Counselling Tutor Podcast

Latest Episodes:

109 – Counselling Angry Clients Apr 06, 2019

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Working in Two Agencies - Making Peace with Our Failures In episode 109 of the Counselling Tutor Podcast, Ken Kelly and Rory Lees-Oakes talk about the pros and cons of working in two (or more) agencies as a student or qualified counsellor. Next - in 'Practice Matters' - Rory looks at counselling angry clients. The episode ends with the presenters offering tips on how we can make peace with our failures, and learn to see failure as a positive tool for learning. All three topics follow questions asked in our Facebook group (where you'll find over 22,000 others involved in counselling and psychotherapy, including students, qualified counsellors, supervisors and tutors). Working in Two Agencies (starts at 2.256 mins) Some student therapists may consider taking on two (or more) placements - just as qualified counsellors may work in more than one context or agency. Is this is a good idea or not? There are a few potential downsides to doing so: You will have to be aware of and up-to-date with more than one set of policies and procedures, which might be confusing. You may need to go through more than one Disclosure & Barring Service (DBS) process; even if you have paid for the Update Service (technically making your DBS portable between organisations), not all agencies may be willing to use this. You need to be fully aware of your awarding body's requirements on placements - having more than one can make it a little more onerous and time-consuming to meet these. However, there is also much you can gain from having more than one placement: You may be more assured of getting the practice hours you need to pass your qualification. You could be exposed to - and so gain experience of - a wider range of client presentations and issues. You will see different ways of running a counselling agency, which may be useful for your future work. You will have more opportunities for networking, meeting more people and maybe hearing about more potential job opportunities. You may be able to access a larger number and wider range of training opportunities. Counselling Angry Clients (starts at 10.34 mins) Rory talks about working with angry clients, in particular focusing on: what anger is: a secondary emotion that is often maligned and misunderstood what anger is about how to work with anger how to welcome anger as an equal emotion in counselling safely how anger can be deceptive unless you take the time to understand its origin and purpose Rory has written a handout on counselling angry clients, which you can download here - or through the Handouts Vault and Counselling Study Resource (CSR). Making Peace with Our Failures (starts at 17.27 mins) Thomas Edison, the inventor of the light bulb, had to make 1,000 attempts at creating a light bulb before he found the right formula. When asked how it felt to have failed so many times, he responded that in fact he had learned each time how not to do it - so enabling him to succeed in the end. Indeed, success is always born of failure - and Ken says that if he doesn't fail at least two to three times every day, then he's not trying hard enough! Failure is part of the road to success - and is how we learn. Rory says that he sees the word 'FAIL' as 'First Attempt In Learning'. The important thing is not to let yourself become stuck in self-defeating cycles, or to be afraid of failure. Ken and Rory offer some tips on how to learn to see failure as a positive rather than negative experience: Don't compare yourself with others: we are all different, and it's impossible to make any meaningful or worthwhile comparison. Many systems that do measure our performance relative to others' (e.g. those in education) may be rather narrow - but there is always a way of learning how to get through these measures. Rory refers to how he learned to meet educational criteria effectively through working on techniques for writing assignments. Think about what failure means to you, and how you view it - both in education and in life more widely.

