Dice Will Roll

Original Theme Song by Sim @TheSimulacrae

Check out our website at https://www.dicewillroll.com/

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Abomination Vaults Ep. 33: Bars & Bands Oct 14, 2024

Fogfen Few versus Shadow Malice... which band will be the last one standing in the Warped Brew Tavern?

Of all the things our heroes were expecting to find in the dungeon, this was not one of them. Ancient libraries? Makes sense. A secret laboratory? Yeah, why not. But a dungeon tavern? Full of monsters drinking ale? Jeez, I mean, sure, why not? Alrik, Silk and Fiore will need to team up and play some tunes to show their rivals that the surface doesn't suck at music, or else blood WILL spill. Grab your lute, strum a tune, and blare that grunge, because the wickedest battle of the bands to ever grace the face (and below) of Golarion is coming YOUR way!

Tunes get played. Ale gets drank. Horrors get uncovered.

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Queerest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... how do you play metal on a mandolin?

CONTENT WARNINGS: Mentions of cave-ins, implied devil worship, alcohol, misogynist insults, descriptions of car crashes, extreme body horror, mind control, Post Credit Scenes

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Original Theme Song by Sim @TheSimulacrae

Check out our website at https://www.dicewillroll.com/

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Abomination Vaults Ep. 32: Lutes & Laboratories Oct 08, 2024

The sixth floor awaits, and it's full of weird science and... music?

The Fogfen Few plunge deeper than ever as they make their way to the laboratories of the Abomination Vaults, hot on the trail of a mad, centipede scientist who plans on invading the surface. But not everything is as it seems here in this strange, fleshwarping dungeon. There's strange smells, weird shapes shambling in the corners of your eyes, and... what the hell is that drawn on the wall? By the gods of the Inner Sea! Who could do such a thing?! Alrik, Silk and Fiore must have their wits about them now as they come across some of their most peculiar challenges yet!

Carvings get inspected. Fishing tackles get taken. Double middle fingers get thrown around.

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Queerest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... is it cool to kill a janitor if they're a single cell organism?

CONTENT WARNINGS: References to genitalia, discussions of pickling animals, frequent references to brain death, references to mind-altering drugs, nihilism, the dreaded xulgath return

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Original Theme Song by Sim @TheSimulacrae

Check out our website at https://www.dicewillroll.com/

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Abomination Vaults Ep. 31: Rubies & Revenents Sep 09, 2024

What's happening to poor Dorianna Menhemes, and who's to blame?

The Fogfen Few fight to protect those they care about... but what do they do when the evil isn't just contained in the dungeon? From strange buzzing sounds to haunted dolls to strange rubies, it seems like even Otari is becoming filled with terrible mysteries. And it's not like the dungeon is suddenly a cakewalk either! Join our heroes as they make their way through the final stages of the arena and prepare to make their way into the laboratory... with a new sense of urgency with new dire threat uncovered!

Discoveries get made. Doors get touched. Stomps get heard.

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, where we ask the Hard Questions like... won't you PLEASE look at my cool crystal axe?

CONTENT WARNINGS: Child neglect, dysfunctional families, child abuse, child isolation, child endangerment, gore, body horror, centipedes, mummification

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Abomination Vaults Ep. 30: Evils & Exorcisms Sep 03, 2024

The Fogfen Few must cure the werewolf of his lycanthropy... or let a monster run wild!

Ah, Otari... the town where nothing ever happens. After a long day out exploring in the dungeon, our heroes can always count on Otari to be a safe place where nothing bad happens. At least... normally it is. But right now, the town is in for a particularly dark night. From howling wolfmen chained up in a druid circle to dark secrets from beyond the stars to screaming children in their bedrooms... the sleepy town of Otari won't be getting much sleep tonight. Will Alrik, Silk and Fiore make it through the most dangerous night of their adventure so far?

Heals get given. Books get read. Toys get broken.

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, where we ask the Hard Questions like... how do you mug a paladin?

CONTENT WARNINGS: Themes of exorcisms, poison use, capital punishment, serial killers, references to cannibalism, cosmic horror, nihilism, child abuse, audio of children screaming, poor parenting, child endangerment and harm, a BANDIT

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Original Theme Song by Sim @TheSimulacrae

Check out our website at https://www.dicewillroll.com/

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Abomination Vaults Ep. 29: Tigers & Tournaments Aug 26, 2024

Enter the arena, and earn fame, fortune and treasure!

The Fogfen Few have gone deeper than ever, finding themselves on a floor of the Vaults called the Arena by its inhabitants. But after battling through corridors of statues, traces of shell and bone, and finding the namesake of the floor... well, who could be prepared for what awaits them? Certainly, I don't think anyone was expecting sexy bachelors in the Gauntlight's ruins, but what is life but a series of surprises? Either way, adventurers... do you fancy your chances as champions, or will you end up as more bones scattered around the arena?

Eyes get closed. Deals get made. Combat gets cheered.

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Queerest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... am I damned to hell if I sleep with a particularly charming evil spirit?

CONTENT WARNINGS: Snakes, paralysis, blindness, implied animal cruelty, gladatorial bloodsports, furries

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Original Theme Song by Sim @TheSimulacrae

Check out our website at https://www.dicewillroll.com/

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Abomination Vaults Ep. 28: Grothluts & Grimoires Aug 12, 2024

A-dungeoneering we shall go, a-dungeoneering we shall go...

The Fogfen Few have gathered the relics of the Roseguard, for better or for worse. Now, they must plunge into the next floor of the Abomination Vaults. After ruins, dungeons, libraries and temples, what else could lie beneath the earth? Maybe... maybe a circus full of clowns and candyfloss! Actually, scratch that, somehow I think a clown dungeon is a nightmare idea. But nonetheless... whatever there is on the fifth floor of the Vaults will surely be even more terrifying than that.

Portals get opened. Figures get spoken to. Statues get observed.

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Queerest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... what if I WANT to step on the rusty grate?

CONTENT WARNINGS: Inter-party deceit, cosmic horror, insects, intense body horror, ego death, snakes, torture references, sexy goth 2

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Original Theme Song by Sim @TheSimulacrae

Check out our website at https://www.dicewillroll.com/

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Abomination Vaults Ep. 27: Crimes & Candor Aug 06, 2024

Betrayal! Arson! Criminal Activity!

The sleepy town of Otari is buzzing with activity tonight, as the Fogfen Few find out that the Dawnflower Temple has been set on fire while on the way home from Absolom. With a mystery on their hands, they must seek the truth of what happened. Who would do such a thing to a holy site, especially in a small town where everyone knows each other?! Who can our heroes trust, and who will they suspect of the crimes that have occured on this night? They'll need to solve this mystery, and fast, before the culprit is able to get away with it!

Crimes are uncovered. Doors are slammed open. Truth gets told.

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Queerest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... why would you pass up on such great deals on poison?

CONTENT WARNINGS: Murder, throat injury, reoccurring NPC death, betrayal, appearance-based harassment, racism analogy, cruel and unusual punishments, allusions to teenagers getting raunchy, real-world politics and references to real world genocide, Joe Biden I fucking guess

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Original Theme Song by Sim @TheSimulacrae

Check out our website at https://www.dicewillroll.com/

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Abomination Vaults Ep. 26: Clans & Cosmopolises Jul 22, 2024

The city at the center of the world awaits! Welcome, one and all, to Absalom!

The Fogfen Few are quite far from the dungeons now! And yet here they are in Starstone City, and some of them are wishing they were back in the grimy depths below. There's markets, there's temples, there's secrets to be uncovered (more than one might expect, even!), and all the while the mysteries seem to keep piling up. But oh, can't we do some sightseeing first? Pleeease? Hop on the back of Stampy the Elephant and see the greatest city in all of Avistan first hand!

Familiar faces get seen. Treasure gets bought. Books get read.

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, where we ask the Hard Questions like... do you have any idea how much infodumping had to be cut out from this episode?

CONTENT WARNINGS: Dysfunctional family dynamics, references to incest, lewd book title jokes, old men dating young ladies, mental hardship, bad relationships, heavy classism, Stampy the motherfucking Elephant

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Original Theme Song by Sim @TheSimulacrae

Check out our website at https://www.dicewillroll.com/

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Abomination Vaults Ep. 25: Tombs & Travels Jul 15, 2024

The Fogfen Few hunt down the Roseguard Relics, deep underground and far on the horizon!

The Tomb of Aesephana Menhemes is no walk in the park... and you're saying this is just the second of four relics we have to grab?! Yeesh! Well, at least the others will be simple, right? Alrik, Silk and Fiore put their titles as adventurers to the test as they take on the greatest fetch quest of them all, taking them far, far away from the dungeons they've gotten so used to exploring. A key, a broach, a book and a sword... what mysteries are they keeping, really?

Shields get snarly. Instructions get given. Bags get packed. All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Queerest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... is Derry in breach of the Family and Medical Leave Act of 1993?

CONTENT WARNINGS: Gerascophobia, depictions of hospice care, pyrophobia, drug jokes, the German National Anthem

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Original Theme Song by Sim @TheSimulacrae

Check out our website at https://www.dicewillroll.com/

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Abomination Vaults Ep. 24: Bloodlines & Braziers Jul 08, 2024

The Fogfen Few seek out the Relics of the Roseguard! But what else awaits them in Otari?

After our heroes removed the power source of the Gauntlight, the town of Otari has let out a sigh of relief. But complacency will get us nowhere! Great evil awaits even deeper in the dungeon, delayed but not defeated. The Fogfen Few have one of the four Roseguard Relics in their possession... but only if they unite all four will they be able to get past the Ghostwalk and venture deeper into the Abomination Vaults. Let's recollect ourselves and get this show on the road-- because the ancient secrets of the past are about to reveal themselves!

Insults get thrown. Pasts get revealed. Stairs get descended.

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Queerest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... is it okay to set someone's business on fire if they totally deserve it?

CONTENT WARNINGS: Child abuse and neglect, trauma, self-hatred, attacks on someone's immutable traits, themes of death and legacy, themes of aging, parental abandonment, alcoholism, censored homophobic slurs played for comedy, two grown ass men play Patty Cake

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Abomination Vaults Ep. 23: Leeches & Legends Jul 01, 2024

Tremble before the wrath of Volluk Azinrae!

The Fogfen Few have heard his name whispered throughout the dungeon. The Apprentice of the Mad Sorceress. The Master of Mister Beak. The Tormentor of Dear Sweet Borbo. The most villainous, vile elf to lurk through these floors. And now, at last, our heroes stand face to face with him... and his wretched secret! Will our heroes save the victims of the horrifying lord of the dungeon? Or are they next to become his undead minions? Clench your fist and shake off those worms, it's about to get squirmy in here!

Secrets get spilled. Pain gets muscled through. Endings tie together.

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Queerest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... now where does THAT rate on the Alrik Wetness chart?

CONTENT WARNINGS: Worm sounds throughout, themes of abuse, complicated feelings towards abusers, agonized screams, unconsensual secret sharing, descriptions of heightened pain and torture, twist endings

VOTE FOR DICE WILL ROLL IN THE CRIT AWARDS 2024! https://www.critawards.org/

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Original Theme Song by Sim @TheSimulacrae

Additional Music by Karl WhiteBat Music

Check out our website at https://www.dicewillroll.com/

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Abomination Vaults Ep. 22: Wizards & Wretches Jun 25, 2024

The end of the floor is nigh! What horrors await the Fogfen Few in the final rooms?

Undead, undead, undead! Crawling hands, skeletons, ghouls, we've seen it all! As our brave adventurers fight back against the darkness, it seems the battle is being won... but now, only the most vile foes remain. Torturers, kidnappers, giant ugly bugs... will Alrik, Silk and Fiore survive their plunge into the dunge? Or will the sinister evils awaiting them claim their souls... and their relics?

Doors get shut. Puzzles get pieced. Confrontations get had.

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Queerest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... why did I stay up til 6am on a work day to finish this episode? Was it pride? Hubris? Why did I do this?

CONTENT WARNINGS: Depictions of torture, body horror, body modding, self mutilation, gore, uncleanliness, worms and maggots, misogyny played for humour, references to the Irish Troubles that were in poor taste but Ritz asked me to keep it in so it's on them not me

VOTE FOR DICE WILL ROLL IN THE CRIT AWARDS 2024! https://www.critawards.org/

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Original Theme Song by Sim @TheSimulacrae

Additional Music by Seventh Sanctum and Ivan Duch

Check out our website at https://www.dicewillroll.com/

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Abomination Vaults Ep. 21: Relics & Rendezvous Jun 19, 2024

Out of the dungeon, our heroes face their most difficult tasks... romantic encounters!

After a treacherous time in the vaults, the Fogfen Few reward themselves with a double-date. Rumours swirl and danger brews, but right now, all we need to think about is ourselves... and the lost relics of the Roseguard, without which we're doomed to allow a great evil to return! No pressure though. Prepare to stumble headfirst into even greater treachery as we walk into darkness... I hope you remembered to light a torch, first!

Stories get swapped. Books get sold. The lost get found.

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Queerest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... what exactly happened in that alleyway?

CONTENT WARNINGS: Heavy teasing, implied sexual encounters, 3-minute outfit describing monologues

VOTE FOR DICE WILL ROLL IN THE CRIT AWARDS 2024! https://www.critawards.org/

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Original Theme Song by Sim @TheSimulacrae

Additional Music by Karl WhiteBat Music

Check out our website at https://www.dicewillroll.com/

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Abomination Vaults Ep. 20: Wisps & Warnings Jun 12, 2024

The Fogfen Few have uncovered a very familiar, ghostly face, but danger awaits at every turn! How will they defeat the wretched will-o-wisps?!

Our heroes definitely have their work cut out for them! In the tomb of a particularly chatty ancient adventurer, Alrik, Silk and Fiore will soon discover that malevolent balls of light aren't the only danger nearby. Doom stalk the halls of this dungeon, and traps lay in wait to strike. Maybe The Fogfen Few have bitten off more than they can chew today as they step into the lair of the most terrible foe they've come across yet!

Grappling hooks get thrown. Stairs get climbed. Secrets get revealed.

Find out more in today's episode of Dice Will Roll, the Queerest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... why did the Adventure Path designers do this to our sweet, beloved adventurers?

CONTENT WARNINGS: Discussions of death, descriptions of many, many flashing lights, themes of doom and oblivion, Borbo Dissociation Reveal

BUY DERRY'S ADVENTURE, SAFE HAVEN: A WEIRD WEST TALE TODAY!

Pathfinder 2e version: https://www.drivethrurpg.com/en/product/482415/safe-haven-a-weird-west-tale-pathfinder-2nd-edition?affiliate_id=1916517

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Original Theme Song by Sim @TheSimulacrae

Additional Music by Karl WhiteBat Music

Check out our website at https://www.dicewillroll.com/

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Abomination Vaults Ep. 19: Beastmen & Bones Jun 03, 2024

The monster returns to Otari in chains... but are chains enough to hold him?

After a desperate battle, the Otari Werewolf has been shackled! The Fogfen Few return victorious to Otari, but... what are they to do with him now? What will the townsfolk do? And how, exactly, does one imprison a man that turns into an extraordinarily powerful beast once a month? As our brave adventurers grapple these questions, they must also go deeper into the dungeon once more... and uncover some very, very old secrets from a mystery that finally reveals itself after 500 years.

Punches get thrown. Secrets get spilled. Water gets waded.

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Queerest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... what does Brian Cox sound like, even?

CONTENT WARNINGS: Animal harm and death, consumption of raw flesh, alcohol consumption, serial killers

BUY DERRY'S ADVENTURE, SAFE HAVEN: A WEIRD WEST TALE TODAY!

Pathfinder 2e version: https://www.drivethrurpg.com/en/product/482415/safe-haven-a-weird-west-tale-pathfinder-2nd-edition?affiliate_id=1916517

D&D 5e version: https://www.drivethrurpg.com/en/product/482416/safe-haven-a-weird-west-tale-5th-edition?affiliate_id=1916517

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Original Theme Song by Sim @TheSimulacrae

Check out our website at https://www.dicewillroll.com/

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Abomination Vaults Ep. 18: Campfires & Contracts May 22, 2024

There's plenty of ghosts down in the dungeon... and not all of them are dead. Dare ye journey deeper?

The Fogfen Few have their work cut out for them! Even now as they wander the abandoned library, now devoid of cannibal librarians, it seems like there's danger around every corner... both past and present. As our heroes blow dust off the dark secrets of the past, their domino effect on the present becomes clear. Welcome to the Fourth Floor, boys... this one's a real doozy.

Secrets get shared. Gaps get jumped. Teeth get bared.

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Queerest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... are doors part of the LGBT community?

Nominate Dice Will Roll to the CRIT Awards today! https://docs.google.com/document/d/1j9y813j6pa-e0yb-FeREZ1JryntuSx7RebWnAiCUEfI/edit?usp=sharing

Join the Safe Haven: A Weird West Tale Discord! https://discord.gg/ACXAzJ65Ye

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Original Theme Song by Sim @TheSimulacrae

The Hag by The Seventh Midnight

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Abomination Vaults Ep. 17: Churches & Chirurgeons May 14, 2024

The Fogfen Few spend some time exploring different avenues of healthcare, from magic to medicine. What secrets shall they uncover?

The last few days of dungeoneering have been rough. Cult leaders, flesh statues, cannibalism and curses... can't we just recover for a moment? Our heroes take a pit stop in Otari before diving back into the dungeon to prepare to reach the next floor. What remains undiscovered in the Library? What motives have gone un-checked? What quests have been completed? Why are there suddenly so many mitflits?! Boss Skrawng, explain yourself!!

Help gets refused. Books get read. Doors get closed.

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Queerest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like: when did Boss Skrawng become Sicilian? What do you mean, he was Sicilian all along and Derry needs to emphasize it because some people thought he was a Watto-type stereotype?

CONTENT WARNINGS: Medical needles, consumption and descriptions of raw meat, allusions to cannibalism, parallels to chronic illness, abusive relationships, THE PESTILENCE

Nominate Dice Will Roll to the CRIT Awards today! https://docs.google.com/document/d/1j9y813j6pa-e0yb-FeREZ1JryntuSx7RebWnAiCUEfI/edit?usp=sharing

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Original Theme Song by Sim @TheSimulacrae

Check out our website at https://www.dicewillroll.com/

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Abomination Vaults Ep. 16: Cultists & Crawlings May 07, 2024

A grim evil rots under the Abomination Vaults... can our heroes smell the stench?

The Cult of the Canker and it's grim ghouls patrol the library, performing profane rites in preparation of their so-called "Refleshening". As Fiore, Alrik and Silk sneak through the labyrinthine paths, seeking some way to best the wicked cannibal librarians. But between grumpy devils, ghostly sofas and ancient truths... it sure seems like they have their work cut out for them! Grip onto your torch, Fogfen Few... we're gonna plunge into darkness!

Hands get shook. Footsteps get retraced. Hearts get stopped.

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Queerest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... what do you do when the nice young man you've known for a week makes like Vordt of the Boreal Valley and then just kind of acts like that was a normal thing for a person to do?!

COTNENT WARNINGS: References to human decay and fungus growth, cannibalism, rotting meat, body horror, major character harm, no seriously what the hell do you do about that

Nominate Dice Will Roll to the CRIT Awards today! https://docs.google.com/document/d/1j9y813j6pa-e0yb-FeREZ1JryntuSx7RebWnAiCUEfI/edit?usp=sharing

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Original Theme Song by Sim @TheSimulacrae

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The Godsrain Prophecies Apr 29, 2024

What happens when a god dies?

Far, far away, a little nosoi psychopomp reads over a forgotten set of prophecies. Each has the same premise: this is what would happen to our world if one of its god dies. From hoardes of undead to terrible earthquakes, one must hope that none of them come true... right?

Join Dice Will Roll on this special episode, where Derry reads the Godsrain Prophecy short stories by Erin Roberts and weaves together ten tales of deicide for you to shiver to. Bewaaaare!

CONTENT WARNINGS: Major Character Deaths. Obviously. Themes of grief, loss, apocalypse and helplessness, imposter syndrome, alcoholism, chronic pain and chronic illness, eaten alive by predators, ego death, bad endings obviously obviously obviously, one surprisingly okay ending :thumbs up emoji:, intense lore dumps

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Abomination Vaults Ep. 15: Villains & Vendors Apr 23, 2024

Shadowy forces unite deep within the dungeon, and our heroes are in for hell!

Back into the dark the Fogfen Few delve! Alrik, Silk and Fiore slip back into the Vaults after their weekend off in Otari, keen to find more clues to the mysteries of the Gauntlight. But they're quick to discover: the dungeon is alive, and when they're not here to play, it'll find other people to occupy it. Treacherous foes, dark cults and scary monsters lurk in the shadows, putting together a grim master plan. Will our heroes be able to overcome them? Or are they the next skeletons to decorate the vaults?

Swamps get investigated. Books get collected. Gold gets spent.

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Queerest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... what is the nutritional benefit of a tattoo?

CONTENT WARNINGS: Cannibalism, skinning, gore and viscera, uncleanliness, capitalism

Special Thanks to Skye Evangeline for her Patreon Cameo!

Nominate Dice Will Roll to the CRIT Awards today! https://docs.google.com/document/d/1j9y813j6pa-e0yb-FeREZ1JryntuSx7RebWnAiCUEfI/edit?usp=sharing

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Original Theme Song by Sim @TheSimulacrae

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Abomination Vaults Ep. 14: Romance & Reveries Apr 15, 2024

Listen to what your heart yearns for, and reach out to love..!

The dungeons are dark, but the sun is bright. The Fogfen Few take the weekend off after a series of harrowing affairs... and their time together sparks some long awaited conversations. Get ready to have extremely amorous experiences in ways you never thought feasible as our heroes take a calm, relaxing time off, and everything comes together rosy and cute. Don't worry about the content warnings, it's fine! Look! They're flirting! Pay attention to that instead! Yaaaaay, love and peace in the beautiful town of Otari with its beautiful seasides!

Secrets get shared. Dreams get dreamt. Dinners get arranged.

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Queerest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... what's the closest to having explicit sex scenes a podcast can get without anything even remotely sexual happening?

CONTENT WARNINGS: Gore, depictions of gruesome player character death, non-explicit erotica, references to sex, self-hatred, unsanitary, allusions to childhood abuse or neglect, non-gendered dysphoria, psychosis-adjacent incidents, hallucinations, carnaphobia, osophobia, allusions to acts of hatred, blood, censored reclaimed homophobic slur played for comedy, violent intrusive thoughts, audience bullying, big beautiful fat gay men

Nominate Dice Will Roll to the CRIT Awards today! https://docs.google.com/document/d/1j9y813j6pa-e0yb-FeREZ1JryntuSx7RebWnAiCUEfI/edit?usp=sharing

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Dark haunting violin : Ghost Song by Max Ablitzer https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mCRa7S8O-tU

Even more sound effects provided by Syrinscape

Original Theme Song by Sim @TheSimulacrae

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Abomination Vaults Ep. 13: Gambits & Ghouls Apr 08, 2024

Cannibal librarians lurk in the shadows! Will you survive the Cult of the Canker?

The third floor of the dungeon is a maze of bookshelves, the stench of rotting flesh in the air. The Fogfen Few have quickly found themselves accosted by gruesome ghouls, demanding they donate their flesh to the grand Refleshening Ritual, and it's not sounding like it's gonna be a tooonne of fun. Maybe they had ought to consider it, though? Would cutting off your ear count as a charitable donation for tax reasons here..? No? Then hell no, get out of here, ghouls! It's the living versus the undead in unlucky episode 13... where I'm sure everyone will come out completely untraumatized!

Plans get hatched. Chairs get lounged on. Whispers get heard.

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Queerest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet where we ask the Hard Questions like... is there a spell to identify jerky?

CONTENT WARNINGS: Depictions of cannibalism, head trauma, lots and lots of blood, zombies (kind of?), traumatic incidents, bad endings, major character peril, themes of breach of taboo, sexy chair lounging

Nominate Dice Will Roll to the CRIT Awards today! https://docs.google.com/document/d/1j9y813j6pa-e0yb-FeREZ1JryntuSx7RebWnAiCUEfI/edit?usp=sharing

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Abomination Vaults Ep. 12: Crafts & Curses Apr 01, 2024

Our heroes spend some time in Otari... what secrets shall we learn about them today?

It's not all swords and sorcery in the town of Otari. The Fogfen Few approach the end of their first week in the dungeons, having only scratched the surface of whatever lies below their town. But they can't just rush blindly into battle... sometimes, you need a little break! As Fiore, Silk and Alrik go through some of their daily lives, hints of their past will be revealed... all before they return to the Abomination Vaults and face their fears below!

Hair gets ponytail'd. Lutes get strummed. Sacrifices get requested.

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Queerest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... should people in a fantasy world just cut their losses when someone goes missing?

CONTENT WARNINGS: References to childhood trauma and self hatred, depictions of anxiety and poor self-image, depictions of aging and senility, references to cannibalism and dismemberment, Steven Universe

Nominate Dice Will Roll to the CRIT Awards today! https://docs.google.com/document/d/1j9y813j6pa-e0yb-FeREZ1JryntuSx7RebWnAiCUEfI/edit?usp=sharing

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Abomination Vaults Ep. 11: Puppets & Peril Mar 25, 2024

The party travels beneath Apprentice Island! What horrors lie in the den of the wizard?

The Fogfen Few are assembling a puzzle, and none of the pieces fit together. Library cults? Mutant servants? Fleshwarping? The dungeon they find themselves in is a startlingly complex web of intrigue... and they need to start understanding it, and fast! Alrik, Silk and Fiore have a date with some answers... and maybe they'll find them beneath Apprentice Island, where they encountered the dreaded Mister Beak! Surely what they find here won't be half as horrifying as him... right?

Slime gets spewed. Books get read. Screams get scrum.

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Queerest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... what should we do when the GM starts ominously rolling?

CONTENT WARNINGS: Physical abuse, abusive power dynamics, filth and uncleanliness, maggots, slime, references to industrial meat processing, existential horror, suicidal ideation, religious trauma, the funniest character to ever exist in DWR history move aside Rigg Oddbody and Satsumeimo

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Abomination Vaults Ep. 10: Morlocks & Maggots Mar 19, 2024

The dreaded morlocks return! Battle 'em in the mountain of rubble!

The Fogfen Few are back in the clutches of the Great Evil morlocks! The torchlight flickers as these gangly monsters dart in the shadows, ready to cut our heroes down to size! But what are they doing here? What is their goal? Secrets upon secrets upon secrets await Alrik, Silk and Fiore as they step deeper and deeper into darknesss... and extinguish their torches in search of answers.

Ropes get tied. Bread gets floated. Letters get read.

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Queerest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... is it rude to tell someone you hate their god when their god LITERALLY represents something that makes you die?

CONTENT WARNINGS: Total and utter darkness, nyctophobia, extreme body horror, torture, ego death, weird pet/owner dynamics, gross worm sounds, cannibalism, references to religious violence and the crusades, chipper old white man

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Abomination Vaults Ep. 9: Traps & Tinkerers Mar 11, 2024

Fend off the gruesome morlocks and rescue Otari's townfolk from certain doom!

Science fiction is incredible. Great minds like H.G. Wells, one of the greatest minds of all time, nodding sagely as he dares ask "what if people were like pugs?" The Fogfen Few battle against the subterranean threat of the morlocks, those gaunt and terrible once-humans that plague the darkness. Why are they here? What's their goal? Do they have preciouses to hide from us? Our heroes will have to ask these questions and many more as they put together their resources and find out what, exactly, is the so-called "Great Evil" they espouse. Hold onto your torches-- it's gonna be a flickery ride!

Armour gets punched. Books get studied. Wells get listened to.

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Queerest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... what do you do when your crush's roommate is like, 500 years old?

CONTENT WARNINGS: Impalement, kidnapping, torture, human sacrifice, body horror, cosmic horror, nihilism, total ego death, sexy clueless blacksmith

---

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Abomination Vaults Ep. 8: Murk & Minotaurs Mar 04, 2024

Deeper and deeper we go... into the darkness that awaits us..!

Dungeons, traditionally, are pretty deep underground. Sure, that makes sense. But what do you do when you're in one that's quite as sprawling as this? Corridor after corridor, doorway after doorway... the dungeons below Otari stretch further than one can even begin to anticipate. And these halls aren't empty! Monsters lurk around every corner, spirits slink and mysteries await. Truly, this is the episode where Abomination Vaults becomes a dungeon crawl... and it's full of some deadly, delightful thrills. Can our torch-wielding heroes navigate the strange rooms and foes that await them as they continue on their quest to save Otari?

There's only one way to find out! Adventurers... duck your heads, and step into the unknown!

Secret doors get discovered. Rooms get searched. Everything you knew is unravelled.

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Queerest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... how the hell is Alrik doing that?!

CONTENT WARNINGS: Thalassophobia, references to torture, worms, flies and fly sounds, mild horror, H.G. Wells moments

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Abomination Vaults Ep. 7: Secrets & Skeletons Feb 26, 2024

BONES! BONES BONES! Get them rattling, everyone, it's bones the whole way down!

Everyone loves skeletons, obviously. It's what seperates us from the molluscs. And we hate those guys. But what do we do when the skeletons are outside our body, and rattling at us? Furthermore, what do we do when those skeletons seem to be piloted by a weird glowing light that's dragging them along?

The Fogfen Few are returning to the dungeon, ready to make their way to the next floor. What lies deeper in the darkness? What secrets await them? Will they find a way to stop the Gauntlight from ever glowing again? Or are they already too late... is Otari doomed? Surely they'll find out, if they can overcome the fearsome skellytons that are lurching at them right this moment!

Bones get rattled! Chairs get identified! Stairs get used!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Queerest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet where we ask the Hard Questions like: did Sun Tzu really say that?

CONTENT WARNINGS: References to sex, descriptions of pitch darkness, scary toilet

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Abomination Vaults Ep. 6: Scoundrels & Seers Feb 19, 2024

Tell the tale of the Fogfen Few! The legends of the Abomination Vaults await!

So, you saved your town from certain doom. Ain't that just swell? But there's a price that comes to fame, and it's that people now expect you to continue to save their lives from the horrors that crawl forth from the lighthouse. This is, clearly, less than ideal, unless you're some kind of big heroic adventuring type who LIKES saving the day. Oh, you are? Then that's just super! In that case, forget what I said! Hero, you have a job to do! Go to the tavern, meet with your friends, and plan out where your adventure will take you next. Butt heads with criminals, listen to some spooky stories, and tredge through the mud to enter the dungeon once again. Do you hear that, Fogfen Few? Adventure is calling!

Shoulders get gripped. Dolls get hugged. Altars get inspected.

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Queerest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... what's the deal with flirty bartenders?

CONTENT WARNINGS: References to sex, descriptions of pitch darkness, scary toilet

---

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Abomination Vaults Ep. 5: Graveyards & Gristle Feb 13, 2024

The dead are rising! It's up to us to save the town!

Oh boy, that's something you never wanna see. That right there? That's hordes of the undead. Major problem for a small town with very few defenses. See, these things, they're like if your grandad got up after dying, and had a hankering for human flesh. And see, the thing is, they're way more durable than a person, so it's gonna be a real pain to fight them... especially if they outnumber you 12 to 3. Now, normally, you'd want a professional crew here to take care of it-- y'know, some adventurers with a good bit of stuff under their belt, but in this case, it looks like our dungeoneering heroes will have to deal with it themselves. It's cheaper than hiring someone to do it, but I tell you hwat, it's not as certain they'll succeed. So whaddya say? Should we leave them to it, come back in a few hours, see if they manage? Or do you reckon that'll damn them to a gruesome death? Well... I suppose there's only one way to find out!

Songs get played. Lights get shone. Names get given.

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Queerest Pathfinder Podcast on the planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... is a voice changer a type of illusion spell?

CONTENT WARNINGS: The undead, zombies, undead-appropriate gore, crannial trauma, insects, beetles, mild arachnophobia, unsanitary, useless NPC combatants

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Abomination Vaults Ep. 4: Festivals & Fortunes Feb 06, 2024

Meet the good people of Otari, and enjoy the Founder's Festival!

Turns out, dungeon delving isn't all it's cracked up to be. You can get seriously exhausted by a day wrangling gremlins, maggots and dolls! So what's the reward for your hard work? A day of fun in the 500th Founder's Day Festival. Make yourself at home as we meet some of the stars of our heroes' hometown as we celebrate the 5th century of our little town. Play games, make conversation, and assume that this will be a light-hearted romp from start to finish. I wouldn't lie to you, now would I? Heroes of the vaults: get some R&R, and enjoy the sleepy town of Otari at its finest!

Riddles get solved. Fortunes get gleaned. Drinks get shared.

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Queerest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... what's a paladin's favourite beverage?

CONTENT WARNINGS: Second hand embarrassment (mild),implied death by falling from a height with SFX, absurd cow milking, themes of doom and annihilation, references to cannibalism, creepy little girls, toxic masculinity

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Original Theme Song by Sim @TheSimulacrae

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Abomination Vaults Ep. 3: Bogs & Beaks Jan 29, 2024

What mysteries await us on Apprentice Isle?

