Camp Counselors with Zachariah Porter and Jonathan Carson

Latest Episodes:

152 - The Social Experiment we call LIFE Sep 17, 2025

Show notes

This week at camp, we came face to face with something we feared... our parents meeting for the first time ever. We also rediscovered some love for the lost art of digestifs, and Zachariah shares what it’s really been like since he quit vaping. Then we hear a tale of an old woman in love with an astronaut, a server who rescued a raccoon mid-shift, ranted about overly complicated makeup tutorials, and aired out the absolute LOSERS who are adamant about keeping the shades on airplanes closed... LOVE YAS!

This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts.

Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

Sponsors:

➜ Go to BollAndBranch.com/camp to get up to 15% off, plus free shipping on your first set of sheets. Exclusions apply. See site for details.

➜ Skip the junk without overspending. Head over to ThriveMarket.com/camp to get 30% off your first order and a FREE $60 gift.

➜ Score spooky deals like up to 50% off at MeUndies.com/counselors and using our code: counselors

➜ Bring your A-game and talk to your doctor. Learn more at Apretude.com or call 1-888-240-0340

Works Cited:

➜ AFP-JIJI. “Over the Moon: Fake Astronaut Scams Lovestruck Japanese Octogenarian.” The Japan Times, 3 Sept. 2025.

➜ Lisa Steacy. “B.C. Server Jumps into Ocean Mid-Shift to Rescue Drowning Baby Raccoon.” CTVNews, 5 Sept. 2025.

Camp Songs:

Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Confessions of A Foam-Head Felon - Trail Mix #101 Sep 15, 2025

Show notes

In this mini episode, we are reading listener submitted stories about a camper who floated down a river and straight into HR trouble, a camper with a little critter in her car (and things are getting worse), and a tale of turning heartbreak into a halftime show.

Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

Sponsors:

➜ Bring your A-game and talk to your doctor. Learn more at Apretude.com or call 1-888-240-0340.

Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!

Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

151 - Accidentally in the Disney World Staff Parking Lot Sep 10, 2025

Show notes

This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts.

Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

Sponsors:

➜ Go to BollAndBranch.com/camp to get up to 15% off, plus free shipping on your first set of sheets. Exclusions apply. See site for details.

➜ Bring your A-game and talk to your doctor. Learn more at Apretude.com or call 1-888-240-0340.

➜ Go to Progressive.com to see if you could save on insurance.

Works Cited:

➜ Sheena Goodyear. “For the 1st Time in Canada, Surgeons Put Teeth in Patients’ Eyes to Restore Sight | CBC Radio.” CBCnews, CBC/Radio Canada, 28 Feb. 2025.

➜ Victor Mather. “Buried by Princess Diana, Time Capsule Brings Back the ’90s Far Too Soon.” The New York Times. Accessed 10 Sept. 2025.

Camp Songs:

Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

I Found My Friend’s Wife on NSFW Reddit - Trail Mix #100 Sep 08, 2025

Show notes

THE 100th EPISODE OF TRAIL MIX?! Thank you for letting us share your stories. Camp Shady Birch wouldn’t be the same without the chaos you campers have brought to these ole bags of Trail Mix.

In this mini episode, we are reading listener submitted stories about a camper who went to the grocery store for bread, and left with the fallout from her own mother's meltdown, a camper who proved the pen is mightier than the sword (and the attendance sheet is deadlier than detention), and a camper who was scrolling on the adult side of Reddit only to recognize some of the rooms in the pictures.

Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

Sponsors:

➜ Bring your A-game and talk to your doctor. Learn more at Apretude.com or call 1-888-240-0340.

➜ Talk it out, with BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp.com/CAMP

➜ Go to FactorMeals.com/camp50off and use code camp50off to get 50% off plus FREE breakfast for a year.

Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!

Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

150 - Saké Super Soakers & Behaving Badly Sep 03, 2025

Show notes

This week at camp, we’re unpacking our trip to a bachelorette weekend in the Poconos. It was a getaway that came with a side of E. coli, and the cherry on top was a full-blown public bridal party screaming match. Somehow, the chaos segues (yes thats how you spell it i think...) into cars. A favorite mode of transportation here at camp! Jonathan’s questionable driving skills, our unsolicited TED Talk on roundabouts, and a Romeo and Juliet production performed entirely with trucks and construction vehicles. Yes, for realsies.

This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts.

Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

Sponsors:

➜ Tear. Pour. Live more. Go to LiquidIV.com and use code CAMP at checkout to get 20% off your first order.