108 – Personal Development as a Counsellor Mar 30, 2019

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Writing Letters to Other Professionals - Working with a Client's Emotional Age In episode 108 of the Counselling Tutor Podcast, Ken Kelly and Rory Lees-Oakes describe why it is important to link theory to your personal development as a counsellor, and how you can do so. In 'Practice Matters', Rory explains how to write letters to other professionals. Finally, the presenters discuss the challenges of working with a client's emotional - as opposed to chronological - age. Linking Theory to Personal Development as a Counsellor (starts at 1.44 mins) Why might you wish to link theory to your own personal development as a counsellor? Ken and Rory suggest that there are four key reasons to do so: As a counsellor, you are going to be applying theory to your clients' development - so it makes sense and is consistent to apply it to your own too. Linking theory to your own development gives you a better understanding of your own process, increasing your self-awareness and so making you a more effective and safer therapist. Your ability to link theory to your personal development as a counsellor is often assessed through assignments on counselling training courses. Even after you qualify, continuing to apply theory to self (including any new theories learned through continuing professional development) is interesting and developmental. This is a topic that crops up regularly in our Facebook group (where you'll find over 22,000 others involved in counselling and psychotherapy, including students, qualified counsellors, supervisors and tutors). Ken and Rory offer several tips on how you can link theory to your own personal development: Make a list of the key terms from the theory of your modality; keeping this in front of you, go through each term and reflect on how this might apply to you yourself. Try using the Johari window, working with peers on your course to learn about parts of you that others might see but you can't - so broadening your view of self. Consider writing an unsent letter (a gestalt-therapy technique) about any 'unfinished business' with key others in your life; this may be best done with support, as it can be a very emotive exercise. Rory has recorded a full one-hour lecture on how learners can link theory to their personal development; this is available in the Counselling Study Resource (CSR). Writing Letters to Other Professionals (starts at 12.22 mins) Rory looks at situations when you might need to write a letter to another professional - for example, when you need to refer a client (e.g. someone with a more complex psychiatric disorder or suicidal ideation) or when you are called on to evidence their attendance at therapy (e.g. to a court, solicitor or employee assistance programme). Rory explains how to balance confidentiality with the needs of the person requesting or receiving the information, applying the Caldicott principles on information-sharing. Rory has written a handout on this topic, which you can download here - or through CSR. Working with a Client's Emotional Age (starts at 24.09 mins) A client's emotional age may not be the same as their chronological age. This can hold especially true for adults who were abused or suffered significant emotional challenges (e.g. close bereavement) in younger years. Such experiences can lead them to regress to that past age when they are reflecting on what happened then. Ken describes how the misuse of substances (e.g. alcohol and drugs) stops people processing their emotions; thus, they too may revert emotionally to the point where they started using substances in this way. Ken and Rory provide tips on how to work effectively and safely with such clients: Try not to detach yourself from the physical appearance of the client (which tends to show their chronological age), trying instead to listen to their voice: how old do they sound? It can help to close your eyes to do this, if possible. Body language can also be a good indicator of the emotional age of a client. For example, do they look small and vulnerable when talking about a particular experience? Always work in a way that fits the client's emotional rather than chronological age at that time. Be aware that this age can change within and between sessions - so be alert to shifts, and ready to adapt to this changing emotional age. This is advanced-level counselling. Attend carefully to how you use language, ensuring that you tailor this to the emotional age of the client at any particular time. Ensure that the client doesn't leave the session at their regressed age; you may need to remind them of their chronological age, carefully and gently bringing them back into the here-and-now. Always check with the client before they leave the building that they feel safe and strong enough to go back out into the outside world. Rory has recently delivered a lecture in the CSR on preparing to work with young people; the learning in this can usefully be applied to older clients whose emotional age is more in line with that of a young person.