Our unnamed band of dungeoneers are getting into the swing of things now. Giant spiders, weird gremlins and spooky sinkholes? None of those are a match for these heroes! And yet the riddle of the ruins still perplexes them. What is this place? Why is there a giant lighthouse in the middle of a swamp? And who built it? With a little luck, some keen puzzle-solving and some nightmarishly tricky encounters, perhaps the jigsaw will start to put itself together soon. But what happens if this jigsaw is, itself... just another puzzle piece? Squawk!

Doors get charged. Figments get cast. Words get regretted so so so bad.

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Queerest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... what do we do when Paizo retcons huge plot details from our previous adventures?!

CONTENT WARNINGS: Maggots, Pools of Blood, Implied Willingness to eat Rotting Food, Detailed Descriptions of Head Agony and Mental Assault, Detailed Depictions of Mental Anguish, Freaky Alien

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Mr. Beak Meme Art by r/UpsideDownSmore

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Abomination Vaults Ep. 2: Mitflits & Mysteries Jan 23, 2024

Hark! Ruins full of gremlins await!

When you want to be an adventurer, you need to start small. And if rats in the basement won't do it for you, what's better than some ugly, vengeful, extremely pissy fey who are phenomenally good at getting their asses kicked? Our brave dungeoneers explore the ruins of a lighthouse hidden deep in a swamp of all places, looking for the glowing light that's been winking on the edge of Otari. Who put it there? Was it these mitflits? Surely it was the mitflits! There's no way something... mysterious is afoot, right..? Well, only one way to uncover! Hope you've got your pit climbing boots on... we've got a dungeon to uncover.

Ruins get explored. Sinkholes get inspected. Hands get kissed.

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Queerest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... is it your fault if you smash a friend directly into a wall when you were aiming for a bug?

CONTENT WARNINGS: Arachnaphobia (mild), Unsanitary, Extremely Scary Skeletons

—

Original Theme Song by Sim @TheSimulacrae

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Abomination Vaults Ep. 1: Torchlight & Tales Jan 15, 2024

Adventurers Wanted! Will you take this journey with us?

Nothing much happens in sleepy Otari, a town founded by a band of adventurers centuries ago. But when a strange light from beyond the Fogfen glows, three heroes are called to adventure to investigate. An elegant wizard... a sunny paladin... and a meek bard... who exactly put this group together? Is this the best we've got to offer? Maaaan. Well, it'll simply have to do. Join our heroes as they unwittingly journey into the Abomination Vaults, a megadungeon like no other in the beginning of our brand new adventure. Face terrible monsters, dangerous traps and ancient secrets as our 1970s style tale goes places no fools have ever dared travel... with a healthy dose of queer vibes and synth music, for good measure!

Fliers get read. Telescopes get gazed through. Doors get opened.

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Queerest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... does casting Warp Step count as gay speedwalking?

CONTENT WARNINGS: Fairy Poop

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Original Theme Song by Sim @TheSimulacrae

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Abomination Vaults Trailer Jan 07, 2024

Coming January 15th, 2024. Get extra loot on our Patreon!

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Ruby Phoenix Retrospective Sep 06, 2023

Already seeking the next challenge... the fight is all.

A look back at Fists of the Ruby Phoenix, the story we told, the stories we didn't, and the stories we'll be telling soon.

Sound by Syrinscape: Because Your Games Deserve Epic Sound

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Ruby Phoenix Ep. 50: Glory & Goodbyes Sep 05, 2023

SO LONG RADIANT WINDS! The Adventure Comes To An End!

It's been a long, long tournament... but it's finally over. More than 100 knockouts, countless crits and untold amounts of damage... it all ends here. The Radiant Winds are back in Goka, saying goodbye to their greatest friends and the memories they've made throughout the greatest journey they've ever been on. Where will the other teams go? What will the Radiant Winds do next? And what prize shall they claim from the vault of the Ruby Phoenix? Now that it's finally all through... we can earn our happily ever after.

HUGS get given. GOODBYES get said. LOVE gets confessed.

All this and more in this, the final episode of Dice Will Roll: Ruby Phoenix, where we ask the Hard Questions like... are there cheat codes for Pathfinder?

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"Alex Productions - Lights" is under a Creative Commons (CC BY 3.0) license.

Life Blossom by Keys of Moon

"Africa" by Liborio Conti (Free Royalty Free Music / Free No Copyright Music CC-BY)

Acoustic Guitar instrumental {Non Copyrighted} | Guitar arrangement for song

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Ruby Phoenix Ep. 49: Showdowns & Starscapes Aug 29, 2023

THE RADIANT WINDS VS. THE SCULPTOR! FINAL BATTLE ATOP THE GLASS LIGHTHOUSE!

And so, we enter the domain of the Final Boss.

From the earliest days exploring the island of Bonmu, to the death-defying brawls of the Ruby Phoenix Tournament, to the peaks of Iron Mountain... we now stand at the doorway of the Sculptor. Locked away for thousands of years, a great evil threatens to take Golarion by storm if he is not stopped now. But do our heroes stand a chance against a man with the power of gods, who stood up to-- and defeated-- the Ruby Phoenix? Can they overcome the most powerful opponent they'll ever battle? Will this end in a flawless victory... or a terrible fatality? Everything we've fought for comes down to this. It's do or die. It's sink or swim. It's time... to defeat Syndara the Sculptor!

READY?

FIGHT!

PERFECT new techniques in a last minute preparation for the final fight! CLIMB the silver thread to the heavens and see creation from a bird's eye view! FACE the strongest opponent in Pathfinder 2nd Edition thusfar!

All this and more in this, the penultimate episode of Fists of the Ruby Phoenix, where we ask the Hard Questions like... why am I kind of feeling like eating some seafood right now?

CONTENT WARNINGS: Head trauma, extensive body horror, the end of reality

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Ruby Phoenix Returns August 28th! Aug 17, 2023

We thank you very much for your patience over the last month and a half! It hasn't been an easy few weeks, but we're confident to announce that the show will return to its normal scheduling in 1 week. We'd previously announced it would be good to go this week, but unfortunately, there was one final misschedule on my part that means we need one last week extra to record. Afterwards, we're confident that we can have that hyped up conclusion to Fists of the Ruby Phoenix that we've all been waiting for! Thank you all a million for listening to Dark Archive and to our special episodes, and we can't wait for you to be there when we finally take down the big bad boss of Ruby Phoenix!

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Dark Archive Ep. 3: Paintings & Poltergeists Aug 09, 2023

DARK ARCHIVE CASE 03: LADY OF THE HARVEST

Rain falls and thunder roils in the horror-stricken lands of Ustalav. T. Bleydre and Harrow-Reaver return to the town that Dice Will Roll owes its history to: the sleepy farming village of Ravengro. Here, a lonely mansion sits on a hill, inviting people to view the beautiful art left abandoned for centuries here. But what else lies within? Who else walks these halls? And what secrets are tied to the curse of the Lady of the Harvest?

Listeners beware! You're in for a scare!

Floorboards get creaked. Shadows get struck. Mirrors get gazed.

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, where we ask the Hard Questions like... among... us..?

CONTENT WARNINGS: Horror, paranoia, gaslighting, strangulation, PC vs PC deception, unreality, Derry's Greatest Fear (revealed at 8:29)

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Art by Derry Luttrell

Music by Kevin MacLeod

Karl Casey @ White Bat Audio

Midnight Clown by Moonstone Warlock: https://www.youtube.com/@moonstonewarlock

Sound by Syrinscape: Because Your Games Deserve Epic Sound

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Dark Archive Ep. 2: Music & Mutants Jul 31, 2023

DARK ARCHIVE CASE 02: A SONG OF MAKING & UNMAKING

T. Bleydre and Harrow-Reaver reconvene a week after their investigation into the cryptid case of the Beast of Birchfrost. Now, they have a second case to break wide open, and secrets to spill. A monastery is under siege by a strange music note... one that damns all those that hear it. What happens to the victims of this song? What are its sinister origins? And will the investigator and the thaumaturge overcome the horrors they themselves are exposed to? The Dark Archive mini-campaign continues as our heroes go further than they've ever gone before... and confront an ancient evil threatening the nation of Xopatl.

Listeners beware! You're in for a scare!

Toads get held. Earplugs get worn. Caves get spelunked.

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, where we ask the Hard Questions like... can giant undead beetles use white canes?

CONTENT WARNINGS: Horror, body horror, mutation, immolation, unnerving and uncomfortable sustained notes of singing, insects, zombies, demons, references to teenage pregnancy, eye horror, wrist horror, bone trauma, domestic life

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Art by Derry Luttrell

Music by Kevin MacLeod

Sound by Syrinscape: Because Your Games Deserve Epic Sound

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Dark Archive Ep. 1: Cryptids & Case Files Jul 24, 2023

DARK ARCHIVE CASE 01: THE BEAST OF BIRCHFROST

A detective closes up shop for the day, ready to retire for the evening, when a mysterious stranger shows up on his doorstep with an even more mysterious folio. The contents of these files are beyond supernatural: time loops, doppelgangers, mindscapes... proof of the impossible. And yet something truly unnatural is tied to these files beyond their mere contents... a strange power that will take our two unlikely adventurers on paranormal adventures like no other.

Join the tiefling investigator T. Bleydre and the catfolk thaumaturge Harrow-Reaver as they read through a catalogue of the strangest phenomenon of Golarion in The Dark Archives, a limited series of connected one-shots made to fill the gap before the finale of Dice Will Roll: Fists of the Ruby Phoenix.

Listeners beware! You're in for a scare!

Tea gets made. Naps get taken. Forests get explored.

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, where we ask the Hard Questions like... does coriander repel boars?

CONTENT WARNINGS: Horror, wilderness horror, animal attacks, eye trauma, occultism, representation at last (tieflings and furries)

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Art by Derry Luttrell

Music by Kevin MacLeod

Sad Medieval Music by Derek Fietcher https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YwQWZUqJ8qM

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Quick Announcement From Luna Jul 21, 2023

Hey folks! The long and short is Luna's gonna be away for a little while for family reasons. We're sorry about the timing-- we wanna wrap up Ruby Phoenix too, but we wanna do it the best way we can! We'll have some very exciting new content on Mondays for a little while before we get to our grand finale. Thanks all! Get extra loot on our Patreon!

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Extinction Curse Special: Volio Via's Apology Video Jul 17, 2023

This episode contains spoilers for all of Extinction Curse!

Look. Sometimes, people make mistakes. And it's important to take accountability for these mistakes. That way, nobody's ever allowed to get mad at you ever no matter what. Because you already said sorry. And for someone as erratic as the famous clown, Volio Via... There's a lot to apologize for. So he made an apology video. Just for you. Enjoy.

CONTENT WARNINGS: References to suicide, family trauma and genocide.

Music

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pbj1kIaIfdg

https://youtu.be/KfAHQq263RM

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Ruby Phoenix Special: The Witch-Prince of the Sea Jul 10, 2023

Gather round, adventurers! Today, we recount the tale of a young boy, and the day he met a dragon. Listen as we hear the story of how Sangku became a witch, how he learned his magic, and how he saved Balam village! Journey back to the very start and see how the story begins just before it ends.

CONTENT WARNINGS: Controlling mothers, bad parenting, abuse, child endangerment, references to cannibalism, children given responsibility before their time, Lolo mass murder arc

https://youtu.be/7_cwKd81z7Q

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d4YFEGel14M

https://youtu.be/n-DSlTO2pnE

https://youtu.be/HhWzj4FmcS0

https://youtu.be/9aYLxzcFSiw

https://youtu.be/uH1EEZ1yIwE

https://youtu.be/-BCDJMs_AuQ

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Ruby Phoenix Ep. 48: Friendship & Fatalities Jul 04, 2023

VERSUS THE LIGHTKEEPERS! ROUND 3!

Only the strongest foes remain. The Radiant Winds have battled kaiju. They've outsmarted ninjas. But now... the final challenge awaiting them on their path to the peak of the Glass Lighthouse are a dark mirror of themselves. The White Haired Witch. The Wicked Noble. The Mad Monk. The Exiled Necromancer. It's time for a final battle against the Radiant Wind's most dire of foes, with one catch... this time, there are no rules. It's a fight to the death in the planar focus of the Glass Lighthouse, and who knows where the fight of a lifetime will take our heroes! Will they keep the winning streak of the Invincible Radiant Winds alive? Or is this where the legend ends?

READY?

FIGHT!

VENTURE deeper into the impossible realm of the Glass Lighthouse! BATTLE against the most wicked of enemies around! PREPARE yourselves for the final battle of the campaign!

THREE EPISODES REMAIN.

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Queerest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... how much fanservice can we cram into one episode?

CONTENT WARNINGS: Serious and extreme acts of bullying, revealing of secrets without consent, suicidal ideation, head trauma, rotting flesh, drowning, gross gory sound effects, character death, electrocution, GET THEIR ASSES RADIANT WINDS

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Ruby Phoenix Ep. 47: Masters & Mazes Jun 26, 2023

FINAL SHOWDOWN! THE MAZE OF GENHARA!

The Radiant Winds have done it. They've collected the Conch of the Deep fragments. They've learned Syndara's wretched past. They've earned entry into the Glass Lighthouse. Now they must scale the three levels of the interdimensional dungeon of the final boss. First floor: a meeting with an old foe, with a long nose and jet-black wings. As our heroes rise to be level 20... will they be strong enough, even now, to face the cruel leader of Oni's Mask? Or will the ninja clan add three more victims to their impossibly long list of claimed lives?

READY?

FIGHT!

SPEAK to the yokai of the Night Market before preparing an impossible journey! NAVIGATE the treacherous puzzles of the yamabushi master. DEFEAT the horrors of your past, once and for all!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Queerest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... IS everybody gangsta til the house start walkin?

CONTENT WARNINGS: Confronting abusers, heavy angst, depictions of panic attacks, decapitation, impalement, gas attacks, incineration, epic shonen beatdowns

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Firelighting Ceremony by Sancho and Morin

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Ruby Phoenix Ep. 46: Akumas & Awakenings Jun 20, 2023

BATTLE AT THE CHAMPION'S GATE! The Ultimate Enemies!

It's all come down to this. The final Conch of the Deep fragment awaits our heroes at the entrance to the Glass Lighthouse, and once they beat the final Hungry Ghosts, they'll be granted entrance into the realm of the Sculptor. But of course... these Hungry Ghosts aren't like the others they've faced so far. They've got history with the Radiant Winds... stretching all the way back to Danger Island. A frenzied third round rematch awaits the Radiant Winds in the shadow of Syndara... but will they be able to bring themselves to destroy their opponents? Or will they fall to the power of the Fractal Jungle at the last obstacle?

READY?

FIGHT!

COMPLETE the ancient relic and see its final mystery! DUEL with the vicious Champions Of The Gate! REACH the apex of your power before the final adventure!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Queerest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... is it appropriate to yell FATALITY at a funeral?

CONTENT WARNINGS: Weed jokes, light-hearted references to suicide and abortion, gruesome and distressing depictions of on-screen major character death, spinal trauma, chest trauma, head and mouth trauma, just the most emotionally devastating angst possible, there's a cool seahorse though so that should balance it out

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• https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XQaNaFtI11Q&list=PLfP6i5T0-DkKt8eo7u222EnUO4N7Q3raT&index=1

"Alex Productions - Lights" is under a Creative Commons (CC BY 3.0) license.

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"Cjbeards - Shattered Glass" is under a Creative Commons (CC-BY 3.0) license Music promoted by BreakingCopyright: https://bit.ly/bkc-shattered-glass

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Ruby Phoenix Ep. 45: Hatchlings & Heroics Jun 13, 2023

FACE YOUR FEARS! Baby Mokku Is Here!

Sure, why not? This couldn't get any more bizarre. As the Radiant Winds draw near the end of their journey through the Fractal Jungle, they have some of their most curious encounters yet. Giant babies... strange mazes... mysteries of the past... the future is uncertain, but the past is full of horrors. Is it time for our brave adventurers to look back and face their greatest nightmare one last time? Or can they outrun their pasts, never growing from the fear that's been stricken into their hearts?

READY?

FIGHT!

PLAY with the world's coolest baby! OBSERVE the strange art that boggles the mind! WITNESS the final fight between Sculptor and Phoenix!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Queerest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... which of the cast members read Hetalia Yaoi as a kid. Go ahead, guess.

CONTENT WARNINGS: Head Trauma, Jaw Trauma, Decapitation, Intense Angst, Whump, That Means Seriously The Angst Is Intense, Intense Hurt/Comfort, On-Screen Realistic Depictions of Panic Attacks and Sobbing, Body Trauma, Limb Trauma, Don't Worry It's A Lot Of Catharsis Too, Vocalization Of Self-Hatred, Plot Twist So Hardcore Not Even Ritz Can Make Jokes About It, BABY HOUR

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Jungle Floor - by Jonny Easton Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FtJ03-g83Yg

Lost | Dark Piano Music | Royalty free Music by Jonathan Segev https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IxoQBKUKLV8

"LIGHTS" by Alex Productions https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XQaNaFtI11Q&list=PLfP6i5T0-DkKt8eo7u222EnUO4N7Q3raT

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Ruby Phoenix Ep. 44: Traders & Tortoises Jun 05, 2023

THE FAT SERPENT BITES ITS OWN TAIL! The wonders of the Night Market!!

After a long day fighting ninjas and wrestling clockwork monsters, our heroes are taking a well earned rest in the realm of the yokai. With their pockets heavy and unimaginable treasure all around, what legendary gear will they pick up at the Yokai Night Market? What strange creatures will they encounter? What incredible secrets will they unravel? And where shall their journey take them next?

READY?

FIGHT!!

PERUSE the mythic wears of the yokai craftsmen! UNCOVER the hidden past of an old foe! DISCOVER the missing child in all their unlikeliness!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Queerest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... remind me again, how DOES a rokurokubi wear a scarf?

CONTENT WARNINGS: Tobacco usage, discussion of curses, implied bisection, shopping episode

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Ruby Phoenix Special: To Love A Samurai May 29, 2023

OPEN YOUR HEART! Pierced by the blade of LOVE!

After a scheduling issue stopped a group of gamers from playing one week, the cunning sorcerer Ritz said to the wise gamemaster Derry, "All else fails we do a dramatized reading of Hikari's terrible romance book." And so it was made; the gamemaster set off on an epic quest and wrote 2.5k words in the space of two days. A tale of cheesy romance, terrible similes and "buoyant breasts" that captured the heart of Hikari Tanazaki... and now, Lolosadagat and Xie Chuji. Listen carefully, adventurers, for a tale of two hearts and the blade of a katana between them.

DATES get made. SWORDS get slashed. SECRETS get revealed.

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Queerest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... can hips look like stars? What? What the hell does that mean?

CONTENT WARNINGS: Second-hand embarrassment, being caught in sexual situations, allusions and references to sex, bad writing, bad women's anatomy, horny old men (Lolo), implied adultery

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Lost in Japan · Japanese Zen Shakuhachi

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A Dream Within a Dream by Twin Musicom is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution license (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/)

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Ready For War by EnviQ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ad2dxOM9DJw

Sexy by Bensound https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kIdt6NVPfpg

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Ruby Phoenix Ep. 43: Markets & Mercenaries May 22, 2023

ONI'S MASK RISES! BATTLE THE MANY-TAILED!

Ninjas. Why's it always gotta be ninjas?! The Radiant Winds square off against some of their most lethal rivals-- the dreaded villains of Oni's Mask. Armed to the teeth with kunai, katanas and shurikens, these vicious assassins outnumber our heroes ten to one! But they're lacking something the Radiant Winds have to spare: the hearts of heroes! As our adventuring party clashes with the ninja clan, one thing's for sure: there will be blood. The only question is... whose blood will it be?

READY?

FIGHT!

SKIRMISH with the deadly ninjas in the shadow of the crater! SEE the breaking point of the vicious Sculptor! EXPLORE the Night Market of the yokai and prepare yourself for some strange encounters!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Queerest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... is a *little* murder okay?

CONTENT WARNINGS: Gore, gruesome descriptions of combat, cannibalism, more sex jokes than normal, decapitation, gross sound effects, sexy monster Chuji

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Ruby Phoenix Ep. 42: Kinnari & Kitsune May 15, 2023

GAZE UPON THE SKY! Mountain of Telescopes!

3 down, 4 to go! The Radiant Winds continue their quest to collect the fragments of the Conch of the Deep and explore the bizarre Fractal Jungle. But after yokai, lions and chair-drow, surely stuff can't get stranger than this..? What curiosities populate the Island In The Sky? What stands between our heroes and the Ruby Phoenix? And what nightmares from the past does Syndara have in store for the party? Only one way to find out-- climb the ruins of the Jungle Observatory and seek the trapped bird woman within, and find out for yourselves!

READY?

FIGHT!

SNEAK through the orreries and telescopes of the ancient past! DISCUSS with the embodiment of love about the adventures that await you! STAND UP against the boogeyman of your childhood, come back to take you to hell!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Queerest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... how DO you pronounce eidolon?

CONTENT WARNINGS: Themes of manipulation of the neurodivergent, parental abuse, implied child abuse, medical horror and amputations, Wayne's World references

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Still by Ross Bugden https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=962VmrIh9vQ&list=PL42Li5NuO3yhjViYNUhxcxVwZSFVsLOj-&index=4 Indian Traditional Temple Instrumental Music by NO COPYRIGHT VIBES https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K1RLsfWDRgw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IC5fl6PwvfI

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Ruby Phoenix Ep. 41: Yokai & Yagura May 08, 2023

ENCOUNTER IN THE JUNGLE! Come see the Night Parade!

The Radiant Winds continue their final journey on an extradimensional island! As they seek out the Hungry Ghosts of Syndara the Sculptor and uncover his mysterious past, they'll come face to face with some of the strangest inhabitants of the Fractal Jungle. Sandals... umbrellas... tongues... what bizarre spirits await them on their bizarre adventure? What do you do when logic falls second place to folklore? And will they be able to hold their own? Or will the strange land they find themselves in claim three more souls for the Sculptor of Worlds?

READY? FIGHT!

WATCH the bon dance of the wicked bard! EAT delicious, out of this world food! UNCOVER the stories behind the teacher and his student!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Queerest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... how... how big are his... y'know...

CONTENT WARNINGS: Mind control and enslavement, classism, implied xenophobia, discussion of genitalia, finger clicking, gay furrybait

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Composer: Whitesand (Martynas Lau) Year: 2018 Title: Melody Of My Dreams

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Ruby Phoenix Ep. 40: Lions & Lava May 01, 2023

JOURNEY THROUGH THE FRACTAL JUNGLE! The Radiant Winds seek out Hungry Ghosts?!

The endgame is upon us as our heroes brawl through the island of the wicked mastermind behind their greatest challenges. With biomes that don't fit together, droning insects and strange guides, the Radiant Winds find themselves reaching the impossible. But with the power of friendship, anything is possible! They'll grab the Conch of the Deep fragments, brawl Syndara's champions and save the Ruby Phoenix tournament... but will they do it one piece? Or will the wicked foes of the Island in the Sky finally be the ones to break the winning streak of the Invincible Radiant Winds?!

READY? FIGHT!!

SPEAK with your ancestor and find the truth behind their mysterious past! WRESTLE with a blindingly fast foe deep underground! UNCOVER the the past as you fight your way forward!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Queerest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... how gullible IS Ritz, really?

CONTENT WARNINGS: Bugs, South Park References, Yeah That's About It

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Ruby Phoenix Ep. 39: Gateways & Grandmasters Apr 24, 2023

PIERCE THE HEAVENS! Enter the Fractal Jungle!

The Radiant Winds have raced with kaiju. They've mastered ancient arts. They've summoned gods. And despite all that... this was the easy part. As the Celestial Jian makes its maiden journey into the Island in the Sky, our heroes will have to get ready to fight their most dangerous foes yet. Will they survive the twisted plans of an ancient mastermind returned to our realm? Or is this curtains for the Invincible Radiant Winds?

SPEAK to your friends and loved ones one final time! TRAVERSE the dimensional sea in search of your goal! ENCOUNTER the most despicable evil imaginable!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Queerest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... is the Celestial Jian a JoJo's Bizarre Adventure reference?

CONTENT WARNINGS: Discussions of suicidal ideation and suicide attempts, trauma from lost limbs, angst, plane crashes, bullying and harassment, raised voices, Doctor Who references

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AW JEEZ THERE'S EVEN MORE ADDITIONAL MUSIC BY DANYA VODOVOZ

We Were Warriors by Sai Das - released under CC-BY 4.0. www.scottbuckley.com.au

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Ruby Phoenix Ep. 38: Wishes & Wyrms Apr 18, 2023

MAKE YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE! Intercession On Iron Mountain!

It all comes to this. The Radiant Winds and the champions of the Ruby Phoenix Tournament have all gathered to be in the same place— the tallest peak in the Flying Mountains. Here, they'll perform a sacred dance and gain the attention of an all-powerful dragon who can bend reality to make any wish come true. With this, they'll be able to enter the Island in the Sky... but what will they have to give up to do so? Will the Radiant Winds stand strong by the end of the day... or will they fall apart?

DANCE the kagura dance to summon the once-in-a-zodiac wish dragon! LEARN terrible secrets about your closest friends and shake your understanding of them! WISH upon a dragon, no matter what it takes!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Queerest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... what are the mechanical benefits of the power of friendship?

CONTENT WARNINGS: Extreme angst, PTSD episodes and reliving trauma, major character death, suicide, sacrifices, in-party deceit, megalophobia, broken trust, shirtless old man in the snow

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AW JEEZ THERE'S EVEN MORE ADDITIONAL MUSIC BY DANYA VODOVOZ

'Celestial' by Scott Buckley - released under CC-BY 4.0. www.scottbuckley.com.au

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Ruby Phoenix Ep. 37: Boundaries & Battlefields Apr 10, 2023

THROUGH THE BATTLEFIELDS! The Great Kaiju Warzone!!

The Radiant Winds have overcome impossible odds before. Lethal oni. Vicious dinosaurs. Ninja lords. But do they have the strength to outrun not one, but TWO terrible kaiju?! In the crater of Alru and Toraloa, our heroes have no choice but to speed towards the Boundary Tree in order to claim the final component of the ritual to summon the Celestial Dragon. Will our heroes be able to make it out in one piece? Or will this be the unexpected end to one of their tales?

READY?

FIGHT!

WRESTLE with the monstrous, mage-eating leydroth that hungers for your friends! RACE through the Blasted Lands as two kaiju brawl! FIND the secret of the elusive Boundary Tree!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Queerest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... how much embarrassment damage do you take if your closest friends see you do some gay shit?

CONTENT WARNINGS: Discussions of Major Character Death, Permanent Scarring, Third Degree Burns, Angst, Certifiable Blush Inducing Moments

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AW JEEZ THERE'S EVEN MORE ADDITIONAL MUSIC BY DANYA VODOVOZ

"Undertow" by @ScottBuckley

'Lonesome Journey' by Keys of Moon Music

"Ethereal" by Punch Deck

Pokémon Scarlet & Violet: "Battle! VS Elite Four - Last Pokémon!" by Ludwig van Larx

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Ruby Phoenix Ep. 36: Craters & Colossi Apr 03, 2023

GODS OF THE STORM! Clash of the Kaiju!!

The Radiant Winds dive head-first into danger once more over the eternal storm of the Blasted Lands. Therein, there are two warring kaiju, an immovable object brawling with an unstoppable force. And if that weren't bad enough, deep in the acidic rain of the storm surrounding the site, two terrible annoying no-good brothers are trying to gobble the Radiant Winds up! Our heroes will have to brave the wrath of the tempest if they want to make it through this one... but what awaits them inside the Blasted Lands themselves?

READY?

FIGHT!

BRAWL with kaminari over the perpetual storm and an infinite drop! ENTER the long-forgotten lands and find your way to the treasure! WITNESS the power of the unkillable and cower as it comes your way!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Queerest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... what does it mean when your sword starts counting?

CONTENT WARNINGS: comparisons to cancerous growths, decapitation, descriptions of being deafened by loud noises, sexy slime mommy

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AW JEEZ THERE'S EVEN MORE ADDITIONAL MUSIC BY DANYA VODOVOZ

"Battle! VS Primal Arceus!" (XY Style / Fan-Made) by Ludwig van Larx

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Ruby Phoenix Ep. 35: Quests & Queens Mar 27, 2023

FOR GLORY AND CONQUEST! The Fated Linnorm Confrontation!

A quick detour on their journey to save Hao Jin takes the Radiant Winds to the last place they'd expect to fight: an island full of terrible linnorms! These monstrous wyrms with their terrible death curses are true legendary beasts... and their heart is worth something more than just a grand tale to some warriors. As they face down these titanic foes to save the life of a friend, the Radiant Winds are about to learn a dire lesson... one learned in blood. Will they triumph? Or will they, too, go down as the latest in countless slain by the guardians of the cairn?

READY?

FIGHT!

WRESTLE with terrible, snake-like dragons on a skull-shaped island! WITNESS the power of the infinite storm! DIVE into danger pursued by fiendish foes!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Queerest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... if the Radiant Winds win this fight, does that make them Queenmakers?

CONTENT WARNINGS: Major character death, excessive gore and descriptions of raw meat and viscera, implied eye gore, angst, two giant Rigg Gargadillies (less cool)

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AW JEEZ THERE'S EVEN MORE ADDITIONAL MUSIC BY DANYA VODOVOZ

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Ruby Phoenix Ep. 34: Katanas & Kirins Mar 20, 2023

CHAMPIONS VS PHANTOMS! A Battle On The Other Side!

The Radiant Winds have learned the mystic Rai Sho dance, but there is still more to do before they gain a wish from the Celestial Dragon! Next on the list: the title of intercessor. But claiming it from a ghostly warrior in another realm won't be easy... especially not with her mighty steed by her side! It's time for the Radiant Winds to put forward some of the advanced fighting techniques they learned through their time in the Ruby Phoenix Tournament. Fists as fast as lightning! Overwhelming spells! A mix of magic and might! Can our heroes overcome the phantom monk in the Bay of Blades? Or are they doomed to forever walk the Shore Between Worlds too?

READY?

FIGHT!

OUTPACE the ghostly swordswoman on the beach of stardust! PERFORM strange rituals to gleam answers of decades old mysteries! CHOOSE the one among you willing to risk it all!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Queerest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... how much are you willing to give up to get to your goal?

CONTENT WARNINGS: Themes of sacrifice, major character death discussion, oblivion and the afterlife, loss of loved ones, death themes in general, discussion of BDSM, kink and fetishes, jokes about virginity, Masami's Infinite Rizz

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AW JEEZ THERE'S EVEN MORE ADDITIONAL MUSIC BY DANYA VODOVOZ

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Ruby Phoenix Ep. 33: Samsarans & Swordswomen Mar 14, 2023

THE PAST, THE PRESENT AND THE FUTURE... ALL AT ONCE?!

In search of answers, the Radiant Winds found themselves on the door of the Rai Sho Monastery... only to be handed a whole lot of other questions. Not dramatic, world-changing questions, but more ones like "hey, does time work right here?" or "what's up with these guys' interpretation of Irori?" and stuff. And now, those questions have become MUCH more panicked, along the lines of "Oh my god, the Abbot does WHAT in combat?! We have to fight THEM?" And the answer is yes! If you want the secrets of Rai Sho... you'll need to get through THEM!

READY?

FIGHT!

DUEL against the chronopaired monks! LEARN the secrets of the summoning ritual! STAND on the shore between worlds and face a terribly scary woman!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Queerest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... does having a malefail for a past life make you a malefail?

CONTENT WARNINGS: Ghosts and descriptions of young dead, discussions of reincarnation and time loops, discussions of loss of an elderly loved one, sexy ghost

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Ruby Phoenix Ep. 32: Yaks & Yetis Mar 06, 2023

DEEP IN THE MOUNTAINS! The Mysterious Monastery!

The ultimate ritual awaits the Radiant Winds in their quest to save the Ruby Phoenix! But to complete it, they need some esoteric components... and their starting point is a humble monastery of monks in the mountains! What strange secrets to these meditating masters hide? What are the purposes of the peculiar tasks they are given in service of them? Is time real here? Is this a time-loop situation? So many questions lay on the shoulders of our heroes... and there's only one way to find the truth!

READY? FIGHT!

MEDITATE among the monks and find the secrets to their secret dance! CHASE the tasks set ahead of you in order to earn their patronage! FLEE alongside former rivals in a race against a truly mighty foe!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Queerest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... can you be disqualified from enlightenment for finding creative solutions to puzzles?

CONTENT WARNINGS: Allusions to claustrophobia and being crushed, discussions of reincarnation and time loops, autism-coded frustration and anger, malefails

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Ruby Phoenix Ep. 31: Alps & Astrology Feb 27, 2023

INTO THE WALL OF HEAVEN! MYSTERIES AWAIT US..?

