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04: Nourishing Main Character Energy with Clara Nosek Sep 23, 2022

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This week I’m speaking to Clara Nosek, AKA Your Dietitian BFF. Outpatient dietitian by day, nutrition influencer-disruptor by night. This episode is all about getting to know the ‘new’ you post baby and figuring out this new identity; and finding your main character energy. We touch on so many other topics along the way - pandemic babies, the yes/and of pregnancy, the weird shit our bodies do, the toxic independence mothers are expected to perform. Unsolicited advice, finding your mom gang, sanctimommy culture, the overlap between diet culture and the pressure to be a perfect parent, and how the pipeline of perfect ‘mom’ to food-fear-mongering is a slip and slide. It’s a good time. LFG.Can I Have Another Snack? is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.Find out more about Clara here.Follow her work on Instagram here.Follow Laura on Instagram here. Here’s the transcript in full.Clara Nosek And then there's also like, once you give birth, you are not who you were before. Right? are not who you were when you were pregnant. And so now who are, you have no idea. And so there's that trying to wrestle with that new you while also taking care of this other person, while also dealing with the pressure of like, okay, now I want to be like the perfect mom. And then while also like, like dealing with who am I to my partner, who am I to myself who am I to my friends? And I think yeah, like that's, it's weird. There's no books on that. Laura Thomas Hey, welcome to Can I Have Another Snack podcast, where I'm asking my guests who or what they are nourishing right now and who or what is nourishing them? I'm Laura Thomas, an anti diet Registered nutritionist and author of the Can I Have Another Snack newsletter? Okay, so if last week's episode with Christy was a tear jerker, then this week's episode will make you laugh your ass off. I'm joined by your dietician BFF herself, Clara Nosek. Clara is an outpatient dietitian by day and a nutrition influencer disrupter by night, even though I'm pretty sure she would hate me calling her that. Clara is the creator of big sister nutrition or she'll tell you how she sees it, but she definitely won't tell you what to do. We talked about so many things on this episode. Like there's almost nothing that we don't touch on. We're talking about pandemic babies, the yes and of pregnancy and the weird shit that our bodies do. The toxic independence mothers are expected to perform. We talked about unsolicited advice, finding your mom gang, sanctimommy culture and the overlap between diet culture and the pressure to be a perfect parent. And how the pipeline of perfect mum to food fear mongering is a slip and slide. But what I think this episode is really about is getting to know the new you post baby and figuring out this new identity and finding your main character energy. And this conversation wouldn't be complete without a deep cultural analysis of reality TV, and why Clara loves it so hard. So after we recorded this episode, Clara sent me a side note she wanted to add about this conversation. So I'm just going to read the whole email now. Clara said I just had a thought that perhaps could use more context RE: The perfect mom to food fear mongering anti science pipeline, and that yes, one critical thinking and slash understanding is needed but also two the nuance and context of white supremacy and the creation of distrust, and the roots in how white people have treated/experimented on communities of colour. So from a black indigenous POC lens, there is historical evidence to dust distrust mainstream slash white standards, and white people who benefit and perpetuate and believe in the distrust, but can't be bothered to explore why it's there in the first place, or the role of white supremacy plays in informing those thoughts are problematic. And just to add to Clara's note here, I was also thinking about how science gets weaponized against communities of colour and marginalised communities to gaslight, their lived experience and undermine cultural medicines, for example. So just wanted to give that context to our conversation. I also wanted to add that guests on kind of have another sack are paid for their time on their labour for being here. This is not the norm in the podcast world, I think I've been paid maybe once for doing a podcast in my life. And I've done a lot of podcasts. But it's work. And that's why I want to make sure that the guests that appear on Can I Have Another Snack get paid. And the only way that this is possible is through the support of the people listening. So that's you guys, by supporting this work by becoming a subscriber. So I wanted to say thank you if you've already subscribed, all of this was just to say that Clara has decided to donate her honorarium for being here to Mississippi Rapid Response Coalition, who are working to bring relief and clean water to communities who need it most in Jackson, Mississippi. I'm also going to link to that fund so if you'd like to make your own contribution, then you can just click the link in the transcript for this episode. And while we are talking about subscriptions, I just wanted to let you know that you are listening to the long edit of this podcast episode. From October I'll be publishing a shorter edit here in your podcast player on a special long edit for paid subscribers of the Can I Have Another Snack newsletter. As a little bonus for supporting my work. Alongside weekly discussion threads, my dear Laura column, and loads of other fun perks, you can head to laurathomas.substack.com to subscribe, it's five pounds a month or 50 pounds for the year. And if that's inaccessible to you, for whatever reason, please email hello@laurathomasphd.co.uk for a comp subscription. I'm keeping all the content on Can I Have Another Snack free for the month of September and turning on the paid community features and paid subscriber only columns from October. If you value this work, you can help keep it sustainable by becoming a paid subscriber. And last thing, if you enjoyed this episode, I would really really appreciate it if you could support me by rating and reviewing it in your podcast player, and maybe even sharing it with a friend. It makes such a huge difference to a new podcast, I can't even tell you. So thank you for rating and reviewing. You can also find a full transcript of this episode over on substack. Again, that's laurathomas.substack.com. And I would really love it if you wanted to leave a comment over there to let us know what you thought of this conversation. And to keep the conversation going. All right team, here's Clara.Laura Thomas Alright, Clara, who or what are you nourishing right now?Clara Nosek You know, I've had this thought a lot, recently, probably not framed in that way. But like, currently, this body I'm in now. When you're out of pregnancy, still sleep is questionable. At best. Also, this like role I'm in now as like an outpatient dietitian and learning the ins and outs of working in the medical industrial complex, and also be being in my 30s. Right as a cis het woman, female? What does that mean? What does that look like? Right? Because when I was a little kid, I always felt like when your thirty you're ancient and now that I'm here, I feel like I'm just starting. But it's also like now with pandemic and how that has reshaped the way people live their lives. Some people, most people, I would say, not all people just trying to figure all that out. So