107 – Group Supervision for Counsellors Mar 23, 2019

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Working with Intrusive Thoughts - Dealing with Emergency Phone Calls from Clients In episode 107 of the Counselling Tutor Podcast, Ken Kelly and Rory Lees-Oakes talk about intrusive thoughts and how best to deal with these. In 'Practice Matters', Rory then looks at how to deal with emergency phone calls from clients. Last, the presenters discuss group supervision for counsellors and how this is different from one-to-one supervision. Working with Intrusive Thoughts (starts at 1.48 mins) What are intrusive thoughts? They are horrible, shocking thoughts that might suddenly enter our mind (for example, about something dangerous or illegal we could theoretically do at a particular moment in time), and that we can recognise as unwanted and often antisocial or otherwise inappropriate. It's common to fear that having such thoughts means we are somehow bad or unwell. They can feel shameful to become aware of, so that many people don't ever tell others about them, feeling that their thoughts need to remain secret. When Rory talked about these in class, as a college lecturer, he used to see a look of relief on many a student's face as they realised they were not the only one to experience these. Indeed, having intrusive thoughts is a very natural part of being human, and everyone experiences them to some degree. Just because we think something horrifying doesn't mean that we have any genuine wish or intention to follow through and to act on it. In the therapeutic context, Rory and Ken have the following guidance for counsellors and psychotherapists: It can be very helpful to normalise intrusive thoughts, so that the client understands that they are not alone in thinking such things. However, it's important to check out that any such thought described by a client is not instead a developing thought - i.e. a persistent negative thought that remains in the client's mind and is being gradually built upon (e.g. persistent suicidal ideation or planning to commit a crime). Intrusive thoughts can feel almost like a dream or daydream in quality - not relating to reality and just popping up uninvited in the person's head as they go about their everyday life. In the UK, the TV drama 'Pure' is full of intrusive thoughts. Emergency Phone Calls (starts at 15.51 mins) Rory looks at the nature of counselling as not a blue-light (i.e. emergency or urgent) service. He explores what to do as a counsellor if you receive a desperate call from a client between sessions. Rory asserts that many such problems can be avoided by careful contracting and by prudent consideration of your phone-contact arrangements as a counsellor. Rory has written a handout on this topic, which you can download here - or through the Handouts Vault and Counselling Study Resource (CSR). Group Supervision for Counsellors (starts at 20.01 mins) One-to-one clinical supervision - typically attended monthly (or perhaps more often for counselling students) - is not the only form of supervision. Group supervision for counsellors may take place in various contexts, principally as a trainee counsellor in your learning institution (led by a tutor) and/or in your placement environment (led by a member of staff from the agency). Most awarding bodies allow students to count group supervision as part of their supervision hours, but it's important to read the regulations carefully, as you can't usually claim 100% of the time - instead having to divide this between the number of group members in some way. Ken and Rory discuss some pros and cons of group supervision for counsellors: Advantages Participating in group supervision is like accessing the 'hive mind' - in other words, a really rich resource of many different experiences and ideas from potentially wide-ranging frames of reference. If your agency runs its own group supervision sessions, you will be accessing support based on your specific work context, with access to expertise on the specialist area (if any) covered by the organisation. Disadvantages Because it involves a group, this type of supervision is naturally subject to the potential difficulties of group dynamics - with members potentially finding each other difficult in some way. This can be challenging, albeit potentially developmental. Confidentiality becomes more complex when talking about clients to more than one person. For example, in a local area, there is a much higher risk that a group member will know one of the clients that another member brings to the group supervision. It's vital to cover all your supervision arrangements in your contract with the client, so that they are aware where and with whom their material may be discussed.

106 – Unethical Behaviour in Counselling Mar 16, 2019

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Using Assessment Tools in Counselling - Levels of Training In episode 106 of the Counselling Tutor Podcast, Ken Kelly and Rory Lees-Oakes discuss the use of assessment tools in counselling. In 'Practice Matters', Rory then looks at the various forms of unethical behaviour in counselling. Finally, the presenters talk about the different levels of counselling training, and how to choose which level is right for you. All three topics follow questions asked in our Facebook group (where you'll find over 22,000 others involved in counselling and psychotherapy, including students, qualified counsellors, supervisors and tutors). Using Assessment Tools in Counselling (starts at 2.53 mins) Most assessment tools used in counselling take the form of questionnaires. Common ones that you might come across include GAD-7, PHQ-9 and CORE-10. Although it can jar for students of person-centred counselling to be asked to use such tools, this generally is done before and after the counselling itself. The purpose of the questionnaires is often to provide evidence of the impact of counselling: this is important to organisations seeking to source funding for their work. Assessment tools may also be of benefit to clients, who may feel encouraged by an improvement in their score. They also provide good quantitative data for research studies. Unethical Behaviour in Counselling (starts at 14.08 mins) Rory looks at typical areas for clients to complain to professional bodies in the field of counselling and psychotherapy (e.g. the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy and the National Counselling Society) that their therapist has acted unethically - either in person or online. It's good to be aware of these key risk areas, in order to help prevent incurring any complaints from clients - and the resultant sanctions from your professional body. While some forms of unethical behaviour in counselling may seem obvious, others are less so. It's always better to be proactive in avoiding difficulties than it is to react to these after they have occurred. Rory has written a handout on unethical behaviour in counselling, which you can download here - or in the Handouts Vault and Counselling Study Resource (CSR). Levels of Training (starts at 30.16 mins) It can be frustrating for people who already have higher-level qualifications to start their counselling training at level 2 - but in fact there are many advantages to doing so. Whereas in some other subject areas, prior learning can be accredited so that you might skip some parts of a course, counselling is a unique field in that personal development is such an important part of the training. Counselling theory does relate to personal development - indeed, Rory has recently delivered a lecture in the CSR about linking the two - but a theoretical knowledge alone is not sufficient to make someone an effective and ethical counsellor. Another advantage of starting at level 2 is that it gives you an insight into whether counselling really is for you before committing a lot more time and money to your training. Rory mentions that he has known people who have been convinced they want to be counsellors until they did this introductory course. Other students decide to stop after level 3 - their certificate in counselling skills. Although you can't practise as a counsellor at this level, the qualification is well regarded by employers in many areas of helping work, e.g. education and health/social care. If you do decide to continue towards the qualification level (currently a minimum of level 4 in the UK), placement providers often expect students to have completed the lower-level stages of counselling training too. Students will typically start their placements in the second year of the diploma training.

