Calm the Chaos Parenting

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**Calm the Chaos Parenting**

Start your journey from surviving to thriving as a family at: calmthechaospodcast.com. Is your child's challenging behavior leaving you feeling exhausted, defeated, and hopeless? You are not alone, you are not a failure, and your child is not broken. Welcome to Calm the Chaos Parenting — the podcast for parents raising strong-willed, highly sensitive, and neurodivergent children. I'm Dayna Abraham, a parenting expert, and I've helped hundreds of thousands of families just like yours. Each week I’ll share simple science-backed solutions to help you feel more grounded, in tune, and deeply connected to your child, no matter what challenge you face. Be sure to follow the podcast on your favorite platform so you never miss an episode.

Latest Episodes:

How to Let Go of Expectations and Regain Control in Your Life Aug 01, 2023

Show notes

EPISODE 17: Hey guys, Jason here (again).

Before Dayna is back, I'll be doing another solo episode.

And this time, let me ask you if you relate to this:

You ask your partner, spouse, or your kid to help you with the laundry, and they do. But when they don't fold the towels just the way you would fold them, you get angry at them for doing it wrong.

As a result, they stop helping with the towels altogether. Now you get upset and say things like, "Now I have to do everything myself," or "It just never gets done."

I know - I'm 100% guilty of that.

But why do we fall into this trap?

After I spent a certain amount of time learning about new and different ways of viewing the world, I realized that it comes from getting too attached to a specific outcome.

It's like when you have high hopes for a much-hyped book or movie and, after reading/watching it, you end up disappointed because you compare it to a perfect picture you created in your mind.

So, this week, I want to share a 4-step You-CUE plan for how to let go of expectations and regain control so you can see your relationships with your partner, kids, and other people in your life in the ways that work out for you and appreciate them for who they are.

Well, I’ll include some chocolate chip cookies in the story as well… after all, who doesn’t like them?

And if you do, make sure to check out the full episode.

Tune in now!

Key Takeaways:

Intro (00:00)
Why do expectations lead to disappointment? (02:50)
What is (not) attachment? (05:32)
You-CUE (14:46)
You piece (16:09)
Connect piece (19:49)
Understand piece (25:42)
Empower piece (28:06)
Recap piece (31:24)

Additional resources:

📖 Pre-order your copy of Calm The Chaos Book

🔍 Check out my website

🗓️ Take the Routine Cure course and keep your days organized and running smoothly

👉 Check out my YouTube channel

Connect with me on social media:

🔹 TikTok

🔹 Instagram

🔹 Facebook

Calm the Chaos Parenting is a podcast offering parents practical tools and strategies to navigate the challenges of raising strong-willed, highly sensitive, and neurodivergent children.

🎧 Follow us on your favorite platform so you never miss an episode!

How Dads Can Figure Out Their Role in Modern Parenting Jul 25, 2023

Show notes

EPISODE 16: Hey guys, Jason here!

This week we are doing something a little different because I don't have my partner in crime, Dayna, with me. (Because she’s doing some amazing work with Village Impact in Kenya - check additional resources for more details.)

Originally, we were going to dive into the fascinating world of sensory processing. But I’m not exactly the expert on the topic… I mean, Dayna has written an entire book on the subject.

So instead, this week, we're going to tackle a topic that's close to my heart: how us dads can figure out our role in modern parenting.

Because parenting has shifted dramatically in the last few decades, we often do not have good examples or role models in this style of parenting, leaving us lost and unsure of if we are doing it right.

I believe there are three important layers we need to explore.

The need to go it alone
The need to have answers and fix
The need to get it right

By exploring these layers we see how community can bring a profound impact on our lives as dads.

So, if you've ever wondered how you can navigate the maze of modern parenting and find your place in it, this episode is for you.

Join me as I share my thoughts, experiences, and a few laughs along the way.

Tune in, and let's embark on this adventure of fatherhood because together, we can uncover the secrets to being the best dads we can be.

Let's dive in!

