Disordered: Anxiety Help

In this episode, Josh and Drew discuss a common hurdle in anxiety recovery: the desire to "win" against your anxiety. For many, especially those with perfectionist tendencies, anxiety is viewed as an adversary that has taken something away. This leads to a constant, habitual checking to see if the anxiety is gone, which inadvertently keeps you stuck in a cycle of monitoring and frustration.

We look at why defining recovery as a "win" can be counterproductive.

The Lack of Closure: Unlike a sports match, there is no final bell or celebration when you recover. Recovery often just peters out until you realize you haven't thought about how you feel in weeks.
Examination Compulsions: When you are hell-bent on winning, you might find yourself checking how you feel 50 times a day. Because anxiety involves a doubt response, even a "good" check is often met with more doubt, leading to increased frustration.
The Perfectionist Hurdle: Perfectionists often want to get recovery "exactly right," looking for a certificate or absolute proof that the battle is over.

We explore the idea that true progress isn't measured by the absence of symptoms, but by your willingness to experience them.

Surrender vs. Resistance: While "winning" implies a fight, recovery is found in surrender—not to the anxiety, but to the reality of the moment.
Functional Impact: We discuss measuring success by how much you are living your life, regardless of how you feel. If an adrenaline spike used to stop you for a week and now it only stops you for an hour, that is progress.
The Paradox of Recovery: You know you are winning when you stop asking if you are winning.

We share inspiring stories from our community members who practiced these principles.

The 5K Race: A listener shares how she completed a 5K and set a personal best despite dealing with stomach cramps and the urge to stop.
The London Trip: A community member discusses traveling to London and using the tube while experiencing high anxiety and physical sensations, choosing to lean into the discomfort to attend an important event.
The Wedding Day: A past caller shares her experience of getting married while navigating Relationship OCD (ROCD), proving that you can have a beautiful, meaningful day even when your internal experience is difficult.

Ultimately, the win isn't when the anxiety leaves; the win is when it doesn't matter that it's there.

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Want to talk about this episode, interact with us, and communicate with others that are sharing your experience? We're hanging out in the Disordered Community Space

⁠https://www.disordered.fm/the-disordered-guide-to-health-anxiety/⁠

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The Disordered Guide to Health Anxiety is available now:

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Struggling with worry and rumination that you feel you can't stop or control? Check out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Worry and Rumination Explained⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, a two hour pre-recorded workshop produced by Josh and Drew.

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Disclaimer: Disordered is not therapy or a replacement for therapy. Listening to Disordered does not create a therapeutic relationship between you and the hosts or guests of the podcast. Information here is provided for psychoeducational purposes. As always, please consult your mental health and/or medical care providers. If you are having a mental health crisis, always reach out immediately for in-person help.

Let Me Tell You How I Feel (Episode 153) Apr 24, 2026

Show notes

Let's start with a success story from the UK. While being medically monitored for four hours, our listener realized how much attention she was giving to her physical symptoms. Her story highlights the difference between noticing a sensation and compulsively monitoring it.

Which leads us to a conversation about the urge to ALWAYS talk about how you feel - either out loud or silently in an internal dialogue.

We discuss the "telling compulsion," which is a common behavior for those struggling with anxiety and OCD. This is the urge to immediately report every physical sensation or intrusive thought to someone else.

The Safety Seek: Telling others how you feel is often a safety behavior used to gain temporary reassurance.
The "Problem Shared" Myth: While talking about emotions is generally seen as healthy, in the context of an anxiety disorder, it can become a repetitive loop that keeps the brain in a state of high alert.
Internal Monitoring: You don't have to say it out loud for it to be a compulsion. Constantly checking in with yourself and asking "how do I feel now?" is the internal version of the same behavior.

Conventional wisdom suggests you should always express your feelings. However, for someone with an anxiety disorder, focusing intensely on every "buzz" in the head or "jelly leg" sensation actually reinforces the idea that these feelings are dangerous.