Hot on the trail of the Ruby Phoenix, the Radiant Winds fly through the sky aboard the Solar Jian II. But when their journey comes to an unexpected halt, they must find a new way to uncover what's next, even if that means looking in the most unusual of places. Twelve statues sit around a dais, and upon them are clues from the past... will the Radiant Winds rise to the challenge? Or is this place too startling for one of them to continue?

READY? FIGHT!

CRUISE through the clouds on the world's most advanced airship! PUSH past your fears in order to save your friends! STUDY the ancient scripts, and what they may mean for the future!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Queerest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... is lava a safe way to power my hot bath?

CONTENT WARNINGS: Allusions to drowning, in-party deception, Dragon Ball

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Ruby Phoenix Ep. 30: Winds & Wayfarers Feb 21, 2023

SAVE THE PHOENIX! JOURNEY SOUTH-EAST!

After the single worst day in the history of Goka, the city stumbles to its feet. Our heroes have saved everyone... but a terrible tragedy has still occurred. Gathered by the Empress and given a new, final quest, the Radiant Winds and the finalists of the Ruby Phoenix Tournament need to team up and race to the rescue. As they take on treasures granted only to the greatest of adventurers and say goodbye to old friends and hello to new ones, a legendary expedition is about to unfold. What awaits our heroes in the Wall of Heaven? Will they meet their destiny? Or will destiny consume them? Gather your strength... the last level is upon us!

READY?

FIGHT!

STAND despite everything and stride to the future! GREET old faces near forgotten as you prepare your journey forth! FLY along the radiant winds that guide you and grab fate to claim it as your own!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Queerest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... how thirsty can one NPC make the entire party?

CONTENT WARNINGS: Themes of natural disaster, allusions to childhood trauma, big fat man titties

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Dice Will Roll: An Interview With Luis Loza! Feb 13, 2023

WARNING! This Episode contains major spoilers for Fists of the Ruby Phoenix as a whole, in particular Book 1: Despair on Danger Island!

From the far-off and mystical land of "Washing-ton" comes a powerful mage with powers untold. With one hand, he can create infinite lore that defines the world of Golarion. With the other, he tells tales that are incredible, breath-taking and fascinating to behold. It is of course, none other than the mighty Archauthor Luis Loza I, and he's somehow on our show today! In this very special interview, Luis talks to us about what went into writing Fists of the Ruby Phoenix, from the genesis of Danger Island to cut content that didn't make it to the final book and beyond. Dare ye peer into the mind of a storyteller with powers so great he can add unspeakable horrors to them, like sick movie references?!

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Ruby Phoenix Ep. 0: Spirits & Stories Jan 30, 2023

Before The Legend! Our Journey Starts Here!

Long before the Ruby Phoenix Tournament, before the trials of Danger Island, before their many journeys together... there was a group of adventurers who set out to take the world by storm. A charming witch-prince, a mysterious ninja and a rough-and-tumble monk team up for their first quest together in this prequel to the Fists of the Ruby Phoenix campaign, recorded months before our adventures began! Listen today and relive our heroes earliest tale together!

READY?

FIGHT!

WRESTLE with animals on a faraway island! BEFRIEND strange inhabitants of the forests, the mountains and the sea! PROVE your might against the many challenges that await you!

All this and more in this prequel to Campaign 3 of Dice Will Roll, where we ask the Hard Questions like... How the hell do you name your own party?

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Ruby Phoenix Ep. 29: Danger & Daimyos Jan 16, 2023

THE TENGU BOSS! CHASE DOWN THE LEADER OF ONI'S MASK!

Machinations reveal themselves as the Radiant Winds uncover the villain behind Mogaru's attack on Goka. Now it's a race against the clock to save the city from this wicked mastermind and his plan to see the City of Wonders crumble! Dangerous duels, terrible secrets and more unfold as the stakes become real for the Radiant Winds. Will they survive the assassination of Goka? And even if they do... who won't?

READY?

FIGHT!

FLY through the skies of Goka to catch the wicked criminal boss! DUEL against your past atop the burning palace! UNDERSTAND the awful truth of the plot you've found yourself entangled in!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Queerest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... how can you survive being stepped on by a kaiju?

CONTENT WARNINGS: Natural disaster, massive loss of life, references to child neglect, abuse and labor, the sickest mental images you've ever seen

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AW JEEZ THERE'S EVEN MORE ADDITIONAL MUSIC BY DANYA VODOVOZ

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Ruby Phoenix Ep. 28: Kings & Kaijus Jan 11, 2023

CHAOS ON THE STREETS! THE FINAL KING RISES!!

The moment they've been fighting for has been snatched from them. The city they call home has come under siege. The sky turns orange with smoke. And the Radiant Winds are fucking pissed. Our heroes come face to face with a walking natural disaster, and must save the city! Rushing through the streets of Goka, saving civilians and trying to figure out how to solve the colossal foe that seeks to do them harm. For the first time ever... This is a threat the Radiant Winds can't overcome through force! Will they prevail? Or is it curtains for the Radiant Winds?

READY?

FIGHT!

RESCUE civilians from certain peril! SOLVE long forgotten puzzles with clues you'd discarded! SURVIVE the rampage of the king of the Kaiju!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Queerest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... Will Derry PLEASE stop singing in episodes?

Content Warnings: Natural Disasters, Widespread loss of life, Bridge collapses, house fires, execution of prisoners, verified OH SHIT moments

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AW JEEZ THERE'S EVEN MORE ADDITIONAL MUSIC BY DANYA VODOVOZ

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Ruby Phoenix Ep. 27: Legends & Lowlifes Jan 03, 2023

RUBY PHOENIX FINALS! RADIANT WINDS VERSUS..?!

It all comes down to this. The perils of Danger Island, the mysteries of Goka, the adrenaline of the Tournament... today, the Radiant Winds make history or lose it all. Faced against their greatest rivals, our heroes must put everything on the line. If they win, they'll win mythic artifacts from the vault of the Ruby Phoenix and be the champions of the 30th Phoenix Tournament. If they lose... that honour goes to a cruel and unjust team undeserving of such an honour! Will the Radiant Winds prevail? Or will evil triumph over good?

READY?

FIGHT!!

DINE with myths and learn their secret pasts! BRAWL with the most powerful team of the tournament! FACE the impossible, together as friends!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Queerest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... did Derry seriously just do THAT?

CONTENT WARNINGS: Mass Destruction and Natural Disasters, Sexual Situations and Innuendo, Suicide Baiting Joke, References to Child Abuse, Cool As Fuck Lizards

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AW JEEZ THERE'S EVEN MORE ADDITIONAL MUSIC BY DANYA VODOVOZ

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Ruby Phoenix Ep. 26: Orochi & Occultists Dec 26, 2022

TURN BACK THE CLOCK! THE WINDS' TRAGIC TALE!

And then there were four! Half of the Ruby Phoenix Competitors have been knocked out, leaving only the semi-finalists. The Radiant Winds almost have their titles as champions within reach, and the future is bright... but the past is dark. The puzzle pieces finally come together to reveal the single most important part of the history of the Radiant Winds, one year ago on a drizzly day in Xa Hoi. Can we grapple with ourselves as we push forward? Who will win? Who will lose? And who will make it to the finals?!

READY?

FIGHT!

SPAR with your rival in preparation for the biggest fights of your life! TWIRL through a world of storybook pictures and weird magic! FIGHT for the future and past alike!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Queerest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... what the fuck is UP with these crits though?

CONTENT WARNINGS: Intense Angst, Whump, That Means Seriously The Angst Is Intense, Intense Hurt/Comfort, On-Screen Realistic Depictions of Panic Attacks and Sobbing, Body Trauma, Limb Trauma, Paranoia, Stalking, Temporary Character Death (Lolo), Unsafe Sashimi Running Practices

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AW JEEZ THERE'S EVEN MORE ADDITIONAL MUSIC BY DANYA VODOVOZ

Get the Longnight Before Krampus For Free (or Pay What You Want!)

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Holiday Special 2022: Krampies & Kerfuffles Dec 20, 2022

Winter is upon us, and a chilly new adventure awaits! Joined by guest players Jeff, Jessica, Jordan and Chris, Derry will take a party of adventurers from the frigid land of Irrisen through The Longnight Before Krampus, a special holiday adventure available for free now!

Every year, the holiday of Longnight bids adieu to the darkest part of year as families gather to watch candles burn out late into the night, and revelers partake in good food and wine. But when a group of travellers from different corners of the land of eternal winter find themselves taking shelter in a small tavern in the middle of a snowstorm, who knows what awaits them! Join Fizzledorp the Goblin Witch toymaker, Vitasya the Undine Sorcerer fortune teller, Dolly the Poppet Bard childcarer and Seymour the Orc Champion of the Hearth as they unravel a mystery involving strange toys, missing treasure and mischievious shadows that stalk the night!

Burnt bits get thrown. Windows get broken. Fate gets discussed.

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Merriest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... what's the currency exchange on paying it forward?

CONTENT WARNINGS: Child neglect and exploitation, on-screen animal maulings, survivor guilt, childhood trauma, stupid amounts of crits

Music by Seventh Midnight

[Christmas Jingle] → Christmas Theme 1 by Alexander Nakarada

Music provided by Free Vibes:https://goo.gl/NkGhTg

Special Guests:

Jess Redekop: https://tectonomancer.carrd.co/

Jeff of the Emergency Power Podcast: https://dice.camp/@epn_jeff

Jordan Cuddlefish: https://linktr.ee/jordanfish

Chris of Skald's Tale: https://skaldstale.com/

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Ruby Phoenix Ep. 25: Vampires & Victories Dec 12, 2022

HUH? WAIT, WHAT? HUUUUUH?

The Radiant Winds have made more than their fair share of enemies over their lifetimes. Musical tieflings, jerkass rivals, murderous assassins... but nobody expected anything to turn out like this, right? Our heroes are faced with an exceptionally lethal challenge as they are ambushed in the night... and at the same time, must juggle the once-in-a-decade tournament they are the prime contenders for! Will the Radiant Winds come out unscathed? Or is their life force on the line in both the streets and stadium?

READY?

FIGHT!

DUEL against unnatural foes with powers they don't understand! STRUGGLE with the forces of nature in the final Exhibition Match! BEHOLD the final Loser's Brackets matches as two teams rise from the ashes for one more attempt at the crown!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, where we ask the Hard Questions like... what's the fastest way to grow an audience after you die?

CONTENT WARNINGS: Mentions of suicide, hunting as a sport, animal dismemberment, arguments between romantic interests, dad advice for dating

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AW JEEZ THERE'S EVEN MORE ADDITIONAL MUSIC BY DANYA VODOVOZ

ONE FINAL ADDITIONAL-IST MUSIC BY @Alexis_Pflaum

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Ruby Phoenix Ep. 24: Towers & Triumph Dec 05, 2022

VERTICAL BATTLE! SMASH YOUR BROTHERS, SUPER STYLE!

The halfway mark of the Ruby Phoenix Tournament has passed, and things are getting serious! Two champions reign: the Radiant Winds and the Lightkeepers. The six teams who have lost so far now pit against one another in the loser's bracket, scrambling to prove themselves mighty and take another chance to win the tournament. From Vudrani Elemental Monks to Arcadian Spirit Mantises, the competition is tough... but the fighters must be tougher! All the while, the extraordinary exhibition matches continue... and a shadow stalks the Radiant Winds from the rooftops. Who is it that's chasing them... and do they stand a chance against these uncanny foes?!

READY?

FIGHT!

BRAWL with other teams in an incredible terrain like no other! SEEK advice from a wise warrior with a scarred past! CONFRONT the stalkers on the roofs in a dramatic reveal!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Queerest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... what's with all these 39s?!

CONTENT WARNINGS: Angst, discussions of limb loss as a traumatic event and coping with them, discussions of body trauma, Derry sings for real in this episode and it is not good

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AW JEEZ THERE'S EVEN MORE ADDITIONAL MUSIC BY DANYA VODOVOZ

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Ruby Phoenix Ep. 23: Sunshine & Strife Nov 28, 2022

CLASH OF THE RIVALS!! A Streak Broken?!

It had to come to this. The Radiant Winds stand across from Steps of the Sun, their battledancing rivals. They've overcome terrible beasts, mighty foes and unyielding challenges before... but to defeat someone you think deserves victory more than you? That's a difficult task indeed! As our heroes prepare to pass the midway point of the Ruby Phoenix Tournament and end Day 3, they'll need to take on this team of aasimar and come out on top, or else they're relegated to the loser's bracket! It's all or nothing: hearts beat fast, swords glint and magic sways the crowd. Will the Radiant Winds succeed? Or will the emmissaries of the sun itself be triumphant?

READY?

FIGHT!

OVERCOME opponents with everything to prove in a nailbiting encounter like no other! PARTY with winners and losers alike as the tournament gets real! PACE through the streets in an attempt to lure out a mysterious secret!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Queerest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... are dwarves the only ancestry with the alcohol tolerence of a bear?

CONTENT WARNINGS: Angst, stalking, heavy alcohol consumption and inebriation, mild references to disfunctional families, some extremely homoerotic shit

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AW JEEZ THERE'S EVEN MORE ADDITIONAL MUSIC BY DANYA VODOVOZ

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Ruby Phoenix Ep. 22: Drakes & Derbies Nov 21, 2022

INTO THE SKIES! THE GREAT DRAKE RACE OF GOKA!

Fly away! The Radiant Winds have a lot on their minds as they prepare to take to the skies of Goka in their most daring challenge yet: the Great Drake Race, which will see the finalists of the Ruby Phoenix Tournament chase each other through the skies in a bid to win fabulous treasures! And yet one of our fighters in particular has a lot on their mind. What does the Radiant Winds' brawling monk fight for? Delve into their past and fight for the future at the same time in a breath-taking extravaganza that'll make you cry, laugh and maybe do a sweet flip. Now hold onto the reigns-- these things go FAST!

READY?

FIGHT!

PARTY in the streets of Goka during the world's biggest festival! SLAY the jiang-shi to protect your honour! SOAR through the skies on a chariot with the whole city watching you!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Queerest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... what's the swim speed of a very frightened old man?

CONTENT WARNINGS: Dysfunctional families and prolonged on-screen familial arguments and shouting, genuine traumadumping, seriously be ready for some intense familial problems that might hit a little close to home, they leave Lolo to fucking die

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AW JEEZ THERE'S EVEN MORE ADDITIONAL MUSIC BY DANYA VODOVOZ

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Ruby Phoenix Ep. 21: Beasts & Battles Nov 14, 2022

BEASTS UNLEASHED! BEGIN THE EXHIBITION MATCHES!

The Radiant Winds are off to a great start, securing a victory in the first round! Though we know that they'll be headed to the next round of official matches, the fighting doesn't stop here! Now, our heroes face off against the other teams in the tournament in exhibition matches! These fights are loud! Bold! Unique! They'll give our heroes AND their opponents challenges they may have never faced before while they face off against each other. Will Sangku, Chuji, and Masami really be able to pull this off and win their first exhibition match's prize?! Oh geez! Get into your fighting stance!

READY?

FIGHT!

SPEAK from the heart, and let others know your true feelings! TRANSFORM into a mighty animal to put on a show like no other! WATCH the Ruby Phoenix Tournament unfold as all manners of teams clash together!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Queerest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... should Derry ever really doubt Ritz's power?

CONTENT WARNINGS: Dysfunctional families and on-screen familial arguments and shouting, references to terminal illness, angst over the loss of a limb, nudity and suggestive content, Hiroshi Takahara Is Going To Fuck Your Mom

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AW JEEZ THERE'S EVEN MORE ADDITIONAL MUSIC BY DANYA VODOVOZ

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Ruby Phoenix Ep. 20: Stadiums & Suplexes Nov 08, 2022

LET THE TOURNAMENT BEGIN! ROUND ONE: FIGHT!

Look how far we've come! From brave adventurers to world-class celebrities, the Radiant Winds now prepare for the first day of the Ruby Phoenix Tournament! With brand new costumes, vast riches and more training than anyone could fit into a lifetime, they're ready for the hardest fights they've ever been through. Seven days, four rounds and fights both traditional and groundbreaking... this promises to be the greatest challenge in the history of Golarion? Are YOU ready? Then get warmed up... Round 1 is upon us, and we're gonna have to fight some of our new friends if we wanna get through!

READY?

FIGHT!

TRAIN with a master of strength to make yourself the greatest version of yourself possible! BRAWL with enemy teams to come out on top of the tournament! WITNESS other teams pitting against one another for the chance to fight against you next!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Queerest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... do YOU have what it takes?!

CONTENT WARNINGS: BIG TITTY ONI TIEFLING GF

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AW JEEZ THERE'S EVEN MORE ADDITIONAL MUSIC BY DANYA VODOVOZ

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Halloween Special 2022: Horrors & Hamlets Oct 31, 2022

They're coming to get you...

In the mist-clad lands of Ustalav, where vampires stalk the night and ghosts moan in the dark... three heroes make their way from town to town, only to stop when they discover a ripped note and a plea for help. Something terrible has happened in the town of Fiorna's Faith... and they may be the only ones who can find out the truth of what happened here. Guts, gore and gruesomeness await Angelo, Voltaire and Arseris as they investigate the MARCH OF THE DEAD and overcome the horrors that overcame this small village! As a warning... this episode is very, VERY fleshy! Listeners beware... you're in for a scare!

Umbrellas get shared.

Barricades get made.

Caves get crawled in.

All this and more in this VERY spooky episode of Dice Will Roll, the SCARIEST Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... is it okay to flirt with someone after they find out their family is dead?!

CONTENT WARNINGS: Suicide, themes of existientialism and nihilism, intense claustrophobia, animal harm and death, intense body horror and gore, questionably requited flirting and romantic advances, a really cool bird <3

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kevin macleod: alchemist's tower, moonlight hall, zombie hoodoo

feslyian studios: fear, horror chase chapter 1, horror chase chapter 2, anxiety

michael gelfi: zombies attacking door

The Necromancer by The Seventh Midnight (theseventhmidnight.com)

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Ruby Phoenix Ep. 19: Grand Slams & Gaidens Oct 26, 2022

SECRETS OF THE PAST! The Oni's Mask Revealed!

After surviving an encounter with lethal, extraplanar assassins, the Radiant Winds stand at the edge of a true mystery. Something is happening behind the scenes of the Ruby Phoenix Tournament, and Masami Takahara knows more than they are letting on. The kitsune magus sits down and tells the party of their past, discuss the intrigue of the present and prepare for the inevitable future: the sponsor's auction is upon them! Can our heroes juggle the tragedy of Masami's past and the pressure of the tournament together as one? Only one way to find out!

READY?

FIGHT!

LEAP across rooftops in a distant memory of Goka, 10 years ago! PROVE your might in front of a crowd with mighty opponents ready to take you down! CHOOSE the wealthy patron who will sponsor you and the magnificent treasures they offer to you!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Queerest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... can you marry a giant terrifying bird if she's really pretty?

CONTENT WARNINGS: ANGST ANGST ANGST ANGST ANGST, implied familial abuse and neglect, child endangerment, heavy themes of trauma, forced feminization as a joke, picking between friends, Lolo is a man of excellent taste

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Ruby Phoenix Ep. 18: Shadows & Secrets Oct 17, 2022

THE TRUTH COMES OUT! What lies hidden in the past?!

The week of searching sponsorship is slowly coming to an end, but rather than relief, our heroes can feel the tension ramping up. Unspoken truths, unseen foes and unspeakable mysteries have enveloped the Radiant Winds, and it's coming to a boiling point. How long will they be able to last under this intense pressure? Who knows? Who cares? We've got a LESHY ASS TO KICK. THAT'S RIGHT. SATSUMEIMO THE GENEROUS, WE'RE COMING FOR YOU. WE'RE GONNA MAKE YOUR YAM LOOKING FACE FROOOOWN! YEAAAAH, THAT'S WHAT THIS EPISODE IS ABOUT! REVENGE AGAINST SATSUMEIMO! Come on, what else would it be about? Surely nothing... *bad* is going to happen, right..?

READY?

FIGHT!

MEET with an old friend who bears an illustrious invitation! INTERVENE in the boiling squabble between two foes, with you caught in the crossfire! FACE your fears as your history comes to pull you back under!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Queerest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... how much gold does it cost to buy, like, a shittonne of ribbons?

CONTENT WARNINGS: In-party deceit, implied emotional trauma, second-hand embarrassment and cringeworthy encounters, spousal arguments, minor themes of virtue signalling by corporations, hurting Satusmeimo's feelings

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Ruby Phoenix Ep. 17: Operas & Ozone Oct 10, 2022

MUSIC IN THE WINDS! ADVENTURE IN THE OPERA!

The week of searching for sponsors continues, and our heroes have some free time to kill before making their way down to the magnificent opera performance put on by the illustrious Master Razu. But there's no time to relax! All we have are questions, questions and more questions. Why is it that the witch prince won't tell his family the truth? Why does the brawling monk fight? What, exactly, is the kitsune trickster hiding from their closest friends? Perhaps answers will finally reveal themselves. Or perhaps, they'll just end ignoring their problems and going to the opera for a nice dinner with some rich people

READY?

FIGHT!

EXPLORE the City of Wonders in your own, mysterious ways! HEAR the tale of the most powerful dragon in Tian Xia! LEAP into action as the masses panic and flee!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Queerest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... is there a feat for eating a chicken kebab as fast as possible?

CONTENT WARNINGS: Themes of strained families and overbearing parents, themes of poverty, discussions of bullying and xenophobia, in-party deceit, gross scroll eating noises

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Ruby Phoenix Ep. 16: Museums & Mobsters Sep 26, 2022

ENTER THE UNDERWORLD! What lies beneath Goka?!

What's a sprawling metropolis without an equally sprawling undercity? The Undermarkets of Goka, a maze of tunnels and sewers that have been repurposed to make a literal black market awaits our heroes as they seek out the counsel of an old friend. But sometimes, what lies in the shadows is less scary than what's there out in the open. What secrets are our heroes hiding from each other? What details of their past have we yet to learn? And will they be tempted by the lures and promises of a criminal life? I mean, absolutely not, have you met these guys? But imagine. Anyway, time for Masami to fight their dad.

READY? FIGHT!

EXPLORE the secret headquarters of the Golden League Crime Syndicate! OBSERVE the many artifacts of the Ruby Phoenix! TELL your tale to the order of chroniclers so it'll live on forever!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Queerest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... is it weird to be a kaiju apologist?

CONTENT WARNINGS: Dysfunctional families, miscommunication, lying to party members, suicide baiting, vague references to terminal illness, limb trauma angst, heavy bittersweet themes, references to sex, references to drugs, references to cigarettes, father vs child physical combat, sexy criminal MILF

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Ruby Phoenix Ep. 15: Vikings & Vendors Sep 19, 2022

TWELVE VS. TWO! Battle In The Aerie!

People from all around the world come to Goka for the Ruby Phoenix Tournament. As such, that means cultures can sometimes clash in strange and unusual ways. Sometimes, this is minor things, like the gentlemen from the Mwangi Expanse not knowing how to use chopsticks. Other times... the dragon-slaying vikings from the Land of the Linorm Kings get into arguments with the local race drakes that turn into bloody messes, with our heroes stuck in the middle! Alas, this episode does not involve teaching the fighters of Speakers To The Wind about how to eat Fantasy Asian cuisine. It's about fighting a shittonne of drakes before they fucking eat someone. But still, countless adventures await in the City of Wonders! Explore the markets, visit old friends and discuss old foes in the heart of Tian Xia... after you've kicked draconic butt, of course.

READY? FIGHT!

INVESTIGATE the mysterious poster in the streets of the city! PERUSE exotic wares in a strange bazaar! TRAVEL to meet a powerful friend beneath the city!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Queerest Pathfinder Podcast On The Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... what spells can change your clothes in the middle of the street without causing an international incident?

CONTENT WARNINGS: Culture shock and clashes, disfunctional families and family drama, ageism, interparty arguments, transformation sequences

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Ruby Phoenix Ep. 14: Aristocrats & Adventure Sep 12, 2022

Welcome To Goka! The Search For Sponsorship BEGINS!

To the very west of Tian Xia lies the City of Wonders itself: Goka. A city-state ruled by an empress with architecture blending the cultures of countless other cultures, nowhere else in the world is quite like it. From the sprawling Never-Ending Market to the Empress Yi Opera House and beyond... this metropolis will be the Radiant Wind's home over the next few weeks as they prepare for the Ruby Phoenix Finals to begin! But what old faces will they meet in their home city? What new ones will offer to sponsor them as they fight for the future? And will the teams from all around the world make themselves at home in this strange new city... or is chaos just around the corner? Crack your knuckles and get ready to explore the mean streets of Goka!

READY? FIGHT!

ARRIVE in the gateway to Tian Xia in the middle of the Wall of Heaven mountains! SPEAK with the rich and powerful about dragons and whatever! GRIMACE at the trouble unfolding before you in an unfortunate, scaly situation!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Queerest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... how do you piss off a race drake?

CONTENT WARNINGS: Angst, Expectations and Family Pressure, Discussions of Limb Trauma, Dysfunctional Families, Cultural Insensitivity, Abhorrent Numbers of MILFs and DILFs

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Ruby Phoenix Ep. 13: Dynasts & Dragons Sep 05, 2022

ONE LAST RUSH! Danger Island's Finale!

The sun sets on the third day of the Danger Island challenge, and the Radiant Winds finally rest. They will go down in history as some of the greatest fighters to ever exist. Now's a good time to take it easy, and let off some steam... oh, except they need to attend a fancy dinner with the Empress of Goka, impress the Ruby Phoenix in daring challenge matches to entertain the victors and overcome some of the most dangerous foes to walk the lands of Tian Xia! From colossal oni champions to dangerous underworld despots, the final hours of Bonmu will be marked by our heroes bravery... should they stand up to the challenges ahead of them!

READY? FIGHT!

DINE on the exquisite culinary experience available only to the greatest of the great! WATCH the thrilling combat that unfolds before you in the marvelous extraplanar arena! COMPETE with dangerous foes like no other to prove yourself the greatest!

All this and more in the finale of Fists of the Ruby Phoenix Book 1: Despair on Danger Island, where we ask the Hard Questions like... do tailors make little outfits for familiars?

CONTENT WARNINGS: Themes of self-loathing and imposter syndrome, discussions of poverty and ultrawealth, bullying, Lolo talks about having sex and charming ladies, references to familial abuse and resulting patricide

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Ruby Phoenix Ep. 12: Peaks & Palaces Aug 29, 2022

CLIMB THE MOUNTAIN! THE PRE-QUALIFYING CHAMPIONS!

It's time! After 3 days of non-stop brawling, exploring and challenges, the Radiant Winds finally find themselves atop Mt. Haminabu, ready to enter the Ruby Palace and begin their journey to Goka. Lady Hao Jin, the Ruby Phoenix awaits them... as do 7 other teams. Who has made it through to the finals? Who has failed to do so? And what adventures await our heroes once they step towards the palace to hand in their Silver Feathers? And who will be their next opponents once the trials of Danger Island ends?

READY? FIGHT!

ENCOUNTER the legendary sorceress with the power to unravel worlds! GASP at the terrible twists that unfold before you! PREPARE for the next leg of your adventure as you become true champions!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Queerest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... is there such thing as a BNGG, A Big Nice Good Guy?

CONTENT WARNINGS: Character death, classism, imposter syndrome, sexual encounters, childish jokes about sexual encounters, bullying

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Ruby Phoenix Ep. 11: Fireworks & Free-For-Alls Aug 21, 2022

BATTLE TO THE END! Team Vs Team Vs Team Vs Team?!

The final day on Danger Island... is HERE. At noon sharp, fighters will be able to climb Mount Haminabu, present their Silver Feathers to the Ruby Phoenix herself, and gain entry into the tournament itself in Goka. By now, barely any teams are left standing... so only the STRONGEST remain. Can the Radiant Winds overcome the odds and keep their feathers from the other teams hunger for victory? Or will they end up K.O, like so many more before them?!

Hold onto your necklaces, cuz it's time to put it all to the test!

READY? FIGHT!

HUNT for food for the tricksy spirit guide's favour. TRAVERSE the wilds on the run to the mountain! BRAWL with the unusual combatants atop a scenic view!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Queerest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... is it morally wrong to eat animals you can speak to?

CONTENT WARNINGS: Implied animal death, Jokes About Pro-Choice Arguments, Themes of Abandonment and Goodbyes, Imposter Syndrome and Anxiety, The Radiant Winds Are So Mean To Some Patreon Characters

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Ruby Phoenix Ep. 10: Paladins & Portals Aug 15, 2022

STRIFE! Soldiers From Around The World... AND BEYOND!

Sunset falls on the Radiant Winds' second day on Danger Island... meaning the final day is upon them! Our heroes are on the cusp of being accepted into the Ruby Phoenix tournament itself, and only a few victories away from endless fame and fortune (and powerful artifacts beyond mortal reckoning!). But it seems that some strange mystery is unfolding itself here on Bonmu... one that is not keen to see the Radiant Winds win! Is all as it seems? Who's out to get us? WHY DID YOU HAVE TO INTERRUPT OUR BEAUTY SLEEP! MAAAAAN! Grab a sword, cuz there's only one way to solve this kinda nonsense!

READY? FIGHT!

DUEL against the knights of a fallen land on the beach! UNCOVER the past of the island! PEER into a strange hole... in the fabric of reality!?

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Queerest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... are ALL scary towers full of phantoms?

CONTENT WARNINGS: Descriptions of wartime PTSD, impalement, ageism, descriptions of artery injuries, implied betrayals of trust, Sangku cannot catch a break

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Ruby Phoenix Ep. 9: Omens & Onryo Aug 08, 2022

THE REVENGE GHOST'S RANCOROUS RUMBLE!

There's something about ghosts in Tian Xia that just hits different. Maybe it's the way they crack their limbs at weird angles, or have those dead, fish-like eyes, or the weird recurring trope with hair? Blech! One thing's for sure, you don't wanna tangle with an Onryo... which is precisely what the Radiant Winds are doing. Battling it out in a scary tower, the ghost girl is frankly the least of their problems as 32 teams hunt them down to challenge them for their feathers. Will the Radiant Winds overcome the odds and keep their 10 feathers-- or will they be claimed by enemies, living or dead?

READY? FIGHT!

KICKBOX the freaky phantom in the Scary Tower as she goes for your throat! FOLLOW the spirit guide through the jungle in search of secrets! INVESTIGATE the mysterious temple and its weird, magic secret!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Queerest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... what's the statistical probability of rolling a 69 when you roll 4d20?

CONTENT WARNINGS: Body Horror Heavily Featuring Hair, Emetophobia, Horror, Depictions of Natural Disasters, Hikari's Secret Stash Of Adult Material, Loud Screaming & Cheering, Immature Jokes, References to Nuclear War, Animal Death (Kinda)

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Ruby Phoenix Ep. 8: Champs & Challenges Aug 01, 2022

The Radiant Winds' Super Spectacular Challenge Run Begins!!

DRAW! Our heroes find themselves duelling it out with gunslingers from a far off continent as they're hunted down for their feathers! But martial might isn't the only thing that matters. Tests of skill await them in the deadly-ish trials ahead of them. Speed, creativity, precision — all will be pushed to their limits as our heroes are pitted in contests unlike any they've faced yet! Swords and sorcery don't matter if you don't have the skill to put 'em to use!

Ready? FIGHT!

DUEL with the devil-powered sharpshooters under the afternoon sun! EXAMINE a bizarre egg deep within a cave! TREMBLE before...The Scary Tower.

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Queerest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... Is it okay to pet a devil horse if it's friendly?

CONTENT WARNINGS: Diabolism, megalophobia, descriptions of natural disasters, animal harm, The Scary Tower.

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Ruby Phoenix Ep. 7: Islands & Idols Jul 25, 2022

BLESSINGS OF THE GODS! Hunters become the Hunted!

Sun sets on the first day of the Radiant Wind's trials in Bonmu, and the future is looking bright. They've had a solid winning streak, they've overcome the odds, and they've secured a whole load of Silver Feathers. But it's only going to get harder from here on out! STRONGER TEAMS! STRANGE PATHS! GOING IN THE WATER WHEN YOU'RE MAYBE AFRAID OF WATER?? And yet beneath it all, intrigue and angst bubbles. What are the smiling faces of the Radiant Winds not telling their competitors... or each other? Put all that aside-- we're not here to open up, we're here to WIN!

READY? FIGHT!

EXPLORE the chains of islands around Bonmu! UNCOVER the legacy of the long forgotten gods of the Taumatans! BATTLE with extraordinary teams with extraordinary gimmicks!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Queerest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... what ISN'T banned in this goddamn tournament?

CONTENT WARNINGS: Detailed Discussions of Vore and Cannibalism, Unreciprocated Flirting, PTSD attacks, Comments on Prosthetic Limbs, Untold Levels of Cringe, PvP Deceit, Organized Crime

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One more for the road more Additional Music by ZitronSound

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Ruby Phoenix Ep. 6: Melees & Monster Jul 18, 2022

The Rival Theme Reveals Themselves! Enter the Lightkeepers..?!