I am nourishing this ever evolving person.Laura Thomas Hmm. So many like little threads that I want to talk on there. But I suppose the one that feels kind of really relevant for this podcast. And when they I guess they all are, to one extent or another but this piece around sounded like you're sort of just familiarising yourself with your body as it is after having two babies. Can you tell us a little bit about that experience and sort of what that process looks like for you?Clara Nosek Yeah. So in pregnancy, so pre pregnancy, right? You have this idea of what being pregnant is like. Laura Thomas And it's way better.Clara Nosek Oh, yeah, it's amazing. It's all unicorns and glitter. Laura Thomas I was getting so many pregnancy massages in my pregnancy fantasy. And in reality we were in lockdown.Clara Nosek Yeah, oh my God, even that, okay. So that alone, right. So, pregnancy in itself can be very isolating. And same with like that first year of motherhood. And like, compound that with pandemic like you are on an island. And I think you there's like this idea that, like, once you get pregnant, you should just know, you should know what to do. You should know what decisions to make. And so you don't really want to ask for help. Because I think that that that kind of lends itself to this idea. Like maybe I don't know everything. Maybe this doesn't come naturally. Maybe this is not an innate thing that I possess. So then you're like, that's the beginning of like, the mom guilt like what am I doing? Why don't I know what I'm doing? Everyone else seems to have it together. But when in reality, like nobody knows what they're doing nobody, like all the parenting books, all of those things. It's kind of like this very vague idea, concept of like, what it's like, but it's never anything. Like what you're experiencing. And I find that when you start to really talk about those things openly that people are like, yes, that is exactly it. Right? Like nobody talks about, like your nipples get really big, your armpits get really dark, you know, your body changes, obviously, but no one talks about like, there's a smell, right? When you after you give birth, you feel like you stink. And I like I thought I was going crazy. And I'm like, I think I smell. I smell something. And it's not, I don't know where it's coming from, but it's definitely coming from me. And I would like shower and still smell. And they're like, Oh, it's so that the baby can find you. And you're like, Why didn't anyone tell me that? Oh, or like, what else? When you're like in the midst of pregnancy, nobody warns you about how juicy your vagina gets? Do you know what I mean, you know exactly what I'm talking about. Like your labia just become, like very labia, like extra. And it's like, oh, that's new. But I don't remember reading that.Laura Thomas I'm just like getting so many flashbacks as you're talking like, I got restless leg syndrome when I was in my first trimester.Clara Nosek Oh my god. Yes. And like, nobody talks about those things. And I feel like, you know, your hair. You know, obviously, your hair gets different. Sometimes it's shiny, or sometimes it gets curlierLaura Thomas Mine was always just shit. So anyway.Clara Nosek Nevermind, so we won't talk about that. So no, totally not that not your hair. But I think that there's a lot of things like shrouded in mystery. That take away and I get right. Being pregnant is a gift. Not everyone. And it's a privilege and all these things. But I think that all and so there's like a shying away from talking about the not so pretty side. But I'm also of the mind that I was like, yes and right. Yes, Pregnancy is a gift. It's this beautiful thing. It's a privilege and not. And the reality is not everyone who wants to get pregnant can get pregnant and you know, X, Y and Z Yes. To all those experiences, those are valid and realities for many people. But also, yes, and and it's, it's not all cupcakes and roses, and all those other things. And it's like, if you're not ready to process any trauma that you have embodied through life, it's gonna come, it's gonna come either whether you're pregnant, whether that baby comes or whether you're like, raising this tiny human. Just every Yeah. And on top of that, you're tired. You're under slept. Maybe you're not eating as much. You like literally just in a brain fog for like the first two years. Laura Thomas Yeah, seriously, everyone is like, I don't know. I think there's like this imaginary cut off line at like six months, where suddenly everything gets better. And I'm like, There's no fucking way goes on years. You, you touched on something that I thought was like, so important, and I'm just kind of trying to figure out like, I think I think I know what you meant, but I just want to make sure I'm understanding you. You kind of like, all of these things that we're talking about. And, you know, just like all the stuff that happens to your body, and how it's kind of shrouded in mystery, and like, we don't talk about it. And I think, you know, we don't ask for help around it. And I think that that kind of extends into just motherhood as well. This kind of, like toxic independence. Yeah, I don't know if you've thought about that. But what do you think that's about? I mean, I have some theories, but I'm really curious to hear what you think.Clara Nosek I think it's that expectation that you should know what to do. And it's like this So it's the expectation that you should know what to do, and that you should be making the right decision. But also, there is this experience that so you know, when you like, are just living life and someone gives you advice unprovoked. And if you don't do what they say, it's almost like a personal assault on that person. I think that same phenomenon happens in motherhood. But instead of it being like, kind of this thing that you experience, and it goes on, it's like compounding. So if you don't do if you don't raise your child in a similar way, to that of someone close to you. And they're like, I did this, this worked for me. So you should do this too. And you don't often times there is almost like, this defensiveness. And on top of now you try to figure out what's best for you and your baby. It's a ‘How can I manage this relationship with this other adult so that I can also mother their feelings?’Laura Thomas Yeah. Clara Nosek And so you're doing all those things. And it just gets to a point where you're like, I'm not going to, I'm just like, not going to talk to anyone about it. Because it's not helpful. Like, I'm sorry, that you don't like the response that I have given you, you don't, it's not in alignment with what you've done. It doesn't detract from the way you did it. Because that is your reality, that's what you did. That's what you thought was best for you and your baby at the time. And if what I'm doing is not in alignment with that, it's not an attack to you as a mother, but more so in support of me, becoming the mother that I want to be. So you're thinking that, like, thank you so much for that wonderful piece of information. But also, and I'm going to do it this other way. And, you know, you kind of avoid, you just try to avoid that conflict, because like, you know, you're, you're, you're tired, you're sleepy, your emotions are everywhere, hormonally, you're still recovering. There's like all these things that are changing. And on top of that, now you have to process a big feeling that someone else is having with them. And so there's like, this hyper independence is like, No, I'm just gonna figure it out myself. Because, yeah, like, this is too much like, I can'…