105 – Counselling Placement Interview Mar 09, 2019

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What Defines the Therapeutic Relationship? - Distractions in the Therapy Room In episode 105 of the Counselling Tutor Podcast, Ken Kelly and Rory Lees-Oakes talk about important elements of the therapeutic relationship. In 'Practice Matters', Rory then covers possible distractions in the therapy room, and how to deal with these. The podcast closes with some pointers on the type of questions you might get asked - and might want to ask yourself - at a counselling placement interview. What Defines the Therapeutic Relationship? (starts at 2.00 mins) There are a number of elements that together define the therapeutic relationship. Psychologist Petruska Clarkson developed the five-relationship model, which provides one model for looking at this. In Rory's view, the following are some key elements in the therapeutic relationship: contracting seeing the essence of the client, as described by Martin Buber as having an I-Thou relationship understanding transference and countertransference modelling stability while being congruently human too, with all our imperfections being able to repair fractures in the relationship, e.g. through the use of immediacy Research has shown that the therapeutic relationship is the single most important fact in the success of therapy. Ken sees the therapeutic relationship as idiosyncratic - in other words, each is unique, and depends on the two people involved and how they connect. Clarkson's book The Therapeutic Relationship looks at the uses and abuses of the therapeutic relationship in counselling, psychology, psychotherapy and related fields. Rory has done a lecture on Clarkson's model; this is available in the Counselling Study Resource (CSR). You can also view a lecture there on transference and countertransference, which is highly relevant to the quality of the therapeutic relationship. Distractions in the Therapy Room (starts at 12.07 mins) This topic was raised recently in our Facebook group (where you'll find over 22,000 others involved in the world of counselling and psychotherapy, including students, qualified counsellors, supervisors and tutors). Rory reflects on his 17 years of clinical practice, recounting a number of distracting experiences he has encountered - from disco music to fire alarms! He provides tips on how best to deal with such distractions, including putting these in the client's clinical notes, discussing what happened with the client, and keeping a sense of humour. Rory has written a handout on this topic, which you can download here - or in the Handouts Vault and CSR. Counselling Placement Interview Questions (starts at 17.54 mins) New to placements? Read our complete guide to counselling placements for the whole journey, from finding one to thriving in it. Again, this topic regularly arises in our Facebook group. Even if you are already on placement or have completed this, the tips here may well be relevant to jobs for qualified counsellors too. You may find you have to participate in both a group interview and an individual interview. Important areas to think about before your counselling placement interview and to be ready to answer questions on are: ethical issues (e.g. whether or not it is OK to touch a client) your own personal development prejudices you may be aware of in yourself confidentiality and the limits to this your availability for work It is a good idea to do some research on the organisation and its specialist area (if relevant) before the interview. Remember that the interview is not just a one-way process. You have much to offer the agency: students are naturally highly up-to-date with theory and subject to continual observation of their skills. So do think about what questions you can ask them, for example what support and training they will provide for you and what the counselling rooms are like (you could even ask to look). If you feel uncomfortable with what you see and hear, then don't be afraid to look elsewhere. It's very important that your placement organisation is somewhere you can grow and be nurtured.