POW! PUNCH! WHAM! Our heroes are well on their way to collecting 10 Silver Feathers! Danger Island is no easy challenge, but the Radiant Winds have found themselves taking on every foe they can find on this jungle island. From terrifying mummies to dangerous wildlife, the party is overcoming the odds... but what happens when they meet a team unlike any other? Hold onto your butts, it's gonna be a bumpy ride!

READY? FIGHT!

SKIRMISH with the gothic horror masters of the land of Ustalav! CHASE a big bird through the jungle! ENCOUNTER old friends in less than ideal circumstances!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Queerest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... how many times can Derry get away with using the same thunder sound effect?

CONTENT WARNINGS: Major Themes of Bullying, references to cannibalism, disrespect towards human remains, images of Sangku with a moustache, themes of defeat and sadness

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Ruby Phoenix Ep. 5: Ruins & Raiders Jul 11, 2022

EXPLORE THE ISLAND! Radiant Winds Awakening!

The Island of Bonmu awaits! The Radiant Winds are already halfway to 10 feathers, and now must explore the perils of Danger Island themselves. Mountains, shrines and lakes dot the jungle island... As well as countless teams! Will the Radiant Winds keep up their winning streak? Or will their luck run out amidst the countless dangers that await them? Let's find out!

READY? FIGHT!!

SPEAK with the former yakuza boss and his band of enforcers! TRACK the mysterious horsemen across the island! UNCOVER the lost, forgotten gods of a bygone era!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Queerest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... what spell do you use to create ominous cracks of thunder at will?

CONTENT WARNINGS: References to organized crime, minor team infighting, goths, themes of being forgotten

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Ruby Phoenix Ep. 4: Androids & Arenas Jul 04, 2022

Let the battle begin!! Radiant Winds vs Touch the Stars!

The morning sun rises, and the first day of the trials of Danger Island begins! The Radiant Winds have 3 of the necessary 10 silver feathers to move onto the next stage of the Ruby Phoenix Tournament... but the hundreds of other combatants on the island are just as willing to fight as our heroes! Will they be able to best their first enemy team in the Ruby Phoenix pre-qualifiers? Will their travels of Danger Island bring them closer to their goals? Will a mysterious figure from the party's past shed light on their dynamic? Guess we can find out the only way we know how!

READY? FIGHT!

BLAST lasers with the strange team from another world! VISIT the strange Stone Markets and their unusual wares! BEGIN your journey through the terrors of Danger Island!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Queerest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... WHAT DO YOU MEAN AMERICANS DON'T HAVE BONBONS, WHAT THE FUCK!!

CONTENT WARNINGS: Unusual Voice Effects, Slime, Fantasy Firearms, Don't Fuck With Sangku, Blood

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Ruby Phoenix Ep. 3: Statues & Shrines Jun 27, 2022

CLEANSE THE TEMPLE! The Broken Rebus' Terrifying Past!

G-G-G-GHOST! The Radiant Winds have battled foul monsters and spooky spectres in their effort to claim their first Silver Feathers. But after fighting through the hazards and horrors within, they find they have a new job— cleansing duty! Can our fighting friends help guide these spirits into the afterlife? Or will they refuse to go into the light! Clench your fists, everyone... cuz it's time to punch a ghost!

READY? FIGHT!

LEARN the tragic tale of the ancient monastic order! PRAY the haunts away to make the temple a safe haven! UNCOVER incredible treasure in an ancient shrine!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Queerest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... Is it shallow to worship a god based on their sexiness alone?

CONTENT WARNINGS: References to death, religion, taunting and goading, ghosts, Chuji takes the fucking bait

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Ruby Phoenix Ep. 2: Temples & Terror Jun 20, 2022

ENTER THE TEMPLE! Heroes Vs Ghosts!

In their quest to become the champions of the Ruby Phoenix Tournament, our heroes must overcome their first task... clearing out an ancient temple to the God of Perfection to call their home base during the trials ahead. Inside await three silver feathers... and countless dangers! What happened here at the Temple to Irori? Can our intrepid adventuring friends take on the phantasmal figures within? Maybe they can... if they can overcome the giant enemy spider waiting for them at the gate!

READY? FIGHT!

DUEL with the monstrous arachnid in its web of prey! PRAY before the courtyard of curses! UNRAVEL the mystery of the Broken Rebus!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, where we ask the Hard Questions like... can you trust someone to do your DIY if they're like, 2 feet tall?

CONTENT WARNINGS: Severe Arachnophobia, Constant References to Death, Grandpa Lolo Fuckin That Sandwich Up, Poison, References to Paralysis

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Ruby Phoenix Ep. 1: Bamboo & Brawls Jun 13, 2022

THE STORY BEGINS! Radiant Winds UNLEASHED!

For the past few hundred years, fighters from around the planet of Golarion have gathered in the land of Kami and Dragons to prove their might. Once every decade, these powerful adventurers fight in the legendary Ruby Phoenix Tournament in order to win legendary artifacts from the vault of a mythic sorcerer. And this year... we follow the tale of the Radiant Winds as they make their attempt to go down in history as Ruby Champions! But to get there, they first must overcome the trials of Danger Island, an isle of monsters and mayhem abandoned to the ravages of time. Will the Radiant Winds be successful? Or will they be K.O. before they even know it? Only one way to find out!

READY? FIGHT!

ARRIVE on the isle of jungles and monsters! BATTLE with rival teams! BEGIN your journey to being a Ruby Champion!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, where we ask the Hard Questions like... what do you do when your familiar is a little TOO cranky?

CONTENT WARNINGS: Seasickness, Brief Allusions to Puking, Big Titty Oni, Arachnophobia, Brief Allusions to Drowning

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Revolution Void- Time Flux

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Dice Will Roll: Ruby Phoenix Trailer Jun 06, 2022

FISTS! FERVOR! FURY!

Join Sangku, Masami & Chuji in a fighting tournament unlike any other in Dice Will Roll Campaign 3: FISTS OF THE RUBY PHOENIX! Episode 1 drops June 13th 2022. Ready? Then FIGHT!

Music by You Fulca.

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Extinction Curse Retrospective Mar 28, 2022

The curtains draw closed, and the crowds disperse. The show is over. But what's next on the horizon? The cast speak of the good times Extinction Curse brought them, what could have been, and what's on the horizon. Theme Song by Sim @TheSimulacraeOther Music by You FulcaCONTENT WARNINGS: Brief mention of scat jokes (don't worry, we're grossed out too!) Kingmaker Finale Minor Spoilers--- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/dice-will-roll/support Get extra loot on our Patreon!

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Extinction Curse Ep. 80: Farewells & Finales Mar 21, 2022

The curtain's calling, my friends! It's time for our grand finale! Our brave Wandering Three have battled demons, mingled with drow, uncovered the truth about ancient societies and dead gods... and now, their final reward awaits them. The city at the center of the world, the crown jewel of the Inner Sea... Absalom. In the midst of the once-in-a-lifetime Radiant Festival, our heroes will secure immortality through fame as they make history among the performances here. Kings, queens, scholars... all will see them perform, and their happily ever after will be sealed. Now take a seat... our final show is about to begin!

SMILE as old friends return, all here to see the greatest show on all of Golarion! GASP at the blossoming love in the arms of the Circus! DAZZLE the crowds of the Radiant Festival as the Circus of Wayward Wonders leaves something beautiful to be remembered by!

All this and more in this, the FINALE OF DICE WILL ROLL: EXTINCTION CURSE, where we ask the Hard Questions like... did you enjoy the show, my friends?

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CONTENT WARNINGS: Goodbyes, Themes of Familial Abuse, Themes of Death, Romantic Interactions, So long and thanks for all the fish!

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Extinction Curse Ep. 79: Warlords & Wanderers Mar 14, 2022

Are you ready to take a bow? From a murder mystery under the big top, to a treasure hunt across the isle of Kortos. From the sweetest laughter to the brink of despair. Dinosaurs, demons, deeplanders... these last six months of adventuring sure have been fun, right? But now here we are, at the door of the Extinction Curse. The Apocalypse Prophet waits on the other side, and so too does the end of our story. Will Royari, Volio and Eriato save the Isle of Kortos? Will they get to live out their lives as they so choose it? Only one way to find out. Let's open the door.

GAZE upon the Isle of Kortos from far, far above. WAR with Deepmouth Ever-Hunger as he attempts to vanquish it all. RISK your lives to let everyone have a chance at a happily ever after. All this and more in this, the penultimate episode of Extinction Curse, where we ask the Hard Questions like... do you accept your death?

Final Boss Theme by Ela Morana!

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Theme Song by Sim @TheSimulacrae

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CONTENT WARNINGS: Decapitation, Impalement, Major Character Death, Spinal Trauma, Muscular Trauma, Themes of Genocide, Themes of Finality and Closure, Funky Ass Fucking Music Apparently It's Called Soulswave It's Incredible

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Extinction Curse Ep. 78: Night Hags & Nevermores Feb 28, 2022

Come take a seat, darling. We have much to talk about. I'm sure you have many questions for me. I know you must be shocked and confused, but I do really want to speak with you. Yes— you've come a long way. This is the last stop on your journey, isn't it? To climb this tower? And to find your dear mother working with those dreadful troglodytes... Why, you must be feeling so many things! But certainly, we can discuss those feelings. Just sit down and speak to me. I want you to understand why your life has turned out this way.

TREMBLE before the wicked witch and her powerful hag magic! MEET with the psychic scholars and mediate their plight! BATHE in the cleansing waters that lead to the final showdown!

All this and more in this, the penpenultimate episode of Dice Will Roll: Extinction Curse, where we ask the Hard Questions like... what's the CR of a whole army of demons?

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CONTENT WARNINGS: In-depth discussions of parental neglect and abuse, ageism, misogyny, ableism, themes of generational injustice, themes of bittersweet finality, Eriato Ice Cold Moments Throughout, themes of genocide--- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/appSupport this podcast: https://anchor.fm/dice-will-roll/support Get extra loot on our Patreon!

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Extinction Curse Ep. 77: Aeons & Artifacts Feb 21, 2022

At long last, everyone: the Final Dungeon of my campaign. The Wandering Three find themselves at the Verdant Beacon, throne of the dead god Aroden and epicenter of the Extinction Curse. But they are not the first to uncover it. The Crusader King of the Xulgath and the Coven of Hollow Eyes already have dug their claws into the tower with the intent of making a glorious sacrifice of souls to Zevgavizeb... and any willing to pay for the lost souls of the apocalypse. Can the circusfolk stop this dastardly plan? It's the last act; only now can we find out. DUEL with daring demons by the curtain of swords! PERUSE the museum of ancient relics! SIT with a crime boss from another plane! All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... Can a tiny little ball robot pick up a massive weapon?

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CONTENT WARNINGS: Bittersweet themes of finality, references to familial abuse, Oddbody the Amazing Oddbody your best friend Oddbody--- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/appSupport this podcast: https://anchor.fm/dice-will-roll/support Get extra loot on our Patreon!

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Extinction Curse Ep. 76: Trials & Titans Feb 14, 2022

HUUUUUGE! The Wandering Three are face to face with an ENORMOUS foe, towering taller than the mountains! And as if that weren't bad enough... the party's been split! The final trials of Aroden lie before our heroes, and they must go toe to toe with enemies that dwarf the humble beginnings that the adventurers once battled. What is a T-Rex to a god-killing giant with a glaive that's 200 feet long?! Will they be able to slay Goliath? Or will they be the dinner of Gargantua?

GAWK at the spacial warping of the titanic foe! HERD flocks of sheep back to their master! UNCOVER fracturing alliances among the savage foes they come up against!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... how much bulk is a mile-long axe?

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CONTENT WARNINGS: Megalaphobia, vertigo, references to familial abuse, Volio picks his favourite son, light fantasy xenophobia kind of

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Extinction Curse Ep. 75: Lakes & Leviathans Feb 07, 2022

Not all quests are made equal. Some are like "oooh, get all the sheep!", others are like "smite the demons!", but some... some are a gamemaster's one true fear. The party is absolutely going to die this episode. The Wandering Three continue their adventure in the Vale of Aroden, collecting titles and growing in power as they prepare for their final showdown with Sarvel Ever-Hunger! That is... If they can overcome the most dangerous task they've ever had to face. One that haunts the GM to this day.

HERD sheep throughout the idyllic pastures! HUNT the mighty mythical stag in the woods! ENTER the chamber of treasures and plunder the crystal monkey skull!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... what CAN'T Clown Lore accomplish?

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CONTENT WARNINGS: Discussions of familial abuse, cult mentality, claustrophobia, deep existential dread over a minigame, megalophobia

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Extinction Curse Ep. 74: Merchants & Myths Jan 31, 2022

Welcome to Gurty Goldpocket's Goldpocket's Emporium! Where adventure goes, we follow, you know! What can I get you? Thrilling adventures in the vale of Aroden? Unwelcome reunions with familiar enemies? Ascensions to heavenly states at the hands of a mighty relic? No? You want answers about your beloved shopkeep? Well... It's a looooong story, so I guess we ought to start at the start.

UNCOVER the long sought-after secret of the travelling shopkeeper! PAINT the mural of your travels! FACE terrible demonic foes from another world!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... what's the highest octave listeners will scream at this episode?

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CONTENT WARNINGS: Bleak depictions of murder and death, lung trauma and suffocation, implied xenophobia, suicide, Gurty Goldpocket's Goldpocket's Emporium Where Adventure Goes We Follow (Est. 4719 AR)

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Extinction Curse Ep. 73: Shepherds & Shrubbery Jan 17, 2022

Get back here, sheep!! The Wandering Three find themselves in a pastoral paradise, completing tasks set by Aroden and gaining more and more of his blessings. By adopting his twelve guises, they too can take on effigies of the Dead God and learn more about themselves as they work. Through reading scrolls, herding livestock and tilling the land, they grow closer to entering his tower and putting an end to the Xulgath threat once and for all. But what else lies in the valley? Monsters? Mayhem? Strangely familiar faces? One must walk in the footsteps of those who have come before if they wish to triumph, so come walk alongside us!! TRANSLATE the ancient Azlanti texts and uncover new lore! TEND to the forgotten land and make it fertile once more! STARE in horror at the secrets of the metal pyramid, revealed at last!! All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... is it normal to turn into a giant plant monster if nobody gives you attention for a while?CONTENT WARNINGS: Sex Jokes, Themes of Familial Trauma, Themes of Anxiety and Panic, References to Mental Health Crises, One Hell Of A Fucking Bombshell Reveal--- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/appSupport this podcast: https://anchor.fm/dice-will-roll/support Get extra loot on our Patreon!

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Extinction Curse Ep. 72: Pinnacles & Paradise Jan 10, 2022

Our heroes find themselves on top of a mountain, and a pastoral paradise can be found on the other side, lush with life and greenery one doesn't usually find in the mountains. The home of Aroden has been found, nearly untouched by anyone else, beautiful and pristine as it was the day that he left his home for the last time. Or is it...? The Wandering Three have found themselves challenged once again: Beat the 12 Trials of Aroden to enter his tower, and stop the Xulgath's evil plans, which grow closer everyday. It seems the apocalypse may well be on our doorstep, if our heroes cannot stop them... They'll have to use the power of friendship and sewing to save the day!

SPEAK with the mysterious Bone Augur and heed his warnings! MARVEL at the giant shepherd in the beautiful fields! SKIRMISH with the dreaded underground monster and its radioactive aura! All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... is it vain to make moving statues made of super-rare metals of yourself?

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CONTENT WARNINGS: References to abusive parents in backstory, themes of genocide, nudity (kinda?), mommy? Sorry. Mommy? Sorry. Mommy? Sorry.

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Extinction Curse Ep. 71: Legacies & Linnorms Dec 27, 2021

YOU WILL BE CONVERGED! Finding themselves trapped in a garrison full of mind-linked soldiers, the mysteries of the Kortos Mountains have only just begun to reveal themselves to the Wandering Three! From freak storms to haunting silhouettes to ancient tombs, our heroes truly have their work cut out for them. Can they keep their wits together and dodge danger after danger as they climb the mountains further? I sure hope so! It'd be a shitty campaign if they didn't!

SOLVE the puzzle box as it attempts to rewrite your brains! CHASE the mysterious criminal through the woods and uncover their terrible secret! UNCOVER the truth of your own legacy in the tomb of the ancient paladin!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, where we ask the Hard Questions like... What's the best snack to snap you out of a curse of famine?

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CONTENT WARNINGS: Cultural Appropriation of the Algonquin People, Mind Control, Cannibalism, Starvation, Somehow Aroden Is Once Again A Bigger Asshole Than Previously Imagined, Misunderstandings, Ghosts

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Holiday Special 2021: Creatures & Carolling Dec 20, 2021

Ho ho ho! Yuletide is upon us, friends, and the wayward Kastner Expedition journeys through the winters of Taldor! Emyndiel the Elven Cleric, Pleatly-Does-It-Neatly the Leshy Alchemist and Earl Seraphim Kastner VI happen upon the snowy town of Moost on their journeys, and take part in the Winter Season celebrations! But as they cook, brew and mingle with locals... Is there something happening in the town? Something the townsfolk aren't telling us? A creature in the woods that sings haunting hymns and devours booze and cheese like there's no tomorrow? Prepare yourself, because we're about to deck the halls!

STUFF the geese and cook the pies for this very merry celebration! FLIRT with the pretty noble like you're in a hallmark movie! RAP-BATTLE against the fiendish fey just outside your door!

All this in this very special episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... What kind of ritual ferments ale in just a week?

Jingle Bells by Kevin MacLeod http://incompetech.com/ ●ZitronSound - Christmas Eve ●Song - https://youtu.be/p_AplVMXw0k●ZitronSound - https://www.bassrebels.co.uk/ZitronSound Christmas Is Here by MorningLightMusic- https://mlmusic.site/playlists Collapse by Myuu https://soundcloud.com/myuu/collapse Silent Night (Dark Piano Version) by Myuu https://soundcloud.com/myuu/silent-night-dark-piano-version Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring Ⓒ CC BY 4.0, Kevin MacLeod, ⭳ http://ow.ly/gWZF30h6Zxu Deck The Halls (Christmas Cover) by Myuu https://soundcloud.com/myuu/deck-the-halls Gate by SmokU Beats https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SGg9q3tUf5I Carol Of The Bells by Postion Music https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bU4XulP0cns

CONTENT WARNINGS: Persistent ageism, romantic interactions, overbearing mother figures, sick hip-hop beats, desecration of an animals corpse, potential second hand embarrassment, destruction of homes, poverty

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Extinction Curse Ep. 70: Marvels & Mountains Dec 13, 2021

The way forward for the Wandering Three is clear! First, they must perform for the city of Diobel and secure a place in the once-in-a-century Radiant Festival, make their way into the Kortos Mountains, and... uh... well, we know that there's a tower that Aroden built up there SOMEWHERE, and we'll be... able to, uh, use our Aeon Powers and... save the world? Okay, we don't know EXACTLY where we're headed, but when have we ever? Our heroes must wow the crowds of the City on the Doorstep of Absalom to gain fame and fortune like they've never had before, and then take the final steps to finish their mission in saving the Isle of Kortos. But strange things lurk in the mountains, and not everything you see will make sense. All you can do is believe in yourself, believe in your friends... and keep fighting forward!

DAZZLE the City of Diobel with your greatest show so far! SPEAK with the strange NPC who really lives up to their role! UNCOVER the mystery of the bizarre watchpost and its even more bizarre residents!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, The Gayest Pathfinder Podcast On The Planet where we ask the Hard Questions like... how would a catfolk and a minotaur... y'know...

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CONTENT WARNINGS: An instance of misogynistic language, depersonalization, references to past child neglect, mind control, implied animal death, unreality, implied animal neglect, cannibalism, a VERY clever horse :)

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Extinction Curse Ep. 69: Travels & Tomorrows Dec 06, 2021

Every tale has an end, and this is the beginning of ours. Having reclaimed the final Aeon Orb from the Vault of the Black Desert, our heroes make their way to the city of Diobel to rest and recover before taking the final road on their adventure. The Kortos Mountains await them, but first... let's take a moment. Meet with friends, new, old, and forgotten. Tell stories, experience new feelings, ride a fucking roller coaster in a fantasy TTRPG. And of course... prepare to put on a show greater than any other for a chance to go down in history! Take one last breath of clean air before climbing up the mountains of heaven, adventurers... it may well be the last chance you get to do so.

LEARN of the ancient celebration, returning anew! DISCOVER forgotten secrets of your past! EXPOSE the mystery of the strange shopkeeper and her unusual store at last!

All this and more in this, the first episode of BOOK SIX: THE APOCALYPSE PROPHET (and Ep. 69 of Extinction Curse, NICE!) where we ask the Hard Questions like... what does it mean if your god winks at you?

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CONTENT WARNINGS: Serious discussions of Cultural Appropriation in the real world and racism towards Native American people, W-ndigos, themes of goodbyes and conclusion, bittersweet interactions, religious conversion, references to child neglect and toxic parenting, mentions of sexual encounters, the audience is gonna kill Derry for how this episode ends lolololol, animal breeding mentioned --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/appSupport this podcast: https://anchor.fm/dice-will-roll/support Get extra loot on our Patreon!

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Extinction Curse Ep. 68: Storms & Sorcery Nov 29, 2021

Enter the Lab of the Lord of the Black Sands! Dyzallin Shraen, Arcanist, Drow, Tyrant and Mummy is all that stands between the Wandering Three and the fifth and final Aeon Orb. With this, life can be returned to Kortos, wrongs can be undone, and the end of the grand adventure our circus has been whipped into can finally begin. Stinging betrayals, reality-bending magic and the most powerful combatants yet await our heroes as they take a stand for the surface!

FACE the evil experiments performed by the wicked magician! DO the impossible and push past your limits! SAVE the world from total devastation!

All this and more in this, the finale of Extinction Curse Book 5: Lord of the Black Sands, where we ask the Hard Questions like... Can a mummy also be a vampire?

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CONTENT WARNINGS: Mentions of advanced decomposition, goodbyes, betrayal, themes of indentured servitude, parallels to abusive relationships, THEY'RE BAAAAACK, references to disease--- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/appSupport this podcast: https://anchor.fm/dice-will-roll/support Get extra loot on our Patreon!

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Extinction Curse Ep. 67: Heralds & Harmonies Nov 22, 2021

Undead knights! Living statues! Mirror worlds! The Wandering Three take on the seven-floored tower of Dyzallin Shraen alongside the Ganzi Arcanist Il'setsya Wyrmtouched. But they're only halfway up, and the guardians that await them are no laughing matters! Can our heroes outwit treacherous traps, unsettling undead or even worse? I mean, probably, but it's gonna hurt a lot, right? No complaining— just face it and do your best!

CHALLENGE the undead musicians to a contest of song! SOLVE the strange riddle of the radioactive spirit! FACE the harbinger of the apocalypse that rises once more!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast On The Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... can ghosts unionize?

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CONTENT WARNINGS: References to body dysmorphia, bullying (light-hearted), references to genocide, themes of Armageddon, frequent butchery of Aztec words

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Extinction Curse Ep. 66: Mirrors & Mummies Nov 15, 2021

The Circus of Makeshift Wonders has impressed the reigning rulers of Shraen... but now their real adventure in the city of the dead can begin. The Wandering Three make their way into the misshapen tower of Dyzallin Shraen, the self proclaimed Lord of the Black Sands. Will our heroes be able to get through the seven floors of his obsidian fortress and reclaim the final Aeon Orb to save the Isle of Kortos? Or will they too be turned to dust?

RECKON with the ancient queens of the undead drow! SPAR with armour infused undead guards and their terrible frost powers! EXPLORE the halls of the evil mummy's tower!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... How reliable IS a chaos mage in combat?

SAFE HAVEN Discord: https://discord.gg/rW3vsWrbxh

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CONTENT WARNINGS: Explicit references to sex, man I'm pretty sure that's it. Huh. Oh, I guess we spoil the ending of The Shining in this? Hmm. Yeah, that's about it.--- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/appSupport this podcast: https://anchor.fm/dice-will-roll/support Get extra loot on our Patreon!

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Extinction Curse Ep. 65: Glamour & Ganzis Nov 08, 2021

Even hundreds of miles under the surface, the show must go on! As the Circus of Wayward Wonders' bravest heroes take on a gamble with a lich, they must put together their own circus to overcome the odds and wow the undead city of Shraen. But can even these masters of the craft tickle the funny bones of the land of the dead? Are their souls forfeit to the wicked Zavazik Shraen and his cruel Red Circus? Are their newfound friends doomed to eternal servitude? Our heroes have to get their act together— literally!— if they want to escape the City of Dust with their lives!

SPEAK with the Mistress of the Maelstrom and understand your true calling! DAZZLE the streets of the undead city with colours and lights unlike anything they've ever seen! PERFORM before the biggest crowd you've ever seen or perish for your hubris!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... Where's the off switch on a familiar?

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NIGHTS IN THE SKY FREE ONE-SHOT: https://www.dropbox.com/home?file_subpath=%2FPF2+Foundry+VTT+Pack%2Fmodule.json&preview=lights-in-the-sky.rar

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Revolution Void- Scattered Knowledge

CONTENT WARNINGS: Explicit depictions of slavery and the sale and trafficking of people, nihilist themes, references to sex, masturbation and orgasms, on-screen drug use, hallucinogens, one of the PCs has sex in this one, bone breaking (mild)--- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/appSupport this podcast: https://anchor.fm/dice-will-roll/support Get extra loot on our Patreon!

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Extinction Curse Ep. 64: Wagers & Wyrmwraiths Nov 01, 2021

OH SIKE! Our heroes are the starring act at Shraen's Red Circus— but performances down in the Darklands are a lot more deadly than where we're from! Facing off against a massive incorporeal dragon in front of a stadium of bloodthirsty spectators, the Wandering Three must survive terrifying games, strange politics and unusual performers if they want to get famous enough to track down the dreaded Dyzallin Shraen. Will our heroes become the next big thing in the City of Dust? Or are they about to bite said dust and be yesterday's news? Grab your tickets, cuz the show is about to begin!

DUEL a ferocious undead dragon for the amusement of thousands! GAMBLE your lives away in the hopes of a better tomorrow! ENCOUNTER the unusual lady of chaos and her advice for the party!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... Is it unethical to get high off a fungus leshy's spores?

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CONTENT WARNINGS: Themes of slavery and indentured servitude, suicide jokes (tame), themes of capitalism and nihilism, ARODEN LIVES, maggots, references to masturbation, alcoholism, references to drugs and hallucinogens

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Halloween Special 2021: Midnights & Mansions Oct 25, 2021

It's Halloween time, oooo!! The Kastner Expedition is going to go and drink the fabled Midnight Violet tea, which can only be found in the sleepy town of Twilight Hollow. However, the rare flower that's used to make this tea only grows on a single, mysterious island. On the island lies an abandoned, spooky mansion. The gang is going to have to face off against ghosts, ghouls, and g... gmonsters! This is some scary shit, you know! Join our heroes, Emyndiel, Pleatly-Does-It-Neatly, and Sera, on the adventure "House of the Midnight Violet, by Jeff C. Stevens, converted to Pathfinder 2e!

VENTURE to the haunted island of the dead artist! FACE the haunting creatures within! UNRAVEL the mystery of what happened in this creaking mansion! All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the gayest Pathfinder podcast on the planet, where we ask the hard questions like... How many cats is too many cats?

CONTENT WARNINGS: Ailurophobia, Themes of Abuse, Horror, Dysfunctional Families, Explicit Themes of Suicide, Explicit Themes of Child Endangerment, Porcelain Dolls Played for Horror, Implied Animal Death [Pets], Dead MILF, Religious Horror, Loss of Agency

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Follow You Home by Karl Casey @ White Bat Audio

Bad Omen by Karl Casey @ White Bat Audio

Evil Behind the Mask by Karl Casey @ White Bat Audio

Slasher by Karl Casey @ White Bat Audio

The BASEMENT by Natureworld1986

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Extinction Curse Ep. 63: Downtowns & Drow Oct 18, 2021

Oh boy! We're headed to Shraen, everyone! Now that our heroes are finished investigating the Cradle of Worms, they have to track down the undead drow noble who brought it back to his city in the sand. Who knows what will await The Wandering Three there?! Debt mongers, ready to trap you in debt so large you'll never pay it off? Zombie markets, with goods you could never find legally on the surface? A strange circus, with a tent the size of a mountain? It's gonna be spooky, it's gonna be scary, and it's gonna be dangerous! Who knows how our heroes will fare?

VISIT the City of Dust, dwarfed by looming pyramids and towers! EXPLORE the Antiquities District, in search of an old friend! BRAVE The Red Circus and its unusual performances! All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the gayest Pathfinder podcast on the planet, where we ask the hard questions, like... Is it a red flag to see a single living creature in a sea of undead?

SAFE HAVEN KICKSTARTER: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/derryluttrell/safe-haven-a-weird-west-tale-for-pathfinder-2e-dandd-5e

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Content Warnings: Acute Themes of Slavery and Indentured Servitude, Themes of Existential Capitalist Despair, Unwanted Romantic Attention, GIVE ME MONEY FOR MY KICKSTARTER ASMR, Radiation Poisoning

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Extinction Curse Ep. 62: Driders & Duregar Oct 11, 2021

Oh shit, we're in a pyramid! Unfortunately for our heroes, it isn't as empty as they wished it would be. On the bright side, there are ancient records inside, for cool things like dragon gods! On the less than bright side though, there are also vampire spiders, which are pretty dangerous and decidedly less cool than dragon god records. The Forces of House Shraen are here as well, and it looks like they're experimenting on the last aeon orb at the bottom of the pyramid. The Wandering Three will have to stop them to get the aeon orb back and save The Isle of Kortos! Will they succeed? Or will House Shraen succeed in their experimental plans?

BATTLE against Crazed Undead Drow! RACE through winding corridors! DUEL with a mysterious foe with a mysterious weapon!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... how do you repel sea worms?

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CONTENT WARNINGS: ACUTE ARACHNOPHOBIA (Consider skipping to second half of episode if needed!), Descriptions of Strangulation, Body Horror, Slavery, The Sexiest Kill in DWR History, Character Death, Debt

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Extinction Curse Ep. 61: Pyramids & Peril Oct 04, 2021

All the old paintings on the tombs, they do the sand dance, don't you know? This joke doesn't work (oh whey oh) because it's more of a rainforest-style pyramid than an Egyptian one, and also I have no rhythm! The Wandering Three have finally found the legendary pyramid of Xhul-Khunder, and must searchj its twisting corridors and rooms to find the final Aeon Orb which the dead god left behind! Will our heroes be able to brave the jungle doom that awaits them; the mighty guardians, curious lore and deadly traps? Or will the truth that faces them and the history of the orbs that keep their island safe be enough to break them? Let's walk like a Xulgath and find out!

ENCOUNTER the deadly warriors of the ancient empire and struggle against their power! UNCOVER forgotten secrets, new and old, in the search of salvation! STAND before the single most world-changing foe that our heroes have EVER encountered!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... NO WAY ARE YOU SERIOUSLY... ONE OF THOSE GUYS..?

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Content Warnings: Themes of Genocide, references to slavery, references to body trauma,, A BABY BOY OHHHHH MY LITTLE BABY MAAAAAN, falling down stairs, arachnophobia, worms

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Extinction Curse Ep. 60: Crits & Cave Worms Sep 27, 2021

The Wandering Three and their current companions have been exploring and searching for the Aeon Orb diligently. They're slowly making their way through the Cradle of Worms, which is a jungle deep in the Darklands, full of strange and unusual sights and monsters. They've been to the Azure Eye, an island full of ghosts and memories of who once resided here in this place. When reaching the Sunken Titan, a statue so massive that the ruins they came across were just a gigantic hand, they met a strange Ahmut, who likes to eat souls, but is very picky, and knows when they've lost a fight! Now, the gang makes their way towards The Crown of Teeth, which is said to be a giant worm spawning ground. They're not looking forward to that, but the quest must go on! Will the Wandering Three be able to find what they are looking for, or will the Darklands and all that inhabit it be enough to stop our heroes...?

WITNESS the incredible spawning ground of the original Purple Worms! UNCOVER ancient secrets of the Xulgath's religion! DELVE into the temple of Xhul-Khunder!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the gayest Pathfinder podcast on the planet, where we ask the hard questions, like... How hard can a Furby be thrown and survive?

SAFE HAVEN KICKSTARTER: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/derryluttrell/safe-haven-a-weird-west-tale-for-pathfinder-2e-dandd-5e

CONTENT WARNINGS: Suicide Jokes, Themes of Genocide, Worms, Slavery, Blatant Fanservice Like What Is This A Skeevy 2000s Anime, Chest Trauma, Gore, Animal Abuse(?)

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Dice Will Roll One-Shot: Dinners & Dwarves Sep 20, 2021

A Huntin' We Shall Go! Join us as our gender non-comformiest GM, Derry, brings Dave, Ritz and Luna and a brand new cast of characters up into the lonely World's Edge Mountains to a luxurious dinner in a comfortable lodge for Gen Con 2021 Online! And surely, nothing bad will happen, right? Right? Join us for this Pathfinder 2e One-Shot: Dinner at Lionlodge!

