Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

Latest Episodes:

#1023 - 10 Fights Worth Having Jun 30, 2024

Show notes

It is not worth going to war with your child over their preferences. There are going to be more important issues that will require you to stand your ground. These moments can end in a full-blown battle with your child, or by reframing the conversation, you can work through these tough issues, avoiding conflict while still keeping your kids healthy and safe. Listen in to find out how!

(R) This episode originally aired 6/6/22.

Topics discussed in today’s podcast:

Common fights parents have with children
Sleeping, eating
Friends, parties, sleepovers
Social media, alcohol & drugs, intimacy, pornography, dress
Conflict is normal
Is your child's safety at risk?
Control and power struggles
Conversations without conflict
Justin’s ladder metaphor
Prioritising relationship
Preferences vs. principles

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#1022 - The Pursuit of Happiness Jun 27, 2024

Show notes

Are parents really responsible for their kids’ happiness? Doing things purely to make our children happy often results in disappointment—for them and for us. Instead of trying to satisfy our children's insatiable craving for happiness, we share four things to teach them that will help build happiness as a by-product rather than an end in and of itself.

(R) This episode originally aired 1/8/22.

In this episode:

Myth – It’s our job to make our kids happy
Things that could go wrong if you think it’s your job to make your kids happy
Setting our kids up to fail
What ARE we responsible for?
Emotion coaching
Do hard things
Building positive relationships

Related links:

Hopeful Kids Are Happy Kids
Helping Our Kids Feel Good By Doing Good
Purchase Better Together on the Happy Families website – Because a happy family doesn’t just happen.

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#1021 - Parenting Myths Pt 3 Jun 26, 2024

Show notes

Many myths surround parenting, including the misguided beliefs that you can maintain your pre-child lifestyle or that you will instantly connect with your baby or even that teenagers are stupid. Discover why these and other common misconceptions need to be debunked.

(R) This episode originally aired 28/7/22.

In today’s episode:

Babies are intense!
Feeding/sleeping challenges
Pre-child life and routine
Motherhood can be all encompassing
Accepting limitations and boundaries that come with children
Dads bonding with baby
Birth experience can affect connection
Emergency caesarean, postnatal depression
Connection can take time, may require interventional help
Challenging kids
The teenage brain

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#1020 - James Anderson: How to Create Skilful Learners Jun 25, 2024

Show notes

How can we help our children become better learners? When learning is seen as a process of creating abilities rather than discovering abilities, children can embrace challenges as opportunities for growth instead of avoiding them due to fear of failure.

James Anderson and Justin Coulson explore how parents can help children leave their comfort zone and step into their learning zone, to understand that struggle and discomfort are natural and temporary parts of the learning journey and that investing effort results in hard things becoming easy. (R)

This episode originally aired 27/7/22.

In today’s episode:

#529 The Growth Mindset with James Anderson
Learnership
Mindset – fixed vs growth.
Lifelong learners, performance learners, non-learners
Finding and following your strengths
Choosing what you want to become
Learning zones
Comfort zone – easy things you haven’t done yet
You don't get better by doing your best
Effort is the cost of growth
That which we persist in doing becomes easier to do, not that the nature of the thing has changed but that our power to do has increased.”― Ralph Waldo Emerson

Related links:

Learn more about James Anderson – LEARNERSHIP: The Skill Of Learning
The Most Powerful Words We Can Say to Our Children

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#1019 - Parenting Myths Part 2 Jun 24, 2024

Show notes

Myth: "Parents cannot be friends with their child."

Relationships that are based on trust, appropriate disclosure, and respect are still friendships, regardless of whether they are egalitarian or not. Our children need these kinds of relationships with us. But there are limits to this friendship. Justin & Kylie examine the nature of parent-child friendships and how this relationship morphs and grows over time from the early years right up to adulthood.