Special Edition – National Counselling Society Mar 02, 2019

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In response to a number of questions posed by the Counselling Tutor Facebook group, the National Counselling Society (NCS) agreed to work with the Counselling Tutor team to create a podcast to respond to those questions. NCS wrote the show notes for this episode. NCS are delighted to have created this podcast episode with Rory and Ken, and we really hope you enjoy listening to it. This is a really great opportunity for us to come together and further highlight how we strive to support the great work and dedication that is being demonstrated by all counsellors - whether they be experienced or newly qualified practitioners or students still in training! Everyone is valued equally by the NCS. We also believe that having an informed choice about which professional association to join is really important. Knowing that the majority of the Counselling Tutor audience are students/counsellors-in-training, we thought it would be useful to support this podcast by sharing a little more information about who the NCS are and more specifically what we do to support student counsellors. The National Counselling Society (NCS) is member-led, not-for-profit professional association that not only holds an Accredited Register of qualified counsellors (which has been accredited by the Professional Standards Authority - PSA), but also offers various levels of memberships that recognises and supports the different 'life stages' of a counsellor. For students we offer a competitive membership package that we believe not only includes great material benefits (e.g. reduced fees and discounts on books, insurance, supervision, personal counselling, etc..), but we also grant students full access to the members' area of our website which includes good practice guidance and other useful information to support training and development (e.g. Placement information and CPD courses). We also provide a platform for our members' voices to be heard about the future of our profession as we regularly consult on matters of policy, ethics, standards as well as other society matters. The great news is, our student membership is open to anyone studying a counselling course which is compatible with the Society Code of Ethics, irrespective of whether such course is recognised by the Society. And once you have finished your studies, we offer a straightforward upgrade process to the next level of membership with no addition upgrade fee! How to Become a Member of NCS For further information and details about how to apply for NCS membership, please visit the following page on our website: Become a Member or contact us directly on 01903 200666 - we would be delighted to hear from you! Links and Resources Counselling Skills Academy Advanced Certificate in Counselling Supervision Basic Counselling Skills: A Student Guide Counsellor CPD Counselling Study Resource Counselling Theory in Practice: A Student Guide Counselling Tutor Training and CPD Facebook group Website Online and Telephone Counselling: A Practitioner’s Guide Online and Telephone Counselling Course