PARTAKE in a wonderful feast high in the mountains! UNCOVER dark secrets of a clandestine organization! ENCOUNTER a famous phantom thief and their vulpine mask! All this in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... How do Leshies pick stuff up?

CONTENT WARNINGS: Heavy themes of suicidal ideation, discussions of euthanasia, cannibalism, decapitation, cults, awkward interactions, implied animal abuse, sexy elf DILF--- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/appSupport this podcast: https://anchor.fm/dice-will-roll/support Get extra loot on our Patreon!

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Extinction Curse Ep. 58: Feasts & Fiend-binders Sep 06, 2021

Flesh! Flesh! Flesh! Flesh! The denizens of the Darklands are a notoriously mysterious lot... but are they completely untrustworthy? Our heroes have some translucent fleshed creeps hot on their trails, with glowing red eyes, long tongues and visible internal organs. What are their intentions? To eat the bones of the Wandering Three? Or to befriend them? Could it be both? I'm not sure what the love language of an Urdefhan is! One thing's for certain: we have a long night ahead of us! WRESTLE with the eel-like fiend from the plane of Abbadon!

PARTAKE in the strange festivities of the Banquet of Blood and Venom! DISCOVER the secret origin of a long hated foe!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... Wanna hear Derry laugh so hard it hurts?

SUPPORT LOGAN'S TOP SURGERY: https://gofund.me/6b06bb1e

CONTENT WARNINGS: Ingestion of Unsanitary Foods, Senseless Violence, Themes of Extinction, Themes of Genocide, Themes of Colonialism, Slavery, Torture, PTSD, Abuse, Surprisingly Cute Moments From Your Favourite Gugfriend--- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/appSupport this podcast: https://anchor.fm/dice-will-roll/support Get extra loot on our Patreon!

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Extinction Curse Ep. 57: Deserts & Dread Aug 30, 2021

A Thousand Burning Eyes! A face wrapped in linen! ZOMBIES! The Wandering Three have encountered some pretty bizarre things on their journeys, but the journey to the Black Desert goes beyond weird. After making their way through crystal caves, mushroom forests and hallucinogenic grottos, they're only just on the doorstep of the underground vault that the original Xulgath hail from. Can our heroes brave the lethal radiation, deadly inhabitants and long lost mysteries of this land? Maybe! But we should probably stop the Froghemoth first. I mentioned the Froghemoth, right? Aw, nuts, I'm so scatter brained. Oh well!

INVESTIGATE ancient ruins from a bygone era! SKIRMISH with freaky foes from deep beneath the surface! RECKON with the terrible legends that stare you down with eyes the size of boulders!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... Ahf' ah cahf mgvulgtnah hnah mgep ya? Ia! Iaaaaaaagh!

SUPPORT LOGAN'S TOP SURGERY: https://gofund.me/6b06bb1e

CONTENT WARNINGS: Gore, internal body trauma, themes of extinction, Lovecraftian elements, Megalophobia, worms, stuckage, descriptions of intentional bone dislocation, descriptions of paralysis

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Extinction Curse Ep. 56: Caves & Caligni Aug 23, 2021

The Wandering Three didn't sign up for this! Heading deep underground, into the Darklands? This wasn't on the travel plans! In order to save Willowside, we must briefly say goodbye to our dearest friends in the circus and begin a quest to the radioactive Black Desert. Our heroes will be exploring places not often traveled by surface dwellers, finding dangerous monsters and poisonous flora at perhaps every turn. What kind of people will they meet? What sights will they see? Will they leave with their lives? It's time to start spelunking- just don't lose your path!

TELEPORT deep beneath the ground with the aid of a reclusive nature cult! EXPLORE the magnificent cave with its unusual properties! INVESTIGATE ancient pilgrimage sites deep in the fungal forest!
All this and more in the premiere episode of Dice Will Roll Book 5: Lord of the Black Sands, where we ask the hard questions like... what kind of crystals make the best dog food?

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CONTENT WARNINGS: Hallucinogenics, Drug-Use, Unreality, Italians, Light Arguments

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Extinction Curse Ep. 55: Necromancers & Nebulas Aug 16, 2021

GUG GUG AGAIN!! What?! It turns out, the siege on Willowside was never actually being orchestrated by the Xulgath at all! Instead, A gug by the name of Gug Eats-The-Eaters has been controlling the leader of this group of Xulgath from behind the scenes! What will our heroes do about this? Will they defeat the gug, ensuring safety for the town and our beloved circus? Or will this be the end for The Wandering Three and Willowside? The end of the war is coming either way... and our heroes will walk on. The question is... will they be alive or dead when they do?

DUEL with a fearsome monster and her undead minions! PUZZLE over the speaking tower and its peculiar message! PLUNGE into your dreams and confront the creatures that have been controlling you for so long!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the hard questions like... so, what's up with the worm-on-a-strings?

Proud Members of the Be Gay Roll Dice network. CONTENT WARNINGS: Exsanguination, Body Horror, Big Scary Goth Tiddies, Miscommunication, Zombies

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Extinction Curse Ep. 54: Hardscales & Head-Takers Aug 09, 2021

HEIGH-HOOOOOOO!! The Circus' adventure in Willowside has been eventful. After freeing dinosaurs, rescuing the Banyan Boys from the clutches of a cult, and saving a group of gugs from slavery, The Wandering Three are finally getting ready to storm the Xulgath camp once and for all! They'll be attacking the siege tower and defeating the leaders of the armies, heroically ending the siege on Willlowside once and for all! But will this attempt to save the town work? Or will The Wandering Three fail in their attempt to stop the Xulgath horde... or whatever secret plot their leader, Arskuva the Gnasher, is hiding?
SNEAK through the troglodyte camp to battle with their leaders! BALK at the gruesome practices of Zevgavizeb's most devout! STARE in horror at the terrible truth that has been right beneath your nose all this time!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the hard questions like... you can't die if your shield is up, right?

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CONTENT WARNINGS: Cremation, Bone Breaking, Body Horror, Cannibalism, Desecration of Corpses, Verified "OH SHIT" moments, Description of Broken Necks

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Extinction Curse Ep. 53: Roaches & Redemption Aug 02, 2021

AAAAAGH! FIEEEENDS! Abyssal monsters have ambushed the Wandering Three in their journey to stop the Siege of the Dinosaurs. They're big, they're bad, they smell surprisingly nice, and they're from a hellish realm of dinosaur planets where only the strongest survive! These demonic opponents are the only thing that stand between Willowside and safety... But can we beat them? Or are we the ones about to go extinct?

WRESTLE with the saurian horrors from another world! TALK with those dearest to you before the final battle! PUZZLE over the curious shopkeeper and her wares!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the hard questions like... What is this "radumshin" you speak of?

CONTENT WARNINGS: Hypnotism, Insects, Body Horror, Propaganda, Discussion of Unhealthy Platonic Relationships & Co-Dependency, Gurty Goldpockets Goldpockets Emporium Established 4719 AR Where Adventure Goes We Follow

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Extinction Curse Ep. 52: Gugs & Gluttonraptors Jul 26, 2021

GUG GUG GUG! The war between surface dwellers and denizens of the deep accelerates at breakneck speed as Willowside is robbed of the chance to bolster its defenses. Now, the Wandering Three have no choice but to wander deep into the Welt to seek out the more esoteric encampments that are bringing them woe. Dinosaur camps? Demon pens? GUG GUG GUG GUG? Can the siege finally be turned right back on the invaders? Or will something deep and dark hunt our heroes for the rest of their days? Also, there's a kiss in this episode.

DEFEND Willowside from the midnight march of the primeval forces that oppose them! STEAL the eggs of the dinosaurs to bring a new era to the Circus of Wayward Wonders! INVESTIGATE the cruel camps the Xulgath have founded and the horrors that lie within!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, The Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... How do you grin if your head is only a mouth?

CONTENT WARNINGS: Bugs, gory sound effects, creepy crawly sound effects, impalement, torture, slavery, senseless violence played for horror, on-screen romantic interactions, body horror, your mom OOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH, cannibalism

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Extinction Curse Ep. 51: Butchers & Barricades Jul 19, 2021

War! Huh! Good god, y'all, what is it good for?! Defending yourselves from an invasion of underground dinosaurs, it seems. The Wandering Three continue their defense of Willowside from mounting Xulgath forces, uncovering deadly serial killers (again) and taking on the wretched cultists. But what are the troglodytes even here for? What's their goal? Do... Do they even know? The mysteries surrounding the Siege of the Dinosaurs grow each passing day... As does the danger facing this town! Don't give up now— keep fighting!

SEARCH for the terrible murderer that's been plaguing the outskirts of town! RAGE against the Xulgath army and their forces! UNCOVER the brainwashing these dinosaur people have put themselves through!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... What are the naming conventions of the Xulgath?

CONTENT WARNINGS: Serial Killers, Body Horror, Absolute Fucking Destruction Of A Poor Fucking Plush Creature, Cult Ideology, Ethnonationalism, Religious Trauma Minor Character Death

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Extinction Curse Ep. 50: Starworms & Spinosaurs Jul 12, 2021

The battle for Willowside is on the horizon, and we're ready to fight for it! After rescuing the Banyan Boys from a terrifying underground cult, the Wandering Three must team up with them and other mighty adventurers to protect this town from certain doom. Blockades on the road! Sea Monsters at the bay! Strange disappearances at the swamp! Can our heroes stop them all? Or will the invading prehistoric forces reduce us to rubble? PARLAY with the cosmic worms and heed their cryptic messages! SEARCH the hinterlands for danger and figure out how best to stop it! SAVE the town from the jaws of starvation by tackling immense dinosaurs! All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the hard questions like... Are there heroic applications of Girlboss, Gatekeep, Gaslight?

CONTENT WARNINGS: Unreality, particularly gruesome murders, body horror, squick horror, emetophobia, choking, MPREG??? I fucking guess?--- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/appSupport this podcast: https://anchor.fm/dice-will-roll/support Get extra loot on our Patreon!

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Extinction Curse Ep. 49: Doomsayers & Dungeoneers Jul 05, 2021

Something sickly lives beneath Willowside. The town has tried to forget... indeed, many of them have. But the caves remember. How could they not? The Wandering Three find themselves exploring the den of a terrible cult and unraveling the riddles they left behind. What is the truth behind The Shrine Of The Sea Monster? What foul thing did they worship? And what are the Banyan Boys looking for down here in the depths? The cold air gnaws and the deeps call out... do you dare to listen in?

EXPLORE deep beneath the town and face untold horrors below! EVADE terrible traps that may spell your doom! BOW before the Shrine Of The Sea Monster, and embrace the end of time!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the hard questions like... can a furby feel fear?

CONTENT WARNINGS: Cults, Cosmic Horror, Unreality, Drowning, Misogyny, Sexism, Woman-Hating, Slut Shaming, Gender Based Discrimination, Bigotry Against Women, Cishet Men

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Be Gay Roll Dice: Crossovers & Combobreakers Jun 29, 2021

HEROES OF THE MULTIVERSE! ARE YOU READY TO RUMBLE?! In this very special episode with guest stars from the Be Gay Roll Dice network, adventurers from across multiple realities are drawn together to take part in an interdimensional wresting tournament! Iconic monsters from across tabletop systems, superpowered punches and more await you in the realm of MALISTENT THE MAGNIFICENT in this Pride Month One-Shot! Hosted by Derry from Dice Will Roll and starring Ziva from The Eternity Archives, Tick from Goblets & Gays, Dean from Bits Before Crits and Dave from Dice Will Roll, and proudly made possible by the Be Gay Roll Dice network!

Theme Song: Blip Stream by Kevin Macleod

Skylark from Pathfinder: Kingmaker OST by Owlcat Games

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Extinction Curse Ep. 48: Terror & T-Rexes Jun 28, 2021

The Siege of the Dinosaurs has just begun! Ambushed by ferocious beasts on the way home from a rescue mission, the Wandering Three are slowly made aware that something terrible has happened. But why here? Why Willowside? What is the truth of this old town, with its rotting landscape, its crooked mansions and its haunting dreams? What happened here, centuries before even Dain Eilidi came here? And why is it happening again? Only time will tell... if you dare to venture into the depths.

BATTLE with primal foes of the prehistoric past! PEER into the eternal dreams of everlasting slumber! DESCEND into haunted caves in search of missing heroes!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the hard questions like... what seasoning goes best with fried dinosaur skins?

https://www.dicewillroll.com/ Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/dicewillroll Discord: https://discord.gg/FmB567R Twitter: https://twitter.com/DiceWillRoll Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/dicewillroll Reddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/dicewillroll/ Music by Will Savino, MusicD20 Theme Song by Sim @TheSimulacrae Proud Members of the Be Gay Roll Dice network.

CONTENT WARNINGS: Thalassophobia, themes of despair, themes of war, mentions of civilian casualties, cosmic horror, unreality, cishet men, evil pufferfish (real)

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Extinction Curse Ep. 47: Summons & Skeletons Jun 21, 2021

The fun never stops the fun never stops the fun never stops! The awful truth of Fortune's Hall is beginning to reveal itself in calamitous waves for the Wandering Three! Crawling Gahlepods, creeping Brugadatches and Lumbering Doblagubs spell doom for the unsuspecting guests of this former safe haven of a casino, and not a single one of the patrons has even noticed! Can our brave heroes save the imperiled gamblers? Or are they flat out of luck? Only time will tell! It's time to choose- raise, call or fold? Think fast- the one thing we don't have is time!

BATTLE the awful titanic bone monster and it's terrifying claw guts! READ through the instructions to an incredible primal ritual! PAUSE the adventure to go pick some flowers, you've earned it, dude.
All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the hard questions like... when do clowns learn how to read?

Additional Music by Shane Ivers.

Signs To Nowhere by Shane Ivers is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License.

CONTENT WARNINGS: Gambling, descriptions of emaciation, parallels to drugged food or drink, starvation, animal endangerment, big ostritch in a dress (it hates the dress)

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Extinction Curse Ep. 46: Croaks & Casinos Jun 14, 2021

Welcome to Fortune's Hall, where the fun never ends! The Circus of Wayward Wonders is grounded in Willowside following a most unfortunate accident, and with more and more dinosaur sightings outside town, the heat is rising for the Wandering Three. Sent on a rescue mission by Mayor Vandy, they must make their way to Fortune's Hall casino a few miles out from town, the Wandering Three must seek out the missing people who haven't returned in over a month! Are they all dead? Or has something much, much weirder happened? Make sure your dice aren't loaded- we're about to gamble with more than just money today!

OBSERVE the strange amphibians and their even stranger evolution! EXPERIMENT with the delicious food, almost too good to be true! INVESTIGATE the creaky barn, and the horrors within!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the hard questions like... can cats appear out of thin air?

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Music by Will Savino, MusicD20
Theme Song by Sim @TheSimulacrae
Proud Members of the Be Gay Roll Dice network.

Additional Music by Shane Ivers.

Signs To Nowhere by Shane Ivers is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License.

CONTENT WARNINGS: Gambling, descriptions of emaciation, parallels to drugged food or drink, starvation, cishet men, old lady flirting

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Extinction Curse Ep. 45: Quetzalcoatluses & Queers Jun 07, 2021

Roll up, roll up! Distract yourselves from the grim world outside and come to a land where the lights are colourful, the music is swelling and the popcorn is freshly made! The Circus of Wayward Wonders bands together to bring cheer to the morose town of Willowside after a particularly eventful week. Feelings may still be hurt, Aeon Orbs may still be missing, but the show must always, always always go on! And nothing can ruin a performance like this, right..? Bones, oh bones, what lies in the future of the Wandering Three? Will it be Weal? Or Woe? And thusly the bones spin, and deliver their fortune of... WOE.

CLASH with the loud brothers as they put on a scene before the Circus camp! PERFORM for the good people despite all the obstacles in your path! PROTECT those you love from the terrors of the sky!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the hard questions like... Are Casinos and Circuses related or something?

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Music by Will Savino, MusicD20
Theme Song by Sim @TheSimulacrae
Proud Members of the Be Gay Roll Dice network.

CONTENT WARNINGS: Exclusion from activities as a form of punishment, decapitation, bisection, cishet men, themes of doom.

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Extinction Curse Ep. 44: Sea Monsters & Slumber May 31, 2021

One good night's sleep. That's all we ask for. And we can't even have that. The entire Circus of Wayward Wonders awakens in the middle of the night, plagued by grim nightmares of a terrible flood and an even more terrible creature lurking beneath it. This, on top of everything that's happened in Willowside so far, is making it more and more apparent that there's something wrong in this little town. Is it the Aeon Orb? The salty air? Something more sinister? Our heroes must bandage their wounds and work together as a team in order to save the world and get the Aeon Orb. They can do this!

Right?

QUESTION the locals about all manners of strange leads! VENTURE deep into the blighted land to find the key to your quest! DESPAIR at the awful truth which threatens to engulf you!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... are old men with deer heads more trustworthy?

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Music by Will Savino, MusicD20
Theme Song by Sim @TheSimulacrae
Proud Members of the Be Gay Roll Dice network.

CONTENT WARNINGS: References to Thassalaphobia & Megalaphobia, Wounded Friendships, Themes of Despair & Failure, Slavery Mentions, Evil Pufferfish

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Extinction Curse Ep. 43: Answers & Aasimar May 24, 2021

Fool me once? Shame on you. Fool me for over a century? What the hell, man. The Circus has come to the aging town of Willowside, but for once, our heroes are more preoccupied with the mysteries their party holds than the mysteries of their environs. A hundred years of lies are finally being uncovered, and yet the truth is no less perplexing. Who is Volio Via, exactly? What is Oddbody? What does any of this have to do with the blighted Welt that surrounds Willowside? And the question weighing heaviest on our party's mind... why did Volio do what he did? Uncover the questions that may finally lead to clarity in the dim Hooked Inn... and finally glimpse the truth.

EXPLORE the lonely village sitting at the precipice of swampy desolation! ENCOUNTER the strange locals and their stranger mannerisms! TREMBLE as the freakish nightmares of the past grab you tight and pull you under!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... are himbos inherently benevolent?

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Music by Will Savino, MusicD20
Theme Song by Sim @TheSimulacrae
Proud Members of the Be Gay Roll Dice network.

CONTENT WARNINGS: Heavy Arguments, Angst, Abuse, Implied Bullying, Trauma, Hate Crimes, Unsolicited Flirting, Cishet Men, Breaches of Trust, Thassalaphobia, Megalaphobia, Descriptions of Drowning

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Extinction Curse Ep. 42: Blights & Boglands May 17, 2021

Willowside. The site of the final Aeon Orb, and the beginning of the end of our adventure. And yet... There are those among us not willing to take that final step. Lies... Deceit... Conjured realities presented as fact. If you believe in the lie, maybe the lie will come true. But between weird clowns in your peripheral vision, visions of a swampy wasteland come true and friends who just don't get the message that you aren't worthy of help... Will you be able to do what you think you need to, Volio? Or will you go up in flames, like everything from before? It's in your hands, clown man. Just don't screw up.

TRAVEL the crystal blue seas aboard the gorgeous trading vessel! WADE through the rotting countryside of the mysteriously ill land! STARE DOWN the truth you thought you knew, but really, truly did not for oh so long?

All this and more in this, the premiere of Extinction Curse Book 4: SIEGE OF THE DINOSAURS, where we ask the Hard Questions like... Do you look at it, Volio?

CONTENT WARNINGS: Heavy Arguments, Angst, Deadnaming Kinda Sorta, Breaches of Trust, Attempted Suicide, Unreality, Implied Bullying, Trauma

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Extinction Curse Ep. 41: Grief & Grimalkins May 10, 2021

"Old Lady Swinten’s broke, and Rogor Swinten can rot in his grave. Should’ve sold me that acre, Rogor, your widow is gonna’ starve. Don’t tell her about Vandy. No, no, no. Now Vandy’s money is blood money. Blood money now. She rides with spurs of fire; the Night Lady, oh, the fire it burns!"

The Aeon Towers have been saved. The Crucifixion Killer has been captured. The Xulgath of the Swardlands have been banished. Now all that remains is a friendly man and the dark secret he's hiding. The coincidences have been piling up, and his time is running out. How long before the Night Hag that's been plaguing the Swardlands strikes again... And will stopping Vandy help? It's time to prepare for some matricide, and save the world some more- we've got a mystery to solve! SOOTHE the mourning fey with some closure at last! CREEP through the creaking floorboards of an old house! REVEAL the terrible plot against the Isle of Kortos and prepare for the worst! All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... interdimensional portals aren't inherently magic, right?
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CONTENT WARNINGS: Sexist & Slut-Shaming language, Familial Abuse, Extreme Distress and Sadness--- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/appSupport this podcast: https://anchor.fm/dice-will-roll/support Get extra loot on our Patreon!

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Extinction Curse Ep. 40: Murders & Mutants Apr 26, 2021

Beat the bad guys! Climb the tower! Get the Aeon Orb! Saving the world is that easy! But what do you do when some complications get thrown your way? Serial killers... Troglodytes... Warlords... You know, the usual! As the Wandering Three face off their most deadly foes yet, they must hold their own against the cruel conquerors of the Swardlands and the mighty power they wield! And they'll come out unscathed as ever... Won't they? CAPTURE the wicked Crucifixion Killer and deliver her to justice! PEER at the bizarre, skittering mutants and their unnatural anatomies! BATTLE against terrible monsters atop the apex of the Old Forest Tower! All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... Can we get sued by DOOM for stealing their box art scene in a podcast?

Content Warnings: Discussions of Lobotomy, Crucifixion and Cannibalism, Major Character Death (uh oh), Abuse Parallels--- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/appSupport this podcast: https://anchor.fm/dice-will-roll/support Get extra loot on our Patreon!

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Extinction Curse Ep. 39: Sieges & Serial Killers Apr 19, 2021

Charge! The Wandering Three have found themselves pitted against the forces of evil at the Old Forest Tower where hordes of Xulgath prepare for a showdown against their incoming circus star foes. Might! Mutants! Weird statues! Our brave adventurers will see it all as they begin their final push into the last Aeon Orb of the Swardlands in order to save the Isle of Kortos from environmental destruction! But as they make their way into the tower... They'll soon find that a much more real doom awaits them!SNEAK past enemy lines by flapping your wings like a huge colourful asshole! WRESTLE with the weird, muscular monstrosity without a head (or so it seems!) UNCOVER the truth behind the recent slayings and the dark secrets behind their motives!All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, The Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet where we ask the Hard Questions like... Is it morally superior to fossilize bad guys instead of killing them?https://www.dicewillroll.com/Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/dicewillrollDiscord: https://discord.gg/FmB567RTwitter: https://twitter.com/DiceWillRollFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/dicewillrollReddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/dicewillroll/Music by Will Savino, MusicD20Theme Song by Sim @TheSimulacraeProud Members of the Be Gay Roll Dice network.CONTENT WARNINGS: Fire, Claustrophobia, Unsolicited Flirting, Brain Dissection, Lobotomies--- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/appSupport this podcast: https://anchor.fm/dice-will-roll/support Get extra loot on our Patreon!

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Extinction Curse Ep. 38: Woodlands & Wonders Apr 12, 2021

Come one, come all! For one night only, the Circus of Wayward Wonders is performing in the town of Turpin Rowe during the height of the stump festival! Come watch their aerobatics-themed performance as the performers take on new heights for your viewing pleasure- literally! But beyond the town limits, deep in the Immenwoods, a goal awaits our heroes... the Old Forest Tower and the glowing Aeon Orb... and our final destination in the Swardlands! But what else is out in the woods? Who lurks in the trees? What's that... weird, singing noise? Only one way to find out! Let's get hiking!
RUSH to keep the show on the road as last minute complications arise! UNCOVER further mysteries of the mysterious deaths! COVER your eyes and avert your gaze from the horrific, vengeful creature!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet where we ask the Hard Questions like... is it bodyshaming if looks can ACTUALLY kill?

CONTENT WARNINGS: Crucifixion, Lobotomy, Physical Injuries, Detailed Discussion of Physical Ugliness

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Extinction Curse Ep. 37: Dandelions & Dragons Apr 05, 2021

If you go down to the woods tonight... You'll find a hunting pack of Xulgath, preying on innocent lives! The Wandering Three are braving the dangers of the Immenwoods today as they set out to rescue the employees of a forestbound distillery from the clutches of wretched Xulgath. But what else lies within the woods? If the Xulgath aren't behind the serial lobotomies plaguing Turpin Rowe... then who is? Another mystery on the pile of mysteries we have to solve— aren't we busy enough with the Aeon Towers and Dream Hauntings? Whatever, throw it on the to-do list... Let's save some labourers! DUCK from the explosions and flames caused by an errant spark! ENJOY the festival and its many games! QUESTION the motives of a trusted ally and their odd behaviour!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet where we ask the Hard Questions like... does it matter how big a fish tank is if it's enchanted to move with the fish?

CONTENT WARNINGS: Discussion of crucifixion, cannibalism, lobotomies, gaslighting

Additional Music by Skooma Scamp (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tNZXDUZu2To)

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Extinction Curse Ep. 36: Lumber & Lobotomies Mar 29, 2021

TIMBERRRR! The Circus of Wayward Wonders is almost done touring the farmlands of the Swardlands as they arrive in the logging town of Turpin Rowe, just in time for the annual Stump Festival! Games, grub and goodies galore! But rumors swirl beneath the surface as mysterious deaths appear around town. But these aren't your average mysterious deaths. These are ADVANCED mysterious deaths! Could they somehow be linked to the other mysterious deaths going on? Or are these an unrelated string? Man... there really are a LOT of mysterious deaths around here, huh. Like, even back in Abberton! Boom, more mysterious deaths! Guess we've got another mystery to solve, gang... chop chop, as it were! The show must go on!

ADMIRE the beautiful woodwork of the scenic logging town! SEEK out adventure with which to grow your reputation! INVESTIGATE the local business and stumble on a truly grim scene indeed!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet where we ask the Hard Questions like... are magical landlords any different to real ones?

CONTENT WARNINGS: Crucifixion, implied cannibalism, lobotomies, potential second-hand embarrassment sources, implied unwanted romantic attraction

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Extinction Curse Ep. 35: Bravery & Brigands Mar 22, 2021

Another day, another town thoroughly entertained! Following the successful defeat of the Xulgath at the Liferoot Stone, the Circus of Wayward Wonders is ready to hit the road again for their last spot on their tour of the Swardlands in Turpin Rowe. But these lands are not perfectly safe! Around every corner, one might find danger... And not all the danger one finds is necessarily monsters or beasts! Sometimes... MAN IS THE REAL MONSTER. WHOOOOAAAHHHH! Duck your head and keep yourself safe- it's your money or your life!

LISTEN to the beautiful song of the gravedigger in front of an audience of the rich! SNEAK into the mysterious magic shop while nobody is looking! SOLVE the case of the unnatural illness and wherever it stems from!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet where we ask the Hard Questions like... is crime a good alternative to Universal Healthcare?

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Extinction Curse Ep. 34: Statues & Stone Lieges Mar 15, 2021

Caught between a rock and a hard place! The Wandering Three have discovered the crumbling Liferoot Stone where once Dwarven Warlords raised an army to invade the city of Absalom... but now, nothing remains but the Aeon Orb floating above. ALSO THE XULGATH. AND LIVING STATUES. AND THERE WAS A T-REX, BUT WE TOOK CARE OF IT. Our heroes must once again climb the tower above and touch the stars above in order to continue lighting the fires of the Isle of Kortos' soul and save it from environmental collapse! But what secrets lurk just around the corner at the top of the tower? Only time can tell... now embrace the light within and RUN before the golem guards catch you!

EVADE the patrolling titans which circle the ancient tower! SHUDDER at the creepy collections which cover the walls! WRESTLE with the monstrous, four-eyed rodent in the rubble!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet where we ask the Hard Questions like... is it cool to kill your evolutionary ancestors cuz they're kinda assholes?

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Extinction Curse Ep. 33: Candles & Carnivores Mar 08, 2021

AAAAAHHH! SCARY FAIRY! A gangling monster peers through the woods beyond the edge of the graveyard, its waxy fingers beckoning you to your doom! Surely this folkloric fiend is the most dangerous thing on the rocky outskirts of the Sulwen Hills, and not, say... the reported giant footsteps in the dirt? The reports of living statues and ancient Dwarven Warlords? The awesome, cool, motherfuckin' BEAST of a monster that roams the hills with the title of "sickest animal to ever live"? No, for real, the candle-fingered Yaganty is much worse than all of them. Why? CUZ IT'S RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU! WOOGA WOOGA WOOGA! ROLL INITIATIVE!

BATTLE the dreadful fey fiend in the pitch black woods! PARTAKE in some stew among the displaced refugees of a nuclear attack! TRAVEL to the ancient tower and claim your destiny as your own!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet where we ask the Hard Questions like... can dinosaurs believe in GOD?

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Extinction Curse Ep. 32: Orchards & Orbituaries Mar 01, 2021

Over the hills and far away... the Circus of Wayward Wonders is on its way! The Apple Capital of the Inner Sea, Castinlee, is next on the agenda for the tour of the Swardlands, and for a multitude of reasons! Fruit, better than anywhere else in Kortos! The Ancient Liferoot Stone, one of the Aeon Towers left by Aroden! A singing shoony and the ghosts he sings to! Who knows what the Circus of Wayward Wonders will find next? But are our heroes prepared? Each has their own story they're not telling the others... and saving the Starstone Isle is a heavy burden to bear. It's probably nothing! Yeehaw, let's eat some apples!

ADMIRE the beautiful town and its gossiping residents! BEHOLD the marketable plushies and their uncanny likenesses to the real deals! TREMBLE before the local folklore come to life!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet where we ask the Hard Questions like... mummy, mummy, may I please partake in the chilled creams offered by the circus, I've been such a good little boy?

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Extinction Curse Ep. 31: Crystals & Constructs Feb 22, 2021

Machines? Technology? ROBOTS? What the heck! We were told this was just a circus campaign, where's all this scifi junk coming from? As the Wandering Three explore the Wellspring Tower in search of their second Aeon Orb, it becomes clear that someone has come here before them. Who is the mysterious culprit behind these weird machines and unearthly goings-ons? How were they able to get such rare and unusual treasures to help them accomplish their goal? What even is their goal? And why is one of our number quietly not stopping them? Eh, probably doesn't matter. Fasten your seatbelts, though, everyone- we've a bumpy ride ahead!

BATTLE against terrible golems from deep beneath the earth! STUDY the curious device and its awful might! ABSORB the power of the dead god and grow in strength once again!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet where we ask the Hard Questions like... what's the best coping mechanism to use after seeing the end of the world?

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Extinction Curse Ep. 30: Dancers & Dustclouds Feb 16, 2021

Pugs and pugs and pugs! The town of Matten Cleave is about to watch the show of a lifetime... as are half the shoony population of Fenry! What delights await them? Heavenly music? Flying horses? MONSTER ATTACKS? We've got it all! And yet, all eyes are on the horizon with the Wellspring Tower, home of the second Aeon Orb, stands. The land around the dying light is bone dry, and the once bountiful woodlands are failing. Could it be the work of the dreaded Xulgath, on their crusade to destroy these ancient orbs? Naaaah, couldn't be! It's probably a land vampire, or something! How do you kill a land vampire? Well, there's only one way to learn. Let's get the show running, and save the day once again!

WRESTLE the dreaded beast, with hooked claws and beaks alike! SPEAK with the wise shoony and their ancient farming ways! SNEAK into the tower past the saurian threat that guards it!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet where we ask the Hard Questions like... can a giant walking sea mine be your new best friend?

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Extinction Curse Ep. 29: Pastures & Popcorn Feb 08, 2021

Candy! Get your candy here! We got taffy, we got liquorice, we got Monster Energy Drink... and if you stick around, there'll even be a grand circus show this week! The Circus has come to Matten Cleave, the center of a sprawling expanse of farmsteads, and our heroes are preparing to put on a good show! Rumours of mysterious deaths, dying land and ancient towers float through town... but that can wait! We got our own tower to erect, and it's got a SLIDE, lads! Get your shopping list and start promoting... we've got a show to put on!

INVESTIGATE the odd building that can't possibly exist here, yet does! SPEAK with the doe-eyed buxom mayor and avoid looking at her cleavage! PREPARE for another dazzling show in the Swardlands!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet where we ask the Hard Questions like... is it rude to stab someone's walls to test if they're a Mimic?

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Extinction Curse Ep. 28: Shoonies & Shudders Feb 01, 2021

Home on the range! The Wandering Three is taking the wagon trail up to Matten Cleave, a farming town in the Swardlands to put on a good show and look for the elusive Aeon Towers. What amazing sights will they see on the way? Beautiful hills, as far as the eyes can see? Local culture, with their homely ways of life? Unsettling, rotting shacks with an aura of malice that just whispers "I have not left yet" that makes your skin crawl? Oh, maybe some wildlife! As the Circus of Wayward Wonders continues up the Verdant Pass to keep their show on the road, horror meets hilarity as our heroes clown their way through the quaint plains and see what the Swardlands have to offer!

