Creating a Family: Talk about Adoption, Foster & Kinship Care

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How Trauma Impacts a Child’s Development Nov 10, 2021

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Trauma can impact almost every single aspect of a child's development. But there are things parents can do to buffer that impact. We talk with Brett Loftis, CEO of Crossnore Communities for Children and Dr. Dawn O'Malley, Crossnore's Senior Director of Clinical Services.
In this episode, we cover:

How can trauma impact a child’s attachment and relationships?
- How does this impact them in childhood, adolescence, and adulthood?
How can trauma affect a child’s physical development or brain development?
How can trauma impact a child’s emotional development?
- Self-regulation
- Disassociation
How does trauma impact the way the child sees and values herself?
How can trauma affect a child’s behavior?
How can trauma impact a child’s ability to learn?
What are some of the long-term physical health consequences of having been exposed to trauma as a child?
What can parents and other adults do to build resilience in our kids to help withstand some of the impacts of trauma?

This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

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Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.
Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

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Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Decisions To Be Made at Egg Retrieval Nov 03, 2021

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We talk with Corey Burke, an embryologist and Tissue Bank Director at Cryos International-USA and Dr. Mark Trolice, Reproductive Endocrinologist and Director of The IVF Center in Orlando and Professor of Obstetrics & Gynecology at the University of Central Florida College of Medicine, and author of The Fertility Doctor's Guide to Overcoming Infertility about decisions doctors and patient have to make concerning eggs or embryos after retrieval.
In this episode, we cover:

Overview of the IVF Process.
What determines how many eggs will be produced?
What number of eggs is ideal for an egg retrieval as part of IVF? Are more eggs always better?
Once eggs are retrieved, one of the choices a patient and doctor have to make is whether to freeze eggs vs. embryos.
Compare the challenges between freezing eggs vs freezing embryos.
How does vitrification differ from other methods of freezing?
What is the thaw rate success for frozen eggs compared to frozen embryos?
Why are eggs more difficult to vitrify than embryos?
Does the quality of the eggs retrieved factor into the decision?
What are the advantages to the patient of freezing eggs rather than embryos?
What are the advantages to the patient of freezing embryos rather than eggs?
How many eggs is usually recommended for a woman to freeze to have a good chance of being able to create a viable embryo?
Can genetic testing be done on eggs?
How long can human eggs remain viable if frozen vs. the viability of frozen embryos?
If embryos are created, one of the choices a patient and doctor have to make is whether to transfer fresh or frozen embryos.
How does genetic testing impact fresh vs frozen?
What are the advantages to the patient of transferring fresh embryos?
What are the advantages to the patient of transferring frozen embryos?

This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire infertility patients and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following expert-based content:

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Parental Leave: What you Need to Know Before You Adopt or Foster Oct 27, 2021

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Are adoptive parents eligible for parental leave? What about foster parents or kinship parents? We talk with Dr. Amy Beacom and Sue Campbell, with the Center for Parental Leave Leadership and co-authors of The Parental Leave Playbook.
In this episode, we cover:

What are the laws and rules surrounding parental leave in the US?
Who is eligible for parental leave under the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA)?
Parental leave on the company level.
How does parental leave differ from maternity leave or paternity leave?
Policies that require employees to pay back their parental leave if they do not stay employed with the company/organization for a certain period of time.
How does this differ from other countries?
Are the laws/rules different for mothers and fathers? Are they gender neutral?
Do you receive your salary when you are on parental leave?
Does parental leave differ for someone adopting a child?
Are adoptive families protected under the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA)?
Are birth mothers eligible for parental leave?
Does there have to be a legal relationship between the parent and the child? Does parental leave differ for someone fostering a child? Are you eligible for parental leave with every new foster placement?
Can kinship caregivers receive parental leave?
The Parental Leave Playbook lays out a process for approaching parental leave in three phases: preparing for your leave, during leave, and returning from leave.
What steps should you take to be successful in each phase?

To support the Paid Leave for All Act
This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

Weekly podcasts
Weekly articles/blog posts
Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Please leave us a rating or review RateThisPodcast.com/creatingafamily

Support the show

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A Guide to Raising Your Grandchild Oct 20, 2021

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We talk about raising your grandkids with Christine Adamec, coauthor with Dr. Andrew Adesman, of The Grandfamily Guidebook. She and her husband have been raising their teenage grandson since his infancy.
In this episode, we cover:

Why are grandparent led families increasing?
What are some common emotions that grandparents and other kin experience when they realize that they need to step in and raise their grandchildren or other kin?
What type of decisions should you make about legal custody or permanency? How to protect your grandchild? How to enroll them in school? How to be able to get medical and mental health care for them? How to prevent the child’s parents from removing the child from your home? Becoming a foster parent? A will?
What are some of the strains that grandparents can experience with their children (the parents of their grandchildren)?
How to navigate the relationship with your adult child?
Explaining the situation to the child? (“Why am I living with you and not my parents?”)
Raising kids that likely experience trauma, including prenatal exposure.
Adjusting to parenting in this new time.
Some of the joys of raising your grandchild.