Key Takeaways:

Intro (00:00)
A little different episode (01:16)
The importance of community-based parenting (03:18)
The importance of listening (08:16)
The need to get everything right (10:58)
Connecting with Eli - Jason’s story (16:17)
When the transformation began - Jason’s ticket to freedom (28:43)
Jason’s challenge for dads (33:57)

Additional resources:

👉 Check out Village Impacts’s website: https://villageimpact.com/

- - -

📖 Pre-order your copy of Calm The Chaos Book

🔍 Check out my website

🗓️ Take the Routine Cure course and keep your days organized and running smoothly

👉 Check out my YouTube channel

Connect with me on social media:

🔹 TikTok

🔹 Instagram

🔹 Facebook

Calm the Chaos Parenting is a podcast offering parents practical tools and strategies to navigate the challenges of raising strong-willed, highly sensitive, and neurodivergent children.

🎧 Follow us on your favorite platform so you never miss an episode!

Navigating the Autism Diagnosis - Our Story of Overcoming Fears and Misconceptions Jul 18, 2023

Show notes

EPISODE 15: Today, we're diving into a topic that I've shied away from discussing for far too long. It's a topic that elicits strong emotions, heated debates, and carries a weight of history and trauma.

Yes, we're talking about autism.

As parents raising autistic children, we understand the complexities surrounding autism. We know the struggles, the victories, and the importance of creating a safe and supportive environment for our kids to thrive. And that's what we want to share with you today.

I want to emphasize that this is our personal perspective based on our own experiences and our work with other parents navigating the world of autism.

We're not here to fix, change, or cure our children.

Our intention is to help you become the parent you want to be for your unique child.

This episode marks a significant step for us, as we open up about our experiences and shed light on the challenges and breakthroughs we've encountered. We'll be sharing our own story before and after our oldest son received his autism diagnosis at the age of 11.

This is just the beginning of a series where we'll delve deeper into this topic, providing resources and insights to support you on your own journey.

Our aim is to foster an open dialogue and create a safe space where you can ask questions, share concerns, and learn from one another. We want to empower you to have those important conversations, even if you're unsure about finding the right words.

So, join us as we break the silence about autism. Let's embark on this path of understanding, support, and celebration of our children's unique potential.

Tune in now!

Key Takeaways:

Today’s topic - autism (00:00)
Talking about autism without fear (02:48)
The intention of this episode (08:07)
Dayna and Jason’s approaches to fear and misunderstanding of autism (08:45)
Our oldest wasn’t diagnosed with autism until he was 11 (20:06)
At the time of diagnosis, we were at a really bad place (30:07)
How the diagnosis of autism changed our son (40:20)
Parents, trust your gut (43:10)
Our son helped a lot of people (46:19)
Episode wrap-up (51:38)

Additional resources:

🔍 Check out my website

📖 Pre-order your copy of Calm The Chaos Book

🗓️ Take the Routine Cure course and keep your days organized and running smoothly

👉 Check out my YouTube channel

Connect with me on social media:

🔹 TikTok

🔹 Instagram

🔹 Facebook

Calm the Chaos Parenting is a podcast offering parents practical tools and strategies to navigate the challenges of raising strong-willed, highly sensitive, and neurodivergent children.

🎧 Follow us on your favorite platform so you never miss an episode!

Embracing the Journey of ADHD: Navigating Challenges and Finding Strengths Jul 11, 2023

Show notes

EPISODE 14: Living with ADHD can be quite an adventure!

Trust me, I know firsthand.

Living with ADHD is like embarking on a unique and exciting journey. Sure, it may come with its fair share of challenges, but there's so much more to it than meets the eye.

In this week’s post, I am going to dive into the world of ADHD and share my personal journey with it.

I share personal anecdotes and reflections on the journey of self-discovery with ADHD.

The purpose of this episode is to encourage individuals and parents to let go of the notion of being "broken" and instead focus on accepting and appreciating their unique brain wiring.

Here at Calm the Chaos, we aim to provide insights and support for parents raising children with ADHD, as well as individuals who have been diagnosed or undiagnosed but face challenges associated with ADHD.

By fostering self-understanding and self-compassion, we can create a more supportive and empowering environment for anyone living with ADHD.