STOP the mighty landsharks from eating the innocent villagers! SHARE the tales of the land on the back of a wagon! CLUTCH your holy relics for protection from the angry evil that just won't move on!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet where we ask the Hard Questions like... what items should you pack for a game of fantasy Phasmaphobia?

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Extinction Curse Ep. 27: Big Tops & Bull-Men Jan 25, 2021

Down to business! The Circus is at the start of their tour of the Swardlands, beginning in Kerrick, a seaside port and a bustling hub of prosperity! But our heroes have their own business to attend to too; namely, the troubling investigation brought to them by the mayor about a certain haunting experience he's been experiencing. But is the truth all there? Is there something he isn't telling us? Is it really a ghost? And why is Eriato so grimly determined to solve this particular case? Whoa, and do we have time to ponder on all this? Our performance is a week away! Let's juggle our mysteries and our mayhem and put on a good show for the good people of Kerrick!

PURSUE the mysterious leads of an intriguing ghost story! NEGOTIATE with the mighty alchemist over a new apprentice! PERFORM your heart out for the town and get the show on the road once more!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet where we ask the Hard Questions like... is it inappropriate to say "bro" in front of a child?

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Extinction Curse Ep. 26: Farmlands & Funerals Jan 18, 2021

ROAD TRIP! The Circus of Wayward Wonders is taking the show on the road, and heading to the Isle of Kortos! The serene Swardlands await them, an idealistic community of towns, farms and plains that look too beautiful to be real. The city of Kerrick awaits with open arms, and the Wandering Three prepare to entertain the masses and seek out the failing Aeon Orbs that once kept this land so bountiful so that they can continue their quest to heal the earth and save the Isle of Kortos! But is all as it seems? Is this arc really just a feel good summer teen movie one? Or is there something awful trailing right behind us, itching, scratching, dizzying, watching, laughing, knowing, following? Are the people here in the Swardlands safe? Are we? Only one way to find out what genre this adventure is, and that's to live it- so pack your bags, and let's get going!

MARVEL over the beautiful views of the Kortos sea! BASK in the awe of your very own fan club! PITY the desperate man and the tale of his haunting experience!

All this and more, in this, the first episode of Extinction Curse Book 3: LIFE'S LONG SHADOW by Greg A. Vaughan, where we ask the hard questions like... is it normal for your nails to grow like claws during puberty?

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Extinction Curse Ep. 25: Catfolk & Curtain Calls Jan 11, 2021

COME ONE, COME ALL, TO THE MOST BEAUTIFUL SPECTACLE ON THIS SIDE OF ABSALOM: MISTRESS DUSKLIGHT'S CELESTIAL MENAGERIE! We have a very special performance for you tonight: the Circus of Washed Up Wonder's Blundering Three have come to pay us a visit! They've slain celestial beauties, they've stolen from babies, they've even made a real mess of one of my favorite performers (Booo!), but the show has only JUST begun! That's right, Escadar: today, the Blundering Three face their doom in the Big Top as divine wonders unlike any their foul eyes have ever lain upon prepare to rip their sinful bodies limb from limb! A boorish, pretentious street sword! A freak-of-nature clown and his freak-of-nature familiar! And our dear Eriato Demonhag, ready to amaze us with her horrific defects once again! I reckon this lot could find a fine home in the sideshow here, eugh! But that's not our goal here tonight... our goal is to see them DIE! Grab your popcorn, and let's show these wastes what happens when you challenge the great and powerful Mistress Dusklight!

LAUGH at the pathetic swashbuckler's feeble attempts at heroism! MOCK the inept clown as they fight for their life against divine wonders of my own creation! SCHEME over the recapture of your wayward daughter and lock her up in the freakshow all over again!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet where we ask the Hard Questions like... why bother fight me, when you clearly don't stand a chance, Washed Up Wonders?!

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Extinction Curse Ep. 24: Mazes & Moon Moles Jan 04, 2021

Enter the Heavenly Gallery, where angels sing and sublime spectacles like no other will shock your very soul! Closing in on the wicked catfolk ringmaster who's kidnapped their friend, the Wandering Three now make their way through a labyrinth of weird and wonderful obstacles from the Celestial Menagerie! Clowns as big as houses? Fortune-telling dummies? Lions, tigers & bears? Oh my! The clock is ticking for Axel and his Amazing Aviary, and if our heroes don't hurry... it's curtain call for everyone!

NAVIGATE the perilous traps of the Heavenly Gallery! SEE through the wicked deceptions of evil foes! CLOSE IN on the enemy at last and prepare for the final showdown!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet where we ask the Hard Questions like... is it ethical to use a baby alien for a money laundering scheme?

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Extinction Curse Ep. 23: Rescues & Revelry Dec 28, 2020

We're here to save our friend! Wait, you want to be rescued too? Jeez, you're the 4th person today who's asked us to do that! What the hell is going on, why do so many people here need to be saved? Could it be that this evil circus run by a sadistic catwoman and her greedy minions will hurt anyone they come into contact with? How horrible! Hot on the tail of Mistress Dusklight, our heroes are encountering more and more of those used and abused by the Celestial Menagerie as they try to rescue their dear friend Axel. Guess we'll be adding a tonne of people to our found family trope! One way or another, though, buckle up- this rescue mission has only just started!

SPIN the Hallowed Wheel and brave its magical tricks! ENTER the Sanctum of Sublime Spectacles and gaze upon its freakish inhabitants! STRUGGLE against the titanic megafauna and its brutish master!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet where we ask the Hard Questions like... is it okay to trust a blatantly fake angel if they're like, sexy?

Additional Music by Robert Austin Music

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Extinction Curse Ep. 22: Satyrs & Sensations Dec 21, 2020

Justice has been done! With evidence against their capricious former employer, the Circus of Wayward Wonders now can live contently knowing that Mistress Dusklight is to be put behind bars for her crimes, and her Celestial Menagerie to be shut down for good. At last, the Wandering Three can put the past behind them, grow as people and save the world alongside the Greatest Show on All Of Golarion! But will it be that simple? Can such a horrible part of the past stay there? Or is something much bigger, much grander and much more terrifyingly dangerous just around the corner? Only one way to find out, dear listeners... tune in and listen to our journey today!

WITNESS the court of worms and hear their commands! SHOP til you drop in the beautiful seaside port! FACE your fears in the twisted wonderland you once called home!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet where we ask the Hard Questions like... do fox girls naturally ara, or do they have to be trained to do it?

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Extinction Curse Ep. 21: Chronicles & Crusaders Dec 17, 2020

The past is riddled with secrets long forgotten to man. You are just the latest in a line of countless lives that were more or less like yours, and so is everyone in the world. But you're probably the first one to be a clown elf with magic powers from god that has to fight dinosaur people. Yeah, that's most likely a first. The Wandering Three continue their excursion through Moonstone Hall, seeking out the final Xulgath Demon-Caller and the truth as to why the Xulgath even came here in the first place. But looking through the annals of time has a heavy burden... one that's enough to crush the souls of any one adventurer alone. So remember the gold rule: don't split the party!

STUDY the discarded books left strangely behind by a friend! PROTECT the crypts of the long dead clergy! GAZE into the mysterious past and find what answers are hidden from you there!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet where we ask the Hard Questions like... okay, you don't SERIOUSLY expect us to take all of THOSE out, right??

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Extinction Curse Ep. 20: Ghosts & Grails Dec 07, 2020

The dead just won't stay dead, lately. First, wicked dinosaur folk make their way from the bowels of the Earth, bringing bloody extinction with them. Then, the legacy of a dead god slowly comes back to haunt those who outlived him. Now there's LITERALLY a ghostly priest of the aforementioned dead god is literally following the party around and nagging them. Jeez, how much more on the nose can you get? As our heroes explore Moonstone Hall searching for answers as to why the Xulgath are here and why their former employer is making deals with them, strange secrets and long forgotten history arise to give them some perspective. But first... we've got a pterodactyl demon to kill! Let's go!

STUDY the ancient texts locked deep underground! GRIMACE at the gruesome scenes of sacrifice and slaughter! BATTLE against a titanic monster kept here to protect diabolic relics!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet where we ask the Hard Questions like... what happens when a demon loses its will to hurt?

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Extinction Curse Ep. 19: Priests & Poltergeists Nov 30, 2020

Back in my day, people used to do things RIGHT! They built GLORIOUS churches to the God of Mankind, and spent all their free time praying to him! Nowadays, they just say that he's dead, and let old forgotten bastions of his faith fall into obscurity and become a hiding place for troglodyte demon-cultists! The nerve! Have they no respect for their history? The Wandering Three have befriended a quasit, and now seek to cleanse the Temple of the Dead God, knowing that for some reason the Xulgath that stormed the Erran Tower back in Abberton set this place up as their base of operations a while ago. But why? There's only one way to find out- and that's delving deeper into the cracks of the past and seeking whatever answers they might find!

SLAY the profane demon-callers and their fanatic minions! EXPLORE the tunnels that lie beneath the city! PARLAY with the restless occupants who have not moved past an ancient, horrible event!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet where we ask the Hard Questions like... is it okay to find a giant sweaty dinosaur wrestling clown hot?

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Extinction Curse Ep. 18: Temples & Twirls Nov 24, 2020

The best way to ignore a problem is to put it away. So how do you ignore the death of the God your nation was sworn to worship? You put it away. Beneath the city of Escadar lies a sprawling undercity of temples and churches of Aroden long since abandoned- and it's here that our heroes have come in search of answers. Why did the Xulgath come to the farming town of Abberton? What was their interest in the Aeon Orb? Wh- hey, what's that smell. What? The Xulgath are here, too?! Aw, come on! We thought we'd seen the last of those guys! What the hell! This is bullshit! Ugh. Fine... I guess we can keep killing dinosaur people who worship demons for a little while longer. Grab your hammer and go silly mode- it's about to get primeval in here!

RECOIL from the saurian blood demon and its wicked fangs! SPY on the xulgath and their treacherous meetings! LEARN of the troglodyte's wicked companion!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet where we ask the Hard Questions like... is it cool to adopt the damned souls of the vile if they're like, cute?

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Behind the Rolls: Dice Will Roll x Beadle & Grimm Special! Nov 22, 2020

BEHOLD, TRAVELERS! A BOOK THAT CONTAINS YOUR ENTIRE LIFE'S STORY! FROM LEVEL 1 TO LEVEL 20, THIS JOURNAL TELLS TALES OF YOUR ADVENTURES AS YOU GROW IN POWER AND- hey, this sounds a LOT like the book of Kingmaker from season 1. That's a funny coincidence, isn't i- IS THAT MATTHEW LILLARD FROM SCOOBY DOO?! There's a LOT going on in this very special crossover episode, everyone. Like, a LOT. AGAIN: HOLY SHIT, IS THAT MATTHEW LILLARD FROM SCREAM, GOOD GIRLS, ETC. LIKE, THE ACTUAL MATTHEW LILLARD. THAT ONE'S NOT A BIT. So join us in our tale of dungeons, dragons, and the cast being EXTREMELY starstruck throughout this whole interview. It's genuinely something else.--- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/dice-will-roll/support Get extra loot on our Patreon!

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Extinction Curse Ep. 17: Paladins & Prophecies Nov 16, 2020

Destiny awaits! You are the chosen one! Follow your fate! God, could you get more cliche? The Wandering Three are looking for Moonstone Temple in order to follow up on some loose ends left in Abberton, and to do so, they need to go to some people who know the past better than anyone else: really, really old folk. It's a blast from the past as Royari meets up with the Order of Saint Sarnax, the very people who raised them as a child. What secrets are they hiding? What does Royari know, and what does she not know about them? And for goodness sake, can these old swordmages please stop talking like Eriato & Volio know what they're harping on about? It's getting like, super irritating!

PERUSE the ancient lore of the past and its shocking revelations! RELIVE the past of the heroic constable's finest moment! DESCEND into the underground and dig up history with your own hands!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet where we ask the Hard Questions like... is this like, an Avatar type situation, or what?

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Extinction Curse Ep. 16: Shimmers & Showstoppers Nov 09, 2020

It's time for some downtime! Our heroes have a week to prepare for one of the most important nights of their lives: the Opening Night of the Circus of Wayward Wonders and their show in Escadar! Rivals lurk, and monsters prowl... and all the while, the circus has to practice, advertise and sell tickets! Clear the monsters from the Southern Swamp? Research the grim secrets surrounding the Xulgath? Put up fliers? Have an 80s themed workout montage? How are we going to fit all that in one week? And can we do all of it and still put on a successful show? There's only one way to find out- let's get right to it!

SEE the lights on the edge of the camp as they beckon you into darkness! GASP at the fantastic performances and their new heights! LISTEN to the strange, smoking calliope and its weird music!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet where we ask the Hard Questions like... fellas, is it gay to get swallowed up by a sinkhole?

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Extinction Curse Ep. 15: Warts & Wolves Nov 02, 2020

Who doesn't love a good camping trip? Out in the wilds, fires burning, friends all around... it's a real dream come true! Or is it a nightmare for the Circus of Wayward Wonders, when they realize they aren't the only ones out here? Beasts prowl the woods around the land given to the circus to put on a show outside of Escadar, and it isn't exactly safe out here at night. It's up to our clowny companions to drive out the terror that stalk the night and prepare for the Greatest Show on all of Golarion!

GUSH at the incredible artist dog and his many skills! EXPLORE the creepy cave that may once have been someone's home! BARGAIN with an awful creature that could spell certain doom to your companions!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, where we ask the Hard Questions like... is that a normal halo thing, or..?

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Halloween Special 2020: Mysteries & Mosquitoes Oct 31, 2020

50 years ago, something horrible came to the sleepy town of Shimmerford. With glowing red eye, six long, handles arms and buzzing, mosquito like wings, a creepy cryptid known today only as The Mosquito Witch brought with her dread and panic that rocked the little village. But soon, fear turned to curiosity, and the townsfolk started celebrating her as a folk story, bringing in monster hunters from around the River Kingdoms to seek her out and, while they're at it, stop by at the yearly Mosquito Witch festival, eat some witchbread and put on some fancy mosquito masks. Thankfully, the Mosquito Witch doesn't really exist... right? Only one group of adventurers from the fledgling Barony of Kilcela, fresh from their duel with The Stag Lord will be able to prove it once and for all in this very spooky Halloween special!

Boats get ridden. Woods get explored. Horrors get uncovered.

All this and more in this creepy crawly episode of Dice Will Roll, the gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the hard questions like... Who's afraid of the Big Bad Bug Lady?

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Extinction Curse Ep. 14: Ports & Pickpockets Oct 26, 2020

We're taking the show to the Big City! After battling Dinosaur People and receiving divine powers from a Dead God back in Abberton, the Wandering Three is leading the Circus of Wayward Wonders back to their home town of Escadar. Here, sea salt can be smelt in the air, pavement and cobblestone lie underfoot and wicked crooks lurk around every corner. History absolutely has its eyes on you here, where the Circus' rivals, Mistress Dusklight's Celestial Menagerie, lie waiting to punish you for daring break away from their fold. Can our heroes beat the Menagerie at their own game in their own town? Or will- hey. HEY! WHO TOOK MY COIN PURSE? ARGH!

STUDY the ancient dinosaur eggs and their nefarious implications! FISH up a huge sea bass and impress your friends! RELAY your secret past, shrouded in mystery and rumor!

All this and more in the first episode of Extinction Curse Book 2: LEGACY OF THE LOST GOD, where we ask the Hard Questions like... is it cool to whip out some party tricks in an office of law?

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Extinction Curse Ep. 13: Godlings & Glory Oct 19, 2020

A star rotates the peak of the Erran Tower, and our heroes- Royari San Sarnax, Volio Via and Eriato Bati- face off against a gruesomely scarred xulgath bearing demonic runes carved into his flesh and a massive stone hammer. The faith of their home lies within this battle; should they fail, the primeval troglodytes will destroy the life-giving Aeon Orb left to us by a dead god, dooming the Isle of Erran to extinction. So like, the stakes are pretty high. What did we come to Abberton for again? Let me just check my notes... ah, right, to act in the circus. Hmmm. We've solved murder mysteries, killed marauding boars, defended churches from fiends, dismantled druid cults and fought actual dinosaurs since we got here to do that, which was... ah, a week ago! Nice! Well, everyone... no point in questioning fate. Embrace it, and take a stand, because no matter what, the show must go on!

CLASH with the fiendish xulgath warpriest from deep underground and save your home from certain doom! TOWER over the crowds as you put on a show like no other in this world! FEEL the touch of destiny as it pulls you into its arms, leaving you changed and empowered once and for all!

All this and more in the finale of BOOK 1 OF EXTINCTION CURSE: THE SHOW MUST GO ON, where we ask the hard questions like... are you sure you want to be giving all this responsibility and power to a troupe of performers?

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Extinction Curse Ep. 12: Scales & Succubi Oct 12, 2020

LOOK OUT, WANDERING THREE! HOTTED BOOBS UP AHEAD! TITS, BIG ONES! The seductress behind the slaughter has revealed herself, and slowly the conspiracy behind the murder of the Circus of Wayward Wonder's ringmaster is revealed. Murderous druids, demon cults, dinosaur people... we just wanted to put a show on, man! But now as our heroes fight for the fate of the Isle of Erran, one thing is abundantly clear... a clown's duty isn't just to do sick tumbles and throw pies at people. It's to ward off foul fiends, defeat lurching horrors and save everyone they know from certain extinction! And also, to do sick tumbles, that's super important!

PEER beyond the veil and see the fiery visions of the apocalypse that dance around every corner! SHRIEK at the hidden horror masked by the floorbound runes! CHALLENGE the wicked priest that wishes to snuff out all life to your home and save the day, once and for all!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet where we ask the Hard Questions like... going in for a hug mid-fight is pretty weird, right?!

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Extinction Curse Ep. 11: Troglodytes & Time Warps Oct 05, 2020

CLOWNS VERSUS DINOSAURS! The Circus of Wayward Wonders encounters their new great foe; the treasonous troglodytes, the ancient dinosaur-like cave-dwellers known as the Xulgath. But what is their goal in the Erran Tower? What does a bunch of devolved lizards care about with a monument to a dead god? Get outta here, dinosaurs! This is a CIRCUS campaign! That's why it's called Extinction Cu- oh, no. Ohhhhh, noooo... oh, that's not good at all. Oh, no no no. Well, looks like we've only got one option, everyone! It's them or us- will these ancient creeps be sent packing? Or has the reign of the clown come to a calamitous end?

MARVEL at the temporally spasming troglodyte as it flickers through timespace! TASTE the deliciously sugary moss as it grows from the walls! FACE the dreaded foe who has plagued you from the shadows for far too long!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... can love bloom, even in prehistoric times?

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Extinction Curse Ep. 10: Fossils & Fields Sep 28, 2020

Climb the tower, save the world! The Wandering Three have found a grave secret about the Island of Erran, and it's up to them to investigate further to prevent the lands from slowly draining in vitality! The ancient tower left by the dead god keeps countless secrets inside it... but who are its new denizens? What secrets do THEY hide? What role did they have in the demons that have been plaguing the sleepy town of Abberton? And for the love of the gods, what is that AWFUL smell? It's right out of the hermit cult pot and into the mysterious monstrous flames as our heroes uncover an ancient secret that has dire consequences on their circus... after all, if the life force of their home just fades away, who's going to buy tickets from the circus?!

RIDE on the whimsical wagon ride pulled by wondrous toads of impressive sizes! SEE the possessed criminal slowly realize the consequences of their actions! FACE the deadly foes of a bygone era as they emerge as one to face against the circus and bring ruin to the world!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, where we ask the Hard Questions like... how does one improve their social standing with slurks?

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Extinction Curse Ep. 9: Half-Fiends & Hellraisers Sep 21, 2020

GHOULS!! The Wandering Three have found themselves in a crypt full of cannibalistic undead intent on feasting on their flesh! They didn't sign up for this! They signed up to find the last demon in the Hermitage of Blessed Lightning, so they could enter the main temple and take on the wicked priestess who started this whole debacle, and there's NO sign of-- ohhhh, the last demon is probably one of these GHOULS, huh..? Rats. Well, Wanderers, you're on your own. Have fun with the living dead, I suppose! And good luck... you're going to really, really need it when you find out what's caused all of this.

SCRAP with the final evolution of the ghoulish ghasts and its' dreadful gaze! DUEL against the terrifying storm queen of the demon cult! LEARN the awful truth that threatens the Isle of Kortos!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, where we ask the Hard Questions like... are clowns really qualified to save the world?

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Extinction Curse Ep. 8: Demons & Druids Sep 14, 2020

Raze the lands and grow daisies from the ashes! That's the plan of the cabal of diabolists that our heroes find themselves up against! Infiltrating the Hermitage of Blessed Lightning, the Wandering Three must cleanse this once holy place of abyssal influence if they want to rescue its former leader and stop whatever's going on here... but man, are there a lot of unanswered questions! What's with the ghouls? What are the cultists "trading" sacrifices for? And who's the mysterious, beautiful woman who started all of this in the first place? Our heroes' questions have many prongs (get it? Cuz the cultists use tridents? Get it?) but one thing's for sure... if we wanna save this place, we're gonna have to get some answers!

LAUGH at the petty squabbling of spiteful demons straight from the Abyss! RETCH at the horrifying rituals performed by the cultists! DESCEND into the ghastly crypt of the hermits and see what lies within!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, where we ask the Hard Questions like... you can still be a big, cool adventurer if you're afraid of the dark, right?

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Extinction Curse Ep. 7: Sanctums & Slurks Sep 07, 2020

Ah yes, the famed destination of many a circus throughout history: a hermitage filled with demon-worshiping nature cultists! The Wandering Three have uncovered the unsettling truth about the nature of the Hermitage of Blessed Lightning, and need to race to their cliff-side hideout to rescue the hapless mayor who went to investigate them. This is all kind of a lot to put on the shoulders of some traveling entertainers though, right? We just wanted to like, juggle and do sweep flips... surely, once this is out of the way, we can just go back to our normal lives, right? Right! So let's save the mayor and be done with it!

MUSE upon the works of the Dead God and his incredible architecture! GASP at the strange events heralded in by magic gone awry! CLENCH the finely crafted weapon you just stole from some cultist dude!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, where we ask the Hard Questions like... is it weird for God to contact me through a mosaic fish?

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Extinction Curse Ep. 6: Rivals & Runes Aug 31, 2020

ANOTHER circus has come to town?! What the hell! That's bull! What? Boo! Get out of here, you clowns! And not the good type of clowns, like us! The bad type of clowns, like Republicans! Former friends and present foes have shown up on the streets of Abberton, laying claim to the turf that the Circus of Wayward Wonders has already rightfully claimed! But is now really the best time? We're kind of in the middle of investigating a missing persons report or two, and we really don't have a tonne of time to... ah, to hell with it. This town ain't big enough for the two of us, and you're going DOWN, Jellicho Boing-Boing! It's time for a clown off!

BEHOLD the dazzling street performances of wayward delights! CREEP through the undergrowth on your daring investigations! UNCOVER the awful truth that underlies the mysteries at hand!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, where we ask the Hard Questions like... what kind of stuff should go in a sandwich to maximize its healing potential?

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Extinction Curse Ep. 5: Taverns & Troupes Aug 24, 2020

There's definitely something going on in this town! As the Wandering Three continue their investigation into Abberton, more and more weird stuff keeps coming up. Animals don't usually just run wild like this. Cemeteries don't tend to be demon infested. And now you're telling me that the suspicious number of missing persons aren't just people skipping town? For their next trick, the mystery solving circus will visit seedy bars, check out some sweet deals, and check out who on earth's causing such a fuss in the streets, dressed so brightly and shouting so loudly! Hope you've paid your tab... we're about to split the party, everyone!

VANQUISH the dreaded Worm-Demons! INTERROGATE the hay sandwich eating thug! SNARL at the familiar faces you really didn't want to see!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... it's not morally wrong to flirt your way into selling junk at an unreasonable price, is it?

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Extinction Curse Ep. 4: Vandals & Vermleks Aug 17, 2020

Oh boy, I love going to church! Circuses and churches go hand in hand together, right? Yeah. Yeah! The Wandering Three are checking out some of the weird happenings in the sleepy town of Abberton, from murderous druids to rampaging boars... and apparently, there's a weird smell coming from the local bank-church! That sounds promising! Nothing bad has EVER happened in a church. Weird smells, creepy gravediggers and a load of crashing noises... yup, just normal church stuff all around! Bless yourself and get ready to say your prayers, everyone... it's time to put on your Sunday Best and see what's happening in the Church of Goldenlaws!

BEHOLD the amazing translations of the mysterious woman! TASTE the delicious potions during your time of need! RECOIL at the horrific monsters you'll find on your journey!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... how can I tell if someone's been infected by a horrific parasitic entity, or if they just haven't had a cup of mornin' joe yet?

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Extinction Curse Ep. 3: Bargains & Boars Aug 10, 2020

You have to be pretty desperate to turn to the circus to solve your problems, right? But these seem to be some pretty desperate circumstances indeed! Riding the wave of success from bringing justice to the crimes committed against them, The Circus of Wayward Wonders has even more trouble on their plate when the town hears about their skills and turns to them for help. Missing people? Weird weather? Pigs running amuck?! SHOPPING LISTS? Only one group of people have the talents needed to set things right... traveling performers in tight pants and greasepaint! Now, let's see who the real clowns are... the entertainers, or the people trusting them to help fix their woes?

GAZE into the flames of prophecy that show horrid visions from beyond the beyond! LISTEN to the tragic tale of the poor man and his beloved, poor town! PERUSE the wondrous items of all manners of magic and mundane use!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the Hard Questions like... is it unethical to play golf with living creatures as the golf ball?

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Extinction Curse Ep. 2: Mice & Music Aug 03, 2020

The show might have ended, but the adventure has only just started! Hot off the tails of a successful show, the Circus of Wayward Wonders now has a new task ahead of them: a murder investigation! Someone tried very hard to ruin the circus performance with lethal consequences, and now the Wandering Three must grab their comically oversized magnifying glasses and crack the case! Who had rats gnaw through the nets? Who unleashed snakes into the stands? And most importantly... who killed our beloved Ringleader? With all these questions floating in the air, only one thing is clear, gang... we've another mystery on our hands!

WATCH the circus investigate a cold-blooded murder! DODGE the cruel traps around the camp! OBSERVE as terrifying secrets slowly unveil themselves!

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, where we ask the Hard Questions like... is it normal for my weird familiar to sing when we find a corpse?

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Extinction Curse Ep. 1: Carnivals & Clowns Jul 30, 2020

ROLL UP! ROLL UP! Come one, come all, and see the greatest show on all of Golarion! The Circus of Wayward Wonders has come to town, ready to put on the show of a lifetime and leave behind their turmoil and bring mirth and glee to the hearts of those who see them perform. But as our motley crew of performers, travelers and adventurers get ready for the big show, tragedy strikes... and it becomes apparent that something terrible is afoot. But whoever it is that opposes our heroes, the Wandering Three, they're clearly forgetting that no matter what... The Show Must Go On! Put on your grease paint, tie your shoes, and get ready... the spotlight is on you!

WATCH the clown and his unnerving contortionism! GASP as the fortune teller pulls visions of prosperity from the jaws of the Abyss! MARVEL at the daring stunts of the swordfighter!

All this and more in this, the first episode of Dice Will Roll's Extinction Curse campaign with Book 1: The Show Must Go on, where we ask the Hard Questions like... is it cool to beat up a drunkard if he's messing up your show?

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Doomsday Dawn Ep. 5: Stars & Strangers Jul 10, 2020

Gross!! Our heroes face off against more than they bargained for in the depths of the Ashen Ossuary. They were prepared for a Hobgoblin, maybe even a Vampire... but this thing isn't either of those! And somehow, the horrific creature they're up against is the least of their worries... is there more going on than meets the eye? Probably, but all our audio was wiped in a Harddrive Crash after this, so YOU'LL never know! Myahahahaha!

Nips get shot. Books get read. Secrets get uncovered.

All this and more as we wrap up the first (and last!) chapter of Dice Will Roll's Doomsday Dawn miniseries, where we ask the hard questions like... am I too young to join a worldwide secret society?!

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Doomsday Dawn Ep. 4: Statues & Sand Jul 09, 2020

What's a good dungeon without a good trap? Traps make the dungeon. And if there's no traps, it's not a dungeon-- it's just a big basement. But there ARE traps in this dungeon, so it isn't a basement at all. What were we talking about, again? Oh, right! Hey, our adventurers are still going through a dungeon. That's what this episode is about! Hopefully there's no terrifying revelations or stuff, that would really ruin this whole experience.

Old Friends get met. Heals get requested. Horrors get revealed.

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the planet, where we ask the hard questions like... it's cool to murder your ex-boss if he's an evil murderer, right?

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Doomsday Dawn Ep. 3: Quasits & Queers Jul 08, 2020

Damn, Dice Will Roll, back at it again with the Doomsday Dawn miniseries! Remastered and rereleased, our heroes venture deeper into the Ashen Ossuary, making some new discoveries and some frankly chilling secrets along the way! Whatever the problem is with this goblin tunnel... it's starting to look less and less like a vampire. And that's not necessarily a good thing!

Necks get inspected. Idols get touched. Spell slots get run out.

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the planet, where we ask the hard questions like... is it a weird flex to turn into a wolf mid fight for no real reason?

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Doomsday Dawn Ep. 2: Slimes & Sewers Jul 07, 2020

It's the second episode of our rerelease of a remastered Pathfinder Playtest, recorded two years ago... and now, we're actually playing Pathinder instead of talking to NPCs! Exciting, right? Our heroes make their way into the Ashen Ossuary beneath the house of a beleaguered noblewoman in search of a stolen artifact... to stop a vampire hobgoblin, or something? I guess? Goblins don't tend to be very reliable narrators, so... whatever, raise your shield and prepare a spell... we're about to get grimy!

Sewers get traveled. Dice get hexed. Naps get taken.

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the planet, where we ask the hard questions like... how do you politely critique a goblin's art?

Discord: discord.gg/rDhQuVq

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Doomsday Dawn Ep. 1: Playtests & Peril Jul 06, 2020

Blast from the past! In this very special Dice Will Roll miniseries, we're going back to where the show all began: Doomsday Dawn, an adventure made to playtest Pathfinder 2nd Edition while it was still brand new. Follow the gang as we play the system for the first time with a gallery of unlikely heroes delving into a mysterious tunnel pit beneath the home of a noblewoman in the city of Manigmar. Did we mention there's a tonne of goblins? Yeah, now you're interested.

Creeps get rebuffed. Boxes get unlocked. Adventures get started.

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the hard questions like... how many goblins can we fit into a box?

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Kingmaker Retrospective Jun 24, 2020

And they all lived happily ever after. A retrospective, recorded moments after the final episode of Kingmaker. Join us as we cry, think back to how Kingmaker all began, and look to the future for what comes next in Dice Will Roll: Season 2. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/appSupport this podcast: https://anchor.fm/dice-will-roll/support Get extra loot on our Patreon!

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Kingmaker Ep. 80: Faerie Queens & Forever Afters Jun 22, 2020

Once upon a time, there was a wicked queen who lived in a castle deep in the woods. The queen had looked into her future, and there she saw that one day, three heroes would smite her down with a blade made of her own heart. She rose in defiance of her story, and tried fight it, but time and time again, her actions only furthered the tale. Now, with the three heroes she helped to create facing her in her own throne room, the wicked queen now must erase them from their tale and keep herself the true hero of the story by setting them against her righteous, primal magic and the shadows of their own past. The final duel between the Green Lady and the Kingmakers is at hand... and when this book ends, will it have a happy ending? Or will the wicked queen win, teaching the world the true meaning of a cautionary tale?

Spells get cast. Necks get chopped. Books get closed.

All this and more in the final episode of Dice Will Roll: Kingmaker, where we ask the hard questions like... what's the most comfortable way to hug a wolf?

Special thank you to RigorMortis999 for his Piano Renditions of Kingmaker's Main Theme & Skylark.

Discord: discord.gg/rDhQuVq

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Pride Flag One-Shot: Shrieks & Shivers Jun 19, 2020

SING FOR ME, MY ANGEL OF MUSIC! In the mist-choked lands of Ustalav, shadows hide unknowable secrets and bumps in the night are rarely coincidences. But when the going gets too spooky to handle... everyone needs a hero to call upon. And who ya gonna call?! In a very special one-shot for Pride Week 2020, in association with Prism Pals and their Pride Flag series, join Dice Will Roll as we take on the mantles of the first Pathfinder Party we ever played! Listen as Angelo Lorrimor the Paladin, Arseris Vyldiane the Alchemist and Voltaire Lafayette the sorcerer tell a tale beyond the Carrion Crown Adventure Path and have a Level 20 adventure like no other in Karcau, the Village of Voices! And watch out... there may or may not be phantoms in this opera!

Skeletons get smashed. Ovations get given. Crypts get explored.

All this and more in this special episode of Dice Will Roll, where we ask the hard questions like... how much could an autographed piece of merch go for if it was signed by a ghost?