Resources:

AARP has a Benefits QuickLINK tool to find out if you or your grandchild may qualify for 15 public benefits — 10 for adults and families and five for children.
Creating a Family podcast: Helping Parents & Kids Manage Phones, Internet, & Gaming

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Talking With Your Adopted or Foster Child About the Hard Parts of Their Story Oct 13, 2021

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Talking with your adopted or foster child about the hard parts of their story can feel like a daunting task. Should you tell your child that her birth father is in jail or that her birth mother is addicted to drugs, or that she was conceived by rape? If so, how in the world do you share this news. We talk with Lesli Johnson, an EMDR therapist who specializes in adoption and foster care and an adult adoptee; and Susan Myers, a licensed Master Social Worker with Adoptions from the Heart Adoption Agency with offices throughout the northeast.
In this episode, we cover:

Should you tell your child these difficult parts of their history?
Talking about the hard parts of adoption
How should you tell your child these hard parts of their background?
How do you lay the groundwork with young children in order to fill in the details later?
By what age should you have shared all of your child’s story with him?
Give specific examples of how a conversation might go with a preschooler, and how would you fill in the gaps for a 6 year old, 10, 13 year old, etc.
- Child abuse
- Addiction
- Parent in jail
Can you use a lifebook to talk about rape, imprisonment, drug and alcohol addiction?
What is a lifebook and what should be included in a lifebook?
How to use a lifebook when there is jail, rape, abuse, etc in the child’s story?
Specifically, how should parents tell their child that they were conceived during a rape?
Oversharing can happen with both parents and with children.
It’s tempting when your child is an infant to tell people private information. Why should foster and adoptive parents avoid this?
When might it be important to share some details of the child’s background?
How do you help your child understand how much of his story he should share with others outside the family?
How can adoptive parents help their children understand that they are more than the hard parts of their history and that they are not doomed to repeat their birth parents’ mistakes?

Additional Resources:

Telling the Truth to Your Adopted or Foster Child: Making Sense of the Past, by Betsy Keefer and Jayne E. Schooler

Talking with Children about Difficult History, by Holly van Gulden

Lifebooks: Creating a Treasure for the Adopted Child (2nd Edition September 21, 2011), by Beth O'Malley M.Ed

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Primary Ovarian Insufficiency Oct 06, 2021

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Primary Ovarian Insufficiency is a difficult and little understood diagnosis for infertility with ramifications for your general health as well as for your fertility. We talk with Dr. Alex Quaas, a Board Certified Reproductive Endocrinologist with Reproductive Partners of San Diego and an Associate Professor at UCSD.
In this episode, we cover:

What is Primary Ovarian Insufficiency (POI)?
Is there a difference between the labels/diagnoses - Primary Ovarian Insufficiency, Premature Ovarian Failure, Premature Menopause?
What are the symptoms (other than an inability to get pregnant)?
Is there a decrease in egg quality and increase chromosomal abnormalities?
How is POI diagnosed?
How does the diagnosis differ from PCOS?
What causes primary ovarian insufficiency?
Is there any correlation between POI and taking Accutane (a treatment for acne) as a teen?
Is there a link between premature ovarian failure and the HPV vaccine (Gardasil or Cervarix)?
Can losing one ovary lead to Primary Ovarian Insufficiency?
Are those with autoimmune diseases more susceptible to POI?
Can IVF lead to Primary Ovarian Insufficiency? Is there any evidence that aggressive stimulation of the ovaries during a typical IVF cycle can contribute to POI?
How effective is IVF with woman with Primary Ovarian Insufficiency?
What are the odds of a spontaneous pregnancy for a woman with POI?
What is the role of the infertility nurse in helping women with POI?
Is there a medical way to slow down the diminution of ovarian egg reserves?
Are their lifestyle choices that contribute to POI or contribute to increasing a woman’s ovarian reserves?
Are there supplements or vitamins that help improve fertility for women with Primary Ovarian Insufficiency?
Has alternative medical approaches or Eastern Medicine been effective with increasing fertility for women with POI?
What are the other health implications for women with Primary Ovarian Insufficiency?

