Connected Families Podcast

Latest Episodes:

The Key to Unlocking Wisdom and Responsibility in Kids Sep 27, 2021

Show notes

Your child is misbehaving and you just want it to, “Stop!” You want to bring some control to the situation. Emotions escalate. The key to unlocking a Christ-like identity, wisdom, and responsibility in your kids is not a method or a formula. It’s connection.

How to Be Safe for Your Kids | Ep. 76 Sep 20, 2021

Show notes

It’s normal to feel stuck in the frustration of trying to “fix” your child’s behavior. Despite exploring numerous parenting resources and methods, does your heart still feel unsettled? Like you, many other parents feel the same way. Patterns of control, yelling, blaming, and shaming only seem to bring greater disconnection in your relationship with your child. You want things to be different. You want to be safe for your kids, but the patterns seem too ingrained.How can you find a better way to discipline; making sure you are safe for your kids while remaining firm? Today’s podcast gets right to the heart of the Connected Families’ unique and profound biblical Framework for parenting. Stacy Bellward (podcast host) is joined by Jim Jackson (co-founder of Connected Families) and Lydia Rex (Connected Families Parent Coach). Together they discuss the deep and lasting impact of the Connected Families Framework in their own families and in the families of those they work with every day. In this podcast, you’ll learn: the vital shift from “fix my child” to “fix myself” as you seek to build an environment of emotional safety how to approach parenting with curious questions instead of judgment as you build safety and wisdom the toxic thoughts and lies that can keep you stuck in shame as a parent, and how you can identify them and replace them with God’s grace and truth why humility is the “currency” of connection in discipline The Connected Families “Secret Sauce” to genuine, heart-level change in parents and children occurs in communicating the most important messages that our kids long to hear: “You are safe with me” and “You are loved no matter what.” In Jesus’ love, you can show up with safety and connection and be the parent YOU long to be. Your own inner work will overflow to your child as you move past shame and despair to love and grace. Parenting resources mentioned in this podcast: Connected Families FrameworkConnected Families Framework MagnetDiscipline That Connects Fall 2021 Online CourseDiscipline That Connects With Your Child’s Heart (book)Bible verses mentioned: Matthew 12:34, Psalm 139, Philippians 1:6, Romans 6:17,18, James 1:19 About Lydia Rex: Lydia Rex is a registered nurse, wife, and mother of two and has worked with families in many capacities throughout her career and personal life. She’s been a student of Connected Families since 2014, and continues to find it incredibly life-giving for her own family. Areas of her experience/special interest include foster care and adoption, attachment difficulties, developmental and learning disabilities including FASD. She brings a trauma-informed perspective to the Connected Families Framework and the desire to see families find peace and healing - not just on the other side, but in the midst of challenges! Use our "Contact Us" form to connect with Lydia. Want more information about Connected Families? Check out our website! Feel free to contact us and let us know how we can come alongside you in your parenting journey. We are here to guide you towards God's grace for you so that you can pass His grace and truth on to your children!

Why It’s Better to Parent in Community | Ep. 75 Sep 13, 2021

Show notes

Ever feel alone or isolated as a parent? Between navigating your kids’ misbehavior in public, enduring other judgmental parents, and the demands of daily life, staying isolated can often feel easier than attempting social connection and events. Yet parenting without a solid community can bring feelings of anxiety, depression, and loneliness. Just like our kids, we as parents need to feel safety and connection in community too. That comes when we parent in community. What holds us back from parenting in community? And what’s the way forward to more safe, connected, and meaningful parenting relationships? Join us and our guest Heather MacFadyen, founder of Don’t Mom Alone, to hear how she worked through some rough seasons of isolation, and how she learned to build a life-giving parenting community around her. Heather joins Stacy Bellward (podcast host) and Jim Jackson (co-founder of Connected Families) to discuss her inner healing journey, and several life-changing truths that offered her hope and a new perspective. Your child’s choices and behavior don’t define you. When you explore what is going on inside of you as a parent in the safety of God’s grace, you can find hope and a new perspective too. You can dispel the shame and fear that keeps you isolated from parenting in community. In this podcast, you’ll discover: “Isolating ideas” that keep you from interacting with other parents and forming meaningful connection with themThe profound importance of starting with the Foundation of “What’s going on in me?”How shame can keep us isolated from connecting with other parentsThe Connected Families Framework that helps you embrace with grace the humanity of both you and your child We are here for you in your parenting journey. Do you have a parenting testimony to share or have a parenting concern? If so please reach out to us! We hope you have learned life-giving tips today to help you parent with peace and connection. About Heather MacFadyen: Married and a mom to four sons, Heather struggled with the challenges of raising four young boys. She isolated herself from community, fearing embarrassment, rejection, and failure. Slowly she began to reach out to friends again and started to parent in community. Through prayer with friends, God healed wrong identities Heather was holding onto. She started a podcast called “God-Centered Mom” (now Don’t Mom Alone), a show that has been downloaded over 7 million times. Resources mentioned in this podcast: Heather MacFadyen’s website: https://dontmomalone.com/ Don’t Mom Alone: Growing the Relationships You Need to be the Mom You Want to Be by Heather MacFadyen The Soul of Shame: Retelling the Stories We Believe About Ourselves by Curt Thompson Connected Families: Discipline That Connects online course The Connected Families Framework Frustrated by constant discipline challenges? Take 15 minutes to read our free ebook 4 Messages All Children Long to Hear: A Discipline That Connects Overview.

How to Raise a Responsible Student (Who Has a Social Life) | Ep. 74 Aug 23, 2021

Show notes

If you're like most parents, you want your child to be a responsible student. But you also want them to use their time wisely to they can have an active social life. (Aaaannnnd, it would be great if they were good at athletics, debate, excited about youth group every Wednesday night, AND could get their chores done without complaining. 😊) Whatever your child’s strengths and challenges are, each school year brings a new set of hopes and dreams. You want your child to be a responsible student, but you also want them to learn life skills that will set them up for success outside of school. Want a responsible student? In this podcast, Stacy Bellward (podcast host) is joined by Bonnie Williams and Corrie Thetford (Connected Families Parent Coaches). This conversation will bring you incredibly practical and thoughtful strategies to guide your child toward responsibility in their schoolwork and beyond. Coaching your child to be responsible can be an opportunity to build wisdom and connection. Find out how you can create a foundation of safety today that will open your child’s heart to work as a team with you, as you tackle all that life brings this year. In this episode, you’ll hear: Ways to come alongside with support and encouragement while still holding your child responsible for their schoolwork How certain expectations, beliefs, and demands can negatively impact your efforts to help your childLighthearted curious questions you can ask your child to build wisdom and set them up for successThe importance of discerning what’s under the surface causing anxiety and lack of motivation in your child’s schoolwork battles Have you found yourself trying to figure out how to raise a responsible student? What strategies have helped you and your child navigate homework challenges? Is there something you would love to hear more about in our podcasts? We’d love to hear from you! Resources mentioned in this podcast: Connected Families Framework4 Messages Every Child Longs to Hear (FREE ebook)The “Just Right Challenge” About our guests on today’s podcast: Bonnie Williams has a Master of Education in Special Education. She is a wife and the mother of 3 teenagers. She has supported students with learning and behavior challenges for over 25 years, specializing in working with parents with children ages 3 to 15. Helping families apply the Connected Families Framework is what Bonnie is passionate about. By doing this they can learn new strategies to grow in wisdom and help lead them in having peaceful, grace-filled homes. You can reach her by email at newpathways65@gmail.com. Corrie Thetford has a Master of Arts in Marriage and Family Counseling. At some point she and her husband realized that the way they disciplined was driving a wedge between them and their kids. Because of this they sought coaching through Connected Families. Now, as Connected Families Certified Coaches, they work with other families to experience that same change and restored joy that they found through their coaching experience. Together, Corrie and Alan have founded Building Wise Families. You can learn more about them on the Building Wise Families Podcast. You can reach them by email at coaching@buildingwisefamilies.com. If you are not currently following us on Instagram we encourage you to check it out. Our community is growing there and we’d love to partner with you in your parenting with timely encouragement just for you. Find us @connectedfams for your daily dose of parenting tips.

Classroom Anxiety: It’s Common, and You Can Help | Ep. 73 Aug 16, 2021

Show notes

Is your child struggling with anxiety about going back to school? How do you navigate the uncertainties of a new school year? If you and your child are feeling stressed about all the changes and upheaval surrounding school, you are not alone! Classroom anxiety is more common than you think. We have some super helpful information to get you and your kids on the right track for a more calm and connected school year! Today’s episode is absolutely packed with essential information and practical application. This podcast will help you better understand and connect with your child in their struggle with anxiety and possibly even trauma. Stacy Bellward (podcast host) and Lynne Jackson (co-founder of Connected Families) are joined by Jessica Sinarski, LPCMH, (Licensed Professional Counselor of Mental Health) and author of the book Riley the Brave Makes it to School. Using brain science research, Jessica equips parents, teachers, and other professionals to meet the needs of kids who are struggling, and to better incorporate effective trauma-sensitive practices into their interactions with children. Beneath the surface, a child’s challenging behavior can often be anxiety. Entering into these tough situations with calm and safety are absolutely key in reaching your child. When kids externalize these big feelings, they need a safe place to land, and to work through, what is really going on in their brains and in their hearts. When you can understand their behavior and safely communicate I am for you, you can better help your child heal. Powerful and practical tools you will gain in this podcast: The research of what is happening in a child’s brain when they are anxious, and how that behavior may play out in unexpected waysHow to help both you and your child when reacting in the “downstairs brain”Understanding the “turtle,” “tiger,” and “porcupine” response in your child (and in yourself!)Practical ways to apply this information to your child’s back-to-school challenges and classroom anxietyThe power of connection within the Connected Families Framework We’ve compiled a list of great resources for you below, and as always, we are here for you and would love for you to connect with us! (Or check out our parent coaching options.) Resources from Jessica Sinarski: Riley the Brave Makes it to School Brave Brains websiteRiley the BraveWhat’s Inside Your Backpack? Connected Families resources mentioned in this podcast: 4 Messages Every Child Longs to Hear (FREE ebook)Connected Families FrameworkSolve That After-School Crabbiness Additional resources mentioned: The Opposite of Worry by Lawrence CohenAttachment Play by Aletha SolterGood News for Little Hearts series (including Buster Tries to Bail) Arnie and His School Tools: Simple Sensory Solutions That Build Success by Jennifer VeenendallConnection Zoo, a play-based learning tool that helps kids build social and emotional skillsGo Zen, online social and emotional learning programs for kids ages 6-15 Guest bio: Jessica Sinarski, LPCMH, equips parents and professionals to be healers for hurting children. Weaving user-friendly brain science into everything she does, she ignites both passion and know-how in audiences. Extensive post-graduate training and 15+ years as a clinician, consultant, and parent educator led her to create the resource and training platform she couldn’t find elsewhere: BraveBrains. Jessica continues to work as a therapist and clinical supervisor at an innovative adoption support agency in Delaware and serves on the board of directors at the largest Head Start provider in the Bronx, NY. She has shared her expertise as a contributor to magazines, blogs, and podcasts. At home, Jessica’s three busy boys will forever keep her laughing and learning. If you are not currently following us on Instagram we encourage you to check it out. Our community is growing there and we’d love to partner with you in your parenting with timely encouragement just for you. Find us @connectedfams for your daily dose of parenting tips.

Are We Hardwired to Connect? Part 2- Ep. 72 Aug 10, 2021

Show notes

What does the Bible say about connection in parenting? How do we work that out practically in everyday family life? Of course theology is important. But theology alone doesn’t always tell you how long your kids should play a video game, or how to specifically respond when your child asks tough questions. That’s where scientific research comes in! We’ve heard from countless people the reason they continue to access Connected Families resources is because we integrate science and biblical principles. Our goal is to make what can seem lofty into digestible and practical content for parents. Today’s episode is Part 2 of a discussion about what makes the Connected Families parenting approach so unique--the integration of science and Scripture! Jim and Lynne Jackson (co-founders of Connected Families) join Stacy Bellward (podcast host) to continue the conversation about the Connected Families Framework. In this podcast you’ll hear: How scientific research is integrated in the last two steps of the Framework (“You are CALLED and CAPABLE.” and “You are RESPONSIBLE for your actions.”) The importance of listening to your kids without judgment in order to communicate empathy instead of anxietyThe power of calm, light-hearted questions to grow wisdom and responsibility in your childA more effective way to praise your child (that doesn’t lead to people-pleasing!) We have a ton of great resources below to help you in your parenting journey. We hope these resources can be a helpful avenue of guidance and support for your family. Please contact us with any questions, we are here to help! Resources mentioned in this podcast: Hardwired to Connect (2003 Research Report) or check out this link for a summary of the report Carol Dweck- A Study on Praise and Mindsets (video) Scripture references: Ephesians 2:10, 1 Thessalonians 2:7,8, Psalm 139, Proverbs 29:5, Philippians 1:6, 1 Corinthians 6:12, Colossians 3:12 Build Kids Up with Nourishing Affirmation in 30 Seconds (The “ABC’s of Affirmation”) The Power of Questions: Less Arguing. More Wisdom. (online course) FREE Resources: 4 Messages Every Kid Longs to Hear (ebook) and Perspectives on Spanking (ebook) If you are not currently following us on Instagram, we encourage you to check it out. Our community is growing there, and we’d love to partner with you in your parenting with timely encouragement just for you. Find us @connectedfams for your daily dose of parenting tips.

Are We Hardwired to Connect? Part 1-Ep.71 Aug 09, 2021

Show notes

Are you longing for practical parenting resources that address both the spiritual and the scientific? Why are they both important? God created our souls, brains, and bodies, and He wants us to understand His creation. Research affirms the biblical truth that you and your kids are hardwired to connect. The science of connection combined with the wisdom of God’s Word are the heartbeat of all we do and teach at Connected Families. You won't want to miss today’s Connected Families podcast! The Connected Families Framework is compelling and effective. Why? Because of the unique and powerful intersection of science and the Bible. In today’s episode, Stacy Bellward (podcast host) is joined by Jim and Lynne Jackson (co-founders of Connected Families). Together they will discuss how you can be empowered as a parent to form a deep and meaningful connection with your child. Learn to utilize scientific research as you implement biblical truth in your parenting to unlock your child’s heart. Instead of a quick behavior fix, turn your child’s heart toward wisdom built on a foundation of love, safety, and connection. You’ll be equipped in your parenting as you learn about: How the latest research applies to and is interwoven into, the first two levels of the Connect Families Framework (“You are SAFE with me.” and “You are LOVED no matter what.”)How the science of connection affirms biblical truth in parentingA powerful sequence to address behavior used by the FBI that you can use in your parentingPractical ways you can implement the Connected Families Framework in daily life Scripture references and resources mentioned in this episode: The 4 Most Important Messages You Can Send Your Kids Connecting: Healing Ourselves and Our Relationships (book by Larry Crabb)Ephesians 1:3, Luke 1:17 , Proverbs 15:1, 1 John 3:1 If you are not currently following us on Instagram, we encourage you to check it out. Our community is growing there, and we’d love to partner with you in your parenting with timely encouragement just for you. Find us @connectedfams for your daily dose of parenting tips.

Teach Your Child to Have a Growth Mindset with These Four Steps | Ep. 70 Jul 26, 2021

Show notes

Have you heard the buzz about having a "growth mindset"* versus a "fixed mindset"? How can you teach your child to have a growth mindset? When our kids lack the skills to do what we are asking them to do it can create discouragement in your home. Maybe you've even asked yourself the following: “Why isn’t my kid motivated to clean their room?”“How many times do I have to show my child how to load the dishwasher?”“What does it take for my child to notice the towel on the bathroom floor?” It would be great if our kids would just do things they are asked without any difficulties, right? Even better if they actually noticed what needed to be done. Unfortunately, it doesn’t typically happen that way, which leaves everyone feeling frustrated! Growing skills in your kids is important to you, but how do you do that and still communicate safety, love, and connection in your home? In today’s episode, Stacy Bellward (podcast host) and Chad Hayenga (Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Connected Families Coach) share a super practical tool you can use today to help your kids build skills with wisdom and connection. It’s called Motivate. Model. Practice. Praise. This is an intentional process built on the idea that lasting skills are both caught and patiently taught. Modelind and teaching your child to have a growth mindset includes taking the time to learn the underlying emotions they experience while learning new skills. Building wisdom and connection affirms to your child, “You are called and capable of growing and learning new things.” Listen in and you will discover : How to practically use the four steps of Motivate. Model. Practice. Praise.The power of wise questions to help motivate your childThe importance of looking within ourselves to understand and change our own responses to our kidsHow to develop a team concept to get you and your child on the same pageA more effective way to praise your child Resources to help you grow skills in your kids: Motivate. Model. Practice. Praise. Proactively Grow Skills Without Demands and ThreatsThe Power of Questions: Less Arguing. More Wisdom. (Online course)Is There a “Miracle Grow” for Good Behavior? The ABC’s of AffirmationConnected Families FrameworkPhilippians 3:13-14 Do you have a comment about something that’s helped you, a question, or something you would like addressed in a future podcast? Contact us, or get in touch with us about our parent coaching options. We’d love to hear from you! *Growth mindset is a term originally coined by Child Psychologist Carol Dweck and popularized by numerous authors. Our use of the term is most closely informed by her work. Download our FREE in-depth ebook Helping Kids With Anger. It will provide thoughtful insights and creative ideas to help your struggling child.