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"LGBTQ" is by Lizz Sooy

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Kingmaker Ep. 79: Unicorns & Utopias Jun 15, 2020

Face the fury of the first world! One final opponent stands between the Kingmakers and finally challenging the Green Lady herself- Phomandala, the Wicked Jabbermedusa! Also, two Tane! You know, those powerful fey godlings that practically change the world around them to be like the First World? Like a Jabberwock, but not quite! Actually, Phomandala is like a Jabberwock, but not quite, too... what's with all these bootleg Jabberwocks, huh? Why does Nyrissa have all of these? And more importantly... what else does Nyrissa hide on the final floor of her dungeon? What secrets is she keeping? What lies have been hidden until now? And how will the Kingmakers fare against her ultimate weapon... the Fable?

Bears get defenestrated. Horns get taken. Stairs get climbed.

All this and more in the penultimate episode of Dice Will Roll: Kingmaker, where we ask the hard questions like... how do you tell a haunted sword you're just not that into him?

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Kingmaker Ep. 78: Angels & Anguish Jun 08, 2020

SHE KILLED A MEPHIT! NOW SHE'S GONE TOO FAR! The Kingmakers continue their exploration of the sprawling mansion of the House at the Edge of Time, seeking out the Green Lady so they can put an end to her reign of terror once and for all! But her cruelty is truly greater than any of our heroes could have accounted for, and each new room they explore while seeking her out brings only new insights into the levels of her villainy. Dead occultists made of worms? Horrific, mutated medusas? Unabashed torture and cruelty? MEPHIT MURDER? The Kingmakers must steel their guts for this dungeon, gang... because in the House at the Edge of Time, everyone's crying- because here, Angels deserve to die!

Wishes get cast. Worms get hugged. Horrors get revealed.

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the hard questions like... what's the best way to pull a Lennie Mice & Men on a dryad?

DONATE TO...

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Kingmaker Ep. 77: Mansions & Mephits Jun 01, 2020

ENTER THE FINAL DUNGEON! A House on the Edge of Time looms before the Kingmakers. Filled with wicked fey magic, tragic tales and a flow of time that just doesn't seem to work right, the throne of Nyrissa, the Green Lady, is finally upon our heroes. Faced against the most powerful Fey Queen the Stolen Lands- and maybe the world?- has ever seen, our heroes are filled with fear and tension as they prepare to enter her domain. Just kidding! These guys killed a lich once! A nymph? Pffft! This'll be easy, surely! One last dungeon crawl stands between them and their Forever After. Cast a protective ward, ready your wolves... and start sprinting! We've a Final Boss to beat!

Lasers get blasted. Memories get relived. Clothes get washed.

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the hard questions like... how do you properly eject a stuffed animal from a time loop?

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Kingmaker Ep. 76: Towers & Terrors May 25, 2020

Every time you read a book, there comes a point where you realise you are running out of pages. Will the story be able to end itself with all it has left? It leaves you on the edge of your seat, ready to see the conclusion. And then, sometimes, the last few pages get torn out by a ferocious guardian creature intent on stopping you from finishing the book! Facing off against the pit from which their most deadly foe was once spawned, the Kingmakers must fight and overcome the final monsters which stop entry into the palace of the Green Lady so that they may once and for all end her reign of terror. Can our heroes overcome all odds and defeat the wicked entourage of foes that await them? Or will their story run out of pages? Keep your bookmarks at the ready- we're about to find out!

Punches get thrown. Skeletons get razed. Cards get investigated.

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the hard questions like... why is the GM describing a seemingly innocent object in such great detail?!

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Kingmaker Ep. 75: Worms & Witches May 18, 2020

Don't split the party! The frantic advise of many a gamer. But what do you do when the party is split against your wishes? Our heroes are spread through the Thousandbreaths thanks to the nefarious actions of the wicked Nightmare Rook, and now our heroes find themselves split up- with Alden and Ichor facing down the freaky Coagulated Worm Oozes of the Mire, and Kaska alone against the Nightmare Rook itself... will the Kingmakers be able to take down such terrifying threats on their own? Or, divided, are they nothing? Hold on tight- it's about to get messy!

Holes get fallen into. Paths get walked. Tea gets drank.

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the hard questions like... how do you politely tell your druid that she's maybe getting a little TOO into terrifying the fear monster?

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Kingmaker Ep. 74: Frights & Frost Giants May 11, 2020

The First World- a plane of overwhelming positive energy, where life sprouts and grows in weird and wild ways. The home of the Fey... and now, the latest stomping ground of the Kingmakers. As our heroes search the untamed wilds for their longtime foe, they must overcome terrible tasks- from giant, pulsing fungus giants, to shadowy ice priests, to unrelenting nightmares... and who knows what the Paths of Peril which line the cursed woods of the Thousandbreaths have in store for our adventurers? It's a brave new world out there... one that the Kingmakers are dead set on mapping!

Heads get chopped. Trees get snacked on. Parties get split.

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the hard questions like... is it safe to fall asleep in a Will-O-Wisp's garden?

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Kingmaker Ep. 73: Glades & Goodbyes May 04, 2020

Every story has a beginning, middle and end... and this one approaches its end. After successfully protecting their kingdom from the interdimensional scourge of the Season of Bloom, the Kingmakers can finally move onto the offence, bringing their fight to the dreaded Green Lady themselves! But with a Fey Queen, that can only mean one thing... leaving their world behind and following her into the First World, the plane of the faeries. But with deadly challenges lying in wait, one question rests on the shoulders of our heroes... will they ever return to Kilcela? Or will they remain in the forest of the Thousandbreaths... forever after?

Tattoos get given. So longs get said. Portals get entered.

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the hard questions like... how do you best prepare calamari made from a Kraken?

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Kingmaker Ep. 72: Jinxes & Jabberwocks Apr 27, 2020

BEWARE THE JABBERWOCK, MY SON! THE JAWS THAT BITE! THE CLAWS THAT CATCH! The Season of Bloom is ending... but not before one last legendary fight against one of the most fearsome foes of the First World... the Jabberwock! This monstrous Tane has only rarely had survivors to its monstrous rampages, and it's headed directly for Levet's Crossing; the same place the Kingmakers started their journey through the Stolen Lands five years ago now. Can the Kingmakers protect the town and its people from this mythical monster and get them to safety? Or will the town fall to the eyes of flame of this demonic dragon? Take your vorpal blade in hand, and get snicker-snacking... it's a final showdown, and the safety of Kilcela relies on our three heroes winning!

Stories get told. Stews get interrupted. Swords get tossed.

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the hard questions like... how high a jump is TOO high a jump?

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Kingmaker Ep. 71: Dragons & Doomsdays Apr 20, 2020

There comes a time in every adventurer's life that they must take their sword and live out the fantasy of every legendary hero... slay a dragon! And while all this is well and good... isn't the task before the Kingmakers today a little much? After getting a distress call from the Nomen Centaurs of Varnhold, the Kingmakers must travel to the other side of the country to face down a mighty foe. But are they prepared for their true quest today? Can our heroes overcome this mythic challenge and go down in history? Or is today the day they die a heroic death at the hands of the most iconic of all foes? Hold your breath and raise your shield- we're going on a dragon hunt!

Swords get polished. Food gets delivered. Hoards get pilfered.

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the hard questions like... is this kind of challenge a hint that the DM's been slighted in some way?!

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Kingmaker Ep. 70: Gardens & Goblins Apr 15, 2020

Boom! Boom! The Season of the Bloom is starting to draw close to the end, and our heroes have finally awoken their most powerful weapon yet. Nothing can stop the Kingmakers now! But the fight is far from over yet; as much research as they do to try to prepare, there's little they can do but wait as the final Blooms begin to grow. And when a mysterious door appears in the middle of the royal library... well, there's not much else you can do but follow it, and see where it goes, is there? Grab your daughter swords, gang, and climb through the doorway- we've a garden to preen!

Folklore gets studied. Doors get opened. Fires get started.

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the hard questions like... can a faerie dragon be a nihilist if its whole existence depends on it being happy?

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Kingmaker Ep. 68: Mires & Mysteries Mar 30, 2020

Please, can we have just one day to relax? The Season of Bloom marches forward, bringing with it new weirdness that alters reality as we know it. Fresh out of the Frozen Bloom, our heroes have a few questions they want to ask- who is the mysterious Fae Count they've found stories of, and what does he have to do with the wicked Dryad Queen, the Green Lady? Hopefully there won't be any wacky adventures to distract them in their quest to- hold on, I've just been handed a card. Um... yeah, okay. It says here the swamp just got turned into a watercolour painting and there's something rippling just beneath the surface. Okay. Cool. Well, I suppose the Count can wait- we've a bog to save, everyone!

Acid gets fallen into. Twigs get given. Legends get recited.

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the hard questions like... is it cute or super freaky if your pet wolf figures out how to open up doors and get meat out of the cupboard himself?

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Kingmaker Ep. 67: Graves & Goliaths Mar 23, 2020

If knowing is half the battle, then how come nerds have so much trouble beating barbarians, huh? Our heroes realise there's much more to their fey-world foes than they'd anticipated, and with a trusty book in hand in the form of Zuddiger's Picnic, they head to their local library to do some research. As they learn more about their opponents, new mysteries uncover themselves- who's this mysterious count we're reading about? What has he got to do with the Green Lady? And more pressingly... what's he got to do with the snowstorm billowing out from the mines in the local quarry town?! Pull on your parka; we're going on a journey through the ice and cold!

Walls get climbed. Gaps get leapt. Graves get shattered.

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the hard questions like... how do you fit four frost giants in a cramped up cave?

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Kingmaker Ep. 66: Ravens & Requiems Mar 16, 2020

Oh, thank goodness, it was all merely a dream! And everyone knows dreams are never, ever, ever significant! The city of St. Gilmorg is beset upon by fiendish nightmares that seem somehow all too real, and our heroes smell a rat. Something must be behind these dreams... but the question is what? Or, maybe a better question is how do we stop it? Oh, actually, it'd probably be an even better question to figure out how it's even able to do this in the first place... gah! There's just way too many questions! All we know is that we have to do something... or the dreams that come tonight might be even worse than what preceded them. Tuck yourself in, friends... we're in for some rapid eye movement tonight!

Druids get bit. Houses get burned. Doors get knocked.

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the hard questions like... is it okay to cook a talking creature if it's like, really rude to you?

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Kingmaker Ep. 65: Wails & Wild Hunts Mar 09, 2020

Sometimes, there's no stranger sound than silence. When you're waiting for the inevitable- in this case, the appearance of a reality-shifting Bloom that threatens to batter down the walls between reality and the realm of the fey- silence like that can be horrible to live with! Thankfully, though, we've found a stranger sound than silence. Tonnes of babies, crying in the woods. Yeah, you read that right. Like, an army of screaming babies in the woods. What's going on there? Who knows! But it sounds like some reality-shifting nonsense to me. Grab your spear and plug your ears- it's time for a Bloom-Slaying adventure!

Books get given. Turnips get kicked. Vengeance gets had.

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the hard questions like... are two heads REALLY better than one when it comes to surviving sonic attacks?

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Kingmaker Ep. 64: Briars & Blooms Mar 02, 2020

Once upon a time, there was a little girl who was also a sword. The Kingmakers have come home triumphant from the War of the River Kings, but they have no time to rest- they've been informed that the Wicked Fey Queen, Nyrissa, is moving to steal their kingdom from time itself! Under the threat of the mysterious Season of Bloom and armed with a mythical weapon to guide them, our heroes must band together now more than ever in order to protect the Kingdom of Kilcela from not only bandits or beasts- but from otherworldly magic that threatens to rip reality to shreds! Hold onto your butts- it's time to begin the end!

Kisses get given. Bags get bought. Water gets inspected.

All this and more in the first episode of Kingmaker Book 6: SOUND OF A THOUSAND SCREAMS, where we ask the hard questions like... how do I explain a threat if I don't actually know what the threat is?

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Kingmaker Ep. 63: Swords & Steam Feb 24, 2020

Progress Marches On! The Kingmakers find themselves finally face to face with King Castruccio Irovetti, Lord of Pitax and Longtime Rival of the Kingmakers. With an immense, Steam-Powered Clockwork Serpent, weapons and tools salvaged from a crashed ship from beyond the stars, and treachorous magic beyond our hero's wildest imaginations, the Clockwork King will not go down without a fight. But each of our heroes has a stake in the game- and none of them are the kind to give up either. It's the final showdown between the Kingdoms of Kilcela and Pitax- but who will come out on top? The Kingmakers, or King Irovetti? There's only one way to find out- let's have our decisive duel in the pit of the Clockwork Castle's ruins, and see once and for all, who deserves to rule, and who deserves to die!

Animals get banished. Arms get grown. Bad News gets delivered.

All this and more in this, the season finale of Kingmaker Book 5: War Of The River Kingdoms, where we ask the Hard Questions like... is it ethical to kill people by using a child as a weapon?

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Kingmaker Ep. 62: Fiends & Furnaces Feb 17, 2020

Throw some coal on the fire! The Kingmakers find themselves reunited with some old friends, but the danger isn't over yet. Before they can escape the Cruel Clockwork Castle and end the War of the River Kings once and for all, they must put out the flames in the heart of the beast and grind the steam-powered engines to a halt- but they will not find it unguarded! All of this is pretty cool, but.... man, it's sooty down here! Is breathing in all this coal dust healthy for you? I mean, I know the guy who runs this place is evil and all, but like, surely there's some health violations going on down here. Are we sure we want to have our climactic duel to shut down the engines HERE of all places? Yes? Well... here we go, I suppose!

Souls get banished. Proposals get made. Arrows get fired.

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the hard questions like... are there any spells that can help me with platformer challenges?

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Kingmaker Ep. 61: Oni & Oozes Feb 10, 2020

Welcome to the world of tomorrow! Our daring heroes find themselves in the Clockwork Castle in search of friends, foes and answers. Where did you put our companions? How do we shut off this machine? And what's the deal with all these doors?! Seriously, there's got to be a couple of hundred of them! But before we can find any concrete ends to these mysteries, they've a few obstacles to overcome- namely, a squad of big, mean robots and an even bigger, meaner Oni General. Hold onto your butts- with the amount of blood we're about to spill, we're going to make Sekiro look like a walk in the park!

Performances get given. Constructs get piloted. Neighs get whinnied.

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the hard questions like... what's the best dance I can do to scare the hell out of my enemies with my cool sword?

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Kingmaker Ep. 60: Clockwork & Conquerors Feb 03, 2020

To battle! The Army of Kilcela has garnered some powerful allies throughout the Glennebon Uplands, from old foes to towering giants. But now that they've garnered enough strength, they're finally ready to take on the might of the Clockwork Regiment of Pitax. As our heroes get ready to lead their forces against their mechanical opponents, they can look forward to a fair fight. Right? No tricks, no underhand tactics- just something nice and straightforward, right? Of course, it's never that easy. What's up with the alarm they're ringing out? Or the rumbles from behind the city walls? Or the black plumes of smoke coming from the dozen chimneys from Castle Pitax? No time to think- let's end the War of the River Kings by tonight!
Trolls get scared. Ladders get launched. Reunions get had.
All this and more in the 1 Year Anniversary Episode of Dice Will Roll, where we ask the Hard Questions like... are there any rules that say the castle CAN'T be considered a combatant?!

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Kingmaker Ep. 59: Lords & Linnorms Jan 27, 2020

Quests. Every adventure needs them. They're a critical part to the life of a hero, be they a mission from a high priest to seek out an ancient relic, a treaty to seek out a bandit king, or... wait, am I reading this right? A cry for help to slay an evil monster from a particularly depressed mammoth? On their journey to seek out allies who can help them go to battle against the Clockwork Regiment, the Kingmakers traverse the Glennabon Uplands on a particularly unusual mission. Can our brave heroes triumph in the face of legendary opponents? Or is their legend a tragedy, not an epic? For my sake, I'm hoping it's the first- I don't wanna be out of a job writing these blurbs!

Lore gets shared. Curses get inflicted. Alliances get forged.

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the hard questions like... how do you win an arm wrestling fight with a Barbarian King?

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Kingmaker Ep. 58: Forests & Ferocity Jan 20, 2020

Into the belly of the beast we go! The Kingmakers continue to wage war against the Clockwork Kingdom of Pitax, and in order to overwhelm their mechanical foes and their twisted king, they must undermine his allies. And to do that, they've travelled deep into the cursed woods of the Thousandvoices Forest to find themselves in the Hungerdark Caverns, facing off against Minognos-Ushad, the Wyvern Queen. Only one problem... she's like, a lot scarier than we originally anticipated?! She's like, 30 feet tall, and her fangs are as long as my arm... is it too late to change our minds and leave? Yes? Well, no point crying about it now! Hold on tight- things are about to get rocky!

Heroes get gulped. Trees get chopped. Battles get witnessed.

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the hard questions like... what's the real-estate value of a haunted castle in the woods that fades in and out of reality?

Discord: discord.gg/rDhQuVq

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Kingmaker Ep. 57: Destiny & Dragonslayers Jan 13, 2020

Oh, your magic world might be full of ancient prophecies and legends of days to come, but that's not how we do it here on Golarion! Here prophecies are RARE and usually BOGUS, and may or may not be the result of ancient wizards messing with things they don't understand! Our heroes find themselves with an audience with an ally who's quite literally the stuff of legends- and find out they've got some legendary duties themselves! And what's a good legend to do? Why, go kill some dragons, of course! The hunt for Minognos-Ushad, the Mother of Wyverns, continues- but never forget, would-be dragonslayers. Not only can you hunt dragons... dragons are fully capable of hunting you too.

Water gets gargled. Skeletons get squinted at. Coup-de-graces get delivered.

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the hard questions like... what's the real-estate value of a haunted castle in the woods that fades in and out of reality?

Discord: discord.gg/rDhQuVq

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Kingmaker Ep. 56: Myths & Monasteries Jan 06, 2020

To arms! The Kingmakers have won their first major victory in the War of the River Kings, having saved the little town of Littletown from the maws of the wyverns. The battle may be won, but the war is far from over, and now they must hunt down their sinister spawnmother and prevent it from happening again! But are things as simple as they seem? Will both sides of the war play fair, and allow the victor to come down to whoever fights truest? Or will Pitax cheat at this too, just like they do with everything? Only time will tell, soldiers- for now, though, hold your shield and charge to the defense of the downtrodden- we've a war to fight in, boys!

Bombs get lit. War Crimes get discussed. Clocks get smashed.

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the hard questions like... why did the political climate of early 2020 have to happen just as we got to the war arc?

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Kingmaker Ep. 55: Wizards & Wyverns Dec 30, 2019

Of course, you realize, this means war! Betrayed by the Bandit Kingdom of Pitax, the Kingmakers find themselves back in St. Gilmorg, only to find it overrun by clockwork soldiers hellbent on reducing the city to rubble! With wyverns circling in the sky above and trolls on the horizon, it quickly becomes apparent to our heroes they have two options: take up arms and lead the Kingdom of Kilcela to victory against the heinous Pitaxian Hordes, or like, give up and die, I guess. And knowing the Kingmakers- their friends captured by villains, their home under attack, and their legacy at risk of being lost to history like countless other River Kingdoms before them- that means there's only one real thing to do. Onwards and forwards, Kingmakers- it's time to start a true War of the River Kings!

Machinemen get melted. Grapples get stung. Spells get charged.

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the hard questions like... war! Huh! Good god, y'all, what is it good for?

Derry's Mass Combat Rules: https://www.reddit.com/r/Pathfinder2e/comments/dwxpba/mass_combat_for_pathfinder_2nd_edition/

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Kingmaker Holiday Special: Fair Folk & Festivities Dec 23, 2019

Ho Ho Ho! During the bleak winter nights of the end of the year , the Fey of the Kingdom of Kilcela bring all the good little girls and boys gifts as a sign of good-will and peace. But lo and behold, this year, the unthinkable has happened- and a gift has gone missing! In this very special episode of Dice Will Roll, our heroes, a trio of fey adventurers, must find out what happened to the missing present, solve a murder, and save the Generic Winter Holiday! But watch out... who knows when the terrible Gringrungrangrun, that horrible fairy-eating monster, might strike next?! Grab your sugar canes- it's time to make the Yuletides gay!Investigations get started. Cookies get eaten. Gifts get given.All this and more in this very special episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the festive questions like... what are the best spells to protect me from the Krampus?Patreon: www.patreon.com/dicewillrollDiscord: discord.gg/rDhQuVqReddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/dicewillroll/Redbubble: https://www.redbubble.com/people/dicewillrollRPG League: http://www.rpgleague.comMusic Via Owlcat GamesTheme Song: Kick Shock by Kevin MacLeod Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 LicenseAd Music: Local Forecast - Elevator, Airport Lounge, Lobby Time and Bit Quest by Kevin MacLeodFestive Music Used: Jingle Bells, Wish, Dance of the Sugarplum Fairy by Kevin McLeod Investigation Music For Background Music by Gumberculese Jingle Bells (Dark Piano Version) by Myuu Just Us League by RKVC--- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/appSupport this podcast: https://anchor.fm/dice-will-roll/support Get extra loot on our Patreon!

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Kingmaker Ep. 54: Secrets & Scepters Dec 16, 2019

When the going gets tough, the party puts their hands on their hips and expresses total disbelief at how garbage the situation is, before sighing in resignation and doing it anyway. After the Kingmaker's top athlete is poisoned by a rival nation in an effort to sabotage their victory streak in the Rushlight Tournament, Improvisations have to be made, and the only other jouster even close to her level is the King himself! Faced with mounting challenges, both athletic and personal, the Kingmakers must weave their way through the intertwining politics of the festival and prove themselves the champions of the games! But are these games really what they seem at face value? Or is there more intrigue beneath the surface? And if there is... then what place does Kilcela have in all of this? It's time to carry on the torch and wrap up the tournament, fellas- if you can make it out in one piece!

Corsets get waved. Kisses get given. Chess Games get played.

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the hard questions like... is there a cure for the itchy demon rash spreading around my inner thighs?

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Kingmaker Ep. 53: Archery & Axes Dec 10, 2019

On your marks! The Rushlight Tournament swings into action, and so too must our heroes! Taking the place of athletes to win the mighty Rod of Lordly Might for Kilcela, the Kingmakers find themselves pitted against the best and brightest of the River Kingdoms' Sportsmen. From ripped barbarian archers to petite lumberjack sorcerers, this sports showcase is more than a little out of the ordinary. But while all is fair in love and war, it might not be in sports! Can our heroes overcome the tricks and cheats of some of the less scrupulous kingdoms? Or will the best men fail to win? It's game time at the Lake of Mists & Veils, and it seems our heroes are here to win!

Notes get taken. Bullseyes get shot. Logs get split.

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the hard questions like... what's the best spell to cure insomnia?

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Kingmaker Ep. 52: Brewers & Bookstores Dec 02, 2019

Sports Festival Arc! Every good adventure should have one! But when you're invited there by a pompous King with a potential vendetta against your own and your list of events gets "lost in the mail"... are you really here to just play some sports? The Kingmakers find themselves caught in the flow of the Rushlight Festival without the right athletes, and must improvise to make sure the show can go on! Will our heroes rise to the occasion and become stars of the event? Or will they make fools of themselves and their nation in front of the most powerful elites of the River Kingdoms? Grab a flask and get ready to play- the tournament of a lifetime is about to begin!

Names get misspelled. Wine gets sipped. Books get read.

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the hard questions like... what's the safest way to avoid attracting the attention of a master poisoner?

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Kingmaker Ep. 51: Thrones & Tournaments Nov 25, 2019

Are we going to need a vacation from this vacation? It's been a long year for the Kingmakers since the defeat of the reborn Barbarian King, and Kilcela has grown to embrace the status of a true River Kingdom. So much so, that the neighbours are starting to take note of them! An invitation from their rival nation of Pitax brings them to the Rushlight Festival, a fair of fantasies that showcases the best and brightest of the River Kingdoms! But between a citystate of spies, a domain of deposed nobility and a of assassins- can Kilcela stand out against the crowd and make an impression by winning the legendary Midnight Joust? Or is there more going on than meets the eye between our King and his old home?

Boulders get yote. Monsters get charmed. Revelations get made.

All this and more in the first episode of Kingmaker Book 5: WAR OF THE RIVER KINGS, where we ask the hard questions like... how can I convince my friends to try eating honey-roasted spiders from a food stall?

Discord: discord.gg/rDhQuVq

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Kingmaker Ep. 50: Weapons & Warlords Nov 18, 2019

What does it mean to be a hero? To some, it might be to do good for your people, no matter what. To others, it's an insatiable hunt for glory. It could very well come to be that two heroes might find themselves in direct opposition with one another... one to protect all that is pure, the other to conquer it. Funnily enough, you'll never guess what this episode is about! The spirit of Armag the Barbarian King lies within his wicked supersword, Ovinrbaane, the enemy of enemies, and the Twiceborn Warlord now finds himself facing the Heroes of Kilcela who wish to stop him from enacting his grim conquest of The Stolen Lands and beyond! Can the Kingmakers stop this cruel king from reigniting the flames of a long gone kingdom of blood? Or are they doomed to fall to the Enemy of Enemies and be the first to make up his throne of bone?

Walls get mimed. Accidents are had. Tragedy strikes.

All this and more in this, the season finale of Kingmaker Book 4: Blood for Blood, where we ask the Hard Questions like... is it weird to try romance the Big Bad halfway through a duel with him?

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Kingmaker Ep. 49: Golems & Glory Nov 11, 2019

You might think you're tough. You might have slain monsters, saved villages and kicked butt. But you didn't do it in the Tomb of Trials, and the Tomb Master didn't see it, so it didn't count! Now PROVE yourself! The Kingmakers travel through the Tomb of Armag in pursuit of the Reincarnated Barbarian King, but they are not alone. A haunting voice echoes through the misty passages of the crypt, guiding them through terrible trials to prove themselves worthy of their place in this mausoleum of misery. Can our heroes overcome the tests laid out for them that will surely push them to their absolute limit? Or will they fall to their doom here, as the Twiceborn Warlord retrieves his terrible weapon, Ovinrbaane, the Enemy of Enemies?

Balls get rolled. Teeth get chattered. Naps get taken.

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the hard questions like... does tapping the ribs of a Deathless Skeleton really play xylophone noises?

Discord: discord.gg/rDhQuVq

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Kingmaker Ep. 48: Hexes & Hordes Nov 04, 2019

The enemy of my enemy is my friend. And certainly, when you're facing off against tens of hundreds of brutal barbarians guarding the entrance to the final resting place of the Stolen Lands most dangerous superweapon, it's very useful to have friends! But... are we really allying with THOSE guys?! The Duchy of Kilcela wades into battle against the Barbarian Hordes of the Havzhi Khal alongside the Kingdom of Pitax(?!) in an effort to catch the reincarnated Barbarian King and stop him from getting a hold of Ovinrbaane, the Enemy of Enemies and the most wicked weapon in the land. It won't be an easy fight, but push past the battlefield, the cultists and the tomb, and perhaps the Kingmakers can put a stop to the nefarious warlord's plans!
Scarves get wrapped. Barriers get raised. Trials get taken.

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the hard questions like... is it still child murder if you kill a teenager that's artificially aged themselves?

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Kingmaker Ep. 47: Slashers & Serenades Oct 28, 2019

In the life of an adventurer, there's never really a chance to catch your breath, is there? After being tossed off a cliff by a vicious Barbarian Warlord, the Kingmakers decide to regroup and return to St. Gilmorg and plan out their next move. But any hopes of relaxation and recuperation is dashed when rumours swirl of the sinister Rainwater Razor's latest murder, forcing our heroes into investigation. Who is this deadly serial slayer and what are they doing on the streets of Kilcela? One way or another, today's a fine day to become killer killers!

Tarts get eaten. Fires get started. Flags get raised.

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the hard questions like... what's the best spell to use to understand someone's accent?

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Kingmaker Ep. 46: Barghests & Broadswords Oct 21, 2019

Many a tale begins with the sight of an enchanting maiden bathing beneath a waterfall under the moonlight. Now, take that, and imagine that instead of a beautiful young lady it's actually a huge beefcake of a guy, and also, there's goblin-wolf-dog-thing creeping up on you, and you don't know what's going on but you guess you're here for the ride?? If you're picturing it so far, then you've got a pretty good idea of what kind of episode this one's gonna be, folks. No time to think- it's a battle back to back with a real hunk with an air of mystery against some of the night's scariest monsters (if you're level 4, at least)!

Swords get shown. Armour gets pierced. Heroes get yeeted.

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the hard questions like... what kind of gift can I get the man who has everything (like, a hundred different swords)?

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Kingmaker Ep. 45: Barons & Babblings Oct 14, 2019

STORM THE CASTLE! The battle cry of so many brave heroes who're ready to die for a cause. Or, like in our case, the panicked yells of a group of adventurers who aren't quite as sneaky as they thought they were coming up with a Plan B on the spot. The Kingmakers are taking out the crooked leaders of Fort Drelev and freeing its people- but to do so, they need to take out the man behind it all, the Mad Baron Drelev! Bent on taking out the Kingmakers and conquering the Duchy of Kilcela for himself, this menacing madman is all that stands between his people and liberation. Now, friends and adventurers, say it with me- off with his head!

Druids get carried. Dogs get snoozed. Hunks get peeped on.

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the hard questions like... are there any practical uses for being permanently turned purple by a weird artefact?

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Kingmaker Ep. 44: Hags & Half-Bloods Oct 07, 2019

We've all dealt with pests in the basement before. Possums. Raccoons. Your greasy son who just won't stop playing video games and get a job. But Hags?! That's a different story altogether! The Kingmakers face off against a coven of Annis Hags and their wicked leader, Betty Rustfingers, in the cellar beneath the Drelev Keep. But who else resides in this castle of creeps? Giants? Guards? Cruel, calculating summoners with a disdain for life in favour of his studies? Or perhaps an old friend who just won't take a hint and get lost? One way or another, nothing's gonna stop these heroes- vive la revolution, it's time to put some nobles on ice!

Hands get chopped. Windows get jumped. Lightning gets arced.
All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the hard questions like... is it that weird to have a bag full of human molars?

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Kingmaker Ep. 43: Puddings & Passageways Sep 30, 2019

A leader's duty is to serve their people, but in their greed, so many kings believe that their people are there to serve them instead. When that happens, it's time to revolt! The time to topple the Mad Baron of Fort Drelev is drawing near, and the Kingmakers must infiltrate his keep to depose him and the crooked nobility he lavishes with instead of saving his barony from the vicious barbarians that overrun it. But, uh... how do we get in? There's like, guards and stuff. We didn't exactly come with a plan, so... I dunno, maybe we should climb the walls or something? No, that's dumb. I'm out of ideas. I'll let our heroes figure their way past monstrous guardians, cunning traps and long-hidden secrets themselves! Vive la revolution!

Slimes get sliced. Bars get bent. Cackles get cackled.
All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the hard questions like... is it unethical to send an Unseen Servant to its doom?

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Kingmaker Ep. 42: Grottoes & Guises Sep 23, 2019

Being an adventurer is easy! When you have a problem, just swing your sword at it until it dies. For example, say you're in a swampy cave, and a horrible tortoise creature rises from the depths and tries eat you. What do you do? Slash it with your sword! Simple stuff! But what about more complex problems, like sneaking into a barbarian infested town where everyone is looking to kill you? Swords won't fix that. Unless..? Now, I'm not saying that it's the PERFECT solution to infiltrating the Mad Baron of Drelev's home, but maybe... just maybe... we can swing our swords at this too! No? Bad idea? Darn, whatever. Our heroes will probably think of a smarter idea. It's time for the Kingmakers to find out exactly what's going on with Fort Drelev, and try topple the crooked crown that lies atop it!
Breath Weapons get breathed. Disguises get put on. Dreams get dreamt.

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the hard questions like... what's the least suspicious way to walk into a Brothel Church?

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Kingmaker Ep. 41: Serpents & Storytellers Sep 16, 2019

The best way to make friends with someone is to do something that they'll like. Usually that means offering to listen to someone's interests, maybe buy them a nice cake or something- but in the case of the Cruel, Swamp-Dwelling Goggard worshipers of a demon goddess, it's not so easy! Our heroes find themselves fighting off the cruel naga which had bewitched the priest-king of the Boggards in order to gain their favour and bring peace to the marshes- but honestly, can we just settle for knitting them a nice cardigan or something? I'm tired of having to killing monsters for other people!

Poems get recited. Rings get given. Baby Carriages get investigated.

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the hard questions like... what's the most likely outcome from pulling a mysterious sword out of a spooky rock formation in the middle of the water?

Discord: discord.gg/rDhQuVq

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Kingmaker Ep. 40: Fumbles & Frogfolk Sep 09, 2019

A mission of intrigue requires everything to go right. It takes skills, guts, and stealth to get in and out without being spotted. Or, alternatively, you could be infiltrating the caves of some grossly incompetent Boggards who have no real idea what they're doing. The Kingmakers wish for an audience with the Demon-worshipping Priest King Sopoko, and they don't want a fight- but unfortunately for them, the Boggards of the swamp village of M'Bottu certainly do, and their surprisingly vicious frog guide Garuum is aching for revenge. What's up with these guys and revenge, anyway?! Vengeance this, vindication that- can't the Boggards just sit down and talk with one another? It's a marshy dungeon crawl adventure for our heroes as they navigate the tunnels of M'Bottu and try end the Boggard attacks on the merchants of Kilcela!

