Connected Families Podcast

Latest Episodes:

How to Connect with Your Kids in Any Circumstance | Ep. 47 Dec 09, 2020

Show notes

As you’re heading into some potentially stressful situations over the next few weeks (changing schedules, relatives who might judge your parenting, or not feeling connected to your kiddos) take some time and listen to this encouraging podcast we pulled out of the archives. (This podcast originally aired in 2015.) Jim and Lynne Jackson, co-founders of Connected Families, were interviewed by Heather MacFadyen of the Don't Mom Alone podcast (formally God Centered Mom). While some of the scenarios may not be relevant to today (car rides to see relatives, eating in restaurants), they give some really practical tips and scripts that can always be used, whatever the circumstance. With an overview of the Connected Families Framework for parenting, you will feel equipped to keep your cool (and even connect!) with your kids during this time. The strategies and stories discussed will give you a vision for hope-filled holidays. Highlights of their conversation: Why kids can behave better at school/other places and fall apart at home.Helping your kids get through challenging scenarios, like traveling and restaurants.How to connect with your kids when you don’t even like them.Do you feel like relatives might judge your parenting? Learn to recognize your need to get your parents’ approval (the grandparents) when kids misbehave. What to do when you are trying to connect with your child and they are not responding. So, maybe while running errands, wrapping gifts, or folding laundry listen to this interview. You’ll be refreshed, encouraged and challenged. You might even come out on the other side of Christmas with an extra measure of joy! Blessings as you lead your family with grace this holiday season! Mentioned in this podcast: Discipline That Connects with Your Child's Heart online course Sibling Conflict online course

What Causes Anger Issues in a Child? | Ep. 46 Nov 11, 2020

Show notes

What do you do when your child gets angry? What causes anger issues in a child? When kids respond with angry, aggressive behavior, stress and fear are often the underlying emotions. Children who have experienced trauma often react with heightened fear responses. In this podcast episode, Jim and Lynne Jackson, co-founders of Connected Families, continue their conversation with Lisa Qualls about parenting kids from hard places. Lisa is the co-author, together with the late Dr. Karyn Purvis, of The Connected Parent: Real-Life Strategies for Building Trust and Attachment. In today’s episode, they talk about the importance of nurturing to connect, attach, and create safety with your child. “When we nurture a child we are really disarming that fear response. We’re bringing them into a calm space where they feel and know that they are precious and loved.” -Lisa Qualls As parents, we can learn to understand our child’s fear and how it affects their body. With some basic tools and preparation, you can work to get ahead of your child’s needs and help them avoid a heightened state of fear. You can bring regulation and calm to your child through thoughtful nurture: bringing them close and meeting their needs. In this episode you will: hear practical ways to nurture your child, even when they are angry learn how cortisol affects your child's body discover tools to meet kids’ sensory needs learn how to disarm fear and meet the physical need Mentioned in this episode: The Connected Parent: Real-Life Strategies for Building Trust and Attachment Karyn Purvis Institute of Child Development “One Thankful Mom” - Lisa Qualls’ website The Adoption Connection - Lisa Qualls’ podcast Connected Families Comprehensive Sensory Activities List 50 Self-Regulation Activities to Empower Your Child to Calm

Parenting Kids from Hard Places with Unique Needs | Ep. 45 Nov 04, 2020

Show notes

Are you parenting a child through adoption or foster care? Are you struggling with bonding to your child or their attachment to you? Your feelings of isolation and discouragement can be very real and overwhelming. As an adoptive parent, maybe you’ve experienced a heightened sense of grief as you search for answers in unfamiliar parenting territory. If you are looking for practical hope, you will find both solidarity and strategies here for your parenting journey. NOTE: Even if you are not parenting a child through adoption or foster care, we encourage you to take the time to listen. You will undoubtedly begin to understand the complexities your friends who have adopted experience daily. You may even pick up a few tips that can be applied in your own family! On today’s podcast: Today on the Connected Families Podcast, co-founders Jim and Lynne Jackson interview special guest, Lisa Qualls. Lisa and her husband are the parents of twelve children by birth and adoption. Lisa is the co-author, together with the late Dr. Karyn Purvis, of The Connected Parent: Real-Life Strategies for Building Trust and Attachment. As a seasoned biological parent, Lisa did not anticipate the extent of the trauma and intense behavior in her children who joined their family through adoption. While witnessing these extreme behaviors, she watched the foundation of her family begin to crumble. After finding new hope and new resources in Dr. Purvis’ book, The Connected Child, the idea for The Connected Parent was born. This book combines real-life strategies taken from Dr. Karyn Purvis’ knowledge, with experiences from Lisa’s everyday life. Listen as Jim and Lynne discuss the foundations of the Connected Families Framework with Lisa. Together they also explore the mission of the Karyn Purvis Institute, and the importance of the foundation of safety and attachment. In this episode you will: find hope and guidance in parenting children from hard placesreceive practical ideas for connecting with your struggling childdiscover the power of using “simple scripts” in your parentinghear about the importance of self-calm in becoming a safe parent learn more about the Connected Families Framework Mentioned in this episode: Connected Families FrameworkThe Connected Parent: Real-Life Strategies for Building Trust and AttachmentKaryn Purvis Institute of Child Development“One Thankful Mom” - Lisa Qualls’ websiteThe Adoption Connection - Lisa Qualls’ podcast

Enjoy Your Children the Way You Always Wanted To | Ep. 44 Sep 23, 2020

Show notes

Are you scrambling to find clarity and help in your parenting? Are you struggling to find practical tools that bring lasting change? Do you wish you enjoyed your children more? Discover the power of connection and the hope of restoring a more peaceful relationship with your child! How one mom learned to enjoy her children Today’s guest is Emily, an alum of the Discipline That Connects with Your Child’s Heart online course. Emily and her husband have three boys. They experienced many of the typical challenges parents often face, as well as a rough transition in the adoption of their third son. The stress of this transition was causing intense behavior in her children, and Emily knew she needed a different way to discipline than the way she had disciplined prior to their adoption. After hearing from friends who attended a workshop led by Jim and Lynne Jackson, Emily knew this was the way she wanted to parent. She signed up for the DTC online course, and discovered the power of the Connected Families framework. In the course she learned the importance of self-evaluation: “What’s going on in me as a parent?” She also gained a more empathetic view of her children, and found that the way God relates to us can inspire how we connect with our children. Instead of trying to fix her kids’ behavior, Emily began using wisdom to guide her children toward the gifts that God instilled in them. She saw her children soften toward her, and toward the message of the gospel of Jesus’ love. Bringing God's grace to your parenting Join Stacy Bellward (DTC course moderator) and Jim Jackson (co-founder of Connected Families), as they share Emily’s story. Everything we do and teach at Connected Families flows through the ideas that we present in this online course. In short: it is a way of parenting that brings God’s grace and truth into the daily interactions with your children. In this episode you will: Discover how to build a foundation of connectedness and attachment with your child.Learn the importance of finding the gift gone awry; of looking at the gifting beneath the misbehavior, and helping your children use their gifts the way God designed.Hear how the framework can provide unity of vision with your spouse in parenting.Find hope that you can enjoy your children the way you’ve always wanted to. Mentioned in this episode: Ephesians 2:10