Help! My Child Keeps Unbuckling and the Kids are Spitting! | Ep. 69 Jul 19, 2021

Show notes

Your child keeps unbuckling their seatbelt in a tantrum while you are driving down a busy road. One of your kids spits at his sibling when he gets angry. What do you do when your child has big emotions and actions, and despite your best efforts to implement connection and correction, the behavior doesn’t seem to improve? Maybe you’ve experienced challenging situations like these, and you don’t even know where to start. In today’s episode, Stacy Bellward (podcast host) is joined by Jim and Lynne Jackson (co-founders of Connected Families) to discuss some of the challenging questions parents ask about correction. (Like, "What do I do when my child keep unbuckling?) Using the Connected Families Framework, Jim and Lynne walk through several of these situations, offering unique thoughts about ways to hold your child responsible, but still kindly and firmly communicate, you are safe and loved. In this episode you’ll discover: The Connected Families Framework, and the power of asking wise questions to impart wisdom (instead of just managing behavior)How to search for the underlying issues (such as sensory) that could be contributing to misbehaviorWhat it means to allow your child to experience the natural impact of their choicesDisarming tense situations in unique waysHow to help kids communicate in ways that honor themselves and others Even when the way forward during correction isn’t clear, you can build a bridge to empathy for your child by helping them connect their strong emotions to empowering words. You can help them find a way to communicate what’s going on under the surface of the misbehavior, and guide them to make wiser choices. Helpful resources mentioned in this podcast: Connected Families FrameworkFREE Parenting Assessment Want to learn more? Connection in Correction (Love No Matter What!)Helping Kids With Anger (ebook)“The habit of connecting first makes the bigger issues of life easier to handle.”

Christian Discipline: The story behind our unique framework for parenting | Ep. 68 Jul 12, 2021

Show notes

As a parent you might feel overwhelmed with the mountain of resources available to you regarding Christian discipline. From podcasts, to books, to seminars, there is no shortage of available content you could access. But, when you are Christ-follower AND you are tuned into the latest in research and attachment-based parenting, you are looking for something more. Something that combines heart, soul, and body. Connected Families was born from this deeply felt need of parents who were longing for real solutions and a deeper connection with their kids. Chad Hayenga (Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Connected Families Coach) hosts Jim and Lynne Jackson (co-founders of Connected Families) for a very special interview about the founding roots of Connected Families and their exciting vision for the future. From a 3:00am wake-up call from God to a community of thousands of parents, hear how God has uniquely guided every step of the Connected Families journey with wisdom and purpose. Join us for today’s podcast to learn more about the past, present, and future of Connected Families! In this episode you’ll hear: How the intensity of Jim and Lynne’s own family informed Connected Families and moved them forward in their ministry to other parents The impact of the Connected Families Framework for parents, within the organization’s team, and within Jim and Lynne’s work as a married couple serving in ministry together The vital role of Connected Families parent communities and the Insiders Team The compelling future vision for the Connected Families ministry Thank you for partnering with us and being a part of our Connected Families community! As always, please reach out to us and let us know how we can continue to come alongside you in your parenting journey. Connected Families resources and opportunities mentioned in this podcast: Discipline That Connects With Your Child’s Heart (book) How to Grow a Connected Family Connected Families Insiders Team

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