Frogs get pelted. Tamers get munched. Deals get made.

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the hard questions like... how do you politely tell a naga you're not interested in a friendship with them?

Discord: discord.gg/rDhQuVq

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Kingmaker Ep. 39: Bog Mummies & Bullywugs Sep 03, 2019

Culture Shock! Whenever you visit a new place, you're bound to find a few customs you're unused to. But what's with everyone here in the swamp trying to drown us to please their assorted gods? Our heroes venture deeper into the murky Hooktongue Sloughs to investigate a barony conquered by barbarians and a clan of frogfolk that have been attacking travelers on the roads to their kingdom. But first, they must overcome some of the hazards of the marshes- such as a trio of hideous bog mummy clerics of the goddess of undeath! Onwards and forwards, heroes, and guide this motley expedition of lizardmen, gnomish mapmakers, corvid treasurehunters and furious frogmen deeper into the wilds!

Gas pockets get popped. Balls get punched. Villages get sneaked through.

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the hard questions like... what's the best backrubbing technique to calm a raging Boggard?

Discord: discord.gg/rDhQuVq

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Kingmaker Ep. 38: Marshes & Marauders Aug 26, 2019

You know how the traditional saying goes- when someone sends an invasion force to conquer a small town on the border of our kingdom, we need to find out who's behind it, why they did it and how to stop them from doing it again. What, nobody says that? Well, they should! The Kingmakers are saddling up for an expedition into the Hooktongue Slough to investigate a mad baron, an undying barbarian and a clan of boggards so that they can defend the Duchy of Kilcela from further attack. With escorts from the village of lizardfolk, quests from curious characters in the tavern, and a few familiar faces showing up again, this adventure deep into the swamps of the west is sure to prove an exciting one! Gather your exploration gear, adventurers- we're about to show the world what we've got!

Interrogations get conducted. Drinks get drank. Fireballs go nuclear.

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the hard questions like... how do I effectively jail a pixie?

Discord: discord.gg/rDhQuVq

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Kingmaker Ep. 37: Rivers & Raiders Aug 19, 2019

The Duchy of Kilcela has entered a period of peace and prosperity over the last year; the nation has expanded, its leaders risen in fame for their legendary feats and you know what? Tourism is doing pretty good too. But when a hearty meal in the idyllic town of Tatzylford is interrupted by a stranger baring a dire warning of impending doom, our heroes are faced with an unfortunate fact: when you go around stopping bad guys every day for a living, eventually, a few of them are going to want revenge! It's a veritable siege today, fellas, as the Kingmakers face off against an invasion of foes from the woods, both new and old- and they're all that stands between the forces of destruction and the town they must rally and fight back with! Barbarians, witches and giants, oh my! Grab your sword, study your spellbook- the Siege of Tatzylford begins today!

Bad Guys get bisected. Heads get exploded. Poems get recited.

All this and more in the first episode of Kingmaker Book 4: BLOOD FOR BLOOD, where we ask the hard questions like... what's the easiest way to convince a nine year old not to use their shapeshifting powers for evil?

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Kingmaker Ep. 36: Liches & Lairs Aug 12, 2019

It all ends here. After weeks of investigating horrors and heresy, the Kingmakers have finally found themselves face to face with the culprit of all the misfortunes which have plagued Varnhold and its people. An ancient, beyond powerful foe has risen, and with occult power that dwarfs our heroes by leagues, and if they don't do something to stop it, Kilcela and the rest of the world could be next. The undead menace of Vordakai, Cyclops Lich and King of a Crumbled Empire, demands their subjugation- but when our heroes have an old friend to avenge, surrender isn't an option. It's do or die for Alden, Kaska and Ichor as they face off against a truly legendary foe they seemingly have no hope of beating- but surely, justice will find a way! Now, once and for all, guys, let's show this zombie wizard it should have stayed dead!Spells get cast. Friends get reunited. Eyes go blind.All this and more in this, the season finale of Kingmaker Book 3: The Varnhold Vanishing, where we ask the Hard Questions like... how do I stop my mind-controlled friend from killing me without hurting their feelings? Patreon: www.patreon.com/dicewillrollThe Dice Will Roll Wiki: https://dice-will-roll.fandom.com/wiki/Dice_Will_Roll_Wiki Discord: discord.gg/rDhQuVqReddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/dicewillroll/ Facebook: www.facebook.com/dicewillrollTwitter: twitter.com/DiceWillRollRedbubble: https://www.redbubble.com/people/DiceWillRoll/shop?asc=uKilcela: Heart of Heroes: discord.gg/eppzv8FMusic Via Owlcat GamesTheme Song: Kick Shock by Kevin MacLeod Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 LicenseAd Music: Local Forecast - Elevator, Airport Lounge, Lobby Time and Bit Quest by Kevin MacLeod --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/appSupport this podcast: https://anchor.fm/dice-will-roll/support Get extra loot on our Patreon!

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Kingmaker Ep. 35: Crypts & Corpses Aug 05, 2019

Imagine your worst nightmare, and picture yourself facing it. Pretty bad, right? Now imagine that you not only have to take care of it yourself, but there's a spunky teen there, and you need to protect them too. Now you can imagine the kind of stress the Kingmakers are under! After rescuing a prisoner of the undead cyclopses from their captor, our brave heroes must now make their way deeper into the Tomb of Vordakai and face whatever horrors lie within. Zombies? No sweat! Daemons? Pushover? But remember, dear traveler, that often times, the scariest things aren't the foes you face- but what you stand to lose. And also, the foes you face, if they're like, really really scary. Like, dang, this is a spooky one.

Pits get leaped. Frescoes get glanced at. Hearts get broken.

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the hard questions like... how do I console a weeping phantom?

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Kingmaker Ep. 34: Daemons & Doom Aug 02, 2019

Tombs. Standard adventure fodder. You go in, fight some skeletons, get the loot, leave and tell tale of your story. But this one feels... different. Our heroes must delve into the tomb hidden in a tall rock formation hidden deep in the mountains on the trail of the populace of the entire vanished city of Varnhold. Could this be where they went? What brought them here, to an isolated island deep in the treacherous cyclopse gravelands? A veritable tomb of horrors awaits these daring adventurers as they try solve the mystery of the true nature of Vordakai's Isle once and for all. After that... can we finally go home? I miss the woods, these mountains suck! And I'm pretty sure I got a stone in my shoe!

Secret doors get opened. Blood gets boiled. Wheels get spun.

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the hard questions like... what's the safest way to talk your way out of a fight with a fiend without losing your soul?

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Kingmaker Ep. 33: Tengus & Tombs Jul 29, 2019

They say that there's no place like home, and you know what? Whoever said that was right. After fighting horrific soul eating Daemons, alien bug-monsters and living shadows, the Kingmakers are getting mighty worn out by all this terror and torture. Now as the snow of winter starts to come down and our heroes must trek into the forbidden canyons of the Valley of the Dead, they must face even more gruesome foes. How long until we can go home again? Not until we solve the mystery that brought us here in the first place?! This sucks! I signed up to be part of a group of adventuring heroes, not a crime-solving gang of teens! One way or another, though, our heroes must be brave- for now, they have to prepare themselves to set foot into a taboo valley, untouched by the locals for centuries... and see what dwells within.

Blessings get given. Lairs get investigated. Cliffs get jumped.

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the hard questions like... how much healing does kissing a booboo better do?

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Kingmaker Ep. 32: Obelisks & Omens Jul 26, 2019

En-route to the dreaded Valley of the Dead in search of answers into their ongoing investigation of the lost colony, our brave heroes are scaling mountains and wandering through the wilds. But after meeting a particularly unusual, plane-hopping ally in Zzamas the Phase Spider, an enormous arachnid with a human head and promises of treasure, they now find themselves face to face with an even more unusual foe- the gruesome Xill, alien monstrosities with jaws, claws and a real bad attitude! It's time for a fight around a weak spot between worlds around the mythic Ghost Stone in a bid to win this creepy spider lady back her home and get on with the mystery of Varnhold!

Chests get opened. Birds get ridden. Doors get slammed.

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the hard questions like... what's the easiest way to make it down a waterfall in one piece?

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Kingmaker Ep. 31: Specters & Spiders Jul 22, 2019

A lonely log cabin, isolated in the middle of a mountain range, not far from the site of a mass disappearance. Anyone who's watched horror movies ever should know to be wary of some place like this. Thankfully, horror movies weren't around in Fantasy Times! Yeehaw! The Kingmakers have encountered an unusual new friend- because hey, we've already gone so far, why not add a feral child to the mix? But as they take a second to hide away in this abandoned lodge, rather than answer questions, all of this brings up only more. An island of druids? A dead poet? The hungry darkness? Put on your thinking caps and lock your doors- our heroes have quite the spooky night ahead of them!

Floorboards get creaked. Windows get scratched. Dubious deals get made.

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the hard questions like... what class is the most likely to survive a horror movie?

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Kingmaker Ep. 30: Centaurs & Cinders Jul 18, 2019

The Butler did it! Mystery solved! If only it was that easy. Our anxiety-ridden explorers search for answers in their ongoing investigation into the Varnhold Vanishing, armed with precious little knowledge, some shoddy testimony from unreliable faerie sources and an awful nightmare- not exactly the best clues in the world. As such, our heroes are tracking down the most likely suspects- an evil cannibal cult of an old centaur god?! There really is no such thing as an easy adventure these days, huh? Well, no matter. I guess it's time to go track down some horse people! Onwards-ho!

Fingers get bitten. Fires get watched. Rocks get spotted.

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the hard questions like... is it a dumb idea to name your warrior clan's name after a pun?

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Kingmaker Ep. 29: Spriggans & Screams Jul 15, 2019

They say not to judge a book by its cover, but maybe they should also say not to judge a gnome by its height! Our heroes have come across a camp of ghastly Spriggans- grey skinned, hairless gnomes with a tendency to make mountains out of molehills- and switch their sizes up to match! Are these deceitful foes the ones who caused everyone in the city of Varnhold to vanish? If so, how! Why! Where did they put them? But one question looms over the others- who is this Supreme Leader they're all terrified of? Mystery is in the air, but before all else- we have some gnomes to gnash! Let's roll!

Towers get fallen from. Escapes get blocked. Nightmares get had.

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the hard questions like... is it acceptable to kill a bad guy if they're crying like, real real hard?

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Kingmaker Ep. 28: Villages & Vanishings Jul 11, 2019

Knock knock! Anyone home? No? Huh. When a single house does this, it's a normal afternoon- the residents might be out having a picnic, going on a hike, practicing wizardry or something. But when a whole city has been completely abandoned, with no sign of a struggle or even a hint of where they might have gone aside from a single ominous word carved into the the door of an inn, something's definitely up. Our heroes have crossed into the nation of Varnhold to investigate why their neighbouring kingdom has gone radio silent, but the discovery that they're not just ignoring them, but are all gone is more than a little chilling. Now they must put on their detective caps and investigate the empty barony, because all of this raises a single question- if they're not here, then where did the people of Varnhold go?

Jars get knocked over. Books get read. Gods get discovered.

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, where we ask the hard questions like... how can I identify someone based solely on their hands?

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Kingmaker Ep. 27: Dukes & Dire Wolves Jul 08, 2019

Winter comes to the Duchy of Kilcela, a rising nation starting to gain fame around the Stolen Lands for its victories against the beasts and bandits which once plagued its lands. From the hilltop city of St. Gilmorg, to the farming town of Fangberry and even the village of Monsters, Sootscale Hill, our heroes have a fine kingdom at their hands. But as the natural beauty of the cold months roll in, so too does the darkness of night- and when a harrowing message arrives informing the Duke, the High Priestess and the Sheriff that something mysterious is afoot, and they're being asked to investigate, a creeping dread comes over them all. What's happened to the neighbouring nation of Varnhold? Why won't they send back any messengers sent to them? And most importantly, why has one of our heroes dear friends not returned from his quick trip to visit them? Alden, Ichor and Kaska embark to a strange new land in search of answers... but what else truly awaits them in the craggy hills of the Nomen Heights?

Journeys get prepared. Eels get eaten. Dread begins to crawl.

All this and more in Dice Will Roll's first episode of Kingmaker Book 3: THE VARNHOLD VANISHING, where we ask the hard questions like: is it cannibalism to eat a Halfling?

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Kingmaker Ep. 26: Tyrants & Titans Jul 05, 2019

For months, the Barony of Kilcela, a newfound nation of heroes and adventurers alike, has been harassed by a shadow of itself- Kongerike, the Kingdom of Monsters. Lead by Hargulka, the Troll King, Kongerike has sent wolves to hunt Kilcela's people, lizardfolk to kidnap its children and, most recently, attempted to invade and capture one of its towns. Today, Kilcela fights back. Leading an army to go free the captured slaves taken by the trolls, Baron Ichor Eteoclese, High Priestess Kaska Tanavin and Sheriff Alden Felstad have one goal: end the cruel reign of Hargulka, once and for all! But no matter how straightforward a plan this may seem, darkness lurks around the corner- what dangerous secrets does the King of Monsters hide? And what powerful foes has he allied himself with?

Crits get rolled. Monsters get slashed. Romances get sparked.

All this and more in this, the final episode of Dice Will Roll: Kingmaker Book 2: RIVERS RUN RED, where we ask the hard questions like: is it true that the bigger they are, the harder they fall, or is that just small creature propaganda?

PATREON REVAMP FORM: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdCi6EXre0zPSiRNEUenZ86ALAAfOqggE1YiZ8ouTrHEt4_6g/viewform

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Kingmaker Ep. 25: Hermits & Hodags Jul 01, 2019

My mother always told me to help older folks, that they'd lived long lives and deserved respect. What does she expect me to do when the old man we just met in the woods is not only shrieking and cackling as he tries gut us with a sword, but also commanding his terrifying cryptid bull-dinosaur-lion monster thing to eat us alive?! En-route to scout out the villainous Kingdom of Trolls deep within the Western Woods, our heroes are ambushed by a mad hermit and his monstrous companion. Will they defeat this diabolical duo, or are they destined to fall here before they can save their kingdom from the vicious monsters of Kongerike and end up as dog chow?

Weapons get picked up. Trees get lifted. Final conflicts get prepared.

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the hard questions like... what's the best way to clear your head after breathing in toxic fumes?

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Kingmaker Ep. 24: Battles & Brutes Jun 28, 2019

A hero's job is to fight evil with your allies. A group of mercenaries duel against a dragon to steal its hoard. Explorers fight off hungry undead as they explore uncharted crypts. But when you're up against two dozen giant trolls with a hunger for destruction... m-maybe it's time for a bigger group to take them on? Our Kingmakers gather together to fight off the evil trolls of the wicked kingdom of Kongerike, who have invaded their land and captured the peaceful village of Fangberry! Only through great bravery, cunning tactics, and a shitload of burning arrows have they any hope to liberate the quiet hamlet from certain doom at the hands of these monsters! Alright, everyone? On my mark! Three... two... one... CHARGE!!

Plans get hatched. Boulders get thrown. Spears get discovered.

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the hard questions like... is it cheating to just cast "Cause Heart Attack" on your enemy mid-fight?

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Kingmaker Ep. 23: Cults & Cavalries Jun 24, 2019

Do you ever see someone, and your heart just stops, and you know that this- this perfect being- this is what your whole life has been leading up to? All the pain, the anxiety, the stress of existing on this mortal plane, it was all worth it to meet this person? That's what it's like to look at a horse. Ecstatic over new inhabitants of the Barony of Kilcela and the treasures they bring with them, our adventurers are horse crazy- but not crazy crazy, you know? Better save that kind of insane for the rumoured cult of the hag goddess which is growing in power day by day. Someone should maybe do something about that, and those someones should probably be our brave Kingmakers- but like, give us a second, we're admiring the way the wind blows in their manes!

Bribes get taken. Tripwires get tripped. Terrible future conflicts get revealed.

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the hard questions like... is it obnoxious to use a title like "The Unkillable" if I just haven't died yet?

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Kingmaker Ep. 22: Rage & Ruins Jun 20, 2019

Sibling rivalries suck! But there really is a difference between your sister stealing your shirt and your brother rising from the dead to slay you for not burying you with his legendary sword. What a jerk, right? Get over it! You don't even need the sword anymore! Why not allow some daring adventurers raid your tomb and keep it for themselves? Our heroes are here for the Sword of the Cairn, and they're not going to take no for an answer. It's a fight to the undeath deep inside this ancient grave, and it's up to our party, our fighter's mom and a wolf to show this creep that his reign is long over. Just make sure not to get in the way of this Barbarian King's undying rage!

Hugs get given. Barrels get drank. Advice gets given.
All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the hard questions like... is it ethical to rob from a tomb if the guy buried there was an asshole?

PAN-DEMON-IUM: https://open.spotify.com/show/1KDvxrvZ4dj7j03iSznKHI

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Kingmaker Ep. 21: Moms & Monsters Jun 17, 2019

There are several truths in this world. When something goes up, it must come down. Everything that has a beginning also has an end. When your mom says she wants to do something, you must do so. Well, okay, the last one isn't necessarily universally applicable, but in the case of one of our dear heroes, it certainly is! Challenged with bringing the mother of our Half-Orc fighter out into the wilds to enter a tomb and steal an ancient, legendary sword from the clutches of an undead menace, our heroes must overcome treacherous landscapes, face powerful foes, and tease their companion about his baby pictures. Milf rights!
Mushrooms get picked. Stories get told. Traps get sprung.
All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the hard questions like... how can I stop a swarm of bats from panicking?
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Kilcela: Heart of Heroes: discord.gg/eppzv8F
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Kingmaker Ep. 20: Worgs & Warrents Jun 13, 2019

Huff! Puff! Howl-Of-The-North-Wind, a monstrous talking wolf, has come to the kingdom of Kilcela, and he's lured its leaders into a trap! And if that weren't bad enough, he's apparently in kahoots with the evil Troll King from the South? But fear not- once our heroes slay this fearsome worg and his cronies, surely everything will return to normal, right? Maybe we can relax, rule the kingdom in peace, even pass a few laws. Maybe I could catch up with that book I've been meaning to read. And maybe that guy who's been criticizing the Kingmakers in front of growing crowds will finally shut up! Perhaps all that's wishful thinking- but no worries! In the meantime, though- these three little piggies have a big bad wolf to kill!

Beasts get slain. Meetings get had. Investigations get made.
All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the hard questions like... how do I look menacing while sitting in someone's kitchen?
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Kilcela: Heart of Heroes: discord.gg/eppzv8F
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Kingmaker Ep. 19: Howls & Heroes Jun 10, 2019

Daring quests. Heroic journeys. Brave adventures. All of these are great and all, but... on top of ruling your own kingdom, it can get kind of draining to keep doing all those things. Sometimes, you just need to relax! Whether it's going out visiting fancy shops or going for a drink and meeting up with old friends, there's tonnes of ways to chill between adventures. But as rumours swirl of dangerous beasts in the hinterlands of your nation, and certain unscrupulous individuals pin your adventures as the cause of these monstrosities... aw, jeez, it's gonna be on the Kingmakers to go fix this problem too, huh? Can't a Baron catch a break around here?

Rings get inspected. Hugs get given. Footprints get tracked. All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the hard questions like... how do I tell if the tavern I'm in is actually a church?
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Kilcela: Heart of Heroes: discord.gg/eppzv8F
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Kingmaker Ep. 18: Reptiles & Revenge Jun 03, 2019

For those in the adventuring business, there's two cardinal rules- don't split the party, and don't let your most powerful foes get away. But you know, mistakes can get made! So what if you accidentally let both happen at once? Quite a lot, apparently. On a mission to save a child from a tribe of lizardfolk, our heroes split up to get the job done, only for one half to end up on his own guarded by ochre jellies and the other half confronting an old foe back at his own tricks and a monstrous lizard king the size of a house. Oh, also, they need to protect this child too? Stakes are high, and tensions even higher- will the Kingmakers be able to save this kid and make it out of the Lair of the Iruxi Tribe in one piece? Or are they fated to end up as crocodile meat? Drawings get made. Asses get slapped. Throats get ripped.All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the hard questions like... how do I convince my friend to stop turning into a wolf?Discord: https://discord.gg/rDhQuVq Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/dicewillroll Twitter: https://twitter.com/DiceWillRollPatreon: https://www.patreon.com/dicewillroll Kilcela: Heart of Heroes: https://discord.gg/eppzv8FMusic Via Owlcat GamesTheme Song: Kick Shock by Kevin MacLeod Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 LicenseAd Music: Local Forecast - Elevator, Airport Lounge, Lobby Time and Bit Quest by Kevin MacLeod--- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/appSupport this podcast: https://anchor.fm/dice-will-roll/support Get extra loot on our Patreon!

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Kingmaker Ep. 17: Swamps & Spirits May 27, 2019

One of the best things about ruling a kingdom is watching it bloom. Farms, towns, cities all rising up from nothing- pretty neat! But with every kingdom comes myths and legends, and when one myth seemingly comes true and startles the locals by snatching someone away... well, that's all sorts of spooky! Our valiant heroes must push into the swampy banks of the Tuskwater Lake in search of a mysterious hag who's stolen a child away- but are things as cut and dry as they seem? One way or another... it looks like we've got a soggy adventure on our hands!

Monsters get scouted. Bells get rung. Old, familiar faces reveal themselves.

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the hard questions like... is it normal for a Scarecrow to turn its head to stare at you when you're not looking?

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Kingmaker Ep. 16: Farms & Faerie Dragons May 20, 2019

When you're ruling your own kingdom, you need to keep an ear to the ground and listen to what the people have to say. For some kings, that means you must slay the dragon which plagues their village. Some queens must wage war against fiendish demons which stalk the night, hunting the citizens of their towns. But sometimes, a ruler is asked to deal with the strange spontaneous outbreak of pranks and goofs which their local farmlands are suffering from. Wanna bet which one our party is facing? But when the suspected culprits' jokes turn out to be a lot crueler than their usual practical jokes, the Kingmakers must investigate- because when dealing with the capricious fey, it pays to be careful and make sure there's not something more sinister afoot.

Plans get made. Hostages get taken. Trees get given.

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the hard questions like... is it okay to cuddle a wolf like a teddy bear?

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Kingmaker Ep. 15: Waltzes & Wickedness May 13, 2019

In the dark, dark forest, there is a dark, dark castle- and a formidable foe who lives at the top tier of its tower! The fabled Green Lady is said to lurk among the ancient ruins of this Elven keep, spinning a web of mysterious plots and killing unicorns and stuff. But... wait, are we sure it's her? If the legendary fey hunted by our heroes is really here, would she truly have only left like, two or three traps? Surely she could have invested in some better security than a plantman and a quickling! But if it's not her, then who is it? Why are they here? Why are they using her name? And what truly lurks within? There's only one way to find out- rush in foolhardily and hope for the best!

Dances get danced. Soapboxes get stood on. Friends return home.

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the hard questions like... how can I convince the tavern keeper to let my dire wolf into the bar?

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Kingmaker Ep. 14: Quests & Quicklings May 06, 2019

Deep in the woods, our heroes are solving problems, completing tasks and finishing quests upon quests upon quests- as adventurers are supposed to! But as they make their way deeper into the Narlmarches and discover an ancient ruin from a long forgotten era, they of course drop everything to explore it. But... is everything as it seems? Why are millennia-old traps still working? What's with the movement they see out of the corners of their eyes as they investigate? And why is the name of a sworn foe on the lips of those who oppose them? Doesn't she have better things to do than chill out in a craggy old castle in the middle of nowhere?! One way or another- the Kingmakers are here to stop whatever's going on, and get some treasure and glory while they're at it!

Trees get chopped. Potions get snatched. Mysteries unveil themselves.

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the hard questions like... how can I tell a Plant Monster apart from a Regular Plant?

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Kingmaker Ep. 13: Trees & Travellers Apr 29, 2019

Strange things are said to lurk in the woods... monsters, ruins... but more importantly, quests, and lots of them. Maybe that's why our heroes are finding themselves going deeper and deeper into the wild woods of the Narlmarches- on the hunt for adventure, they find more than they bargained for- more adventure! And if THAT wasn't enough, THAT adventure leads to more adventure! It's like a domino line of quests, or something! Are our heroes really going to go through all this trouble? They have a kingdom to be running, is it really a good idea to do errand after errand for everyone they meet in the forest who has a quest for them to do? Who am I kidding... of course they will. They're adventurers, and if there's one thing they like doing, it's avoiding their responsibilities!

Maps get bought. Lumberjacks get charmed. Heroes get flustered.

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the hard questions like... where do I avert my eyes to look away from the sexy goatman?

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Kingmaker Ep. 12: Kobolds & Kingdoms Apr 22, 2019

One year has passed since the defeat of the villainous Bandit King, the Stag Lord, and in that time our heroes have raised their own barony from the brambles to rule. Towns, farms, mines- the Kingmakers are making their mark on history with their own Kingdom: Kilcela. But when strange rumours about territory they intended to annex starts to surface, the Baron, the High Priestess and the Royal Enforcer must investigate- and come face to face with a dangerous foe with a rotten personality and an even more rotten breath. I mean, jeez, dude, take a breath mint or something! One way or another, however, the party is about to deal with a kind of problem they've never dealt with before- one that not only makes them question their own goals, but one that they can't just kill with swords or sorcery. And that's terrifying.

Festivities get celebrated. Rumours get overheard. Politics get tense.

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the hard questions like... how can I hunt down a Hodag?

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Kingmaker Ep. 11: Stags & Skulls Apr 15, 2019

Our fledgling heroes face their toughest challenge yet. Behind enemy lines, deep in the fortress of the brutal bandit king known as The Stag Lord, Alden, Ichor and Kaska must think fast if they want to save the wild Stolen Lands from a crusade of criminals destroying everything in their path. And if that wasn't already bad enough, they've been separated from their trusted animal companion who now runs the risk of being discovered by the Stag Lord himself. And did we even mention the fact that there's a caged Owlbear here?! Like, who does that?! It's a high tension situation, and under pressure like this, the Kingmakers have two options: leave victorious or bite the dust.

Bandits get tossed. Goodbyes get given. Tomorrows get built.

All this and more in this, the final episode of Dice Will Roll: Kingmaker Book 1, where we ask the hard questions like: shouldn't there be more practical ways to meet with divine beasts than being yelled at in the woods?

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Kingmaker Ep. 10: Twists & Thickets Apr 08, 2019

In the wild world of Golarion, heroes have many callings. Some go crusading against demons which pour into the world through cracks in the fabric of reality. Others fight for freedom, liberating their cities from the oppressive rule of diabolic empires. But here in the Stolen Lands? They go berry picking to help out cool old guys, apparently! After hunting monsters, making maps and duelling bandits, our adventurers take it easy and do some calm chores like gathering rare Fangberries for alchemists. But one can only take it easy for so long before your past catches up with you; and destiny doesn't wait for those who avoid it. It hunts.

Berries get picked. Costumes get donned. The scene is set for the final showdown. All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the hard questions like... what's the best way to sneak a wolf past security?

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Kilcela: Heart of Heroes: https://discord.gg/eppzv8F

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Kingmaker Ep. 9: Wyrms & Wanderers Apr 01, 2019

After days of searching through the craggy forests of the Narlmarches, our heroes have finally hunted down their quarry: Tatzylwyrms! Fighting the snake-like dragons at a ford deep in the woods, the party quickly realizes that the poisonous gasps of the Tatzylwyrms are more than enough to be a credible threat to our heroes- why were they on this quest again? Wait, because someone wants to use their heads for interior design? No offence, but is that really worth almost dying over? If I'm going out, I wanna die for a cause, or in some kind of accident, not to be chow for some wannabe wyverns!

Bucket lists get checked. Lessons get given. Nightmares plague the sleeping. All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the hard questions like... what are the best berries to brew a potion with?

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Kilcela: Heart of Heroes: https://discord.gg/eppzv8F

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Kingmaker Ep. 8: Fables & Fey Mar 25, 2019

Our explorers of the Stolen Lands are on the hunt: they're looking for the monstrous Tatzylwyrm, a snake-like dragon which is rumoured to lurk along the rivers of the Greenbelt! However, as per usual, stuff gets in the way- some tricksters toy with them, they tell each other their pasts, and become closer as friends! But can the power of friendship prepare them for the ghastly discovery that waits in the clearing..? Who's to say? Maybe it will, maybe it won't! It all depends on how the dice roll!
Stories get woven. Monsters get hunted. Dread creeps through souls. All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the hard questions like... how do I get these annoying invisible pranksters to leave me alone?

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Kilcela: Heart of Heroes: https://discord.gg/eppzv8F

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Kingmaker Ep. 7: Ales & Adventurers Mar 18, 2019

So, a druid, a fighter and a bard walk into a temple, right? And there's a massive bear, yeah? Except it doesn't seem to really be a bear, and it's like, half covered in moss, and is maybe kinda some sort of monster? And then the barkeeper says "Why the long face!" Ha! Regardless, our heroes continue their quests, and get a healthy dose of new quests too, along with some new friends, some new coin, and a lot of booze!

Hookups get made. Livers get destroyed. Kingdoms get promised. All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the hard questions like... should I really trust every single zombie that crawls out of a river to give me a quest?

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Kilcela: Heart of Heroes: https://discord.gg/eppzv8F

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Kingmaker Ep. 6: Boggards & Beasts Mar 11, 2019

Armed with new knowledge of their foes that make them look even more inept than before, our valiant travellers bide their time and venture into the woods in search of a secret lost temple, forgotten through the ages. However, as they make their way through the forests of the Greenbelt, they realize something: the wilderness is a lot wilder than previously anticipated! Uh-oh!

Animals get soothed. Druids fall into pits. Fighters experience Catholic Guilt. All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the hard questions like... what's the fastest way to calm a raging boar?

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Kilcela: Heart of Heroes: https://discord.gg/eppzv8F

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Kingmaker Ep. 5: Thieves & Tales Mar 04, 2019

Our daring adventurers continue their exploration of the Stolen Lands, their goals shaken after the revelation that there's more to their little brigand busting journey than originally imagined. Putting off their initial plan, they try do a few decidedly less deadly quests while exploring the wilds, only to happen across a few unlikely sources that let them discover more about not only the bandit problem, but the problem bandit himself- the villainous Stag Lord. Jeez, that gave me goosebumps! What a scary dude, huh?

Haunches get munched. Bandits get blasted. Stories get woven. All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the hard questions like... how can you help a Kobold get over its indigestion?

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Kilcela: Heart of Heroes: https://discord.gg/eppzv8F

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Kingmaker Ep. 4: Castles & Companions Feb 25, 2019

After a busy day adventuring, our heroes of the wilds get ready to continue their quest, but come upon a few minor roadblocks which cause them to reconsider their plan of action. And by a few, I mean a single one. And by minor, I mean super major. And by reconsider their plan of action, I mean realize this whole bandit-slaying thing just got a million times more deadly. For our heroes, I mean.

Dreams get discussed. Warnings get given. Companions get introduced. All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the hard questions like... is it a problem if I find the grizzled silver fox with an axe to my throat kinda sexy?

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Kingmaker Ep. 3: Mites & Mayhem Feb 18, 2019

Deep beneath a haggard old tree, our group of explorers, adventurers and a wolf have found an unlikely friend, and have promised to help him take back what's been stolen from his clan. But things aren't always what they seem, and sometimes, you just gotta fight your way through waves of bugs and other icky creatures before you can continue on your mission to go kick some bandit ass. That's how the saying goes, right?

Kobolds go cower. Vermin get sliced. Idols get dethroned. All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the hard questions like... What color is centipede blood, anyway?

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Kingmaker Ep. 2: Caverns & Creeps Feb 11, 2019

Our heroes, Alden Felstad the Half-Orc Fighter, Ichor Eteocles the Human Bard and Kaska Tanavin the Half-Elf Druid (and Issorar the wolf!) start their journey through the Stolen Lands in search of some evil-doers they're hoping to tangle with. However, turns out finding where they went is a little harder than they expected in an uncharted wilderness!

Skeletons get investigated. Caves get discovered. Monsters get slain. All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the hard questions like... How do you stop a Kobold from crying?

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Kingmaker Ep. 1: Brambles & Bandits Feb 04, 2019

Enter the Stolen Lands; an untamed wilderness thriving with brigands, beasts and worse. In desperate need of heroes, a call to adventure was put out- unfortunately, no heroes were available to respond, so we just settled for a handful of gay dorks.

Join Dice Will Roll in their new campaign, a conversion of the iconic Kingmaker Adventure Path to Pathfinder 2nd Edition for an irreverent journey through modern TTRPG, with adventures spanning from rolling 4 Nat 1's in a row to standing up to the darkest forces of the multiverse.

Bandits get bitten. Stew gets crunched. Journeys get started. All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the hard questions like... What's the fastest way to get rid of a Bandit Problem?

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