Change Academy

Transcending the grind: How to thrive in the job you have now Feb 06, 2025

Feeling stuck in the daily grind? Quitting isn’t the only way out. In this episode, Dr. Jessica Grossmeier shares how to find meaning, connection, and even transcendence in the job you have now.

We explore:
- How small shifts in perspective can reignite purpose and satisfaction
- The power of workplace connections and why they matter more than you think
- Simple, science-backed practices to reset, refocus, and thrive at work
- Why transcendence is a job skill—and how to cultivate it

Whether you love your job, feel stuck, or are considering a change, this episode will challenge you to think differently about work—and yourself.

Key Takeaways

- Work can be so much more than just tasks and productivity when we bring our best selves and connect to a larger purpose.
- Instead of leaving a job that feels misaligned, shifting how you approach your work can bring new fulfillment.
- Meaningful relationships at work enhance well-being, performance, and job satisfaction
- Create intentional time for space for mindful movement, deep breathing, or intentional connection with colleagues.

Mentioned

Reimagining Workplace Well-Being: Fostering a Culture of Purpose, Connection, and Transcendence, by Jessica Grossmeier

Connect with Jessica on LinkedIn

Free resources

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When we know better, we do better. Here's why. Jan 23, 2025

Ever wondered why some changes seem impossible to sustain while others just click?

It’s not magic—it’s science.

In this episode, we’re talking about a 3-part recipe for behavior change that was first developed 30 years ago and is still making waves today. If you’ve struggled with change or are trying to help others make positive changes, you need to leverage all three of these key factors–in the right proportions.

Key Takeaways

1. Information, motivation, and behavioral skills all play important and interlocking roles in fostering positive behavior change.
2. Strategies that address all three of these factors are likely to be the most effective.
3. By considering the complexity of the behavior, we can tailor our approaches for maximum impact.

Related Episodes

Ep 129: Why it’s so hard to convert good intentions into action

Ep 11: The Attention, Intention, Action Cycle

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How to cope when your life goes completely off the rails Jan 09, 2025

Whenever we make plans or set goals, it's important anticipate the inevitable bumps in the road, and be ready to adapt and course-correct.

But sometimes, life doesn't just serve up a bump in the road. It delivers an earthquake that shakes us to the core and opens up a chasm into which our entire life--and all of our fancy plans--are thrown. In an instant, the goals, projects and ambitions that have been driving our thoughts, activities, and even our identities become irrelevant.

Today, psychologist Bethy Campbell joins me to talk about how to handle it when life goes completely off the rails.

Key Takeaways

Many of us tend to define ourselves by the goals that we set and accomplish. Consider the possibility that how we deal with life’s catastrophes may be even more revealing of our character and identity.
Even when you’re stuck with something you didn’t choose, you still have the power to choose how you respond to and learn from those experiences.
Before we go looking for those silver linings or opportunities, it’s important to allow ourselves to acknowledge our grief and disappointment over what we may have lost.
Even if we are forced to radically recalibrate our goals or our definition of success, setting doable goals gives us something to work toward and celebrate.

Mentioned

Life Directions Consulting with Dr. Bethy Campbell

Wellness Works Here

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Resolution Remix: A 3-Step Ritual That Sets You Up for Success Dec 27, 2024

These final few days of the year are a great time to reflect on the year that’s past and think about what we’d like to focus on or accomplish in the New Year. And in this episode, I’m sharing a three-part process that might just become your new end-of-year ritual. Instead of your New year’s Resolutions being a well-intentioned flash in the pan, we’re going to kindle a flame that will burn brightly all year.

Key Takeaways

- Reflecting on our past successes, however modest, helps build the self-efficacy needed for future change
- Connecting our goals to our values helps us tap into the intrinsic motivations that fuels sustained effort.
- Link each goal to an identity statement that reflects who you want to become, not just what you want to achieve
- Focus on no more than 2-3 goals at a time to avoid overwhelming yourself and diluting your efforts
- Create "if-then" commitments for how you will handle potential obstacles when they arise

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Going beyond pros and cons to get to the heart of tough decisions Dec 16, 2024

Wrestling with a tough choice? Trying to weigh the pros and cons but going in circles? In this episode, I've got a systematic approach to decision-making that can bring some welcome clarity to complex choices.

Whether you're standing at a personal or professional crossroads, or debating different solutions to a problem, this framework will help you understand both the rational and emotional elements of your decision-making process--helping you move forward with more clarity and confidence.

Key Takeaways

- Quantifying vague benefits or drawbacks ("more time" vs. "2 hours per week") can help clarify costs and benefits of different options.
- We sometimes conflate past decisions with current ones, allowing unresolved feelings about previous choices to cloud our present decision-making.
- What feels like indecision may sometimes be unprocessed emotions about what we'll need to let go of - even when we're clear about the right choice.
- Resistance to a logically sound choice often signals important emotional considerations that need attention.

Mentioned
- Decision Scoring Spreadsheet

- Sign up for email notifications

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Escaping the pleasure trap: How to break highly rewarding habits Dec 05, 2024

Struggling with hard-to-quit habits? Whether it's the nightly glass of wine, mindless snacking, or endless social media scrolling, in this episode we're talking about why these habits are so sticky - and more importantly, how to finally change them.

You'll learn how your brain's reward system actually works (it's not what most people think!) and practical strategies for making lasting changes without giving up pleasure altogether.

You'll learn specific techniques for navigating cravings, resetting your reward system, and creating new habits that satisfy your brain's needs in more constructive ways. If you're tired of feeling stuck in cycles of pleasure-seeking behaviors, this episode offers a fresh perspective and actionable solutions for lasting change.

Key Takeaways

1. Some habits are simply routines, but some habitual behaviors engage the brain’s reward centers, which makes them harder to break.
2. Dopamine doesn't make us feel good. It motivates us to pursue certain anticipated rewards.
3. The reward we get from unwholesome habits often gets less potent over time. Recognizing this can be a powerful step toward breaking the cycle.
4. Instead of exhausting your willpower trying to resist these habits, focus on pursuing something else that provides a similar neurochemical reward but without the negative consequences.
5. Changing the context in which a habit occurs can help weaken its hold. The more cues you disrupt, the easier it will be to weaken automatic responses and create new habits

Mentioned

Ep #156: Why we resist positive change

Ep #157: What to do with negative thoughts

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What to do with your negative thoughts Nov 25, 2024

Our thoughts powerfully impact our lives—but we don't always pay enough attention to what we're telling ourselves. In this episode, we’ll take a look at four distinct categories of thoughts: those that are both true and helpful, those that might not be proven but serve us well, those that are true but get in our way, and those that are neither true nor helpful.

I even made you a cool decision tree worksheet to help you apply these concepts to your own thoughts and move forward with more clarity and confidence.

Key Takeaways

Remember that not all true thoughts are helpful—reframing them can better support your growth.
Keep an eye out for absolute statements like "always" or "never;" these are red flags for cognitive distortions.
Thoughts that are neither true nor helpful can be safely disregarded.
Building your "True and Helpful Thought Library" can help keep you focused on your growth and progress.

Mentioned in this Episode

Decision Tree Worksheet

Episode #156: How to Overcome Your Resistance to Change

Workbook/Listening Guide: 8 Things You Need to Create Positive Change

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How to overcome your resistance to change Nov 14, 2024

In this first episode of a three-part series, we are digging in to why we so often resist making positive changes in our lives. Resistance isn't simply stubbornness or laziness; it can be your brain’s way of keeping you safe. The key is to recognize what our resistance is trying to tell us, so that it doesn’t hold us back.

Key Takeaways:

- Remember that resistance is often a self-protection mechanism, not laziness or stubbornness
- Be alert to the four ways that resistance might show up: emotionally, cognitively, socially, and physically
- Instead of fighting resistance, get curious about what it's trying to protect
- Take the smallest possible step toward desired change to build confidence gradually

Lab Experiment

Step 1: Awareness

The next time you notice yourself pushing back against a change - even a positive one - pause and notice what's happening in four areas:

Your emotions: What feelings are coming up?
Your body: Where do you feel the resistance physically?
Your thoughts: What story are you telling yourself?
Your relationships: How might this change affect your connections with others?

Step 2: Curiosity

When you notice resistance, instead of saying "Why can't I just do this?" try asking "What might I be trying to protect?"

Step 3: Incremental Action.

Ask yourself "What's the smallest possible step I could take toward this change?"

Related Listening

Episode #137: How to do the things you don't want to do

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Year-End Recalibration: Let's Make These Last Two Months Count Nov 04, 2024

As the end of the year looms into view, you may feel some regret or disappointment about unmet goals or unrealized ambitions. Add in the chaos of holiday schedules, and it's tempting to shelve all personal objectives until January.

This episode challenges that mindset, showing you how to turn these final months into a period of meaningful progress. Join me to reassess your goals without self-judgment, adapt your habits for the holiday season, and create a focused approach that will allow you to end the year feeling victorious.

Key Takeaways

- Select 1-2 carefully chosen goals for a year-end focus, instead of trying to salvage everything at once.

- Keep your essential habits strong during holiday disruptions by identifying your true non-negotiables.

- Use regular check-ins to stay connected to your objectives and adjust as needed.

- Small, steady actions create more lasting change than big dramatic gestures.

Mentioned

- Episode #154: The Surprising Secret to Enjoying Weekends and Vacations

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The Surprising Secret to Enjoying Weekends and Vacations Oct 24, 2024

Craving a break from your routines? Discover why that might actually be sabotaging your happiness…as well as your progress.

Molly Watts returns to the Change Academy to help me unravel the counterintuitive link between structure and relaxation. Learn how to craft routines that boost mental and physical well-being, make your time off more enjoyable, and ease the transition back into your normal schedule.

Key Takeaways
- It's important to challenge our assumptions about what "freedom" really means in our lives. True freedom often comes from embracing structure, not abandoning it.
- When it comes to improved mental and physical well-being, the consistency of our routines matters more than optimizing them.
- Building awareness of how routine disruptions affect us can help us make better choices.
- Structure and routine are not the opposite of freedom, but the scaffolding that makes freedom possible. With practice, we can learn to find freedom within structure, leading to greater life satisfaction and achievement of our goals.

Mentioned
- Alcohol Minimalist Podcast with Molly Watts

- Weighless Program for sustainable weight management

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Why Change Takes Forever (and Why That’s So Awesome!) Oct 15, 2024

Discover why viewing change as a lifelong journey is not just realistic, but liberating and exciting. Learn how to reframe personal growth as evolution rather than 'fixing' yourself, and explore the powerful concept of change as a form of self-expression. Whether you're working on health, finances, relationships, or any other area of life, this episode will equip you with a new perspective on sustainable personal development.

Key Takeaways:

Develop your 'change muscles': The ability to change is a skill that improves with practice and transfers across different areas of life.
Adopt a flexible mindset: Life is dynamic, so our approach to change should be adaptable rather than rigid.
Reframe change as evolution: Instead of 'fixing' what's broken, focus on growing into who you want to become.
Shift from 'doing' to 'being': Align your actions with your desired identity for more sustainable change.
View ongoing change as self-expression: Your growth journey is a unique way of expressing your values and aspirations.

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The Alchemy of Failure: Finding the treasure hiding in our mistakes Oct 04, 2024

In a world obsessed with success, embracing failure seems a bit counter-cultural. But if it’s good enough for the some of history’s smartest and most successful figures, there’s probably something the rest of us can learn. In fact, an outsized fear of failure could hold us back from our greatest achievements.

Whether you're a perfectionist paralyzed by the fear of making mistakes, or a risk-taker looking to fail smarter, let’s rewrite the script on what it means to fail -- and succeed -- in both personal and professional realms.

Key Takeaways:

Failure is a form of currency that you can use to purchase success.
A growth mindset allows us to view challenges as opportunities for learning and improvement.
Practice cognitive flexibility by examining failures from multiple perspectives.
Approach setbacks with curiosity, analyzing them like a scientist to extract valuable insights.
Remember that avoiding failure often leads to stagnation; taking risks is essential for growth.

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What (and how) you practice matters hugely. Choose well. Sep 20, 2024

In this episode, we explore the role of practice in habit formation and how a thoughtful approach can accelerate your progress more than just mindless repetition. We also talk about the mental aspect of practice and how practicing better thoughts can drive better behaviors.

Practice doesn't make perfect; it makes permanent - choose wisely what you reinforce.

Key Takeaways:
- What we repeat, we reinforce. Be sure you are reinforcing the thoughts and actions that you want to strengthen
- Beware the "streak" trap: While consistency is important, don't let a break in your streak derail your long-term progress
- Quality beats quantity: Focused, deliberate practice yields better results than mindless repetition.
- Mental practice matters: Your thoughts and self-talk are as crucial to practice as physical actions.

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The ultimate guide to giving feedback that gets positive results Sep 06, 2024

Dr. Bethy Campbell joins Monica to explore the delicate dance of offering constructive criticism while maintaining positive relationships. Learn practical strategies for delivering feedback that empowers growth, builds trust, and respects autonomy.

Whether you're offering feedback as a manager, colleague, spouse, or friend, this episode provides pro-level strategies that will transform your communication and foster meaningful change in others.

Key Takeaways

We earn the right to be able to offer feedback by focusing on the relationship first and establishing connection.
Always precede constructive feedback with genuine praise to build trust and boost self-efficacy.
Avoid using "but" when transitioning from praise to constructive feedback, as it tends to negate everything that came before.
Frame constructive feedback positively by encouraging specific alternative behaviors rather than simply telling someone to stop doing something.
When giving feedback, "strike when the iron is cold" to ensure emotions are not running high and both parties are receptive.

Related Listening

Ep #140: Growth Factor: How to ask for (and receive) feedback

Links

Life Directions Consulting with Dr. Bethy Campbell

Meet me in Nashville for the ISCEBS Symposium

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How to create a more effective support strategy Aug 26, 2024

Change is challenging, for all kinds of different reasons. But one thing that can make it more challenging than it actually needs to be is when we insist on going it alone.

Whether you're aiming to improve your health, boost your productivity, or cultivate a new skill, having a solid support strategy can be the difference between frustration and success.

But getting the people around you to support you in ways that you find supportive can be challenging. Here are some ways to set yourself up for success.

Key Takeaways

Be specific when asking for support from friends and family. Don't expect them to read your mind – tell them exactly how they can help.
Remember that unsupportive behavior from others is often more about their own insecurities than about you.
Curate your environment to reflect the person you're becoming. Remove obstacles and add elements that propel you towards your goals.
Seek out people who share your goals and motivations and are actively pursuing the kinds of things you want to incorporate in your life.

Work with Me

30 Day Nutrition Upgrade

Weighless Program

Keynotes and Workshops

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Revisiting the Joy Choice with Michelle Segar Aug 16, 2024

Dr. Michelle Segar is an NIH-funded researcher at the University of Michigan. She’s also a best-selling author and health coach. She’s spent close to thirty years studying how to create sustainable changes and healthy behaviors that can survive the complexity and unpredictability of the real world.

In this episode, Monica talks with Dr. Segar about her newest book, The Joy Choice, as well as her 3-step process for staying on track even when life goes off the rails.

Highlights

Why it is hard to follow through on our best intentions
How research on ADHD has influenced behavior change
The concept of Goal Shielding
How working memory affects our behaviors and how we can leverage it
Michelle's "POP" 3-step process and why play is such an important aspect of it

Mentioned

The Joy Choice, by Michelle Segar

MichelleSegar.com

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3 types of goals and what they reveal about you Aug 06, 2024

Goals come in different flavors--and they don’t all work same way. By understanding the differences, we can uncover ways in which our goals may be a bit fuzzy, lacking support, in conflict with one another, or even just out of balance. That insight can help us fine-tune our efforts, helping us create lives that are healthier, happier, more productive, and more meaningful!

Key Takeaways:

Make sure that your emotional and outcome goals are supported by specific behavioral goals.
There’s an important difference between emotional goals (how we want to feel in our lives) and the desire to simply “feel better right now,” which can often lead us to act in ways that thwart our progress toward our actual goals.
It can be hard to stay motivated by behavioral goals alone, so try to be clear on what emotional or outcome goals your behavioral goals are in service of.
We also want to check our goals for alignment with our other goals and our values and adjust as necessary.

Lab Experiment:

Make a list of your current goals, objectives and aspirations and sort them into behavioral, emotional, and outcome goals.

Does one category dominate your list?
If most of your goals are behavioral, what sort of outcome or emotional goals will these behaviors lead to?
Are your emotional goals supported by behavioral goals?
Are your outcome goals supported by specific behavioral goals?
Why do these outcomes matter to you; how do they align with your values and long-term vision?
What emotional goals might your outcome goals serve?
Do you have goals that are in conflict with one another? Can these two goals co-exist?
If not, how do your values suggest you ought to proceed?
Do your goals reflect the things you care about most? Do they bring you closer to a life that is aligned with your deepest values?

Mentioned

Weighless Program for sustainable weight management

Overcoming stress and emotional eating

Happiness Trap by Russ Harris

Ep #146: Sense foraging: How to do an end run around the DMN

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Sense foraging: How to do an end run around your DMN Jul 26, 2024

The Default Mode Network, or DMN, is the part of your brain that drives your habitual actions and thoughts. When we feel “stuck” in unwanted behaviors or thought patterns, the DMN is running the show.

You might think that the solution would be to somehow ratchet down DMN activity. Unfortunately, this is almost impossible to do. But it turns out that there’s a surprisingly simple way to do an end run around that pesky DMN, and open up possibilities that have eluded us before.

Key Takeaways

Recognize your DMN at work: Next time you find yourself stuck in a negative thought loop or unwanted behavior, pause and acknowledge that this might be your Default Mode Network (DMN) running on autopilot.
Engage your senses to shift your mindset: When stress or old habits threaten to take over, try the "5-4-3" exercise: Observe 5 things you can see, 4 things you can feel, and 3 things you can hear. This simple practice can help break the DMN's hold.
Embrace novelty in your routine: Look for small ways to introduce variety into your daily life, like taking a different route to work or trying a new type of exercise. Remember, even minor changes can boost your mood and broaden your perspective.
Practice intentional sense foraging: Set aside time each day to deliberately tune into your sensory experiences. This doesn't require anything special - just pay attention to the sights, sounds, and sensations around you in everyday moments.
Understand how stress affects your perception. When you're feeling overwhelmed, remember that stress can dampen your sensory perception. Try to counteract this by consciously tuning into your environment through your senses.

Mentioned

Better in Every Sense: How the New Science of Sensation Can Help You Reclaim Your Life, by Norm Farb and Zindel Segal

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Why even a great plan isn't always enough Jul 17, 2024

There's definitely an art to planning. And we'll get into that in this episode. But here’s the thing everyone forgets to tell you about planning: The real trick is actually not in making the plan. The real trick is in sticking to the plan you’ve made. We'll talk about why that is so darned hard--and how to get better at following through on your plans.

Key Takeaways

Planning provides structure, focus, and accountability. Without a plan, it's too easy for your goals and intentions to get lost in the shuffle of daily life.
Having contingency plans allows you to adapt when obstacles arise, maintaining momentum and flexibility.
Remember to be kind to your future self when making plans. Create plans that include not only productive tasks but also rest, relaxation, and treats.
Even if your plans are not perfect, the act of sticking to them anyway (until you can adjust them) reinforces your identity as someone who keeps their commitments–even to themselves.

Mentioned
- Episode #138: Why goals are not always enough

- Have a nagging question or a problem you’re running up against, or just something you’ve noticed and want to share? Send an email or leave a voicemail and I’ll discuss it (anonymously) in a future episode.

- Learn more about the Weighless Program

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We're told to "Be curious!" Why that's easier said than done. Jul 08, 2024

Being curious about our experiences (both internal and external) really is key to unlocking our progress and potential. But to be honest, it’s a tricky one.

Certain mental reactions often masquerade as genuine curiosity. In this episode, you'll learn to recognize these imposters and pivot instead to the kind of inquiry that actually moves you forward instead of leaving you stuck in the same old repeating patterns.

Key Takeaways

The goal of curiosity is less about explaining what happened and more about exploring what might happen next.
Don't be in a rush to get to "the answer." By slowing down the process we can access information that might not be immediately apparent.
When we need something to be a certain way, it’s hard to see what it actually is.
The partner to curiosity is flexibility, looking for multiple ways to pursue an outcome. (Chances are, you'll need them all eventually).
Not everything will work but, if we can be curious, everything can contribute to your success.

Mentioned

Learn more about the Weighless Program

Have a nagging question or a problem you’re running up against, or just something you’ve noticed and want to share? Send an email or leave a voicemail and I'll discuss it (anonymously) in a future episode

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How we cheat ourselves of the future we dream of Jun 27, 2024

I'm betting you aspire to a future life that is at least a little bit better than it is now—perhaps you'll be a bit healthier, less stressed, more content. You're working towards a future in which you have achieved certain goals or milestones.

What we don't always realize (or fully acknowledge) is that the choices we make today, the actions we do or do not take, are actually creating that future. For better or worse. Let’s make sure that Future You doesn’t look back at today’s choices with regret.

Key Takeaways

Stop waiting for the "perfect time" to start working towards your goals – resolve to begin today.
Remember that obstacles and challenges are part of life's fabric, not temporary disruptions. Learn to progress despite them.
Be aware of how often you prioritize others' needs over your own goals and the impact this may have on your life's trajectory.
Commit to taking action, even if you're unsure of the perfect first step. Action often leads to clarity.
Be willing to tolerate the discomfort of developing new skills or habits, rather than avoiding it and deferring your progress.
It's important not to just visualize your end goal, but also the daily effort required to achieve it.

Mentioned

Change Academy #139: Finding your why
Change Academy #106 Why insight isn’t enough
Change Academy #6: The hidden cost of unmet goals

Join us in the Weighless program

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How being selfish can be an act of service Jun 17, 2024

Over the past 9 or so months, Karen has lost about 25% of her weight. Which is a big deal. But it’s really not the headline of her story. Her story is really about shedding her lifelong identity as the one who could do everything for everyone. Instead, she realized that focusing on her own physical and emotional health was not only the most caring thing she could do for herself but was also the most caring thing she could do for all the people she cared about.

Karen is one of the most inspiring people I’ve ever worked with and I want you to meet her.

Key Takeaways

You may be tempted to focus on the behaviors that you want to change. But developing healthier strategies to manage life's challenges is key to sustainable transformation.
Prioritizing self-care may feel uncomfortable at first. But investing in your own wellbeing enhances your capacity to be there for others. It's not selfish; it's necessary.
Stepping back can create space for others to rise to the occasion. You may be surprised at the growth and resilience this empowers in those around you.
Change is an ongoing journey of growth, not a race to a fixed destination. Allow your vision of a "good life" to continue to evolve as you do.
Be courageous in examining the patterns and beliefs that have kept you stuck. Take a "leap of faith" that the temporary discomfort of change will be worth it.

Mentioned:
Stress and Emotional Eating program
Weighless program

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Roadmap for Success: The practices that lead to real change Jun 05, 2024

Do you know what separates the people who achieve lasting change from those who stay stuck? I’ve worked with hundreds of clients over the years and some clear patterns have definitely emerged.

In this episode, I share the attitudes and behaviors that my most successful clients all embody - insights that can help propel your own progress, whether you're working with a coach privately, or in a group, or going it alone. You'll learn practical strategies for taking ownership, staying motivated, and making real progress towards your goals.

Key Takeaways

Only when we are willing to take responsibility for our actions (or inactions) can we make the changes needed to achieve our goals.
Regular reflection is critical to internalizing what you are learning and maintaining progress.
Rather than passively waiting for solutions, think ahead, ask for what you need, and seek feedback.
Commit to viewing failures as opportunities to learn and refine your strategies, rather than as reasons to give up.
A coach's role is to provide perspective, accountability, collaborative problem-solving, and support. The motivation and the willingness to do the work must come from you.

Mentioned

Weighless Program enrollment information

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Growth Factor: How to ask for (and receive) feedback May 28, 2024

Dr. Bethy Campbell joins Monica to discuss the rewards and potential pitfalls of seeking feedback–in both your professional and personal relationships. Concrete strategies and real-world examples show you how to elicit the most constructive feedback and then how to process and act on it for maximum benefit.

Whether you're looking to improve your communication, enhance your work performance, or strengthen your personal relationships, this conversation is a must-listen for anyone committed to continuous improvement and personal growth.

Key Takeaways

If what you are really seeking is validation or reassurance, ask for that instead of asking for feedback.
Asking first for specific examples of what is going well can make it easier to benefit from any constructive criticism that follows.
Remember that giving feedback (especially to someone you care about) can be just as scary or challenging as being on the receiving end.
When receiving feedback, confirming that you heard what the other person said is more important than disputing details or offering explanations.
When feedback elicits a big emotional response, simply thank the person for their feedback and ask for time to process before responding.

Get in touch

Send us an email (hello@changeacademypodcast.com)

Leave us a voicemail (changeacademypodcast.com/voicemail)

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When motivation is a struggle, it's time to realign your why May 16, 2024

In this episode, we’re exploring an aspect of change that can be really tricky: figuring out why making this change is important to you.

It doesn’t sound like it would be that hard. But often it takes a little digging to get at the true heart of our WHY, our compelling reason.

Whether your goals have to do with your health, finances, career, relationships, or anything else, uncovering your compelling reason is crucial. Because it not only increases your chances of success; it also bolsters your overall mental and emotional health.

Key Takeaways

Knowing what you want to change (or how you’re going to go about it) often isn’t enough to overcome the counter-pressure of the status quo.
A lack of alignment between our goals and our values causes internal conflict that reduces our resilience to everyday stresses.
When we pursue changes or goals that are about other people’s expectations or approval, succeeding may not be as satisfying or rewarding as we think
Wanting to avoid something bad is just as valid a reason as wanting to obtain something good. But it is a different sort of why.

Action Steps

Make a list of your reasons for wanting to accomplish a certain goal or create a specific change.
For each reason, ask yourself: But why do I want that? What would that bring into my life? Then what?
Keep asking that question until your answers feel connected to what you value most.

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How to make sure you've set the right goals May 06, 2024

We are a society of goal-setters. If you’re not setting and achieving goals, you’re not living your best life. Or so we’re told. And goals do have their place. The thing is that goals (alone) are not enough to really move us forward in the ways that matter most. In order to that, they have to be woven into a larger fabric that also includes our core values. In this episode, we talk about how to do that.

Takeaways:

A goal often involves achieving a certain result or crossing a certain finish line. But goals often lose their power to motivate us as soon as we achieve them.
An objective goes beyond “I want to achieve this” more into the territory of “this is who and how I want to be.”
Think about what objective or identity each of your goals contributes to. This ensures that even short-term achievements are connected to long-term objectives.
Listening to podcasts does not create change. You have to actually put these insights and tools to work in your own life.

Mentioned:
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How to do the things that you don’t want to do Apr 26, 2024

Why is it sometimes so darned hard to just do the things that we KNOW will make us healthier, happier and more effective in our jobs and lives?

Behavioral activation offers us a framework for understanding and responding to that familiar situation of not wanting to do the thing that we know will actually move us forward.

Joining me on the show today is Dr. Bethy Campbell, a clinical psychologist, teacher, and coach who regularly stops by the Change Academy to help us make sense of our own brains.

Four Ways We Get Stuck (and How to Get Unstuck)

Overcoping (aka doubling down):: Excessive or overly intense efforts to manage stress or negative emotions.
What to do: Set realistic goals, prioritize, and establish boundaries
Avoidance (aka procrastination): Staying away from situations, activities, or thoughts that are distressing.
What to do: Break the task or behavior into small steps
Withdrawal (aka isolating): Staying away from people and activities that you previously enjoyed; refusing to ask for help or support.
What to do: Actively seek out social interactions and engaging activities
Unintentionality (aka numbing): Lack of awareness or conscious control over behaviors: engaging in mindless activity that may not be that rewarding.
What to do: Set limits on mindless activities, create structured routines

Mentioned

- Change Academy #115: How to transform difficult emotions into powerful insights

- Change Academy #11: The Attention Intention Action cycle

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How behavior change experts work on their own difficult habits Apr 16, 2024

Kurt Nelson and Tim Houlihan are the co-hosts of the Behavioral Grooves podcast and heavy hitters in the behavioral sciences. In this episode, the three of us trade notes on what we've learned from years of podcasting and behavioral coaching and how it impacts our ability to work with our own behavior challenges. (Yup, we still have them!)

Key Takeaways

Curiosity allows for both open-mindedness and critical thinking.
Trusted sources are a valuable short-cut but can't completely replace our own judgement.
Building a bigger toolkit is great but you still need to know which tool to pick up
Life is a series of experiments with an awful lot of uncontrolled variables.
The wonderful/awful thing about asking for feedback is that you might get it
Who do you want on your behavior change team?

Mentioned
Behavioral Grooves podcast

They thought we were ridiculous: The unlikely story of behavioral economics

Brain/Shift Journal

Nutrition GPA app

Change Academy #134: Why behavioral economics shouldn't be the only tool in the toolbox

Change Academy #123: How to build the circle that supports your best work

Change Academy #50: Motivation and Accountability

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Why we can't help comparing ourselves to others Apr 05, 2024

It’s a very natural human tendency to compare ourselves to the people around us–and even to the people we see portrayed in the media. And like so many other behavioral tendencies, this one is a double-edged sword. Looking at what others have achieved can inspire us to greater effort. It can also make us feel like crap. And we don't want that!

Today, we're delving into the psychology behind why we are driven to compare ourselves to others, the impact it can have on our mental well-being, and some strategies to help you avoid the compare-and-despair cycle.

Takeaways

Recognize that comparing ourselves to others can either motivate us or lead to feelings of inadequacy, depending on our mindset and circumstances.
Be aware of specific situations or people that prompt you to engage in unhealthy comparisons and find ways to either avoid these triggers or change your reaction to them.
Shift your perspective from others to your own journey. Measure your success against your past achievements rather than against others' accomplishments.
Implement a regular practice of acknowledging what you're thankful for, which can transform your viewpoint from comparison to appreciation.
Remember that everyone’s path, including yours, is distinct and equally valuable. Embracing this viewpoint can diminish the urge to compare and help you appreciate the uniqueness of your own and others' life experiences.

Mentioned

Stronger Bones Workshop on April 13th

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Why behavioral economics shouldn't be the only tool in the toolbox Mar 25, 2024

Behavioral economics has given us a lot of insights into how we can influence our own and other’s behavior. But the approach has some serious limitations, especially when applied to promoting health behaviors.

Joining me on the podcast is Michelle Segar, a frequent guest here on the Change Academy. Michelle is an NIH-funded researcher at the University of Michigan. She’s also a best-selling author and health coach whose work focuses on fostering behavior change that can survive the complexity and unpredictability of the real world.

Takeaways

Take some time on a regular basis to reflect on how your personal values, beliefs, and motivations align with your desired behavioral changes (and vice versa!)
Acknowledge emotional and psychological issues that may present barriers to change. Consider seeking support from a mental health professional, especially if you face challenges like depression, anxiety, or past trauma.
Take a look at your social and physical environment and think about how these factors impact your behavior. Consider where you might find supportive communities or how altering your environment might encourage positive habits.
Consider getting involved with community initiatives or advocacy groups that are working to address broader societal issues that impact our ability to choose healthier behaviors. For example, groups advocating to make our cities and neighborhoods more walkable or bike-friendly, or organizing mobile farmer’s markets, or upgrading local recreational facilities.

Mentioned

They Thought We Were Ridiculous (5-part series on the history of Behavioral Economics)

Better habits aren’t the answer? (Change Academy Ep #111, with Michelle Segar)

No Sweat: How the Simple Science of Motivation Can Bring You a Lifetime of Fitness, by Michelle Segar

The Joy Choice: How to Finally Achieve Lasting Changes in Eating and Exercise, by Michelle

Certification program for health coaches

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Looking for happiness in all the wrong places, with Oliver Burkeman Mar 15, 2024

What if the pursuit of happiness is NOT the path to greater life satisfaction? What if being more productive and getting more done isn’t actually the way to get ahead?

In today’s episode, I’m talking to author Oliver Burkeman about some of the ways in which we might want to re-examine our relationship to goals, happiness, and the things that are most important to us.

This is sometimes a bit painful. because so much of it has to do with confronting some of the hard limits that we like to pretend don’t exist. But, as you’ll hear, there is ultimately a profound relief and freedom to be found in facing finitude.

Takeaways

Try to find satisfaction in the journey toward your goals, rather than postponing fulfillment until they are achieved.
Cultivating your ability to be present to everyday, even mundane, moments can lead to a deeper appreciation of life as it unfolds.
Understand that every choice has its consequences, and it’s impossible to avoid negative outcomes entirely.
Some of the most meaningful experiences in life are not the result of meticulous planning or pursuit but unexpected and unplanned.
Being present is a skill that can be practiced in everyday situations like waiting in line or working in the office–and not just on the meditation cushion or yoga mat.

Books and courses by Oliver Burkeman

Time Management Video Course (BBC/Maestro)
Use the discount code CHANGES30 to save 30%!

The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can't Stand Positive Thinking

4,000 Weeks: Time Management for Mortals

Also Mentioned

50K Mile Tune-up Listening Guide and Workbook

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How to get back on track instead of sabotaging your progress Mar 05, 2024

Over the years, I have worked with a lot of people on various aspects of behavior change–mostly having to do with health behaviors. I have witnessed and celebrated some amazing breakthroughs and successes.

But I have also seen people stumble and struggle. Regularly. Something happens and they fall back into old habits or patterns that they’d successfully moved away from.

It’s disappointing but it’s not a tragedy. Because this is just part of the change process. What I do find tragic–and unnecessary–is when these lapses cause people to people give up entirely.

Today, we’re going to talk about how to survive these inevitable episodes and get yourself back in the game more quickly.

Key Takeaways

Setbacks are a natural part of the change process and do not negate previous progress.
Refrain from attaching a negative story to a lapse, as it can lead to further setbacks.
Approach setbacks with curiosity and self-compassion; seek to understand the underlying causes.
Rebound from setbacks by learning from them and redirecting energy back towards the goal.
A supportive community can provide reflection, encouragement, and valuable insights

Mentioned in this Episode

Permission giving thoughts (Change Academy episode)

Weighless program

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How to stop complaining and find the path to positive change Feb 26, 2024

Is there something in your life that’s been driving you crazy for a while? Some situation at work that you find yourself venting to your spouse about every night at dinner? Or maybe a recurring conflict with your partner or your kids that never seems to be adequately resolved? Do you find yourself ruminating over a problematic situation every time you have a moment alone in the car?

In this episode, Dr. Bethy Campbell and I are sharing a 4-step process that can help you exit that complaint loop and actually move toward positive change. Bethy is a clinical psychologist, a marriage and family therapist.

The technique that we’re talking about today is taken from her book on Helping Skills, a book that would be a great resource if you are in a situation where you’re frequently called upon to provide guidance and emotional support.

But this absolutely an approach that can (and should) apply to your own knotty situations.

Key Takeaways

Complaining has its place. When done constructively, it can help us acknowledge and process pent-up feelings, and encourage self-awareness and self-compassion.
Repetitive, non-constructive complaining–in addition to wearing out our friends and loved ones patience–increases our stress and hinders problem-solving.
Reorienting the language we use to talk about the problem can help us see more possibilities for resolution or change.
If you don’t have a trusted partner to help you reflect, journaling or recording voice memos can help you spot and reframe unhelpful language.

Mentioned in this episode

Converting good intentions into action (Change Academy episode #129)

Helping Skills Training for Non Professional Counselors (Enter the promo code ADC24 for 30% off)

Dr. Bethy Campbell’s mailing list

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The inner work that makes outward change more possible Feb 15, 2024

In this conversation with a recent “graduate” of the Weighless program, Lauren shares some of the key insights that helped her permanently transform her physical and mental health.

Lauren is a healthcare professional herself, with a front row seat to some of the consequences of unhealthy habits and lifestyles. She had plenty of motivation to change. And yet, she still needed some support to turn that knowledge into consistent behavior change.

As you’ll hear, Lauren was a little surprised at how much of the work of behavior and lifestyle change is actually about some key mental shifts–including one that really struck me as critical.

Key Takeaways:

We often just focus on the outward behaviors we want to change, but the inner work is key.
Your progress depends on what you want for yourself, not how you stack up to others.
Taking care of ourselves well doesn’t necessarily take more time than neglecting our needs.
Taking time to consider our desires and preferences can help us design behavior changes that are more sustainable
Modeling self-care and healthy behaviors for our kids is a gift with long-term benefits.

Mentioned in this Episode:

Weighless Program enrollment info

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Why it’s so hard to convert good intentions into action Feb 05, 2024

There’s clearly no shortage of good intentions in the world, and most of them actually have to do with health. People want to get into shape, they want to eat better, they want to lose weight. Unfortunately, very few of these good intentions get converted into reality.

Believe it or not, there’s a technical term for this: It’s called the intention behavior gap. And in this episode, I want to share with you some research-based strategies for bridging the gap between good intentions and healthy habits.

Key Takeaways
- We waste a lot of time problem-solving issues that aren’t really what’s getting in the way.
- Clarity on goals and strategies is more important than how much time or money we have to spend on something.
- Willpower does not exist in a vacuum. It is supported by a range of other behavioral attributes.
- Even more important than planning is flexibility when things don’t go according to plan.

Mentioned
30 Day Nutrition Upgrade program - https://nutritionovereasy.com/upgrade

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How to know when it’s time to make a big change Jan 25, 2024

Careers are one of the ways that we find meaning and purpose in our lives. Not the only way, of course. But what if you wake up one day and realize that your true purpose might be better fulfilled by doing something other than what you originally trained for. Now what?!

Design thinking offers tools and processes that can help us both imagine and then execute big shifts in our lives.

Lisa Waltuch and her business partner, Jen Sullivan, are co-founders of Encore Retreats, where they host transformational getaways and events. Lisa also has her own practice as a Life Coach through Thrive Coaching, where she uses design thinking to help her clients imagine and then inhabit really big changes. I thought she'd be the perfect person to talk about this with.

Takeaways
-Your true purpose might be better fulfilled by doing something other than what you originally trained for. Instead of asking “What did I train to do?” ask “What impact do I want to have?”

- You are never too old (or too successful) to choose a new path. You can make bold changes at any life stage.

- Don’t let yourself be shackled by what has come before. Ask yourself, “How do I want my life to unfold or evolve from here?

- Some of your values may have shifted throughout your life. Mind-mapping can help you explore your current values, which can help you design a life of great happiness and satisfaction.

Mentioned

8 Things You Need to Create Lasting Change (listening guide)

Encore Retreats

Mind Mapping Exercise

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What if you didn’t have to be more disciplined to succeed? Jan 15, 2024

I was recently exchanging emails with someone who was struggling to change some unhelpful behaviors.

He wrote: “I do really well for a couple of days and then I go totally off the rails again. It’s such a vicious cycle. I just need to be be more disciplined.”

And if there is something that you are struggling to change, you’ve probably thought the same thing. But I don’t think summoning up more discipline is necessarily the answer.

In this episode, I’m talking with someone who found a better way to create positive change and momentum–which led to dramatic improvements in her health.

As you listen, think about how the specifics of her translate into whatever you’re working on and the kind of effort you are applying to that work.

Key Takeaways

Instead of focusing on the behaviors you’re trying to change, take a look at the thoughts and beliefs that are driving these behaviors.
When it comes to lasting behavior change, self-awareness will get you a lot further than will power.
If you are frustrated with your results, ask yourself if you are happy with the effort that you are putting in to create them.
Being able to ask for (and accept) help or support is an under-rated super power
Offering support to others is a great way to access wisdom and insight that can be applied to your own situation.

Mentioned
Find out more about Weighless Program

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Making the most of a reboot (Behind the scenes) Jan 05, 2024

I’ve decided that my special word for 2024 is Reboot.

Much of my last year was consumed by the reboot of the Weighless program–a coaching program that I launched with Brock Armstrong 7 years ago, and which has now been now relaunched in a new format that I think is its best version yet.

The Change Academy is not about weight management, per se. My goal in this podcast is to give you tools that you can apply to create positive change in any aspect of your life. But in this episode, I want to talk more specifically about the Weighless Program and take you behind the scenes of our recent reboot.

If that is not of interest, you might want to check out our introductory series The 8 Things You Need to Create Change, or the more intensive series called the 50,000 Mile Tune up. There are free listening guides available for both of them and either one of them would be a great way to charge up your batteries for your own reboot, or whatever else 2024 has in store for you.

Mentioned

Weighless Program enrollment details

See exactly what’s in the Weighless curriculum

Listen in on a Weighless Office Hours

Listening Guide for 8 Things You Need to Create Change

Listening Guide for the 50K Mile Tuneup

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Special Series: Mindset Reset #5 Dec 30, 2023

This is the last of a special 5-part Mindset Reset–a little bonus series to help us get our mindset tuned up as we head into the New Year, and into whatever new projects and objectives we’re hoping to tackle. This last mindset reset is really the key to any change you are working on: Remembering that we are all works in progress.