104 – Confidentiality in HIV/AIDS Counselling Feb 23, 2019

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Preparing for Residentials - What Is a Professional Body? In episode 104 of the Counselling Tutor Podcast, Ken Kelly and Rory Lees-Oakes discuss residentials that form part of counselling courses. In 'Practice Matters', Rory then talks about the differences between professional (or ethical) bodies and awarding bodies. The podcast ends on a discussion about confidentiality in HIV/AIDS counselling, specifically about whether or not you should break confidentiality if a client with HIV or AIDS discloses to you that they are having unprotected sex. Preparing for Residentials (starts at 1.54 mins) It is often around this time of year that counselling students go away for a residential weekend, perhaps to a hotel or other setting. People may have different feelings about this event - for some, it may be the highlight of the year and very exciting; others may feel nervous and daunted by the idea of spending this intense time with others. Ken and Rory offer tips on how to approach your counselling residential in order to make the most of it: Try to look upon the residential as a time for reflection, offering you a chance to get to know yourself and your group members better. Personal development and self-awareness are key to being a safe and effective counsellor: your residential offers an unusual opportunity for personal reflection and processing. Your peers might in future - once you are all qualified - refer clients to you, and you to them. Taking the time to really get to know them therefore might make good business sense too. Residentials give you an opportunity to learn more about your own triggers and danger areas for possible transference. Try to note down as much as you can: this will be valuable material for your personal-development assignment. Watch your alcohol intake - it can be easy to drink too much in the evenings and detract from what you get out of the following morning. Alcohol can also lead participants to disclose more than they would normally choose - Rory refers to this as 'in vino veritas' (Latin for 'in wine lies the truth'!). Be prepared to feel emotionally drained afterwards, so build in some good self-care for immediately afterwards if possible. When you return home, be mindful that your loved ones will not have experienced what you have. In short, counselling residentials can really shift your perceptions in a life-changing way - but do take good care of yourself. What Is a Professional Body? (starts at 13.58 mins) Rory describes the various professional bodies (sometimes known as 'ethical bodies') overseeing counselling and psychotherapy in the UK, talking about what they are, how they function and who they service. There are as many as 14 different professional bodies in the UK that look after our profession in its broadest sense. He also clarifies the differences between professional and awarding bodies. Rory has written a handout on professional bodies in the UK; this is available to download here - or you can access it via the Handouts Vault and Counselling Study Resource (CSR). Look out on too for a forthcoming special-edition podcast in which we interview a representative of the National Counselling Society. Breaking Confidentiality in HIV/AIDS Counselling (starts at 24.10 mins) Breaking confidentiality is a complex issue that arises regularly in its various forms in our Facebook group (where you'll find over 23,000 others involved in the world of counselling and psychotherapy). This particular question relates to confidentiality in HIV/AIDS counselling, or whether you should break confidentiality if you become aware, as a counsellor, that a client of yours who has HIV or AIDS is having unprotected sex. First, it's very important to differentiate here between HIV and AIDS: HIV is the virus (having which doesn't make the person ill), while AIDS is the illness that can develop from this virus. While the advent of HIV seemed very frightening at the time - partly through the limited treatment options available at that time (meaning it really was then a death sentence), and partly through poor handling by the UK authorities - there are many people now living well with HIV who may never go on to develop AIDS. Ken also describes his perspective on HIV as a young person growing up in South Africa. Above all, it is important not to criminalise people with HIV/AIDS, and a private counsellor would not automatically break confidentiality if they knew a client was having unprotected sex - just as they would not do so if a client had venereal disease and was doing so. Ultimately, adults have the choice to insist on using a barrier method of contraception. It would, however, be different if someone with HIV/AIDS was going out with the express intention of infecting others. However, when you work for an agency, you must follow its policies, including on confidentiality - so do ensure that you know this policy inside out, for your clients' and your own protection. If in doubt, ask your managerial supervisor there about confidentiality in HIV/AIDS counselling - ideally by email, so that you have a written record of their response. Talk to your clinical supervisor too about any such ethical dilemmas. Your professional body should also be able to help about confidentiality and HIV ethical issues. A good source of high-quality information on HIV/AIDS is the Terence Higgins Trust; the British Psychological Society has also published guidance on psychological support for adults living with HIV.

