Disordered: Anxiety Help

What do you do when you're working on recovery from an anxiety disorder and your techniques stop working? How do you handle those hard days when you can't make it stop or go away?

Well ... this is one reason why in the Disordered community we rarely if ever talk about tips, techniques, tricks, hacks, or steps for calming down, preventing anxiety, or managing anxiety or symptoms.

This week Josh and Drew are talking about what happens when we try to use calming, relaxation, or wellness techniques to make disordered anxiety go away. There will be surprises here ... the number one technique we use in anxiety disorder recovery is to not try to use any techniques. The most valuable lesson we can learn is that even without taking special steps, our internal experiences come and go and are not worthy of changing our lives over, even when they are highly uncomfortable or scary.

This episode also touches on the use of calming, relaxation, and stress management techniques as important parts of overall wellness outside the context of an anxiety disorder. Not everything is an exposure and acceptance problem in life. There are times when engaging in good wellness and stress management practices can be very helpful!

The bottom line this week is that trying to use techniques to directly control how you feel and what you think in an urgent or frantic way is generally a bad plan. Applying techniques to teach us how to better handle stressors and move THROUGH our uncomfortable experiences is probably a better way to go.

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Want to talk about this episode, interact with us, and communicate with others that are sharing your experience? We're hanging out in the Disordered Community Space

⁠https://www.disordered.fm/the-disordered-guide-to-health-anxiety/⁠

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The Disordered Guide to Health Anxiety is available now:

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Struggling with worry and rumination that you feel you can't stop or control? Check out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Worry and Rumination Explained⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, a two hour pre-recorded workshop produced by Josh and Drew.

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Got questions or did it anyways to share? ⁠Send us an email or voicemail on our website⁠.

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Disclaimer: Disordered is not therapy or a replacement for therapy. Listening to Disordered does not create a therapeutic relationship between you and the hosts or guests of the podcast. Information here is provided for psychoeducational purposes. As always, please consult your mental health and/or medical care providers. If you are having a mental health crisis, always reach out immediately for in-person help.

The Social Impacts of Anxiety (Episode 75) Aug 30, 2024

Show notes

This week Drew and Josh are looking at the social impacts of anxiety. What happens when panic attacks, anxiety waves, or a flood of scary intrusive thoughts happens in public or while in social situations or when interacting with friends, family members, co-workers, or relationship partners?

If your past experiences in life or past relationships have contributed to developing self-beliefs or persistent worries about being rejected, excluded, or being exposed as being "less than", you may be tempted to insist that being anxious in social settings can't possibly be OK and that there must be some special way to approach this issue.

The short answer is that there really is no special way, and the same principles will apply. Its always helpful to be able to identify reasons why your threat response has latched onto themes like rejection, exclusion, or being unworthy or less than.

Even then the path forward is THROUGH. In this episode we're talking about identifying and challenging core beliefs focused on social fears, and learning two valuable lessons :

1. The worst case often does not happen

2. Even if it does, you are capable of handling the feelings that come with that

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Want to talk about this episode, interact with us, and communicate with others that are sharing your experience? We're hanging out in the Disordered Community Space

⁠https://www.disordered.fm/the-disordered-guide-to-health-anxiety/⁠

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The Disordered Guide to Health Anxiety is available now:

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Got questions or did it anyways to share? ⁠Send us an email or voicemail on our website⁠.

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When Anxious People Try to Perfectly Fix ... EVERYTHING (Episode 74) Aug 09, 2024

Show notes

Humans will often make the mistake of trying to apply our analytical and problem solving skills in areas where they do not belong. Anxious people - people struggling with anxiety disorders - do this all the time.

Are you trying to fix how you feel?
Are you trying to solve your anxiety and figure it out?
Are you in the habit of trying to control how you feel, engineering away bad feelings and trying to manufacture only good feelings?
Are you always on the lookout for more tools, tips, techniques, and instructions on what's good "for anxiety?"

These are hints that you might be a fixer or a perfectionist or both, and that you might be trying to fix or solve your anxiety .... perfectly. If this is you, tune in to this episode of Disordered for more on the fixing trap and how what seems like a good idea can often backfire and make things worse.

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Want to talk about this episode, interact with us, and communicate with others that are sharing your experience? We're hanging out in the Disordered Community Space

⁠https://www.disordered.fm/the-disordered-guide-to-health-anxiety/⁠

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The Disordered Guide to Health Anxiety is available now:

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Got questions or did it anyways to share? ⁠Send us an email or voicemail on our website⁠.

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Anxiety Questions and Answers (Episode 73) Aug 02, 2024

Show notes

Let's do an old-fashioned anxiety question and answer session!

This week Josh and Drew are answering questions sent in by members of the Disordered podcast community. Listen in for answers to the following questions:

Are we supposed to challenge our beliefs in recovery?
What about dizziness?
How do you do recovery when real life happens?
My health anxiety is "different". Can I use going to the doctor as an exposure?
I'm very anxious when reminded of a past event that I'm not proud of. Any tips?
How can I do more so I can be more recovered and not feel anxiety?
How can be compassionate toward ourselves ... and really mean it?

