Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

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**Dr Justin Coulson’s Happy Families**

Deciding which parenting advice to follow? Join the thousands of mums and dads who turn to Australia’s most downloaded parenting podcast.

Dr Justin Coulson and his wife Kylie bring real parenting solutions every day, cutting through the noise of modern advice with clear, practical guidance for every step of parenting.

From early childhood challenges to the complexities of the teenage years, each daily episode offers simple, evidence-based strategies to help you feel more confident in your decisions and more connected to your kids.

Latest Episodes:

#1043 - Forcing Kids to Apologise Jul 28, 2024

Show notes

Should we be making our children apologise when they do the wrong thing? What does a sincere apology look like?

In this episode:

Parental Guidance (S1): “Forcing children to apologise is teaching children to lie”
Victim mentality
People pleasing
Ruptured relationships
The Parenting Revolution, by Dr Justin Coulson
Motivation Continuum - extrinsic, introjected, identified, integrated, intrinsic
Is It Wrong to Tell Kids to Apologize? | The Atlantic
Theory of Mind
Why do children apologise under coercion?
Feeling seen, heard, and valued
Repairing relationships
Why don't kids want to apologise?
4 components of a sincere apology

Related links:

Doors are now open to the Happy Families Membership

NEW weekly kids’ ‘Print & Play’ subscription FELT (Fostering Emotional Learning Together)

Find us on Facebook or TikTok

Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

#1042 - Work & Home School Life Balance Jul 25, 2024

Show notes

It has been 9 months of homeschooling for the Coulson crew, with plenty of ups and downs and many lessons learned. One of those lessons is that homeschool is not and cannot just be "school at home". When a child is struggling in a school setting, taking them out of that environment only to set up the same structures and lessons at home doesn't change the challenges that your child is experiencing!

In this episode:

Resilient Kids Conference - (recording available)
Help, hug, or space?
When school isn't working
Homeschooling is not school at home
Letting go of expectations/perceptions
Self-directed learning
Autonomy
Exercise - cycling, swimming
Working from home
Setting boundaries
Steven Covey's "Big Rocks of Life" analogy
The overwhelm of to-do lists

Related links:

Doors are now open to the Happy Families Membership

NEW weekly kids’ ‘Print & Play’ subscription FELT (Fostering Emotional Learning Together)

Find us on Facebook or TikTok

Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

#1041 - Screens Suck Jul 24, 2024

Show notes

Devices can calm our emotional children - but does a screen actually help them to emotionally regulate or is it just distracting them from their emotions in the heat of the moment? Are there long term consequences to letting screens "manage" a child's emotions?

We also talk about a controversial topic - using "screen-time" as a reward! There is an important connection between screen use and children's executive function and emotional regulation, and it's not good news!

In this episode:

Your words have power: @always.upper.elementary
Toothpaste Words: The most important back to school lesson you can do
Should we comment on someone's appearance?
Cure for tantrums? Longitudinal associations between parental digital emotion regulation and children's self-regulatory skills
Using devices as digital pacifiers
Frustration tolerance
Unplug Childhood: Join the village, sign the petition
#1038 - Managing Emotional Dysregulation
Tolerable discomfort
Resilience
Associations between media parenting practices and early adolescent screen use
Social media
Using screens as punishment or reward leads to higher screen use
Alfie Kohn, author of 'Punished by Rewards'
Positive/negative reinforcement
The most important "app" for our children

Related links:

Doors are now open to the Happy Families Membership

NEW weekly kids’ ‘Print & Play’ subscription FELT (Fostering Emotional Learning Together)

Find us on Facebook or TikTok

Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

#1040 - Raising Good Humans With Beck Delahoy Jul 23, 2024

Show notes

Our goal as parents is to raise good humans, but sometimes we actually get in the way of doing that! Beck Delahoy shares three things parents can do to move away from centuries of unhelpful patterns to a better way of parenting.

In this episode:

Lessons Learned | Beck Delahoy | Substack
John B. Watson - 1920's behaviourist
What do we want to do as parents to raise good humans?
- teaching thoughts, values, feelings, acceptable behaviour
History of parenting
Long-term consequences of punishment/reward
- Calculation of Risks
- Blind Conformity
- Revolt
Fostering acceptable behaviour
Moral development
Building emotional regulation

Related links:

Doors are now open to the Happy Families Membership

NEW weekly kids’ ‘Print & Play’ subscription FELT (Fostering Emotional Learning Together)

Find us on Facebook or TikTok

Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

#1039 - Q&A: Teacher Struggles & Home School Hacks Jul 22, 2024

Show notes

Two questions from listeners: Emma asks for advice on helping her 10 year old son who is struggling with being at school, withdrawing from friends, and feeling sad. And Kari, a homeschooling mum of 3 little boys, has requested an update on the Coulson's Homeschooling experience!

