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    Health

    Editing Our Drinking and Our Lives

    Aidan Donnelley Rowley and Jolene Park talk about their decisions to make an Early Exit from the drinking life, the gray area of drinking and the ongoing edits they make to their lives.

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    Latest Episodes:
    Episode 19 - Special Occasions Jan 04, 2018
    Show notes

    There will always be a holiday, a special event, anniversary, or celebration during the calendar year. It doesn't matter if it's December, April, July or any other month. Aidan talks about her recent holiday party that she hosted and Jolene talks about her first birthday without alcohol. When we shift our focus from the alcohol to the event, conversation, connection and activity it opens up a new realm of experience and possibility of truly being present in social situations.

    Both Aidan and Jolene have found that instead of feeling ostracized or questioned about not drinking, what actually happens is people pull them aside at parties to tell them they are rethinking their own drinking and they are considering cutting back as well.

    Social situations can sometimes feel uncomfortable, but that initial discomfort does pass. This episode ends with how Jolene and Aidan plan to stay connected and present during this holiday season. They share some fun drink options and a reminder that fun enjoyment can and does happen during special occasions without alcohol and everyone doesn't always drink!

    SUBSCRIBE

    Subscribe to 'Edit Podcast: Editing Our Drinking and Our Lives' on iTunes, SoundCloud, or stream on Stitcher, Google Play. Please consider rating us on iTunes. It will help others find our podcast!

    CONNECT WITH JOLENE:

    • Craving Brain Coaching - www.healthydiscoveries.com/coaching/
    • Jolene on Instagram - www.instagram.com/healthy_discoveries/
    • Email: jolene@healthydiscoveries.com

    CONNECT WITH AIDAN:

    • The Dry Life Blog - www.ivyleagueinsecurities.com/the-dry-life/
    • Aidan on Instagram- www.instagram.com/drybeclub/
    • Email: aidandonnelleyrowley@gmail.com
    Episode 18 - Anxiety Part Two Oct 30, 2017
    Show notes

    Jolene talks about the role GABA plays in anxiety and how she used lemon balm, passion flower, holy basil, inositol, and L-theanine in the early days of quitting drinking to help regulate her own anxiety. She talks about how yoga can boost GABA levels as well.

    Aidan mentions the difference between anxiety and stress and Kelly McGonigal's TED Talk on How To Make Stress Your Friend.

    Through self-awareness and self-care practices like quality sleep and a good diet, Aidan finds these help buffer some of the stress she has been going through, along with reaching out, sharing and connecting with others even if it's hard or messy.

    Jolene discusses the benefits she received from somatic experiencing therapy and referenced Peter Levine's work, books, and online videos. There is no right or wrong, good or bad way to set up self-care routines for anxiety. The important thing to think about is what feeds and nourishes you right now? It took Aidan and Jolene time to get to this place (not using alcohol to medicate their anxiety and feel a reduction in anxiety) but they are motivated to continue to create lives that they're passionate about and grateful for as they make their own individual edits.

    SUBSCRIBE

    Subscribe to 'Edit Podcast: Editing Our Drinking and Our Lives' on iTunes, SoundCloud, or stream on Stitcher, Google Play. Please consider rating us on iTunes. It will help others find our podcast!

    CONNECT WITH JOLENE:

    • Craving Brain Coaching - www.healthydiscoveries.com/coaching/
    • Jolene on Instagram - www.instagram.com/healthy_discoveries/
    • Email: jolene@healthydiscoveries.com

    CONNECT WITH AIDAN:

    • The Dry Life Blog - www.ivyleagueinsecurities.com/the-dry-life/
    • Aidan on Instagram- www.instagram.com/drybeclub/
    • Email: aidandonnelleyrowley@gmail.com
    Episode 17 - Anxiety Part One Oct 27, 2017
    Show notes

    Aidan and Jolene talk about their early anxiety stories. Aidan didn't think of herself as an anxious kid, but Jolene did identify as an anxious kid early on and had panic attacks in Junior High. They both resonate with being high achievers who got stuck in a perfectionistic anxious loop in their minds.

    This episode goes deeper into exposing and giving voice to gray area of drinking as a way to regulate and medicate anxiety. With the help of a therapist, Aidan began to realize how much anxiety was actually underneath her drinking. Both Jolene and Aidan realized that drinking actually increased their anxiety. Aidan reads her "I see you" post from Instagram and Jolene reads her Instagram post about her upcoming TEDx talk and how it relates to this subject as well.

    This discussion will be continued on Episode 18 - Anxiety Part Two.

