Coming Out Pod

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Episode 273: Moe Ari Brown, Hinge's Love and Connection Expert! Nov 01, 2023

Show notes

Over the next two months, Hinge's NFAQ (Not-so Frequently Asked Questions) will be highlighting the experiences of bisexual daters, and so we're having a bi-extravaganza this week on the pod with Hinge's new Love and Connection Expert, Moe Ari Brown! But Lauren didn't want to dive into these waters all by her (gay) lonesome, and so she's also joined by guest co-host Kyrsta Morehouse, whose debut collection of (very bisexual) poetry has just been released! Besides being a GODDAMNED DELIGHT, Moe (they/he) is a Black non-binary transgender person from the South Side of Chicago, whose very first coming out was as bisexual. As such, they have the unique experience of having openly identified as both a bisexual woman *and* a bisexual man! We have an absolutely fascinating conversation about alllllllll of the challenges that bisexual people face when dating, including misconceptions across the gender spectrum, and the insidiousness of bi imposter syndrome. Plus, Moe shares their personal coming out journey, and how it led them to their current work!
Check out Hinge's Not-so Frequently Asked Questions (and submit some yourself!) at hinge.nfaq.co, and follow Moe on Instagram and TikTok at @loveoutproud! Also, go to theemoeari.com for all things Moe, and listen to the Be Your Own Love Goals Podcast that Moe co-hosts with their wife! Finally, follow Kyrsta on Instagram at @kyrstashae, and hit up poetrybykyrsta.com to find out where you can buy "As Long As This Heart Beats," her BEAUTIFUL debut collection!

Episode 272: Jahni Leggett Oct 25, 2023

Show notes

Tomorrow is Intersex Awareness Day 2023, and Lauren has a guest whom she's wanted to have on the podcast ever since she saw her do an Insta Live for Intersex Awareness Day 2022! Jahni Leggett has a number of intersecting identities (fat! Black! someone with ADHD!), but describes her intersex identity as the foundation or "fixed point" that informs all of the others. Jahni was raised as a boy by a single father who had very heteronormative, machismo-tinged expectations for her...but in Jahni's own words, "things started to get funky" around fourth or fifth grade, when she suddenly began to develop breasts. This is only the beginning of Jahni's story, which she tells with humor, charisma, and an *incredible* amount of grace and compassion for those involved along the way. From unexpectedly finding radical acceptance and empowerment through sex work to finally receiving a diagnosis that made everything fall into place, Jahni's story is a true celebration of intersex identity! Happy Intersex Awareness Day, y'all!
(TW: mentions of underage sex work, but nothing descriptive)
Follow Jahni on Instagram at @queen_jahni_, and watch the fantastic video she made with Jubilee at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UvKbfegN1g0, where it has over ONE MILLION VIEWS! Also, if *you* are intersex and are looking for community, check out the L.A. LGBT Center's Club Intersex at https://lalgbtcenter.org/programs/community-support-groups/intersex-support/!

Episode 271: Elle Forbes Oct 18, 2023

Show notes

This week on the pod: Lauren sits down with L.A. LGBT Center facilitator *and* participant, Elle Forbes (they/them)! Elle identifies as bisexual, transfeminine non-binary, and aroace, so buckle up, everybody: we're talking three coming outs MINIMUM! Elle's journey contains its fair share of darkness, but now that they've fully stepped into their identity, their exuberance is palpable. Elle shares how coming out as bisexual "was a need; not a want," and explains why their gender realization took a good deal longer ("we hide ourselves from ourselves"). Inspired by Nicole's vulnerability in previous episodes, we also have a candid discussion about cheating, and Lauren manages to not-so-subtly sneak in the pod's ten thousandth Rachel Weisz reference. IT'S A GIFT!!!
(TW: mention of sexual abuse, but nothing descriptive)
Follow Elle on Instagram at @icanseequeerlynowtherainisgone, and check out all of the community groups the L.A. LGBT Center has to offer at https://socialnet.lalgbtcenter.org/social-networking-groups/. Also, as discussed in this episode, sign up for weekly emails from Cuties at hicuties.com, and follow them on Insta at @cutiesla!

