appreciates how movies and TV are now more representative in portraying narratives about pregnancy termination. But those stories can't compete with talking to real people about their experience having an abortion.
Meet the guests:
- Gretchen Sisson, a sociologist, talks about how television and real life diverge when it comes to abortion — and how fictional portrayals influence our understanding of the procedure and the people who get it.
- Ruth and Margaret share their experiences terminating wanted pregnancies for medical reasons. Both women use pseudonyms in the conversation to protect their privacy.
- Anita's parents on their own abortion story.
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Anita combs through her own tangled relationship with body hair and asks why so many of us invest time and money on removal methods.
Meet the guests:
- Scholar Rebecca Herzig explains when and why we started caring so much about body hair and how hair removal practices have evolved over the centuries.
- Sharan Dhaliwal, founder and editor-in-chief of Burnt Roti, talks about about coming to terms with being a hairy Indian woman.
- Photographer Kristie DeGaris shares how she's raising her daughters to think about their own body hair and trying to normalize NOT removing it.
- Anita's parents on how their upbringings and aging have shaped their views on body hair.
Anita says all the time "what's personal is political." So, she's interested to see how a new presidential administration will affect the ability of transgender Americans to serve in the U.S. military, which has long suffered from barriers to equity for troops and veterans from marginalized communities.
Meet the guests:
- Lt. Col. Bree Fram, the highest-ranking, out transgender officer in the Department of Defense, shares what it meant to come out after Obama lifted the ban on trans service members and the challenges with Trump's reversal of the policy.
- Marine Sgt. Samson Gibbs talks about how he's experienced more support than transphobia as an active duty military.
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Watch "Uneven Battlefield," a live event sponsored by WUNC's American Homefront project to meet more people working toward fair treatment and equity for all U.S. military troops and veterans.
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Anita is all kinds of in love with her newborn niece, a relationship that has her thinking more about motherhood. Her thoughts on the matter are at least somewhat informed by listening to "The Double Shift" podcast, which challenges the status quo for moms. This episode explores the roles of gender and community in raising kids through the story of a transgender man named Ted. Plus, Anita extends an invitation for a virtual hangout.
Anita is admittedly anxious about aging and what she'll have to re-negotiate about her body and her relationships as she gets older. Wisdom wanted.
Meet the guests:
- Omisade Burney-Scott, creator and host of "The Black Girls' Guide To Surviving Menopause" talks about how aging has affected her mind, body and spirit
- Pepper Schwartz, a sociologist, sexologist and relationships expert, talks about how the cultural myths around aging shape how people approach sex and relationships
- Ellen Ashley, talks about getting divorced at 60 and her varied experiences of dating online
- Laura Stassi, host and creator of the podcast "Dating While Gray," shares her personal story that inspired the project
- Anita’s parents talk about the changes they’ve noticed in their aging bodies and how it’s affected their relationship
Read the transcript | Review the podcast | Explore the podcast discussion guide
Anita knows how frustrating it can be to find the right doctor and get good healthcare. Transgender people have to navigate all those challenges and take extra measures to advocate for their wellbeing with medical providers who are too often untrained to treat them.
Meet the guests:
- Max Brown, a transgender teenager living in North Carolina, talks about being misgendered in the healthcare system and how finding a supportive healthcare provider has changed his physical and mental health.
- Frances Brown, Max's mom, talks about advocating for her son and advice for parents of other trans teens.
- Katherine Croft, nurse and program manager for the UNC Transgender Health Program, shares the importance of delivering gender-affirming care.
- Rebby Kern, director of education policy at Equality NC**,** talks about the role in-classroom educators play in creating positive experiences for trans kids.
- Morgan Givens, storyteller and audio producer, talks about his long road to finding a supportive healthcare provider and the difference that doctor has made in his life.
Read the transcript | Review the podcast | Explore the podcast discussion guide
Anita is thinking more and more about entering the club of motherhood. But first, she'd appreciate a reality check on things we don't often talk about — like child care and health concerns around pregnancy and labor.
Meet the guests:
- Angela Garbes, writer and author, talks about the cultural baggage surrounding American motherhood and how she separates the signal from the noise
- Dani McClain, journalist and author, outlines how racial bias shapes the personal and professional experiences of Black mothers
- Katherine Goldstein, journalist and creator of "The Double Shift," talks about rethinking the nuclear family
- Anita’s parents talk about the changes they’ve noticed in their aging bodies and how it’s affected their relationship.
Read the transcript | Review the podcast | Explore the podcast discussion guide
Anita loves podcasts, especially ones that make space for intimate, unexpected conversations. "The Only One In The Room," hosted by Laura Cathcart Robbins, is one of those shows. This episode explores the excitement and emotions of being in an open marriage.
Anita has a gut feeling none of us know as much as we should about the connection between our intestinal health and how our minds work.
Meet the guests:
- Ian Carroll, assistant profession of nutrition at UNC-Chapel Hill teaches us what we need to know about our gut microbiome.
- Lin Chang, a gastroenterologist and co-director of the G. Oppenheimer Center for Neurobiology of Stress and Resilience, explains the science behind the "gut feeling."
- Lydia Greene, a postdoctoral fellow at the Duke Lemur Center, explains what lemur poop teaches us about humans.
- Anita's parents talk about why it was okay to talk about poop at their family dining table.
Read the transcript | Review the podcast | Explore the podcast discussion guide
Anita is a workaholic. Being overworked stresses Anita out. Too much stress leads to poor health. Don't be like Anita.
Meet the guests:
- Amelia Nagoski, conductor and co-author of "Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle" talks about the physical and psychological signals our body sends when its in distress.
- Emilio Vicente, activist and communications manager for Familia: Trans Queer Liberation Movement, shares the unique burnout challenges for activists and how changing his relationship with success has helped him experience less burnout.
- Anita's parents talk about where Anita's tendency to overwork comes from (her dad) and how he's learned the health consequences of burnout the hard way.
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Anita questions whether her inner feminist will ever let her come around to enjoying porn without shame.
Meet the guests:
- Monèt Noelle Marshall, an artist and activist, talks about creating an artistic project exploring sexual shame.
- Shine Louise Houston, founding director and producer of Pink and White Productions, takes us behind-the-scenes of creating ethical porn.
- Mia Little, an adult film actor and content creator, talks about challenging the sexual stereotypes about Asian people while they are hard at work.
- Gina Gutierrez, co-founder and CEO of Dipsea, talks about why audio erotica can help folks access their sexuality.
- Anita's parents talk about their relationship with porn...and Anita's dad surprises them both on mic.
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CORRECTION: Mia Little uses they/them pronouns and identifies as Filipino-American. An earlier edit of this episode used incorrect pronouns to identify them. This has since been corrected. But we're still bummed about it.
Anita realizes she never got 'the sex talk' growing up. And even if she had, it probably wouldn't have gone like this.
Meet the guests:
- Emily Nagoski, author and sex educator, introduces a new framework for thinking about sex and pleasure.
- Carin Bondar, biologist and science communicator, talks about what humans can learn from understanding how sex works in the animal kingdom.
- Anita's parents reflect on why they never gave her the sex talk and what they hope to do differently with their grandkids.
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