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Marriage is a lifelong commitment that requires both spouses to work hand in hand, navigate through life's struggles and joys, and maintain a strong connection despite differences. But are you keeping a secret and building the great wall?
Many couples seem to have everything going for them: a loving partner, stable finances, a beautiful home, and gorgeous kids. But deep inside, their marriage may not be as perfect as it seems. They may be building "the great wall" brick by brick - a symbolic representation of everything they wish was different in their relationship.
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How great is your marriage?
Now, please be extremely honest with yourself. This isn't about who is better or if your neighbor has a better relationship than you.
What matters is your relationship with your spouse. And if you are struggling, then it starts with honestly looking at where you are to know what you need to do.
- Are you and your spouse struggling with communication?
- Are there issues that continue to resurface time and time again?
- Is there something that you wish your spouse would do differently, but don't know how to bring it up?
If any of this sounds a little too familiar, don't despair!
You can tear down the great wall and strengthen your relationship.
The K.I.S.S. ~ Tear down the great wall! If you have been building it up, the only way to tear it down is one brick at a time.
1. Listen to Each Other
You must practice active listening. Take the time to listen to your spouse, without judgment, and give them the space to share their feelings, concerns, and experiences.
Remember, listening is not just about hearing the words that your spouse is saying, but also acknowledging their emotions and validating their feelings.
Now, you don't have to agree with their feelings, but their feelings do need to be acknowledged. And when you truly listen to your spouse, they gonna feel heard and understood, which strengthens your bond and builds trust. With each conversation you actively listen to, it's one brick removed from the great wall.
2. Increase Physical Touch
Let me just say this. Technology has destroyed intimacy. Everything is a text which becomes a "pretend" feeling that is justified and expressed via an emoji. Seriously?!?
Physical touch is crucial in any relationship, but especially in marriage. It's a way to connect on a deeper level, express affection, and communicate love.
Try to increase the physical touch you give your spouse throughout the day. It can be a simple hug, holding hands, or a kiss on the cheek.
Increasing the amount of touch in your relationship creates a feeling of closeness and boosts your spouse's mood.
And when you are feeling "good", another brick comes down from the great wall.
3. Practice Gratitude
Gratitude is an excellent way to strengthen your relationship and overcome the great wall. Because gratitude softens the heart and makes it more palpable to "feel" and empathize.
Sometimes our marriages need more empathy. Just because you are extra strong in something doesn't mean that your spouse is built emotionally and psychologically as you.
Each of you are unique individuals; fearfully and wonderfully made.
So practice gratitude by thanking your spouse for the little things they do every day. It could be making breakfast, helping with a project, or just being there when you need them. By acknowledging their efforts, you build an environment of appreciation and respect, strengthening your relationship and increasing intimacy.
The great wall of marriage is something that many couples face. But unfortunately, it's also the greatest secret kept.
So drop the secrets. The great wall doesn't have to be the end of your marriage.
You have the opportunity every day to impact your spouse in a special way. You can either build the great wall, or build up your spouse and let the wall fall!
"Be present. Be incredible. Be YOU!!!" #RelationshipBuilders #CreateYourNow #LoveAndMarriage
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Read more from Kristianne, a contributor to The Huffington Post, MindBodyGreen, Thrive Global, Addicted2Success, Entrepreneur, LifeHack, and She Owns It.
https://addicted2success.com/success-advice/5-things-to-do-while-waiting-for-success-to-manifest-in-your-life/
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kristianne-wargo/
http://bit.ly/9amHabits
https://journal.thriveglobal.com/how-to-configure-a-sleep-pattern-fit-for-you-d8edd3387eaf#.sniv275c3
https://sheownsit.com/when-failure-is-your-middle-name/
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Cover Art by Jenny Hamson
Photo by Canva.com
Music by Mandisa - Overcomer
http://www.mandisaofficial.com
Song ID: 68209 Song Title: Overcomer Writer(s): Ben Glover, Chris Stevens, David Garcia Copyright © 2013 Meaux Mercy (BMI) Moody Producer Music (BMI) One Songs (ASCAP) Ariose Music (ASCAP) Universal Music - Brentwood Benson Publ. (ASCAP) D Soul Music (ASCAP) (adm. at CapitolCMGPublishing.com) All rights reserved. Used by permission.
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