Full show notes at the publisher

03: Nourishing Change with Christy Harrison Sep 16, 2022

Show notes

When Christy Harrison posted on her Instagram that “giving birth broke me open in every way imaginable” I knew I needed to ask her about it. The anti-diet dietitian and author of Anti-Diet and the forthcoming Wellness Trap tells me about the heartache and joy, tenderness and vulnerability of becoming a new parent. This is the conversation I wish I’d had as a new parent. We also hear about Christy’s exciting new book, and how the wellness industry can be especially dangerous for new parents. And, hear Christy's thoughts on the idea that we are ‘born intuitive eaters’ as she navigates milk feeding and introducing solids with her daughter. This is such an enriching conversation, but ngl, it gets heavy in places. Have some tissues handy, and if hearing about traumatic experiences related to birth isn’t for you today, then give this one a miss.Find out more about Christy here.Follow her work on Instagram here.Follow Laura on Instagram here.Here’s the transcript in full.Christy Harrison You know, again, sort of feeling like giving birth like broke me open, it's like, it's, it kind of released some of that anger and made me like more soft and vulnerable and, you know, just less, less angry and less kind of, you know, I don't have such tightly balled up fists anymore, even when I'm critiquing structures and systems that are harmful.Laura Thomas Hey, Welcome to Can I Have Another Snack podcast, where I'm asking my guests who are what they're nourishing right now and who or what is nourishing them. I'm Laura Thomas, an anti diet Registered nutritionist and author of the Can I Have Another Snack newsletter. Today I'm talking to anti diet dietician Christy Harrison. Many of you will know Christy already. She is host of the Food Psych podcast, author of Anti Diet and the forthcoming book, The Wellness Trap. This conversation is one that I've really been looking forward to sharing. Christy tells us all about what life has been like as a new mother who is nourishing two babies, her human baby and her second book The Wellness Trap. Christy gives us a little peek inside the new book sharing some of the research that she's uncovered about the wild wild west of the wellness world. And how a lot of the really harmful wellness dis- and misinformation really capitalises from parents who are just trying to do the best for their kids. We also talk about her experiences with milk feeding, and then going on to introduce solids with her baby and how that has made her reconsider some of the things she says about intuitive eating being a birthright. I think you'll be really interested in hearing what she has to say about that. And finally, I asked Christy about a post that she shared on her Instagram, which said, giving birth broke me open in every way imaginable. And also, this was a really tough and pretty emotional conversation. It felt like the conversation that I wish I had heard about birth, rather than the conversations about whether you should, I don't know, shave or wax, which are real articles that I've seen in parenting publications in 2022. But anyway, just a heads up that we do talk about traumatic themes in this episode around birth and the early weeks of recovery and medical trauma. So if you aren't up to hearing them right now, then I trust you to do whatever you need to do to look after yourself. We'll get to Christy in just a moment. But first of all, I wanted to let you know that you are listening to the long edit of this episode. From October I'll be publishing a shorter edit here in your podcast player and a special long edit for paid subscribers have the Can I Have Another Snack podcast as a little bonus for supporting my work alongside weekly discussion threads, my dear Laura column, and loads of other fun perks on Can I Have Another Snack newsletter, you can head to laurathomas.substack.com to subscribe. It's five pounds a month or 50 pounds for the year. And if that's inaccessible for you, please email hello@laurathomasphd.co.uk for a comp subscription. I'm keeping all the content on Can I Have Another Snack free for the month of September, and turning on the paid community features and paid subscriber only columns from October. If you value this work, you can help keep it sustainable by becoming a paid subscriber. And last thing if you enjoy this episode, I would really really appreciate it if you could support me by rating and reviewing it in your podcast player and maybe even sharing it with a friend. It makes a huge difference to a new podcast. You can find a full transcript of this episode over on substack. Again, that's laurathomas.substack.com. And I would really love it if you wanted to leave a comment over there to let us know what you thought of the episode. And to keep the conversation going. Alright team, here's Christy.Laura Thomas Christy, I'd love it if you could tell us who or what you are nourishing right now.Christy Harrison That's such an interesting question for me at this moment because I feel like I'm nourishing two very important and very different things. The number one being my baby. I'm breastfeeding and also giving her solid foods and so like really literally nourishing a human being, you know, and it's like incredible and overwhelming sometimes and feels like a huge responsibility and, you know is so fraught in some ways with diet and wellness culture, as I'm sure we'll get into and so, but it's also like beautiful and just such a beautiful bonding experience. And I feel really lucky to be able to breastfeed because, I mean, many, many people aren't. And I didn't think I was going to be able to at first because I had a traumatic birth experience and wasn't able to breastfeed right away. And so the fact that it, like, ended up happening at all is kind of a miracle. And so it's been like this beautiful bonding journey of feeding her and just getting to spend that time cuddling and you know, having time together, but just in the past couple of weeks, she started biting. So got a tooth. And it's like, it's brought up so much, because, you know, it hurts, it scared me, I sort of reacted, and then she reacted and cried, and, you know, and then I got scared and started to feel really anxious every time I was feeding. And so this beautiful bond that we've had that I don't think I even fully appreciated while I was in the easy part. And, you know, sometimes I'd be like, looking at my phone and like, doing other things while feeding her like, suddenly I'm like, no, like, Why did I spend all that time, you know, not paying full attention, not being fully in this moment, when now it's going to be taken away from me, you know, potentially soon, in a way that feels like it's too early. And yet, you know, we have fortunately been able to consult with a lactation consultant, and she's helped a lot in terms of, you know, figuring out a better position and better strategies to kind of alleviate the teething pains so that she's not biting on my boob. And so, you know, it continues, our breastfeeding journey continues, but it's, it's starting to feel like this precious thing that, you know, the sand is slipping through my hands of the time that we have together.Laura Thomas No, I just, I really, that resonates so much, because we also went through the biting stage. But we were able to overcome it. Two years, we're still going. But I, I hear what you're saying as well, just in that, you know, that those, I don't want to over romanticise breastfeeding, because I feel like that's a danger that we can run as well. But I do kind of, do try and soak in as much of it as I can, when I'm, you know, when I'm able to, there are