Therapeutic Missteps: We acknowledge that even therapists are sometimes trained to push clients to "probe" and "feel more deeply" into sensations that are actually just symptoms of a misfiring threat response.
The Goal of Discernment: Recovery involves learning when it is productive to talk about an emotion (like anger from a fight with a partner) and when it is better to disengage from a physical anxiety symptom.

A few key principles you may bring with you from this episode:

Labeling Feelings: People often wrap every emotion in the label of "anxiety." You are allowed to feel angry, sad, or even happy without it being a "symptom" that needs to be reported.
Psychological Flexibility: Recovery is about learning to be with difficult internal experiences rather than trying to control or prevent them.
The Amygdala: Constantly talking about your anxiety to seek relief keeps your threat response turned on.

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Want to talk about this episode, interact with us, and communicate with others that are sharing your experience? We're hanging out in the Disordered Community Space

⁠https://www.disordered.fm/the-disordered-guide-to-health-anxiety/⁠

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The Disordered Guide to Health Anxiety is available now:

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Got questions or did it anyways to share? ⁠Send us an email or voicemail on our website⁠.

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Anxiety in the Supermarket or Grocery Store (Episode 152) Apr 17, 2026

Show notes

Have you ever felt like a supermarket was a high-stakes obstacle course you just couldn’t wait to escape? In this episode of Disordered, Josh and Drew dive deep into a struggle that almost everyone with an anxiety disorder knows well: anxiety in the supermarket or grocery store.

Whether it is the harsh fluorescent lighting, the narrow aisles, or the trapped feeling of standing in a long checkout queue, the grocery store is often a primary trigger for panic and agoraphobia. We discuss why this mundane chore feels so confronting and share our own personal histories of running out of stores and abandoning shopping carts.

Sensory Overload: Why the music, lights, and crowds create a maelstrom for the anxious brain.
The Exit Mentality: The habit of scanning for fire exits and the urge to rush through shopping as a hit and run experience.
Cognitive Sequencing: The difficulty of making simple decisions when your brain is stuck in panic mode.
Real Success Stories: We share a did it anyway from a listener who navigated a new store despite her agoraphobia.
Practical Strategies: Why trying to think logically does not work in the moment and how to practice willful tolerance instead.

We also touch on the 7% Slower rule and how intentionally slowing down your physical pace can teach your brain that you are not actually in danger. If you have ever felt like reality was collapsing while you were just trying to buy ingredients for lasagna, this episode is for you.

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Want to talk about this episode, interact with us, and communicate with others that are sharing your experience? We're hanging out in the Disordered Community Space

⁠https://www.disordered.fm/the-disordered-guide-to-health-anxiety/⁠

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The Disordered Guide to Health Anxiety is available now:

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Got questions or did it anyways to share? ⁠Send us an email or voicemail on our website⁠.

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Anxiety Disorders and Sneaky Compulsions (Episode 151) Apr 10, 2026

Show notes

This episode of Disordered dives into the concept of sneaky compulsions. Many people struggling with anxiety or OCD often find themselves performing behaviors that they do not immediately recognize as compulsions. These can look like productive research, seeking reassurance through a joke, or even "checking" to see if you still feel calm.

Drew and Josh discuss how these behaviors are often avoidance or escape mechanisms in disguise. Whether it is asking a therapist if you are the worst case they have ever seen or using AI to obsess over a body sensation, these actions are designed to provide short term relief while keeping you stuck in the anxiety cycle.

Key topics covered in this episode:

* Why we mask compulsions as personality traits or curiosity.

* The "reassurance seeker's workaround" of projecting issues onto others.

* How gathering more information can actually be a form of avoidance.

* Real life examples from the community about catching sneaky compulsions in the moment.

* The importance of psychological flexibility and learning to be with difficult feelings instead of trying to fix them.

