We transform lives by teaching the principles of connection. Learn the tools necessary to connect with oneself and others.
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We transform lives by teaching the principles of connection. Learn the tools necessary to connect with oneself and others.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Hosted by Jodi Hildebrandt During the Christmas season, so many of us reunite with family, and we experience the relationship dynamics at work in our families (the sweet and the bitter!). In this episode, Jodi talks about the relationship dynamics within families of origin (childhood). Unless we consciously choose to change them, our childhood family dynamics affect us throughout our lives (in supportive and/or destructive manners) and carry over from childhood into our adult relationships.
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Hosted by Jodi Hildebrandt What is honesty? How truthful and honest are you with yourself? How honest are you about the way you perceive things? Do you question the way that you conceptualize and speak? In this episode Jodi discusses the definition and importance of emotional honesty—honesty and responsibility around your internal (emotional) world. Emotional honesty means knowing about all of my feelings and emotions, triggers and responses, perceptions, and so forth. I am responsible to learn about myself and manage myself in a way that is truthful.
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Hosted by Jodi Hildebrandt As human beings, we are endowed with incredible power to choose. Outcomes always follow our choices, whether or not we are aware of the choices we are making. As you and I become conscious of our choices, we are enabled to choose powerful and constructive outcomes. Our choices have emotional outcomes, physiological outcomes, and tangible / external outcomes. Our thoughts and perceptions have outcomes. We can choose to “hold” or perceive our experiences any way we choose. We can be unconscious about our choice of perceptions and perceive life as a victim, or we can be conscious and deliberate and choose to perceive our experiences in Truth.
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Hosted by Jodi Hildebrandt This weekend we celebrate Thanksgiving in the United States. It’s a time to count our blessings and practice being grateful for all we’ve been given. But being grateful doesn’t mean losing self. Rather, it means remaining in your integrity (being emotionally honest) and giving to self and others without expectations or “strings attached.” It sounds paradoxical, yet the only way to be truly grateful towards other people is to be grateful and appreciative towards yourself. This practice of self-care means setting boundaries for myself, which enables you to truly connect with self, others and God or a Higher Power.
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Every person on the planet has used manipulation strategies to obtain a desired outcome. Most often, we manipulate unconsciously or without awareness. Many of us manipulate occasionally, and some of us “live” in a state of manipulation and use its strategies constantly. In this episode, Jodi introduces several types or styles of manipulation and explains how to recognize them. The skill of recognizing manipulation in yourself and in your relationships is an invaluable tool to protect yourself and your relationships, and to engage the principles of honesty, responsibility and humility in all aspects of your life.
Manipulation is something we ALL use, and we all need to become awake to, in order to protect ourselves and our loved ones. In this episode, Jodi explains how to recognize manipulators (those who live a lifestyle of manipulation, as opposed to occasionally manipulating). Manipulators groom victims using several strategies, including indulging the person, using fear or intimidation tactics, attempting to break the person’s spirit, showing “loving” gestures in order to get what they want (such as sex), behaving in very grandiose or arrogant or pompous manners, or even behaving as though they are victims, so others will feel sorry for them. Manipulators also change the meanings of words and re-define what they said previously. If you feel “crazy,” the chances are high that you are being manipulated. If you recognize manipulation within yourself or coming from your relationships, seek the help of a therapist or a healthy individual who can be unbiased and truthful with you and help you to see the Reality. When manipulation is not challenged, it will not leave a relationship.
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In this episode, Jodi discusses the strong desire we all have as humans to control situations, outcomes and emotions, and how our controlling behaviors are set-ups to experience The Voice (shame) and denial. The Truth is, we live out of control, and we cannot control our environment. Therefore, in order to attempt to control, we must use denial strategies. In this episode, Jodi discusses some of the most common denial strategies: Helpless / Hopeless Uniqueness / Different Rationalizing Minimizing Justifying Compartmentalizing More denial strategies to come in next week’s episode.
The discussion is on the definition of denial, why we all use denial, and how we often use denial strategies without realizing we are doing so. At its core, our desire to deny reality is simply our difficulty and/or unwillingness to feel and manage pain and discomfort of any type. As humans, we have a difficult time managing painful experiences. Towards the end of this episode, Jodi give examples and definitions of more denial strategies not covered in last week’s episode: Comparing Omission Creating Distractions Manipulation Complying Intellectualizing Blaming
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Hosted by Jodi Hildebrandt Recovery is not the same as sobriety. Sobriety means choosing not to engage in a particular behavior or substance (our drug of choice). On the other hand, recovery refers to an entire lifestyle of humility, honesty and responsibility, where we learn to love, honor and respect self and others. Recovery addresses the underlying emotional and spiritual reasons we engage in the behaviors or substances. Recovery allows us to no longer have the “need” to alter our emotional experiences — it allows us to experience our emotional realities in the Truth, and move through them without becoming shamed or “stuck.”
Why do we become addicted to people, activities, substances, etc.? What causes addiction? And how do we heal from them? This week’s episode is about several principles of addiction and recovery, including: Bottom lines Slips Relapse White-knuckling Withdrawal symptoms Powerlessness Cross-addiction Surrender & thinking in honesty In order to recover from the underlying emotional causes of addiction, a person must: Live in emotional truth & be honest with self and others Maintain personal accountability Live a humble lifestyle Not alter or deny the reality of their life or their experiences. We must all embrace & accept life exactly as it presents itself to us. Experience and feel all emotions as they are connected to every experience Share with another person how they feel, and ask for validation and empathy. We all need at least one person to allow us to be vulnerable and risk. Surrender and let go of what they cannot control. Learn to live in the reality of life and not distort the perception of reality. Impeccable honesty, rigorous responsibility and humility eclipse the drive to emotionally or physically alter the experience. As you live these principles, you will grow in wisdom, power, and emotional & spiritual depth. Your mindset and lifestyle will change as you recognize that emotions give information about yourself and others. You will then be able to accept all experiences and allow them to teach you. You will become whole and connected, so you won’t crave escape and distortion.
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The Voice (shame) is at the root of all addictions. When any of us become addicted to food, money, sex, gambling, exercise, anger or other attitudes, hoarding, drugs, or anything else, the addiction is not the problem. The addiction is a symptom. The reason we become addicted to such a variety of activities, substances and thinking patterns is that we are using these things ("externals") to medicate the pain we feel because we believe The Voice (shame) and thus we emotionally disconnect. As we learn to reframe our experiences and recognize the Truth about our choices, thoughts and perceptions, we no longer have a "need" for addiction. We must learn to choose to feel and experience our true emotions (even if uncomfortable) which come with every experience, without attempting to change, alter or manipulate our reality. When we exercise the power of choice within us to become emotionally honest, personally responsible and humble individuals, we live in integrity and become individuals of character. This is the lifestyle of recovery from addiction & The Voice (shame).
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Hosted by Jodi Hildebrandt Our perceptions have monumental power in our lives. What we perceive becomes reality to us. How we perceive our experiences in life determines our thoughts, emotions and attitudes around every experience. Our perceptions create our motives and agendas, and set us up to listen to The Voice (go into shame/Faulty Core Beliefs), or go into Truth. Therefore, the skill of being aware of what we think, how we feel, and why we perceive as we do, will empower us to understand ourselves, hold our emotions in honesty and responsibility, learn the lessons our traumatic experiences are trying to teach us, and empathize and feel compassion for others. When we are aware and conscious, then we can choose with power.
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Hosted by Jodi Hildebrandt Emotional and spiritual safety are often overlooked, because they are not tangible and concrete, however, they are vital to all healthy relationships. How safe are you, emotionally and spiritually? This episode begins with an invitation to self-assess by answering several questions. Emotionally healthy relationships embody certain characteristics, such as empathy, self-respect, freedom to be self, trust and safety. Emotional safety is forged as we are willing to become emotionally mature by taking feedback, taking responsibility for our own thoughts, feelings and choices, and being impeccably honest.
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