Connexions

Latest Episodes:

23: Connecting Power of Vulnerability Nov 25, 2022

Show notes

Hosted by Jodi Hildebrandt. In this episode, Jodi tells a powerful personal story illustrating the connecting power of emotional vulnerability and the disconnecting power of the desire to control one’s experiences. The Truth is, we are all vulnerable all the time. And when we have an experience that shows us our vulnerability, The Voice (shame) entices us to attempt to control the experience so that we “don’t have to” experience the discomfort of being out of control. Everybody is looking for connection. It’s so easy to become addicted to anything, precisely because addictions give a false sense of connection!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

22: Surrender–Path of Peace Nov 25, 2022

Show notes

Attempting to control fearful or uncomfortable situations is so natural. However, control is an illusion. Every one of us is, truthfully, not in control of our life or our circumstances. Surrendering the illusion of control does not mean 'giving up' -- it means beginning a paradoxical way of thinking and perceiving. Surrendering control means we can begin to live free in the true Reality, which generates energy, focus, strength, maturity and great peace.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

21: Boundaries Nov 25, 2022

Show notes

In this episode, Jodi explains boundaries in great detail. She answers questions including:

What are boundaries?

Why do we need boundaries?

What is the purpose of boundaries?

How do I make boundaries?

How do I share and hold boundaries?

How do I model boundaries for others? Jodi also explains why we ALL need boundaries both within ourselves and in our relationships with others. The Truth is, boundaries communicate (and translate into / become) deep feelings of self-love and honor for oneself. And honor and love for self very naturally leads to love and honor for others.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

20: Emotional Honesty=Peace Nov 25, 2022

Show notes

Emotional honesty includes me expressing my emotions in Truth. If I am in a relationship that includes me expressing to another how I am thinking and feeling. Honesty proceeds connection. Connection cannot exist without emotional honesty. How emotionally honest are you? And your relationships?

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

19: Parenting with Responsibility Nov 25, 2022

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This episode is about parenting. We’ve received many requests to talk on this subject. In this episode, Jodi explains what children need physically and emotionally, and then zeroes in on one need that, if met, will enable a child (or any person) to have all their other needs met. That need is RESPONSIBILITY. When a child is taught to be responsible for their own thoughts, feelings, and choices, they learn to live life empowered, to meet their own needs, and to ask for help when they need it. Teaching a child to engage in personal responsibility is a large task, and in this podcast, Jodi lays the groundwork for how to do it. Jodi explains 4 tenets of teaching children to be personally responsible: Teach children that they have the ability to choose—and they are ALWAYS choosing (even when they don’t want to). Teach children boundaries Teach children vulnerability Teach children how to think rationally and choose their responses to their emotions.

Jodi answers several questions from parents, about raising children to be responsible. Jodi gives several examples of how to allow children to have the consequences of their choices and be responsible for them, with empathy and safety, and without shame. Questions include: What kind of expectations should I have for my child? What do I expect from them? Are my expectations appropriate? What do you do when children don’t like the rules or the precautions that parents set in place? How do you continue to parent while still allowing them to have autonomy? (How do you hold boundaries with children and still give them choice?) How do you continue to parent children who refuse to respect the boundaries you’ve put up? How often do you talk to your child about current and future responsibilities? How do I correct inappropriate behavior? How do I teach my child to do things that they will be expected to do as an adult? Do I direct their thoughts and goals towards adult responsibilities? How do I teach my child that they affect other people? Do they know how much power they have, and will have as an adult, to affect others for good or bad? I’m wondering how to let my child know that they’re seen and validated by me. How do I teach my child to be responsible about technology How do I direct my child to repent and make full restitution when they make poor choices? Do I hold them accountable to follow through with restitution?

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

18: Enabling vs Mercy Nov 25, 2022

Show notes

Hosted by Jodi Hildebrandt What is the difference between mercy and enabling? In this episode, Jodi precisely differentiates co-dependent enabling (which is destructive) from mercy. So often, we want to be merciful, show love, “help,” give support, and enable (make things easier for) someone else—or ourselves—to show up in life and keep commitments. We want to empower the person to feel loved, build confidence, and accomplish something. But often, instead of holding behavior accountable (which is merciful) and assisting the person to move through processes of repentance and restitution (which is merciful), and thereby recognize their potential and power (which is merciful), we enable, ignore behavior, and disempower the person we so much want to empower. After listening to this episode, you will be able to distinguish clearly between enabling and mercy, and armed with accurate knowledge, you’ll be able to give the gift of true mercy and truly empower your relationships and yourself, and experience the power and intimacy of interdependent relationships.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

17: How to Confront a Loved One Nov 25, 2022

Show notes

Hosted by Jodi Hildebrandt In this episode, Jodi explains how to confront and resolve conflicts with loved ones. Confrontation, when done appropriately, is extremely loving to others and to self. In every relationship, there will be conflict. Conflict is not a bad or scary or wrong thing; it is a human thing. In every conflict, there is some issue that needs to be confronted and addressed. We need to learn to address conflicts—or else the conflict will never go away; it will only be avoided or ignored or pushed down. When issues are addressed, they are truly dealt with and healed. If I avoid or ignore conflicts, I will inadvertently create conflict for the rest of my life, and I will automatically engage addictive behavior and/or substances, and as a result, I will create even more conflict! Although the situation of every conflict is different, it is not unique; all conflicts have similar components. Conflict is usually the result of fear, lack of education, and confusion. There is always a person who is acting out in a way that needs to be intervened on. There is the person (or people) who are needing to intervene on the acting out behavior. Frequently, when we are in this position, we become reactionary or afraid of the person’s acting out behavior. Typically, we either react in shock and horror to a loved one’s acting out behavior, or we join them in their disconnect. Meanwhile, the person who is acting out will grow increasingly numb and disconnected and shamed, which will allow them to engage in more and more egregious behaviors. If you want to heal conflict, you cannot ignore it. It will become more exaggerated instead. Every time. After listening to this episode, you will be better-equipped to confront and intervene in the lives of your loved ones, in ways that are compassionate and empowering.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

16: Distraction & Fantasy Nov 25, 2022

Show notes

Distractions are disruptions of thought or perception. A distraction is anything which I give time or attention to, which pulls my vision away from the complete Reality going on around me. I become hyper-focused on one aspect or one thought, to the exclusion of all else. Distraction becomes desirable to us whenever our Reality is uncomfortable, painful or otherwise disagreeable to us. We want to “check out” and alter how we feel and what we experience. Rather than remain in Reality, we enter some type of fantasy. Distraction is not bad—it is human. However, when when you or I choose to use distraction as a coping mechanism to avoid feeling and experiencing Reality—or as a reaction to The Voice (shame)—we will attempt to live in distraction, and we will enter state of persistent fantasy. When we live in any type of fantasy (faulty core belief / illusion) we will be deceived about who we are and about the Reality of our life. We will act out our deceptions and become destructive towards self and/or others. Each of us is responsible to become conscious of our fantasies and distractions, and to manage them. Learning to live in Reality is an extremely empowering and maturing experience.

When we are presented with a physically, emotionally, spiritually or otherwise challenging, uncomfortable or painful experience, it is human nature to desire to distract ourselves in order to avoid the discomfort. However, when I use the strategy of distraction to avoid Reality, I set myself up for greater discomfort and pain in the future. Reality will continue to march towards me whether I am prepared for it or not, and if I ignore Reality, I will set myself up to feel confusion, distortion and fear, and thus I will engage more distraction to “manage” the pain and discomfort that comes with every deceptive thought (Faulty Core Belief) which I believe in my distorted state.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

15: Recognizing Addiction Nov 25, 2022

Show notes

Often, the revelation that a loved one is hiding an addiction is a devastating blow. Yet, there are signs and symptoms of addictive behavior and addictive patterns that you can recognize in yourself and others, before a full-on addiction is created. Dishonesty, secrets, lying, selfishness, manipulation, and deception support addictions to fester and grow. If you want to know whether you or your loved one is moving towards addiction, please don't wait until the consequences have mounted so large that you can't ignore them. Learn the signs and symptoms of a developing addiction, and address it. If addressed early (before they become full-blown, out-of-control addictions), addictive behaviors and patterns are far, far easier to resolve. What are the common signs of addiction? How do people talk and present themselves when addiction or addictive behaviors are present? What is the difference between addictive behaviors, vs a full-blown ADDICTION? In this episode, Jodi explains the signs, patterns and presentations of addiction.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

14: Love vs Lust Nov 25, 2022

Show notes

Hosted by Jodi Hildebrandt What is the difference between love and lust? In this episode, Jodi breaks it down in detail and explains why it is crucially important for us to proactively choose to love rather than complacently choose to lust. On vacation in Page, Arizona, Jodi also conducts some street interviews and gets some great answers to the question, “What is the difference between love and lust?” Sneak preview: love is mutual, with an underlying desire to give, while lust is selfish, with an underlying desire to take.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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