Creating a Family: Talk about Adoption, Foster & Kinship Care

Latest Episodes:

Attachment Dance - Weekend Wisdom May 24, 2025

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Question: For three months now, we’ve been fostering our 17-year-old son, with the intention of adopting. My question is regarding attachment. How can you tell if the child is setting up boundaries or testing you to see how hard you’ll pursue/run after them?

Resources:

Creating and Cultivating Attachment (Resource page)
Helping a Child Heal from Trauma (Resource page)
Transitioning a Child to Your Home (Resource page)

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Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.
Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

Weekly podcasts
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Resource pages on all aspects of family building

How to Engage Kinship Caregivers May 21, 2025

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Are you a professional working with kinship caregivers? You need to listen to this interview with Dr. Tyreasa Washington, is a nationally and internationally recognized scholar specializing in kinship care families (e.g., grandparents raising grandchildren). She is a Distinguished Senior Scholar for Child Welfare at Child Trends, the leading research organization in the United States focused solely on improving the lives of children, youth, and families.

In this episode, we discuss:

Advantages of keeping children with extended family when their parents are not able to raise them.
How do kids who are raised temporarily or permanently by relatives fare compared to kids placed with unknown foster parents?
One of the biggest questions we receive from professionals is how to engage kinship caregivers. They tell us that they set up programs to support kinship caregivers, but few show up. This seems universal. Why does this happen?
We also hear about institutional trauma-(law enforcement struggles/foster care system struggles- leads to lack of trust--not feeling safe in their community, not trusting DSS.) How does this impact kinship caregivers? How does it impact those of us trying to serve them?
What types of support are the most helpful?
What are some cultural differences you've observed in Black relatives raising children within the family, and how do these differences impact how professionals interact with kin raising children?
What have you found in your research on the impact of caregiving on the health of kinship caregivers?
Need for training for kinship caregivers.
How can professionals support self-care with folks who are so busy just getting by?

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Dealing with a Long Wait When Adopting - Weekend Wisdom May 17, 2025

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Question: How can prospective parents manage their thoughts and emotions while waiting to be matched with a child (especially in cases where the waiting period is a long one)?

Resources:

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Evaluating Risk Factors in Foster Care Adoption May 14, 2025

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Are you considering adopting from foster care or becoming a foster parent? Join us to discuss this topic with Dr. Lindsay Terrell, a pediatrician and Assistant Professor in the Department of Pediatrics at Duke University Medical Center, as well as the Clinical Director of their Foster Care Clinic. She and her husband are licensed foster parents.

In this episode, we discuss:

The common risk factors that foster parents and those wanting to adopt from foster care need to be aware of include physical, emotional, developmental, educational, and behavioral problems rooted in childhood adversity and trauma.
What types of trauma are foster kids exposed to?
What percentage of children in foster care have been exposed to drugs or alcohol prenatally? Creating a Family’s Prenatal Substance Exposure Workshop for Parents
Impact of trauma on physical health.
- Foster parents and caseworkers often have little information about prior health history.
Other common physical health issues that are common in kids in foster care that are not necessarily connected to trauma.
Impact of trauma on mental health.
- Those areas of the brain most affected by trauma, especially early trauma, are those involved in stress response, emotional regulation, attention, cognition, executive function, and memory.
- What types of behaviors are common as a result of trauma?
Medication and over-medication of foster children and youth.
- Research has found that the average number of psychiatric diagnoses and psychotropic medications prescribed were significantly greater for youth and children in foster care.
- Children in foster care are likely to be kept on them longer than other Medicaid-enrolled children who are not in foster care.
- What are psychotropic drugs, and why are they so often prescribed for children in foster care?
Who has the authority to make healthcare decisions for foster children and youth?
Sleep issues common to children in foster care.
Food issues common to children in foster care.
Impact of trauma on a foster child’s education.
- Children in foster care need educational advocates.
Risk factors to consider for children already in the home.
Children can heal, and foster parents can make a difference!

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What the Heck is Happening with the Adoption Tax Credit? - Weekend Wisdom May 10, 2025

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Question: On the 2025 Adoption Tax Credit Episode, it was mentioned that they thought this would possibly be the year it becomes refundable. Does that only apply to finalizations in 2025, or will it make previous adoptions (if within the 5-year tax credit range) refundable too? For example, an adoption finalized in 2023 but we haven’t used all of the tax credit available. Does the remaining amount become refundable, too? ~Oklahoma City, OK

Resources:

Understanding the Adoption Tax Credit
AdoptionTaxCredit.org
Josh Kroll, Families Rising (joshk@wearefamiliesrising.org)

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What's It Like When Your Parents Decide to Foster May 07, 2025

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Are you considering fostering but are concerned about how it impacts the kids already living in your home? Join us for a conversation with Michelle Snyder, a foster, adoptive, and bio mom, and her son, Ben, to hear their stories of fostering and how it impacted their family. They are co-authors of Beyond Blood: How Being a Foster Brother Shattered My World and Rebuilt It.

