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13. How to Reflect on Your Year (Without Having a Meltdown) Jul 13, 2019

Show notes

Helloooo my love! (Is love too strong? That’s strong…) Hellooooo my platonic internet friend I send voicemails to! This week has got me reflecting: Partly because it’s the first week of July ( the beginning of the last half of the year), partly because Rihanna told me to, and partly because it’s my birthday week (WOOO!).

As both an ambitious and emotional person, I’ve learned there’s a right way and a wrong way to reflect on life—whether it’s your birthday, halfway through the year, New Years Eve, or Rihanna told you to. And by “right way,” I mean the way that allows you to reflect on your successes and failures without having an existential meltdown.

There are 3 key parts I’ve found to reflecting the “right” way (which I explain in detail in this episode; why read about it when you could just listen? Anywayyy…):

Be your own hype-person. Find a mental airhorn and blast that sucker.
Don’t look back unless you’re wearing gratitude glasses.
Ask yourself better questions.

In this episode I share my real-life example of how we all minimize our accomplishments, reflect-brag on my own year, and share my top (3) “better” questions. Also, you get to hear an exciting announcement that means free stuff for you. Oh, and my party foghorn. A lot of it.

So…Call me when you get this?

No really, call me! 510) 394-2104. Leave a voicemail with your love notes, feedback, and questions for me to research, and I’ll be sure to call you back.

If you liked this episode, please subscribe, or rate (with all the stars), or leave a mushy review wherever you listen to podcasts – so I can “call” more humans with my trademarked brand of aggressive kindness. If you’ve already done one of those things, THANK YOU!

Song Credit: “Semicircle Song” by The Go! Team

Let’s be friends. DM me on Instagram: @alexisrockley

Looking for a transcript of this podcast episode? Shoot me an email: alexis@alexisrockley.com

____________________________________

Need self-help career advice actually based in science? Check out my book-baby, Find Your F*ckyeah: Stop Censoring Who You Are and Discover What You Really Want, anywhere books are sold.

But also, here: www.findyourfyeah.com

____________________________________

Got an epic idea, but feeling stuck? Maybe you want to pivot careers, launch a business, start a non-profit, quit life and travel the world...but have NO idea how you'll find the money, time, support, or resources to make this thing happen? I get it—and I've been there.

You're not lazy, distracted, or lost. You just need help getting out of your own way. You need goal-setting strategies rooted in psychology, accountability, and aggressive cheerleading.

In other words: Me. I can help.
“Get Out of Your Own Way” is a 6-month, 1:1 mentorship program for motivated creatives who are ready to stop hesitating and start making their big, crazy, impossible goals into reality. NOTE: Bi-annual spots are limited, so apply now!

12. NBD, Just a Big Announcement. Jun 26, 2019

Show notes

Oh, helllllo there. Just popping in to share an exciting announcement...while also slurping coffee and rustling the covers of my bed. (What!? All big announcements should be made from the comfort of one's bed.)

Are you ready?

YOU can actually call ME now! That's right: the Call Me When You Get This hotline is open for business. Just Call: 510) 394 - 2104.

Say hey, crack a joke, share feedback, shower the podcast with compliments, or my favorite option—ask me a question. Y'all know how much I love nerding out on research, so if you've got a question on mental health, happiness, purpose in our careers, productivity, the meaning of life, you name it—I'll do my Laura Derndest to find out what smart people have discovered in science on that topic and share with you. That's 510) 394-2104.

I guess...I'll call you...when I get this?

Song Credit: “Semicircle Song” by The Go! Team

Let’s be friends. DM me on Instagram: @alexisrockley

Looking for a transcript of this podcast episode? Shoot me an email: alexis@alexisrockley.com

____________________________________

Need self-help career advice actually based in science? Check out my book-baby, Find Your F*ckyeah: Stop Censoring Who You Are and Discover What You Really Want, anywhere books are sold.

But also, here: www.findyourfyeah.com

____________________________________

You don't need more generic, good vibe-y (but totally un-researched) advice from self-proclaimed "experts" telling you to "pursue your passion," "learn to prioritize," or "practice self-care." You're not lazy, distracted, or lost. You just need help getting out of your own way.

You need goal-setting strategies rooted in psychology, accountability, and aggressive cheerleading.