➜ Bring your A-game and talk to your doctor. Learn more at Apretude.com or call 1-888-240-0340.

➜ Go to Progressive.com to see if you could save on insurance.

Works Cited:

➜ Katarzyna-Maria Skiba. “Estonia Stages a ‘Heavy Machinery Ballet’ Version of Romeo and Juliet.” EuroNews, 8 Mar. 2025.

➜ Jamie L. LaReau. “Retired Ford Worker’s Wallet Returned after 11 Years Stuck in an Engine.” USA Today, Gannett Satellite Information Network, 17 Aug. 2025.

Camp Songs:

Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Non-Refrigerated Cheese - Trail Mix #99 Sep 01, 2025

Show notes

In this mini episode, we are reading listener submitted stories about a camper who walked into the OBGYN dressed as Thing 1 (and things only got freakier from there), a savory body shot no one asked for, and a camper who accidentally serenaded two priests with a pop-punk FREAKY anthem.

Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

Sponsors:

➜ Bring your A-game and talk to your doctor. Learn more at Apretude.com or call 1-888-240-0340.

➜ Talk it out, with BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp.com/CAMP

Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!

Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

149 - Four Guys, One Room Aug 27, 2025

Show notes

This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts.

Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

Sponsors:

➜ Bring your A-game and talk to your doctor. Learn more at Apretude.com or call 1-888-240-0340.

➜ Go to Progressive.com to see if you could save on insurance.

➜ Save 20% on your FIRST order and get a FREE cat toy at PrettyLitter.com/camp (Pretty Litter cannot detect every feline health issue or prevent or diagnose diseases. A diagnosis can only come from a licensed Veterinarian. Terms and conditions apply. See site for details.)

Works Cited:

➜ Graig Graziosi. Mystery Pilot Is Stealing a California Man’s Plane before Repairing and Returning It, The Independent, 8 Aug. 2025.

➜ Sarah Kuta. “Colorado Is Building the ‘world’s Largest’ Wildlife Overpass, Giving Elk and Other Big Creatures a Safe Path to Cross a Busy Freeway.” Smithsonian Magazine, 4 Aug. 2025.

Camp Songs:

Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

I Broke Into Her House... And She Was Home - Trail Mix #98 Aug 25, 2025

Show notes

In this mini episode, we are reading listener submitted stories about a camper who signed up to nanny in a mansion, but ended up working at Goodwill, a camper breaking and entering in the name of love, and a haunting in the snack aisle.

Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

Sponsors:

➜ Bring your A-game and talk to your doctor. Learn more at Apretude.com or call 1-888-240-0340.

➜ Go to BollAndBranch.com/camp to get up to 15% off, plus free shipping on your first set of sheets. Exclusions apply. See site for details.

Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!

Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

148 - Influencers Love It... We Don't. Aug 20, 2025

Show notes

In this episode, Counselor Zachariah checks into the infirmary cabin, then begins screaming Nickelback in the woods while Jonathan recites the heavy award-winning scene form the hit 2019 musical, Marriage Story.

This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts.

Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

Sponsors:

➜ Bring your A-game and talk to your doctor. Learn more at Apretude.com or call 1-888-240-0340.

➜ Go to Progressive.com to see if you could save on insurance.

➜ Tackle your to-do list today and get 15% off your first task at taskrabbit.com or on the TaskRabbit app using promo code CAMPCOUNSELORS

➜ Skip the junk without overspending. Head over to ThriveMarket.com/camp to get 30% off your first order and a FREE gift.

Works Cited:

➜ Zack Sharf. “Scarlett Johansson and Adam Driver Fighting In ‘marriage Story’ Is Being Used by the USDA to Scare off Wolves and Save Cattle: ‘They Need to Know Humans Are Bad.’” Variety, 4 Aug. 2025.

➜ Stephanie Ip. “B.C. Man Heard Yelling in Forest Just Singing Nickelback.” Vancouver Sun, 1 Aug. 2025.

Camp Songs:

Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Catfishing My Bestie's Boyfriend - Trail Mix #97 Aug 18, 2025

Show notes

In this mini episode, we are reading listener submitted stories about a camper caught between family bonding and bladder betrayal, a dream date that capsized, and the tale of a camper who kind of catfished her best friend’s boyfriend.

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!

Sponsors:

➜ Bring your A-game and talk to your doctor. Learn more at Apretude.com or call 1-888-240-0340.

➜ Talk it out, with BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp.com/CAMP

Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!

Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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