Creating a Family: Talk about Adoption, Foster & Kinship Care

Latest Episodes:

Tips to Manage Bedwetting and Stooling Accidents - Weekend Wisdom Jun 28, 2025

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Question: A listener wrote in asking about encopresis and enuresis. These tips are for handling bedwetting or soiling accidents once your child is successfully potty trained.

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Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.
Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

Weekly podcasts
Weekly articles/blog posts
Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Building Rhythms of Self-Care Into Our Parenting with Nicole Barlow Jun 25, 2025

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How do you define self-care? Are you establishing a routine of self-care that supports you to meet your kid's needs? Nicole Barlow joins the podcast to discuss how we think about self-care, why it's crucial, and how to create rhythms of self-care in our homes. She is a certified wellness coach, TBRI® Practitioner, and parent trainer for foster and adoptive parents.

In this episode, we discuss:

Re-define self-care
Why is self-care crucial for parents and caregivers?
Why do so many of us resist or neglect self-care?
What are some of the benefits of a well-rounded approach to self-care that might move the needle for someone who says, “I’m too busy…” or “Self-care is selfish, etc.”
What are some of the indicators we might identify in our lives that say we should focus on our wellbeing more intently?
Framing a holistic approach to self-care:
- Physical wellness
  - Emotional & Mental wellness
Spiritual wellness
Where does one start if we’ve never established regular self-care routines?
How can we build from that starting place into overall rhythms of self-care?
Where do practices like meal planning, budgeting, and home management fit into the picture?
What about socialization, building a support network, engaging in respite, etc.?
What do you recommend to parents and caregivers who look up one day and find themselves isolated or without a solid support network?
Where do they start building or re-building that for themselves?
Practical advice to start and maintain a self-care routine
- Walk every day
  - Boost the benefit by walking with a friend
  - Boost the benefit by engaging in quiet time, self-reflection, prayer, etc.
- Engage in strength training
  - Building muscle aids the body in processing stress
- Eat whole foods
  - Nourishing your body aids in regulating and processing stress

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Black Parents Adopting a White Child - Weekend Wisdom Jun 21, 2025

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Question: Today's question is about black parents adopting a white child. This was a question we received from a survey we sent out to issues that our audience wished that we would address.

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How People of Faith Can Support Vulnerable Kids and Families Jun 18, 2025

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How can we get people of faith more involved in helping vulnerable kids and families and supporting foster and kinship families? Join our discussion with Jason Johnson and Shmuly Yanklowitz. Pastor Johnson is with The Christian Alliance for Orphans (CAFO) and is both a foster and adoptive dad. Rabbi Shmuly Yanklowitz is the Founder & President of YATOM: The Jewish Foster & Adoption Network. Rabbi Yanklowitz has twice been named one of America’s Top Rabbis by Newsweek and is a foster dad.

In this episode, we discuss:

How can churches, synagogues, mosques, and other faith communities step forward to help families?
What are the different ways people of faith can help?
How do we get the rabbis, ministers, and leaders on board?
Better for the church or synagogue
What are the biggest obstacles you see for leadership to want to embrace this ministry or program?
How to get people involved?
What are the biggest obstacles for people wanting to get involved?
How can places of faith circle around grandparents and other relatives caring for children?

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How Do I Handle Shocking Information My Child Shares With Me? - Weekend Wisdom Jun 14, 2025

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Question: I want to know how I can help my child/foster, or adoptee with issues that arise out of the blue. There are things that happen that you’re not aware of, and it just shocks you and throws you off. As an adult, it’s hard to know how to handle some of these things because you can make it worse for the child. Sometimes I feel like I need a therapist to help me navigate being a foster parent.

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Understanding Adoption: Voices From All Sides Jun 11, 2025

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Join us to discuss how adoption looks and feels from all sides of the adoption triad. Our guests will be the authors Sara Easterly, Kelsey Vander Vliet Ranyard, and Lori Holden of their book, Adoption Unfiltered.

In this episode, we discuss:

Adoptee Perspective:
- 23 adoptees contributed to this section of the book.
- What are some of the issues adoptees may face?
- Compliance and people-pleasing
- Fantasy Attachments
- Shame
- Interracial Adoptees
- The Danger in the Rescue Narrative
- Role of religionin adoption for adoptees, birth mothers/expectant mothers, and adoptive parents
Birth Mother:
- Before birth mothers get the chance to ask for help, they ask for mercy.
- Advertisements and search algorithms when searching for adoption information
- Lack of neutral support
- Lack of post-placement support—lingering trauma and grief—It’s a different type of grief and trauma.
Adoptive Parent:
- Insecurity—who’s the real parent
Adoption Unfiltered Online

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How to Talk with Young Kids about Adoption - Weekend Wisdom Jun 07, 2025

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Question: My wife and I adopted a newborn baby almost 3 years ago and we could not be happier. Now that he is getting a little older, he is talking and starting to understand things. My question is how can we best normalize his adoption with him? I know it is better for kids to grow up with everyone being open with him and his adoption so it feels like now is a good time to start. But I am not sure how to that with an almost 3-year-old. For context, we do not have any contact with the birth family. We send updates and pictures to the agency, but they have not expressed interest in having contact with us. This always seemed like an avenue to start that conversation (you have a birth family and an adoptive family). Without that, I’m not sure how to start talking to him about adoption. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

Resources:

Talking about Adoption, Part 1: Talking with 0-5 Year Olds (Article)
Talking with Kids about Adoption (Resource page)
Talking with Kids about Birth Parents (Suggested Books for Young Kids)

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The Adoption Home Study: Should You Be Nervous? Jun 04, 2025

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Many prospective adoptive families feel anxious about the home study. Our guest, Sheila Kowit, is an adoption social worker with Adoptions From the Heart. She prepares home studies for both domestic infant and international adoptions. She explains what the process is like, what you can expect, and what you will learn in the home study process.