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How to Afford Adoption Sep 29, 2021

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What are some tried and true ways to afford adoption? In this episode, we talk with Julie Gumm, author of You Can Adopt Without Debt: Creative Ways to Cover the Cost of Adoption. We cover ways to find “extra” money that you can put towards your adoption, ideas for increasing your savings, and reasons to be cautious about asking for donations to pay for an adoption.
In this episode, we cover:

How much do adoptions cost for families adopting in the US?
Julie’s story of how they afforded to adopt
What are the different options for paying for an adoption? Savings, second job, sell things, grants, fundraise, ask for money from family and friends
How to effectively save money? - “Start with the money you already have”
How long in advance do you need to start?
Federal Adoption Tax Credit State Adoption Tax Credit, Adoption Employee Benefits
Second job and freelance ideas
Downside of adding additional work to your schedule
Selling items you have but don’t use much or don’t need
Fundraising to help pay for an adoption. Controversial in some adoption circles
Difference between offering a service or event vs. asking for money
Things to be aware of when deciding on how to fundraise for adoption. Dangers of oversharing your child’s story in order to raise money

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Family Building Challenges for Military Families: Adoption, IVF & Fostering Sep 22, 2021

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We talk about the challenges of adopting, fostering, IVF, or third-party reproduction while being in the military. We talk with the co-founders of the Military Family Building Coalition, Katy Bell Hendrickson and Ellen Gustafson.
In this episode, we cover:

What are the challenges of being in the military and trying to adopt?
What are the challenges of being in the military when seeking fertility treatment
Military health insurance: Tri Care
Military Family Building Coalition https://www.militaryfamilybuilding.org/
What does Military Family Building Coalition do?

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Kinship Caregivers & The Hidden Foster Care System Sep 15, 2021

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Kinship caregivers (primarily grandparents raising their grandchildren) are often functioning as a shadow foster care system. We talk with Josh Gupta-Kagan, a Professor of Law at the University of South Carolina School of Law and author of America’s Hidden Foster Care System in the Stanford Law Review, and Karissa Phelps, a Stoneleigh Emerging Leader Fellow at Temple Legal Aid, where she provides legal representation and services to kinship caregivers.
In this episode, we cover:

In many cases, child protection agencies induce parents to transfer physical custody of their children to kinship caregivers by threatening to place the children in foster care.
How often does this happen?
Why do you call this the “hidden” foster care system?
Generally speaking, don’t we consider it best practice for kids to remain with extended family? So why is this a problem? Is it inherently coercive?
What are the advantages to encouraging placement with kin before they enter the formal foster care system?
What are the risks?
If this transfer takes place outside of the system, how long does it last? How can children go home? Who decides?
How does this differ from informal kinship care?
How does The Family First Prevention Services Act of 2018 contribute to the “hidden foster care system”?
Do you see kinship placements increasing?
What are child welfare agencies doing to support kinship families?
Follow the money: Is it less expensive for agencies to place with kin rather than unrelated foster parents?
How is foster care funded?
What is the status of kinship navigator programs?
How can we best support kinship families?
What do you see as the biggest challenges to kinship families?

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The Traumatic Impact of Racism Sep 08, 2021

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The trauma of racism impacts our children's physical and emotional health. In this episode, we talk with Dr. Roger Harrison, a clinical assistant professor of pediatrics at Sidney Kimmel Medical College at Thomas Jefferson University and a pediatric psychologist in the Division of Behavioral Health at Nemours/Alfred I DuPont Hospital for Children; Dr. Lonna Gordon, the Division Chief of Adolescent Medicine at Nemours Children’s Hospital in Florida. She is board certified in pediatrics, adolescent medicine and obesity medicine; and Cindy Bo, Senior Vice President, Delaware Valley Strategy and Business Development and Interim DRIVE Enterprise Leader.
In this episode, we cover:
We talk a lot about the impact of trauma on children and often we do so in the context of neglect, loss, abuse, removal from biological family, and prenatal exposure. Today we are going to expand the concept of trauma to include the impacts of racism.

What is racism and what are the different forms it can take?
Examples of the different types of racism.
Does racism impact the physical health of minorities?
Racism hurting the emotional health of minorities.
In other forms of trauma we can see that the impact on the child varies depending on many factors, such as who was responsible for inflicting the trauma and that persons relationship to the child, the child’s age, and the child’s basic temperament. Is the same true for the traumatic impacts of racism?
Internalized racism
Cumulative impact of different types of trauma.
Are children of color being raised by white parents more vulnerable to the traumatic impacts of racism?
Does the trauma of racism differ depending on the race or ethnicity of the child or person? Model minority?
Are non-minority children also impacted negatively by racism?
How can we help children of color cope with racism and not be unduly impacted by the trauma?
Suggested books and activities.