In this episode:

The 3 basic psychological needs
Supporting children at school
'School Can't'
Building frustration tolerance
Attention amplifies discomfort
Changing classroom or school
Persistence and consistency
Homeschooling update
Euka Curriculum
Autonomy-supportive structure
Emotional regulation wins

Related links:

Doors are now open to the Happy Families Membership

NEW weekly kids’ ‘Print & Play’ subscription FELT

Find us on Facebook or TikTok

Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

#1038 - Managing Emotional Dysregulation Jul 21, 2024

Show notes

A conversation about what it means to be emotionally regulated or dysregulated, with five quick ideas for parents to help their children regulate well.

In this episode:

What are emotions?
Maladaptive responses
Etymology of 'emotion'
- French: to excite
- Latin: to move
Emotional regulation: The ability to control your emotional state.
Emotional dysregulation: When your emotions are stronger than your ability to act with autonomy.
Amygdala triggers survival/fight/flight mode
Spanish: Tengo hambre (I have hunger)
Developmental realities
Creating a safe and predictable environment
Brené Brown on emotions
#822 The Emotional Lives of Teenagers (Part 1)
Homeschooling

Related links:

The Secret to Regulating Emotions
Emotion Coaching [ Webinar - if you are a HF member you can find this in your video library]

Doors are now open to the Happy Families Membership

NEW weekly kids’ ‘Print & Play’ subscription FELT

Find us on Facebook or TikTok

Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

#1037 - Creating Holiday Traditions Jul 18, 2024

Show notes

Family holidays and traditions are important! Sometimes though, they can feel out of reach - perhaps unaffordable or even impossible. The good news is that traditions don't have to be big, or cost any money, and you don't even need to leave home to create them!

In this episode:

Why traditions matter
Avoid big holidays with little kids
Stick to pools/beaches when they are young
What the research says
Family meals, meetings, or games
One-on-one time with children
Marking milestones
Hamish Blake's epic birthday cake tradition!

Related links:

Family Traditions Help Kids Make Sense of Life

Doors are now open to the Happy Families Membership

NEW weekly kids' 'Print & Play' subscription FELT

Find us on Facebook or TikTok

Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

#1036 - From the Doctor's Desk: Screen Use Bad, Green Space Good Jul 17, 2024

Show notes

Are our attention spans decreasing? Is it possible that the kids really are listening to you but just disagree with what you have to say? Do house plants impact mental health and wellbeing? How does parental screen use affect teen screen use, and why should we avoid using punishments and rewards when it comes to screens? We unpack four studies that will help make your family happier and give you practical tips you can use today!

In this episode:

Are attention spans decreasing?
Short-form videos
Examining the Influence of Short Videos on Attention Span and its Relationship with Academic Performance
Speaking of Psychology: Why our attention spans are shrinking, with Gloria Mark, PhD
Not listening, or just not agreeing?
Disagreement Gets Mistaken for Bad Listening
Green space and mental health benefits
The nature gaze: Eye-tracking experiment reveals well-being benefits derived from directing visual attention towards elements of nature
Indoor / house plants
Physiological Benefits of Viewing Nature: A Systematic Review of Indoor Experiments
Parent screen use VS teen screen use
Impact of screens at the dinner table and in bedrooms
Screen time, video gaming, social media, mobile phone use
Using punishments and rewards around screens leads to lousy outcomes
Associations between media parenting practices and early adolescent screen use

Related links:

Doors are now open to the Happy Families Membership

NEW weekly kids' 'Print & Play' subscription FELT

Find us on Facebook or TikTok

Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

#1035 - Adolescent Anxiety With Dr Jodie Lowinger Jul 16, 2024

Show notes

Dr Jodie Lowinger is recognised as one of the world’s leading anxiety, mindset, and resilience experts. Jodie was a guest speaker in the groundbreaking Breaking Point Digital Conference and today we share a snapshot from her session on 'Girls and Mental Health'.

In this episode:

Sydney Anxiety Clinic - Psychologists
Author of The Mind Strength Method: Four steps to curb anxiety, conquer worry and build resilience
The prevalence of anxiety among adolescent girls
Anxiety is part of our human condition
Gender and anxiety
Multidimensional factors contributing to adolescent anxiety:
- Biological (hormones, genetic predisposition)
- Environmental (social, psychological, technology/social media, FOMO, life experiences)
Parents as therapists?
Emotional intelligence
Empowering parents with skills and tools to build emotional literacy
The need for consistent language
Parents, educators, therapists, child - getting on the same page!
The power of relationship
Parents want to fix things
Undermining a child's capacity to build resilience

Related links:

Brand new Happy Families membership is NOW OPEN and on sale for 3 days!

Find us on Facebook or TikTok

Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

#1034 - Q&A: Making Siblings BFF's & Emotional Expression Jul 15, 2024

Show notes

Every Tuesday Dr Justin answers listener questions about making your family happier! Today we have questions about sibling friendships/conflict, and helping children learn emotional regulation.

Question 1: What can parents do to make their children best friends, and how can sibling conflict/rivalry be eliminated?

Question 2: How can we control our 11 year old son's emotions so that he doesn't get bullied or teased due to his consistent crying at school when things don't go his way?

In this episode: