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Conversations with Dr. Jennifer — Education
Conversations with Dr. Jennifer

Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife is a sex and relationship expert who has been interviewed for hundreds of podcasts–and now you can access all the amazing content covering issues of faith, sexuality, integrity, belonging, and more right here on the interview archive!

Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife is an LDS relationship and sexuality coach with a Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology. Her teaching and coaching focus on helping LDS individuals and couples create greater connection and passion in their emotional and sexual relationships.

In addition to her private practice, Dr. Finlayson-Fife has created five empowering and highly-reviewed online courses. Each course was designed to give LDS individuals and couples the tools requisite to creating healthier lives and stronger intimate relationships. Dr. Finlayson-Fife also offers many workshops and retreats where she teaches these life-changing principles in person.

The advice offered through any and all podcasts in which she is featured is educational and informational in nature and is provided only as general information. It is not meant to establish a therapist-patient relationship or offer therapeutic advice, opinion, diagnosis treatment or to establish a standard of care. The information contained in these communications is not comprehensive and does not include all the potential information regarding the subject matter, but is merely intended to serve as one resource for general and educational purposes.

Copyright: © 247998

Latest Episodes:

Underinvested: The Disappointing Dividends of a Role-Based Marriage || Room for Two Teaser Mar 20, 2024

Show notes

TJ and Ashley’s story is a familiar one for many.

Their marriage started out happily enough. They were young college students and enjoyed each other a lot during their first few years together. But things changed when TJ started graduate school during an economic downturn. TJ felt a tremendous amount of anxiety about his financial future, given the dim prospects for most students at the time. Competition was fierce and in TJ’s determination to ensure his family’s economic stability, he dedicated himself to his studies, leaving little time or emotional bandwidth for anything else, including Ashley.

This period of limited connection was difficult for Ashley, and it persisted long after graduate school and into TJ’s high-demand career. While disappointed at first, eventually Ashley shifted her focus away from the marriage and created a comfortable, happy, and fulfilling life as a friend and mother.

To the outsider, TJ and Ashley’s relationship may look idyllic–TJ excelling professionally, Ashley busily involved with friends and her community, both invested and caring parents– but their marriage is much more brittle than meets the eye. Resentment and hostility have been simmering under the surface for more than a decade with TJ feeling unappreciated and unacknowledged for the sacrifices he has made to provide for his family and Ashley feeling neglected and unnoticed (except when TJ is wanting sexual attention).

In this episode of Room for Two, Dr. Finlayson-Fife helps the couple think through the long term trajectory of their marriage and how they are undermining their current and future happiness by functioning in such a non-collaborative way. She helps Ashley see the rejection that permeates her interactions with TJ and teaches that the path forward is to stop walling and avoiding and to start looking honestly at herself, her real desires for the relationship, and her role in the lack of intimacy in the marriage.
Be sure to subscribe to Room for Two TODAY to listen to the full episode!

Learning to Love, Respect, and Accept Yourself Mar 12, 2024

Show notes

The process of developing our psychological muscles isn’t all that different from the process of developing our physical muscles.

Both are difficult.
Both involve discomfort.
Both require time, persistence, and patience.
And both are easiest when we have a motivation that propels us through the discomfort.

Fear, self-hatred, and compliance with external expectations are poor motivators. Living according to our higher selves and striving to embody what we value are much stronger motivators!

Our ability to grow, develop, and live in line with our higher selves hinges upon our willingness to look truthfully at ourselves and our circumstances, and make choices from a deeper internal authority.

In this NEW episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Amber Brueseke of Biceps After Babies Radio to discuss the important role that self-honesty and self-definition play in our relationship to our bodies as well as in our emotional, spiritual, and relational development.

Navigating Desire Differences in Marriage Mar 05, 2024

Show notes

In this NEW episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife takes questions from her audience about desire dynamics and the unique challenges faced by both the higher-desire spouse and the lower-desire spouse. In the discussion Dr. Finlayson-Fife discusses how couples can work together to create a more collaborative dynamic and what to do if only one spouse is interested in addressing the desire discrepancy.
Listen to the full episode to learn more about:
* Difficult Conversations
* Dealing with Disappointment
* Accommodation vs Choosing
* Power Struggles in Marriage

* The Pursuer / Distancer dynamic
* Addressing conflict with honesty and compassion
If you would like to learn more about this topic, consider enrolling in Dr. Finlayson-Fife's Enhancing Sexual Intimacy course!

Understanding Sexual Inhibitions Feb 13, 2024

Show notes

It has been said that our brains are our most important sexual organs and, it's true--the meanings that are playing out in our minds either consciously or under the surface have a big impact on our sexual experiences.

Meanings that expand our sense of self and make us feel alive (like freedom and choice) increase our desire, while meanings that constrict us (like obligation and shame) shut down our desire and kill any chance of us having a passionate, fulfilling experience.
Recently, I joined Tammy Hill of the Live Your Why Podcast to discuss the meanings that keep many of us from fully experiencing the joy of our sexuality and what we can do to shift these common, but problematic meaning frames and create something better.
Listen to the full episode to learn more about:

* Reconciling spirituality and sexuality
* The importance of freedom and choice
* Problematic meaning frames
* The art of surrender / receiving
For a deeper dive on working through problematic meanings around sexuality, consider enrolling in Dr. Finlayson-Fife's Enhancing Sexual Intimacy course!

Loss and Its Impact on Desire Feb 01, 2024

Show notes

Choosing to love with your whole heart means accepting the risk of disappointment, loss, and grief.

These difficult realities come in many forms throughout a lifetime—unmet expectations, unfulfilled hopes and dreams, shifts in belief, broken promises, illness, and ultimately, death.

Facing acute loss is a harrowing and sobering experience, in part because it wakes us up to just how little control we have over our circumstances. But being compassionate towards ourselves in the process and finding the courage to keep moving forward, even when the path is riddled with uncertainty and vulnerability, is a beautiful form of faith. When we take the disappointment and loss that life hands us and use our difficult experiences to become kinder, more compassionate people, we increase our ability to deeply cherish the good around us, and we increase our capacity for joy.

This NEW episode is the audio from a Q&A session that Dr. Finlayson-Fife hosted on the topic of loss and grief. During the conversation, Dr. Finlayson-Fife took questions about all different types of losses including miscarriage, death, broken promises, and frustrated expectations.
Listen to the full episode to learn more about:
* Intimacy after loss

* Mixed-faith marriages

* Intimacy after miscarriage

* Finding the courage to reinvest in life after loss
You can watch the full recording of this Q&A session HERE.
You can learn more about Dr. Finlayson-Fife's new mini-courses HERE.

Masculinity and Sexual Shame Jan 16, 2024

Show notes

We have a cultural stereotype about masculinity that can often make us blind to the challenges and self-doubt that many men grapple with in regards to their sexuality.

While men and women may express their anxieties about sexuality differently, the truth is that men have just as difficult of a time coming to peace with their sexuality as women do.

In this episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Tammy Hill of the Live Your Why Podcast for a discussion on masculinity and how our cultural messaging has impacted men’s ability to accept themselves as sexual beings.

Listen to the full episode to learn more about:

* Sexual shame

* Performance anxiety

* Desire discrepancies

* Masturbation and Pornography

* Erectile dysfunction

* Being tolerated vs. being received sexually

* Creating more intimate relationships

If you found this episode helpful and want to learn more, consider enrolling in Dr. Finlayson-Fife's Art of Loving course for men!

Coping with Conflict: Moving Beyond Losing Strategies Jan 09, 2024

Show notes

Conflict is a natural outgrowth of two people trying to forge a life together and it presents a remarkable opportunity for growth if we allow it.

When we disagree with our spouse, we often go to behaviors that lead to hurt and frustration rather than making a concerted effort to engage often counter-intuitive, but more productive and collaborative responses.

In this episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins relationship coach Anne Nelson to discuss how relationships can grow and flourish, even in the face of conflict and difference.

Listen to the episode to learn more about:

* The losing strategies we instinctively use in our relationships
* The growth opportunity provided through conflict in marriage
* How to handle differences with greater maturity and wisdom
This interview is also available on our YouTube channel HERE.

Dr. Finlayson-Fife's Strengthening Your Relationship teaches strategies for growing into deeper integrity, deeper honesty, and deeper courage in your life and relationship. The principles in the course will help you address conflict more constructively and show you how to create a marriage where two people can thrive both together and independently. You can learn more about this marriage-revolutionizing course HERE.

Reconcilable Differences: Finding Common Ground in a Mixed-Faith Marriage Jan 02, 2024

Show notes

Feeling united in marriage is a big deal, and when your worldview has too little overlap with your spouse’s, it can create a sense of loneliness and even despair.

The temptation in this scenario is to try to convince your spouse to see things the “right” way (i.e., your way!). But, when we do this, we set ourselves up for a lifelong power struggle and a relationship unlikely to find common ground.

On the other hand, earnestly seeking to understand your spouse’s point of view–how they see the world and why it makes sense to them–is an essential practice. Rather than demand validation of your own beliefs, seeking first to genuinely understand is a powerful skill. It opens both partners up to deeper understanding of each other and even if there isn’t “agreement” there is at a minimum more ability to work more collaboratively with differing views.

I recently joined Elisa Fucci of the Elisa Fucci Show to discuss how couples can navigate their differences with wisdom and maturity, and how doing so can lead to not only finding common ground in a mixed-faith marriage, but finding higher ground.
Listen to the full episode to learn more about:
* Creating a collaborative marriage
* Losing strategies and how they keep us stuck in frustrating dynamics

* The gift of dual perspectives
* Staying connected during disagreements
* Parenting in a mixed-faith family

Something is Already Working: A Discussion on Embodiment, Vulnerability, and Mindfulness with Thomas McConkie Dec 19, 2023

Show notes

🌲**Don't Miss Our CHRISTMAS SALE--Save 20% (OR MORE) on ALL of Dr. Finlayson-Fife's full-length online courses!**🌲

Several weeks ago, Dr. Finlayson-Fife invited Thomas McConkie to join her and Room for Two annual subscribers for an interactive discussion about embodiment, vulnerability, and the power of mindfulness. This week, we are publishing the recording of this rich and meaningful conversation for ALL to enjoy.

Thomas McConkie is an author, developmental researcher, and mindfulness teacher. He is the founder of the Lower Lights School of Wisdom, a supportive and vibrant community focused on adult development and healing divisions through bridging religious/secular divides. Thomas has a passion for the world's Wisdom traditions, was raised as a Latter-day Saint, and has a deep Christian faith infused with nearly 25 years of Buddhist practice.

Thomas's newly released book, At-ONE-Ment, offers a beautiful exploration of ancient and modern approaches to awakening the mind, purifying the heart, and healing the body. You can learn more about Thomas and his work by clicking HERE.
If you would like to take part in future live discussions like this one, subscribe to Room for Two today!

Discomfort for Growth: A Crash Course in Differentiation Theory Dec 12, 2023

Show notes

**We have lots of exciting announcements (including 2024 event tickets), read all about them HERE**

Egodystonic. Enmeshment. Sense-of-self. Differentiation.
These words and the ideas they represent can be unfamiliar and even downright intimidating when you first start listening to Dr. Finlayson-Fife’s podcasts and courses--it can sometimes feel like learning an entirely new language! But, as with learning any new language, the more you immerse yourself by listening and learning, the more clear these transformative concepts will become.
In this NEW podcast episode, Sherrae Phelps interviews Dr. Finlayson-Fife about her unique approach to coaching and what sets this approach apart from others. Throughout the episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife breaks down many of the phrases and concepts that are central to differentiation theory and her work, and goes on to discuss why these concepts are so powerful and effective for those looking to grow in their capacity to love.

Whether you are new to her content or have been here a while, this episode is a helpful listen for anyone who wants a more concrete understanding of differentiation theory and the uncomfortable process of human development and relational change.

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