Whether or not you're thinking about joining the Weighless Program, I hope you've found this special Mindset Reset series helpful. Our program members often tell us that these mindsets positively affect other aspects of their lives: their relationships, their work/life balance, how they spend their valuable time, the environment they create for themselves, and their overall life satisfaction.

And if you are considering joining us, we delve much MUCH deeper into mindset (and so many other things) in the program. We have a new group starting on January 1st.

Learn more about the Weighless Program

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Special Series: Mindset Reset #4 Dec 29, 2023

We have reached the fourth installment our special 5-day Mindset Reset series and this reset is a juicy one. Many of us have learned the unhelpful habit of moralizing our food choices. Here's a more helpful way to think about the choices we make.

If you’re interested in learning more about the Weighless Program, from which this series is derived, go to https://weighless.life. We have a new group starting on January 1st and if you could use some support with weight management in the New Year I’d love to have you join us!

Learn more about the Weighless Program

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Special Series: Mindset Reset #3 Dec 28, 2023

This is the third installment our special 5-day Mindset Reset and we're talking about balancing our approach to food as a source of both nourishment and pleasure.

As with most of the things we talk about here in the Change Academy (and in the Weighless Program), the real payoff is in the implementation. So, don't just listen. Make sure some rubber is meeting the road.

If you’re interested in learning more about the Weighless Program, from which this series is derived, go to https://weighless.life. We have a new group starting on January 1st and if you could use some support with weight management in the New Year I’d love to have you join us!

Learn more about the Weighless Program

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Special Series: Mindset Reset #2 Dec 27, 2023

This is Part 2 of our special 5-part Mindset Reset series–a little bonus series to help us get our mindset tuned up as we head into the New Year. In this reset, we're talking about how we recover from setbacks.

Because this series was originally developed to accompany the Weighless Program, the examples here focus on typical dieting behaviors and mindsets. But even if that’s not what you’re working on, I bet you can translate these insights into whatever you are working on.

If you’re interested in learning more about the Weighless Program, from which this series is derived, go to https://weighless.life. We have a new group starting on January 1st and if you could use some support with weight management in the New Year I’d love to have you join us!

Learn more about the Weighless Program

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Special Series: Weighless Mindset Reset # 1 Dec 26, 2023

For this last week of the calendar year, we're departing from our usual format to bring you a special 5-day series called the Weighless Mindset Reset.

The New Year is a time when many people resolve to eat healthier. Unfortunately, those resolutions have typically crashed and burned by the second week of January. By taking a little time to tune up our mindset, I think we can greatly improve our chances of converting our New Year resolutions into more lasting behavior change.

This series was originally developed to give people who were interested in the Weighless Program a taste of the kind of work we do in that program. (Mindset of course is only one aspect of that program, but it’s an important one.)

We'll be sharing a new Mindset Reset every day between now and New Year’s Eve. If this series resonates with you and you're ready to take the next step, our next group program begins on January 1st.

Learn more about the Weighless Program

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Is your diet-tracking app helping or hurting? Dec 15, 2023

There are apps and devices that help us what we eat, weigh, spend, save, how much water we drink, how many steps we take. But what is all of this tracking doing for us? Are we using these tools and this information to improve our wellbeing or have we succumbed to the tyranny of tracking?

Joining me on the podcast is registered dietitian and workplace wellness consultant Cassie Christopher. Tracking is a a topic that comes up a lot for each of us in the coaching work that we do and in this episode, we explore what tracking offers, where it often goes wrong, and how we can leverage the benefits without it becoming an unhealthy or unhelpful practice.

I’m also excited to share that the Weighless Program is once again accepting new members! The next group begins on January 1st. All the details are at weighless.life/enroll.

Mentioned
Learn more about the Weighless Program
Learn more about Cassie Christopher’s work

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In order to succeed, you must risk failing (again) Dec 05, 2023

If anyone is telling you they can guarantee that you will succeed (as long as you follow their method or their strategy or whatever), they are not being upfront with you. Here’s the hard truth: If you want to succeed, you have to be willing to risk failing.

In fact, if there is anything that actually does guarantee success, it’s being willing to fail–repeatedly if necessary.

But let’s not make this harder than it needs to be. In this episode, I (and a bunch of former clients) talk about how to make this easier.

Key Takeaways
- It’s easy to see our past failures as evidence that we can’t succeed. But failure is the foundation for virtually every success.
- We never know ahead of time which attempt will be the one that actually works.
- Instead of asking yourself “What if I fail?, ” ask yourself “What if this works?”
- Your willingness to learn and grow is ultimately more powerful than your determination to reach a certain specific goal or outcome.

Mentioned

Attend Weighless Program Info Session (Dec 14th, 2023)

Molly Watts (Alcohol Minimalist podcast)

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How to build the circle that supports your best work Nov 23, 2023

Today, I’m sharing a bit about my circle of support and inviting you to evaluate your own network. Who are you grateful for? Where might your support network need a little building out? Whose support network are you a part of and how do you support them?

Many of us have bigger and more varied support networks than we even realize–or fully take advantage of.

And for those whose networks are a little threadbare, I have some ideas on how to shore those up.

Key Takeaways
- A more effective gratitude practice is to reflect not just on the things that we’re grateful for but the people and circumstances that make them possible.
- There may be people in your support network that you've never actually met. But they've contributed to your growth through their work or example.
- Feeling gratitude is good for you; Expressing gratitude multiplies the good.
- Thinking of ways you can support others is a great way to build your own circle of support.

Acknowledged

Burnout by Emily and Amelia Nagoski
Cultivate Brands
Quick and Dirty Tips network
Cassie Christopher, MS, RDN
Bethy Campbell, PhD
Molly Watts, Alcohol Minimalist podcast
Encore Retreats
Food We Need to Talk with Juna Gjata
Fit is Freedom with Kelly Howard
Tiny Leaps, Big Changes with Gregg Clunis
Ticora Davis, Creator’s Law Firm
Stacey Harris, Uncommonly More
Tara McMullin, What Works
Oliver Burkeman

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Stages of change: what they forget to tell you Nov 14, 2023

If you’ve ever taken an introductory psychology class or done some reading on human behavior and development, you’ve probably stumbled across the Transtheoretical Model, better known as the Stages of Change.

It offers some insights into how behavior change happens, why it sometimes doesn’t (or seems like it doesn’t) and how we can better support behavior change efforts–both our own and those of people around us.

But there are some nuances to this that I think deserve a little more exploration and who better to do that with than clinical psychologist and friend of the podcast, Dr. Bethy Campbell?

We have also created an assessment for you to get a read on where you are in relationship to any change you are working on or contemplating, along with a playlist of Change Academy episodes targeting that particular stage of change.

Key Takeaways
- By aligning our helping strategies with the helpee's readiness, we enhance the effectiveness of our support,
- The stages of change are not linear. It's normal to move back and forth as you progress through your behavior change journey.
- Before a change is ever expressed in someone's actions, there's actually a lot of change that has taken place.
- Change is a complex process and may involve being at several different stages of change simultaneously.

Mentioned

LifeRAFT Model , by Dr. Elizabeth Campbell

Attention Attention Action Cycle (Change Academy episode #11)
Assessment: How ready are you?

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If it feels good, it must be bad for me…and other fairy tales Nov 06, 2023

Hedonic self-care involves activities that we find pleasurable. A massage or a nap or time spent with dear friends.

Eudaimonic self-care includes those things we do not necessarily because they are pleasurable in the moment, but because they support our goals and objectives. Things like getting our teeth cleaned, or doing meal prep ahead of a busy week, or spending time and money on a therapist or hiring a health coach.

You could easily get the impression that eudaimonic self-care is better or more virtuous than hedonic self-care. But this is not the case. And I don’t want you to forsake hedonic self-care as lesser than.

Key Takeaways

Try to maintain a balance between those things you do because they make you feel good in the moment and those things you do because they contribute to your long term well-being. Both are important to a fulfilling life.
Cramming in a lot of peak experiences doesn’t guarantee that you’ll look back on your life and feel it was well-lived.
One way to waste time is to spend it doing things that don’t really matter. But another way to waste time is to spend it living for an imaginary future.
Whether hedonic or eudaimonic, if it comes at the expense of your mental, physical, or financial wellbeing, it doesn’t qualify as true self-care.

Mentioned

Episode 80: Rescuing Self-care from Consumer Culture

4000 Weeks, by Oliver Burkeman

30 Day Nutrition Upgrade

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Festive food season is approaching. What's your plan? (Extracurricular) Oct 30, 2023

Earlier this month, I sat down with Kelly Howard of the Fit is Freedom podcast. You may remember Kelly from a Change Academy episode on how incorporating more fun and adventure can help you be more consistent about your fitness practice.

Kelly invited me back to the Fit is Freedom podcast to share some tips with her listeners on how to enjoy the upcoming the holiday season without throwing all of our healthy habits and progress under the bus. I thought you would be interested in hearing this conversation as well. So, with Kelly’s permission, I’m sharing that episode here with you.

I share a couple of specific strategies that I find useful at this time of year…one is a mindset shift. The other is straight up tactical. We also talk a bit about the 30 Day nutrition upgrade that’s coming up on November 8th—because that program is part of my answer to the question of how to stay on track even with all the disruption and opportunities to indulge that come with the holidays.

If you haven’t yet registered for the 30 Day Nutrition Upgrade, you can do that at changeacademhypodcast.com/upgrade (or just click on the link in the show notes).

Mentioned:

Fit is Freedom podcast

30 Day Nutrition Upgrade (starts November 8th)

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How community and connection build healthier habits Oct 26, 2023

In the previous episode, I talked about some of the things that can go wrong when we put corporations in charge of our wellbeing. In this episode, I share an example of what it looks like when it goes right, and how corporate-sponsored wellbeing programs can actually have a very positive impact on individuals and workers as well as on the company’s bottom line.

Lindsey Soroka is a registered dietitian and works as a health promotion specialist for a major national corporation, where she’s in charge of (among other things) engaging the employees in wellness education, services, and programming.

Lindsey and I first worked together when her company brought me in to offer the 30-Day Nutrition Upgrade program to their employees, Afterward, we sat down to talk about what she’s learned about motivating people and why major corporations want to invest in wellbeing programming.

But there are valuable lessons for all of us in this conversation. In particular, I hope you catch the ways in which our efforts to enhance our own wellbeing can ripple out into our families, workplaces, and communities.

Key Takeaways

Companies are in business to be profitable, but the smart ones recognize that in order to thrive as a company, they need a healthy, stable and well-resourced workforce.
If you are feeling burned out or overwhelmed at work, you may not feel like you have the bandwidth to explore your employers’ wellness resources but this is actually the time they may be most valuable (and your employer really does want you to use them).
When trying to establish new behaviors, a short-term commitment can make it feel more doable. But a good short-term challenge will be designed with the long tail in mind.
Doing something as part of a group really helps to foster a sense of wellbeing and connection. And it helps you stick with it.
Reaching out to someone who’s had a positive impact on you not only means the world to them but can also benefit your own mental and physical health. Be on the lookout for opportunities to do that.

Mentioned

30 Day Nutrition Upgrade (starts November 8th)

Contact Monica to discuss corporate wellness programming

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Are these really the people we want in charge of our well-being? Oct 16, 2023

A lot of employers and health insurers are now offering wellbeing apps and portals. They're obviously hoping that giving people tools to help them manage their health conditions and nudge them toward healthy behaviors will reduce health care costs.

I recently checked out the wellbeing app offered by my own health insurance company. I actually think that some of the well-meaning but poorly-conceived prompts could be doing more harm than good.

To be fair, figuring out how to nudge people to adopt healthier habits is a hard nut to crack. In this episode, I share five ideas on how we can design behavioral interventions that are more effective as well as more inclusive, accessible, and sustainable. I also have an opportunity for you to see these principles in action.

Key Takeaways

People not only need to believe that what you’re asking them to do will benefit them, they also need to feel confident that they can actually do it.
People cannot pay attention to everything. Therefore, you need to help them pay attention to the right things.
Don’t just discourage the negative; promote positive behaviors.
All-or-nothing approaches (or mindsets) rarely lead to long-term change.
We tend to over-estimate the impact of our most extreme behaviors. In fact, it is your most typical behavior that determines your results. Focus on those.

Mentioned

Nutrition GPA app

Register for the 30-Day Nutrition Upgrade

More info for Coaching Partners

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Recalibrating your reward system: treating yourself better Oct 05, 2023

The theme of treats and rewards is coming up in a lot of my conversations right now…with my coaching clients, with people who have reached out to talk about working together, even with my friends and colleagues. Specifically, using food as a treat or reward.

This is something a lot of us have learned to do. And like any highly rewarding behavior, this habit has the potential to do harm…and can be surprisingly hard to break.

In this episode, we’re going to talk about cultivating new sources of reward and pleasure — ones that make our lives richer, and don’t have unintended consequences. I’ll also share three ways that being more intentional about treats can increase the pleasure you get from them–as well as strengthening your willpower.

Key Takeaways:

Treats and rewards add pleasure and enjoyment to life. However, we need to be intentional and thoughtful about them.
Planning your treats offers several advantages, including increased enjoyment through anticipation and improved restraint against unplanned indulgences.
Cultivating awareness and anticipation of treats in your life can counter feelings of deprivation and resentment, making your pursuit of healthier habits more enjoyable
Develop and maintain a list of activities that genuinely reward you. Include both small and big pleasures. Consider also the costs of each treat. Does indulging in this treat bring you closer to or further from your goal?

Mentioned:

Body Image Repair and Resilience

Ep 82: Opening up your options with Dr. Michelle Segar

Get in touch with Monica

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Why a healthy self-image is essential to your future growth Sep 25, 2023

How we see ourselves has an enormous impact on our mental health and wellbeing, how we function in our relationships, even what sort of goals we set for ourselves. Often, we believe that achieving those goals will improve our self-image and make us feel better about ourselves. But usually, it happens the other way around.

Our self-image is often very distorted. Others may barely notice “imperfections” that are all we can see when we look in the mirror. And, by the same token, we can also take steps to heal poor self-image without actually changing anything about the way we look. Often it starts by examining our beliefs about how we SHOULD look.

Joining me today to talk about all of this is Cassie Christopher, whom you know from several past episodes. Cassie is a registered dietitian, workplace wellness expert, speaker, and coach. Repairing body image is a big part of Cassie’s work. She and I are also teaming up to offer a special program this October focusing on on Body Image Repair and Resilience.

Key Takeaways:

We form our self-image by comparing ourselves against cultural ideals, which often reflect groups with more power and/or money.
Even those whose outward appearance conforms to the cultural ideal often suffer from poor self-image.
Even if we don’t have the power to change the system, seeing how it operates gives us more power to decide how we engage with it
Self-worth that is based largely on how we compare to others is never as solid as self-worth that is based on our own intrinsic values.
We are often completely unaware of the degree to which negative self-perception is impacting our quality of life.
Accepting and celebrating the ways in which we diverge from the “ideal” can be an empowering first step.

Mentioned:
Body Image Repair & Resilience program
Being good enough (Change Academy Ep. #28)
Body Image Self Assessment
More about Cassie Christopher’s work

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Three things you need to change in order to succeed (ft. Molly Watts) Sep 14, 2023

If you’ve been listening to the Change Academy for a while, you’ll remember Molly Watts from several previous episodes. But if you’re newer to the Academy, let me quickly tell you who she is.

Molly is the host of the top-rated Alcohol Minimalist podcast and author of the book Breaking the Bottle Legacy. Molly’s work focuses on helping people create a more peaceful and sustainable relationship with alcohol. And the approach that Molly takes is very consonant with our philosophy here on the Change Academy.

Molly has graciously agreed to let us share an excerpt from her podcast in which she shares the three things she had to stop doing in order to finally change her drinking habits. You can substitute just about any unwanted or problematic behavior or habit for “drinking” and Molly’s advice would be just as valuable. She's also generously offered a free digital copy of her book to any Change Academy listeners who would like one. (See below).

As you listen, think about how Molly’s insights about changing her drinking behavior might apply to a behavioral pattern or habit loop that you’ve struggled to change.

Key Takeaways

We often make change harder than it needs to be by setting unrealistic expectations and then beating ourselves up for failing.
Failure is not proof that you cannot succeed…unless you choose to make it that.
Small consistent effort ultimately gets us to our goals sooner than big dramatic gestures that fizzle out.
Self-judgment is toxic to the process of growth and change. Instead we need to approach ourselves and our behavior with curiosity and compassion.
If the behavior we are trying to change is one that we are using as a coping mechanism, we’re going to need to address whatever it is that are using it to cope with.

Mentioned

Download a free copy of Breaking the Bottle Legacy, by Molly Watts

Alcohol Minimalist podcast

Change Academy Ep 11: the Attention Intention Action Cycle

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How to transform difficult emotions into powerful insights Sep 05, 2023

All of us occasionally struggle with negative or overwhelming emotional reactions. But few of us have been taught to handle difficult feelings effectively. In this episode, Dr. Bethy Campbell returns to the Change Academy to share techniques for working with our most challenging emotions–enabling us to handle stressful situations with greater resilience and to access healthier emotional responses.

Dr. Bethy Campbell is a clinical psychologist, a marriage and family therapist, with special expertise and certification in career development counseling. During her academic career, she also pioneered a curriculum on Helping Skills, a process that people who are not trained therapists can safely use to support others (or help themselves) when dealing with psychologically or emotionally challenging situations.

Key Takeaways

Our emotions can be a powerful source of information, but we need to learn how to recognize and interpret the signals they are sending.
Although our feelings are neither good or bad, the way we express those emotions may be healthy or unhealthy.
Our primary emotional responses may be buried under several layers of secondary emotions that need to be explored first.
Simply labeling and rating the intensity of our emotions is often enough to dissipate their intensity.
The goal is not to eliminate emotions but to foster a healthier relationship with them, leading to improved self-understanding and emotional well-being.

Lab Experiment

(adapted from Helping Skills Training for Nonprofessional Counselors)

Consider how primary and secondary emotions and emotional signals apply to your own life.
Can you think of a time when secondary emotions clouded your awareness and expression of your primary emotions? Write down your recollections of that time, highlighting primary and secondary emotions.

What do you believe your emotions were signaling and motivating you to do?
How might talking (or writing?) about these feelings help you access primary emotions and adaptive signals?

Mentioned

Ep. #107: Designing your future: How to make a successful career or life pivot

Helping Skills Training for Nonprofessional Counselors by Elizabeth L. Campbell, PhD

Feelings Wheel

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Feeling uninspired or unmotivated by your goals? This could be the missing element Aug 25, 2023

Late breaking news! Kelly is giving Change Academy listeners an electronic copy of her new book for free! Scroll down for the link to that

I met Kelly Howard a few months ago, when she invited me to be a guest on her podcast.

I loved the concept of her podcast, which is that fitness is not just another chore that we’re supposed to do. It is a gateway to more freedom. Kelly takes that message beyond her podcast and into the real world, where she runs a company that offers hiking, biking, backpacking, and kayaking adventures, as well as fitness coaching programs to help people prepare for those adventures.

In other words, fitness is not the real goal. Fun and freedom are the goals, and fitness makes those possible.

It’s a perfect example of something we talk about all the time here, which is how important it is to have a compelling why, and to align our goals to our larger objectives.

In this conversation, you’ll hear how Kelly applies those principles to the work that she does. But these insights apply just as well to any other goals that you may be working on.

Takeaways:

For most of the things we want to achieve, being consistent is more important than achieving mastery.
The value of creating a detailed plan always has to be balanced with the flexibility that allows us to pivot when plans go awry
We need to be just as intentional about rest and recovery as we are about effort
Specific events can be great things to work toward. But don’t forget to think about–and plan for–what comes next.

Mentioned:
Fit is Freedom podcast Episode #95
Brock’s morning warm up
Fit: Active and Ageless for Life, by Kelly Howard
(Free copy for Change Academy members!)

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How satisfied are you with your life? (Your health may depend on it) Aug 14, 2023

Part of living your best life involves thinking–at least a little–about how you can set yourself up to live a good life in the future.

If you’re of a certain age, you might keep track of things like your cholesterol or your blood pressure. Or, you might keep an eye on your 401K balance, with an eye toward ensuring future well-being.

But there’s another lesser-known metric that can also be predictive of both your current and your future health and longevity. Just like those other markers, it’s a number you should know.

