Dam Internet, You Scary!

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304: Streamer U, Final Destination IRL & Scary Twins 👯‍♀️ May 29, 2025

Show notes

From terrifying Final Destination screenings to AI destroying the planet 🤖🌍, this week’s Damn Internet, You Scary is PACKED with wild stories, conspiracy-level facts, and hilarious commentary from Patrick Cloud & Tahir Moore. We break down Kai Cenat’s Streamer University 🏫, the haunted Helios Flight 👻✈️, standing-room-only airline nightmares 🧍🏽‍♂️, and the world's weirdest service animals 🐀🦊.
Scary squad, you're in for a ride. Buckle up.
🛎️ Don’t forget to like, subscribe, and turn on notifications!
✨ Sponsored by Green Chef – Use code 50DIYs to get 50% OFF your first month + 20% OFF for 2 months & free shipping 🍽️💚
Producer: @HippieGoals
⏱️ TIMESTAMPS & CHAPTERS:
00:00 – Morning routines & 4-mile hikes 🚶🏽‍♂️
00:52 – Back in the stock market 💹
03:09 – AI is ruining the environment?! 🤯
06:00 – Kai Cenat’s Streamer University is genius 🎥📱
10:14 – Final Destination screening becomes real-life horror 😱🎬
13:38 – Is this the best horror movie marketing ever?
16:02 – The eerie “Jim Twins” story 🧬
18:01 – The Silent Twins & psychic twin theory 👭
20:15 – Green Chef ad 🍲 (code: 50DIYs)
23:01 – Cooking at home & sushi class dreams 🍣
23:50 – STANDING-ONLY airplane seats?! 🚫🪑
29:20 – The haunting story of Helios Flight 522 🛫👻
35:16 – ZIP codes & how mail really works ✉️📮
37:21 – Crosswalk rules & street name secrets 🚦
41:08 – Minecraft’s banned news library 🧱📰
46:17 – The Minecraft creator’s sad billionaire story 😔
48:03 – Musical-watching dogs?! 🐶🎭
50:22 – The world’s weirdest “service animals” 🦨🦚🐍
52:11 – Final laughs & wrap-up 😂🎤
Join our Patreon now!!
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303: Buried Alive, Nutmeg Trips & Fake Kidnappings?! on DIYS May 22, 2025