definitely times that I just want to check out and scroll on my phone. And at the same time, you know, he's getting older, I'm trying to sort of let him lead the way in terms of weaning. And then there, there are days where he just doesn't seem that interested. And I'm like, oh, have we had our last feed? And then we had a spate of illness recently, and he was just like, glued to me, just so attached. And then it's almost like the opposite end of the spectrum, where I'm like, Okay, are you ready to ween? So yeah, I, there's, there's just so much emotion tied up in breastfeeding, which is kind of what I'm hearing from you is that it's just this, there's a constant tension with it.Christy Harrison Totally, so much emotion and so much, you know, I didn't, I kind of naively thought, I guess that like, once we were over the really hard part of the beginning, where I didn't have enough milk, and we weren't even sure if it was gonna happen. And I wanted to try, but I was also sort of like one foot in like formula. And just like, you know, if we have to do formula, it's fine. I'm fine with that. But wanting to, like, give it a shot with breastfeeding, you know, once we got through that, and it was going strong, and we had our latching down and our positions, and she was getting more efficient at feeding and stuff, I was kind of like, okay, like, you know, this is how it's going to be for the next, you know, however many months and I'd love to get to a year and like, we'll see how it goes, whatever. And so I didn't sort of reckon with the emotions, I think for a while, you know, it was probably a good four or five months there where it was just kind of easy, smooth sailing, which again, like so lucky, because I know, a lot of people have ongoing struggles with it even at that point. But then now to be sort of coming back to like, okay, like, what is it going to look like to potentially wean her to formula or to stop feeding as much now pumping some time, you know, parts of the day, and just like thinking about all those logistics and dealing with the emotions that come up and knowing that like, hormonally too there're shifts that happen when you, you know, shift over to even pumping more and I'm starting to kind of feel that and I'm like, Okay, how much of this is just sort of hormonally, my, my body is kind of telling me to be more sensitive or making me more sensitive and how much of this is like, you know, just kind of the, the natural emotions of like, something beautiful coming to an end and something that like, you know, was always a little challenging too in some ways. It's just yeah, there's just a lot. A lot of mixed emotions.Laura Thomas Yeah, yeah. No, I, we also had a challenging start, and my supply was low, my baby was in the NICU for two weeks, and the support or lack thereof, I suppose around feeding in the hospital just really left its mark. And, you know, we went through the rigmarole as well of lactation consultants and getting help. And even I would say, it took us a good three, maybe four months to really get the hang of breastfeeding. And, and then, you know, it's almost as soon as you've got the hang of it, you're like onto something else. Oh, while we're weaning now, or like we're introducing solids now, and or, you know, I'm having to pump more, it's just such a, or there's a tooth, there's just a constant roller coaster of, of emotions. And I feel like that's just a perfect metaphor for parenting in general. It's just up and down constantly. Christy you said at the beginning that you have two things that you're nurturing at the moment. So what was the the other thing? Christy Harrison Yeah, so the other thing is, it's also big and just but very different, you know, much more intellectual, which is my second book, I'm working on revisions for that now. And I wrote it while I was pregnant, like pretty much except for the first month of writing the manuscript or something I was pregnant the whole time. And then, you know, turned it in, went on maternity leave, came back and got revisions, and now working on those and they're due in a week. So it's actually like, down to the wire. And I'm feeling pretty good about the structure of it. And it's kind of more fine tuning at this point. But that's been a whole journey as well, because the book is about wellness culture, and it's called The Wellness Trap. And I look into, you know, how, in the my first book Anti Diet, I posited that diet, or that wellness culture is the new guise of diet culture that, you know, diet culture has cloaked itself as wellness, in order to kind of evade people's growing suspicion about diets and sort of doneness with diets. And, you know, diets now say they're about wellness and lifestyle change and all this stuff. But in researching the second book, I found, you know, I sort of always suspected there's so much more to it, that it's beyond just diet culture. And then in fact, there's like this symbiotic relationship, I think, between wellness culture and diet culture, where diet culture uses wellness as its cloak and shield against criticism, and to sort of make itself seem more important, because now it's not just about, you know, mere vanity, but it's about this noble goal of health and wellness. But also, wellness culture has really incorporated the tenets of diet culture, kind of wholesale into its own belief system. And I traced the history of that. It was really interesting to see like where that came from, because the first use of the term wellness in the late 1950s by this man Halbert Dunn, who was a public health professional, was actually very similar in some ways to like what I would consider well being and sort of talked so much more about mental health and social relationships and the importance of of those things. And, you know, there's almost nothing about food, other than to say that we need enough of it in his in his major writings, his book, and there was, you know, a tiny, fat phobic statement, but it was sort of, you know, pretty minor in the grand scheme of things kind of just talking more about the effects of fat. And, you know, so the original idea of wellness really wasn't built on diet culture, I think in the way that it is now. And I think the reasons for that shift had to do with a lot that happened in the 1970s around kind of the hippie food movement and sort of the emergence of like naturopathy and other alternative medicine, other alternative forms of medicine, kind of coming a little bit more into the mainstream. And, you know, people who were influenced by that, doctors who were influenced by that, sort of taking up the mantle of wellness, discovering this guy, Halbert Dunn's work from a decade and a half before and being like, yes, wellness, we love Halbert Dunn we're going to proselytise his ideas to the public. And yet, like really twisting them and infusing them with so much diet culture. And so that sort of became the version of wellness that that grew and went mainstream, and that now is, you know, really kind of has really taken over. And so that, you know, there's that piece of it, where diet culture is really built into wellness culture now, but there's also so much more beyond diet culture that is sort of related like clean beauty or clean housekeeping right this this worry about what's in your products and what you're putting into or next to your body and sort of irrational or maybe not irrational, but over over blown, overhyped kind of fears about chemicals and products. And, you know, this sort of fomenting of fear among the public in order to sell products. And then there's also the piece of the internet, which I think is like the most fascinating part of my book and research and has just h…