Parents: Feeling Burned Out? Try This. | Ep. 43 Sep 16, 2020

Show notes

Feeling burned out at the end of the day? Does parenting (and discipline) leave you feeling overwhelmed and discouraged? If you are feeling "parenting burnout" there is help and hope. Perhaps you will identify with our guests today, Nate and Amanda. This couple joins us to discuss the burnout parents often face in the discipline process with their kids. What does parenting burnout look like? Like so many couples, Nate and Amanda were enthusiastic and confident before their children were born. They were ready with ideas about how they would parent and connect with their children. Yet, like many of us, they discovered that the reality of parenting did not always match those expectations. They had great intentions, but struggled to put those intentions into action. As parents, we can get tired and discouraged. Do you feel yourself grasping for control and wanting an immediate fix for your child’s behavior? Often the desire to get the right behavior from our kids can impede the relationship and cause us to lose opportunities to connect. What’s going on in me? Amanda and Nate found new hope and perspective after taking the Discipline That Connects online course. They learned to build a foundation of safety for their children by asking themselves, “What is going on in me?” Amanda noticed that her anxiety about her children’s future caused more exhaustion and brought more tension to the situation. By implementing the practical and biblical strategies they learned together in the course, Nate and Amanda began walking a new path to decrease stress and bring energy back to their parenting. Join Stacy Bellward (DTC course moderator) and Jim Jackson (co-founder of Connected Families), as they talk with Nate and Amanda about the DTC course, and a long term vision for parenting that builds safety and connection. Hear about our unique combination of a biblical framework and a practical science-based approach that can totally shift how you view discipline, and help you build connection with your kids. In this episode you will: Discover how to parent from a place of peace and calm.Learn the value of staying in the moment (and avoid catastrophizing!).Hear practical examples from parents who have been through the course, and how it helped them create more connection with their kids.Learn the power of do-overs and developing new brain pathways to help kids make better choices.Get an overview of the Connected Families framework. Want to learn more? Jim recorded this 38-minute audio thinking about dads (although moms can listen too!). If your wife has recently been digging into our material and is urging you to “get on board!” this is a great place to start!

Parenting from a Place of Fear Sep 09, 2020

Show notes

“My kids will never grow up to be responsible!” “I am a terrible parent, and my child and I will never get along!” Are you parenting from a place of fear? Even catastrophizing a situation? Do you find yourself replaying negative thoughts in your mind about yourself and your child? You are absolutely not alone! It’s easy to let fears about our parenting and our kids grip us and cause anxiety. Toxic beliefs can affect our own hearts, and the hearts of our children. These beliefs are like a recording that plays over and over in our head. We hear a voice that says we don’t measure up, or we make negative assumptions about our kids, and we act out on those beliefs. This kind of thinking can cause us to parent from a place of fear. Your intentions are probably good. You want to become more aware of what’s going on inside your heart, and guide your children from a place of calm and peace. One mom's story of parenting from a place of fear Join Stacy Bellward (DTC course moderator) and Jim Jackson (co-founder of Connected Families), in an honest conversation about why it is so important to identify our toxic beliefs and replace them with grace-filled truth. Learn practical steps you can take to tame these beliefs and lead your family without fear. Also joining us is Rebecca, a mom who took our Discipline That Connects with Your Child’s Heart online parenting course. Rebecca shares the impact of this course, and how over time it improved her connection with her children. Listen as she shares her struggles with her own fears and toxic beliefs, and how she learned to replace those beliefs with thoughts that encourage safety and connection. In this episode, you will: Gain insight into why we sometimes parent from fear, and wisdom in working toward parenting from joy and peace.Learn to identify toxic beliefs, take those thoughts captive, and replace them with grace-filled truth. Hear practical ways to model self-calming strategies to your kids.Discover more about the Connected Families Framework, and how to build the foundation for connection and safety with your kids. Frustrated by constant discipline challenges? Take 15 minutes to read our free ebook 4 Messages All Children Long to Hear: A Discipline That Connects Overview.