Our intention is to shed light on this topic, address common questions, and offer strategies for thriving with ADHD or support a family member with ADHD.

By reframing ADHD as a different way of thinking rather than a disability, we can empower individuals with ADHD to thrive in a world that often doesn't fully understand or accommodate their needs.

Remember, the ADHD diagnosis does not define who your child is; it simply provides valuable insights to guide their journey toward growth and success.

So, let's get started with this episode!

Key Takeaways:

Intro (0:00)
Diving into the world of ADHD today (01:31)
Creating systems around your brain to support you (06:26)
How do you know if it’s just your kid being a kid or having a disability? (11:39)
Common challenges of ADHD (17:10)
Do you need to get a diagnosis of ADHD? (21:14)
Managing conflicting needs in a family (31:45)
The importance of understanding each other’s needs and connecting with each other (34:29)
ADHD does not change who you are or who your child is (38:55)

Additional resources:

🔍 Check out my website

📖 Pre-order your copy of Calm The Chaos Book

🗓️ Take the Routine Cure course and keep your days organized and running smoothly

👉 Check out my YouTube channel

Connect with me on social media:

🔹 TikTok

🔹 Instagram

🔹 Facebook

Calm the Chaos Parenting is a podcast offering parents practical tools and strategies to navigate the challenges of raising strong-willed, highly sensitive, and neurodivergent children.

🎧 Follow us on your favorite platform so you never miss an episode!

How to Identify Your Primary Parenting Style and Why It Matters Jul 04, 2023

Show notes

EPISODE 13: Parenting is a journey filled with joys, challenges, and the constant pursuit of doing what's best for our children.

However, amidst the sea of advice and expectations, many parents find themselves grappling with guilt and shame over perceived shortcomings.

It's not uncommon for parents to be bombarded with conflicting advice from professionals, experts, and well-meaning friends and family.

The pressure to adhere to a seemingly endless list of do's and don'ts can leave parents feeling overwhelmed and uncertain about their choices.

This overload of information often leads to a swirl of thoughts, making it challenging to make decisions with confidence.

The weight of guilt and shame can crush the spirit, hindering the ability to fully embrace and own our decisions.

Instead of fixating on what we're doing wrong, it's essential to shift our focus to what we're already doing right.

Every parent has strengths and unique qualities that contribute positively to their children's lives.

By acknowledging and celebrating these strengths, we can lay a foundation for growth and create a more empowering parenting experience.

To guide parents on this transformative journey, we introduce four primary parenting styles:

Grounded, Affirming, In-Tune, and Empowered.

Each style aligns with our Calm the Chaos Framework, emphasizing the importance of connection, understanding, and empowerment.

By identifying our primary parenting style, we gain insight into our strengths and areas for growth, allowing us to make intentional choices that align with our values and our children's needs.

Let’s dive in!

Key Takeaways:

Intro (00:00)
There’s always room for growth (01:08)
Building off our foundational strengths (03:10)
4 primary parenting styles (07:38)
Grounded parents (10:28)
Affirming parents (16:01)
The in-tune parent (23:30)
The empowered parent (30:30)

Additional resources:

📝 Take this FREE quiz to discover which of 4 different parenting styles you have

🔍 Check out my website

📖 Pre-order your copy of Calm The Chaos Book

🗓️ Take the Routine Cure course and keep your days organized and running smoothly

👉 Check out my YouTube channel

Connect with me on social media:

🔹 TikTok

🔹 Instagram

🔹 Facebook

Calm the Chaos Parenting is a podcast offering parents practical tools and strategies to navigate the challenges of raising strong-willed, highly sensitive, and neurodivergent children.

🎧 Follow us on your favorite platform so you never miss an episode!

How to Understand Your Kid's Challenging Behaviors Based on the 5 Dominant Types Jun 27, 2023

Show notes

EPISODE 12: If you've ever wondered why the heck your kid does what they do and what it really means, then this is the episode you've been waiting for.