Episode 270: Parisa Akhbari Oct 11, 2023

Show notes

Today, October 11th, is National Coming Out Day, and the pod is celebrating with a *truly* delightful conversation with mental health therapist and writer, Parisa Akhbari! Parisa had an abstract fear of lesbianism throughout her early adolescence; enough so that she asked her mother at the age of eight if lesbians were "good people." But when her older sister came out a few years later, Parisa felt a huge sense of relief that "oh, it was HER the whole time - it wasn't me!" Parisa continued to repress her feelings for girls throughout high school (despite some same-sex smooching...), and not long after she'd started college, the idea of dating *anyone* went out the window when she was diagnosed with a debilitating disability. Parisa shares the beautiful story of how the Persian new year Nowruz ended up doubling as her own coming out celebration, and describes how her queer YA novel, "Just Another Epic Love Poem," is overflowing with love for her wife. Also: the legend of the Rusty Pelican, and why it gave a young Parisa butterflies!
Follow Parisa on Twitter and TikTok at @ParisaWrites, and on Instagram at @authorparisa (where you can also check out The Queer Muslim Project she mentioned at @thequeermuslimproject). And go to Parisa's website, parisawrites.com, to sign up for her newsletter and pre-order "Just Another Epic Love Poem," which comes out on March 12th, 2024!

Episode 269: Marshall John Blount Oct 04, 2023

Show notes

Netflix's Sex Education recently dropped its final season, and with it came a new asexual character who - while groundbreaking - has proven to be quite divisive within the ace community. To that end, it seemed like the perfect time for Lauren to have a conversation with asexual activist Marshall John Blount, known online as the Gentle Giant Ace! Marshall was homeschooled by his mother from third grade onward, so he didn't directly experience the social pressures of high school dating. Even so, he knew that he felt "different" from his peers, and when he finally confided this to a family member, the information that she gave him on asexuality was a revelation. Marshall discusses the specific set of challenges that Black asexual people face, and shares how, even in activist spaces, he is almost always the only person like him in the room. He also explains why he literally wears his identity on his sleeve (or rather on his back, in the form of an ace pride flag), and much more!
Find Marshall on Twitter at @AceGentle, on TikTok at @gentlegiantace93, and on YouTube and Facebook as Marshall John Blount!

Episode 268: Irina Rivkin Sep 27, 2023

Show notes

Lauren has a beautiful conversation with singer-songwriter Irina Rivkin, who identifies as "a lesbian queer femme dyke with disabilities" as well as ambiamorous, which for her means "my heart is capable of loving more than one person...but also doesn't mean that I *must* be in multiple relationships." Irina's family had to flee Russia in the '70s, and subsequently settled in the U.S. as refugees when Irina and her twin sister were just five years old. But despite being in a safer country, Irina didn't feel safe within her strict, conservative family, where there were "a lot of consequences to non-conformity." As a result, Irina's same-sex attraction didn't really register for her until she went off to UC Berkeley...and suddenly found herself in a progressive environment teeming with eminently-crushable butch women! Irina's coming out story involves *literally* bursting through a closet door, not to mention a queer kissing booth! She also discusses accidentally outing herself to her parents, and graces us with a GORGEOUS live performance of "Ya Eyo Lublu," her self-described "Russian-Jewish-lesbian-émigré-coming-out-love-song," which won the 2003 Outmusic Award for Outsong of the Year!
You can listen to more of Irina's beautiful music (and find out about her virtual performances!) on YouTube at youtube.com/irinarivkin, and on Facebook at facebook.com/IrinaRivkin.

Episode 267: Tera Wozniak Stortz Sep 20, 2023

Show notes

Tera Wozniak Stortz, founder of the Queer Divorce Club, remembers one fleeting moment in high school when it ever-so-briefly crossed her mind that she might be a lesbian. For the most part, though, Tera thought that her lack of attraction to men simply meant that she was "broken." Like many in her position, Tera ended up in a long-term heteronormative marriage, and kept herself moving at such a breakneck pace that she never had time to truly examine her identity. But when Tera and her husband became polyamorous and Tera started having experiences with women...the truth that she'd been repressing for decades became impossible to ignore. Tera shares how opening her marriage led to her meeting her current partner, and describes how she and her now ex-husband explained their divorce to their two young children in a transparent but age-appropriate way. We also discuss the unique difficulties (not to mention stigmas) that come with getting "queer divorced," and Tera shares how she created the Queer Divorce Club around the central idea that "we can all get divorced in our own way."
Interested in the Queer Divorce Club?? You can check out their website at queerdivorceclub.com, and request to join their private Facebook group at facebook.com/groups/queerdivorceclub. You can also learn more about Tera at terawozniakstortz.com, and follow her on Instagram at @tera.queerdivorceclub and on TikTok at @teraqueerdivorceclub!