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Want to talk about this episode, interact with us, and communicate with others that are sharing your experience? We're hanging out in the Disordered Community Space

⁠https://www.disordered.fm/the-disordered-guide-to-health-anxiety/⁠

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The Disordered Guide to Health Anxiety is available now:

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Got questions or did it anyways to share? ⁠Send us an email or voicemail on our website⁠.

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Same Time Next Week - Anxiety Recovery in the "Gaps" (Episode 150) Apr 03, 2026

Show notes

In this milestone episode of Disordered, we discuss the concepts in Josh's upcoming book. The conversation focuses on the gaps in anxiety recovery and the modern hurdles that prevent people from effectively practicing desensitization.

They break down how the obsession with "optimization" and the "wellness brosphere" often becomes a distraction from the actual work of recovery. Using case studies from the book, they examine the different ways people try to avoid vulnerability by using hacks or curated identities.

CASE STUDIES:

Magnus: A young man with agoraphobia who tries to "alpha" his way out of his annex. He relies on supplements and wellness protocols rather than facing the fear directly.

Lia Su: A wellness influencer who hides severe OCD behind a perfect online persona. Her story explores how making mental health an identity can lead to more avoidance.

Ruben Kane: A retired boxer dealing with gambling issues and the shame of no longer feeling like the tough guy. His story looks at how anxiety can infiltrate a singular identity.

Miriam: A student therapist learning to navigate imposter syndrome. Josh and Drew discuss why self doubt is actually a valuable tool for growth and curiosity.

CORE CONCEPTS

Delayed Gratification: This explores the struggle to be patient in a world where everything else is instant.

Vulnerability: Recovery involves moving away from fixing or regulating and moving toward being okay with being afraid.

The Gaps: This involves identifying the subtle things we do that keep us stuck in the anxiety cycle.

Real Fear vs Real Danger: This episode emphasizes that while the fear you feel is real, you are not in actual danger.

Psychological Flexibility: You benefit more from learning to be with difficult internal experiences like anxiety and fear rather than trying to control or prevent them.

Gradual Progress: Recovery is about taking small, practical steps rather than looking for a magic solution.

BOOK INFORMATION

Josh’s new book, Same Time Next Week, is available for pre order. If you pre order before May 14th, you can receive an exclusive ebook on intrusive thoughts and a morning anxiety audio guide.

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Want to talk about this episode, interact with us, and communicate with others that are sharing your experience? We're hanging out in the Disordered Community Space

⁠https://www.disordered.fm/the-disordered-guide-to-health-anxiety/⁠

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The Disordered Guide to Health Anxiety is available now:

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Got questions or did it anyways to share? ⁠Send us an email or voicemail on our website⁠.

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Failing and Bailing on Anxiety Exposures? (Episode 149) Mar 27, 2026

Show notes

In this episode, Josh and Drew tackle a common hurdle in anxiety recovery: what happens when an exposure feels like a "failure" or when you choose to "bail."

An exposure is the deliberate act of evoking an anxious response. It is a way to rewire the brain by intentionally lighting up the threat response and practicing response prevention. The goal is to teach your brain that you are safe even when you feel scared, rather than trying to force yourself to feel calm.

Many people believe that feeling high levels of anxiety during an exposure means they have failed. This is a misconception. The exposure is designed to make you feel anxious; therefore, feeling those symptoms is exactly what is supposed to happen.

"Failure" is often a label generated by your Inner Critic based on perfectionist expectations. True growth comes from being willing to experience the discomfort, even if the execution feels "messy".

Bailing occurs when the discomfort becomes overwhelming and you choose to retreat. While this can feel like a setback, it is often a signal that you need more self-compassion. We discuss the "punch in the face" moment. That's the the point where the plan goes out the window because the physical sensations or intrusive thoughts become intense.