This week, we're diving deep into the secrets behind your child's challenging behaviors — stubborn defiance, selective hearing, seemingly constant anger, and many other things parents are usually struggling with.

Understanding these behaviors is key to leveling up your parenting game.

Now, let me share my not-so-secret superpower of understanding people…

I used to think it was something I could only keep to myself. But then, bam! Working with a mentor, I use it to create this behavior-dominant types quiz that's been taken by over a quarter of a million parents.

The feedback's been insane, with parents going, “Are you peeking into my home? How do you know my kid?”

Well, no, we’re not spying on you.

However, while every child is unique and doesn't neatly fit into categories, my experience working with thousands of families worldwide has revealed some common patterns - specifically, five distinct behavior types.

This discovery led me down the path to creating a quiz/assessment that will provide you with insights into your child's behavior type and how it influences your parenting approach.

So, if you're ready to shift your focus from your kids’ flaws to embracing their strengths and the positive aspects of their behavior, join us for this conversation.

We're going to unravel the five behavior types, explore their struggles and superpowers, and equip you with practical tips on how to handle those behaviors in the heat of the moment.

Let’s dive in!

Key Takeaways:

What does your child’s behavior mean (00:00)
Dayna’s dominant behavior types quiz (02:25)
The concept of the episode - explanation (09:10)
Five dominant behavior types (10:37)
Creative type (11:57)
Fierce type (19:39)
Spirited type (29:11)
Unique type (38:26)
Adventurous type (47:01)
Take the quiz (55:28)

Additional resources:

📝 Take the FREE quiz What is Your Child’s Behavior Type?

🔍 Check out my website

📖 Pre-order your copy of Calm The Chaos Book

🗓️ Take the Routine Cure course and keep your days organized and running smoothly

👉 Check out my YouTube channel

Connect with me on social media:

🔹 TikTok

🔹 Instagram

🔹 Facebook

Calm the Chaos Parenting is a podcast offering parents practical tools and strategies to navigate the challenges of raising strong-willed, highly sensitive, and neurodivergent children.

🎧 Follow us on your favorite platform so you never miss an episode!

How to Connect With Your Child Even if You Never Have Enough Time Jun 20, 2023

Show notes

EPISODE 11: What does it mean to you to be connected with your kid? When you say “connection”, what comes to your mind? I ask this because I believe that there's this whole misconception about what connection truly means.

Many people have this idealized idea of connection time, having a picture-perfect scene straight out of Pinterest or a Disney movie in their heads. You know, birds chirping in the background, magical moments, and all that jazz.

We're bombarded with advice, like spending 15 minutes individually with each of our eight kids every day or having this uninterrupted quality time without any distractions. And if we don't do that every single day, we're made to feel like we're ruining our relationship with our kids.

This puts great pressure on modern parents, especially single parents, parents with their own neurodivergence, or those who are already dealing with a ton of stress and juggling a million things.

Connecting with our kids in the way experts suggest can seem like an impossible task. That’s why, in this week’s episode, we're going to apply our Calm the Chaos framework to tackle a common concern that so many of us parents have:

Not having enough time to connect with our kids.

I get it - life is crazy, schedules are packed, and there are just never enough hours in the day.

So, we’ll dive deep into how you can establish meaningful connections with your kids, even in the midst of the difficulties of being stressed, busy, and lacking time in your daily routine.

We'll create a 4-step You-CUE plan and provide you with practical ideas that you can implement in your everyday life.

So, tune in and find out how you can connect with your kids, even if time is scarce and life feels chaotic.

P.S. Just to keep it real with you - depending on where you're at in your parenting journey, some of these suggestions might not be doable just yet. And that's OK - progress is what matters, even if it's just one small step at a time.

Let’s do it!

Key Takeaways:

Intro (00:00)
The usual perception of what connection is (01:22)
What connection really is (08:19)
The role of body language and nonverbal communication (11:52)
The You-CUE plan (12:52)
You (13:19)
Connect (17:01)
Understand (22:43)
Empower (29:02)
A tiny connection step you can do now (34:08)

Additional resources:

🔍 Check out my website

📖 Pre-order your copy of Calm The Chaos Book

🗓️ Take the Routine Cure course and keep your days organized and running smoothly

👉 Check out my YouTube channel

Connect with me on social media:

🔹 TikTok

🔹 Instagram

🔹 Facebook

Calm the Chaos Parenting is a podcast offering parents practical tools and strategies to navigate the challenges of raising strong-willed, highly sensitive, and neurodivergent children.