Key Takeaways

Mentioned

Life Satisfaction Assessment

Ep 48: Wisdom to Know the Difference

Happiness Curve, by Jonathan Rauch

50K Mile Tuneup

Buy us a coffee

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How much can we realistically do to improve our lives? Aug 04, 2023

This podcast is based on the premise that –with the right tools, insights, and support, we can create meaningful lasting changes in our habits, improve our health, and take control of our lives. The podcast Tiny Leaps, Big Changes by Gregg Clunis is based on the same premise. But in this episode, Gregg and I explore some uncomfortable questions:

What are the limits of our personal agency?
What are the forces that lead us to believe that creating healthy, safe, and secure lives and environments is primarily up to us?
How do we reconcile our personal work with the need to create better systems and healthier and more equitable societies?

Things to Listen For

09:55 The limits of what we can accomplish as individuals

12:00 A loss of trust and confidence in collective action

14:25 The unintended consequences of "lifestyle medicine" messaging

16:11 The role that politics plays in our personal development

20:10 Who does our self-improvement culture actually serve?

27:06 Solving problems for fun (and profit)

Mentioned

Tiny Leaps, Big Changes podcast

Tiny Leaps, Big Changes book

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Better habits aren’t the solution, according to this behavioral expert Jul 25, 2023

Have we put habit formation on too high a pedestal? Dr. Michelle Segar is an NIH-funded researcher who has spent close to thirty years studying how to create healthy behaviors. that can survive the complexity and unpredictability of the real world. We talk about why healthy behaviors are often particularly resistant to habit formation, and what may work better.

Things to Listen For

02:17 Common misconceptions about habits

06:33 Why complex behaviors defy habit formation

14:40 The unrecognized influence of memory and emotional associations in determining our behavior
20:11 The role of self=control and willpower

22:17 Why building health behaviors around identity and values (rather than habit) is a better strategy.
27:37 The value of questioning assumptions

Mentioned:

The Joy Choice: How to Finally Achieve Lasting Changes in Eating and Exercise, by Michelle Segar, PhD

It’s Time to Unhabit, by Michelle Segar (American Journal of Health Promotion)

The 50,000 Mile Tune-Up

Weighless Program

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How to succeed: What I’ve learned from my most successful clients Jul 14, 2023

I'm convinced that watching Wimbledon actually improves my game. Granted, when you’re as bad as I am, it doesn’t take much. But there is definitely a lot to be learned from people who are good at something that you’re trying to get better at.

Which is why I want to share with you some of what I’ve observed in my most successful clients. These are qualities and attitudes that you can adopt and emulate to enhance your own progress and success, whether you’re working with me or another coach, or on your own, using this podcast and maybe some of the self-study tools that we’ve created for our listeners. Think of this episode as a roadmap for how to succeed.

What to listen for:

02:40 Having skin in the game

08:34 Taking responsibility for progress

11:00 The difference between passive and active learning

15:27 The four things coaching will NOT do for you

16:55 The six things working with a coach CAN offer

19:35 Three questions to assess whether you'd benefit from coaching

Mentioned:

The 8 Things You Need to Create Lasting Change (self-study workbook)

The 50K Mile Tuneup (self-study workbook)

Talk with Monica about private coaching

Interested in having Monica present at your next live or virtual event? Learn more.

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How do we create the conditions that foster positive change? Jul 05, 2023

Change doesn’t happen in a vacuum. Whether you are trying to create positive changes in your personal life or in your workplace or community, you are more likely to succeed if you are working in a supportive environment.

You’ll often hear this referred to (especially in workplace settings) as “creating a culture of wellness.” But our efforts to instill a culture of wellness very often miss the mark. In this episode, we’ll talk about why and how to fix it.

Joining me is Rebecca Johnson, co-founder and Chief Integrator of ViDL Solutions, a woman-owned consulting, training and coaching firm that fosters connection and courage in the workplace.

Things to Listen For

02:56 The difference between culture and climate

05:56 The four concentric circles of culture

08:56 The work we must do before we can change our own or others' behavior

13:05 The importance of both modeling AND rewards in creating culture change

19:00 How to initiate the conversations that lead to culture change

23:57 Building relationships and alliances that lead to positive change

25:14 The type of conversations that secure buy-in from others

Mentioned

Practicing Intentional Conversations

Rebecca Johnson on Linked In

Talk with Monica about Workplace Wellness Programs

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Change is hard. Maintaining the status quo can be even tougher. Jun 26, 2023

Working toward a big goal takes a lot of grit and discipline. You may imagine that everything will be so much easier once you reach your goal. You can finally relax and enjoy your accomplishment. But that transition, from active change to maintenance, can be really tricky. And we’re often completely unprepared for that.

If we’re not careful, we can let what we’ve attained slip through our fingers, simply because we don’t feel as motivated or rewarded by maintaining the status quo as we did by making progress toward it.

In this episode, I have a few suggestions for how we can prepare better for what happens after we’ve achieved our goal.

Things to listen for:

How the fear of backsliding can diminish the excitement of achieving a goal.
Why we need to learn how to sustain new behaviors without relying on external tracking or counting methods.
How electronic “rewards” hijack our brain
How to celebrate progress toward the goal without progress becoming the goal
Why reaching a goal is less important than what achieving that goal enables us to do.
What are the habits and behaviors required to maintain that new state?
Developing the identity that matches our new status quo

Mentioned

Creating your transformation toolkit (Weighless workshop)

Want to support the show? Buy us a coffee!
https://www.buymeacoffee.com/MonicaReinagel

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Designing your Future: How to Make a Successful Career or Life Pivot Jun 15, 2023

This is a must-listen episode for anyone contemplating a career shift, But even if you’re not necessarily looking for a new job right now, this conversation will be highly relevant to anyone trying to live a life of greater purpose and meaning.

Dr. Elizabeth Campbell, better known to her clients and students as “Dr. Bethy,” is a clinical psychologist, a marriage and family therapist, with special expertise and certification in career development counseling. I know you'll appreciate the resonance between the approach we take in this podcast toward working on behavior change and her approach to career counseling.

Things to listen for

How long you’re likely to be happy in your current job, according to research
Finding the courage to leave a dream job, when you realize it’s not your dream.
Where to start with your career explorations
Why your idea of who you are (and what you want) may be out of date
Re-invention vs Re-alignment
How False Expectations of Risk (FEAR) can keep us stuck
How micro-steps can help you gain clarity (and courage)
The peril of expecting your job to make you happy
Thinking beyond work that earns money

Mentioned in this Episode

Episode #51: Habits and Identity

Episode #33: Aligned Actions

50K Tuneup Series: Navigation System

Change Academy Playlist for Career Development

101 Career Myths Debunked: The Ultimate Career Planning Workbook

Follow Dr. Bethy on LinkedIn

Enjoying the show? Buy us a coffee!

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Insight is worthless unless you're willing to do this with it Jun 05, 2023

If you are an insight junkie like me, this episode is intended to be the tough love we both need.

A lot of the coaching I do involves helping people better understand what is (really) driving their behaviors. These things are frequently invisible or unacknowledged–and this can result in our acting in ways that aren’t aligned with what we say we want.

Without insight into why we do the things we do, change can be very difficult. But the point I want to make today is that insight alone isn’t enough.

What to listen for

Using the Attention Intention Action cycle to keep you from getting stuck
Why we confuse consuming content with taking action
The two categories of resistance that you’re likely to feel
How to move through fear and confusion about next steps
Commitments as a way to propel action and accountability
The consequences of inaction
Three questions I want you to (literally) answer
My own answers to those questions (eek!)

Mentioned

Maybe You Should Talk to Someone by Lori Gottlieb

Change Academy Episode #11 Attention, Intention, Action Cycle

Nutrition Diva podcast

Email me your 3 answers

Interested in working with me? Let’s chat

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Pushing past discomfort: How to create behavior change that lasts May 25, 2023

Not only is it fun to share success stories, but there’s always something valuable to learn by hearing how people navigate the process of change. In this episode, one of our clients share some reflections on how has she approached her goals– and some of the surprising benefits that happened along the way.

Two things that I want you listen for:

1. Stephanie wasn’t just looking to create a certain result. She was specifically interested in making a change that would be durable. She didn’t just want to hit a goal, she wanted to create a new way of approaching challenges. (Spoiler alert: she succeeded!)
2. The other thing I want you to hear is the decision Stephanie made to not let discomfort be an an excuse for giving up. As you’re listening, ask yourself what discomfort you might be willing to lean into in order to achieve something meaningful to you.

More things to listen for

Making your choices more intentional
Find more freedom by embracing a spirit of experimentation
The surprising pay off from being less efficient
Transferring accountability from external sources to internal motivation
A process that allows you to sustain habits when the circumstances of your life change
When you’re committed to your objective, obstacles are not reasons to quit, just challenges to incorporate.

Mentioned in this episode

Weighless Program

Nutrition Diva podcast

Nutrition GPA app

30 Day Nutrition Upgrade

Ep 11: Attention Intention Action cycle

Email me your definition of success (and your primary obstacle)

Send me a voicemail

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Why workplace wellness is not the solution for burnout (and what is) May 15, 2023

Everyone is burned out. Employees are burned out. Business owners are burned out. Caregivers are burned out. But the solutions that are being promoted are not necessarily what we need in order to solve the problem of burnout.

Cassie Christopher returns to the Change Academy to talk about workplace burnout and the impact this is having on both employees and employers (and even the self-employed)--and how each has a different role to play in creating a healthier and happier workplace.

What to Listen For

The three ways you are likely to experience burnout
How employee burnout affects productivity and profitability
Why more wellness programming is the last thing burned-out employees want or need
The six requirements of a burnout-proof workplace
Why no-one wants to fill out your employee survey
How understanding the science of burnout makes you a better advocate for your own needs in the workplace
The most effective ways to recover from long-term burnout
What entrepreneurs and the self-employed can do to reduce their own burnout
How working on self-esteem can sometimes undermine our progress
The role of self-compassion in more productive problem-solving
The two beliefs that foster effective behavior change

Resources mentioned

Burnout by Emily and Amelia Nagoski\

Christina Maslach’s Burnout Inventory

The Liberated Mind by Steven C. Hayes

Workplace wellness workshops with Cassie

Connect with Cassie on LinkedIn

Corporate wellness programs with Monica

Connect with Monica on LinkedIn

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Why your attempts to solve the problem keep failing May 05, 2023

If there’s an issue that you can’t seem to get a handle on, a goal that you've had forever, or a problem that just won’t stay solved, this episode is for you. We’re talking about why this happens--and how to get yourself out of this frustrating cycle.

Often, it's because there's a mismatch between the solutions that we are applying and the problem that actually needs to be solved in order for us to create the desired outcome.

In this episode, we cover how to know whether you've got the right solution for the problem, and how to stop spinning your wheels and start gaining traction on whatever it is you're working on.

What to Listen For

A resource for newer Change Academy listeners
Identifying problem/solution mismatches so that you can stop spinning your wheels
Why cutting expenses isn't always the best way to balance your budget
The red flag that signals you're trying to solve the wrong problem
The critical step we need to take before brainstorming solutions
The true solution to stress eating (it's not about eating)
Shifting the focus from problematic behaviors to the conditions driving the behaviors
Identifying the problem that actually needs to be solved in order for you to succeed

Resources Mentioned

Ep. 102: Change comes to the Change Academy
Listening Guide: 8 Things You Need to Create Change
Ep. 27: What, How, and Why Problems
Ep. 11: The Attention, Intention, Action Cycle
Learn more about the Stop Stress Eating program

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Change comes to the Change Academy Apr 20, 2023

We’ve been on Spring Break for the last few weeks but we haven’t spent the time lounging on a beach. We’ve been doing some big thinking about the future of the Change Academy and we have some big news to share:

We are redefining our respective roles at the Change Academy. Having co-created and co-hosted the show for the past 3 years, Brock is now stepping away from the mic but not going far…just a few steps away, into the production booth.

In Brock's final episode as co-host, we share more about the process of deciding to make a big change and why deciding to end a project doesn't mean it wasn't successful. We also share more about what isn't changing and what you can expect in future episodes of the Change Academy.

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Spring Rituals (Extracurricular) Mar 20, 2023

Brock and I (Monica) are taking our traditional Spring Break from the podcast and using that time to take a fresh look at our goals, objectives and commitments and do some tidying of our own. And we’d like to invite you to do the same–and we’ve even created a special resource to help you do just that.

--
Visit ChangeAcademyPodcast.com/tuneup to join us for a system-by-system inspection and tuneup (or complete overhaul, if necessary) of your health, habits, outlook, and ambitions.

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Why it’s OK if you don’t reach your goal Mar 09, 2023

We’ve talked a lot about goals in this podcast: the purpose and function of goals, how to set good ones, and how to pursue them more effectively, even your goal-setting personality! But in this episode, we want to talk about NOT reaching our goals–and why that is not necessarily a problem.

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Separate the Thought from the Thinker Feb 27, 2023

Do you get stuck in your thoughts, even when (or maybe, especially when) they aren’t helpful? We all do. There is even a name for it - Cognitive Fusion. Well, in this episode, we are going to learn how to defuse ourselves from those thoughts that threaten to undo our hard work, make us feel unworthy or sad, and hold us back from reaching our goals.

Interested in having Monica present at your next live or virtual event? Learn more.

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Countering Your Addition Bias Feb 17, 2023

Some new research caught recently our attention because it reinforces and expands on a concept that we introduced about 6 months ago in our episode on the Law of Subtraction. When we recorded that, we weren’t aware that our so-called “law of subtraction” had been studied by University of Virginia professor Leidy Klotz. In this episode, we explore some of that research and how we can use this insight to create better solutions to our challenges.

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Mind the (Motivation) Gap Feb 08, 2023

Motivation gaps are those times where you feel as if you are not motivated enough to do what it takes to get a particular result. In this episode, we talk about four things that frequently cause motivation gaps, plus what researcher, Julie Dirksen, refers to as a "special motivation gap."

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Not Wanting It Enough Jan 26, 2023

In our last episode, we were talking about feelings of unworthiness and how that can affect our ability or willingness to work on ourselves and our lives to make them better. This episode sort of picks up where that one left off.!

Monica and our guest Cassie Christopher are discussing something that we often hear people say when they are disappointed with their results or their progress: “I guess I just didn’t want it enough.”

Given the time of year that this episode is coming out, we’re betting that right about now, a lot of people may be thinking similar things that in regard to their abandoned New Year’s Resolutions.

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Are You Worth This Effort? Jan 16, 2023

In our recent episode "Will I succeed?" we offered some questions to evaluate your chances of succeeding at whatever goal you are working toward. One of them was: Do I believe I am worth the effort – and worthy of the outcome? What if your answer to that question is No? What can you do to change that to a Yes?

In this episode, we explore some possible answers to this question.

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Goals vs. Commitments: Why you need both Jan 06, 2023

Do you know the difference between goals and commitments? Both play an important role in creating a life that is both meaningful and purposeful. In this episode, we explore the distinctions between them, and how they can work together to guide your efforts.

Interested in having Monica present at your next live or virtual event? Learn more.

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Join us LIVE on January 3rd! Dec 30, 2022

This free workshop will be on Tuesday, January 3rd, at 6 pm Eastern (3 pm Pacific) and you can sign up at weighless.life/action

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Will I Succeed? Dec 27, 2022

Creating change can be difficult. It can also be great…but it is rarely easy. So it makes sense that we want some assurance that we have a reasonable chance of success before we’re willing to invest our resources–and get our hopes up.

But when we ask, “Will I succeed?” we often look in the wrong places for the answer.

In this episode, we talk about ways to evaluate your chances of success. More importantly, we want to offer some ideas for maximizing your chances of success.

Interested in having Monica present at your next live or virtual event? Learn more.

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What if this actually worked? (Encore) Dec 20, 2022

In this encore episode, we revisit an interview with one of the excellent individuals that we coach in our Weighless.life program. Marieka has, at the time of this recording, lost 15% of her body weight. And she has done it through the types of lifestyle overhauls, habit changes, mindset shifts and all the fun stuff we talk about in this podcast, each and every episode.

Find out more about Weighless (and enroll) at Weighless.life/enroll

The reason we asked Marieka on this episode is that we think it’s really valuable for you, someone who is in the process of making big changes (in any area of your life) to have concrete evidence that change really is possible (even when it’s a change you’ve been trying to make for a long time!) Monica and I can give you advice like crazy and assure you that “this stuff works” but it means a lot more coming from someone who has experienced it from the other side.

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The Surprisingly Simple Reason You Stay Stuck Dec 15, 2022

Have you ever wondered why you seem to be stuck at a particular weight, or a particular level of fitness, or a particular amount of money in the bank?

If you’re like a lot of the people we work with, you’ve spent a fair amount of mental energy (and other resources) trying to make a change. And yet, you find yourself seemingly stuck…unable to move out of your current reality into that vision of your future.

The reason is both more surprising and simpler than you might think.

In this episode, we will dig into what actually shapes our current reality (hint: it’s not your goals) and what we need to focus on in order to start making progress toward our future self.

Interested in having Monica present at your next live or virtual event? Learn more.

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Why We Sabotage Our Own Success Dec 05, 2022

Change can be scary. And sometimes, fears about what transformation might cost us can lead us to sabotage our own success. We may have mixed feelings about leaving certain parts of our selves (or our lives) behind–even if they are things that we don’t particularly like.

These worries and fears are totally normal. But left unexamined or unchecked, they can keep us stuck.

In this episode, we’re going to get all of that out in the open, so we can engage with it more intentionally…and more productively.

Interested in having Monica present at your next live or virtual event? Learn more.

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Acquiring a New Skill Will Require *This* Nov 25, 2022

For some endeavors, all you need to succeed is knowledge and a good reason to follow through. As long as you have a good set of instructions, you should be able to succeed on your first try.

Acquiring a skill, however, requires knowledge plus practice.

If you expect to succeed at a skill without allowing yourself time to practice, you're likely to be frustrated. (And we don't want that!)

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Lashing Yourself to the Mast Nov 14, 2022

If you have ever come up with a scheme to keep yourself from succumbing to temptation, you have experimented with a thing called a commitment device. As you’ll see, you are not the first to try this.

In this episode, we’re talking about different types of commitment devices and whether they might be useful in staying on track with whatever you are trying to accomplish in your life–whether that’s breaking a bad habit, establishing a new behavior, or meeting a challenge that you’ve set for yourself.

Interested in having Monica present at your next live or virtual event? Learn more.

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Be Careful What You Optimize For Nov 04, 2022

As a society, we place a very high value on optimization. Now that it’s so easy to track your nutrition, sleep, exercise, productivity, your stock gains or weather, you naturally want to optimize them. What we don't always acknowledge is that optimizing for one thing is likely to cost you gains in at least one other domain.

In this episode, we talk about why it’s so important to be clear on exactly what value you are optimizing for–-and what you are willing to sacrifice in order to do that. It is a tricky balance to find but well worth the effort.

Interested in having Monica present at your next live or virtual event? Learn more.

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Why We Crave What We Crave Oct 24, 2022

Our evaluation of a certain experience can be heavily influenced by things that actually have nothing to do with it. For example, if we happen to be very thirsty when we sample a new beverage, we may later remember it as being far better than it actually was.

It’s called attribution bias. And if left unexamined, it can lead us to make choices or decisions that are not based on our actual goals and values.

As with so many other things, correcting for attribution bias starts with becoming aware of its existence.

Takeaways

Our response to an idea or judgment of an experience may have as much to do with the context in which we encounter it than the thing itself.
Attribution bias may lead us to decisions or choices that don’t actually represent our true desires or values.
Considering how the same experience would feel in a different context is a way of checking or correcting for attribution bias.
It’s impossible to completely rid ourselves of attribution bias–but being aware that it exists can mitigate its power and allow us to make more accurate judgements and better decisions.

Interested in having Monica present at your next live or virtual event? Learn more.

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Stress vs. Stressor Oct 14, 2022

In this episode, we talk about the importance of distinguishing between stress and stressors. Because this can be the first step toward reducing their negative effects, both on our bodies and on our lives.

According to a recent survey by the American Psychological Association, 84% of adults reported feeling stressed out. Two-thirds say that they feel overwhelmed by the issues they face.

This is no way to live, much less thrive.

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What to Focus on Next Oct 05, 2022

Focusing on a lot of projects at once is a good way to make sure none of them get done. In this episode, we dig into why focusing our efforts on one change at a time can create more change in our lives in the long run. This applies to projects we want to accomplish/finish, not just the habits we want to create.

Most of us have a long list of things about our lives (or ourselves) that we would like to change. The problem is that when we try to change too many things at once, we end up changing nothing. That is why knowing what to focus on, and when, is essential.

Interested in having Monica present at your next live or virtual event? Learn more.

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How to turn Stumbling Blocks into Stepping Stones Sep 26, 2022

In this episode, we'll show you how to turn stumbling blocks into stepping stones on the road to success.