Show notes

💥 This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp.
This week on Damn Internet, You Scary!, Tahir Moore and Patrick Cloud dive headfirst into some of the wildest, weirdest, and WTF-worthy stories from around the internet. From the woman who woke up at her own funeral 💀➡️😲 to a man who faked his own kidnapping just to hit the club 🎉😬… it’s giving unhinged internet energy all episode long.
🔥 What’s inside this insanity:
A real-life zombie funeral moment 🧟‍♀️
TikTok teens tripping on nutmeg and why that’s DEAD serious 🥄☠️
A deep convo about soul food, tacos, and black culture’s food evolution 🌮🍖
Tahir gets vulnerable talking about therapy, trauma, and how holding hands became an act of courage 🫱🏽‍🫲🏾💔
Oh—and two identical twins BOTH paying child support 😳👶🏽👶🏽
🚨 Plus: Sponsored segments that actually slap:
🧠 BetterHelp (because therapy is for real ones)
https://www.betterhelp.com/diys
💳 Kikoff (fix ya credit, fam!)
Start building credit with Kikoff today, and you can get your first month for as little as one dollar. That’s 80% off the normal price when you go to https://www.getkikoff.com/DIYS today.
💸 Cash App (because we like fast money)
Download Cash App Today: https://capl.onelink.me/vFut/crftch8p #CashAppPod *Referral Reward Disclaimer: As a Cash App partner, I may earn a commission when you sign up for a Cash App account.
For a limited time only, new Cash App users can use our exclusive code to earn some additional cash. For real - there’s no catch. Just download Cash App & sign up! Use our exclusive referral code [DIYS10] in your profile, send $5 to a friend within 14 days, and you’ll get $10 dropped right into your account. Terms apply. That’s Money. That’s Cash App.
Scary. Funny. Healing. Ridiculous. Just another episode of DIYS. 🙌🏽
👇🏽 Timestamps & Highlights Below!
🎯 Don’t forget to like, comment, and subscribe if you laughed, gasped, or clutched your pearls.
00:00 – Waking Up at Your Own Funeral?!!
02:48 – Taco Bell vs. Real Mexican Tacos
04:33 – Black Folks & Soul Food Tacos
07:00 – Taco Truck Culture Shock
10:38 – Wild Rice, Quinoa, and Mediterranean Eating
12:07 – The Cheat Day Debate
15:00 – Ad Read – BetterHelp
18:44 – Tahir Opens Up About Communication & Trauma
22:07 – Relationship Growth & Past Abuse Triggers
27:04 – Holding Hands Feels ‘Sweet’ but Unsafe?
30:03 – Fight or Flight in Public: A Real One's Reflex
31:30 – KevOnStage, Hustle Envy, & Depression Talk
33:00 – Church & the Illuminati (Yes, Really)
34:24 – The Nutmeg Challenge: TikTok’s Dumbest Trend
40:22 – Ad Read – Kickoff Credit Builder
44:01 – Buried Alive: The Essie Dunbar Story
47:00 – Who Fakes a Kidnapping to Party?!
50:20 – Ad Read – Cash App
51:00 – Brazilian Twins & Child Support Drama
56:00 – Man Buys Storage Unit With $7.5M in Cash
58:22 – Would You Return the Money… or Disappear?
01:03:00 – Real ID Laws & Washed Money Warnings
01:04:23 – The Coughing Millionaire Game Show Scam
01:09:00 – Wrap-Up & Upcoming Shows
Producer @hippiegoals
#DIYS #DamnInternetYouScary #TahirMoore #PatrickCloud #NutmegChallenge #FunnyPodcast #BlackPodcasts #ScaryStorie
Join our Patreon now!!
https://www.patreon.com/DamInternetYouScary

302: Conspiracy Corner: The Flatwoods Monster, AI Aliens, and Trees That Talk with Comedian CP May 20, 2025

Show notes

Welcome to the pilot episode of Conspiracy Corner! Hosts Tahir Moore and Patrick Cloud kick off the series with an epic dive into strange phenomena, ancient mysteries, and modern tech paranoia. Special guest CP joins to explore how seemingly unrelated conspiracies—from walking trees to ancient aliens—might all be connected.
This episode covers:

The mysterious Flatwoods Monster encounter of 1952
If AI was gifted to us by aliens to mask their presence
Evolution’s weirdest tricks: spiders, glowing fish, and tree animals
The idea that God might just be running a simulation
What animals like dogs, whales, and sharks might already know about the universe
Red night vision goggles revealing demonic creatures during war

It’s a wild, funny, and thought-provoking start to the series. Strap in and question everything!

301: What’s Scarier: Ocean or Space? on DIYS with Sam Salem  May 15, 2025

Show notes

🤣 Welcome back to another wild ride on Dam Internet, You Scary! This week we’ve got your kid’s favorite teacher and internet chaos gremlin — Sam Salem — back in the building! 🎤🍽️
https://www.instagram.com/samuelsleeves
We are talking about:
🥞 Writing essays at IHOP
🔥 Petty clapbacks to internet trolls
🐶 Why he refuses to call the dog “his”
📞 Garfield phones mysteriously washing up on beaches
🧱 And yes… the Bricked Up Boys are officially a thing now 👀💀
Also…
👩🏽‍🚀 Ocean vs. Space debate gets weird
📦 A Chinese business owner drives 500 miles to throw hands over a bad review
🤯 The weirdest compliment Sam ever got from a troll
💬 Hosted by Tahir Moore & Patrick Cloud
📺 New episodes every week with the funniest people on the internet.
👊🏾 Don’t forget to LIKE, COMMENT, & SUBSCRIBE — or we might mail your roast to your job 📫🔥
🔗 Chapters & Timestamps below!
#DIYS #DamnInternetYouScary #SamSalem #ComedyPodcast #BrickedUpBoys #GarfieldPhone #PettyLevel100 #IHOPEssays
00:00 – Sam Salem Returns: Panic Writing & Pancake Strategy
02:30 – Sam’s Secret Weapon: All-You-Can-Eat Pancakes
06:00 – Ginger Identity, Black Culture & Locks Debate
13:30 – AI, Black Twitter & Sam’s Viral Videos
17:00 – Cowboy Carter & Beyoncé Concert FOMO
21:30 – Country Remixes That Shouldn’t Exist
28:00 – The “Dog That Lives In My House”
35:00 – Bricked Up Lifestyle & BlueChew Madness
41:00 – The Great Garfield Phone Mystery
44:30 – Internet Trolls, Doxxing, and Petty Revenge
53:00 – Space vs Ocean: What’s Scarier?
1:02:00 – DIYS Sign-Off & Final Laughs
S/O to our Sponsors
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300: Crows Hold GRUDGES?! This Bird Attacks Her EVERY Day! on DIYS with Chris Sneed May 09, 2025

Show notes

A crow that attacks ONE person every day?! Parrots ordering snacks on Alexa?? Cartel graveyards with air conditioning and balconies?! This episode of Dam Internet, You Scary! is full of the most insane real-life stories that’ll leave you shook and in stitches.
💀 From birds with vendettas to million-dollar mausoleums, Tahir, Patrick, and guest Chris Sneed break it all down with nonstop laughs and wild takes.
🎟️ Plus: Chris Sneed is filming his stand-up special “I Need Urgent Care” on June 26th at the Regent Theater — don’t miss it!
https://www.ticketmaster.com/event/0900627BE3654976?fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAaeaIzJ6tdwJsC5yVBOdn-IQ-BjTplSDJedGGtgu390WM6HPUY4cNC1mq4vUyA_aem_KwNEdvAIjRpICjH3j9Jj-A
🔔 Subscribe now for more hilarious episodes: @DamInternetYouScary
🎙️ Producer: @HippieGoals
📱 Follow the hosts:
@tahirmoore | @PatrickCloudChannel
Guest: Chris Sneed https://www.instagram.com/itschrissneed/
🕒 CHAPTERS:
Join our Patreon now!!
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299: China’s Super Soldiers, Creepy Heart Transplants & Hallucinogenic Fish w/ Devonte West May 01, 2025

Show notes

This episode of Damn Internet, You Scary! is a full-blown ride.
Guest: Devonte West https://www.instagram.com/_devontewest/
Devonte West joins Tahir Moore and Patrick Cloud for an unhinged convo that covers:
Snail trail face masks 🐌
Edible horror stories 🍪
CIA-level hallucination fish 🐠
The wildest heart transplant suicide story 🫀
Purple not being real 👁️
And China's terrifying new super soldier experiment 🧬
It's skincare, science, and superpowers all rolled into one. Buckle up — this episode gets deep, weird, and hilarious.
🔔 Like, subscribe & hit the bell — or risk eating a DMT fish by accident.
S/O to our Sponsors
SKIMS
https://www.skims.com/diys
Blue Chew
Https://www.bluechew.com Promo Code: DIYS
Kikoff
Get your first month FREE at https://www.GetKikoff.com/DIYS
0:00 - Glow, Sponges & Hot Oil Treatments
1:18 - Spa Days & Korean Skincare
2:31 - Snail Masks & Slippery Science
5:15 - Compliments & Confidence
8:12 - Devonte Joins the Chaos
10:53 - Type Sh*t Global Culture Stories
20:15 - Fish That Get You High?!
23:00 - DMT, Edibles & Driving While High
32:00 - Heart Transplant Suicide Mystery
37:00 - Purple Isn't Real?!
41:00 - Satellites, GPS Hacks & Creamer Prices
45:00 - Coffee Subs, Skims & Bluechew
49:00 - China's Super Soldiers
53:00 - Custom Superpowers & The Real Goku Life
Producer: @HippieGoals
Join the Patreon https://www.patreon.com/daminternetyouscary

298: We Don’t Do Drugs, We Just Try Things | DIYS w/ Spank Horton Apr 24, 2025

Show notes

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. https://www.betterhelp.com/diys
What happens when comedian Spank Horton pulls up to Dam Internet, You Scary!? Shirtless birthday parties, wild drug trips, international thirst stories, detachable sea penises, and cows who hate country music. Hosts Tahir Moore and Patrick Cloud go toe-to-toe with Spank in one of the most hilariously unhinged episodes ever.
💥 From talking ketamine to awkward strip club returns, from Brazilian magazine girls to frogs getting divorced for too much rain—this one has it ALL.
🎤 Hosted by: Tahir Moore & Patrick Cloud
🎧 Guest: Spank Horton https://www.instagram.com/spankhorton/
🎥 Produced by: @HippieGoals
📍 Chapters + Timestamps below 👇
📲 Subscribe & hit the bell for more weekly chaos!
🔗 Follow us on socials: @daminternetscary
✂️ Best moments from this episode? COMMENT BELOW!
0:00 - The Freestyle Is Wild Right Away
2:01 - Spank Talks Getting “Fired” by Kevin Hart
4:04 - Kev’s Workout Rules & Phone Calls at 6AM
5:10 - Spank’s Birthday Turn-Up: No Shirt in the Club
7:00 - “Would You Take Your Shirt Off In Church?”
9:00 - Spank’s Freestyle to a Mario Trap Beat
11:10 - Macy’s Catalogs & Magazine Shopping Woes
13:00 - Brazilian Magazine Girls & "Ordering by Name"
15:10 - Beauty in Brazil vs. Getting Kidnapped
17:00 - The Artist Who Drew Himself on Every Drug
20:30 - Ranking Drug Portraits: Weed, Cocaine, Meth
25:00 - Everyone Admits Which Ones They Tried
27:00 - DMT Trips, Hieroglyphics & Lucy-Level Visuals
30:00 - Spank Tries Ketamine—Then Rips His Shirt Off
32:00 - “We Don’t Do Drugs, We Just Try Things”
33:45 - Cows Hate Country Music?!
35:00 - Wagyu Cows Live Better Than Us
36:15 - Women’s Self-Defense Gloves from the 1800s
38:10 - Sea Creatures with Detachable D**ks 🤯
40:00 - Frog Marriage & the Flood It Caused
43:00 - Spank’s Favorite City for Beautiful Women
45:00 - India, Mia Khalifa & Trash City in Egypt
48:00 - Spank’s Chaotic Jamaica Trip w/ 90 People

297: Are Spiders Plotting Against Us? + Downtown LA’s Creepiest Secrets on DIYS w/Vanessa Graddick Apr 17, 2025

Show notes

🎙️ Welcome back to Damn Internet, You Scary! with your hosts @PatrickCloudChannel and @TahirMoore. This week’s hilarious guest is none other than comedian, writer, and mixologist-in-residence Vanessa Graddick! https://wwww.instagram.com/vanessagraddick
In this episode:
🍸 Vanessa drops drink game with edible glitter cocktails
👮‍♂️ We dive into the wild conspiracy that Family Matters was a delusion created by Carl Winslow!
🕷️ Spiders could theoretically eat all humans in under a year?! Say what?
🌲 We explore the real-life Zone of Death loophole where you could legally get away with murder!
🌆 Plus: the haunting side of downtown LA, from graffiti ghosts to pigeon-covered staircases.
Don’t forget to like, comment, and SUBSCRIBE for more comedy, conspiracies, and chaos.
💬 Drop your thoughts: What show from the 90s deserves a conspiracy theory?
S/O to our Sponsors
Blue Chew
Try your first month of BlueChew FREE when you use promo code DIYS -- just pay $5 shipping. https:/www.bluechew.com
Prize Picks
Download the app today and use code DIYS to get $50 instantly after you
play your first $5 lineup!
0:00 - Kicking Things Off & Making Wishes at 12:34
0:42 - Birthday Numbers & Seeing Patterns in Time
1:21 - Can You Manifest the Clock?
1:55 - Timing Needs to Be Organic
2:29 - Sleepy Faces & Misinterpreted Drool
3:02 - The Money Shot Debate
3:15 - Titty Bang Failures & Bad Aim
3:30 - Vasectomy Confessions & Reduced Velocity
4:27 - The Brick House Blueprint
5:03 - Invention: The Skee-Ball Sex Game
5:37 - Olympic Score System for Sex
6:14 - Global Expansion for Semen Games?!
6:50 - Scoring Hair vs Headboard vs Butt
7:35 - Missionary Skeeball Gets Competitive
8:07 - Can Amazon Sell This?
9:01 - Sitcom Theme Songs with a Trap Remix
10:17 - Vanessa’s Glitter Cocktails & DIY Mixology
11:22 - Frasier Love & Drink Inspiration
12:12 - Sitcom Reboots & Night Court Talk
13:49 - Kathy Bates in Matlock & Writing Classes
15:17 - Sitcom Trap Beat Freestyle
16:59 - Cheese is as Addictive as Cocaine?!
17:32 - The Carl Winslow Multiverse Conspiracy
19:42 - Typecasting & The Ghost of Urkel
21:17 - Family Matters Is a Cop's Fantasy
23:51 - Schizophrenia Dog Named Barbie 🐶
24:35 - Could Spiders Eat All Humans?!
26:20 - Slavery Stats & Spider Logic
27:34 - If We Ate White People Instead of Chicken...
28:40 - What If Don Julio Sponsored Cracker Barrel?
29:58 - Ad Read: Bluechew Comedy Segment
32:37 - Words We Can’t Say: Specificity & Naïveté
33:43 - The Zone of Death: Legal Murder in Idaho?!
36:08 - Yellowstone’s “Train Station” Theory
38:43 - Downtown LA: Squatters, Drugs & Dodger Dogs
43:57 - Man in a Diaper with Pigeons?!
44:58 - Why Dodger Dogs Are Baseball's Real MVP
45:40 - PrizePicks Sports Talk & Fantasy Betting
51:20 - Cheese Debate Continues: Sharp Cheddar Wins
55:55 - Vanessa’s Final Plugs & Upcoming Projects
#DIYS #VanessaGraddick #FamilyMattersTheory #Spiders #ZoneOfDeath #ComedyPodcast #BlackCreators #urbanlegends
Producer: @HippieGoals

296: Frog or Lizard Afterlife? Terminal Man Story, Mario Debates + More | DIYS Apr 10, 2025

Show notes

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp.
On this episode of Dam Internet, You Scary!, Tahir and Patrick go from conspiracy theories to hilarious hypotheticals. They dive into the real-life story behind The Terminal, uncover wild Mountain Dew conspiracy theories, and debate the practicality of Mario’s power-ups. Also—should you come back as a frog or a lizard in the next life? And how powerful is Dr. Doom really?
We’re talking:
Getting stuck in an airport for 18 years
Frog butt cheeks
Marvel movie hot takes
Star or 1UP—what would you pick IRL?
💥 Sponsored by Factor Meals & BetterHelp
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🧠 Try online therapy at https://www.betterhelp.com/diys
🔥 New episodes every week! Subscribe for more wild convos and nerd debates.
0:00 – Intro + Martial Arts Fitness
1:08 – Energy Drinks, Mornings & Sugar
1:26 – Guest Cancellations & Old School Vibes
2:00 – The Mountain Dew Conspiracy 🥤
3:07 – The Terminal Was Real?!
5:00 – Living in an Airport: Hacks & Struggles
9:10 – Worst Airports Ranked ✈️
14:30 – Vegas Airport = Chaos
16:52 – Life Hacks & Crazy Tariffs
18:00 – Billionaires Losing Billions
20:00 – Jackie Chan Won’t Leave His Kids a Dime
22:25 – Factor Meals Ad Read
23:00 – Mario Star vs 1-Up Debate 🍄
26:08 – Robbing a Bank with Mario Powers
28:07 – First Animal That Doesn’t Need Oxygen
30:25 – Animals That Don’t Drink Water
34:13 – Would You Come Back as a Frog or Lizard? 🐸🦎
36:11 – Poison Dart Frog Swag
40:05 – BetterHelp Ad Read
42:14 – Avengers: Endgame Deserves a Spot in Top 5
44:13 – Marvel vs DC: Who’s Winning Now?
48:00 – Doctor Doom is Tony Stark?!
50:52 – Most Powerful Marvel Villains Ranked
52:56 – Wanda’s True Power & Marvel Plotlines
54:00 – Disney+ Pricing Woes
55:00 – Sneak Peek: Sleeping Sickness Segment
Join our Patreon now!!
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295: The Creepiest Ways to Memorialize Loved Ones?! | DIYS ft. MikeCakez Apr 03, 2025

Show notes

In this hilarious and wild episode of Dam Internet, You Scary!, Tahir Moore and Patrick Cloud are joined by viral TikTok sensation Mike @MikeCakez famous for his iconic catchphrase "Sir, Sir!" Mike shares behind-the-scenes secrets of going viral, his journey from engineering to content creation, and how he deals with constant bans from social media platforms.
They also dive into some of the creepiest stories on the internet, including turning ashes into diamonds, preserving tattoos from loved ones as keepsakes, and poisonous plants that leave their victims smiling in death!
S/O TO OUR SPONSORS
SKIMS
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PRIZE PICKS
Download the app today and use code DIYS to get $50 instantly after you play your first $5 lineup!
BLUE CHEW
Try your first month of BlueChew FREE when you use promo code DIYS -- just pay $5 shipping. https://www.bluechew.com
KIKOFF
Building credit can happen faster than you expect with Kikoff. Don’t wait and get your first month for just a dollar at https://www.GetKikoff.com/DIYS.
🔥 Episode Highlights:
Mike’s origin story & viral success secrets
Why Facebook might be better than Instagram for creators
Turning ashes into wearable jewelry & creepy memorial tattoos
The "smiling" deadly plant: hemlock explained
Wild tattoo and skin preservation trends
😂 Join the convo—would you ever turn a loved one’s ashes into diamonds or preserve tattoos? Let us know!
🎧 Subscribe to Dam Internet, You Scary! for weekly comedy, weird internet finds, and incredible guest stories!
#MikeCakez #DamInternetYouScary #ComedyPodcast #ViralVideos #TikTokFame #WeirdFacts #CreepyStories #PatrickCloud #TahirMoore
00:00 – Intro & Special Guest MikeCakez
00:22 – Mike's Viral Success & "Sir, Sir!"
02:17 – Origin of the “Sir, Sir!” Voice
03:37 – The Video That Started It All
05:37 – Instant Viral Success on TikTok
08:05 – Getting Banned & Deleted on Instagram
09:26 – Facebook’s Hidden Benefits for Creators
10:42 – Why Older Audiences on Facebook Engage More
12:16 – Weird Fact: The Origins of Toasting Drinks
16:10 – Preserving Tattoos from Deceased Loved Ones
19:46 – Would You Wear Boots Made from Human Skin?
21:34 – Turning Human Ashes into Diamonds
22:43 – Buried or Cremated? Hosts Reveal Preferences
23:23 – Tahir’s Ideal Funeral: Viking Style
25:29 – Deadly Plant: The Smiling Death (Hemlock)
30:37 – Poison Ivy, Oak & Sumac Horror Stories
32:30 – "Land Before Time" Dark Facts
35:27 – Mike's Engineering Degree
38:42 – MikeCakez’s Surprising Origin: Born in France
41:18 – Tahir’s Bad Experience in Paris
42:20 – Dream Travel Spots: Egypt, Japan & South Korea
47:25 – MikeCakez Wants to Try Skiing
49:14 – Wild Historical Fact: Painless 1887 Dentist Ad
54:39 – How Mike Deals with Fan Recognition
56:03 – MikeCakez’s Struggles with Constant Sweating
57:28 – Ancient Preserved Tattoos (2,500 Years Old!)
59:18 – Final Thoughts & Episode Wrap-Up
Producer: @HippieGoals
Join our Patreon now!!
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