🎧 Follow us on your favorite platform so you never miss an episode!

Successful Co-Parenting (Part 2): A 4-Step Plan for You and Your Partner Jun 14, 2023

Show notes

EPISODE 10: If you're going through struggles with your spouse or partner, whether it's about the kids' behavior, money matters, or anything else, ask yourselves: Do you both really want to be together and build a family? Are you on the same page when it comes to your destination?

If the answer is “Yes,” then this episode is just what you need. And even if your answer is "No" or "I don't know," this episode may help you see things from a different perspective and recognize that your partner:

doesn’t hurt you deliberately
wants the best for your kids
is still your soul mate and the person you fell in love with…

But sometimes, life gets in the way, and we forget about these things…

In this episode, we're digging deeper into the question of "What do I do if my spouse isn't on board?" This is part two of our discussion, where we'll chat about finding common ground, aligning your approaches, and getting your partner on board with the Calm the Chaos way.

If you missed the first part, don't worry! Go ahead and give it a listen. And if you've already tuned in, welcome back! Let's keep this conversation going.

This time we’ll be sharing the 4-step Calm the Chaos framework to finding common ground and building a successful co-parenting journey.

Just remember, you're in this together, and you can succeed one tiny step at a time. I know because we used to be there.

As I’ve already mentioned - at the beginning of our parenting journey, Jason and I weren't on the same page. Actually, we faced our fair share of challenges and had lots of disagreements, worries, and fears about where our parenting adventure was headed.

Just like in the first part of this episode, we'll continue spilling many juicy details of our story — the ups, the downs, and everything in between.

So, if you find yourself in a similar situation, feeling like you and your partner will never see eye to eye, be sure to tune into this part of the episode and find out how to create a plan to align with your partner.

But before that, always remember: you can have disagreements, choose different paths, and still reach the same destination — becoming the best possible parenting team for your children and building a thriving family.

Let’s dive in!

Key Takeaways:

Intro (00:00)
You - your interpretation of your partner’s behavior (01:48)
Connect (11:01)
Understand - getting your partner’s perspective (20:44)
Empower (26:58)
Using the You-CUE framework at every stage (35:30)
The key takeaway (36:49)
You-CUE wrap-up (42:18)

Additional resources:

🔍 Check out my website

📖 Pre-order your copy of Calm The Chaos Book

🗓️ Take the Routine Cure course and keep your days organized and running smoothly

👉 Check out my YouTube channel

Connect with me on social media:

🔹 TikTok

🔹 Instagram

🔹 Facebook

Calm the Chaos Parenting is a podcast offering parents practical tools and strategies to navigate the challenges of raising strong-willed, highly sensitive, and neurodivergent children.

🎧 Follow us on your favorite platform so you never miss an episode!

Successful Co-Parenting (Part 1): When Your Partner is Not On Board... Jun 13, 2023

Show notes

EPISODE 9: "We don't parent that way."

If you've ever said that to your partner and received a fiery glare in return, don't worry, you're not alone. It's frustrating when you and your partner can't see eye to eye on parenting decisions. Trust me, many couples face this same struggle.

One question we hear all the time from parents who join our program or attend our free workshops is: "What do I do if my spouse isn't on board?" (Yep, that's exactly how they put it.)

In this episode, we're diving deep into this topic. We'll talk about finding common ground, aligning your approaches, and getting your partner on board with the Calm the Chaos way.

Especially when it means straying away from the traditional parenting methods we all grew up with.

In fact, our conversation was so rich that we decided to split it into two episodes. Not just because of that, but because we know this issue hits home for many parents out there.

At the beginning of our parenting journey, Jason and I weren't on the same page. Actually, we faced our fair share of challenges. In this episode, we'll spill many juicy details of our story — the ups, the downs, and everything in between.