    SUBSCRIBE

    Subscribe to 'Edit Podcast: Editing Our Drinking and Our Lives' on iTunes, SoundCloud, or stream on Stitcher, Google Play. Please consider rating us on iTunes. It will help others find our podcast!

    CONNECT WITH JOLENE:

    • Craving Brain Coaching - www.healthydiscoveries.com/coaching/
    • Jolene on Instagram - www.instagram.com/healthy_discoveries/
    • Email: jolene@healthydiscoveries.com

    CONNECT WITH AIDAN:

    • The Dry Life Blog - www.ivyleagueinsecurities.com/the-dry-life/
    • Aidan on Instagram- www.instagram.com/drybeclub/
    • Email: aidandonnelleyrowley@gmail.com
    Episode 16 - Should You Stop Drinking? Oct 26, 2017
    Show notes

    If you're asking the question, it's probably something you'll want to pay attention to. Sometimes just asking the internal question is more important than getting an external answer from others. Also, if you're questioning your drinking it might be prudent to stop for a short or long period and see if there is something to be gained?

    How much is too much for you? How frequently are you drinking? These can be interesting questions to explore but equally important is the question of how alcohol actually impacts you? Do you have shame and self-loathing around your drinking? Is it getting in the way of your joy and existence? It can be admittedly hard to know how you feel about these questions when you're still drinking. Two other questions you might want to ask are, "What would your life be like without alcohol?" and "How long does the positive impact of drinking last for you?"

    There is a spectrum that this podcast will address is the area of drinking that is still a choice. It can be very empowering to be able to make a decision about your drinking because you choose to, not because you have to. But choice becomes harder the longer you drink. Both Jolene and Aidan agree it was liberating to move into a resolute statement about knowing in their bones they wanted off the drinking merry-go-round for good.

    Ultimately this is a personal choice that requires time and inner reflection!

    SUBSCRIBE

    Subscribe to 'Edit Podcast: Editing Our Drinking and Our Lives' on iTunes, SoundCloud, or stream on Stitcher, Google Play. Please consider rating us on iTunes. It will help others find our podcast!

    CONNECT WITH JOLENE:

    • Craving Brain Coaching - www.healthydiscoveries.com/coaching/
    • Jolene on Instagram - www.instagram.com/healthy_discoveries/
    • Email: jolene@healthydiscoveries.com

    CONNECT WITH AIDAN:

    • The Dry Life Blog - www.ivyleagueinsecurities.com/the-dry-life/
    • Aidan on Instagram- www.instagram.com/drybeclub/
    • Email: aidandonnelleyrowley@gmail.com
    Episode 15 - Introvert Or Extrovert? Oct 25, 2017
    Show notes

    Aidan and Jolene talk about how they view their own introvert and extrovert personalities. How they feel about being alone vs with others as a way to recharge and regenerate. Aidan mentions the book Quiet: The Power Of Introverts In A World That Can't Stop Talking by Susan Cain.

    Aidan also shares this quote from Blaise Pascal: "All of humanity's problems stem from man's inability to sit quietly in a room alone."

    When we take alcohol out of the equation what really happens on the introvert/extrovert scale? For some people, it's harder to be alone at home and not reach for a drink while others might find it harder to be out with others and not drink. But according to Susan Cain, historically the greatest minds are introverts and we need to celebrate introversion more in a world that glorifies extroversion.

    Jolene mentions the book, The Last Best Cure: My Quest To Awaken The Healing Parts Of My Brain and Get Back My Body, My Joy, and My Life by Donna Jackson Nakazawa. This is the book that explains the Orchid/Dandelion gene in more detail. Jolene shares the upside of being an Orchid (sensitive gene). She also touches on Pyroluria - which is a hemoglobin synthesis that has gone awry and can deplete B6 and zinc which can make us feel more socially anxious and introverted.

    They end with the questions of "what are we really camouflaging from the world and ourselves when we're drinking?" And "what are we really hungry for or craving when we're drinking? Is it more connection, solitude, creativity, nature etc? What really feeds our introverted, sensitive selves?

    SUBSCRIBE

    Subscribe to 'Edit Podcast: Editing Our Drinking and Our Lives' on iTunes, SoundCloud, or stream on Stitcher, Google Play. Please consider rating us on iTunes. It will help others find our podcast!