Full show notes at the publisher

02: Nourishing Neurodiversity with Naureen Hunani Sep 09, 2022

Show notes

This week I’m talking to a wonderful teacher and colleague - Naureen Hunani. I’ve known Naureen in a professional capacity for a while now, so it was cool to get to sit down with her and talk about some more personal stuff. Naureen and I talk about finding out that you’re neurodivergent later-in-life, the invalidation and gaslighting of being called ‘highly functioning’. Naureen tells us how she nourishes a family who have different needs when it comes to food and feeding, and how she is rejecting expectations that feeding has to look a certain way. And then we get into what it’s like to be a highly sensitive person who feels things others are feeling. And how being a highly feeling person under capitalism inevitably leads to burnout. Oh and of course, how she’s nourishing herself. This is such a special conversation - it just feels really restorative.Can I Have Another Snack? is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.Find out more about Naureen hereFollow her work on Instagram hereFollow Laura on Instagram hereHere’s the transcript in full.Naureen Hunani I think a lot of that, for me, comes from the fact that I had to really truly embrace and accept other parts of their development, right? When it comes to language or motor differences. And so we can't really pick and choose right, like, to me, you know, if I say I'm going to fully accept and embrace who my children are like, I cannot be selective in terms of which parts I'm going to embrace and which parts I'm not going to embrace, right?Laura Thomas Hey, and welcome to the Can I Have Another Snack? podcast, where I'm asking my guests who or what they're nourishing right now and who or what is nourishing them. I'm Laura Thomas, an anti-diet Registered Nutritionist and author of the Can I Have Another Snack? newsletter. Today I'm talking to one of my colleagues and teachers, Naureen Hunani. Naureen is someone I've known for a little while now in a professional capacity and whom I've had the privilege of learning a lot from, so it was really cool to sit down with her and learn more about her on a more personal level. Naureen is very well known and loved in the world of responsive feeding. But for anyone who doesn't hang out in that space, Naureen is a multiply neurodivergent, registered dietitian with over 17 years of experience. She is the founder of RDs for neurodiversity, and neurodiversity informed online continuing educational platform for dieticians, and helping professionals. She has a private practice in Montreal, Canada, where she treats children, adults and families struggling with various feeding and eating challenges through a trauma informed way, inclusive and anti oppressive approach. This is such a special conversation, it just feels really restorative. Naureen and I talk about finding out that you're neurodivergent later in life, the invalidation and gaslighting of being called highly functioning. Naureen tells us about how she nourishes a family who have different needs when it comes to food and feeding, and how she is rejecting expectations that feeding has to look a certain way. And then we get into what it's like to be a highly sensitive person who feels things that others are feeling and how being a highly feeling person under capitalism inevitably leads to burnout. This is a really rich and meaningful conversation. I really hope you get a lot from it. But just before we get to Naureen, I wanted to let you know that you are listening to the long edit of this episode. From October, I'll be publishing a shorter edit here in your podcast player feed, and a special longer edit for paid subscribers of the Can I Have Another Snack podcast, just as a little bonus for supporting my work. You'll also get weekly discussion threads, my dear Laura column, and lots of other fun perks. You can head to laurathomas.substack.com to subscribe. It's just five pounds a month or 50 pounds for the year. And if that is inaccessible to you please email hello@laurathomasphd.co.uk for a comp subscription. I'm keeping all the content on Can I Have Another Snack free for the month of September, and turning on the paid community features and paid subscriber-only columns from October. If you value this work you can help keep it sustainable by becoming a paid subscriber. And last thing, if you enjoyed this episode, I would really really appreciate it if you could support me by rating and reviewing in your podcast player, and maybe even sharing it with a friend. It makes such a huge difference to a new podcast. You can also find a full transcript of this episode over on substack again at laurathomas.substack.com. And I would really love it if you wanted to leave a comment over there to let us know what you thought of this episode and to keep the conversation going. All right, team. Here's Naureen. Laura Thomas I wanted to start out by asking you who or what are you nourishing right now?Naureen Hunani I really love this question. And you know, the first thing that comes I guess to my mind is like my role in nourishing my family. Right? So who am I nourishing? And, you know, I think about being a mother to two neurodivergent children, you know, obviously food is there right? That's a huge part of parenting and one of the probably the toughest jobs you know, feeding a family can be difficult for a variety of reasons. But I'm also thinking about, like you know, different ways I nourish my children when it comes to nourishing their curiosity and their development and just growth in general. Right? It's interesting because I have always been a very sensitive person. So putting others first because I just feel a lot. And that's, you know, very, I guess common for a lot of us, you know, neurodivergent moms like, we just feel so much. So what that does, sometimes it's just you want to, you know, prioritise other people's needs, because you feel so much of what the person is going through their pain, or suffering and all of their needs. And sometimes what happens is that, you know, we don't prioritise our needs, and that's something I've been exploring a lot in the last little while is, you know, how can I nourish myself better, and you know, that it's something that I'm still kind of exploring, this is really new to me, you know, prioritising my needs, and you know, what they are, and giving myself the permission to be who I am and nourish different parts of who I am, you know, my different identities. So I am a South Asian, immigrant woman living in North America, I'm a late diagnosed, you know, multiply neurodivergent person. I also have a non-apparent, physical disability. So, you know, figuring out all of those parts, and of course, also how they interact with my work as well, like being a dietitian, and working in a profession where the majority of dietitians don't look like me. And so yeah, like, how do I best nourish the humans I work with, my family, but also like, you know, meet my needs, nourish my passions. Yeah.Laura Thomas I think that's such a complex and tricky thing to try and unpack and figure out how to do, particularly when you're a parent, and I'm sort of speaking from my own experiences here. And I'm curious to talk to other parents, particularly mothers about, you know, they had a similar experience were when they became a parent, and I know your kids are a little older now than mine who's two but there is a sort of experience of, I don't want to say losing your identity, because I think that's a really problematic narrative but there is the shift this huge shift in identity. And, you know, I'm hearing you talk about how your identity sits at the intersection of lots of marginalised identities as well. Hmm. I'm just curious to hear your experiences of that transition to motherhood to parenthood, and how that sort of interacted with all of these other identities. And yeah how do you figure that out, because I guess, ultimately, selfishly, Naureen, I'm trying to figure that out.Naureen Hunani And aren't we all? Are we all trying to figure that one out? Honestly, and this is like, I feel like I love this question. It feels like therapy. Honestly, it is, you know, I think that, you know, for me, and I can speak about my experience, like becoming a mother, like triggered a whole bunch of stuff, things that were just kind of tucked away from childhood and, you know, my body changing and also, you know, being neurodivergent, like, I was able to manage somewhat, okay, you know, masking and trying hard enough, and just, you know, doing my day to day stuff, but then becoming a mother, it's like, wow, like the executive functioning, you know, differences really started to show up in the multitasking and all of that, and then also questioning, you know, when you look, I have come from a family of neurodivergent you know, folks, many of them are not diagnosed. And I, you know, I find that advocating for my children who are neurodivergent, you know, that that is also very, very difficult when, when we live in this society, so I feel like being a mother, like becoming a mother really pushed me to grow and really explore those pieces that are just kind of there but not taking care of as a human. And I feel like, you know, also coming from a lot of trauma and childhood trauma, trying to raise my children in a way that aligns with my values. You know, it also helps me heal my inner child, right? Doing things that I do for my kids and giving them permission to be who they are. It is so healing. It is so incredibly healing and it has been incredibly difficult as well because growth is painful, right? And yeah, you do change like your identity, who you are, you know, your priorities like, like, they change a lot of changes in very short period of time in my children have, you know, they really pushed me to look at things differently, my work has changed completely, I was ready to exit my career, you know, in a way, I feel like my children kind of saved that, you know, because of their feeding differences and my interest in, you know, learning more about feeding differences and how to support my kids, and then a, you know, started to support more and more families in my practice with feeding differences. So it's been a tiring journey, but a wonderful journey for sure.Laura Thomas I mean, I'm personally very grateful to your kids for kind of, you know, nudging you down that path, because I've learned so much from you, professionally, and I know that, you know, your career pivoted towards your, you know, working with neurodivergent kids and families. And yeah, I've learned so much from you. So I'm grateful for that. So many, like threads that I want to pick up on. But so just so I'm kind of following things in, in my own mind. So you said you were late diagnosed multiply neurodivergent. So was that prior to becoming a mother? It sounds like it was, but I just kind of was trying to put that together?Naureen Hunani No, it wasn't. So really, what ended up happening was when my son was two, about two years old, we felt like he was developing differently. And we went to, you know, get a professional diagnosis. And then after that my daughter was born. And she's also neurodivergent. And then, you know, I started kind of questioning, you know, my own identity. And I've always felt very different. Even as a child, I've had very unique interests, compared to other kids. And so I've known this about myself that I am very different. But I didn't really know, you know, what that was, until very recently, so just a couple of years ago, I went, you know, to get a diagnosis and get some support there. And, you know, I also want to mention that, you know, a lot of what I have learned is not necessarily coming from, you know, providers or people who do assessments. It's really, from the neurodiversity community, right? So moms that are in the neurodivergent community talking about their different challenges, and like, oh, yeah, I can relate, I can relate there. Oh, yeah, so. So this is something like really, that I explored after my children were diagnosed. Because we know that, you know, typically neurodivergence runs in families. So it is something that, you know, my children have inherited from me, most likely, but yeah, so that's, that's what led me to, to kind of explore a little bit more. Yeah. Laura Thomas Yeah, so they kind of tipped you off, that something might be going on for you that that led you to, and what I hear is you kind of touching on the complexities of getting a diagnosis as,Naureen Hunani Oh! Yeah, that is a really, you know, it is very difficult, especially for, for women to get a diagnosis. You know, I actually was diagnosed with ADHD, like a while back, and I was seeing a therapist at that time, who totally dismissed that diagnosis, and was like, no, no, this is probably not right. Because, I mean, you went to school, and you did very well in school, and you went to, you know, a good University and graduated with distinction. And that just is not possible that you have ADHD. And so, you know, it was like, over the years, and then so I just kind of let go of that for years. I'm like, No, you know, what, no, like this is me, I'm like, I'm going to embrace this identity. And, yeah, like, it's very difficult to actually even get a diagnosis, because a lot of the studies were done in, you know, boys. Neurodivergence looks very different in women. You know, we mask, we have a tendency to mask socially, we pick up on a lot more of those cues. And, you know, compared to, to boys and men in general, and so like, it's very difficult. If you are married or in a relationship and if you are working or have a career, or if you have children, then it's like, no, you know, you cannot be neurodivergent because you're quote unquote, functioning okay, whatever that means.Laura Thomas I hear this story so often from friends where they notice that their kids are developing differently and go to get them checked out, the kids ultimately get a diagnosis as neurodivergent. And then the parent, usually the mother starts kind of questioning what might be going on for them. And they go to the doctor, and they're like, Well, no, you're too high functioning.Naureen Hunani I know. Exactly. You know, like, what does that mean? Like, what does that even mean? Right, like, you're too high functioning, like functioning labels, we know are assigned by how others view, you know, neurodivergent people, it's such an invalidating experience, because I was struggling a lot, honestly.Laura Thomas And can we just talk about the trauma of living in capitalism and how you are forced, you have no choice but to be productive.Naureen Hunani Exactly, right. So surviving under capitalism looks different for different people, depending on your, your, the resources, you have access to care, you know, resiliency, like I mean, it looks different for different people. And I remember, you know, always like having difficulties and struggling and it's not like, I didn't struggle in school, I mean, I, I just worked really, really, really, really hard. So hard that like, I barely went out, you know, so hard that I could barely sleep, I had severe anxiety. But when you look at just the end result, well this person is doing well, in school, they don't need help, but like it, you know, it took everything out of me to be able to graduate, it was a lot of work. And work that, you know, like, extra work that other people didn't have to do, you know. And even like a mother like when…