You'll get to hear about Jason's experience as a stepdad and how he struggled at first to embrace the Calm the Chaos approach. We had lots of disagreements, worries, and fears about where our parenting adventure was headed.

There was even a point when things hit rock bottom. We reached a breaking point, and for two weeks, our family was split. I took the boys and stayed in a hotel, while Jason sought refuge with our daughter at his parents' place.

I honestly thought we were on the brink of divorce. But we decided to fight for our family, and we've come a long way since then.

So, if you're in a similar situation, feeling like you and your partner will never be on the same page, we want you to know that there's hope. We've been there, and we want to help you navigate through the chaos.

Make sure to tune in to this episode as Jason and I reveal our personal journey and the hurdles we (and countless other parents) had to overcome before becoming a kick-ass parenting team.

Let's do this!

Key Takeaways:

Intro (00:00)
Dayna and Jason’s parenting journey (01:59)
A turtle episode (14:57)
One of the biggest challenges in the Calm the Chaos program (16:29)
When just one of us does research about parenting (20:05)
The You-CUE plan for parenting when you’re not on the same page - introduction (22:24)

Additional resources:

🔍 Check out my website

📖 Pre-order your copy of Calm The Chaos Book

🗓️ Take the Routine Cure course and keep your days organized and running smoothly

👉 Check out my YouTube channel

Connect with me on social media:

🔹 TikTok

🔹 Instagram

🔹 Facebook

Calm the Chaos Parenting is a podcast offering parents practical tools and strategies to navigate the challenges of raising strong-willed, highly sensitive, and neurodivergent children.

🎧 Follow us on your favorite platform so you never miss an episode!

How to Create a Lasting Family Success Plan Jun 06, 2023

Show notes

EPISODE 8: Are you ready to challenge traditional notions of parenting and create a family ecosystem centered on teamwork and mutual understanding? I'm talking about an ecosystem where everyone's voices are heard and each family member's needs are valued.

Sounds like something out of a dream, right?

Well, guess what? It's definitely possible, and we're here to show you how. This is the final stage of our Family Road Map.

I know the idea of individualizing parenting and ditching the cookie-cutter approach can seem overwhelming. You might be thinking, "Hey, I've got four kids - how am I supposed to parent each one differently?"

But here's the thing — you DON’T HAVE to handle each kid separately. The secret sauce lies in shifting from solely relying on parents to adopting a team approach.

Think of it as creating a biosphere within your family, where each member relies on and supports one another for survival. This is what a family should be — a cohesive unit that operates as a team.

Of course, we've tested these strategies on our own family before sharing them with others (we’ve been like guinea pigs in this case).

Over almost a decade of working online, we've witnessed countless families implementing these techniques, allowing us to identify areas of improvement and fine-tune the system. And it works - we've got hundreds of thousands of success stories to prove it!

So, if you're ready to turn your family into the ultimate dream team that supports and uplifts each other, then you don't want to miss this episode. We're diving deep into creating family success plans, and we're excited to share the insights with you.

Join us as we unravel the secrets to building a thriving family ecosystem that fosters teamwork and support.

Tune in now!

Key Takeaways:

Creating a family ecosystem that works together (00:00)
What is different about the family team approach (04:46)
Road Map Stage 5: Family Success (07:02)
A family team approach vs. traditional parenting (15:55)
The 4-step family success plan (24:46)
What could have been a nightmare situation worked out really well (31:06)
The key takeaway from this episode (38:56)
Recap (44:37)

Additional resources:

🔍 Check out my website

📖 Pre-order your copy of Calm The Chaos Book

🗓️ Take the Routine Cure course and keep your days organized and running smoothly

👉 Check out my YouTube channel

Connect with me on social media:

🔹 TikTok

🔹 Instagram

🔹 Facebook

Calm the Chaos Parenting is a podcast offering parents practical tools and strategies to navigate the challenges of raising strong-willed, highly sensitive, and neurodivergent children.

🎧 Follow us on your favorite platform so you never miss an episode!

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