In this episode, we discuss:

Ben - How old were you when your parents sat you down to talk about fostering?
- Do you remember how it felt to consider that a child could not safely live with his or her family?
- What do you remember about the time when your family was preparing, taking classes, getting licensed, etc.?
Michelle - When you and your husband felt the desire to begin fostering, what were your biggest concerns?
- What considerations about fostering gave you pause, considering you had two young kids already in your home?
- How did you and your husband handle those concerns or issues?
Ben - Can you briefly share the story of your family’s first placement? We’d love to also hear how you think it impacted you and what you took from that experience for the coming placements.
Ben - What are some of the benefits or advantages you have seen in your development to young adulthood that you can directly trace to being part of this fostering and adoption journey?
Character traits your family developed as you faced those challenges. Can you share a short example for a couple of them?
- Compassion
- Perseverance
- Ability to Adapt/Change
- Perspective
Ben’s diagnoses (“twice exceptional”):
- What did you learn about yourself in that process?
- How do you feel your unique combination of diagnoses equipped you well for being a foster brother?
Saying no to a placement
- Learning how to say no when you know it’s not the right time or circumstance to say yes to a foster placement? How did you develop that skill?
- Ben, what did you learn from your parents over the years about the value of knowing when to say yes, and when it’s okay to say no?
The value of respite for your family and offering it to other foster families
What practical tips can families implement to prepare for a new placement of a foster, newly adopted, or relative child in their home?

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De-escalation in the Heat of the Moment - Weekend Wisdom May 03, 2025

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Question: How do I respond in the moment when my child is melting down, including physical or verbal aggression?

Resources:

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Embryo Donation / Embryo Adoption Apr 30, 2025

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Have you thought about adopting a baby, but long for the experience of being pregnant, or want to control the intrauterine environment? Join us for this fascinating discussion about embryo donation/adoption with Dr. Craig Sweet with Embryo Donation International, Mark Mellinger with the National Embryo Donation Center, and Beth Button with the Snowflakes Embryo Adoption Program.

In this episode, we discuss:

The IVF process.
Remaining embryos.
Donating to another person.
How to find embryos available for donation?
What is the medical process of embryo donation/embryo adoption?
What is the success rate of having a baby through a donated embryo? What factors influence the success rate?
What percentage of donated embryos are created via donor egg or sperm?
What information is available about the embryos and the donors?
Can you have twins via embryo donation if that is your preference?
Does it matter how long they’ve been frozen?
Are pregnancies conceived through donated embryos considered high-risk?
Are there long-term health risks for children conceived via frozen embryos?
What is the legal process for embryo donation/embryo adoption?
- Academy of Adoption & Assisted Reproduction Attorneys
Is there a matching process? Do you have a choice regarding what embryos you receive?
Do the people who donate the embryo continue to have a legal connection to the child? Do they have legal rights to see the child, contact the child, or take the child back?
Openness after the birth? What is the relationship between the embryo donor and the person who receives the embryo and the child conceived?
Is the contact information shared between both parties?
How much does embryo donation/embryo adoption cost?
What factors influence the cost?
Can you use your local infertility clinic to perform the transfer?
LGBTQ+ and single parents
What should you consider when choosing a clinic or organization to facilitate embryo donation/ adoption?
How to talk with children conceived through embryo donation/embryo adoption about their conception?

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Will I Get to Choose the Name of My Adopted Baby? - Weekend Wisdom Apr 26, 2025

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Question: Is it important to keep a young child or baby’s birth-given name? How often, if ever, do expectant mothers let adopting parents name the baby in private adoptions?

Resources:

Understanding the Birth Parent's Experience
Open Adoption
Creating a Family Online Facebook Support Group

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Raising Kids for a Lifelong Parent/Child Bond Apr 23, 2025

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Do you want to raise kids who you will like and want to hang out with as adults? Listen to this interview with Dr. Ginsburg, a pediatrician at Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia and professor of pediatrics at U Penn’s Perelman School of Medicine. He is the author of Lighthouse Parenting: Raising Your Child With Loving Guidance for a Lifelong Bond, and the founder of the Center for Parent and Teen Communication.

In this episode, we discuss:

Definition of Lighthouse Parenting (7 key elements):
1. Stability
2. Modeling & Knowing
3. Communicating
4. Protecting
5. Resilience & Thriving
6. Preparation
7. Reliability
Benefits of Lighthouse/Balanced Parenting
Misunderstanding of attachment/trauma-sensitive parenting as permissive parenting.
Self-care as the foundation of Lighthouse Parenting, “Stability: Finding Your Footing.” Why start there? Why is self-care critical to being a balanced parent?
6 key elements of self-care and examples of how each might look for parents and caregivers who feel they cannot prioritize self-care:
- Love and friendships
- Sleep
- Exercise/Movement
- Relaxation strategies
- Express emotions
- Recognize and reach for support
Offer 1 or 2 practical tips for parenting with this lifelong bond in mind for parents with:
- Elementary-aged kids
- Tweens and teens
- Young adults (college or early career age)

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