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    Dad University Podcast

    Advice For Fathers on Parenting, Relationships, and Family Life

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    Copyright: © 2019

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    Latest Episodes:
    Regret Is Toxic, Learn How To Avoid It – Ep 112 Apr 25, 2017
    Show notes

    There are many people who have written or spoke on the topic of regret. In reading a few articles, there were social workers, hospice nurses, or people who are around individuals in the final days of their lives. There seem to be common themes around regret. If you talk to people with not a lot of time left, they will often use the phrase “I wish I had….” In order for us to learn how to avoid regret, it really does make sense to understand what people say when they are in the old age. Gary Vaynerchuck, the marketing and business expert I follow, has a few videos about regret. He says the same thing. If you want to get motivated and learn what not to do, go visit a nursing home and talk to 80 and 90-year-olds. They will tell you what they wish they would have done differently. When we are young, we are so occupied with day to day, we often don’t look at the big picture. The reality is that it’s hard to do. At least I can admit that for myself. One of the reasons I created this podcast was to remind myself of the big picture. What are the most important things? Let’s take a look at 7 of the major regrets that older people talk about: 1) I wish I had not spent so much time working. My mother used to say, “nobody on their deathbed ever said, “I should have spent more time at the office”. Yes, we often feel trapped. We feel we have to work in order to support the family. 2) I wish I had been more loving to the people who matter the most. This may be our spouse, our parents, our children, or even our friends. In …


    Strangers Are Not Bad – Tricky People Are – Dudes To Dads Ep 111 Apr 18, 2017
    Show notes

    Remember growing up we would always hear: “Don’t talk to strangers” or even better was the chant “Stranger Danger”. The problem is that most strangers are not dangerous. There are a few flaws with this method: 1) It is based on fear. Promoting fear is not good. 2) If we base it on how people look, it’s a form of profiling or prejudice. We don’t want to teach that. 3) The reality is that abductions or kidnappings are often done by people the child knows. 4) A child may be afraid to ask for help if they need it. I came across an article in which a woman had taught her kids to look out for “tricky people” instead of strangers. This lesson ultimately saved their life as they were approached by some people and senses that something wasn’t right. When you have kids, safety is a really big issue. You constantly worry about them being safe, where they are, who is around them, etc. However, we want our kids to be social and not live by fear. Being comfortable around people and being able to talk to people are important skills. This episode is designed for dads to be able to take this information and talk with their kids. I think it’s important we change the words we used. If you use “stranger”, you are left trying to teach them good strangers versus bad strangers. It can be confusing. When we use the term “tricky people” it really speaks to the type of person that is trying to manipulate them or could do something to them. So how do we teach our kids to identify tricky people? How do we teach them to be “street smart”? 1) It can be someone you don’t know, someone you know a little …


    Strangers Are Not Bad – Tricky People Are – Ep 111 Apr 18, 2017
    Show notes

    Remember growing up we would always hear: “Don’t talk to strangers” or even better was the chant “Stranger Danger”. The problem is that most strangers are not dangerous. There are a few flaws with this method: 1) It is based on fear. Promoting fear is not good. 2) If we base it on how people look, it’s a form of profiling or prejudice. We don’t want to teach that. 3) The reality is that abductions or kidnappings are often done by people the child knows. 4) A child may be afraid to ask for help if they need it. I came across an article in which a woman had taught her kids to look out for “tricky people” instead of strangers. This lesson ultimately saved their life as they were approached by some people and senses that something wasn’t right. When you have kids, safety is a really big issue. You constantly worry about them being safe, where they are, who is around them, etc. However, we want our kids to be social and not live by fear. Being comfortable around people and being able to talk to people are important skills. This episode is designed for dads to be able to take this information and talk with their kids. I think it’s important we change the words we used. If you use “stranger”, you are left trying to teach them good strangers versus bad strangers. It can be confusing. When we use the term “tricky people” it really speaks to the type of person that is trying to manipulate them or could do something to them. So how do we teach our kids to identify tricky people? How do we teach them to be “street smart”? 1) It can be someone you don’t know, someone you know a little …


    11 Reasons Why Young Children Misbehave & What To Do About it – Ep 110 Apr 11, 2017
    Show notes

    One of the most frustrating things about dealing with children is mis-behavior. In this Episode 110, we explore 11 reasons why young children misbehave and what to do about it. 1) They are tired / Put them to sleep 2) They want to assert their independence or control / Give them choices – would you like X or Y 3) They don’t understand the rules / Be sure to explain the rules, post them if you need to 4) They are bored / Ask them questions – instead of always being their entertainment – What is something you enjoy? 5) They lack the skills – they are young, their brain hasn’t yet developed that part or simply they just have not had enough practice / Teach them what they need to know 6) Your expectations are too high – is it normal child behavior? / lower or stop having expectations 7) They saw it somewhere else – friends or parents / Explain what you want to see not what you don’t want to see 8) They don’t know how to control their emotions – this is sort of a combination of many but they need to learn about the different kinds of emotions and how to deal with them / Teach them to be able to calm themselves, teach them it’s ok to have emotions but need to handle it appropriately 9) They are hungry / Make sure they eat, bring snacks, don’t go too long without food. 10) They want attention / Don’t give them the attention 11) They have been rewarded for bad behavior (they got negative attention) / Focus on rewarding positive behavior – listen to episode 109…