In other words: Me. I can help.

Did you know I'm a Career Coach for people who don't believe in careers—or coaching? Surprise!

“Get Out of Your Own Way” is a 6-month, 1:1 mentorship program for motivated creatives who are ready to stop hesitating and start making their big, crazy, impossible goals into reality. NOTE: Bi-annual spots are limited, so apply now!

11. Don't let your inspiration go sour. (Here's how.) Jun 05, 2019

Show notes

OOOOOooooo she’s back, she’s alive, she’s here! And she’s (okay let’s change grammatical tense here: I’m) doing a lap around my neighborhood with newfound coffee, no longer sick in bed. But that’s off topic.

You know that feeling when you’re totally inspired by something (like a friend, someone on social media, an idea, anything really) and because of this thing or person, you’re filled with motivation and energy to change your life? But then, suddenly, that inspiration turns on you—and instead of feeling motivated and inspired, you now feel like garbage, ashamed you haven’t accomplished anything close to that yet, and are overwhelmed by all the ways you’ll never be enough? Welcome to being a human.

In this voicemail, I’m calling to talk about how my inspiration turned on me this morning—and why something I learned recently about the human brain helped to snap me out of it. We’ll talk about how “inspiration” is actually kinetic energy, why the chemicals that freak us the hell out are the same ones that fill us with excitement (just with a different mental “label”), and how to combat the urge to beat yourself up when your inspiration tries to sour on you. We’ll also talk about what do if you’re already “sour”—aka frustrated, fed up, or discontent with something in your life—and how to use that frustrated energy as powerful momentum to make good stuff happen.

Also: little kids on razor scooters, extreme construction noise, and incessant coffee slurping. LOVE YOU.

So…Call me when you get this?

No really, call me! 510) 394-2104. Leave a voicemail with your love notes, feedback, and questions for me to research, and I’ll be sure to call you back.

Song Credit: “Semicircle Song” by The Go! Team

Let’s be friends. DM me on Instagram: @alexisrockley

Looking for a transcript of this podcast episode? Shoot me an email: alexis@alexisrockley.com

____________________________________

Need self-help career advice actually based in science? Check out my book-baby, Find Your F*ckyeah: Stop Censoring Who You Are and Discover What You Really Want, anywhere books are sold.

But also, here: www.findyourfyeah.com

____________________________________

You're not lazy, distracted, or lost. You just need help getting out of your own way. You need goal-setting strategies rooted in psychology, accountability, and aggressive cheerleading.

In other words: Me. I can help. “Get Out of Your Own Way” is a 6-month, 1:1 mentorship program for motivated creatives who are ready to stop hesitating and start making their big, crazy, impossible goals into reality. NOTE: Bi-annual spots are limited, so apply now!

10. How to build confidence, even if you have low self-esteem (who doesn't!?) Apr 17, 2019

Show notes

I’m about to release my book, Find Your F yeah: Stop Censoring Who You Are and Discover What You Really Want (via Chronicle Books, in September 2019!)—so naturally, I’ve been having a crisis of confidence, because, you know, sharing art is always terrifying.

So, today’s voicemail is as much for me as it is for you—because I’ve learned some stuff about confidence you just CAN’T UNSEE, stuff that will change your life. In this episode we talk about the difference between confidence and self-esteem, according to science (it turns out you only need to work on one).

We also cover how to build up your confidence even if you have low self-esteem (spoiler alert: It has nothing to do with innate personality traits , looks, or talent; it’s all about TRYING.) This is all thanks to a little mechanism in your brain called the “dorsal raphe nucleus”…long story. Actually, it’s only a 14 minute story.

BONUS: You also get to hear me admit my two most hated smells in the world, and also cough loudly in your ear. My bad.

Follow my soon-to-be-published book RIGHT HERE!

Science I reference in this episode:

Taking risks builds our autonomy, one of our 3 Psychological Needs, according to SDT (self-determination theory). This counterbalances the pain of failure + making mistakes.