The "Bad Day Playbook": Don't try to make it up on the fly when you're panicked. Have a pre-planned set of actions to take if an exposure doesn't go as intended.
Avoid "White-Knuckling": Simply "pushing through" while counting down the seconds to escape is not the same as a willing exposure.
The Goal is Willingness: Recovery is about changing your relationship with the anxiety, not eliminating the feeling. Even an "unplanned" exposure—like a sudden intrusive thought or a physical symptom—is an opportunity to practice these principles.
Go Through the Peak: If possible, try not to leave the situation at the height of your distress. Leaving on the "back end" of the peak, on your own terms, provides the best learning opportunity for your brain.

We also share "Did It Anyway" stories from the community, including a powerful example of navigating health anxiety during a family party.

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Want to talk about this episode, interact with us, and communicate with others that are sharing your experience? We're hanging out in the Disordered Community Space

⁠https://www.disordered.fm/the-disordered-guide-to-health-anxiety/⁠

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The Disordered Guide to Health Anxiety is available now:

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Got questions or did it anyways to share? ⁠Send us an email or voicemail on our website⁠.

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Rolling Anxiety and Panic (Episode 148) Mar 13, 2026

Show notes

This episode of Disordered addresses the experience of constant, simmering anxiety that fluctuates in intensity throughout the day without fully disappearing. We refer to this as undulating panic or a loop of peaking anxiety.

The Nature of Rolling Anxiety: Many people that they are different because they don't have anxiety that appears, then disappears. It rolls and undulates throughout the day. This is the rule, not the exception. We explain how an internal fixation on bodily sensations and thoughts creates a cycle where anxiety rises and falls continually.
The Monitoring Trap: Using scales like Subjective Units of Distress (SUDs) can become a compulsion. When you constantly scan your body to check if you are a "four" or a "nine," you maintain the rolling, undulating sensitized state you are trying to escape.
The Sand Timer Analogy: Physiological and mental arousal (yes, even a full panic attack) has a beginning, middle, and end. Once the "sand timer" of an adrenaline spike is flipped, it must run its course. Attempting to "shake the timer" through frantic coping mechanisms only slows down the natural process of settling.
Recovery Through Action: We share listener stories of "doing it anyway" despite monophobia and physical pain. These examples illustrate how recovery involves moving forward while discomfort is present rather than waiting for it to stop.

Recovery is grounded in the principle of psychological flexibility. The goal is to learn to be with difficult internal experiences like fear and physical sensations rather than trying to control or prevent them. By treating these fluctuations as a background noise rather than a defining event, you teach your brain that the state is not a signal of danger.

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Want to talk about this episode, interact with us, and communicate with others that are sharing your experience? We're hanging out in the Disordered Community Space

⁠https://www.disordered.fm/the-disordered-guide-to-health-anxiety/⁠

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The Disordered Guide to Health Anxiety is available now:

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Got questions or did it anyways to share? ⁠Send us an email or voicemail on our website⁠.

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Did It Anyway - Volume 5 - Global Edition! (Episode 147) Mar 06, 2026

Show notes

In this episode of Disordered, we celebrate the "Global Edition" of Did It Anyway.

We're sharing inspiring stories from our community members around the world who chose to face their fears and take action despite experiencing intense anxiety.

From navigating health anxiety at a drum and bass gig in London to managing emetophobia while being physically ill, these stories highlight the power of psychological flexibility. We discuss how recovery isn't about the absence of anxiety, but rather the shortening of the time between "oh my god" and "oh well".

The "Did It Anyway" Mindset: How listeners applied this approach to return to work, travel, and social situations despite panic and agoraphobia.
Desensitization in Real-Time: Using exposure therapy principles to stay present with uncomfortable physical sensations rather than retreating.
Challenging Safety Behaviors: Stories of individuals staying home alone for the first time in weeks or eating "fear foods" to reclaim their lives.
Overcoming the Inner Critic: Learning to move into productive problem-solving mode instead of self-berating when anxiety spikes and thinking isn't perfectly clear.
Recovery as a Journey: Emphasizing that while these principles are simple, implementing them is a gradual process that requires patience and persistence.

