Show notes
Three years ago, I read a book that greatly influenced my mothering journey.
It was RESET by Debra Fileta, and I loved it so much that I named it my favorite book of the year. So naturally, I invitedDebra onto the podcast. We recorded this conversation, I was excited to share it with you…and then my whole world got flipped upside down.
And this episode stayed in the archives.
For a while, I was a little embarrassed that I had let three years go by without releasing it. But I've also learned that God's timing is rarely mine, and I'm much more willing these days to trust that He knows what He's doing.
So when I pulled this episode out recentlyand listened to it again, I was kind of blown away by how relevant it is. There are stories in this conversation that I remembered immediately, and there is so much wisdom here that doesn't have an expiration date.
And then I looked up Debra to see what she's been up to these last few years, and I couldn't believe the timing. She just released a brand-new book this week.
So if you've never heard of Debra Fileta before, I'm really excited that you're meeting her through this conversation.Debra is a faith-forward licensed professional counselor, bestselling author, speaker, podcast and nationally syndicated radio host, and the founder of the Debra Fileta Counselors Network, where faith and clinically-informed counseling come together to help people navigate their mental, emotional, and relational health.
She's now the author of eight books, including True Love Dates, Are You Really OK?, Soul Care, RESET, and her newest book, Relationship Skills.
I still 10/10 recommend RESET. It was such an important book for me when I read it, and I would also encourage you to go see what Debra is writing about now, because she has continued to do really thoughtful work around emotional and relational health.
But today, we're going back to this conversation from three years ago.
Debra and I talk about something I think moms especially need to hear: the importance of taking care of ourselves, notas an indulgence, but because when we aren't well, we can't function the way God intends us to.
We talk about saying no as a way of prioritizing what matters, taking a ten-minute pause in the middle of a busy day, why our triggers can reveal places where we still need healing, and how our thoughts lead to our feelings and eventually become our words and behaviors.
We discuss what happens when we get angry and frustrated with our children, underlying beliefs that can hold us back,cognitive distortions, burnout, and what it looks like to mother from a place of discipleship rather than anger.
There are so many lines in this conversation that I could pull out, but one that has stayed with me is this:
“The work of faith is not in the avoiding, it’s in the work of facing.”
And maybe that's part of why this conversation needed to wait.
Three years later, I hear some of these things differently. Maybe you will too.
Debra’s Links:
Website: www.debrafileta.com
IG: @debrafileta
RESET Book: https://link.amazon/B0cc8tNCi
Her Latest Book: https://link.amazon/B09OKcTQk
Elevating Motherhood Links:
Website: www.elevatingmotherhood.com
IG: @loribethauldridge @elevatingmotherhood
This episode was edited & mixed by: Jordan Tallon
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