Martin P. Seligman, the founder of positive psychology (and one of my professors from the Specialization in Applied Positive Psychology I just earned from the University of Pennsylvania) talks about default helplessness and the dorsal raphe nucleus in his book, The Hope Circuit. You can also read an academic paper on it here: Maier, S. F., & Seligman, M. E. (2016). Learned helplessness at fifty: Insights from neuroscience. Psychological review, 123(4), 349–367. doi:10.1037/rev0000033

So…Call me when you get this?

No really, call me! 510) 394-2104. Leave a voicemail with your love notes, feedback, and questions for me to research, and I’ll be sure to call you back.

Song Credit: “Semicircle Song” by The Go! Team

Let’s be friends. DM me on Instagram: @alexisrockley

Looking for a transcript of this podcast episode? Shoot me an email: alexis@alexisrockley.com

____________________________________

Need self-help career advice actually based in science? Check out my book-baby, Find Your F*ckyeah: Stop Censoring Who You Are and Discover What You Really Want, anywhere books are sold.

But also, here: www.findyourfyeah.com

9. You're not lazy, your brain is glitching. (How to avoid the scam of multitasking and still get things done.) Apr 03, 2019

Show notes

Hi hello hey there hiiiiii! Today I'm calling to clarify (1) no, you're not lazy, (2) no, you're not bad at your job, and (3) your brain is glitching, because—drumroll please—it turns out "multitasking" is a scam.

In this voicemail, I breakdown the science behind why multitasking is actually "switch-tasking"—and what that's doing to your ability to focus + get anything done. (Hint: very bad things. Your brain needs a hug.) I also explain why your attention span is your only limited inner resource—and give practical tips for how to stay productive without giving into to the billions of dollars worth of advertising around "productivity," "efficiency," and "multitasking." Hint: studies show the most productive people do ONE thing at at time. (WTF?!)

Oh, and more heavy breathing, loud trucks, and threats of rain. Good stuff.

P.S. You're cordially invited to rewire your brain—with the free 27-day "One Thing @ a Time Email Challenge ," designed to help you relearn REAL productivity in under a month. You don't want to miss it, because challenge participants get multiple chances at winning a huge prize bundle worth over $297! Sign up for the free 27 day challenge at: www.alexisrockley.com/challenge.

Resources mentioned in the episode:

Favorite mindful focus app: Flipd
The “pomodoro method” of 25-60 minute working blocks with 5-10 min breaks

So…Call me when you get this?

No really, call me! 510) 394-2104. Leave a voicemail with your love notes, feedback, and questions for me to research, and I’ll be sure to call you back.

Song Credit: “Semicircle Song” by The Go! Team

Let’s be friends. DM me on Instagram: @alexisrockley

Looking for a transcript of this podcast episode? Shoot me an email: alexis@alexisrockley.com

____________________________________

Need self-help career advice actually based in science? Check out my book-baby, Find Your F*ckyeah: Stop Censoring Who You Are and Discover What You Really Want, anywhere books are sold.

But also, here: www.findyourfyeah.com

____________________________________

You're not lazy, distracted, or lost. You just need help getting out of your own way. You need goal-setting strategies rooted in psychology, accountability, and aggressive cheerleading.

In other words: Me. I can help. “Get Out of Your Own Way” is a 6-month, 1:1 mentorship program for motivated creatives who are ready to stop hesitating and start making their big, crazy, impossible goals into reality. NOTE: Bi-annual spots are limited, so apply now!

8. "Mindfulness" for people already rolling their eyes. Mar 15, 2019

Show notes

Hello! How the hell are ya? (hahaha! I’ve never said that in my life.) Today’s voicemail about mindfulness is for everyone rolling their eyes - because I don’t blame you. Meditation / mindfulness is uber trendy; it’s basically the “kale” of modern spirituality.

And there’s plenty of misinformation out there about mindfulness: is it a spiritual practice, or isn’t it? Are there any studies proving its effects on the body? Do you actually have to clear your mind to get the benefits? Or give up WiFi and move to a cave in the Adirondacks to be good at it? (Hint: nope, its simple.) Get ready for the simplest breakdown of mindfulness ever (no joke, I sum it up in four words), the garbled sound of wind in my earbuds, and a comment about my armpit sweat from way out of left field. You’re welcome.

So…Call me when you get this?

No really, call me! 510) 394-2104. Leave a voicemail with your love notes, feedback, and questions for me to research, and I’ll be sure to call you back.