    CONNECT WITH JOLENE:

    • Craving Brain Coaching - www.healthydiscoveries.com/coaching/
    • Jolene on Instagram - www.instagram.com/healthy_discoveries/
    • Email: jolene@healthydiscoveries.com

    CONNECT WITH AIDAN:

    • The Dry Life Blog - www.ivyleagueinsecurities.com/the-dry-life/
    • Aidan on Instagram- www.instagram.com/drybeclub/
    • Email: aidandonnelleyrowley@gmail.com
    Episode 14 - The Count Or Not To Count Sep 15, 2017
    Show notes

    The decision to count or not count alcohol-free days is different for everyone. Jolene and Aidan discuss why they both like counting days and which apps they use. Aidan uses NOMO and Jolene used Good Habits and Quit That.

    Counting days can also be a way to mark and celebrate milestones as well as a way to connect with others within alcohol-free communities. Counting can also help keep the momentum going in the early days. There can be positive aspects to counting down the days (for a 30-90 day alcohol-free challenge) or in counting up the days to track the insights, learning, and changes that happen over time. Wheather you choose to count or not, it's ultimately about 'making the days count' and how we live each day. If counting feels too restrictive try reframing your focus onto a "quest" or personal challenges like a travel quest, exercise, hobby challenge or personal goal.

    SUBSCRIBE

    Subscribe to 'Edit Podcast: Editing Our Drinking and Our Lives' on iTunes, SoundCloud, or stream on Stitcher, Google Play. Please consider rating us on iTunes. It will help others find our podcast!

    CONNECT WITH JOLENE:

    • Craving Brain Coaching - www.healthydiscoveries.com/coaching/
    • Jolene on Instagram - www.instagram.com/healthy_discoveries/
    • Email: jolene@healthydiscoveries.com

    CONNECT WITH AIDAN:

    • The Dry Life Blog - www.ivyleagueinsecurities.com/the-dry-life/
    • Aidan on Instagram- www.instagram.com/drybeclub/
    • Email: aidandonnelleyrowley@gmail.com
    Episode 13 - Sleep + Drinking Dreams Sep 14, 2017
    Show notes

    This episode explores the havoc that alcohol plays on sleep and dreams. Alcohol can contribute to hormone, blood sugar and cortisol imbalances which disrupts sleep patterns in the middle of the night. Jolene mentions the Chinese Medicine theory of why we might be waking up at 3 am as well.

    It can take time (a couple weeks or months) to get sleep patterns back on track after removing alcohol from your life, so be patient. Aidan and Jolene talk about how to assess and evaluate sleep with tracking devices like a Fitbit

    Sleep rebuilds neurotransmitters - GABA and serotonin and B6 and zinc might be helpful for dream recall. Plus, Jolene and Aidan both talk about the troubling aspect of drinking dreams and how real and visceral those dreams feel. Aidan shares a quote, "sleep is the best meditation" from the Dalai Lama. Ultimately sleep can be a really powerful healer when we find our ideal number of sleep hours and personal sleep routine. Jolene shares some coaching tips for better sleep — The Sleep With Me app, Calm magnesium, legs up the wall yoga, and using a light box first thing in the morning to help boost melatonin at night.

    SUBSCRIBE

    Subscribe to 'Edit Podcast: Editing Our Drinking and Our Lives' on iTunes, SoundCloud, or stream on Stitcher, Google Play. Please consider rating us on iTunes. It will help others find our podcast!

    CONNECT WITH JOLENE:

    • Craving Brain Coaching - www.healthydiscoveries.com/coaching/
    • Jolene on Instagram - www.instagram.com/healthy_discoveries/
    • Email: jolene@healthydiscoveries.com

    CONNECT WITH AIDAN:

    • The Dry Life Blog - www.ivyleagueinsecurities.com/the-dry-life/
    • Aidan on Instagram- www.instagram.com/drybeclub/
    • Email: aidandonnelleyrowley@gmail.com
    Episode 12 - The Forever Question Sep 13, 2017
    Show notes

    Aidan and Jolene talk about why they committed to not drinking when they could get away with continuing to drink. Aidan wrote about her long-term commitment/decision in her blog post, Saying I Do To A Life Without Alcohol.

    But let's be honest, when gray area drinkers don't have to stop but choose to stop, it can leave the door slightly open to return to drinking at some point.

    On the flip side, there can be a sense of hope and relief when the firm decision to take alcohol out of your life is made. Jolene shares two of her biggest fears around the forever question and both Aidan and Jolene believe they are better equipped to handle hard situations simply because alcohol is not part of their life anymore.

    They discuss how it helps to put the forever question out of mind and focus instead on experimenting with a period of time —30, 90 days, six months or a year to see for yourself how you feel as a result of not drinking. The accumulation of non-drinking experiences is how you began to prove to yourself that you can cope and manage and handle life in ways you never thought possible. When you focus on what is right in front of you, the not drinking and forever question feels more doable.