    11 Reasons Why Young Children Misbehave & What To Do About it – Dudes To Dads Ep 110 Apr 11, 2017
    Show notes

    One of the most frustrating things about dealing with children is mis-behavior. In this Episode 110, we explore 11 reasons why young children misbehave and what to do about it. 1) They are tired / Put them to sleep 2) They want to assert their independence or control / Give them choices – would you like X or Y 3) They don’t understand the rules / Be sure to explain the rules, post them if you need to 4) They are bored / Ask them questions – instead of always being their entertainment – What is something you enjoy? 5) They lack the skills – they are young, their brain hasn’t yet developed that part or simply they just have not had enough practice / Teach them what they need to know 6) Your expectations are too high – is it normal child behavior? / lower or stop having expectations 7) They saw it somewhere else – friends or parents / Explain what you want to see not what you don’t want to see 8) They don’t know how to control their emotions – this is sort of a combination of many but they need to learn about the different kinds of emotions and how to deal with them / Teach them to be able to calm themselves, teach them it’s ok to have emotions but need to handle it appropriately 9) They are hungry / Make sure they eat, bring snacks, don’t go too long without food. 10) They want attention / Don’t give them the attention 11) They have been rewarded for bad behavior (they got negative attention) / Focus on rewarding positive behavior – listen to episode 109…


    Can You Give Your Kids Too Much Attention? – Ep 109 Apr 04, 2017
    Show notes

    Who doesn’t like attention? The problem is that we as parents pay much more attention to our kids when they behave badly than when they are good. In episode 109 we look at the different kinds of attention and what to do about it. The reality is that our children misbehaving is OUR FAULT. There are 3 kinds of Attention: Positive Attention – This can be affection, praise. We typically do this when they are well behaved. We give them approval. Negative Attention – Giving them attention when the misbehave. This can be yelling, lectures, threats. This is still a reward. Let me repeat that: Negative attention is still a reward! It teaches them to interrupt you, annoy you, behave rudely, etc. No Attention The problem is that children want attention all the time. If they don’t get positive attention, they will still want it and negative attention provides that. We give so much more negative attention than positive. So the answer is to give positive attention and they will want more of that. – You and your brother are playing so nicely together – You should be really proud of yourself for reading that entire book – I really appreciate that you put your clothes away – It was very nice of you to let your sister choose the television show. In our meetup group, one of the dads was telling a story about how his 6-year-old daughter would often complain of a stomach ache. Of course, they would cater to her and give her attention. She has now come forward saying that her stomach didn’t really hurt. These are difficult situations because you can’t discount when a young child says they are in pain or struggling. It’s a hard situation. So we ask the question: Can you give …


    Can You Give Your Kids Too Much Attention? – Dudes To Dads Ep 109 Apr 04, 2017
    Show notes

    Who doesn’t like attention? The problem is that we as parents pay much more attention to our kids when they behave badly than when they are good. In episode 109 we look at the different kinds of attention and what to do about it. The reality is that our children misbehaving is OUR FAULT. There are 3 kinds of Attention: Positive Attention – This can be affection, praise. We typically do this when they are well behaved. We give them approval. Negative Attention – Giving them attention when the misbehave. This can be yelling, lectures, threats. This is still a reward. Let me repeat that: Negative attention is still a reward! It teaches them to interrupt you, annoy you, behave rudely, etc. No Attention The problem is that children want attention all the time. If they don’t get positive attention, they will still want it and negative attention provides that. We give so much more negative attention than positive. So the answer is to give positive attention and they will want more of that. – You and your brother are playing so nicely together – You should be really proud of yourself for reading that entire book – I really appreciate that you put your clothes away – It was very nice of you to let your sister choose the television show. In our meetup group, one of the dads was telling a story about how his 6-year-old daughter would often complain of a stomach ache. Of course, they would cater to her and give her attention. She has now come forward saying that her stomach didn’t really hurt. These are difficult situations because you can’t discount when a young child says they are in pain or struggling. It’s a hard situation. So we ask the question: Can you give …


    Fitness for Dads – Lose Weight & Get In Shape With Guest Fitness Pro Max Wettstein – Dudes To Dads Ep 108 Mar 29, 2017
    Show notes