Song Credit: “Semicircle Song” by The Go! Team

Let’s be friends. DM me on Instagram: @alexisrockley

Looking for a transcript of this podcast episode? Shoot me an email: alexis@alexisrockley.com

____________________________________

Need self-help career advice actually based in science? Check out my book-baby, Find Your F*ckyeah: Stop Censoring Who You Are and Discover What You Really Want, anywhere books are sold.

But also, here: www.findyourfyeah.com

____________________________________

You need goal-setting strategies rooted in psychology, accountability, and aggressive cheerleading.

In other words: Me. I can help.

Did you know I'm a Career Coach for people who don't believe in careers—or coaching? Surprise!

7. You are not an imposter, you are for real. Mar 05, 2019

Show notes

Hello!!! Today I’m calling from my kitchen, where I’m chopping onions, prepping lunch, jamming to Solange’s new album (it’s so good) and thinking about… Imposter syndrome (something I’ve been personally dealing with this week).

Imposter syndrome is described as doubting your accomplishments and carrying a persistent fear that you’ll be exposed as a fraud; a feeling that you don’t belong. Today we’ll talk about weird ways imposter syndrome manifests itself (creative blocks, procrastination, self sabotage, perfectionism, workaholism, you name it) and most importantly, (5) easy ways to cancel that fraud feeling when it strikes.

Plus, you get to hear the crackle of grilled onions on the stove top and try to piece together why I brought up Eminem. Good stuff all around.

Recommended reading if you’re dealing with imposter syndrome:

The War of Art by Steven Pressfield
Dr. Valerie Young’s research (she also wrote the book The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women: Why Capable People Suffer from the Impostor Syndrome and How to Thrive in Spite of It, but I haven’t read the book yet).
Oh, and her'e’s that People I’ve Loved print that I mentioned!

So…Call me when you get this?

For a deep dive into the hard science of happiness (translated for humans, of course)—join the #HowToLikeBeingAlive community + get weekly advice from yours truly (backed by science). Join us here!

If you liked this episode, please subscribe, rate (with all the stars), and leave a mushy review wherever you listen to podcasts – so I can “call” more humans with my trademarked brand of aggressive kindness. And if you already have, THANKS! You’re the best.

Song Credit: “Semicircle Song” by The Go! Team

Let’s be friends: DM me on Instagram: @alexisrockley

Would you like a transcript of this episode? Shoot me an email: alexis@alexisrockley.com

____________________________________

Need self-help career advice actually based in science? Check out my book-baby, Find Your F*ckyeah: Stop Censoring Who You Are and Discover What You Really Want, anywhere books are sold.

But also, here: www.findyourfyeah.com

____________________________________

You're not lazy, distracted, or lost. You just need help getting out of your own way. You need goal-setting strategies rooted in psychology, accountability, and aggressive cheerleading.

In other words: Me. I can help. “Get Out of Your Own Way” is a 6-month, 1:1 mentorship program for motivated creatives who are ready to stop hesitating and start making their big, crazy, impossible goals into reality. NOTE: Bi-annual spots are limited, so apply now!

6. Stop trying to be productive all the time. Feb 24, 2019

Show notes

Oh my gawd oh my gawdohmygawd hi!!! How does time work? Please explain. Somehow it’s been a month since I called, and for good reason—lots of new stuff happening in my professional life. But today I’m calling to talk about our societal obsession with “productivity,” why we need to knock it off—and at one point I compare you to a kind of fruit ( I swear the metaphor works, just listen in).

If you find yourself struggling with pressure to “produce” constantly, drop me a comment, DM, or email—I’m curious to know how you deal with it. Oh, and please send letters explaining how time works: c/o Alexis Rockley, P.O. Box 10032, 490 Lake Park Ave, Oakland, CA 94610. Much obliged.

So…Call me when you get this?

No really, call me! 510) 394-2104. Leave a voicemail with your love notes, feedback, and questions for me to research, and I’ll be sure to call you back.

Song Credit: “Semicircle Song” by The Go! Team

Let’s be friends. DM me on Instagram: @alexisrockley

Looking for a transcript of this podcast episode? Shoot me an email: alexis@alexisrockley.com

____________________________________

Need self-help career advice actually based in science? Check out my book-baby, Find Your F*ckyeah: Stop Censoring Who You Are and Discover What You Really Want, anywhere books are sold.