We also touch on the importance of self-compassion and acknowledging that even when life is genuinely difficult—such as dealing with family health struggles—you can still apply these principles to your recovery and desensitization work.

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Want to talk about this episode, interact with us, and communicate with others that are sharing your experience? We're hanging out in the Disordered Community Space

⁠https://www.disordered.fm/the-disordered-guide-to-health-anxiety/⁠

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The Disordered Guide to Health Anxiety is available now:

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Got questions or did it anyways to share? ⁠Send us an email or voicemail on our website⁠.

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The Stress Jug Explained (Episode 146) Feb 27, 2026

Show notes

In this episode, Josh and Drew break down the "Stress Jug"—a metaphor designed to explain why anxiety and panic often seem to appear out of nowhere. The guys discuss how accumulated stress, both positive and negative, can cause your "threat response" to overflow, leading to sensitization and the search for a threat where none exists.

The Mechanics of Overflow: How the amygdala misinterprets a full "stress jug" as immediate danger, triggering unexpected fear and physical symptoms.
The Role of Meaning-Making: Why your brain creates narratives (like health anxiety or fear of "going crazy") to explain internal discomfort.
Beyond "Emptying the Jug": Why recovery isn't about avoiding stress or keeping the jug empty, but learning to tolerate the overflow when life gets heavy.
"Meta-Stress": Understanding the additional weight of being stressed about being stressed, and how that contributes to the cycle of disordered anxiety.
The "Gunk" at the Bottom: Addressing long-term factors like grief, self-esteem, or unprocessed emotions that occupy space in your jug.

We're also sharing "Did It Anyway" stories from the community, including a listener’s trip to Jamaica despite anxiety and a first-time solo drive after years of avoidance. These stories highlight the importance of taking action even when you don't yet believe you are safe.

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Want to talk about this episode, interact with us, and communicate with others that are sharing your experience? We're hanging out in the Disordered Community Space

⁠https://www.disordered.fm/the-disordered-guide-to-health-anxiety/⁠

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The Disordered Guide to Health Anxiety is available now:

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Got questions or did it anyways to share? ⁠Send us an email or voicemail on our website⁠.

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Self Compassion in Anxiety Recovery (Episode 145) Feb 20, 2026

Show notes

This week we're discussing the relationship between anxiety and self-compassion. Self-compassion is often dismissed as a way to avoid difficult tasks or "whine" about struggles, but it is actually a functional part of the desensitization process.

Drew shares how he originally viewed self-compassion as a weakness that would lead to more avoidance, only to realize that berating himself was not actually an effective motivator. Josh explains how a lack of self-compassion can lead to "re-sensitization" when you turn recovery into a performance you have to perfect.

What We Discuss:

The "No Self-Compassion" Mistake: Why driving yourself with brute force and criticism often backfires
Accepting The Current Version of You: The importance of acknowledging that you are currently afraid or avoidant without berating or rejecting yourself for it.
Self-Compassion vs. Coddling: Distinguishing between being kind to yourself while doing hard things and using "kindness" as an excuse to stay on the sofa.
Navigating Misunderstanding: How to handle friends or family who do not understand anxiety disorders and the importance of validating your own experience instead of waiting for them to do it.

Recovery requires the flexibility to be afraid and move forward simultaneously. Using self-compassion means letting the scared version of yourself into the experiential classroom so you can actually learn the lessons found in acceptance, tolerance, surrender, floating, and exposure!

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Want to talk about this episode, interact with us, and communicate with others that are sharing your experience? We're hanging out in the Disordered Community Space

⁠https://www.disordered.fm/the-disordered-guide-to-health-anxiety/⁠

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The Disordered Guide to Health Anxiety is available now:

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Got questions or did it anyways to share? ⁠Send us an email or voicemail on our website⁠.