103 – Attachment Styles Feb 16, 2019

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Future of Counselling Qualifications -Importance of Feelings in Counselling In episode 103 of the Counselling Tutor Podcast, Ken Kelly and Rory Lees-Oakes talk about the future of counselling qualifications. Next - in 'Practice Matters' - Rory describes attachment styles. Last, the presenters discuss why we focus on feelings (as opposed to narrative/story) in counselling. Future of Counselling Qualifications (starts at 1.40 mins) The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP), British Psychoanalytic Society (BPC) and UK Council for Psychotherapy (UKCP) have together put out for consultation the SCoPEd framework. This makes proposals for the future of counselling and psychotherapy qualifications in the UK. Qualifications in this field have already changed significantly over recent years - with Rory recollecting that the practice level of qualification when he did his training 16 years ago was a level 3 diploma. It seems likely that the minimum qualification level - currently level 4 - will continue to rise over time. In many other countries, a bachelor's (or even master's) degree is already needed. SCoPEd proposes a three-tier framework for counselling and psychotherapy qualifications. It's important to remember that - even if it does go ahead - this would be introduced gradually and apply to new students, not to those who have already qualified. Just as the regulation of counselling has been discussed for many years without any significant changes implemented, the SCoPEd proposals may not occur, at least not for some time. Do have a read of the framework, and have your say: the consultation is a chance to tell the contributing bodies what you think and want. Remember too that it's important to supplement your qualification (whatever level) with continuing professional development (CPD). The Counselling Study Resource (CSR) is a great place to access this, with a wide range of lectures and other resources available for one monthly fee. Attachment Styles (starts at 11.13 mins) Rory discusses attachment styles - how we relate to others, based on our childhood experiences with our caregivers. This is a topic that is often raised in our Facebook group, where you'll find over 23,000 others involved in the world of counselling and psychotherapy. It is vital that you are aware of your own attachment style in order to be fully available to clients: if your attachment style and theirs clash in some way, this can cause difficulties unless you can recognise what is happening. For example, it could lead you to mis-attune to, withdraw from or even dismiss a client. Even if you have done personal-development work to tackle an insecure attachment style in yourself, it is easy to slip back into this when you are under stress. A handout is available on attachment styles here - or you can access it via the Handouts Vault and CSR. Importance of Feelings in Counselling (starts at 14.40 mins) The purpose of feelings in humans is self-protection: we use them to keep ourselves safe, as the part of the brain that triggers feelings ensures we react immediately to any danger. However, it can be hard to express feelings in words - and sometimes even to accept that certain feelings exist within us. Thus, we may hide them not only from others but even from ourselves, pushing them down and out of awareness. In this way, our thoughts and feelings may be out of sync with each other - we often hear clients talking in therapy about what they 'should' be thinking or feeling. Counselling can help to bring feelings into awareness, setting them free and accepting them without judgement. Once something is in awareness, we then have the ability to change it. Thus, feelings offer us a gateway to the real self. Because of the difficulties of putting feelings into words, metaphor can be a really powerful tool in counselling. Rory has delivered a lecture on working with metaphor; you can view this in the CSR.

102 – How to End a Counselling Session Feb 09, 2019

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Explaining Your Modality to Clients - When Clients Ask for Advice In episode 102 of the Counselling Tutor Podcast, Ken Kelly and Rory Lees-Oakes talk about whether and how to explain your modality to clients. In 'Practice Matters', Rory looks at how to end a counselling session. Last, the presenters discuss ways of responding when clients ask for advice. Explaining Your Modality to Clients (starts at 1.54 mins) Ken starts by asking: should we even do so? It is important to explain your modality to some extent at the start of therapy, so that clients can understand what's on offer and so make an informed decision on whether it is the right approach for them. Some clients may have experienced therapy before, while others are completely new to it: it matters that clients know what they can expect. Ken and Rory describe how they each explain the person-centred approach to clients. While person-centred counsellors would not go beyond this to explain the underpinning theory to clients, it is not a taught model. Some other models, however, are active-directive and it is necessary to teach clients the model in order for the client to be able to benefit from the therapy. Two examples of this type of modality are cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT - where the therapist would explain the nature of negative thoughts, and how these can affect emotions and behaviour) and transactional analysis (TA - where the therapist would explain the parent-adult-child model). It can be very tempting in person-centred practice to come out with theoretical terms that you see as relevant to explaining a client's experience (e.g. 'condition of worth' or 'introjected value') but doing so would take the client away from their feelings and into their head. Whatever your modality, it's important to remember that - as clinical psychologist John Norcross discovered through his extensive research - it is the therapeutic relationship rather than the model that is the most important influence on the effectiveness of therapy. In transactional analysis, the idea of the 'relational turn' was developed by Helena Hargaden and Charlotte Sills and is described in Transactional Analysis: A Relational Perspective (Routledge, 2002). How to End a Counselling Session (starts at 12.09 mins) Rory explains how to end a counselling session in a timely and professional way - a topic that is sometimes not covered in much depth in counselling training. He looks at: what to think about in ending a counselling session how to time the ending how to pace the counselling session how to deal with confounding variables (i.e. things that the client might say at the end of the session that could delay its ending) A handout on how to end a counselling session is available here - or you can access it via the Handouts Vault and Counselling Study Resource (CSR). Rory has also delivered a lecture on the use of structure in counselling skills in the CSR. When Clients Ask for Advice (starts at 15.51 mins) Advice-giving is not part of counselling: advice is our own experience recycled, and comes wrapped up with rescuing and sympathy (as opposed to empathy). With advice comes judgement: it is based on your frame of reference and so on your truth. The client's truth may well be very different. Advice-giving fails to recognise that each person's journey is different and their own. When a client finds their own solution, it is a far more appropriate and meaningful one for them, and they are far more likely to act upon it. But what should we do if a client specifically asks us: 'If you were in my situation, what would you do?' Rory shares two possible ways of responding: You could ask the client to imagine that they have a friend in the same situation as them, and ask them: 'What would you suggest to your friend?' You could follow the example of one of Rory's tutors when he was training as a counsellor and respond: 'Anything I'd want to.'