But also, here: www.findyourfyeah.com

____________________________________

You're not lazy, distracted, or lost. You just need help getting out of your own way. You need goal-setting strategies rooted in psychology, accountability, and aggressive cheerleading.

In other words: Me. I can help. “Get Out of Your Own Way” is a 6-month, 1:1 mentorship program for motivated creatives who are ready to stop hesitating and start making their big, crazy, impossible goals into reality. NOTE: Bi-annual spots are limited, so apply now!

5. Let's talk about privilege (and not freak out). Jan 17, 2019

Show notes

Hi!!! How are you?? Today I’m calling to talk about something that makes me (and literally everyone) very uncomfortable: Privilege.

With new conversations about race, gender, sexual preference, ethnicity, faith, and poverty, etc. happening online and IRL, acknowledging privilege is making a lot of people…defensive. As if we need to prove how difficult our lives have been or how hard we’ve worked in order to be valued + heard. Here’s the thing…it’s a total waste of our time and energy.

In this episode I breakdown my definition of privilege (it has to do with the lottery and a road trip), and I invite you to join me in trying something so crazy that it just might make sense. Curious? Hurry up and listen.

P.S. If you’ve got suggestions of books, organizations, or people that work to educate, promote empathy, and breakdown systemic barriers, pleeeeaassssse let me know! Drop a comment or shoot me an email (see below). THENNK EWWE.

So…Call me when you get this?

No really, call me! 510) 394-2104. Leave a voicemail with your love notes, feedback, and questions for me to research, and I’ll be sure to call you back.

Song Credit: “Semicircle Song” by The Go! Team

Let’s be friends. DM me on Instagram: @alexisrockley

Looking for a transcript of this podcast episode? Shoot me an email: alexis@alexisrockley.com

____________________________________

Need self-help career advice actually based in science? Check out my book-baby, Find Your F*ckyeah: Stop Censoring Who You Are and Discover What You Really Want, anywhere books are sold.

But also, here: www.findyourfyeah.com

____________________________________

You're not lazy, distracted, or lost. You just need help getting out of your own way. You need goal-setting strategies rooted in psychology, accountability, and aggressive cheerleading.

In other words: Me. I can help. “Get Out of Your Own Way” is a 6-month, 1:1 mentorship program for motivated creatives who are ready to stop hesitating and start making their big, crazy, impossible goals into reality. NOTE: Bi-annual spots are limited, so apply now!

4. You're Right; you're not ready. Start anyway. Jan 10, 2019

Show notes

Helloooo! Today I’m calling to tell you what I wish future Me could have time traveled to tell Past me: “You’re absolutely right, you’re not ready. Start anyway.” In this quick episode I explain

why you’re sure you’re not ready to try the thing you want to try,
how to overcome your lizard brain from paralyzing you with fear, and
a new approach to failure: think like a scientist.

Oh, and I came up with a killer bumper sticker idea: “Today’s ceiling is tomorrow’s floor.” TM, Copyright, blah blah blah, LMK if you need a logo tee. But really, be brave—start starting. I promise it’s worth it.

So…Call me when you get this?

No really, call me! 510) 394-2104. Leave a voicemail with your love notes, feedback, and questions for me to research, and I’ll be sure to call you back.

Song Credit: “Semicircle Song” by The Go! Team

Let’s be friends. DM me on Instagram: @alexisrockley

Looking for a transcript of this podcast episode? Shoot me an email: alexis@alexisrockley.com

____________________________________

Need self-help career advice actually based in science? Check out my book-baby, Find Your F*ckyeah: Stop Censoring Who You Are and Discover What You Really Want, anywhere books are sold.

But also, here: www.findyourfyeah.com

____________________________________

You're not lazy, distracted, or lost. You just need help getting out of your own way. You need goal-setting strategies rooted in psychology, accountability, and aggressive cheerleading.

In other words: Me. I can help. “Get Out of Your Own Way” is a 6-month, 1:1 mentorship program for motivated creatives who are ready to stop hesitating and start making their big, crazy, impossible goals into reality. NOTE: Bi-annual spots are limited, so apply now!

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