We may stumble when we’re trying something new and don’t yet know where the tricky parts are. (Fair enough!) And then there are those things that we seem to stumble over and over again. You’d think we’d learn how to avoid them! But one of the reasons that we don’t is that we focus on the wrong part of the story.

Every path to success includes its share of stumbling blocks.

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It's not me, it's my ADHD (with Dr. Monica Johnson) Sep 15, 2022

In this episode, psychologist Dr. Monica Johnson talks with Monica about the ways in which people with ADHD often struggle with various aspects of behavior change–whether that’s staying focused on the goal, following through on plans, or resisting impulses that lead them astray.

Monica Johnson, Psy.D., is a clinical psychologist and owner of Kind Mind Psychology, a private practice in NYC. She is also a busy speaker, author, and mentor–as well as the host of the Savvy Psychology podcast. Visit her at kindmindpsych.com

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Law of Subtraction: Why you should do less to reach your goals Sep 05, 2022

When we become aware of a gap between our present reality and our desired reality, our inclination is to add something. A new practice. A new program. A new effort. When that doesn’t work, we go back to the drawing board and add another thing.

What if the answer were not to add something new but to subtract something that is not working, or not pulling its weight?

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Opening up Your Options with Dr. Michelle Segar Aug 26, 2022

In this episode, Monica talks with Dr. Segar about the research she’s laid out in her newest book, The Joy Choice, as well as her 3-step process for staying on track even when life goes off the rails.

Dr. Michelle Segar is an NIH-funded researcher at the University of Michigan. She’s also a best-selling author and health coach. She’s spent close to thirty years studying how to create sustainable changes and healthy behaviors that can survive the complexity and unpredictability of the real world.

Topics covered in this interview include:

Why it is hard to follow through on our best intentions
How research on ADHD has influenced behaviour change
The concept of Goal Shielding
How all or nothing thinking has sabotaged our behaviour change
How working memory affects our behaviours and how we can leverage it
Michelle's "POP" 3-step process and why play is an important aspect of it
Why we need to be taught that "something is better than nothing"
Visit MichelleSegar.com

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How Expectations Impact Results Aug 16, 2022

Our expectations powerfully impact what happens to us. If we believe something is going to help, hurt, suck, or be fun - our experience will probably fulfill that belief. But it's not only that we behave in ways that fulfill our expectations or that we interpret what happens through that lens. Although both of these things are true. Our expectations actually determine our physiological responses to inputs like diet and exercise and stress.

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Rescuing $elf-Care from Consumer Culture Aug 05, 2022

We’re told that self-care is essential to our well-being; it’s practically a duty! But it’s easy to confuse self-care with self-indulgence–and while indulgences can be fun, they don’t necessarily improve our well-being.

In this episode, we explore the difference between self-care and self-indulgence, so that you can make sure that the time, energy, and money you spend on self-care is actually moving you toward your goals.

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Permission Giving Thoughts Jul 25, 2022

For example, you’ve decided you want to start exercising after work, or you’ve resolved to not drink wine on the weekdays or to cut out the pastry that you always order with your afternoon coffee. You have lots of good reasons for doing this. You’re convinced it’s in your best interests.

But when the moment to follow through on that plan comes, you have a thought that somehow justifies NOT following through. It’s been a long day. Or, you deserve a treat. Or, it’s too late to get in a full workout so why bother.

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Quitting for the Right Reasons Jul 14, 2022

Quitting can start to become a habit--or even part of our identity. But so can Not Quitting. Which habit and identity would you rather strengthen?

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The Upside of Frustration Jul 04, 2022

Takeaways:

Frustration is not necessarily a sign that things aren’t going well.
By working through frustration, you have created more durable learning.
Reframing the feeling of frustration as a positive sign can make it less frustrating and more fruitful.
Frustration is actually an opportunity to refine your thinking or beliefs, to set up more robust systems or revise your tactics - and to really learn.

Mentioned:

Is Frustrated Learning Key To Building Creative Problem Solving Skills?

Lab Experiment

The next time you feel frustrated, stop and ask yourself what your frustration telling you. What data is it conveying? How can you use either that information–or the feeling of frustration (which is a desire for change)–to fuel positive growth?

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Regimen vs. System Jun 24, 2022

When people are trying to achieve a certain goal or outcome, they often look for a regimen to follow. After all, that's how we've been trained to approach these things. And while a set of rules or instructions may help you create a specific result, it rarely leads to long-term change. For that, we believe you need more than a regimen. You need a system.

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Heads up: Your future is happening NOW Jun 15, 2022

A lot of us have a vision of ourselves in 10 or 20 years. But what we don't realize is that future is (or isn't) being created RIGHT NOW. Every day. We think we're going to get started on our healthy habits or whatever actions are going to help us reach our goals–"soon." The problem is that "soon" never comes–unless soon becomes NOW.

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The Satisfaction of Solving a Long-Standing Problem Jun 06, 2022

The reason we asked Marieka on this episode is that we think it’s really valuable for you, someone who is in the process of making big changes (in any area of your life) to have concrete evidence that change really is possible (even when it’s a change you’ve been trying to make for a long time!) Monica and I can give you advice like crazy and assure you that “this stuff works” but it means a lot more coming from someone who has experienced it from the other side.

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How to Get the Most out of Coaching May 27, 2022

Questions to Ask Yourself

How invested are you in success/solutions (as opposed to excuses/rationalizations)? Do you really want to create this outcome or do you just want to say you “tried”?
What have you already tried and why didn’t it work—or why did it work only partially or temporarily?
Did you experience some taste success but feel like you need help to get over that last hurdle--or move up to the next level?
Are you feeling overwhelmed or stymied by the number of choices and glut of information available to you? This can manifest itself as short attempts at many different approaches - none of which are given a chance to have an impact.

Interested in having Monica present at your next live or virtual event? Learn more.

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Consuming Content vs. Creating Change May 17, 2022

You’re listening to the Change Academy podcast, so we assume that you have some sort of aspirations or goals. Things about your health or your habits or your lifestyle that you’d like to change. A vision for a future that’s a little different–and a little better–than the reality of today.

But if you’ve been listening for a while, and not much has changed, you may be suffering from consumption. And we don’t mean the old-fashioned disease that all the heroines of 19th-century opera die of.

Our challenge for each and every listener of this podcast is to send us an email this week. Tell us three things:

1) what you most want to create in your life that is not yet a reality.

2) how long you’ve wanted this

3) What action you are taking this week to move toward it

We will respond to every email we get.

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Bonus: 5 Life Lessons I Learned from Basketball w/ Molly Watts Apr 18, 2022

You may remember meeting Molly in episode #49 of the Change Academy, where we talked about changing the unchangeable.

Molly first shared these basketball life lessons with her newsletter subscribers a little while back and we immediately wrote to ask her if she’d be willing to record them for you–because we think you will appreciate them as much we did.

If you enjoy this little tidbit of Molly’s work, be sure to check out her Alcohol Minimalist podcast wherever you listen–or visit her website mollywatts.com

Interested in having Monica present at your next live or virtual event? Learn more.

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50K Tuneup: Filters and Shock Absorbers Mar 28, 2022

Takeaways:

You can’t say yes to everything–and if you don’t choose what you are saying yes (and no) to, someone (or something) else probably will.
Setting (and maintaining) boundaries with friends family, and co-workers isn’t selfish. It’s the key to healthy relationships (and your own sanity).
Remember that things DON’T go according to plan more often than they DO. Make the best plan you can but then be prepared to be flexible and creative.
Over-correcting when you veer off course wastes a lot of energy–and often makes future corrections necessary.
Don’t go it alone. Find (or build) your support network–and don’t forget to tell them how they can support you.

Interested in having Monica present at your next live or virtual event? Learn more.

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50K Tuneup: Timing Belt Mar 18, 2022

As much as we like to pretend otherwise, time is finite. Maybe not in a quantum physics sense but in a practical sense: We have only 24 hours to spend every day, and we also have an unknown but finite number of days left in our lives.

Having a realistic view of what you are saying yes and no to can keep your life running smoothly, allow you to make time on important self-care, and do justice to the things that are most important to you.

Find the full show notes and lab experiment at changeacademypodcast.com/timing

Takeaways:

We have a tendency to be delusional about time, leading us to try to cram too much into every day.
At the same time, we may put off things that are important to us in the false sense that there will always be more time “later.”
Being “busy” is not a virtue. Managing our commitments so that we have time for what’s important (including rest and self-care) is.
When we view our time as the finite commodity that it actually is, we can get the most satisfaction out of our days and out of our lives.

Interested in having Monica present at your next live or virtual event? Learn more.

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50K Tuneup: Alignment Mar 09, 2022

If our daily choices and actions are badly out of alignment with our goals, we are literally working against ourselves. We’re likely to be frustrated by a lack of progress. We may also be putting extra unnecessary stress on other parts of our lives.

Takeaways:

In order to reach our destination (or realize our goals) our actions need to be in alignment with those goals and values.
Auditing how we spend our time can reveal mismatches between what’s important to us and how we’re actually spending our time.
Whether we choose to adjust our priorities or our actions, bringing them into alignment will make us happier and more successful.
We don’t need to be in “perfect” alignment to have highly functional and satisfying lives.

Interested in having Monica present at your next live or virtual event? Learn more.

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50K Tuneup: Brakes Feb 27, 2022

We probably don’t need to remind you that skimping on sleep can contribute to an increased appetite, increased levels of stress (cortisol), a decrease in energy to do the things you enjoy, and so on. We’re also not going to spend time reviewing basic sleep hygiene or supplements (most with mixed evidence) that you can find in abundance when you search for “better sleep” online.

Instead, we’re going to focus on our sleep mindset, and how that can be key to optimizing our sleep habits.

Takeaways:

Good sleep is very important for your health and well-being, but “good sleep” can look different for different people, and even for the same people at different times in life.
Even if you are forced to follow a schedule that is not ideal for you, keeping a consistent sleep/wake schedule leads to better sleep and less sleep anxiety. Which leads to more energy and better decision making during the day.
Although many factors can get in the way of sleep, feeling stressed and anxious about not sleeping may be the most insidious–which is why CBT has become one of the most effective therapies for insomnia
Good sleep hygiene is important but when it isn’t enough to resolve sleep issues, a sleep medicine specialist can help.

Lab Experiment:

If you feel your sleep routine needs a tune-up, a sleep diary can help increase your awareness of your sleep patterns, understand how they affect you, and identify things that may be undermining your sleep.

Step 1: Keep a sleep diary

Step 2: Once you’ve gathered some data, consider the following questions :

Do I feel well-rested when I wake up?
Do I feel drowsy during the day?
Am I spending significant time lying in bed without being able to fall asleep?
Is my sleep schedule consistent or does it fluctuate?
Am I taking naps that are too long or too late in the day that could be affecting my nighttime sleep?
Is my sleep disrupted in the night? If so, is there any pattern in the diary that might explain why?
Is my use of alcohol, caffeine, and/or medications affecting my sleep time or sleep quality?
Am I making enough time for sleep?

Step 3: If you end up consulting with a sleep medicine specialist, be sure to share your log with them It may provide some useful clues.

Interested in having Monica present at your next live or virtual event? Learn more.

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50K Tuneup: Transmission Feb 17, 2022

Key Takeaways:

The stress response is not a bad thing; it’s what allows us to respond to challenges, both “good” and “bad.”
Invoking the parasympathetic nervous system can help keep our body and brain in balance–and make us more resilient to stress.
This works best if we do it proactively and regularly, instead of waiting until we’re in crisis.
There are many different ways to activate the parasympathetic nervous system so keep looking until you find one that works for you.

Lab Experiment:

Step 1: Play the field. Take some time to research and try out a bunch of different things. (See the worksheet for ideas.)

Step 2: Pick your favorite(s) and schedule time at least once a day to make this a regular practice.

Step 3: Notice how you feel and function when you make time to shift into neutral.

Interested in having Monica present at your next live or virtual event? Learn more.

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50K Tuneup: Fuel System Feb 07, 2022

Welcome to part four of the 50,000 Mile Tuneup Series. In previous episodes, we checked into our beliefs and expectations about aging, updated our goals, and clarified our values and priorities. We then turned our attention to exercise and movement.

Take aways:
- As we age, we need fewer calories and more protein.
- Cutting back on starches and liquid calories can help lower caloric intake.
- Splitting your protein intake up into 30g doses, spread over the day, can maximize the benefits.
- Don’t forget to include a great variety of fresh, whole foods in your diet on a regular basis.

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50K Tuneup: Engine Jan 28, 2022

How does the way we move and maintain our bodies change as we go through life? How can we set ourselves up to keep our engines running smoothly and powerfully, even as our mileage gets higher?

Takeaways:
- The body hates being overworked just as much as it hates being still. So work smarter not harder
- Movement is more than just exercise. Don’t just commit to working out. Challenge yourself to live a more active lifestyle.
- Respect your limitations (by modifying appropriately) but don’t use them as an excuse to opt out of being active.
- Recovery is more than collapsing on the couch in the evening. Active recovery includes gentle movement, stretching, good nutrition, and quality sleep.

Interested in having Monica present at your next live or virtual event? Learn more.

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50K Tuneup: Navigation System Jan 17, 2022

This information will serve a sort of GPS, helping us make choices and design habits that steer us toward our desired destination.

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50K Tuneup: Updating your Software Jan 07, 2022

Healthy habits like eating well, getting some exercise, and managing stress go a long way toward keeping your body and life running smoothly But every once in a while, our lives can benefit from a more thorough going-over.

In that spirit, we’re going to begin 2022 with a sort of 50,000 Mile Tuneup for your life. Whether or not you currently have any warning lights flashing, we invite you to join us for a system-by-system inspection and overhaul of your health, habits, outlook, and ambitions.

Lab Experiment:

Let's take a closer look at our expectations and beliefs about aging. Where did they come from? Are they true? What evidence do we have to support them? What else is possible? What evidence can we find or generate to support those other outcomes?

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Announcing the 50,000 Mile Tune-up (Extracurricular) Jan 01, 2022

We’d l ike to invite you to join us for something we’re calling the 50,000 Mile Tuneup: a system-by-system inspection and tuneup (or complete overhaul, if necessary) of your health, habits, outlook, and ambitions.

Each episode in the series (starting with the very next episode) will be a deep dive into a different aspect of our lives (nutrition, fitness, sleep, stress, time management, and so on) and will include lots of additional resources, tools, and (of course) lab experiments for you to explore.

So stay subscribed to get your 50,000 Mile Tune-up.

Interested in having Monica present at your next live or virtual event? Learn more.

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What's Your Goal-Setting Style? Dec 27, 2021

Takeaways:

Working toward any type of goal is likely going to benefit you – but being strategic can lower your effort and raise your success rate.
Understanding your goal-setting personality can help you be more successful in setting and reaching your goals.
Every goal-setting style has both strengths and weaknesses. Leveraging your superpowers and being aware of your blind spots can give you a real leg up.

Lab Experiment:
Identify your goal setting personality with this little quiz https://changeacademypodcast.com/personality

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Accountability is BS with Heather Parady Dec 15, 2021

Our guest, Heather Parady, a mental health therapist turned online entrepreneur and podcaster who hosts no fewer than three podcasts!

Her Happy Brain podcast is where we originally came across her work, and in that podcast Heather explores a lot of topics that would be of interest to Change Academy listeners–which is why we invited her to join us on the podcast.

Highlights of Brock's conversation with Heather include why accountability is BS and how to get clarity on what you should be working on.

Interested in having Monica present at your next live or virtual event? Learn more.

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How Fast Can You Change? Dec 02, 2021

Some changes happen quickly; but most significant change takes time. And it’s important that your time frame for success be appropriate to the size of your goal. Otherwise, you may not be able to see--or appreciate--the progress you are making.

Takeaways:

As adults, our brains (and bodies) aren’t quite as plastic as they are when we are very young. As a result, learning a new skill may take a bit longer than you expect.
Even once you have a acquired a certain facility with them, new thoughts and behaviors still need time to become the new normal–especially if they are replacing very well-worn thoughts or behaviors.
Changes that we aren’t happy with (such as weight gain or loss of fitness) often happen so gradually that we don’t notice them until they are fairly large. Reversing them takes time too–especially in a way that’s sustainable.
Sometimes the best choice is to delay setting expectations about when you’ll arrive until the journey is well underway.

Lab Experiment (download a copy)

If you feel frustrated by a lack of progress, assess whether your timeline for success might be unrealistic or out of scale with the size of the goal. Specifically:

Are you expecting to master a complex skill or achieve a big goal more quickly than is realistic?
Are you expecting to reverse in a few weeks realities that took years to create?
Are you expecting to root out and replace long-standing behavioral or thought patterns with just a few repetitions of new patterns?

After thinking this through, you might decide to adjust your tactics in order to accelerate your progress. Or you might decide to adjust your timeline for success to match the scale of the project. (Or maybe both.)

Interested in having Monica present at your next live or virtual event? Learn more.

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How Will You Tell the Story? Nov 22, 2021

All of us will experience our share of challenges, disappointments, and hardships as we go through our lives. We may go through things that are quite traumatic. Our ability to recover and transcend these things depends a lot on how we tell the story of our lives. In this episode, we’re exploring the power of narrative psychology and how we can each use it to cultivate more resilience.

Takeaways

Life involves ups and downs, challenges and successes. The goal isn’t to eliminate those and live a flat life.
Being able to tell your story in different ways is not about lying or obfuscating the truth. It is just framing the same information with a different lens.
The way we talk about ourselves and the events in our lives has a big effect on how we react, recover and overcome life’s challenges. It also has a direct impact on whether we will or won’t reach our goals.
It may make your life seem more exciting, more virtuous, more meaningful, or more dramatic to frame it as such, but your life is not a novel – and you are likely the only one reading it.

Lab Experiment

Identify an area of your life where you feel some frustration or disappointment in your progress or prospects.
Write the story of how you got here. What are the challenges, the circumstances, the things that got in your way. What has gone wrong? Really lean into the ways in which you got a bum deal and are forced to deal with it.
Now, rewrite your story, without changing any of the factual details, but see if you can find a way to cast yourself as the hero: Resilient, resourceful, doing the best you can with the hand you’ve been dealt and managing to do pretty actually well, actually. Look for the triumphs.
Read both stories. Is one more true than the other? Is there anything to be gained by sticking with version A?

Interested in having Monica present at your next live or virtual event? Learn more.

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Getting Your Second Wind Nov 12, 2021

In this episode, Monica Reinagel turns the tables and interviews her usual co-host, Brock Armstrong, all about his new podcast called Second Wind Fitness.

Monica and Brock chat about

the impetus behind some big life changes that he made in the last year
how middle-aged and older people are often misunderstood (and under-served) by the fitness industry
why Brock is no longer willing to help people get fit for the wrong reasons

We’ve even got an excerpt from the Second Wind Fitness podcast for you.

If you’re interested in learning how to move more of your body, more often, and in more interesting and satisfying ways, we hope you’ll subscribe to the Second Wind Fitness podcast where ever you listen to audio.

Click here to take our listener survey.

Interested in having Monica present at your next live or virtual event? Learn more.

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The Power of Giving Up Nov 03, 2021

There’s an important distinction to be made between top level goals and lower level tactical goals. Often, getting fixated on achieving your tactical goals can lead to being tenaciousness for the sake of being tenacious.

We certainly don’t mean to suggest that tenaciousness is not a valuable trait. Being committed to doing what it takes or sticking it out when the going gets rough is definitely a characteristic of people who reach their goals. But sometimes, being tenacious requires us to be flexible. And sometimes giving up is the best thing you can do.

Takeaways:

Tenacity is a valuable trait when it is applied to the correct tactic.
You can stay steadfast in your desire to reach a higher level goal but remain flexible in your path to get there.
It can be painful to give up, especially if you have been working in a particular tactic for a while but it can still be your best path forward.
As tricky as this concept can seem, if you are honest with yourself and spend some time evaluating your situation, you can save yourself a lot of time and effort.

Lab Experiment:
Is there a project that you feel you’ve been spinning your wheels on? Take some time to consider whether giving up might be the best way to move forward.

Write down the goal of this project. What are you trying to accomplish?
Why is achieving this goal important to you (beyond just the fact that you committed to achieving it)?
Is there a higher level goal beyond this one–a top level goal that this immediate goal is in service of?
How else might you pursue that top level goal? What other tactical goals could get you there?
Consider whether abandoning your current goal might be the best move. Why or why not?

Even if this exercise doesn’t lead you to a final decision, it will almost certainly help you see the current situation from a new angle–which is always useful.

Interested in having Monica present at your next live or virtual event? Learn more.

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Rhythms vs Schedules Oct 25, 2021

We often talk about the importance of planning ahead–and sticking to the plan. But we also advocate for mindfulness: being attuned to your experience in the present moment. But what if being in the moment means you don’t feel like sticking to the plan? Which should you honor?