Of course we also have a few "did it anyways" in this episode to inspire and encourage. Thank you to everyone that sends in questions, shares victories both big and small, or just listens to the podcast every week. Your presence and participation are always greatly appreciated!

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Want to talk about this episode, interact with us, and communicate with others that are sharing your experience? We're hanging out in the Disordered Community Space

⁠https://www.disordered.fm/the-disordered-guide-to-health-anxiety/⁠

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The Disordered Guide to Health Anxiety is available now:

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Got questions or did it anyways to share? ⁠Send us an email or voicemail on our website⁠.

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Anxiety Recovery and the Fawn / People Pleasing Response (Episode 72) Jul 26, 2024

Show notes

Fight ... flight ... or freeze. But what about the fawn response?

This week on Disordered, Drew and Josh explore the fawn response and people pleasing. While this may not be a response we see directly like we do with fight, flight, or freeze, the fawn response that leads to habitual and almost automatic people pleasing can get in the way of the recovery process. It's not exactly easy to choose to do difficult scary things to get better when you may have been conditioned by past experiences to keep yourself under wraps and not rock the boat or risk rejection or harm.

We're examining some common experiences that can deal to developing and fawn or people pleasing response and looking at how the fawn response can impact family relationships friendships, intimate and romantic relationships, and even career or social group performance.

One item of note. It's perfectly OK to be shy. Being considerate of others and trying to be a good person is not a problem. We're not trying to erase these parts of our personalities. Overcoming the fawn response and excessive people pleasing is not about becoming hyper-independent or insensitive. This is always about bringing behaviors and beliefs back into a healthy, beneficial place in one's life.

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Want to talk about this episode, interact with us, and communicate with others that are sharing your experience? We're hanging out in the Disordered Community Space

⁠https://www.disordered.fm/the-disordered-guide-to-health-anxiety/⁠

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The Disordered Guide to Health Anxiety is available now:

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Got questions or did it anyways to share? ⁠Send us an email or voicemail on our website⁠.

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Anxiety Recovery and Metacognitive Therapy (Episode 71) Jul 19, 2024

Show notes

https://instagram.com/rhiannonwilcoxtherapy

An anxious state can be at least partially fueled by the act of metacognition. That's thinking and feeling ... about thinking and feeling. When meta-beliefs tell us that thinking, rumination, worry, and mental problem solving is a good way to fix our internal experiences (like big emotions, scary thoughts, or anxiety), things can go off the rails.

What seems like a good idea - thinking to fix how you feel - suddenly feels like a bad idea after you can't accomplish your goal and wonder why you can't stop engaging in overthinking, worry, and rumination.

This week Josh and Drew are joined by Rhiannon Wilcox, a qualified UK therapist that's been trained and certified in Metacognitive Therapy, a treatment that's been studied and validated when used to address chronic and disordered anxiety problems.

Come learn more about thinking and feeling about thinking and feeling, and why those thinking habits might be leading you astray, even as they promise to lead you to recovery.

To find Rhiannon Wilcox online:

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Want to talk about this episode, interact with us, and communicate with others that are sharing your experience? We're hanging out in the Disordered Community Space

⁠https://www.disordered.fm/the-disordered-guide-to-health-anxiety/⁠

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The Disordered Guide to Health Anxiety is available now:

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Got questions or did it anyways to share? ⁠Send us an email or voicemail on our website⁠.

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When Anxiety Feels Automatic (Episode 70) Jul 12, 2024

Show notes

Even when you understand that changing your reaction to anxious thoughts, feelings, and sensations is the way out ... you may feel that this is impossible because those thoughts, those sensations, and your reactions feel completely automatic and unchangeable.

This is a common concern for almost anyone struggling with anxiety disorder recovery so this week Drew and Josh are talking about how anxiety, anxious thoughts, symptoms, and reactions can feel - and really are - automatic. But even when things happen automatically, there is a choice point in every anxious situation where we are aware of what is happening. That awareness gives us power to choose a different path, even when that path is a difficult one to choose.

It is critical to practice self-compassion in this context because it can be easy to fall into the trap of declaring failure or setback when you can't "control" automatic things. Remember that we're not trying to control automatic things, we're working on building awareness of our automatic thoughts, sensations, and reactions, so that the NEXT actions we take after that can be intentional and directed at recovery rather than retreat.

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Want to talk about this episode, interact with us, and communicate with others that are sharing your experience? We're hanging out in the Disordered Community Space

⁠https://www.disordered.fm/the-disordered-guide-to-health-anxiety/⁠

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The Disordered Guide to Health Anxiety is available now:

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Got questions or did it anyways to share? ⁠Send us an email or voicemail on our website⁠.