101 – When Counselling Doesn’t Work Feb 02, 2019

Show notes

Study-Life Balance for Student Counsellors -Personal Development as Counselling Students In episode 101 of the Counselling Tutor Podcast, Ken Kelly and Rory Lees-Oakes discuss the challenges of balancing your studies with all the other demands of life. In 'Practice Matters', Rory looks at what we can do when counselling doesn't work. Finally, the presenters discuss the challenges of your own personal development as a student counsellor. Study-Life Balance (starts at 1.32 mins) Many students these days work as well as study - this is not easy, especially for counselling students, who also have to fit in their placements, supervision and personal therapy. There may also be family demands to fit in. This is bound to take some juggling. Ken and Rory offer tips on how to 'balance the seesaw': Get a good diary and plan your year ahead, taking account of any periods where you expect higher demands of your time and/or energy at work and home. Try not to neglect your self-care, even - or perhaps especially - when you're busy. If you think you may need to miss a class (for example, if you work shifts and are needed at work), tell your tutor in advance and arrange how you can catch up with the material to be covered. Consider getting one or more 'study buddies' - perhaps using a WhatsApp group or suchlike - to support each other. Speak about any difficulties in juggling demands in your personal counselling. Share your struggles and ask for support on our Facebook group, whose members include over 21,000 students, counsellors and tutors in the world of counselling and psychotherapy. Draw on all the easy-to use resources you can - for example, our Counselling Study Resource (CSR). Use your time efficiently - for example, go prepared to use any time created by client DNAs at your placement to work on your current assignment. Rory and Ken conclude with two great sayings: 'How do you eat a (metaphorical) elephant? One bite at a time!' 'Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass … It's about learning to dance in the rain!' When Counselling Doesn't Work (starts at 12.03 mins) It can happen that you are working with a client and they appear to you not to be benefitting from counselling. Rory shares his clinical thinking on questions and options in this difficult situation when counselling doesn't work, illustrating how to respond in a professional and responsible way - so providing the best-possible service to your client. A handout about what to do when counselling doesn't work is available here - or you can access it via the Handouts Vault and Counselling Study Resource (CSR). Personal Development as a Counselling Student (starts at 17.17 mins) Personal development is an important part of counselling training, and can have a huge impact on other parts of your life. For example, it is not unusual for trainee counsellors to reassess their current work roles and relationships. It is naturally hard for our partners, friends and families to understand the experience we are having on our courses, which often include some times of intense self-discovery (e.g. residential weekends). The changes that take place in us can make it difficult not to speak out about attitudes and behaviours we see in others that once we either didn't notice or could find a way to ignore. Now, however, we want to be congruent - e.g. feeling free to challenge prejudice. This can lead to friction and conflict - or even to a complete parting of the ways from people who have been a big part of our life. Having a first-hand experience of the range of feelings and challenges that accompany personal development is a great way of helping us understand the changes that clients may go through during the counselling process. It's important to acknowledge the potential difficulties in making the changes we - and they - need to make, but equally to celebrate the gains too. It may be a difficult path, but it is ultimately one towards the good. Again our Facebook group can be a great place to share your 'growing pains' with others who may be experiencing similar feelings.

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