    SUBSCRIBE

    Subscribe to 'Edit Podcast: Editing Our Drinking and Our Lives' on iTunes, SoundCloud, or stream on Stitcher, Google Play. Please consider rating us on iTunes. It will help others find our podcast!

    CONNECT WITH JOLENE:

    • Craving Brain Coaching - www.healthydiscoveries.com/coaching/
    • Jolene on Instagram - www.instagram.com/healthy_discoveries/
    • Email: jolene@healthydiscoveries.com

    CONNECT WITH AIDAN:

    • The Dry Life Blog - www.ivyleagueinsecurities.com/the-dry-life/
    • Aidan on Instagram- www.instagram.com/drybeclub/
    • Email: aidandonnelleyrowley@gmail.com
    Episode 11 - Kids/No Kids + Drinking Sep 12, 2017
    Show notes

    Does parenthood or lack of parenthood impact our drinking? Jolene and Aidan discuss how their personal desires to have children intersected with their own drinking. Whether it's the loss of the dream of having a child, the loss of an identity, or the increase of stress and anxiety when becoming a mother, alcohol plays a central role for many women in the kids/no kids equation. One of Aidan's primary motivators to quit drinking was the modeling she wanted to set for her three daughters. Jolene found she was able to deal with her grief from not having kids when she actually stopped drinking.

    SUBSCRIBE

    Subscribe to 'Edit Podcast: Editing Our Drinking and Our Lives' on iTunes, SoundCloud, or stream on Stitcher, Google Play. Please consider rating us on iTunes. It will help others find our podcast!

    CONNECT WITH JOLENE:

    • Craving Brain Coaching - www.healthydiscoveries.com/coaching/
    • Jolene on Instagram - www.instagram.com/healthy_discoveries/
    • Email: jolene@healthydiscoveries.com

    CONNECT WITH AIDAN:

    • The Dry Life Blog - www.ivyleagueinsecurities.com/the-dry-life/
    • Aidan on Instagram- www.instagram.com/drybeclub/
    • Email: aidandonnelleyrowley@gmail.com
    Episode 10 - Socializing Without Alcohol Jul 25, 2017
    Show notes

    Jolene and Aidan talk about how they engage in their social lives without drinking. Both admit they are more of introverts than they once thought. They share some of the phrases they have ready if someone offers them a drink such as, "no thank you", "I don't drink anymore", "I'm good for now" or "I'm on a cleanse." Aidan mentions the importance of being non-judgmental toward drinkers and balancing that with the uncomfortable feelings of being around people who are very inebriated. Ultimately, Aidan and Jolene agree that everyone must decide for themselves what works best when being around people who drink and they acknowledge that we all often overestimate how uncomfortable it will be to be in a situation where others are drinking. Aidan talks about a vacation she went on with other couples when she wasn't drinking and notes that she still had a lot of fun. Both Jolene and Aidan recommend going to weddings, vacations and other events as a non-drinker to get the experience under your belt. The anticipation is often far bigger than the reality. Jolene has found more people actually respect her decision to not drink than they criticize her decision. The hardest parts of a social gathering can be the very beginning or the very end. While it can feel a little awkward in first 20-minutes of arriving at an event the anxiety does typically evaporate. There's nothing wrong with feeling a little awkward or uncomfortable at times; it always passes. It's also important and meaningful to connect with, and seek out, people who don't drink or activities that do not involve always involve drinking. Aidan mentions that she's become part of a book group that doesn't drink and Jolene talks about being part of a yoga community of people who aren't big drinkers. Mix it up, put yourself out there, and feel free to add to or expand your social groups and communities when you stop drinking.

    SUBSCRIBE

    Subscribe to 'Edit Podcast: Editing Our Drinking and Our Lives' on iTunes, SoundCloud, or stream on Stitcher, Google Play. Please consider rating us on iTunes. It will help others find our podcast!

    CONNECT WITH JOLENE:

    • Craving Brain Coaching - www.healthydiscoveries.com/coaching/
    • Jolene on Instagram - www.instagram.com/healthy_discoveries/
    • Email: jolene@healthydiscoveries.com

    CONNECT WITH AIDAN:

    • The Dry Life Blog - www.ivyleagueinsecurities.com/the-dry-life/
    • Aidan on Instagram- www.instagram.com/drybeclub/
    • Email: aidandonnelleyrowley@gmail.com
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