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But What About ...? Applying General Principles in Anxiety Recovery (EP 69) Jul 05, 2024

Show notes

If you've ever listened to an episode of Disordered and felt the need to ask "Yes, but what about when ...?", then this episode is for you.

A common struggle among people trying to overcome chronic and disordered anxiety is gaining the ability to generalize the principles of recovery and apply them in an individual context. Anxious people will often hear advice aimed at different types of anxious presentations, then ask for specific advice aimed at their specific fears or thoughts or symptoms.

That's a reasonable thing to ask of course, but what if the advice you're hearing for panic attacks also applies to GAD or OCD or health anxiety? Can you see how the principles of eliminating avoidance and doing the opposite of what your fear wants to you do might apply in your situation?

Recovery isn't necessarily about learning how to eradicate your specific symptom or worry. It's about learning that avoiding and struggling against your internal experiences is making things worse instead of better. This general principle is applicable regardless of the specific struggle in any given moment.

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Want to talk about this episode, interact with us, and communicate with others that are sharing your experience? We're hanging out in the Disordered Community Space

⁠https://www.disordered.fm/the-disordered-guide-to-health-anxiety/⁠

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The Disordered Guide to Health Anxiety is available now:

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Got questions or did it anyways to share? ⁠Send us an email or voicemail on our website⁠.

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Heat Anxiety (Episode 68) Jun 28, 2024

Show notes

Summer has arrived in the US and the UK, so let's talk about anxiety based on the heat. Summertime is often a difficult time for people struggling with anxiety disorders because the seasonal change in temperature becomes an anxiety trigger.

Today the guys are talking about:

How heat is just uncomfortable. Being uncomfortable in any way is often unacceptable for people with anxiety disorders.
Heat may trigger feelings that resemble panic attacks or that might remind you of times in the past when you've had scary or difficult experiences that you've attributed to high temperatures.
How anxiety disorders will argue irrationally about the danger or risk posed by summer temperatures, often totally discounting the ability of humans to exist quite safely in a very wide range of even extreme climates.
Typical exposure ideas that target heat centric anxiety.
Why working on your heat anxiety means you're also working on other triggered because heat anxiety is just another expression of the single core fear that comes with things like panic disorder or OCD - that thoughts, feelings, and sensations will be too much.

As usual there are questions from the community and a few "did it anyways" to provide encouragement and inspiration.

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Want to talk about this episode, interact with us, and communicate with others that are sharing your experience? We're hanging out in the Disordered Community Space

⁠https://www.disordered.fm/the-disordered-guide-to-health-anxiety/⁠

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The Disordered Guide to Health Anxiety is available now:

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Got questions or did it anyways to share? ⁠Send us an email or voicemail on our website⁠.

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Anxiety Recovery and Food/Eating (Episode 67) Jun 21, 2024

Show notes

We're back in business this week with both Josh and Drew in studio again chatting about the role of food and eating in the anxiety recovery process. Everyone eats, and for people struggling with anxiety disorders, food and the process of eating can become deeply connected to recovery and/or attempting to manage anxiety, symptoms, thoughts, or emotions.

As usual the guys share from their own experiences while covering some of the key points to consider when identifying how food and eating can be part of your recovery plans. A few important points:

Eating to be healthy is never a bad idea. But eating as a way to try to manage anxiety symptoms, prevent panic, or to micromanage physical processes that were never designed to be micromanaged can backfire on us.
Eating can become a safety or avoidance behavior when we tie our diets and eating habits to our anxious fears.
Be mindful of less than well-informed advice found on the Internet and in other places that promises to cure your anxiety with special diets - especially extreme or highly restrictive diets.
Don't make the mistake of eating like your body is fragile and can only exist inside a narrow dietary range. In the absence of medical/physical issues that demand dietary limitations, a varied diet has physical benefits while also teaching vital lessons about psychological flexibility that matters so much in the recovery process.
Contrary to popular belief, it is possible (though we would not suggest this if you can help it) so fully recover from an anxiety disorder - being afraid of being afraid - being anxious about being anxious - while consuming only junk food. Treating your body well is a better idea of course and certainly supportive, but it is not generally helpful to place food and diet on a pedestal as a cornerstone of recovery.
Food can change how your body feels. This is 100% true. But remember that being afraid of your body is an entirely different situation. This matters in the recovery process.

This episode was sparked by a question from a listener. Thanks, Nick! Want to participate in a future episode of Disordered by sending in a did it anyway or asking a question? Visit disordered.fm and let's hear what's on your mind!

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Want to talk about this episode, interact with us, and communicate with others that are sharing your experience? We're hanging out in the Disordered Community Space

⁠https://www.disordered.fm/the-disordered-guide-to-health-anxiety/⁠

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The Disordered Guide to Health Anxiety is available now:

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Got questions or did it anyways to share? ⁠Send us an email or voicemail on our website⁠.