What to Do When Kids Are Scared of the World Around Them | Ep. 41 Jul 29, 2020

Show notes

Are your kids scared of the world around them? How are you talking about anxiety with your kids these days? In current times coping is harder, and there seems to be more reasons to worry than usual. You may experience tension when your family gathers because everyone views what's happening in our world through different lenses, and with different opinions. Relationships with some of the most important people in your lives seem at risk. It can be hard to talk about things that concern or upset us. When we are anxious, our kids are the first to know. Kids have a keen radar that senses when things are off in our world. When their radar picks up anxiety, the anxiety spreads. In today’s episode, we discuss the anxiety that can come from things we can’t control, the things that happen outside our walls: Social unrest, pandemics, politics, and school policies and decisions. We WILL have trouble in this world Jesus promises we will have trouble in this world. In the midst of such trouble, you have a unique opportunity to empower your kids to be thoughtful and compassionate in their relationships with others. Learning to approach your kids with grace and wisdom can help keep your family grounded, and growing in God’s love and purposes, during uncertain times. This podcast is the fourth and final episode in a four-part series about anxiety. Listen in as Jim and Lynne Jackson, co-founders of Connected Families, together with close colleague and marriage and family therapist, Chad Hayenga, discuss this relevant topic from a faith-filled, biblically-oriented perspective. In this episode This episode is packed full of rich conversation and practical insights about tough topics. In this episode you will: Explore habits that keep you grounded and help you “take every thought captive.”Discover how to have honest conversations with your kids with a “Big Picture” perspective.Learn how to communicate to your kids: “You are called and capable of figuring out even these really challenging problems!”Hear practical ways to have conversations about big feelings with respect and kindness.Gain insight in how to teach kids to wrestle well with their fears, listen better, and learn from the perspectives of others. The reign and the rule of Jesus’ kingdom is as present and powerful now more than ever. We are all called to be part of this heavenly kingdom. Whatever trouble you are experiencing, the power and force of God's goodness and grace are the most potent ways to overcome anxiety. Mentioned in this podcast: John 16:33Colossians 3:12,132 Corinthians 10:5John 18:36Philippians 4:6-8Philippians 4:11Matthew 6:25-34Numbers 6:24-26Family Meetings OverviewIs Your Child Refusing to Do Schoolwork?Free Resources from Connected Families Like what you hear? Don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and review Connected Families podcasts so you don’t miss a single episode and others can find us more easily! Want to learn more? This content from this podcast is also available in our blog post called: Teach Your Kids to Trust God...In Times of Unrest and Pandemic. In our online course, The Power of Questions: Less Arguing. More Wisdom., you will learn the art of asking questions that build internal wisdom and character in your kids, and create a culture of teamwork in your family. Join us today! Here is what Mark and Kim had to say after finishing the course: We wish we’d had this training many years ago when starting our parenting journey, but we’ve found that it’s never too late to connect with each other and build up our family team. Changing our perspective and approaching our children (even the ones who are now young adults!) with light-hearted curiosity instead of judgmental lectures is a game-changer.

What to Do About the Things Kids Are Scared of At Home | Ep. 40 Jul 22, 2020

Show notes

Mealtime battles, bedtime drama, homework struggles... Can you relate to these anxiety triggers in your home? Often there are deeper emotions under the surface, for both parents and children, that contribute to these conflicts. When we acknowledge and validate the emotions that drive our children’s anxiety, we can better equip them to self-regulate. Validating emotions also helps us avoid anxiety-producing power struggles. This equips us to approach these struggles in a way that empowers our children to feel safe, loved, and capable. We are excited to bring you episode three in our four-part Anxiety Series. Today Jim and Lynne Jackson, co-founders of Connected Families, together with Chad Hayenga, marriage and family therapist, dig deeper on what some of the anxiety triggers might be in your home. Listen in as they talk about separation anxiety, homework, school, mealtimes, and more. In this episode about anxiety triggers you’ll learn: Practical ideas to reduce power struggles at mealtimeHow to approach homework battles with compassion while encouraging responsibility at the same timeHow to validate your child’s anxious feelings Ways to empower your children to feel safe and speak up for what they need Mentioned in this podcast: 7 Practical Tips for Picky Eaters Raise a Healthy Child Who Is a Joy to Feed- Ellyn Satter Responding with Compassion When Kids Don't Make the Grade Practical Help for Families Struggling with Separation Anxiety Bedtime Struggles Connected Families FREE Resources Like what you hear? Don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and review Connected Families podcasts so you don’t miss a single episode and others can find us more easily! Sign up below to receive a weekly dose of encouragement straight to your inbox:

How to Teach Your Child Not to Be Scared | Ep. 39 Jul 15, 2020

Show notes

How do you teach your child not to be scared? Bedtime, meals, learning at home, performance anxiety, and separation anxiety can all be sources of anxiety for kids. This is especially true for kids who may be highly sensitive. Kids who struggle with anxiety are often more “on alert” than other children, and don’t always assess danger well. Kids who are anxious can also get their cues from parents. The more we try to create an environment that keeps kids out of a highly-alert state, the more sense of peace and calm the child can feel. In our previous podcast episode, we discussed how modeling a calm spirit is a vital part of calming an anxious child. In this episode, you’ll learn how to empower your children to constructively work through their anxiety, and to experience God’s peace and purpose for their lives. This podcast is the second in a four-part series about anxiety. Listen in as Jim and Lynne Jackson, co-founders of Connected Families, together with close colleague, and marriage and family therapist, Chad Hayenga, explore some of the best ways to encourage kids when they experience anxiety. Among the many practical tools in this podcast, you’ll learn: 3 “Don’ts” that can add to your child’s anxiety.3 “Do’s” that can equip your kids with confidence-boosting skills to handle anxiety.How to help your kids feel empowered with a teamwork mentality, and in their God-given identity to be brave. Mentioned in this podcast: Philippians 4:6,7Ephesians 2:10Joshua 1:9The Opposite of Worry: The Playful Parenting Approach to Childhood Anxieties and Fears (includes the “second chicken” story mentioned in today’s podcast episode)Helping Your Highly Sensitive ChildHow to Create a Simple Sensory Diet for Restless, Homebound KidsBuilding Your Inner Coach-Brett LedbetterDan Siegel: Name it to Tame it Wondering if you have a highly sensitive child? Check out the sister article for this podcast: Helping Your Highly Sensitive Child. Like what you hear? Don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and review Connected Families podcasts so you don’t miss a single episode and others can find us more easily! Frustrated by constant discipline challenges? Take 15 minutes to read our free ebook 4 Messages All Children Long to Hear: A Discipline That Connects Overview.

My Child is Afraid of Everything | Ep. 38 Jul 08, 2020

Show notes

Do you feel like your child is afraid of everything? Where does anxiety come from in our kids? This is a huge struggle parents often face, especially when tensions are high in the world around us. A survey Connected Families conducted in spring of 2020 revealed that 70% of families in the CF community have reported elevated levels of anxiety in recent months. If you are experiencing this, you are not alone! Kids’ struggles and misbehavior can increase everyone's anxiety and the tension in the home. Our own anxious thoughts about children's misbehavior can cause us to try harder to control kids, which discourages them and escalates the problem. Our own anxious thoughts about this behavior can cause discouragement in our children, and can also cause us to become more controlling. You have good intentions to help your child manage their big emotions. What can you do to wrestle well with this issue of anxiety in the home? Today’s podcast is the first in a four-part series about anxiety. Listen in as Jim and Lynne Jackson (co-founders of Connected Families) and Chad Hayenga (MA, LMFT, CLC) discuss the root of our anxiety struggles both for kids and for us as parents. In this episode: Learn about the cycle that can cause anxiety in both you and your kids.Think practically about your anxiety and how to model healthy habits to your kids. Discover how to take control of negative thoughts and develop a more peaceful mindset.Identify the Antidote Cycle for growing away from the anxious habits we have. Mentioned in this podcast: Philippians 4:6-9 1 John 4:18 2 Corinthians 10:5 How to Create a Simple Sensory Diet for Restless, Homebound Kids Want to learn more? Our blog post "Are You Micromanaging Your Kids?" Here's How to Stop gives more practical and helpful tips to stop parenting from a place of anxiety. Like what you hear? Don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and review Connected Families podcasts so you don’t miss a single episode and others can find us more easily! In our online course, The Power of Questions: Less Arguing. More Wisdom., you will learn the art of asking questions that build internal wisdom and character in your kids, and create a culture of teamwork in your family.

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