In this episode, we explore the pros and cons of sticking to the schedule vs. going with the flow. It all comes down to finding a healthy balance between structure and flexibility.

Takeaways:

- Honoring your needs and wants in the moment can be a powerful tool in your journey to create change – so don’t forget to pay attention to them.
- Making and sticking to a plan can keep you from getting derailed by in-the-moment impulses that aren’t aligned with your goals.
- Modifying your plans (rather than abandoning them altogether) can be a way to respect your in-the-moment reality AND your long-term objectives.

Lab Experiment:

Apply the tenets of “flexible planning” to your goal or project

- Make sure you have clearly defined goals.
- Make short-term plans.
- Listen to your gut.
- Have a measurable way to track your progress.
- Don’t force it.

Interested in having Monica present at your next live or virtual event? Learn more.

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What to do When You Lapse Oct 15, 2021

Everyone has lapses – small slips, moments, or even brief periods of time when you fall back into old habits and old patterns.

Lapses can be an opportunity to learn something useful. But all too often, a lapse leads to self-defeating and catastrophizing thoughts, which lead to further lapses. Before you know it, a series of small lapses has snowballed into a full-blown relapse–or a return to an old behavior or pattern. In this episode, we talk about how to process and rebound from those inevitable slips.

Takeaways

- Lapses happen to all of us–even those who seem like they never struggle.
- A lapse can be an opportunity that makes us even stronger.
- Telling yourself that you “always” sabotage yourself is a particularly unhelpful story.
- The more you can learn from a lapse, the better you can rebound from it–and make future lapses less likely.

Lab Experiment

- When you realize that a lapse has occurred, stay calm and be kind to yourself.
- Remember that a brief lapse will not erase all of your progress.
- Remind yourself of all the positive steps you have made. Don’t put all your focus on the one negative step.
- Reflect on your purpose in beginning this journey.
- Remember that giving up never moves you any closer to your goal.

Interested in having Monica present at your next live or virtual event? Learn more.

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How to Use Stress to your Advantage, with Dr. Nicole Byers Oct 06, 2021

Our guest on this episode is Dr. Nicole Byers. A self proclaimed neuroscience nerd, mom, and leadership/productivity coach, Dr. Byers helps busy professionals build confidence and get more done.

Dr. Nicole Byers is a psychologist who specializes in neuropsychology. A few years ago, she left her dream job working in a top hospital and teaching at a university to become an entrepreneur. Now she helps professionals develop the mental habits that allow them to feel less overwhelmed, more confident, and to take action toward their goals. She also hosts a terrific podcast called The Bold Life.

In this episode, Brock and Dr. Byers dive into the following topics:

- Why we default to old (and perhaps unwanted) behaviours when stressful situations arise.
- How we can avoiding all-or-nothing thinking and why giving ourselves some grace can actually keep us on track.
- How our brain constantly tells us stories about the stressful events – and how we can challenge those stories.
- When a circumstance is out of our control, the best approach can be to look at what can we control.
- Why asking yourself “what story I am telling myself right now?” is a great tactic to help change those stories.
- How a little stress can actually make us more effective – and productive.
- The interesting fact that our bodies react to negative and positive stress the same way.
- How the word stress got a bad reputation (should we start calling it the “twinkles” instead?)
- How being too busy (or a workaholic) makes you less productive and less effective. And how this applies to trying to change too many behaviours all at once.

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What Goals are Still Unmet? Sep 27, 2021

It’s been well over a year since we first talked about unmet goals and we thought it would be a great time to revisit this topic. If you’ve already listened to Episode 6, this is your chance to revisit this topic with fresh ears. If you haven’t... let’s dig in!

Takeaways:

Unmet goals get heavier and heavier the longer you carry them around.
An unmet goal can be a barrier (or an excuse) to achieving other goals
Sometimes, it’s wiser to let a goal go than to continue to pay the “interest”

Lab Experiment:

Think about a goal or ambition that’s been on your “to achieve” list for a while.
Take a moment to think (compassionately) about how much emotional capital you’re spending on that unmet goal.
Think about anything you’ve been putting off because this particular goal is still unmet.
Decide right now to either officially table that goal for now OR commit to taking concrete action this week.

Interested in having Monica present at your next live or virtual event? Learn more.

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How to Treat Yourself Better (Extracurricular) Sep 17, 2021

In this special extracurricular episode, we are sharing a little peek inside the year-long Weighless Program (https://weighless.life/enrollment) that you often here us talk about.

What you’re going to hear is actual content from that program that we thought would be a great complement to the stuff we do here in Change Academy. This content is part of a year-long curriculum in which we help people create and strengthen the mindset, habits, and lifestyle that lead to weighing less without dieting.

The reason we are sharing with you now is that our next group is going to be starting on October 8th 2021. Enrollment only opens a couple of times a year so if this is something that you have thought about doing, we didn’t want you to miss it! All the information on that program is at https://weighless.life/enrollment

Whether you are interested in the Weighless Program or not, we think that this particular topic is relevant and useful to all of our listeners and we are happy to share it with you now.

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What Problem are you Trying to Solve? Sep 06, 2021

We encourage you to identify things that aren’t working (or could be working better) and design solutions. But sometimes, we end up designing solutions that are unnecessarily complicated or costly.

We may even lose sight of our original objective and end up designing a “solution” that doesn’t solve the original problem at all. In this episode, we teach you how to notice when you are losing focus so you can get back on track.

Takeaways:

- Designing solutions that are unnecessarily complicated or costly may cause us to lose sight of our original objective.
- Sometimes our brain distracts us from working on the bigger issue by dazzling us with something that seems like it will help but doesn’t actually move us closer to our goals.
- Asking ourselves questions like: what is my current focus, what am I trying to create, or what is my real goal, can get us back on track.
- Simplify your plan before you complicate it into oblivion.

Lab Experiment:

- Think about a system or solution that you’ve designed that’s complicated or costly. It could be for your business, for your home or family, or something personal. It could be one you’ve already implemented or one you’re just thinking about.
- Identify the problem that this system was originally intended to solve (or what goal it was intended to achieve).
- Ask yourself (and/or your team): Does that problem (still) need to be solved? Has the original goal been abandoned or achieved?
- Is there a simpler way to solve the problem or achieve the goal?

Interested in having Monica present at your next live or virtual event? Learn more.

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Habits and Identity Aug 26, 2021

The things we do on a routine basis impact how we see ourselves. And the opposite is also true: How we see ourselves can influence how we act. In other words, our habits and our identity are closely tied to one another.

In this episode, we talk about how to make sure that connection between our behavior and our identity is working for us and not against us.

Takeaways

There’s an important difference between acknowledging a trait or circumstance that you’d like to change and allowing it to define you.
It can be easier to persist in a new behavior (or set of behaviors) if we work on building an identity that supports it.
Linking your behaviors to your core values helps to reinforce positive habits and identity
Who we associate with can have a powerful effect (either positively or negatively) on our progress toward our goals.

Lab Experiment:
Try this CBT technique (called STOPP)
1. STOP: If you hear yourself using terms to describe yourself that seem limiting, stop.
2. TAKE A BREATH: Breathe in and out a few times slowly.
3. OBSERVE: What am I really saying about myself? What do these words or terms cause me to think about myself?
4. PERSPECTIVE: Consider the bigger picture. Is this an important fact about me? Could there be a different way of presenting this aspect of myself? What would someone else say about you if they were asked?
5. PRACTICE: Don’t just do this once. Replacing a well rehearsed identity will take time, so don’t give up!

Interested in having Monica present at your next live or virtual event? Learn more.

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How to Fix a Sedentary Lifestyle (Extracurricular) Aug 13, 2021

In this extracurricular episode, we’re sharing a preview of an upcoming workshop on incorporating more movement and fitness into our daily routines. Even if you’re an avid exerciser, it’s still easy to end up sitting for long stretches of every day. And finding those hidden opportunities to sneak more movement into our daily routines can make the difference between ending the day stiff and cranky or finishing the day feeling flexible and energized!

We’re hoping this little snippet - about using a morning movement routine to both warm up your body and set your intentions for the day - will whet your appetite for more and that you’ll join us on August 19th for a full-length live workshop where Brock will show you how to squeeze more movement, fitness and fun into every day...no special equipment or clothes required. You don’t even have to break a sweat. The workshop is free but requires pre-registration, which you can do by going to changeacademypodcast.com/sitless

Interested in having Monica present at your next live or virtual event? Learn more.

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Motivation and Accountability Aug 09, 2021

This episode was suggested by a listener named Liz:

“I have clients that I fear will let go of their habits when they don’t have me there to hold them accountable. How do you coach someone to create that accountability for themselves or hold themselves accountable?”

Takeaways

Being more accountable to someone else than you are to yourself can be a red flag that either your goal is off or your reason for doing it is missing.
When you can align your goal with your identity and values, you can become someone who acts a certain way whether they feel motivated or have external accountability or not.
Cultivating more awareness of the intrinsic rewards can make you less dependent on external rewards (although you can still enjoy those as well).
You don’t need to stay motivated in order to succeed. You just need to stay committed.

Lab Experiment
When you find yourself searching for motivation, stop and ask yourself instead “Why is doing this thing or achieving this goal important to me?”
Next, ask yourself “What’s required of me right now? Who do I need to be in this moment in order to become who I want to be in the future?”
Imagine how you will feel after taking that next step–even if no one else knows you did it. Will you be glad you did it?
If so, simply commit to taking that next step, whether or not you feel motivated.

Interested in having Monica present at your next live or virtual event? Learn more.

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Changing the Unchangeable with Molly Watts Jul 30, 2021

Molly is the host of the Breaking the Bottle Legacy podcast, in which she shares her own experience with changing her long-standing drinking patterns and creating a healthier and more peaceful relationship with alcohol.

As you’ll see in this episode, Molly’s approach to behavior change aligns perfectly with what we talk about on the Change Academy, and can be applied to all kinds of behaviors and changes. You’ll find the Breaking the Bottle Legacy podcast wherever you listen and Molly’s book of the same title will be available soon on Amazon.com

Interested in having Monica present at your next live or virtual event? Learn more.

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Wisdom to Know the Difference Jul 19, 2021

The Serenity Prayer (“Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to tell the difference”) counsels us to accept the things that we cannot change. But often, the things that we say we cannot change are actually 100% within our control. In this episode, we explore whether something is truly out of our control or if we just prefer to believe that it is.

Takeaways:

- We may choose to believe that a situation is out of our control to avoid doing the hard work of change.
- Taking responsibility for what we are, in fact, choosing gives us the ability to choose differently.
- Being honest with ourselves about what we are actually getting from a “bad” situation may allow us to find other ways to serve those needs.
- Ensuring that you are acting in alignment with your core values can help you stay on a more meaningful path, especially when your judgement is feeling cloudy.

Lab Experiment:

Identify a situation in your life that you’re not happy with and make 4 lists.

What’s not working: Is it not creating the desired results, is it costing you too much, or creating consequences?
What is working: How is the status quo actually serving you? What are you getting from this situation that you want or feel you need?
What I can’t control: Make sure the things you’re putting on this list are truly things that you have no control over.
Actions I can take: Refer back to what’s working/not working for ideas and inspiration.

Interested in having Monica present at your next live or virtual event? Learn more.

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Defeat Procrastination with Microplanning Jul 09, 2021

We all have those tasks or projects that, despite our best intentions, we find ourselves procrastinating. It might be a new behavior or practice that we want to create a habit around, like exercising or meditating. Or it might be a personal or professional project that we want to accomplish, like writing an essay or report or creating a program or product.

In this episode, we offer a practical strategy that can help you overcome the tendency to procrastinate or to simply not do the things that you intend to do.

Takeaways

Procrastination may be a bad habit but it’s not necessarily a character flaw. Often, It’s just a sign that you need to put a better system into place.
Seeing a large project on your to-do list often creates inertia and overwhelm, but seeing microtasks on the list can create clarity and fuel progress.
Once the microsteps that initiate a task have been repeated enough times, you can usually stop planning them as separate tasks.
Keep your greater goal (and objective) in view so that you don’t get lost in the tasks.

Lab Experiment

Pick something that’s been on your to-do (or to-change or to-start) list forever without making any progress.
Brainstorm the very first steps that you’ll take–or even the preparatory steps that you need to before you can start. Do you need supplies or information that you don’t yet have? Do you need to enlist someone else’s support or input? Are there barriers that need to be removed?
Schedule the first step or steps individually into your planner. When will you start? When will you finish? How will you know you’ve completed that step?
When the appointed time comes, execute that first micro-step no matter what. We’re betting that having taken the first step, you’ll find it much easier to take the next one. But if you need to, keep scheduling (and executing) those microsteps until you find yourself in flow.

Interested in having Monica present at your next live or virtual event? Learn more.

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Radical Acceptance with Heather Hutchison Jun 30, 2021

In this episode, we depart a bit from our usual format and welcome a guest to the show.

Heather Hutchison is a singer/songwriter and author of the new memoir Holding On by Letting Go. Heather has been blind since birth and one of the things she hopes to do through her music and writing is educate people about disability and mental health.

One of the concepts she explores in her book is this idea of Radical Acceptance, a term that Brock introduced in our recent episode on coping.

So we thought it would be great to have Heather on the show to talk more about that. Please enjoy this conversation between co-host Brock Armstrong and Heather Hutchison.

Interested in having Monica present at your next live or virtual event? Learn more.

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Stop Coping So Well Jun 21, 2021

Coping mechanisms are not an inherently bad thing. If we can’t avoid or escape something unpleasant or even harmful, figuring out a way to cope with it is a good survival strategy. But sometimes we use coping mechanisms to tolerate things that maybe we shouldn’t be tolerating. In this episode, we explore the difference between helpful and unhelpful coping.

Takeaways:

- Using external pleasures to help us feel better (or cope) in particular situations is natural and normal.
- When those behaviors start to impair your happiness or your ability to achieve your greater goals, it becomes a problem worth addressing.
- Sometimes our coping mechanisms allow us to tolerate a situation that we’d be better off changing or avoiding.
- The first step in dismantling a coping mechanism is to identify what situation, emotion, or trigger leads to the unwanted behavior and then decide if we can react to it differently or work to eliminate it altogether.

Lab Experiment:

1. What problem am I trying to fix with this behavior?
2. Does this behavior actually fix the problem? (Sometimes the answer is yes!…at least for a little while)
3. Does the behavior cause a new problem?
4. How else might I find relief or solve this problem, so that I don’t need this “coping mechanism”?

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How to List Better Jun 11, 2021

To-do lists, checklists, scorecards can be great tools to keep us on track. But they can also seem like an overwhelming task themselves. Or worse yet, they can become yet another way that we judge our own abilities or self-worth.

In this episode, we show you how to create a list that suits you and your goals. We also explore how to structure that list so it can keep you on track without being a constant reminder of how much work you have to do.

Takeaways

- When used well, lists or scorecards can help us manage our time, accomplish our goals, and track our progress.

- Make sure your list doesn’t have more on it than you can reasonably accomplish in a given time frame. To-do lists aren’t just for work and chores.

- Make sure you also include things that are fun and rewarding on your list.

- Scorecards are more effective if used to track the things you want to do and not just the things you want to avoid.

- Bonus takeaway: Whether you are keeping a to-do list or a scorecard, include a note about why each task is important to you or how you will benefit from it.

Lab Experiment

- If you have an existing to-do list, make sure it has only things you really plan to accomplish. Remove the dead weight and make a list that seems doable and important to you. If you don’t have a to-do list, start one by listing the tasks that you really want to get done this week.

- Next, add the fun activities you have planned (or would like to plan) to the list.

- Now, choose three new behaviors that you would like to adopt and add those to your list.

- If the list seems too long or feels like a bummer, move items around, change the wording or remove items that lack meaning until you have a list that feels doable and energizing.

Interested in having Monica present at your next live or virtual event? Learn more.

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What's Holding You Back? Jun 02, 2021

Some of our goals or objectives require us to master a range of different skills. You’ll probably be naturally stronger in some areas than others. And sometimes, in order to reach our goals, overcoming or strengthening a weakness is essential.

But it's not just about forcing yourself to work on the things that are hard for you. In this episode, we focus on identifying areas where you need more support--and seeking out resources that can help.

Interested in having Monica present at your next live or virtual event? Learn more.

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Cues and Prompts May 21, 2021

In this episode, we’ll teach you how to identify and dismantle unhelpful cues and also build some helpful ones.

We all have cues in our lives that prompt us to carry out certain behaviors, like putting a seat belt on when we get in a car, grabbing snacks when we sit on the couch to watch a movie, or pouring a glass of wine when we change out of our work clothes.

Some of our cue responses are good (like seatbelts), and some are not so good (like snacks and alcohol). Many of them probably developed over time without our conscious intention.

We can, however, deliberately create cues in our lives to help us make decisions and perform behaviors that will benefit us.

Takeaways

Bringing conscious awareness to our cued behaviors can help us break them.
If we’re trying to break a bad habit it can be really helpful to eliminate or modify the cue as well as the behavior.
Purposely introducing new behaviors that are anchored to already existing behaviors can give us a nice head start.
Introducing a level of fun and gamification to this process can make it more effective.

Lab Experiment

For the next week, see how many cues or prompts you can spot as you go through your day. Jot them down as you come across them on a notepad or in your note-taking app.
At the end of the week, review your list. How many of your cues are triggering helpful behaviors and how many are triggering unhelpful responses?
How can you use this information to dismantle unhelpful cue/response cycles? You might choose to eliminate or modify the cue. Or you might choose to replace the old response to that cue with a new one.

Interested in having Monica present at your next live or virtual event? Learn more.

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The Power of Positive Illusions May 07, 2021

Having a firm grip on reality is usually seen as a sign of good mental health. But social scientists have discovered that happy and successful people routinely overestimate their skill, talent, and chances of success. In fact, that may be one of the secrets to their success. In this episode, we explore why being overly optimistic is not a cognitive defect that needs to be overcome but a constructive trait that we can cultivate.

Takeaways

Being willing to believe that you’ll beat the odds can make it more likely that you will
When you believe you’ll be successful in the end, it’s easier to cope with (and even learn from) setbacks.
Reflecting on past successes can be a good way to bolster your optimism about the future.
Optimism doesn’t save you from having to do the work. But we’re usually willing to work harder for something that we believe we can achieve.

Lab Experiment

1. Think of a goal or result you’d like to achieve.

2. Visualize what it would feel and look like to achieve it.

3. Picture yourself taking the steps required to make that dream a reality. (If you can’t clearly picture what those steps are, spend some time figuring out what they would be.)

4. Allow yourself to feel confident and optimistic—and let that optimism fuel your determination to do the work.

Interested in having Monica present at your next live or virtual event? Learn more.

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Spring Break (Extracurricular) Apr 14, 2021

Monica and Brock are taking a brief Spring Break but we will be back in May with brand new episodes.

In the meantime, this is the perfect time to go back and relisten to some of our previous episodes - in particular, the series about the "Eight Things to Make Changes that Last."

You may also find it helpful to download the Lab Notebook at https://changeacademypodcast.com/notebook

See you all soon!

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Changes We'd Like to Keep Apr 09, 2021

A year ago, virtually every aspect of our lives changed profoundly: How we eat, shop, work, socialize, exercise, etc. These weren’t changes we chose but changes that were forced on us. Now that we are beginning to imagine life returning to something more similar to pre-pandemic, we have some decisions to make. Are there new habits that we’ve adopted that we might want to keep? Old habits that we don’t want to return to.

What’s clear is that we DON’T want to do is miss this opportunity to make a conscious choice.

Takeaways:

For better or worse, the pandemic forced us to reassess/reinvent virtually every aspect of our lives.
There may be things that we adopted over the last year that actually worked better for us.
It’s worth pausing before we rush back into our pre-pandemic patterns to consider how we might want to return.
No matter what we choose, we are likely to be happier and more fulfilled if we make those choices consciously.

Lab Experiment:

Select an area of your life that you were forced to reinvent during the pandemic and will now have an opportunity to either revert to the previous stays quo or not.
Make a list of all of the ways that the change benefited you all the ways in which the change did not benefit you.
Think about those pros and cons in the context of your values. (Is convenience more important to you than consistency for example? Is quality more important than quantity? Is supporting local business more important than getting the cheapest price?)
Decide what you’d like to do once your options are open. Will you go back to your original status quo, stay with your current status quo, or design a third option that works best of all?

Interested in having Monica present at your next live or virtual event? Learn more.

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What's Your Default? Mar 31, 2021

Behavioralist Schlomo Benartzi defines a default as “what happens if you do nothing.“ If we’re too busy, distracted, or fatigued to make a choice or decision, the default wins the day. And because we’re often busy, distracted, or fatigued we want to be careful and intentional about which defaults are operating on our lives. In this episode, we’ll show you how to do that.

Takeaways

Some default mechanisms are imposed on us by society, employers, software, etc. Others we create and implement for our own benefit.
Like habits, default mechanisms can be very powerful--both in ways that serve us and ways that don’t.
Because defaults are often somewhat invisible, we may not always notice them. But it’s important to be aware when a default is operating in our lives.
Defaults represent the path of least resistance. But does that path (still) lead where we want to go?

Lab Experiment
Option 1:
Step 1: Identify a default mechanism that is currently in place in your life (whether it’s one that you designed or one that was put in place by someone else).
Step 2: Ask yourself: does this path of least resistance lead somewhere that I want to go?
Step 3: If not, how can you disable that default mechanism?
Option 2:
Step 1: Identify a goal or outcome you want to create. (For example, saving a certain percentage of your income, not reading emails during certain hours, eating more vegetables).
Step 2: Ask yourself: What default mechanism can I put in place to make that happen? (For example, setting up an automatic savings plan, changing the settings on your email client, or subscribing to a produce delivery).

Interested in having Monica present at your next live or virtual event? Learn more.

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Office Hours (Extracurricular) Mar 28, 2021

In this extracurricular episode, we invite you to listen in to a group coaching session that we held recently with members of our year-long Weighless Program. The strategies and insights that came up in this session can be applied to any change you are working on. And if you think you might like to work with us in the Weighless Program, details are here https://weighless.life/enroll.)

Interested in having Monica present at your next live or virtual event? Learn more.

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How Do You Want to Engage? Mar 19, 2021

In the last episode, we talked about deciding which thoughts deserve our energy. But once we've decided that a situation deserves our attention, we need to decide how we want to engage with it. The words we use to describe (even to ourselves) what’s going on in our lives or our heads can make a big difference.

Takeaways:

The language that we use when we think or talk about a situation can affect how we engage with it

We may want to approach different situations with different language or attitude.

Just because it works for someone else doesn’t mean it's right for you. Make sure you are choosing an approach that suits you.

Trying on different approaches to the same thought or situation can help you find one that works best. So don’t give up after just one try.

Lab Experiment:

Choose a situation or thought that you’ve decided deserves your attention and write a few sentences about it. Then, see if you can pick up a tone by asking yourself:

What verbs are you choosing?
What metaphors are you using?
How do these make you feel?

Can you think of other language or metaphors that create a different feeling? Does that feel better or worse?

Decide what way of engaging serves you best and start to use that language in relation to this situation.

Interested in having Monica present at your next live or virtual event? Learn more.

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Choosing Your Thoughts Mar 09, 2021

Not all of our thoughts deserve our attention or energy. Some can safely be dismissed without further examination. But we often allow unworthy or unhelpful thoughts to take up a lot of real estate in our brains--and this can negatively impact how we feel, what we do, and ultimately what we accomplish. In this episode, we talk about why it’s so important to choose which thoughts you give your energy to. Takeaways

With all the thousands of thoughts going through our head, we are bound to have some that stick in our craw and that is OK.
Thoughts on their own are harmless. It is what we choose to do with them that creates negative feelings and emotions.
When we feel strong emotions like regret or shame over our thoughts we give those thoughts more energy and power over us.
Managing our thoughts takes time (like most meaningful change) but taking that time can free our mental energy to make progress on our goals instead of just thinking about them.

Lab Experiment
Next time you notice that a thought is causing you stress or discomfort, write that thought down.
Step 1: Ask yourself: Is this thought verifiably true? (If you said it in public, would everyone agree that it is true?
Step 2: Ask yourself: Do I have anything to gain from continuing to entertain this thought? Is continuing to think about this going to make me feel better or help me make a better decision?
Step 3: If you decide that a thought does not deserve your energy, make a conscious decision to put it down. Use whatever imagery works best for you: pick up the remote control and change the channel, pluck it out of your mental garden and throw it in the compost, pick up the cosmic scissors and cut the string, or make up your own. But whatever image you choose, take a moment to really act it out in your imagination.
Step 4: Decide what you want to think about instead and spend some time cultivating that thought.

Interested in having Monica present at your next live or virtual event? Learn more.

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What You Gain by Slowing Down Feb 26, 2021

We often feel like we have to make a decision, make a change, make a difference, or achieve a goal quickly. But if we want the benefits to be meaningful and lasting, shouldn’t we be willing to take our time? In this episode, we consider the downside of rushing into a decision to change without considering the realities of trying to create change in too much of a hurry. Then, we'll explore some alternatives.

Takeaways:

Knowing or understanding how to do something isn’t the same as actually doing it and experiencing it. Better to gather less information and apply it than to gather lots of information but never to put anything into action.
Sometimes, learning how to slow down and be more deliberate is part of what we need to learn to do in order to get to the result we’re seeking.
Before deciding to commit to a new goal or challenge, be sure you understand what it will involve and whether you’re actually willing to do what it will take.
Things we acquire or develop through slow steady work have a better chance of becoming long-term habits.

Lab Experiment:
Think of an area of your life where you feel like you are in a hurry to finish or achieve something. And ask yourself:

Is trying to get there more quickly actually serving you or just causing you to cut corners?
How could slowing down actually enhance either the process or the result (or both)?
What do you need to adjust about either your actions, beliefs, or self-talk to allow yourself to slow down?
What parts of the process (rather than the outcome) can you focus on that will bring you pleasure and satisfaction?

Interested in having Monica present at your next live or virtual event? Learn more.

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Transformation Toolkit (Extracurricular) Feb 19, 2021

FREE WORKSHOP: Learn From Two of The Top Health Experts Online, Board-Certified Nutritionist Monica Reinagel and Certified Fitness Coach Brock Armstrong!

https://weighless.life/toolkit

FREE WORKSHOP: Saturday, Feb. 27th at 4pm ET

Building Your Transformation Toolkit (The 5 things you need to achieve lasting weight loss)

Plus: 6 things you think you need (but don't)

SIGN UP at https://weighless.life/toolkit TO JOIN US LIVE

You'll Learn:

How to create the right kind of habits
The secret to getting (and staying) motivated
How to clear away excuses and obstacles

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Your Future Self Feb 17, 2021

Our current actions are creating our future reality. Sometimes, we have to choose between what we want right now and what we want for our future selves. Research shows that the more emotionally connected we feel to our future selves, the more likely we are to make choices that benefit that future self. In this episode, we explore ways to form a more intimate connection with your future self.

Takeaways:

People who can picture their future selves with great clarity make choices that are more likely to support that vision.

One way to picture that future self is to follow what is likely to happen if you continue to practice your most consistent behaviors and imagine what the outcome will be.

Alternatively, picture how you'd like your future to look and ask yourself what (if anything) needs to change now in order to make that picture a reality.

Don’t fret if every single choice you make is not in alignment with this vision, just make sure that the majority are.

Lab Experiment:

Step 1: Pick a specific date at least 3 but no more than 10 years in the future.

Step 2: Bring the future you that will wake up on that date into focus: Look into the mirror. What do you see? What will your day look like? What’s going on with your health? Your work life? Your home life? Your finances? What will the world look like?

Step 3: Now, write your future self a letter.

Tell your future self about things you are doing today that you hope they will be benefiting from by the time they read this letter.
If you have concerns about the way some of the things you are doing right now might cause pain to your future self, you might want to talk about those as well.
What would you like future you to know (remember) about present you?
What questions do you have now that future you will know the answer to? How will knowing those answers change you?

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Contingency Plans Feb 06, 2021

Having a plan allows us to convert our intentions into action. But having a contingency plan may be just as important. They allow us to recover when things don’t go according to plan. In this episode, we help you create your own customized contingency plan so that when life goes sideways, you can land on your feet instead of getting derailed.

Takeaways

No matter how well we plan, things will sometimes go sideways. We can either use that as an excuse to abandon our goals or we can pivot to a contingency.

Having a contingency plan (and the ingredients to make that plan work) already in place can mitigate the stress rather than add to it.

Viewing a misstep as an opportunity to develop a contingency plan allows us to learn and develop more and more resilience.

In order for resilience to become a habit, we need to practice it - and that means creating and using your contingency plans again and again.

Lab Experiment

Identify which of your plans get derailed most frequently.
Come up with 3 possible contingency plans that will help you minimize the damage instead of adding to the stress.
Gather whatever information, ingredients, or materials you’d need to execute that contingency plan.
Keep your contingency plan in written form somewhere where you can easily access it when necessary.

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Aligned Actions Jan 26, 2021

How well do your actions align with your values? Often there can be a disconnect between what we say our priorities are and the choices that we are making on a daily basis. That misalignment can lead to frustration if it keeps us from achieving our goals.

But it might also reveal that we’re not being entirely honest with ourselves about what we value. Whether we choose to adjust our priorities or our actions, bringing them into alignment will make us happier and more successful.

Takeaways:

Looking at how we spend our time can help us be more intentional about making choices that support our goals.

It can also help us be more honest with ourselves about what we value.

Aligning our actions with our priorities can help us be happier and more successful in realizing our goals.

Giving yourself permission to reevaluate your goals is often an important step in this process.

Lab Experiment:

Make a list of the things that are most important to you in life, your values and priorities.
Make a list of all the ways you spend your discretionary time
Notice whether your actions are aligned with your values.
What can you do to bring them more into alignment?

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Why We Say Yes Jan 16, 2021

When we are trying to change an unwanted behavior, we often get so focused on trying to find ways to say no to it that we miss the step of understanding why we say yes to it in the first place.

While learning how to say no is a valuable skill (and one we’ll look at in a future episode), understanding why we say yes can ultimately be more important and more effective than just getting better at saying no ourselves.

Takeaways:

There are times when simply getting better at saying no to yourself (or your inner toddler) is the perfect thing to practice.

But when saying no becomes unsustainable and you find yourself rebelling more often than you are succeeding, it is time to take a closer look.

The reasons we give ourselves for choosing an undesired behavior are often rooted in some cognitive distortions or at least wishful thinking.

By identifying why we say yes to something that we should say no to (or vice versa) we can start to dismantle our faulty thinking and develop the skills to stay on track with ease.

Lab Experiment:

Think about the reasons why you say yes to a certain behavior.

Make a list of:

What you think this behavior gives you or how it benefits you.
The reasons others (friends, media, society) give for why people indulge in (or abstain from) this behavior.
How you feel about others who exhibit this behavior.

Reflect on how you feel about this behavior now that you understand it from more angles. And keep this list handy for the next time you feel like saying NO isn’t going to cut it.

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Midweek Resets and Evening Rituals Jan 06, 2021

If you start your week or your day off full of focus, determination, and vigour but find it waning by the weekend or the evening, you are not alone. In this episode, we teach you a strategy to solve each of these issues by rethinking how you plan for and execute your time.

Takeaways:

Mentally breaking your day and week into smaller parts can make following through on your plans feel less overwhelming and exhausting.
Setting aside time to review your goals as well as your objectives and compelling reasons can help refresh your intentions.
Schedule a specific ritual (whether it’s a midweek goal-setting or after-work refresh) strategically for the time when you typically start to lose focus or resolve.
Having a written record of your goals/objectives/whys can help provide a reminder when you need one.

Lab Experiment:

Option 1: On Wednesday night, set aside an hour to prepare yourself mentally and logistically for what you want to accomplish personally in the week to come. Write down your goals, intentions, and objectives. Think of your week as a 2-day sprint, 2 days of rest and recovery, followed by a final 3-day effort.

Option 2: At the end of the day (or before you make dinner), set aside 5 minutes to do some yoga, go for a quick walk or just sit and do some breathing or journaling exercises. Review your goals, intentions and objectives. Think about why these are important to you and what it would feel like to stay in alignment with those goals.

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Are You Too Busy For Change? Dec 28, 2020

Have you ever felt that you were simply too busy to make the changes you’d like to make in your life? In this episode, we challenge some of those stories we have about how busy we are and how much time change requires. We’ll also offer advice on how you can fit the work of change in around other obligations and priorities.

Key Takeaways:

Being too busy is often an excuse that we use when there’s some other reason we’re avoiding taking action, like doubt, avoiding the discomfort of the unfamiliar, or fear of failing or making a mistake.
A lot of us aren’t nearly as busy as we think we are--and the other side of that optical illusion is thinking that something will take much longer than it actually will.
Or, we are making ourselves busy with thing that we don’t really value.
By being more intentional about how we use our time, we can make room for the things that are most meaningful, including making the changes that we want to make.

Lab Experiment:
In her book Time Smart: How to Reclaim Your Time and Live a Happier Life, Ashley Whillans recommends cultivating time affluence by evaluating areas of improvement.

Think about a typical day you had.
What are moments that brought you joy and what were moments that brought you stress?
Of all those activities that aren't bringing meaning or pleasure, and that are unproductive and stressful, choose one very specific activity to do less of going forward.
Once you have identified a habit that doesn't serve you well, write down a strategy for avoiding the activity, and put the written reminder in a visible spot. This is where you can reclaim some time and use it for change.

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Eating Healthier (Extracurricular) Dec 22, 2020

It's an Extracurricular episode! We'll be back to our regular episodes soon but for now...

Join Monica Reinagel (and Brock Armstrong) for the 30-Day Nutrition Upgrade on Jan 3, 2021. More info at https://nutritionovereasy.com/30-day-nutrition-upgrade/

Spoiler: if you listen to this very short episode you will get a special discount code!

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Should You Focus on Strengths or Weaknesses? Dec 16, 2020

When designing your life, you can choose to lean into your superpowers and do more of the things that you're really good at or you can choose to address your weak spots and focus on building up those things that you're not naturally good at. You'll hear people arguing both sides of this coin. Let's explore what makes the most sense and how this fits into our work in creating our ideal selves.

Key Takeaways:

Conquering the things we struggle with can be very rewarding but not everything is worth the time and effort.
Sometimes it makes sense to outsource things that we don’t get value or fulfillment from doing ourselves.
Give yourself permission to not excel at everything! There’s nothing wrong with you just because other people can do certain things better than you.
Focusing on our strengths can allow us to achieve more (in a limited arena) than we can if we’re trying to be good at everything.

Lab Experiment:

Step 1: Identify an area of weakness...where you feel like you lack skill, talent, or affinity

Step 2: Consider how/whether strengthening this weakness could move you closer to your goals or your ideal self. What’s the minimum level of competence/comfort/mastery you would need to achieve and what would it take to achieve that?

Step 3: Consider the costs of addressing the weakness (opportunity costs of time not spent in strengths?) What (if anything) could you put into place to compensate for your lack of ability in this area.

Step 4: Make a conscious decision whether to address this weakness or allow it.

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Being Good Enough Dec 04, 2020

Sometimes, our desire to change is rooted in the belief that we are not good enough--and that we need to fix whatever’s wrong with us in order to be happy or fulfilled. But rather than being motivating, this can actually be a very limiting belief that makes it more difficult to create positive change. In this episode, we’re going to explore the idea that we are good enough… even if there are things that we want to change.

Key takeaways:

When we are always striving to become good enough, we live our lives from a place or not being good enough - or being broken, needing to be fixed.
When we make peace with the fact that we aren’t perfect, but we are good enough, it liberates us to devote our lives to simply getting better.
Making peace with our imperfections does not mean that we stop trying to better ourselves, it just means that we don’t have to delay contentment for that elusive day when we finally reach our goal.

Lab Experiment:

Take some time to reflect and consider how the limiting belief ‘I’m not good enough’ affects your own life. To help guide your thinking, ask yourself these questions:

In what ways and what areas do you recognize this belief in your own life? How does this belief manifest in different areas of your life?
How has your life been affected by believing this? What results have you achieved or missed out on?
Think about the past events where you learned to believe that you were ‘not good enough’ and consider how you could re-interpret these events now?
If you make the decision to choose to accept the fact that who you are as an individual is fundamentally ‘good enough’ then how might you change or modify your expectations of the future? (do you think you might start that business, plan that investment, ask that person out for coffee?)

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What, How, Why Problems Nov 25, 2020

The key to solving any problem is first understanding what the problem truly is. In this episode of the Change Academy podcast we define the three types of problems that crop up and teach you how to identify which one you’ve got. Then once you recognize what type of problem you’re dealing with, your chances of solving it go way up.

Takeaways:

If you’re not sure what needs to happen in order to solve the problem or create the result you want, you have a what problem.
If you know what needs to happen but you don’t know how to make that happen, you have a how problem.
If you know what needs to happen and how to make it happen but you find yourself not taking action, you have a why problem.
Why problems cannot be solved with what or how solutions.

Lab Experiment:

Identify a place in your life where you are stuck or not making progress.

Step 1: Can you write down in a sentence or two exactly what needs to happen or change in order to achieve the goal or solve this problem? If not, focus your energy on identifying the best approach. If yes, proceed to Step 2.

Step 2: Can you write down the concrete actions you need to take next? If not, focus your energy on identifying what your next steps are (which might be researching, planning, or taking some small action.). If yes, proceed to Step 3

Step 3: Can you write down 5 detailed and compelling reasons that you want to do this now? If not, spend some time digging for your why (or maybe your why not)?

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Looking for Easy Wins w/ Mitch Harb Nov 16, 2020

In this episode of the Change Academy podcast, Mitch Harb joins us to talk about his “easy wins” approach to creating sustainable behaviour change.

Mitch is a personal trainer and nutrition coach. He is certified by the National Academy of Sports Medicine and is the co-owner (with Zach Smith) of Hidef Seattle, a fitness studio and physical therapy practice that offers both in-person and virtual training and coaching.

Take Aways:

Small interventions can also be big wins. And those interventions don't all have to be "one hundreds" they just can't be "zeros."
Often, process-oriented successes (like being consistent) can be more effective than goal-oriented successes.
Figuring out how an individual goal supports or reflects your larger life priorities can be a powerful motivator.
Keeping momentum is easier than starting up again and again.

Lab Experiment:
Choose one area of your life that you’d like to make a change in (eating habits, sleep, exercise, or any other area).

Spend this week collecting some data on your current habits and patterns. For example, keep track of what time you’re going to bed, getting up, and how rested you feel each day.
Notice what happens when you break from your normal patterns. Do you feel better or worse? For example, does running after work or on a trail feel easier or harder than running around the neighbourhood before breakfast?
Use the information you’ve gathered in Step 1 and 2 to identify an easy win that you can incorporate into your daily routine. For example, adding one extra serving of vegetables into your meals every day.

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Breaking Highly Rewarding Habits Nov 06, 2020

Some habits are just habits. We do them because they take us down the road of least resistance. But some habits give us pleasure, and we often think of those habits as being more like an addiction - something that is going to take willpower and determination to break. But what if we told you that you can break a highly rewarding habit without resorting to a monastic lifestyle? That is what we are going to cover in this episode.

Key Takeaways:

Breaking any habitual behaviour can be challenging but when that habitual behaviour is highly rewarding, it can be even more difficult.
Sometimes things that were once rewarding become less rewarding (or more costly) over time--but they’ve become habitual.
Replacing a rewarding (but costly) habit with a different rewarding activity can make it easier to break a habit
We can create a more rewarding life by choosing our habits (and our rewards) more intentionally.

Lab Experiment:

Make a list of activities that you find rewarding or that give you pleasure. Make it as comprehensive as you can.
Review your list and put an X next to anything where the cost (in time, money, energy, or health) is greater than the reward you get--or even just more than you want to pay.
Review your list again and put a checkmark next to those things that would make your life better if you did them more often.
How can you use this information to create positive change?

NB: For more detailed instructions, listen to the audio.

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Use the Power of Distraction for Good Oct 28, 2020

Being easily distracted can be a bad habit and also a barrier to change. But we can also use distraction as a way to break bad habits or ingrained behaviours. The trick is being more intentional about when, why, and how you choose to distract yourself.

Takeaways:

Distraction is when we allow an unplanned intrusion or diversion to pull us off focus or task. Redirection is when we consciously choose to redirect our attention.
Distraction (unintentional) can cause harm in two ways 1) keep us from doing what we need to be doing and 2) may cause us to engage in behaviors or activities that aren’t serving us.
Redirection (intentional) is 1) making a conscious decision that you would benefit from refocusing you attention on something else, and 2) choosing the alternative focus/activity thoughtfully

Intentionality is the key.

Lab Experiment:

Next time you find yourself in the grips of an unhelpful thought or emotion (such as anxiety, worry, stage-fright) try the mental flashlight technique:

Step 1 - use your other senses (not your monkey mind) to identify (or shine your mental flashlight) on something you see, hear, smell, or generally are “aware of.”
Step 2 - Simply say the words (out loud or in your head) “I am aware of ____” without attachment or judgement. Just simply be aware.
Step 3 - Repeat: Become aware of something else around you (not inside you). Use as many different senses as you can to list all the things you are aware of.