Full show notes at the publisher

01: Nourishing Myself with Laxmi Hussain Sep 02, 2022

Show notes

Our very first guest is artist Laxmi Hussain whose stunning work depicts the softness of bodies and the tenderness of early motherhood. We talk about her postpartum experience, and how, even as a mother of three, her instincts were undermined and gaslit. We talk about how new mothers (especially pandemic mums) are repeatedly let down and dismissed. Laxmi shares her experiences of sharing her studio with a toddler and how he has become part of her process. We then go on to discuss her family’s food culture and her own relationship to food and appetite. Lastly, we consider all the ways that our kids are told there is something fundamentally wrong with them, and how we as parents can give them the tools to develop resilience to these messages.Find out more about Laxmi hereFollow her work on Instagram hereBuy her art here (and buy one for me while you’re at it!)Follow Laura on Instagram hereHere’s the transcript in full.Laxmi Hussain I hope that's the same message my children will understand. And not just for my daughter, but for my sons, too, that women's bodies aren't a particular shape or size or height, or, you know, they're so different. And I want them to know that that's normal. Because it has to, we have to feel that way. Like, I know that I probably won't change it hugely in my lifetime. But if I can change it for them, then I think that's a big deal. And hopefully, that will carry on forward.Laura Thomas Hey, and welcome to the Can I Have Another Snack? podcast, where I'm asking my guests who or what they're nourishing right now and who or what is nourishing them. I'm Laura Thomas, an anti-diet Registered Nutritionist and author of the Can I Have Another Snack? newsletter. My very first guest is artist Laxmi Hussain. Laxmi has been drawing for as long as she can remember, as a child in London, she would lose hours after school, sketching on the counter in her dad's corner shop. But it's only since the birth of her first child that Laxmi has turned her passion into a profession. Reinspired by the irrepressible joy and creativity shown by her children, she picked up the pencil once again, finding artwork to be a valuable means of reclaiming her own identity amid the emotional learnings of motherhood. Her inspiration comes from the forms encountered in everyday life -- from the body, the tenderness of motherhood, the natural shapes of the body as a vessel, and its evolution throughout life. Working in several different media, usually at night, Laxmi is driven by experimentation, constantly exploring new techniques, and searching for the shapes and subjects they express best. I was so thrilled that Laxmi agreed to be on the podcast. Her depictions of early motherhood and bodies stuck together have felt so validating for me personally as I navigate the relationship with my body postpartum. They offer relief from the idealised images we see of postpartum bodies, while still being so tender and beautiful. I love everything that Laxmi has to say in this episode, from just how unapologetically she loves being with her kids, to learning about her family's food cultures and her passion for food. Through our conversations about how pregnant and postpartum people are gaslit and dismissed at every turn, to how we can prepare our kids for a world that teaches them their bodies are wrong, and that they don't belong. I think you're gonna really love this conversation. Before we get to Laxmi, I just wanted to let you know that you're listening to the long edit of this episode. And from October, I'll be publishing a shorter edit here in your podcast player, and a special long edit for paid subscribers as a little bonus for supporting my work. Alongside weekly discussion threads, my dear Laura column, and loads of other fun perks, you can head to laurathomas.substack.com to subscribe, it's five pounds a month or 50 pounds for the year. And if that is inaccessible to you, for any reason, please just email hello@laurathomasphd.co.uk for a comp subscription. Before we get to Laxmi, I have a quick favour to ask you. If you enjoy this episode, I would really appreciate it if you could support me by rating and reviewing in your podcast player, and maybe even sharing with a friend. It makes a huge difference to a new podcast. You can find a full transcript of this episode over on substack again at laurathomas.substack.com. And I would really love it if you wanted to leave a comment over there to let us know what you thought of this conversation and to keep the conversation going. I'll also put some pictures of Laxmi's incredible art in there so you can take a look at how stunning it is. Oh, and if you are listening to this in the Don't Salt My Game feed, then please don't forget to hop over and subscribe in the Can I Have Another Snack? feed. Okay, here's my conversation with LaxmiLaura Thomas So Laxmi, we start each conversation with the same question, which is, who or what are you nourishing right now?Laxmi Hussain I am nourishing, actually, you know what, this summer I nourish myself and I also nourish my family. But in general, even though the kids are on summer holidays, it's more about me resetting, taking a break and taking stock of what I've been doing. The summer is generally slower for me workwise and so I try to fill my cup.Laura Thomas So you're kind of taking a beat from the artist world, artist life and stepping back into mum life.Laxmi Hussain Yeah and life and you know, I think I've inherited this from my mom. But I love my children and I love being with my family so much that just being with them and doing things that make them happy and you know, just being in that space with them. It's what makes my summer. And I really love it. And I consciously try not to work during the summer, I know it is a long break and not many people, it's quite a privileged thing to say that I can take six weeks off. But I do pop in and nourish my, my plant babies, I've got forest here. But I try to step away. And even though I'm physically not working, my mind never stops. So I do think it is a good time to, it's very useful for me, because then I come back in September, and I feel reinvigorated. I have new energy. And all those ideas have not stopped working in my brain, and I do write things down or sketch things down in a notebook. But I feel without it, my cycle wouldn't, wouldn't quite work.Laura Thomas So it's kind of, I hear what you're saying, that like, you have this creative mind. So you can never fully stop, you can't turn that off. But it sounds as though there's something in the kind of like stepping back and just being fully immersed with your kids that almost allows you to take that step forward again in September when the kind of, I sometimes think of September as like a new year. Instead of like January, it's like this reset moment in the year, isn't it?Laxmi Hussain Absolutely. And January, for me, is usually one of my busiest times, because it's sort of, people are starting new projects, people feel reinvigorated then, but then they approach people then so I'm so busy that I forget that it's a new year. And all of my new year feels like September. I've never really thought about that before. But also, maybe it's also from a vain perspective, but my birthday's right in the beginning of September. I feel like it's a new year, new me as well. And it starts with the celebrations.Laura Thomas That Virgo season energy I hear you. I'm a Leo Virgo cusp. So I feel you on that. I was really struck by what you said, which shouldn't at all be radical, but it kind of feels a little subversive, which is that you enjoy being with your children. And I'm just, there's such, and I get it right like I get it being a parent being a mother is fucking hard. And it's relentless. And especially with the like the lack of social support, the lack of infrastructure, the lack of childcare, like all of those things. And at the same time to just hear someone sort of unapologetically say, I enjoy nourishing my kids and spending time with them. And it kind of made my mind go straight to the title of your newest, I think it's your latest at least art drop because, is that the right art world lingo, I'm out of my depth here, but it's called like ‘Glue’, right?Laxmi Hussain A couple of the pieces are but the actual collections called ‘Inseparable’.Laura Thomas Oh, wow even more like poignant. Laxmi Hussain Basically what it is, is it's an ode to the last two years of my life. It's just over two years now, because my youngest, Eden, was born in June. And I've had two different challenges from well, several different challenges. But the two that stand out the most since one, my mother died and two, when when my other children were younger, we were in different locations in London, we just seemed to have more hands. But my mom was the biggest hand in raising my older children and, and also my dad, actually, but now my dad has deteriorated due to Parkinson's, so that he hasn't been able to help us with childcare for at least three, four years. So that had a massive impact on our sort of our parenthood functioning and also we had COVID which meant that you know, even if someone wanted to help, they couldn't. So Eden has literally spent almost every day every working day in the studio with me unless I've had something where it really cannot have him around. And you know, I've been able to in the last six months to have help from family friends, but my mum would do the school pickup she would, especially when my daughter was in and out of nursery, because that's kind of, you know, when they start with half days and that kind of thing. And I was working a full time job at the time. So it was much harder for me to just pick up and leave, because you've got an employer to answer to. And, you know, my previous job, they were amazing, but you just can't, whereas now I can just, you know, I work around the school runs and all of that, but literally, Eden is here every day, and I wouldn't have been able to do that do the last child without, without this flexibility. And that's what this collection is about, like, he has been stuck to me for so long. And, you know, sometimes we love each other, sometimes we are throwing tantrums. And he's not the only one throwing tantrums. And, you know, I've just had to adapt to that kind of, I've got maybe an hour some days, sometimes I have four, you know, it's something that I've adapted to, but for some reason, I'm really good at it. And I love him being here. And I'm really a bit anxious or sad about him shortly going to nursery and leaving me. Because I wonder if he is also part of the reason that I paint the way that I do? And how will my mind change? How will my thoughts change? So in a way, he's nourished my entire process over the last couple of years.Laura Thomas And so just for context, because people can't see you, but you're, you're in your studio right now, as we're speaking. And so what you're saying is that your baby and toddler have been coming to literally to your art studio with you every day, and you've been making literally making art with, like, I can't even wash the dishes with my toddler around, like, I can't even piss without my toddler attached to my leg. I'm not joking.Laxmi Hussain I mean, you know what, it's made us so, I didn't have this much closeness with the other two, because from birth, they got used to being separated from me. You know, even if it was an hour or half a day, or my mom was always there, you know, I remember when Zayn was born, Zayn is my eldest. And I had the baby blues at the two week point, which I think is quite a normal peak trough. And I was looking at him and sobbing my eyes out. And I didn't know why. And I called my mom. And she was there in like, 15 minutes. So she was like, just give me the baby, you're crying all over him.Laura Thomas Because that's the issue. You're making the baby wet.Laxmi Hussain I just missed that. But you know, I don't, I don't have that this time around. So in some crazy way, I've made it work. And I'm so grateful for it. But also, it has been hard.Laura Thomas I'm just hearing such a like, there's like there's a tension or a conflict or something that like, there's something about this particular baby, because of the pandemic and because of the loss of your mum, that, you know, it's been harder in a lot of ways. But then there's this closeness, this bond that has this sort of this, I don't wanna say silver lining, but you know what I mean, like, an unexpected kind of gift that you have, and I just, this is where I'm gonna cry. But I just, I feel, and this is not at all why you need to make your art for me to feel validated and seen, but I feel so seen in those pieces in particular that you were talking about, in terms of, because we have, we have very little support, we've had very little support throughout the pandemic. And my toddler didn't start nursery until he was a bit older. And even then it was like, you know, the part time thing and, and he was, he's a very attached baby, very attached, and there's just something about seeing your work that just felt like holding a mirror up to our experiences and just like, you know, him literally physically being constantly attached to me, to my boob. And we've just gone through, I kind of felt like that was easing off. But then we've just had a spate of, what's it called, gastroenteritis, and he has, again, been attached to me. Like a newborn. I forgot how relentless it was. But yeah, there's just, I don't know, I wonder if you could speak a bit more to just like, being a body and having, you know, having to give so much of yourself to another body, another person, another, you know, your child.Laxmi Hussain I think the only way I can describe this is when I started painting, including Eden in my work, my agent, Georgia Spray who represents me as part of Partnership Editions, she said that she was looking at the paintings, she was like, they're so beautiful, it's like the babies are a jigsaw piece of yourself. And when you paint them together, it's like they fit together. And that's what I'm trying to depict is I've never, not that I've never seen, but it's just I don't see, very often, artwork depicting motherhood in a realistic way, in ways that it's awkward, it's beautiful. It's glued together all the time. And, you know, my baby was born in summer, that's like hot, sticky, sweaty, stuck to your clammy body. And it's so like, I say, I don't swear, but it's so fucking hard. But it's also so incredible that you can do this. And if you are able to do this, and you, you know, mentally and physically, you like to do it. It's just, wow, we are incredible people. Like, I'm not just talking like motherhood, yes, is very, very hard. But also, there are incredible other parents out there who do the same, and know what it's like to struggle in this way. And still really, really love it like, and that's why I'm unapologetic about the fact that I just really, really love my kids, they are everything to me. And you know, sometimes my friends don't hear from me, but it's because I'm with my kids. And no one is ever going to stand in front of them, because they're incredible beings. And they have so, now my older ki…