    For Episode 108, we wanted to help dads with getting in shape and being healthy. We brought in Fitness Professional Max Wettstein to discuss some tips on how to stay in shape, eat well, and overall live a healthy lifestyle. Here are some accomplishments of Max: - Max is an airline pilot & Captain at JetBlue Airways. - He is a Fitness Professional - He's been on the cover of Men's Health magazine & other fitness mags over 25 times, - He's been a consultant to a major supplement company (Nature's Sunshine) - He's a Personal Trainer - He's published a book on the holistic-approach to fat-loss - He's a staff-writer on fitness for several magazines - He's a YouTuber & fitness-blogger. - However the most important thing that qualifies him to talk about this topic: he is the father of 2 amazing girls: age 5 and 13. - He's also a full time coach to his oldest daughter, who is a professional skateboarder at age 13. Probably the single biggest obstacle for people being healthy or getting in shape is excuses. However if you are not unhappy about your weight, how you look, or how you feel, and your not complaining, then you win. This episode may not be valuable to you. However, if you want to be and look healthier, feel better, maybe want to lose a few pounds, and/or want your kids to learn about healthy choices, then stay with us. There are tons of good excuses people have on why they aren't as healthy as they should be or carrying a little extra weight. We went over these excuses with Max and got his take on them: 1. Not enough time/too busy - Playing with kids can be exercise. You workout along side your kids. 2. Can’t afford it - Gymless, using your own bodyweight. Is eating healthy more expensive? 3. Don’t enjoy it - find something you enjoy, a sport, foods. Also, do it for the goal or to show your kids. When you see results, you will be happy. It also releases hormones. 4. Some body part hurts - don't have to go too hard, walking, yoga, stretching, tai chi. There are many little or no impact things things to simply get you moving. 5. I travel too much - Using your own body weight, quick workouts, finding healthy food. Max mentions 2 major pitfalls for dads: 1) Unplanned calories (eating kids foods if they don't eat it) 2) More treats in the house Max then offers some recommendations to improve your health: 1) Reduce/eliminate sugar - This is a hard one as sugar is really an addiction. However doing this seems like it's the #1 biggest impact. 2) Drink more water - Replace soft drinks with soda water and flavored drops. There are numerous companies that make flavored drops 3) Find something you enjoy - You skateboard, surf, or do other activities outdoors. I like the consistency and ease of going to the gym regularly. 4) Start small - Be realistic. Don't try to be a marathon runner or Mr Olympia right out of the gate. Make small goals so you can actually achieve them. If you don't move at all, start with walking. You can even go for a family walk or go with your child. If your inclined to lift weights, start with a short 10-30 minute routine to get you going. What's motivating is when you start seeing results, you'll want to keep going. 5) Be consistent - Make it part of your family lifestyle. Instead of the fmaily watching a movie, go for a family walk, or a family bike ride. We thank Max for joining in the conversation. If you would like more info on him or to get in contact: Website: http://maxwettsteinfitness.com YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/maxewiii Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/maxwettstein/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/max_wettstein


    14 Easy & Inexpensive Things You Can Do For Your Wife to Score Points – Ep 107 Mar 21, 2017
    Show notes

    Who doesn’t like banking some extra points? While they may go fast, extra points are good karma. There are tons of lists and ideas out there. I have compiled some of my favorites for this episode 107. Here are some easy and inexpensive ways to do things for your woman: 1) Buy her flowers – doesn’t need to be roses or expensive. You don’t need to go to a fancy flower shop either. I know near us, you can get a small bouquet for $7-10 at a grocery store. There are all kinds of options. Bring them home from work for no reason other than saying I love you. Want to score even more points, if she works, have then sent to her work. Women love being appreciated in front of other women. 2) Massage her feet – While often guys will use massage as a way to lead to sex, this is a massage just for the sake of it. Get some lotion. I highly recommend coconut oil. It’s inexpensive and feels good in your hands too. 3) Do a chore or task that is usually hers – For example, if she typically makes dinner, let he know in advance that you will be taking care of dinner tonight and you want her to relax. If you can’t make something, order take out. If she handles laundry, do a load of laundry and offer her the break. 4) Write her a hand note – Express how much you appreciate her and love her. Put the note somewhere where she gets to find it. 5) Make a coupon book – If you want to go bigger, make a coupon book of however many things you want, and allow her to cash those in. There are also some cool, cheap ones …


    14 Easy & Inexpensive Things You Can Do For Your Wife to Score Points – Dudes To Dads Ep 107 Mar 21, 2017
    Show notes

    Who doesn’t like banking some extra points? While they may go fast, extra points are good karma. There are tons of lists and ideas out there. I have compiled some of my favorites for this episode 107. Here are some easy and inexpensive ways to do things for your woman: 1) Buy her flowers – doesn’t need to be roses or expensive. You don’t need to go to a fancy flower shop either. I know near us, you can get a small bouquet for $7-10 at a grocery store. There are all kinds of options. Bring them home from work for no reason other than saying I love you. Want to score even more points, if she works, have then sent to her work. Women love being appreciated in front of other women. 2) Massage her feet – While often guys will use massage as a way to lead to sex, this is a massage just for the sake of it. Get some lotion. I highly recommend coconut oil. It’s inexpensive and feels good in your hands too. 3) Do a chore or task that is usually hers – For example, if she typically makes dinner, let he know in advance that you will be taking care of dinner tonight and you want her to relax. If you can’t make something, order take out. If she handles laundry, do a load of laundry and offer her the break. 4) Write her a hand note – Express how much you appreciate her and love her. Put the note somewhere where she gets to find it. 5) Make a coupon book – If you want to go bigger, make a coupon book of however many things you want, and allow her to cash those in. There are also some cool, cheap ones …


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