Episode 266: Amanda Slawinski Sep 13, 2023

Show notes

"Long-time listener, first-time guest" Amanda Slawinski's coming out journey began with a covert kiss behind a purposefully-closed door at the tender age of five...but then didn't pick up again until eighteen years later. Amanda identifies as queer, demisexual, and a "recovering Catholic," so it's no surprise that sex of any kind was NOT discussed in her family home (even the Gilmore Girls were frowned upon). Ironically, though, an unscripted moment during Catholic Mass the Sunday after marriage equality passed in New York ended up becoming a huge turning point in her life. Amanda describes having her first ever queer experience one week before the pandemic hit (timing is everything!), and shares how finding THIS VERY PODCAST during lockdown assisted her on her coming out journey! Lauren and Amanda also discuss what demisexuality means to them, and we relive the adolescent Gay Panic (TM) of worrying that your family will discover you made all your Sims gay!
Follow Amanda on Instagram at @yogawithmoo, and hit her up if you're in the NYC area and are interested in yoga or meditation classes! You can also request to follow her private Insta account at @amanda.slawinski.

Episode 265: Jupiter Zirkua Sep 06, 2023

Show notes

Musician Jupiter Zirkua (she/they) describes her story as "a lot of bleak stuff," but with "a bookend to it that's really sweet," and she delivers on both promises. Raised in rural Florida by a single mother, Jupiter's first introduction to the idea of gender nonconformity was a kindergarten teacher at a Tampa Catholic school. But while Jupiter was aware of the pansexual aspect of her identity from a fairly early age, it would take years before she felt secure enough to truly begin engaging with her transness. From coming out in a sewer (yup!) to leaving home at the age of sixteen, Jupiter tells her story with a degree of levity and heart that is deeply impressive in the face of all she's had to overcome. We talk about She Who Must Not Be Named, Elliot Page, and Jupiter's most personal album yet; plus, Jupiter discusses the freedom and emotional-shorthand of being in a relationship with another trans person!
(TW: grooming and child abuse, both physical and sexual)
You can listen to Jupiter's back catalog by searching "Stuffy Doll" wherever you get your music, and check out MxDmG exclusively on Bandcamp! You can also follow Jupiter at @stuffydollband on Insta and Tumblr, and @stuffydoll on Bluesky. Lastly, the queer content creators who Jupiter shouted out are Teddy Hold On (@teddyholdon on Insta) and Zhalarina (@zhalarina on Insta), both of whom have music available wherever you do your streaming!

Episode 264: Sarah Ravenscroft Aug 30, 2023

Show notes

If you're an old school listener of the pod, then over the years you've probably heard Lauren and Nicole mention their SINGLE GREATEST SUCCESS STORY* as podcasters, which is the marriage of Episode 25 guest Vanessa Ravenscroft. Well, get ready for a lovey-dovey episode, because today Lauren and her guest co-host Vanessa are talking to the woman who made it all possible: baker, artist, and Vanessa's wife, Sarah Ravenscroft! Sarah hit the ground running by living every lesbian's dream (i.e., dating her best friend at an all-girls Catholic high school). But when that relationship had run its course, she found herself grappling with an all-too-relatable queer conundrum: how do you find potential partners; *especially* if you're considered "straight-presenting?" Sarah discusses the queer platonic relationship she entered into with an ace male friend (they had a dog *and* a house!), and the fateful night that Vanessa slid into her DMs. Squeal along with Lauren as Sarah and Vanessa share their love story, from that very first message on Twitter to the day Nicole officiated their wedding at Disneyland!
Follow Sarah and all of her fuzzy/feathered kids on Twitter at @Squatchycat, and on Insta and Threads at @fuzziesoflakeview! Follow Vanessa on Twitter at @LochNessy7891, and on Insta and TikTok at @vanessalynn25!
*(besides finding Ricky)

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