Full show notes at the publisher

The Can I Have Another Snack? Pod Aug 28, 2022

Show notes

Before we get into today’s newsletter, I just wanted to say a massive thank you to everyone who has subscribed, shared, commented and liked posts since my premature launch on Thursday (tl;dr I accidentally hit send as I was scheduling up a post for next week and had no choice but to just roll with it). After what has objectively been a terrible year, it’s heartening to have such a warm response to this new project. THANK YOU!

And if you haven’t already, you can join all the lovely folks introducing themselves to this fledgling community over here (and get the dl on what this newsletter is all about). Plus my first essay for Can I Have Another Snack? outlining all the ways the BMI sucks.

I also wanted to give you a little teaser of what to expect coming up this week: I have a piece coming on Tuesday about the National School Measurement Programme in schools (aka the ‘ob*sity’ report card). It takes a lot to shock me these days when it comes to the lengths the government will take to wage war on kids’ bodies, but even I was shook with some of what I found while researching this essay. Then, in our inaugural community discussion thread on Thursday, we’re looking at ‘The Nation’s Favourite PE Teacher’s’ kids book, and WOOF, it’s a lot. Then on Friday, I’ll be sharing the first interview from my new pod - also called Can I Have Another Snack? - inspired, I know. Today I’m sharing a short trailer of what to expect, alongside some snippets of conversation from this month’s guests, which you can listen to right here in Substack ^^^ (and soon in your regular Pod player - it might just take a few days for Apple to accept the feed). I’ve also put it in the DSMG feed for old timers.

So what’s the deal? Each week I’m asking my guests two questions - who or what are you nourishing right now? And who or what is nourishing you? Upcoming guests include Laxmi Hussain, Naureen Hunani, Christy Harrison, Clara Nosek, and Julia MF Turshen (!!!!!!). We explore topics around postpartum bodies, food, sanctimommy culture, neurodiversity, diet-culture, kids, capitalism, anti-fat bias, and so much more.

Check out the preview above - or subscribe in your podcast player. The first full episode will drop on Friday, and the transcript is below if you’d prefer to read.

Hey, welcome to Can I Have Another Snack? A brand new podcast with me, Laura Thomas. Some of you might know me already from my books Just Eat It and How To Just Eat It, or from my old podcast, Don’t Salt My Game. For those of you who don’t know me, I’m an anti-diet registered nutritionist who helps people make peace with food and their bodies. I’m especially interested in helping parents navigate the hell-scape that is diet culture and to end the intergenerational cycle of body shame and disordered eating.

So let me tell you about this podcast. Can I Have Another Snack is an exploration of appetite, identity, and bodies. We’re going to talk about how we feed ourselves and our kids (in all senses of the word!), and the ingredients we need to survive in diet culture. Every week I’m asking my guests two questions: who or what are you nourishing? And who or what is nourishing you?

Over the next few weeks, you can expect delicious and nurturing conversations with artist Laxmi Hussain, dietitian Christy Harrison, and cookbook author Julia Turshen, among loads of other cool and inspiring guests.