In this episode, we discuss:

What is an adoption home study?
- Is it possible to get one home study that can be used with all types of adoptions: domestic infant, foster care, and international adoption?
What is the purpose of the adoption home study?
At what point in the adoption process is the home study usually done in domestic infant adoption?
- In international adoption?
How long does it take to complete an adoption home study in domestic infant adoption?
- In international adoption
How much does an adoption home study cost for domestic infant adoption?
- For international adoption
What information can the prospective adoptive parents expect to compile for a domestic infant adoption home study? How does this differ for international adoption?
- Medical history
- Statements of income and assets
- Autobiographical statements
- References
What, if any, are the physical health concerns:
- For international adoption, consult our Adoption Comparison Charts
- Do you have to have a current physical?
- What to do about getting a medical physical if you don’t have a regular primary doctor. Can you go to Urgent Care clinics or Minute Clinics for an adoption physical?
Can you do domestic infant adoption if you or your partner/spouse has a mental health diagnosis? What about international adoption?
- For international adoption, consult our Adoption Comparison Charts
Criminal background concerns for domestic infant adoption? For international adoption?
- DUIs, misdemeanors, expunged records?
- It is important to be honest and share it all with your social worker.
What gets included in the financial portion of the home study for domestic infant adoption? For international adoption?
- Income, liabilities, and assets assessment
- Documentation necessary
- Check country listings at our Adoption Comparison Charts or USCIS Intercountry Adoption Information
Writing your personal history for a domestic infant? And for international?

See more on CreatingaFamily.org.

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Birthparents and Agency Lied About Drug Use - Weekend Wisdom May 31, 2025

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Question: My husband and I had a swift match and placement in December. When we were presented with the case, all that was reported for drug use was smoking 12 cigarettes a day. After about a month of trying to get medical records from the hospital for my pediatrician, I discovered my baby’s meconium tested positive for meth. This lab test resulted on Monday, and we were released from the hospital the Friday before, so no one told us about this result. The agency got me the medical records and didn’t mention them when sending them to me. I was also told the birth mom had prenatal care when the medical records say spotty prenatal care. I was shocked when I came across the lab results. We met both of my son’s birth parents a couple of times while in the hospital and had good visits. My husband is usually very good at identifying people on drugs, but he didn’t suspect anything was amiss. We met our son’s siblings, and they all seemed well cared for. My son also did not appear to go through withdrawals. He was never in the NICU and was released from the hospital 2 days after birth. He was of a healthy weight and had excellent Apgar scores. I know I would have passed on this case if I knew meth was involved and so in a way this is a blessing because I love my son and am so glad we were selected to parent him, but I feel some trust has broken between us and his birth parents. I text them weekly with photos and small updates, but I can’t help but feel a little resentful (to both the birth parents and the agency). How do you suggest I deal with this situation?

Resources:

Raising a Child with Prenatal Substance Exposure (Resource page)
Evaluating Risk Factors in Adoption (Resource page)
Creating a Family Online Support Group

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Raising a Biracial Child May 28, 2025

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Are you raising a mixed-race child? Join our conversation with Nicole Doyley, a biracial woman raising biracial kids, and the author of What About the Children: 5 Values for Multiracial Families.

Terminology: what is preferred-biracial, mixed race, multi-racial, mixed?
Biracial includes Black/White, Black/Asian, White/Asian, Hispanic/Black, Indigenous/Black/Hispanic. In this interview, we are talking about mixed-race, but families can also be mixed culturally.
Is it true that mixed-race is the fastest-growing group in the US?
Issues facing biracial people in the US. Based on personal experience as well as a 2020 Vox Survey of Mixed Americans.
- No man’s land of racelessness
- Having to always answer the question “What are you?”
- Not fully accepted by either race
- Wanting to ditch one race so as to be fully the other race
- Feeling isolated
- Confused identity
- Rejecting the idea of having to fit into just one box
As a child, you didn’t like the ambiguity that biracial brought to your life. You say you felt a “two-ness”. But you came to view being of mixed race as a blessing rather than a curse. Why, as a child did it feel uncomfortable to you and how did you grow to accept it?
Do you think a mixed-race adopted or foster child being raised by parents of a different race from them but the same shared race with each other will face different challenges?
In the past, it was common to tell adoptive/foster/grandparents that the world was going to treat their child as Black (or another race), so you should focus your efforts on raising a Black child and not emphasize their other race. People in the US see race first. How should parents handle it?
Does it matter if the child’s dominant features make her look like she fits more squarely in one race?
5 values for raising a biracial child:
- Awareness
- Humility
- Diversity
- Honesty
- Exploration
Benefits/advantages to being mixed-race:
- Can function in both majority and minority environments
Tips for Raising a Mixed-Race Child