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How We Talk Ourselves Out of Change Oct 20, 2020

In this episode, we explore how and why we often talk ourselves out of making the changes we want to make - and give you some tools that will allow you to push through that self-sabotage.

There’s an odd but very common phenomenon where we identify a change we’d like to make in our lives, we get excited about it (we may even take a step or two toward making it) but then, we abandon the effort before we’ve really even tried long enough to succeed (or fail!).

Resources mentioned:
Workplace Hero podcast episode: Work Expands (or contracts) to the Time Allowed

Key Takeaways:

Your brain is wired to seek familiarity, comfort, and efficiency. Change is by definition unfamiliar, uncomfortable, and inefficient.

Talking you out of change--by convincing you that change isn’t possible or that now is not a good time--is your lower brains’ attempt to keep you safe.

Often these thoughts are operating below the surface or your conscious awareness.

By tuning into these thoughts with your higher brain, you can decide whether or not they are actually serving you.

Lab Experiment:

How are you talking yourself out of making a change? Identify the reason or excuse your brain has come up with and write it down as an "Unhelpful Thought."

Then use the following questions to assess the validity of this thought:

Is there substantial evidence for or against my thought?
Am I trying to interpret this situation without all the evidence?
What would a friend think about this situation if I consulted them?
If I talk myself out of change, how will I feel a year from now? How about five years from now?

Now, see if you can rewrite your unhelpful thought in a more balanced, rational, and helpful way. With practice, this can become a very effective tool for thought management in all realms of life.

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Why Short-term Challenges Don’t Create Long-term Change Oct 11, 2020

People seem to love these short-term challenges where you give up sugar for a week, do 25 push-ups every day for a month, or give up alcohol for SoberOctober. While these can be fun, and an interesting challenge, do they ever actually result in permanent change? In this episode, we will give you a recipe to make the most of them.

Resources mentioned: The 30-Day Nutrition Upgrade

Key Takeaways:

Habits aren’t made or broken because we did something (or avoided doing something) through willpower alone, for a set amount of time.
Doing short term challenges can actually delay the process of making more meaningful changes.
If you want to use a short-term challenge as a springboard for longer-term change, make sure you’re not just counting down the days, but using that time to gain a better understanding of the role that a particular behaviour plays in your life.
Be sure to think past the end of the challenge: what happens at the end? What do you want to carry forward into the future?

Lab Experiment:
When you find yourself considering joining in the latest 7 day, 21 day, or month-long fad, take some time to ask yourself some questions:

Why is this attractive to me?
What do I hope to learn from this temporary challenge?
What plan can I put in place to ensure I don’t just return to my previous behaviour as soon as it is done?
Am I using this as a delay or distraction from the deeper changes that I know I want to make? (see episode 6: the hidden cost of unmet goals)

Thinking carefully about these questions before you embark on a short-term challenge can make it about more just a temporary exercise in willpower.

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You Reached Your Goal, Now What? Oct 05, 2020

Sometimes we get excited about an idea, we follow through on a goal, and are very successful at it. But while everything should be peaches and cream, we realize that this isn't the happy reality we thought it would be. Or maybe our feelings and values have simply changed. That is when we are faced with the problem of "what do we do next?"

In this episode, we ask our guest, Naomi Rotstein, why she decided to leave her successful career as a competitive body-builder and how she went about redefining her new objective and, ultimately, created a freer and more satisfying life.

Key Takeaways:

Keep an eye out for warning signs that what you have achieved isn’t healthy or sustainable.
Using your willpower can be addictive… not in a good way.
Even if you have a history of being a bit of a control freak, you can learn to relax and shake that all-or-nothing mentality.
You can change the values of your goals to make them more sustainable, without abandoning them altogether.
Sometimes we can’t see what’s next until we clear away what is here.

Lab Experiment:

Take a look at your current goals and consider whether they are truly allowing you to live your best life. If this goal is no longer what you want, stop pursuing it.
Think about your perfect life or your ideal day, what would you want to be doing?
What are three steps you could take that would bring you closer to your ideal life?
Which one of those steps could you take this week?

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Why You Need to Focus Sep 26, 2020

Most of us have a long list of things about our lives (or ourselves) that we would like to change. And while that is a great place to start, when you are working on creating a more fulfilling life, the problem is that when we try to make a bunch of changes at once, we end up changing nothing. That is why knowing what to focus on and when is essential.

Key Takeaways:

All goals feel and are important, and doing them in a particular order doesn’t mean you don’t value or will forget about the other goals.
Focusing on one new behaviour at a time -- instead of trying to change everything at once -- can actually help you accomplish your goals more quickly.
Cultivating the ability to prioritize and focus can help us with other aspects of our lives
When choosing what to focus on, prioritize behaviours that you perceive to be impactful AND that you feel ready to tackle now.

Lab Experiment:

Make a list of all the changes that you’d like to make. Consider their potential impact and your readiness to do them.
Choose no more than three to focus on and put all the others on hold - for now.
Estimate how long you will need to focus on each one (in order to either accomplish it or create a solid habit.)
Decide what the very first step for each one will be, including when/where/how you will take it--and then take that first step!

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Collecting the Evidence For Change Sep 16, 2020

It's hard to keep believing that change is possible when all the evidence seems to point to the contrary. And that's why it's so important to collect some evidence that a different choice is possible.

Takeaways:

You can’t lie to yourself - you need evidence to convince your brain that this is true, possible and worth doing.
Evidence can come internally or externally.
It takes deliberate practice to collect enough evidence to make it stick. One success is unlikely to convince your inner skeptic.
Habits that have good evidence behind them, gain momentum.

Lab Experiment:

Choose a behaviour or habit that you have struggled with but failed to change in the past. Those past failed attempts could be considered evidence that change is, in fact, not possible.

Collect at least one piece of counter-evidence. This can be either an example of someone in a similar situation or (ideally) one time in which you actually succeeded in changing your long-standing behaviour.

Think about how many pieces of counter-evidence you would need to collect in order to believe that you do, in fact, have the ability to change this pattern in a more lasting way.

Then, start collecting (and counting!) that evidence. You may even find that it doesn’t take as many pieces of evidence as you thought to begin believing something new about yourself.

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Is Comfort Overrated? Sep 07, 2020

We humans like comfort. We believe that making ourselves comfortable is a good way to take care of ourselves and make ourselves feel content. But is this desire truly helpful or is it simply a way to keep ourselves stuck exactly where we are?

Most of us place a certain value on being comfortable. And sometimes, something that is comfortable is very pleasurable (like putting on a favourite comfy sweater or connecting with an old friend). But often, it’s simply familiar (like the way your family celebrates holidays).

By the same token, something that is uncomfortable at first, because it’s unfamiliar, may end up being very rewarding. But if we are unwilling to be uncomfortable, we’ll never find out.

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Subscribe to the podcast (and leave a review/rating)
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Getting Gritty with Rebecca Louise Aug 28, 2020

You have probably heard the term 'grit' thrown around but what does it actually mean? Our guest on this episode boils it down to “getting back up, one more time.”

In this episode, Monica interviews guest Rebecca Louise, of the It Takes Grit podcast about why we feel stuck what it takes to get unstuck.

Rebecca has helped millions of people improve their mindset and achieve their goals. The secret behind Rebecca’s success isn’t just her (as she says) cheeky British humour; people come to Rebecca because she’s shared many of the same experiences as them – so she knows what’s it’s like to feel lost, unable to find the right career, be broke, divorced, and struggle with an unhelpful relationship with food. It wasn’t until Rebecca changed her mindset and started to become the master of her habits that she was able o truly find her way to a career that she loved and a lifestyle that matched.

Key Takeaways:

The only way you can fail at something is if you quit.
Instead of saying that you are stuck, admit to yourself that you have stopped and then find a way to get going again.
Action creates motivation, not the other way around.
If we are so locked to our identities as someone who defined by their past or in need of fixing, we will find it hard to make change.
Don’t take advice from someone you wouldn’t trade places with. And then make sure you actually follow their advice.

Lab Experiment:
Think about the last time you asked for help, heard some good advice on a podcast, or found some helpful knowledge in a book you read.
Then think about whether or not you actually took action based on what you learned.
If the answer is “no” or even “sort of,” see if you can identify why you didn’t take action. Was it because you are too tied to your identity as someone who is X, Y or Z? Is it because you were scared that it actually might work? Or did you think it was going to take too much effort?
Learning how to do this type of introspection can help you avoid that stuck feeling and help you become the curious experimenter that we all want to be.
Resources and Links: Resources and Links:
It Takes Grit podcast episode: How to get unstuck
Rebeccas's new book, It Takes Grit

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Rewards vs. Consequences Aug 21, 2020

What are the pros and cons of using rewards vs. consequences as our compelling reason to change?

Sometimes our compelling reason is a positive vision of a future we want to create. But other times it’s a negative vision of a future we want to avoid. Is one better at keeping us on the path toward our ideal self more than the other?

Key Takeaways:

There is no clear winner or wrong way to do this. Just knowing the difference and trying each on for size is important.
No matter which version you feel works best for you, make sure you develop a clear and detailed picture of the Reward or the Consequence.
Be aware of the language that you choose when you are working on developing or solidifying a behaviour.
Performing an action is often more achievable than not performing one.

Lab Experiment:
State your compelling reason (or your Why) for making the change you want to make and pay attention to whether it is based around a reward or consequence. Before you lock it in, turn it around and see if you can restate it as the opposite. Give each version time to breathe and then consider which one feels more motivating, calming, satisfying or doable in the long run.

Resources:
The Savvy Psychologist: How to Overcome Feelings of Shame.
Harvard Business Review: What Motivates Employees More: Rewards or Punishments?

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Make the Most of an Impulse Aug 07, 2020

In this episode, we talk about impulse control and how giving in to unplanned urges can get in the way of achieving lasting change. Not only that, but it can rob us of the pleasure of anticipating and maximizing an indulgence.

Main takeaways:

It’s not about deprivation. We are not suggesting that we live without pleasure. In fact, we are suggesting the opposite!
Impulse indulgences are usually much less pleasurable than the ones we would plan and choose.
Remember the minimum effective dose. You don’t have to blow the entire afternoon off of work, eat the entire pie, drink the whole bottle, purchase everything in your Amazon shopping cart in order to not feel deprived.

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Your Past Does Not Predict Your Future Jul 24, 2020

In this episode, we discuss why our past failures (or successes) don't predict our future successes (or failures). Then, more importantly, we get into how to dismantle that idea so you can clear a path for future change and growth.

There is a tension between using our past to our advantage while also not getting stuck in it. And striking that balance is tricky. Cutting ourselves completely free from our past is not the goal - but learning to use our past thoughtfully, can be.

Key Takeaways:

Our past does not define who we are or predict our future results- unless we fail to learn from our missteps and continue taking the same actions.
If we allow our past to stop us from taking action we will never make progress.
Accept the idea that we can and do change, whether it is a purposeful change or just a side effect of time, we are not the same person we were in the past.
Once we let go of the past, we no longer have to feel the need to fix ourselves - we can simply commit to a journey of self-improvement, where we work on being a better version of ourselves each day.

Lab Experiment:
An exercise to explore the ways in which your thoughts about your past may be informing or perhaps limiting your future

Write a paragraph describing yourself and your life as it was five years ago. Jot down where you lived, what you were doing, your relationships. Try to remember what dreams you had or the goals you were working toward, any major successes or failures that preceded that period of your life. And finally, see if you can remember what you believed about yourself then. What did you think was possible or impossible for you? What did you see as your greatest strengths and weaknesses?
Now write a paragraph describing yourself and your life as it is now. Your current circumstances, occupation, relationships, dreams, goals. What major successes and failures have you experienced this year. What do you believe about yourself now? What do you think is possible or impossible today? What do you see as your greatest strengths and weaknesses today?
And now compare these two versions. How do you feel about what you see? Are you surprised to realize how much has or hasn’t changed? Did you fail or succeed in any new or interesting ways? Are you holding on to dreams, goals, beliefs that are no longer relevant or true?
Finally, write a paragraph describing yourself and your life as you’d like it to be in 5 years. What goals would you like to have achieved? What failures might you need to experience in order to reach them? What would you like to believe about yourself five years from now? What would you like your greatest strengths to be?

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Make Not Quitting a Habit Jul 13, 2020

The truth is that every time we give ourselves an excuse to quit, we get better at quitting. But every time we don’t quit, we get better at pushing through. So, both quitting and not quitting can become a habit. And an identity.

Reasons we quit :

Not seeing benefits.
Fatigue and anticipation of future fatigue
Perfectionism (all or nothing thinking)
Success would move us out of our comfort zone.

Lab Experiment:
Let's do some reverse engineering. Think back to the last time you quit or gave up on a new hobby, task, job, goal, or whatever.
Once you have it in mind take a deep look at two things:

Was this a potentially beneficial activity? If you had continued to do this thing, how would your life look in 2 weeks, 2 months or 2 years from now? — If the answer is “not that different” then choose a different activity.
Why did you give up on it? Were you not seeing benefits, were you bored or tired of it, did you feel like you were running out of willpower, were you not able to execute it the way you had imagined, did your perfectionist side creep out, or were you frightened of what your life might look like if you succeeded?

Now, once you have zeroed in on one (or maybe more) of the reasons for why you quit, can you figure out how you might be able to remove some of the roadblocks to make it easier and more likely that you will succeed next time?

Resources:

Make “no quit” Your New Habit (Brock's Weighless LIfe blog post)

The central governor model of exercise regulation (National Library of Medicine paper)

Which wolf with you Feed story

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Challenging our Beliefs Jul 08, 2020

In this episode, we look at our beliefs and how deeply they affect both the choices we make in life and how we react to situations.

Here is a bit of a spoiler: As we go through life, we may need to periodically reexamine our beliefs to make sure they still serve us.

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Attention Intention Action Cycle Jul 01, 2020

This is an approach we developed to help people in our Weighless program create sustainable weight loss but this process can be applied to any change that you want to make in your life. In this episode, we explain how it works.

Key Takeaways:

You really need all three of these to make change sustainable. All the awareness in the world doesn't create change until you form a concrete intention. And intentions are nothing without action. And taking action without paying attention tends to fizzle out.
When you learn to harness all three of these functions, there's almost nothing you can't do.

Lab Experiment:

If you are trying to change something or develop a new habit and it just won't stick: think about which part of the cycle you might be neglecting and ee if you can close the loop.

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Change is Forever Jun 22, 2020

We have come to the final topic on our list of eight things we believe need to be in place in order for real, sustainable change to happen. In this episode, we are tackling the idea that there is no "finish line" to cross. Change is forever.

Key Takeaways:

We aren't simply reaching a finish line, we are changing ourselves. Fundamentally but also dynamically.
The great thing about that is you don't have to abandon one to start another.
This is a great framework to evaluate what you are going to spend your time focussing on - am I willing to do this forever? And if I don't, what will happen if I quit.

Lab Experiment:

Take a look at your biggest focus right now, whether that is contributing to retirement savings, keeping a relationship afloat, losing weight, getting fit, anything and ask yourself - "is this how I want to live my life - forever?" If the answer is no, you have your answer.

But if the answer is yes, then you can ask yourself - "what will happen if I decide to stop this behaviour?" If the answer is, you will lose all your progress and eventually have to start at square one, then you know this isn't a forever behaviour.

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Failure is Awesome Jun 11, 2020

We think that failure shouldn't happen and that if it does, it means that something has gone wrong. But failure is not the opposite of success. It's the path to success.

We do not achieve success when we put sufficient distance between ourselves and our failures. We achieve success when we learn to bring our failures close, examine them with clear-eyed compassion, learn what we can from them, and use them as fuel for future growth.

Don’t fear failure! When a scientist does an experiment, he or she must be open to any result. Some results are good/positive and some are bad/negative but they are all useful data points.

The correct response to failure is to try again. But we don't want to just keep trying the same thing over and over again. We want to try in a slightly different way, informed by the failure.

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Practice Makes Permanent Jun 05, 2020

In this episode, we are moving down the list to #6 (of our eight key behaviours) and discussing why practice is important ... and also why it may be more nuanced than you might have thought (Hint: it's more than just repetition).

Key takeaways:

Practice, practice, practice. Practicing once isn't enough.
But it is more than just repetition, it needs to be deliberate practice.
Don't just practice the action also practice the thoughts and beliefs behind the action.
You can't trick yourself into believing something simply by saying it over and over again.

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Creating Your Support Strategy May 28, 2020

Look at your social circles and habitat. Do the groups you belong to have the identity you want? Does your home or office reflect the identity you want? If not, what can you easily change or adapt to make it more aligned with your vision of your Ideal Self?

Key takeaways:

Hack your habitat to support your vision of yourself.
Spend your time with people who encourage you to become our best self (and avoid the folks who may sabotage you).
Remove obstacles or temptations, instead of counting on willpower.

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The Hidden Cost of Unmet Goals May 18, 2020

It’s exhausting to carry around a goal that we never get any closer to. To have a problem that we can’t solve–or that won’t stay solved. To make the same resolution over and over again.

When you identify something that you want to change - and then don't take action or make progress - you start to pay a sort of psychic tax. Not only do you still have this unmet goal/desire, but you also have the added discomfort of realizing that you're not making progress, not converting intention into action.

Not taking action is not a way to "save energy". It's EXHAUSTING to carry around a goal you never get any closer to.

Key takeaways:
1. Unmet goals get heavier and heavier the longer you carry them around.
2. An unmet goal can be a barrier (or an excuse) to achieving other goals
3. Sometimes, it's wiser to let a goal go than to continue to pay the "interest"

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You Must Have a Plan Apr 29, 2020

Your plan is your map. Without your map, you may make it to your destination but it will take a long time and you will expend a lot more energy and frustration getting there.

Main points in this episode:

Bridging the Intention/Behavior Gap (It’s not just you; everybody struggles with this).
Action Planning: Anticipating how, when, where you will perform the steps. What do you need to put in place?
Coping Planning (just as important but no-one ever talks about it). Anticipating the ways in which things may not go according to plan and being prepared to adapt.

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The Difference Between Goals and Objectives Apr 18, 2020

Well beyond a number on the scale or an amount in your bank account, your objective keeps you moving forward in your journey of change.

Questions we answer during this episode:

Why can’t I just have a plan and do it? Why is a goal or objective so important?
What is the difference between a goal and an objective?
What do I do if I have tried to hit this goal before and failed?
How do short term goals help us reach our ultimate objective?

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The Importance of Curiosity Apr 08, 2020

Both curiosity and openness are essential to creating lasting change. Curiosity goes hand in hand with a willingness and ability to look at thoughts, feelings, actions, outcomes.

Key takeaways in this episode:

The right answer is only right for you (keep in personal).
Don’t get hung up on what you think you should be doing, try stuff.
Ask yourself why this happened so you can learn where the process is breaking down.
Don’t reject an idea until you have tried it on for size.

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A Compelling Reason to Change Apr 02, 2020

Last episode, we outlined the 8 things we believe to be essential for creating sustainable change and in this episode we’re going to take a closer look at the first one on our list. A Reason.

Change is hard and uncomfortable. So, your desire to change yourself has to be greater than your desire to keep things the same. That is where a compelling reason comes in handy.

Takeaways:
1. Your desire to change must be more powerful than staying the same
2. Don’t listen to others, get personal.
3. Forgive yourself for your past missteps, you can change and you can rewrite your outcomes
4. Use your why as your anchor or your guide. When you are faced with a decision, remind yourself why this is important.

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Eight Things to Make Changes that Last Mar 30, 2020

The eight things you need to make any change become lasting and sustainable, in our opinion, are: A reason, Curiosity, An objective, A Plan, Support, Practice, Failure, and Forever.

We'll look at each of these in more depth in future episodes but for now, this is what you need to know.

1. A Compelling and Personal Reason - not the what and how but the WHY.

2. Curiosity - in a nutshell, this is the opposite of waiting for someone to tell you what to do.

3. Objectives - beyond a number on the scale or an amount in your bank account.

4. Plan — this is the opposite of wishing and hoping - this is figuring out the specific steps you need to take and what you need to make this happen.

5. Support - Instead of relying on willpower, you need to create an environment that reduces friction, removes barriers.

6. Practice - It’s not enough to think or do things once. In order to create sustainable change, you have to create ongoing habits, which require repetition and iteration.

7. Failure - we can’t figure out what works without figuring out what doesn’t work.

8. Forever — change changes you! It’s a process, not a product.

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