In this episode:

Can you be friends with your kids?
Parent before friend
What our children need from us
Mistakes parents make when trying to be their child's friend
Permissive parenting
Can you tell whether someone is a good parent by how good their kids turn out?
High level of control can lead to rebellious children
At what point is a child a good person?
Mental health and wellbeing, special needs
Challenging behaviours
Judging parents on a child's behaviour
Children make their own choices
Be the best parent you can be

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#1018 - Parenting Myths Part 1 Jun 23, 2024

Show notes

Are you tired of feeling like your worth as a parent hinges on your child's achievements? In today's podcast, we debunk common parenting myths and explore why it's unhealthy to measure your parenting success by your child's performance.

We discuss the importance of self-care, the balance between personal needs and parental duties, and the critical role of maintaining a strong relationship with your spouse for a thriving family life.

(R) This episode originally aired 25/7/22.

In this episode:

Each child brings a new parenting challenge
Parenting teaches you a lot about yourself
How do we measure our success as a parent?
Balancing the needs of children with self-care
Prioritising your relationship with partner/spouse
What does it mean to be a good parent?

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#1017 - Life Lessons From Laundry Jun 20, 2024

Show notes

Justin is on a mission to use his phone less. Find out what he has done this week that has been a freeing (albeit slightly inconvenient) experience.

In response to last week's episode 'Mum Break', a lot of women are saying they could never leave the kids and go away for a week! Kylie and Justin discuss why this is the case and what can be done to support and encourage mums to take some time out for themselves.

In this episode:

Unplug Childhood
Deleting apps from devices
Dropping social media
The never ending laundry cycle
A shout out to all the extraordinary single parents listening!
"Mum breaks" - why they aren't happening more
The 'martyr syndrome' of motherhood
Dads need to step up

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#1016 - From The Doctor's Desk: Touch Good, Anger Bad Jun 19, 2024

Show notes

We unpack the latest science for parents with three fascinating studies this week: the positive outcomes that come from connecting online, the power of touch and how it has the capacity to ease pain, anxiety, and depression, and how anger is worse for us than we thought.

In this episode:

A Multiverse Analysis of the Associations Between Internet Use and Well-Being by Matti Vuorre and Andrew K. Przybylski
Internet connection and wellbeing
Brain development
Getting the balance right
The power of touch
Vagus nerve and Karen Young
A systematic review and multivariate meta-analysis of the physical and mental health benefits of touch interventions
Stress hormones damage us
Anger Does a Lot More Damage to Your Body Than You Realize
Anger Kills, by Dr Redford Williams
Anger is normal
Stephen Covey - the space between stimulus and response

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#1015 - Beck Delahoy Says Raising Kids is Easy Jun 18, 2024

Show notes

Beck Delahoy explores the paradox of modern parenting: while raising children has never been easier thanks to advancements in health, education, and living standards, parenting itself has become increasingly challenging. However, with these advancements, a "slow life strategy" has emerged, leading to intensive parenting practices doing more harm than good. It’s time to ease up on the intensive parenting and embrace a simpler, more fulfilling approach to raising children.

In this episode:

Beck Delahoy's 'Lessons Learned' Parenting Substack
Life expectancy's pre 1900s
Why raising children into adulthood has never been easier
The 'slow life strategey'
Intensive parenting
Parenting is harder
Time to lower the parenting bar

Related links:

What Your Child Needs From You [Webinar]

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#1014 - The Peace Keeper & The People Pleaser Jun 17, 2024

Show notes

Conflict is a normal, natural part of every healthy relationship, but sometimes our children can become fearful and anxious when parents argue. You can have more productive arguments and model healthy conflict resolution by focusing on the quality of the interaction—the regulation—rather than the resolution itself.

Brittany asks, "How do you teach empathy without creating a people-pleaser?"

We want our children to be helpful, kind, and considerate of others, but not at the expense of their own wellbeing or with unhealthy levels of self-sacrifice. There are three things you can teach your child to prevent them from becoming people-pleasers.

In this episode: