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326 | Establishing Men's Ministries, Living Life to the Full, and Connecting Through Adventure (Tim Lukei) Apr 18, 2024

Show notes

In John 10:10, Jesus says that He came so we may have life to the full. This verse guides Tim Lukei's work as a men's pastor and non-profit leader. Listen in as Tim lists practical tips for building a vibrant men's community. Plus, he describes why adventure matters for your heart, marriage, and family.

Key Takeaways

If you're following Jesus and it feels boring, you're not doing it right.
A multi-generational team will create a multi-generational ministry.
Adventuring as men often opens us up to do life together authentically.
Don't just be a dad who was there; be a dad who was intentional and present.

Tim Lukei

Tim Lukei is the Men's Pastor of Mariners Church in Irvine, California. He also runs Maverick River Collective, which equips churches to establish sustainable, transformational men's ministries. Tim and his wife, Korrie, have been married since 2006 and have three children.

Key Quotes

6:29 - "Adventuring together creates connection moments and moments of, this is so awesome we got to experience this together. That is adventure as it pertains to man's ministry and family and parenting. The best way I know to how to connect with my kids is going on an adventure. And that doesn't always mean hopping on a plane, going to Hawaii or wherever else. It could be like, hey, we're going on a bike ride and I'll take you to this rad new playground. It's going to be amazing. That could be an adventure. And it doesn't cost necessarily anything. My kids beg me to to go on bike rides and it costs nothing."
16:18 - "Do the self processing and figuring out, for me it was immediately, I recognized, I am burnout. I'm exhausted. No matter what you should already have had people in your place that you're reaching out in to go, hey, I'm not okay. Have you recognized it? And then begin the processing on what does it look like to become whole again? To get soul rest, to take some time, if you can, to figure out, is there areas where I need a coach or a therapist? One of the things that I try to do as a men's pastor is normalize therapy for men all freaking day. It's not something you do when you're in crisis. It's something that you do constant. Guys, we don't do that well. We don't process, talk through our hardship, difficulty or past. We don't, that's not our natural gear, for at least most guys. Maybe you have some meaningful conversations with people who speak truth into your life, but whether it's painful or not, you need to have that. Definitely figure out what things are the reasons, How did you get here, and don't just throw Band-Aids at something."

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325 | Discovering Your Child's Purpose, Nurturing Independence, and Prophesying Over Them (Dean Deguara) Apr 11, 2024

Show notes

In this episode, Dean Deguara reflects on how he identified his children's purpose through prayer and prophecy. He details the practical ways he and his wife raised their kids to be resilient and bold, from bedtime prayers to meaningful car ride conversations and more.

Key Takeaways

God will give you clues about your kid's purpose.
The small deposits of time add up.
Be just as competitive about your kid's purpose as their performance.
Teach your children how to make good choices on their own.

Dean Deguara

Dean Deguara is the lead pastor of Real Life Church in Sacramento, California. He and his wife, Amy, have been married for 30 years and have two adult children.

Key Quotes

16:56 - "We were a family on mission. And so wherever we went, we tried to be the same people we were in public, that we were in private. And then just allowing our influence to be who we are."
26:16 - "One of the biggest things I like to encourage is teach your children how to make good choices on their own. As they're growing up, I think a lot of times we wait for these big transitional moments for our kids to make these [big decisions], where there's just a lot of pressure. Now [they] have to make a decision, where you're going to go to college and we didn't give them and we didn't allow them to make any choices until those biggest choices in life. We just started in the safety of our home and the safety of our family, just giving our kids opportunities to make big decisions."

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324 | Calling Out Your Child Through Ceremonies, Rites of Passage, and Spoken Blessings (Michael Warren: Part 2) Apr 04, 2024

Show notes

One day, your child will transition into a young adult. Fathers play an essential role in recognizing those moments through ceremony and celebration. In the second half of this conversation, Michael Warren explores how dads can support their children by welcoming them into a larger community and fostering a sense of belonging.

Key Takeaways

Don't talk about it; be about it.
Present your son to a community of men and vocalize why he belongs there.
Create milestone moments for all of your children.
Make the courageous call to the person you think would be willing to meet with you to talk about being a dad.

Michael Warren

Michael Warren is a dad of four who is passionate about equipping fathers to lead their sons into REAL masculinity. He lives in Anchorage, Alaska, where he facilitates the Alaska Knights program at ChangePoint.

Key Quotes

4:31 - "When it comes to my daughter, it's been a little extra work. I've had to learn a lot about her heart, a lot about how God has made her, it's been a little slower for me, and I've had to run some experiments and try things out. What's caused me to not give up and all that's complex and, quite frankly, confusing to me sometimes, about pursuing the heart of preteen, early teen daughter has been this, I'm going to reject passivity and expect the greater reward by stepping in and creating some milestones for her, too."
20:26 - "If there's something that you want, what responsibility comes with the burden? What responsibility comes with a heightened sense of urgency? And that's not to shame, guilt, pressure, it's not about that. If this is on your heart, I would say just move with it. Find another person and just take the next step. Our God is a God of next steps, practical next steps. Because what kind of a God would He be if He showed us the entire landscape and made us feel overwhelmed and discouraged? That's not His character. "

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DadAwesome Activation Events
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Alaska Knights: Raising a Modern Day Knight
Raising a Modern-Day Knight: A Father's Role in Guiding His Son to Authentic Manhood by Robert Lewis

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323 | Guiding Sons into Manhood, Defining Masculinity, And Four Principles of a REAL Man (Michael Warren: Part 1) Mar 28, 2024

Show notes

Michael Warren is passionate about equipping fathers and mentors to guide young boys into manhood. His goal is to facilitate adventure moments that give sons an answer to the question, "When did I become a man?" In part one of this conversation, Michael describes how dads can define and model the timeless principles of manhood to their kids.

Key Takeaways

Fathers must communicate a clear definition of manhood.
Middle school is a strategic time to start calling boys up and out of the home—away from distractions like video games—and into learning led by dad.
A REAL man Rejects passivity, Expects God's greater rewards, Accepts responsibility, and Leads courageously.
REAL men have a work to do, a will to obey, a woman to love, and a world to serve.

Michael Warren

Key Quotes

17:38 - "The longevity that we've enjoyed has been tied to the fact that it's really transforming men's hearts and their families and the definition of manhood and the context that we teach, where that definition plays out are really transferable and in every season."
20:54 - "A real man, R-E-A-L, R, rejects passivity. A man rejects passivity. E, expects God's greater reward. A, accepts responsibility, and L, leads courageously. So, rejects passivity, expects God's greater reward, accepts responsibility, leads courageously. Expect God's greater reward, what does that mean? Well, that means delayed gratification. That is a principle that every man needs to entertain and think about. I'm going to make sacrifice now, but I know what I'm doing and why I'm doing it. I've got energy, I've got time, I have my purity. I have these things that are God given that once I spend them, I don't get them back. Those are the main principles, this R-E-A-L. What's important to mention is that we call them the four W's. The four W's are the contexts where you can directly apply the R-E-A-L. So the four W's arem a man has a work to do, a will to obey, a woman to love and a world to serve."

Links from Today's Conversation

Spring 2024 DadAwesome Accelerator Group: Email awesome@dadawesome.org to learn more
Raising a Modern-Day Knight: A Father's Role in Guiding His Son to Authentic Manhood by Robert Lewis
215 | Creating Ceremonies, Building Life-Changing Committed Friendships & Raising Modern Day Knights (Robert Lewis)

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322 | Viewing Fatherhood as an Adventure, Owning Your Stuff, and Getting Unstuck (Ian Smith) Mar 21, 2024

Show notes

Ian Smith joins us in this episode with passionate ideas to help dads enjoy fatherhood more. He shares his habits of looking for adventure in the challenge, asking hard questions, and taking ownership of mistakes. His energetic spirit will help you reframe your perspective on parenting so you can show up with renewed purpose.

Key Takeaways

You can enjoy fatherhood more when you view it as an adventure and a good challenge.
Get big enough on the inside to own it when something's not great.
Nothing brings more stability and security to a family than a dad who submits to the authority of the Heavenly Father.
Get out of the ditch of passivity by taking action.
Build up your kids and reinforce their identity through positive language.

Ian Smith

Ian Smith is an entrepreneur, former pastor, coach, and mentor living in Winnipeg, Canada. He has been married to his wife for 25 years and has six children. Ian is passionate about helping others go from feeling frustrated and apathetic in their faith to seeing real, lasting change in their lives.

Key Quotes

24:11 "There's all of this stuff that we go through and situations and fears we have, it's natural. But we can learn to cope with them in such bad ways or we can numb ourselves. We can get complacent. We can Netflix ourselves, drink ourselves, sports ourselves, work ourselves, tax ourselves out of it all. [Instead] of actually dealing with it and never dealing with it. And all that's going to do is continue to hurt us, which then is gonna hurt our family."
35:50 - "[Telling myself] I'm going to make a change and get on the path, and you'll find you'll walk out of that thing really quickly with accountability and a little bit of a vision about where you want to go. That's a really important piece too, is if you don't like the life you have, start envisioning the one you want and let that burn on the inside of you. You'll be amazed that when you have the what you want start to settle in your heart, the how is going to make itself known to."

Links from Today's Conversation

Spring 2024 DadAwesome Accelerator Group: Email awesome@dadawesome.org to learn more
Hero Collective
Spiritual Slavery to Spiritual Sonship: Your Destiny Awaits You by Jack Frost

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321 | Inviting God Into Your Pain, Cleaning Up Messes, and Living with Peace (Jeremy Morris: Part 2) Mar 14, 2024

Show notes

Our conversation with Jeremy Morris continues as he shares insight on healing unprocessed pain, rebuilding relationships, and cultivating peace. Jeremy's healing journey wasn't quick or easy, but through his experiences, you'll see God's faithfulness in restoring his family.

Key Takeaways

Time doesn't heal all wounds, but God can.
The thing that you're doing to anesthetize the pain isn't the problem; the pain is the problem.
Don't give your family the leftovers of you.
Walk with your children through enough adversity that they're prepared for it when they leave the nest.
Without peace, nothing matters.

Jeremy Morris

Jeremy Morris is a husband and father of four living in Boise, Idaho. He co-founded Wild Courage, a ministry that equips men to tell the stories born in the redemption of lives and souls. In his free time, Jeremy enjoys coaching football, camping with his family, and managing his ranch.

Key Quotes

12:37 - "The thing that you're doing for the pain, isn't the problem. Let's go back into your story and find that unprocessed pain that sometimes is so subconscious we don't even know. I also want to say this, pain is the same. Just because you don't have my story, doesn't mean that your pain is less than mine. The pain is relative and your story matters. Going into your story and inviting God into that messy place that you never thought you could ever talk about and going to the source of that pain and finding out why."
23:11 - "It's just having the scary hard talks and helping [your children] navigate emotions. Speaking to their heart and not their actions. Now, that doesn't mean there's no discipline and consequences for actions, but it's not the first thing we go to. We go after their heart level of why did you show up this way? What's going on inside of your heart? Dealing with it in a heart issue instead of what was modeled to us of, like, discipline, discipline, discipline. Shame, shame, shame. Creating a safe environment. We don't want our kids to experience trauma. We're good with some adversity because we want to walk with them through it. I've learned to get really good at cleaning up my messes and finding humility in the times where I blew it. Humility just always wins. It always wins."

Links from Today's Conversation

Spring 2024 DadAwesome Accelerator Group: Email awesome@dadawesome.org to learn more
Wild Courage
The Wild Courage Podcast

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320 | Overcoming Addiction, Discovering Wild Courage, and the Power of Testimony (Jeremy Morris: Part 1) Mar 07, 2024

Show notes

Shame holds back many men from sharing their stories of redemption. Jeremy Morris once felt this. But he learned that the key to unlocking healing is to have the courage to be seen. In this episode, Jeremy shares his unfiltered testimony and demonstrates the power of vulnerability and wild courage.

Key Takeaways

Most men would rather go to the moon, climb Mount Everest, survive in the wilderness, or do other crazy things before being vulnerable.
The key to unlocking healing is to have the courage to be seen.
Are you using certain things to stuff down the unprocessed pain that's trying to crawl up out of your soul?
If God can forgive you, that is enough to carry on.

Jeremy Morris

Key Quotes

10:07 - "The most healing I've received, in a lot of areas, has been when I've had the courage to be vulnerable enough to share my deep, dark pain with someone and to be received with love back. Which, if you really knew me, there's no way you could like me, let alone love me. The courage part comes from us having the courage to be seen. Which, I think, God wired us to be seen and heard by others that we're in relationship with. Men will go to the moon, we'll climb Mount Everest, we'll jump off crazy things with parachutes, we'll ride bulls, we'll survive in the wilderness. And we would rather do all of those things before being vulnerable. I've just found that it's the key to unlocking healing and to be what we're all created to be, which is to be seen and heard and not judged and loved where we're at in the mess of it all."
36:23 - "They put me in jail and something in me changed in my prayer. I don't know how to explain it, other than I asked God, from one father to another father, please take this for me. The dad I'm going to be, I can't do this anymore. And He took it. I don't know if it was because I wasn't praying to get out of my circumstances anymore, which I think looking back, my prayers to Him were always to get me out of the mess that I created. But there was something about me pulling on to heaven, as a dad and crying out to a dad that I think was the difference and His perfect timing."

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Learn More About the DadAwesome Accelerator Group: Email awesome@dadawesome.org
Wild Courage
The Wild Courage Podcast

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319 | Expressing Love, Thriving as Yourself, and Advancing Fatherless Young Men (Chad Wallen) Feb 29, 2024

Show notes

Chad Wallen helps teach fatherless young men practical tools that their dad could have taught them if he had been involved in their lives. It's an active way of fighting against harrowing statistics and intervening in tangible, practical ways. Join us as Chad shares his thoughts on self-care, words of affirmation, and mentoring the next generation.

Key Takeaways

You can't be a good dad if you're not a healthy version of yourself.
Don't make your wife translate your love to your children.
Nationally, 75% of men incarcerated are from a fatherless home.
What does it look like to mentor fatherless young men while providing opportunities to learn new skills, advance their careers, and build confidence?

Chad Wallen

Chad Wallen is a loving husband, foster parent, and dad to three girls and a son. He helped start Advance Camp in Oregon because he has such a huge heart for the fatherless. Now, Chad Wallen lives in the Dallas area and directs Advance Camp Texas.

Key Quotes

7:42 - "That was a hard thing to learn is finding that happy medium between taking care of yourself and finding you as a priority and taking care of your family and finding them as a priority, realizing you can't be 100% dad if you're not 100% you."
17:52 - "My mom used to tell me all the time your dad loves you. He told me last night that he loves you and he's really proud of you. Well, I don't need my wife translating for me. These words need to come out of my mouth. And it's hard. Sometimes I have to pep talk myself but I know that's my role is to speak my words, not to have my wife speak my words for me. That's one thing I have constantly worked on with myself is making sure my words are my words and my wife is not my translator."

Links from Today's Conversation

Advance Camp USA
Learn More About the DadAwesome Accelerator Group: Email awesome@dadawesome.org
Top 5 Podcast Moments of 2023 | Year in Review — The Craig Groeschel Leadership Podcast

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318 | Choosing Connection, Using Your Hands for Love, and Creating a Fatherhood Vision (Zack Blair) Feb 22, 2024

Show notes

For Zack Blair, walking in unconditional love is the foundation of joyful fatherhood. In this episode, he shares personal experiences and practical examples to show why connecting with your kids matters more than trying to be perfect. And ultimately, how it leads to a parenting approach grounded in thankfulness and love.

Key Takeaways

Walking in unconditional love is the source of joy and thankfulness.
How can your children one day remember your heart if you are not intentional to connect with theirs?
Use your hands to express love, not produce pain.
You need other men in your corner—not just for you, but also for your kids.

Zack Blair

Zack Blair is an author and the founding pastor of Hill City Church in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. He and his wife, Lauren, have been married for 17 years, have three children, and are foster parents.

Key Quotes

35:00 - "An apology, it goes so far with [your children]., Hey, dad's imperfect, but he's trying, and he's taking ownership in the areas that that he missed it. I tell my kids, I'm not going to be a perfect father. I'm going to do some things great. You're going to look back and you're going to say, man, that wasn't so great. Whatever we did great, carry it on. But whatever we didn't do great, fix it and keep on getting better."
39:53 - "When you hold your child and you look at them and you feel the pain of, maybe I didn't receive this or I don't know that I received that unconditional love. In every man where we look back on our life with regret, that's an area that if we dig deep and we we allow the Lord to heal and we open up to the right people, that will change our family's trajectory forever. A lot of guys will get stuck in the normal things that society talks about to distract us, but there's a part of us that's unhealed. If we can focus on that part and with kindness and curiosity, just go there and ask the Lord, Lord, when did I accept this lie? Or when did I develop this belief about myself? Or when did I experience this pain and God where were You in those moments? Even with help through counseling and and pastoral guidance, even when the Lord heals that it'll change everything and you will be set free to be the dad that you really want to be. So go there. Be brave enough to go there."

Links from Today's Conversation

Learn More About the DadAwesome Accelerator Group
The Father Code: Codes of a Connected Father by Zack Blair
Follow Zack Blair on Instagram
The Father Code YouTube Playlist

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317 | Memorizing Scripture, Cultivating Tenderness, and Intentional Parenting (Phil Comer) Feb 15, 2024

Show notes

Phil Comer wasn't raised with a faith background. So when his first son was born, he knew he had to get radically intentional if he was going to raise children who walk with God. In this episode, Phil shares the habits that helped him develop his newfound faith as a young father and launch his grown children into the world with success.

Key Takeaways

Men are designed and commanded to be tenderhearted, kind warriors.
No one can love their wife or be used by God as a father without the Holy Spirit.
Memorized Scripture carries with you through life, enables you to do battle, and brings you joy.
Even if all you do is quietly speak the Scripture out loud for several years, you will memorize it.
It's not what you say to your kids that instructs them; it's what they see from you.

Phil Comer

Phil Comer is a husband, father, and grandfather with 40 years of pastoral and counseling experience. After planting a church in 2004, Phil and his wife, Diane, went on to launch Intentional Parents International. The ministry focuses on equipping young parents and providing focused teaching in the spiritual training of children.

Key Quotes

25:57 - "We need to teach this to our kids. We need to model it for our kids, and we need to realize that we need it. When it comes to the memorizing part, we're supposed to meditate on Scripture. Now, I can do that by reading it, but what about when I'm out on a walk and I don't have my Bible on me? Anything I do have, I'm able to bring back up and chew on. That's really what that verse means, that meditating is chewing on something and that's where God comes in."
38:02 - "You can't be saying one thing and be living another. That will destroy your kids, and it will lead them away from Christ so quickly. If you are modeling a genuine, authentic faith, if you are a passionate Jesus follower, your kids will pick that up because values are caught more than they're taught. We always have to look at our life every day, am I getting more lukewarm? Am I losing my passion or am I growing in my passion? As long as we're the growing side of Christianity and the growing side of Jesus, our kids are going to pick it up."

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