Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't

Latest Episodes:

A Conversation Having Nothing To Do With Plants Oct 27, 2021

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Mike Brodie is a photographer, truck driver, artist, freight train rider, and diesel mechanic. In this episode we sit down with him to talk about modern American culture, youth subcultures, travel, and the human condition.

South Africa Follow Up, Rantings, Etc. Oct 08, 2021

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In this episode we talk about some of the plant families found in South Africa and the ecological success of the Mesembryanthemaceae, as well as what the hell is going on with the mess of valvate tepals, adnate anthers, and pollen presenters that is a Protea flowerhead...but first, we dapple 20 minutes of cultural observations into the mix.

2 hours of South Africa Ranting Sep 26, 2021

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One long disjointed rant between three filthy botanists covering the past three weeks of botanic surveys/rectal exams in the Northern and Western Cape Provinces of South Africa.

Monocot Taxonomic Clusterf*ck Sep 02, 2021

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In this episode we talk with Chris Pires, Chief Science Officer at the New York Botanic Garden, about the taxonomic clusterf*ck that is the order Asparagales - the order of the Iris Family, the Orchid Family, the Agave Family, the Onion/Amaryllis Family, and many more obscure families located on distant and disjunct parts of the world. We also talk about how analyzing DNA made it possible to sort out this mess as well as where the larger clade of Monocots themselves fits into the flowering plant tree of life. Disjointed ranting in this episode notably comes AFTER the podcast guess to make it easier for those who might just be interested primarily in the subject of today's episode.

Deconstructing Taxonomy Aug 18, 2021

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Today's episode is inspired by the bRaVE individuals (all of us) who participated in the massive back-and-forth online shitposting last week regarding the inherent colonialism of using the binomial naming system of taxonomy, plant systematics and the study of evolutionary relationships among plant taxa.
This episode sponsored by Decolonial Colon Cleanse, the at-home kit for decolonizing Colo-rectal and gastrointestinal issues. Order online at www.DecolonialRectum.com

Intro to the Rise of Flowering Plants Jul 31, 2021

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In this episode we speak with Peter Raven, former director of the Missouri Botanical Garden, about our current understanding of the rise of angiosperms and what the floristic landscape may have looked like prior to their appearance in the fossil record.

Wyoming Rare Plants with Walt Fertig Jul 18, 2021

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A criminally underrated state for rare plants and plant ecology, Wyoming has a number of rare taxa and bizarre habitats. In this episode we talk with a botanist who spent twenty years in the state documenting, inventorying and becoming acquainted with the flora in the high deserts and alpine plant communities. We speak specifically about the Yellowstone Abronia, Abronia ammophila; the Blowout Penstemon, Penstemon haydenii; and the Desert Yellowhead, Yermo xanthocephalus, as well as about conservation, climate change and Western Botany in general.

Yellowstone Botany & Wyoming Rare Plants Jul 13, 2021

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Plants that grow on sinter (silica) and travertine (calcium carbonate) deposits of hot springs, a really bizarre central Wyoming endemic known from only two locations (Yermo xanthocephalus) whose closest relatives occur in the prairies of the Midwest, and many other topics plus the usual 90 minutes of unattenuated disjointed ranting.

Hiking Through The Great Basin w/ Matt Berger Jul 05, 2021

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In this episode we have an hour long conversation with Matt Berger about a loop "trail" (there actually was no trail save for that created by wild horses) created through the mountain ranges of the Great Basin in Central Nevada and the plans seen along the way along with information on how anybody can do these long-distance hikes (especially when everything else in life has gone to shit).
Follow Matt on Instagram @sheriff_woody_pct and on Inaturalist via username Sheriff_Woody_PCT

Buckwheats and Bail Bonds Jun 30, 2021

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This episode begins with a 56 minute rant concerning the crime spree caused by the meeting of the Eriogonum Society in Elko, Nevada, followed by rants on the silica "sinter" deposits occurring throughout Nothern Nevada as a result of the intermittent series of hot springs and geothermal activity, which are in turn a result of the extensional tectonics and the fact that Reno and Salt Lake City are moving away from each other and the crust is stretching and thinning. The last seven minutes before our conversation with Ben Grady starts include a rant on illegal squatted gardens and how activists and anarchists tend to consistently be some of the cheapest people on the planet.