But it doesn’t stop there - Can I Have Another Snack is a whole universe. In the show notes you’ll find a link to my Substack newsletter. The Newsletter is a place where I share deeply researched essays on fundamental topics in the anti-diet cannon - this month we’re taking a look at why BMI is bullshit, I’m exploring the history and the problems with the National Child Measurement Programme in Schools, and talking about why nutrition education in schools is really toxic. September has a sort of loose back to school theme.

I’ll also host weekly discussion threads called Snacky Bits covering everything from Joe Wicks’ weird attempt to indoctrinate kids into capitalism through to how to clap-back to unwanted diet and body talk in front of your kids, plus my monthly dear Laura column, where I fashion myself as an agony aunt and answer your questions, plus I’ll share downloads to help you with anti-diet parenting and so much more.

And what’s so cool about hosting on Substack is that we can really build a community of people who can support and lean on each other. Or just scream into the void if that’s what you need to do. I’m also so excited to co-create this space with you - I want it to be a collaboration where you let me know what kinds of topics and segments you want covered and where we crowdsource ideas and solutions and share them with each other.

I hope you’ll join me in creating something really special, or at least a place where you can show up as your authentic, unapologetic self.

Can I Have Another Snack is a listener and reader supported project, meaning that if you like and value the work I do, you can opt to become a paid subscriber where you get commenting privileges, access to the archive and some of the other columns I described earlier, as well as be part of those weekly discussion threads. It’s just £5 a month or £50 for the year. Or if you are a superfan and you know you want to be part of this, you can become a founding member - I’m suggesting £100 but you can name your price - it’s more like a donation to help me get this work off the ground and give me a little confidence boost that I am not totally killing my career by doing this. In return, if you’re in the UK, I’ll send you a copy of both of my books and I’ll even sign them if you like. And you’ll also get a full subscription to the newsletter.

And hey, I totally get that asking you to pay for things is weird, so many of us are used to getting things for free on the internet. And, so many of us are struggling at the moment. And I have become so used to creating podcasts and writing articles and instagram posts for free, that it feels really icky for me to ask for support. But this is work for me, writing is work, research is work, and my expertise as a nutritionist has value. In order to make this sustainable, I need support for my labour. And I also know that £5 a month is a much more accessible way to have a nutritionist in your pocket than paying for 1-1 services, so I really hope I will be worth every penny of that £5. It also helps me pay for things like a podcast editor and to pay my guests for their time, which is also really valuable.

And I know that some of us can’t stretch to £5 a month right now, and if that’s you, please email hello@laurathomasphd.co.uk and just put ‘comp subscription’ in the subject line - you don’t have to explain yourself - just put comp subscription in the subject line and email hello@laurathomasphd.co.uk and we’ll hook you up.

There are also some free ways you can support this project - please subscribe to the podcast on your podcast player, Apple, Spotify, wherever, and subscribe to the newsletter on Substack - the newsletter will be completely free for all of September, and even after the paywall goes live, you’ll still get podcast updates and free essays multiple times a month.

OK, I am so excited and so nervous about this project - it’s been months and months in the making and I’m so thrilled to finally share it with you. I’m going to leave you with a few snippets of conversation from upcoming episodes to whet your appetite, and I’ll be back in your ears on Friday. Catch you then.

Clip from Ep 1 - Laxmi Hussain:I think the only way I can describe this is when I started painting, including Eden in my work, my agent Georgia Spray, who represents me as part of Partnership Editions, she said that she was looking at the painting, she was like, they're so beautiful, it's like the babies are a jigsaw piece of yourself. And when you paint them together, it's like they fit together. And that's what I'm trying to depict is, I've never, not that I've never seen, but it's just I don't see very often artwork depicting motherhood in a realistic way, in ways that it's awkward, it's beautiful, it's glued together all the time. It's so like I say, I don't swear, but it's so fucking hard. But it's also so incredible like that, you can do this. And if you are able to do this, and you, you know, mentally and physically, you like to do it, it's just wow, we are incredible people, like I'm not just talking like motherhood, yes, is very, very hard. But also, there are incredible other parents out there who do the same, and know what it's like to struggle in this way, and still really, really love it.

Clip from Ep 2 - Naureen Hunani:I think that, you know, for me, and I can speak about my experience, like becoming a mother like triggered a whole bunch of stuff in me, things that were just kind of tucked away from childhood and my body changing and also, you know, being neurodivergent, like, I was able to manage somewhat, okay, you know, masking and trying hard enough and just, you know, doing my day to day stuff, but then becoming a mother, it's like, wow, like the executive functioning, you know, differences really started to show up in the multitasking and all of that, and then also questioning, you know, when you like I have, I come from a family of neurodivergent you know, folks, many of them are not diagnosed. And, you know, I find that advocating for my children who are neurodivergent, that that is also very, very difficult when, when we live in this society, so I feel like being a mother, like becoming a mother really pushed me to grow, and really explore those pieces that were just kind of there but not taken care of as a human. And I feel like, you know, also coming from a lot of trauma and childhood trauma, trying to raise my children in a way that aligns with my values, you know, also helps me heal my inner child. Right? Doing things that that I do for my kids and giving them permission to be who they are. It is so healing. It is so incredibly healing. And it has been incredibly difficult as well because growth is painful, right?

Clip from Ep 3 - Christy Harrison:And then I had such a difficult time going back to work because, you know, even though I'm right, I'm working from home, I'm in the same house, I can pop over and breastfeed her, you know, whenever she's hungry, just like the getting back and forth between, you know, the mom space and the mom part of my brain and the workspace and this person that I was before I gave birth that I don't even recognise in some ways, you know, like, I mean, not even just physically, but that's, you know, that's a tiny bit in there too. But like, this person that, you know, was so driven and able to work so hard and efficiently and effectively and like, get all my stuff done. And you know, now feeling just kind of like, not very good at what I'm doing and or not very efficient and productive and all of the sort of capitalistic pressures that come with that right. And the feeling of like, you know, I'm the primary earner right now and my husband is the primary childcare and like, there's so much on my shoulders that you know, if I can't do it, my brain goes to these like anxious places of like we're going to lose our house and our food and you know, like, it just goes to like, really they're not true beliefs when I really sit down and think about it and look at it, I'm like, Okay, we have savings, we're okay, we're not gonna, you know, it's not gonna happen. But just having a child I think sort of unlocked a new level of anxiety in a way of like this existential like, and like protecting, you know, needing to protect her in so many ways that sometimes I feel incapable of.

Clip from Ep 4 - Clara Nosek:And then there's also like, you, once you give birth, you are not who you were before. Right? You are not who you were when you were pregnant. And so now who are you, you have no idea. And so there's that trying to wrestle with that new you, while also taking care of this other person, while also dealing with the pressure of like, okay, now I want to be like the perfect mom. And then while also like, like dealing with, who am I to my partner, who am I to myself, who am I to my friends? And I think yeah, like, that's, it's weird. There's no books on that. There's no, yeah. And so I think that like trying to decipher who, who that person is and trying to fill it, right, because you're like, building this new relationship. You're starting essentially at ground zero. With like, this pressure to like, you want to be what you look like before you got pregnant or like even better, and it's like, but that person doesn't exist.

This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit laurathomas.substack.com/subscribe

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